I watch Project Runway.  I didn’t mean to.  But one time I watched it and then I watched it again and now I watch it every damn week.  I think all the clothes are stupid and I sit there and compare them.  It would make me lol to think that it was my extensive knowledge of fashion that allows me to pick who will win and lose each week (my record is stellar) but I think it has more to do with bad editing.

That said - I have a simple question.  These people make clothes for a living (or not a living, I don’t know).  Their goal is to get people to look at their clothes and say: “I want to wear that!”  That’s why they are on the show.  That’s why they are blubbering every frigging week about winning this or that and how much it means to them.  So I ask you this:

Why don’t they wear clothes they made on the show?

If you MAKE clothes, then make your own.  Then you would be advertising your clothes while you walk down the street.  While you get gas.  While you get drunk in public.  WHILE YOU ARE ON NATIONAL TV!  I don’t get it.  Maybe it’s a rule?  Maybe they can’t make clothes for themselves cause they…umm…can’t see behind themselves?  I don’t know.  I need an answer.

Someone answer me, please.  It’s a simple question.  Someone?  Heidi Klum?  That gay guy?  The other lady?  Someone?

For me, Labor Day has always been a source of anguish.  The end of summer.  The realization that having a holiday on Monday makes it so you have to go to work hung over on Tuesday.  The train accidents.  All of it generally rolls into a big messy ball of pain.

And this Labor Day is especially painful, cause all the marathons on TV suck.  I did all my outside activities already and now I am stuck with a choice of watching either Dirty Jobs or some other crap I don’t care about.  The only thing that has held my interest at all is the eighty hours of the 80’s on VH1 Classic.  It may not have a plot or any continuity, but it has .38 Special.  And that’s good enough for me.

Take a look at this video - it pretty much has everything.  Not only is it a good song, but it has some sweet white guy overbite dancing.  Have a happy Labor Day and, for God’s sake, stay off the trains.

Something has been weighing heavily on my mind.  Yep, it’s Diddy’s problems with gas prices.  I can’t think straight knowing he’s suffering.  One of my favorite shows is I Want to Work For Diddy and how will he fly the prospective assistants around if he can’t afford jet fuel?  This has got to stop!  If Diddy can’t afford $200,000 per trip in fuel prices, how does the average consumer afford it.  Please mister-gas-price-fixer, we have to help Diddy.

Earlier this week someone made a comment on a post made by Maitland and thought it was Acadia.  Which got the Gallery Brain Trust thinking that maybe people are missing the fact that we have a team of people trying to entertain you.

It may be that the breakneck speed with which we put up new content (Every Rarely on the dot!) implies that we don’t have a bunch of people.  But we do.  They are all just equally lazy.  Wait - not lazy.  We mean busy.  Busy saving lives and things like that.  These people are all heroes.  Much hero…er than you.

We were going to make a list of them, but then we realized that there is a list right over there on the right.  So get clicking.  Take notice of the differences between the writers, and then come back here and tell us what you think.  Get going!

Everything you knew about Carl Lewis and Michael Johnson can go to hell. Compared to, everything you knew about this Spitz dude can go to hell. Who really knows Spitz? Chances are, you at least gave a damn about Lewis and Johnson at some point in time.

See, track at least matters, a little bit. Swimming? Tougher? Much more strenuous workout? Sure, sure.

When it comes to competition, however, track and field events are still premium compared to Swimming. The two single toughest races to win at any Olympic games, because you’re always going against the Best of the absolute Best, are the 100m and the 200m on the track.

Not everyone can swim.

I’m not even talking about the level in which Phelps cut through the water. I’m talking swim. Some folks are straight adverse to that notion.

So, what Phelps has done. Yeah, it’s impressive. Damn impressive. When it comes to swimming, who else you got ahead of Phelps? No one.

Contrast that to a sprint. Not everyone gets in the water. But, everyone, and damn, I certainly do mean everyone, can relate to a sprint.

Before you picked up a baseball bat and took a cut, you likely put finger to pavement, grass, beach, whatever surface in front of you. You had someone next to you. Friend, sibling, some jerk, whoever. Someone gave you a start and BOOM, you were running.

Point is, running is done the World over. It is universal and it is to our core.

Most of the Olympics are speciality games. Gymnastics. Diving. How often do you see Volleyball? HANDBALL? Yeah, it looks crazy fun to just chuck a ball and run around and combine soccer/basketball, but if a team rattles off shutouts in every handball game to win the Gold: the GREATEST Handball run ever…it does not suddenly surpass basketball or soccer. But, with Phelps, that’s what we’re trying to do.

Sprinting is not a speciality event. It’s one of the few events at the Olympics of such nature. And, within that, there are three races. The 100m, 200m and the 400m. The 800m and 1500m, while on the same track, take a different type of athlete altogether. So, please, don’t hold it against Usain Bolt that he has less chances to win Gold Medals and can’t rack up a Medal Count as impressive as what Phelps did.

Because Bolt did something that everyone can do and where the competition is at a much higher level than what Phelps faced. If you put 100 people in a building and tell them to work on running the 100m track for a year and 10 people in a pool and tell them to work on swimming for a year, it is likely that the track meet at the end of a year is going to have more intense competition than the swimming. With a large sample size, you weed out the pretenders. Swimming is still working with a small sample size, while sprinting has the largest sample size of any athletic event at the Olympic Games. That means something. When you call Phelps the greatest Olympian of all time, you overlook what that means.

