sunshine chaser

Baba- My rockstar forever!

noreply@blogger.com (Venus) — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 17:37:00 +0000

Every girl is princess to her father and dad is her hero. I was also that princess who grew up still to remain a little princess for her father. But am one of those unfortunate ones who lost her hero as well.
Whenever I think of Baba, I can just remember those wise words of wisdom, those jokes, all the inspiration he gave me and those eyes filled with immense love! We shared a special bond and Baba was the one who created that bond. My hubby still says that he has spoilt me which I don't deny ;) but whatever good things I have learnt I can proudly say that those are from Baba.
When I was studying, he would say give in your best. When I started working, he still said the same... Never once he has asked me about how much I earn or about my designation. He has always told me that keep giving your best and don't cheat on yourself, you will always succeed!
My mornings used to become better after hearing his cheerful voice and his happy 'good morning' :) I just crave to hear that voice again.
The only thing that gives me peace is that he was suffering a lot because of his health and was not able to do anything he liked and God gave him relief from that finally.
Wherever he is , I know his blessings are with me. Wherever he is I know he is looking at me with those love filled eyes. I just want to tell you baba that I love you loads and I miss you everyday. I just wish I could hear your voice again and give you a tight hug! But I will smile and do all the things you have always taught me and make you proud with my deeds.
And I know you are smiling and reading this with a glass of scotch and saying Cheers!!!! :)

A special friend...

noreply@blogger.com (Venus) — Sun, 21 Aug 2011 14:18:00 +0000

Friendship can have no definition or no set of rules... You just happen to make friends and connect to certain people.

Today I will tell you all about one of my special friends. I met her in India when I shifted to a new apartment after marriage. I had asked the society watchman to send someone for househelp.She came like a normal househelp, her salary was fixed and her daily chores were identified. We started chatting, though the 1 hour she was in my house, was the busiest hour of the day! 'Getting ready for office'. But still we managed to strike a conversation daily and it was mostly she sharing her daily challenges of in-laws, monetary aspect, kids and a lot of things. But I made it sure I had sometime to talk to her, as she told she feels good to share her thoughts with me. Like she said she doesn’t have friends.

She was married off at 15 and became a mother at 16. And when I was celebrating my 1st anniversary at 25, she was celebrating her 10th! She had to manage a household of 10 morons who had thought that they were marrying off their son to get a full-time househelp, who was bound to do everything they asked!.

I used to feel very connected to her and tried my best to help her in ways that was possible. But she herself was one strong lady! What made her special was that she never sought sympathy, she was strong and wanted to be independent and the most important, wanted her kids to have a good education so that they don't face her challenges.
She fought with her in laws and started earning so that she could send her kids to an english medium school. She used to bring her kids to my place and sometimes i used to talk to them over phone, giving those advices which I would have given to my own children, especially on studies and career.
Her braveness doesn't end, she convinced her husband to move out of her in-laws house into there own small one, so that whatever time she had after working as a househelp, she could spend that with her kids, instead of working again for a big family of inconsiderate 10 people!

I always used to feel that its unfair. Me at 25 was just married, staying alone with hubby, roaming around, have a job and the other normal aspects. But she, whenever she used to share her feelings, never once compared, or said that its unfair! Just that she would not want her daughter to be in the same shoes as hers.

When I was moving from that apartment and shifting abroad, I got nostalgic and started remembering a lot of people and things I would miss on a daily basis. And she was one. There was not one day that I would open the door in the morning and she wouldn't greet me with a smile. She used to scold me like my mom, if I would not eat the chapatis she made. She would make me some sweet dish like a friend as treat for my birthday :)

I called her after reaching netherlands but I couldn't reach the number she had given. I was very upset, but after a month I got to speak to her. And I was so happy that day that I mentioned this to my colleagues. And everyone found it strange that I was making international calls to talk to my househelp back in india! So I ask everyone today, why is it so difficult for people to accept someone's friend who is not from the same background. But I proudly call her my friend and dedicate this post to one of the strongest women I have ever come met :) And I thank the Almighty, to make my journey of life full of so many experiences and so many special friends. I learnt something from each one of them!

