SuperGirl @ 40 - Looking at Life with X-Ray Vision

I Can Buy That Better and Faster than You Can

Fri, 10 Jul 2009 06:28:04 GMT

Some of the projects I'm working on right now are in support of the troops we're sending to Afghanistan. That means a lot of extra work I've been handling. My ability to slam through paperwork and get things done quickly and products into the field for our soldiers has been my reputation for almost 2 decades. I was always really good at this before but now and over the past few years, I've been close to several soldiers deployed there and have stayed in touch with them there to offer emotional support while they're away from home. They've told me stories and stories and stories that really grab my heart.

One of them was there for almost a year, and when he had Internet access, we stayed in touch by email, IM, and webcam. Alas, he lost his Internet hook up and instead hooked up with a Dutch nurse for a while. Apparently, there were women where he was, LOL.

I am totally shocked to find that I'm thinking this, but with my supervisors pushing us to consider deploying as civilians to handle contract negotiations and acquisitions, I could see myself doing that for 4-6 months. My boss did that a while back, as a civilian, and still talks about how rewarding the work was. Here, we do so much pushing paper. It's a plastic world that we work in most of the time. This has come up at work several times recently and I guess it says how really bored I am with my current work and how much I miss buying bunker busters.

Meanwhile, I get really pissed in my office when our Marines need things yesterday and people aren't moving fast enough to suit me. It's not because I know people there now--I was always good at this--but there's an undeniable personal touch that wasn't there 5 years ago, even with coworkers and work friends who were deployed.

Wyrd Experiments

Fri, 10 Jul 2009 05:38:36 GMT

Since 2005, I've been doing experiments on the fringe of science. Working with telekinetic energy, mostly. I never dreamed I'd list quantum physics experiments as my official hobby, but hey, there you go. The group I was working with then (which included energy healers, a physician, intuitives, etc) did quite a few such experiments, as "scientifically" as possible, though I'm sure skeptics would disagree. Disagreeing is their job. I did a lot of measuring, testing, changing variables, etc. Yeah, and back in high school, I was burning chewing gum on Bunsen burners as my official high school science project to demonstrate levels of sugar in gum and the effects of aspertame. That was a lot easier to prove than what I've been doing on and off since January 2005.

Not that I'm trying to prove anything to anyone else. I simply like learning more about energetic connections and studying it to understand better.

The "portal" work we did is actually fully documented in How to Build an Interdimensional Portal but it's still waiting for me to edit it. Hmmm, must add that to my list of books to get out there. It's 90% done and really should be shared.

I've been documenting my empathic connections here, much of it in my private entries, for several years, so it's easy to go back and look at what was going on in my life at each episode to see what influences were in play. I've tracked my own physical influences--sugar, caffeine, diet, exercise, hormones, cycles, prescriptions--to see if my empathy correlates. It doesn't.

I'm now adding geomagnetic activity indices to the mix. Solar storms have been up a bit over the past day. Too soon to tell if there's a connecition. Geomagnetic activity is up today over any in the past week...but my strongest sensations were in the middle of last night and then this evening around 9 PM central. GeoMag activity had been higher during other times of feeling just fine and lower during the most intense empathic sensations. Tonight has been full of a connection that was someone else's anxiety and restlessness. On one hand, that's irritating to feel someone else's emotions, but on another, these experiments fascinate me.

Part of my enjoyment of relationships is feeling someone else's emotions and getting direct confirmation from that person of what's going on for them. If I can do this, so can others.

Just curious

Thu, 09 Jul 2009 16:06:45 GMT

Anyone here doing energetic connection work with me last night,
meditating with a focus on me, etc? Around 2:30 AM EST?

If so, please let me know what's going on and what's wrong.

I felt it as a most unusual "nausea" but in my heart chakra. I've
experienced this feeling before in my 3rd chakra as my own and from
empathic connections, but never in my 4th. It was a feeling of...being
homesick. Didn't have Aislinn's energy. My heart didn't hurt...just
felt a little queasy. Make sense, anyone?

Winding Down for the Night

Thu, 09 Jul 2009 06:00:48 GMT

As of midnight, I'm done with listening to The Intention Experiment. I went back and re-listened to the last hour or two. For a slow starter, it was definitely worth listening to all 10+ hours. I liked her other book, The Field, about unified field theory. Wish I could find it but I'm pretty sure I lent it to Frank Francone a while back. Kinda think he never managed to get all the way through it and the doctor didn't want to admit that it intimidated him. Or maybe he just preferred medical texts. Too bad--would've been interesting conversation over dinner.