The 100/200 sprint double has not been done since Carl Lewis did so in 1984. The list of athletes to win gold in the 100 and 200 now sits at three: Jesse Owens, Carl Lewis and Usain Bolt. With a list like that, don’t tell me that Phelps is better because he can do the breaststroke and the fly.

Everyone can run and Usain Bolt is better than everyone.

Picture Perfect is in full swing - and you can still get in on it. Check out these links, sucka! Win the $25.00 or the 5000 Entrecard Credits. Come on!

• Picture Perfect Rules
• Picture Perfect Standings
• Picture Perfect Round One - The Body
• Picture Perfect Round Two - Food
• Picture Perfect Round Three - Entertainment
• Picture Perfect Round Four - Buildings

I know none of these people care if I like them or not.  But I figure if I can sway anyone ELSE to not like them then that whole 6 degrees of separation thing will set in.  Then they will be disliked by tons more people.  So let’s get to disliking!  These aren’t in any kind of order.  If I could put things in a revolving circle with like arrows shooting them it would rule.  I am so unskilled.

Bobby Flay

This guy just sucks it.  I hate him on Next Food Network Star.  And also, how come everyone on Food Network is a star?  Are they like porn?  Anyway - Bobby Flay sucks.  He’s an arrogant tool and he lost on Iron Chef last night and I was glad.  His Melon dishes with a frozen component all sucked, and not ONCE did he giggle when he kept saying ‘melon’ and ‘honeydew’ and all sorts of other boobie sounding words.  Humorless Dick.

I am not quite sure how much traction the ‘dislike Bobby Flay’ movement is going to get, but I am super fine with everyone jumping on the bandwagon.  Maybe we could go to Barnes and Noble and find his cook books and write ‘1/2 cup of poop’ at the beginning of each recipe?

Eleanor Clift

What’s wrong with her?  I’ll tell you what’s wrong with her.  In fact I’ll tell you a few things.

1. She realized a long time ago that the only way she was going to be heard on The McLaughlin Group was to continously shriek like someone was trying to fit a coked up cat wearing a needle suit into her colon.  So the whole show is her shrieking.
2. Her shrieking interrupts my watching of Monica Crowley.  Notice I did not say listening, but rather watching.  Monica is terrifying in her beauty and her stupidness.  Eleanor being on the same set wrecks it for me.
3. She looks like a Skeksis and all she does is repeat Democratic talking points.  Bah!

Memphis from Big Brother 10

This turd gets on my nerves perhaps worse than anyone else on this list.  For example - this is an excerpt from his bio on the Big Brother site:

Memphis is a very charismatic young man who, as a teenager, once sold fake Nike sport shoes on street corners. He currently works as a “Mixologist,” which he insists should not be confused with a bartender.

That’s just stupid.  And also his name is Memphis.  I bet his parents conceived him there, after being overcome by the rapture of Graceland.  Ugh.

I hope they vote him out soon.  And I hope when the do he cries.  And when he gets home he finds out that there is no such thing as a ‘Mixologist’ and has to work at Foot Locker.

John McCain

This is not a political post.  If you want’s political humor, then you need to go over to Polisicks.  I am just talking about the fact that he is a disoriented old crab who just keeps grumping around and bothering me.  And that’s not even the worst thing.  The worst thing is when he calls everyone ‘My friends’.  He does that in every goddamned speech.

That bugs me as much and Bill Clinton pointing with his goddamned thumb.  Who advises these people?  I don’t want some guy who isn’t my friend to call me his friend.  He gonna move this couch with me?  I don’t think so.  I am saying it right now.  If he loses, it is going to be because of that ‘My Friends’ thing.  I want to be called ‘folks’ or ‘hey’ or ‘you people’.  Stupid old grump.

I bet there is a person on his staff who tells him the same knock-knock joke every morning, and writes down whether he acts like he never heard it before.  That’s what I’d do.

Sharon Osborne

She’s on this list because I know who she is and I shouldn’t.  She is the WIFE of a famous person.  I don’t know Robert Plant’s wife’s name.  I don’t know anyone who is famous’ wife’s name unless the wife is famous for something other than being married to the famous guy.  And the same goes in reverse.  If some famous woman marries a doctor, nobody cares who he is.  And we shouldn’t care who this hag is.

I think she is a judge on some show.  And if she is, the show had better be called: Mooching off your spouse’s fame.  In fact, if that IS the show, I would so watch it.  I bet Ice T’s wife will win!

Let’s all try to get Sharon Osborne to have to be not on TV.  Or radio.  Or on the paper.  Unless it is a story about how she sucks and she was awarded the suckiest sucker award by the International Suck Institute.

So, in conclusion - all these people bother me.  Please make sure you dislike them and try to get your friends and colleagues to do the same.  You all owe me.  So get going.

Picture Perfect is in full swing - and you can still get in on it. Check out these links, sucka! Win the $25.00 or the 5000 Entrecard Credits. Come on!

• Picture Perfect Rules
• Picture Perfect Standings
• Picture Perfect Round One - The Body
• Picture Perfect Round Two - Food
• Picture Perfect Round Three - Entertainment

I know you were all freaking out about it - but you can rest easy now.  The Batcave is fixed.  Come on over.  In other news - that swimming guy won his 7th gold medal in swimming.  I have 12 gold medals.  I used to have 15, but I ate three, as all my gold medals are filled with delicious chocolate.  And then when you bite the foil part it makes your teeth hurt.

Don’t judge me.