So, when is the "good news"?!

noreply@blogger.com (Venus) — Tue, 02 Aug 2011 15:27:00 +0000

Why the hell are you so interested in hearing a good news from me?.. I hope you people are understanding the hidden 'good news' part. It irritates me to the core, when am forced to face such questions!
I am not waiting for the good news neither my husband is and nor my parents are, then who the hell are you?!
I really wonder sometimes, does marriage mean having babies as a compulsory attribute along with it? I am very happy in my married life and equally busy in my work life and yes I have not even given any kind of thought to having babies. Am I wrong in that?
And come on, when I want to have a baby and whether I should have a baby or not, is totally a matter under me and my husband. Why does that distant relative or that office colleague or that neighbour, is interested in something that is very personal?

When you are not married, you get loads of advise to get married and why you should get married and how important it is and all that blah! And then when you get married, they will start the same rant with babies in picture now. When will these 'too courteous' people understand that they have just no business in this! When I will have a baby, they will get the good news, so just be bothered about that and don't poke your ugly and irritating nose into other things!

Very frankly, I have not thought of having babies. I feel I am not mentally prepared for a baby, and may be I never feel that way. But that is my personal thinking and the only person who can question me is my husband! No one else! When I tell people that I might never think of having babies, I am given such alien looks that I feel i just committed a verbal crime! I get remarks like 'Ya you still have time, you can wait till you are 30'. Ok, so far so fine. What if I turn 30 and am still not ready to become a parent and take that responsibility?! Will I be sent to a mental rehabilitation center??? Or will I be out-casted from the community?!

My sister just delivered a baby boy. And I am really happy for her and really feel wonderful whenever I see him and feel very affectionate towards him. But when I talk to her and listen about the responsibilities that come along and how suddenly your daily routine has to change etc, I really don't foresee myself doing all that. I am scared to an extent and more importantly haven't thought about it so much. But yes, even if I decide not to have a baby, I don't feel am doing anything wrong in that! If both me and my husband feel that being a parent is something we won't be able to do rightly or we don't want to experience that, it is something that we both have decided and it is our choice.

So, YOU X aunty or Y neighbour or Z colleague, please don't give me advice! If I feel the need of it, I will ask it from my parents or my sis or my close friends.
It is OUR life and it will be OUR good news!

The Surname Factor ;)

noreply@blogger.com (Venus) — Wed, 08 Sep 2010 18:31:00 +0000

I have been having this thought since some time now. Is our surname really important? We all form a first impression of any person we meet. But did you realise that the conclusions we draw of our 'first' impression also include a few from the 'surname' of a person.
In India we have so many casts and also different religions across the country and hence we have uncountable number of different surnames. So, when we happen to meet a person for the first time we tend to conclude something from the surname. I am no God, even i do the same!!! Its actually funny most of the times ;)
I being a bengali had the privilege of spending my childhood in a small cosmopolitan town and hence coz of all obvious reasons I am a bit of every culture (depending on the 'best friend' i had in that class ;) ). We as kids were so naive!!! anyways coming back to the topic. I am often faced with this remark " Oh wow your hindi doesn't sound like a bengali!". Now I fail to understand, was this a compliment or a failing mockery!!!
I did my graduation in maharashtra and had the opportunity to experience hostel life. And as all hostel sagas go even I had horrible meals provided in the hostel. Wait, can I even call it a meal?! Every meal and every curry used to be full of groundnuts! And thus came another inference "all maharashtrians love just groundnuts"! thank god I was proven wrong ;). And then I married a gujrati! When ever I tell this to anyone the first reaction I get is "Oh poor you, a bengali married to gujrati, you must have stopped eating non-vegetarian food and your husband must be very kanjoos (miser)"!!!!
Thank god none of them is true!!! ;) Why can't a gujrati eat non vegetarian food and why the hell can't he be a spent thrift!!!!
I have many muslim friends and I love many small aspects of their culture as well! Specially the food!!! One of my muslim friends was once faced with a question "during a india-pakistan match whom do you support?". People, can there be a more dumber question!!!! Does she have to provide a certificate that she is an Indian??!!!
So, I have decided one thing, whenever I am going to have a child, I for sure am not going give him/her any surname which will define his caste or religion. I am sure my husband will support me on this. We all crib about a lot of things that are not changing but never realise that change has to start somewhere. So, in my family I will start the change. I want my child to know the fact that he/she is an indian and rest whatever the child wants to learn or follow its upto him/her. Be it any caste or be it any religion! :)

My daughter, my pearl....

noreply@blogger.com (Venus) — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 18:35:00 +0000

Dedicating this post to one of my sweetest friend who just experienced the happiness of motherhood... I just tried to portray her feelings in my words... hope to experience this wondrous feeling someday....

A smile tinkled at me
Her eyes showed a million stars
A touch of her hand
Made me forget where I am

I was scared, I was anxious
I was wondering how
Her cry made me feel
My angel is now on earth

I wish her happiness
I wish her all d good wishes
I thank god for giving me my treasure
She is my daughter, she is my love
She is my pearl, my darling forever...

If only...

noreply@blogger.com (Venus) — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 11:05:00 +0000

This song has been like an anthem for me always and always will. It gives me immense strength to stand by.... anything. Just love the song , every bit of it!

It'll be alright, you said, tomorrow
Don't you cry, don't you shed a tear
When you wake up, I'll still be here
When you wake up, we'll battle all your fears

So now I'll take my heart back
Put your pictures on the floor
Steal back my memories,
Oh I can't take it any more
I've cried my heart out, now i face the years
The way you loved me, vanished all the tears

Just a little more time was all we needed
Just a little time for me to see
Oh all the light that life can give you
Or how it can set you free
So now I'll......

Hate...

noreply@blogger.com (Venus) — Thu, 20 May 2010 04:35:00 +0000

Don't knock at my door,
Nor my windows so tight.
Don't look into my eyes,
With your fake sight
Don't peep into my soul,
Nor my life so bright
Don't touch my hands
As those fingers ain't mine
Don't make me say in sober words
Coz 'Hate' can never be a beautiful word

Unwinded wind...

noreply@blogger.com (Venus) — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 18:12:00 +0000

Frozen she stood by the sidewalk
Amidst a crowd that never stops
Do they also feel the need to breathe?
Or is it me who just felt the wind?

The wind that wants me to stop
The wind that questions me a lot
The wind that asked me to brood
To think, to cry and smile as I stood.

Days, weeks, months and years
Are just numbers, you count so clear
People who can make you smile
Is what you should count my dear

You forget, the way she did
And be the part of that crowd
Till one day you are forced to halt
Frozen by the unwinded wind...

“If we are all alone, we are all together in that too!”

noreply@blogger.com (Venus) — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 19:34:00 +0000

Hey..long time no see huh?!! I know u are telling me this :) Yes not giving any reasons for suddenly disappearing. My bad and totally on me!
Had an interesting day which compelled me to blog. Interesting in many ways! Had an interesting discussion with someone I look up to and I wish many more such discussions to happen.
Day ending by watching “P.S. I love you”. I have read the novel twice and tried watching the movie. But the movie never matches the novel so always ditched the movie halfway. Today being a Friday night and me not having much to do I got somehow hooked to it. You know what my conclusion is – “Forget the book and try watching the movie as a new story altogether and am sure you will love it”.
I was wondering why I simply adore the book. I generally don’t like mushy movies or very mushy stories and this is the only romantic novel I can claim to have read. But today I realize why I like this. I like this because it tells that love is not about just one person in your life. There is love in every person’s life in many different forms and that love will never die. Be it for any reason a person associated with that love goes away, someone else will definitely fit into that. We humans are bound to feel love and bound to make love felt!

I think I wrote enough today :)
“Don’t be afraid to fall in love again,
P.S. I Love You!”

I wont feel blue...

noreply@blogger.com (Venus) — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 11:20:00 +0000

Super trouper beams are gonna blind me
But I wont feel blue
Like I always do
cause somewhere in the crowd theres you
~ABBA~

My Promise-Our love

noreply@blogger.com (Venus) — Thu, 14 May 2009 18:53:00 +0000

My happiness was unbounded, my smile persistent
Your touch was a streak of lightening,
Its shiver was just everlasting!
I got a gift from god, I got a blessing I sought
You my gift so enchanting,
You were everything I was ever wanting.

You made my days brighter
You made my dreams clearer
You made me fly higher
You, my love, my angle forever

I wait for the day, I dream for the night
I seem to be on my fairy ride
A promise I make today with pride
Am sure that I'll love you for my life!

A prayer so true...

noreply@blogger.com (Venus) — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 17:31:00 +0000

I wait for a new day to come,

I smile when I face the sun

My day passes by without a grudge

The night follows by with a sweet hug

Counting days to be in those arms

But smiling away as every moment pass

You my shadow, my mighty succor

Don't let tough time take away the shimmer

Have faith, have trust, have hope in every weather

Even our prayers will come true as GOD is every where!

Happy Buhhhdddayyyy Blog!!!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Venus) — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 04:29:00 +0000

I just realised that I have completed 1yr of blogging!!! So Happy B'day my blog.. I love you loads!!! ;) hehehe...

These are the times when you realise that how fast time can fly!!! Even for me the year went through a lot of crests and troughs but at least am happy with the discovery of a poet in me!! :D Now when I visit my blog or read my poems, I feel elated that yes I know how to express! Nothing can be more wonderful than that :)

But today I want to dedicate this post to the person who inspired me to start writing a blog. I know he will be reading this and will just pass a smile :) But I just what to say 'Thanks' for this wonderful inspiration!!!

Everything has to have a darker side, a period of pain and agony.But when you come out of it you start hating the person less and look at the brighter side :) So this small poem goes to the person who made me realise how important it is to take decisions (my 1st Blog :D) and decisions which would make you 'happy'....

You gifted me a smile, you gifted me decisions
You made me realize the meaning of happiness
You took all away, you made my days somber
But I now realize that it made me stronger

Life is not about regretting,
Life is all about moving
Life is what I am now leading!

So, just a simple ‘Thanks’, just a simple ‘Smile’
Just a simple walk down the memory line.

A desert called ‘confusions’…

noreply@blogger.com (Venus) — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 13:48:00 +0000

I stopped, I looked behind
I always felt I was being called
The moment I waited, to hear that again
The moment I wanted, never came again

I was content, more than I wanted
But there was something which made me unwanted
Love I breathed, care I felt
And also a pile of memories which I dreamt

Togetherness made every day glimmer
Distance always took away the shimmer
I sat bemused again by that window
My emotions were petrified and I felt all hollow

Do I always have to express my wants?
Do I always have to wait for that love?
Do I always have to feel the emotions?
Why me always in a desert called ‘confusions’?!

No excuse for being Philanthropist...

noreply@blogger.com (Venus) — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 18:30:00 +0000

Just saw the movie Seven Pounds, though I have never written about any movie or my likes/dislikes. But this movie compelled me to write at least something. At this moment am feeling all choked, choked with emotions, loaded with thoughts, piled with loads of memories flashing in my mind. I don’t know where to start and how to express but just one thing- “Love people, help people, care for people who matter”.

We all have read at thousand occasions “life is short, be happy” but how much do we keep that in mind when we are actually going through a bad time? We don’t. How often do we remember being good to others? How correct do we find being empathetic at almost all situations? How hard do we find to be nice to someone who wasn’t that nice to us? Made you rethink and ponder on the questions ;)

The best part I liked about the movie was the importance of “realization”. Being in a material world, the importance of feelings, emotions, love, care everything becomes a second priority. Not our fault completely! But what is amiss is the factor - realization. It has become very easy for us to say “I forgot, am sorry”, “please understand, it wasn’t possible” and many such one liners which have become predominant in our vocabulary.
Is it that hard to be kind? NO. Is it that hard to express love? NO. Is it that hard to start your pursuit of happiness? Again a BIG NO!
Still thinking about what you just read and the questions that were asked? Don’t! Just stop and start living a life full of kindness, love, care and a bag full of happiness! :))

Our love - My Words…

noreply@blogger.com (Venus) — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 10:39:00 +0000

Like flutter of butterfly wings
Like the bud of a rose, so pink
Like the dew on a green leaf
Our love is that serene

Like the smile of a sleeping child
Like the hug of a long lost friend
Like the touch of a mother’s hand
Our love is that pristine

Like the walk on an empty beach
Like the rains on a land, so brown
Like the sunset on the top of a hill
Our love is that exquisite

Like my every word, every sentence
Like my every poem that has shown existence
Like my every emotion, every action
Our love is everything that I can ever mention!

Happily ever after

noreply@blogger.com (Venus) — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 08:46:00 +0000

The gift wrapped in love
Destiny blessed it to come
Ecstasy got a new meaning
In the dictionary I was living

My happiness he searched
But missed my eyes in that hunt
Tell me how better, can I show my love..

Happiness, love, dreams and hope
Came back with a rouge
You added these vanished words,
You made my world glow.

I want you to know
'You' made 'us' happen
You made our unending story to begun
It’s all about 'us', its all about love
It’s the only story to have- "happily ever after" :)

Am at loss of words...

noreply@blogger.com (Venus) — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 08:29:00 +0000

I feel at loss of words,
When I try to explain “I miss you”
I hear your breath even in my heartbeat
Now, you only explain what is, “missing you”
Togetherness only makes sense with you by my side
My love, fill up this emptiness by being forever mine!

I feel at loss of words
When I try to explain “I need you”
I feel your presence even in your absence
Now, you only explain what is, “needing you”
Mirthfulness only makes sense with you by my side
My love, fill up this glumness by being forever mine!

I feel at loss of words
When I try to explain “I love you”
I see your smile even with closed eyes
Now, you only explain what is “Loving you”
Happiness only makes sense with you by my side
My love, fill up this loneliness by being forever mine!

My treasure of Happiness…

noreply@blogger.com (Venus) — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 06:59:00 +0000

Search for happiness is never ending
For me your smile is one such ending
The time I spend draped in the warmth of your arms
Are the moments which define happiness for me, my love!

The love in your eyes brightens up my morning
The spark in your smile lights up my evening
I agree to be with you without any reason
I can spend my life happily with you 'my' treasure!

Am in love...

noreply@blogger.com (Venus) — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 16:50:00 +0000

A smile straight from the heart
I drew closer to you, more than I thought
Blessings from the heaven
Made my trust on love deepen
Somehow I knew I was right
Somehow I felt the time was mine
Today I knew my smile was enough to say-“Yes am in Love”

Without YOU...

noreply@blogger.com (Venus) — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 21:34:00 +0000

Days were dreary, the nights destitute
My eyes were tired, my smile a big liar
Its said time will fly, even the distance is nice
I say even a minute without you is not worth a try!

My Love you are my life...

noreply@blogger.com (Venus) — Sat, 15 Nov 2008 18:04:00 +0000

Dreams were coming true
The sky with shining moon
Flowers were blooming alight
As you were all mine!

Sunshine came with rouge
Even the shadows had a glow
The breeze was flying high
As you were all mine!

Summers were bright and right
Rains had nothing to fight
Even the winters came with a smile
As you were all mine!

Clouds had gone home
Even the darkness was all alone
Now paradise was my home
As I was not alone.
You made all happen,
You brought them all
You my life, my soul, my Love!

YOU...

noreply@blogger.com (Venus) — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 19:26:00 +0000

I never knew missing is so difficult,
As I never knew loving can be so intent!
I never knew smiling is so wonderful
As I never knew evrything ends in "YOU"!

Dreams...

noreply@blogger.com (Venus) — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 03:01:00 +0000

Faint sound lingered in my ears
I didn't realise when I closed my eyes full of tears
There I was standing in that lane
Holding your hands and smiling like a dame

I could see no more tears
I could feel there was no more fear
Its only here that you are all mine
Its only here that I never cry

My dreams so nice,
Please come to me every night
Its where I find solace,
Its where you are only mine.

Its what I cherish even with closed eyes
Its what I want to see after I open my eyes!

Yours forever...

noreply@blogger.com (Venus) — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 12:26:00 +0000

Every time I close my eyes,
Your thoughts fill up my mind.
Your touch I can feel,
As I run my thoughts wild.

That urge to come closer,
That wait which was never over.
I wanted to be yours,
Without this distance so growse

Will wait for the day,
When distance will not matter.
Will wait for the day,
When I’ll be yours forever!