Believe it or not, I'm not completely done with audiobooks on quantum physics! I've hit the motherload. Though just to mix it up, I may instead listen to a psychology book or maybe something on ancient plagues or futuristic weapons.

Meanwhile, I'm getting a hankering to start writing novels again. Not for big publishers or the market. I hate all that pressure and having to revise my vision to someone else's. The business end of publishing can take all the fun out of writing. Going back to the beginning before I had to do it for the money (or thought I did) or to prove to my ex that it was a viable career field (or thought I did) and just writing what I love, regardless. Essentially thumbing my nose at writing novels as a "commercial career" and going for the pure, unadulterated enjoyment of writing. I"ve been focusing mostly on non-fiction for the past 3 or so years (even the ghost-writing) and the desire for fiction is beginning to churn again. My bazillion writer pals won't understand but there's a freedom in it....I don't depend on my novels to pay the bills, so why write someone else's vision? Taking myself out of that game feels very freeing.

I still have several older novels to revise, and still want to do that but.... Argh, I want to create new things. Or finish some wonderful partials I started and then stopped because the publisher's imprint closed down and the income-producing market died. Like Eye of the Serpent about the tattoo with the bug in it. Or Imaginary Lines about the mom who uses astral projection to find her kidnapped daughter. Ooooooohh. Going to bed now because otherwise, I might just start writing again tonight.

And that, my friends, is why I never ever ever EVER am bored.

The 5 Things Lorna Challenge -- 7/08/09

Wed, 08 Jul 2009 23:26:13 GMT

It's Wednesday!  Time to look around me and appreciate 5 things that delight me! (Click for a better view)

This is a closer view of the center of the Tarot Table I made last summer. It's a collection of various Tarot cards from decks I either no longer used or had duplicates of or had some missing and were therefore not fully useful. These are all cards representing things I wanted to manifest and the way I want my life to be. The center pic is one I've kept since I read The Mists of Avalon's excerpt in Cosmo in the early 80's. I was intrigued by the menage a trois and thought this pic lends nicely to my desire to manifest 2 husbands (long story). The other cards are, oh, Star, 2 of cups, 10 of cups, the HPS, Flow, etc.

Elephant ears. Ah, a nice story of things I loved returning to me when I thought they were gone forever!

When I first moved into this house, there were elephant ears growing here and there in the very minimum-effort flower beds. I planted some more, around in the front yard. The girls used to be amazed at how HUGE they were--not just to them but to me, too. These are wider than a man's shoulders, though many are smaller with the promise of growing large.

Over the years, they stopped coming back. I don't know if they go dormant or what, but they vanished. Other things grew there instead, mostly ferns. Last summer, after Earl the Yard Guy dismantled the front yard and got rid of all the ferns, I was surprised to see 2 or 3 tiny elephant ears pop up.

This summer, they are up in 3 places in the yard, and among the roses, they look especially wonderful. I'm really so pleasantly surprised!

This piece of stained glass used to be in the big bathroom with its mate but I've moved it to my home office, which is very bohemian. The color scheme fits right in and it hides the one window that tends to be open the most so that joggers past my house don't sneak up behind me, LOL, and peek in. It's mate got broken...though it was cracked when I acquired it. I've always had a thing for stained glass.

Peacock feathers in the bedroom.    When I was a little girl, my parents took me to a neighbor's house where there was a peacock roaming the yard. I don't know about the peahens, I was impressed! Peacock feathers are sacred to Hera, and I've had them in my home for several years in the foyer. I moved them last year to the bedroom. Just feels right.

I love a fire in the fireplace, even if it's summer! This is actually a mass of Christmas tree lights that glow and blink all times of the year. They're great for cozying up next to on a chilly evening...AND on a hot night...to talk or watch TV or just hang out. The mind quickly forgets that they're electric lights and you really feel the ambience.

That's it for my 5 things this week!

Observations: Emotional Connections, Eclipses, Decisions

Wed, 08 Jul 2009 14:19:20 GMT

- I've been told ever since I figured out I'm an empath that to
deal with other people's anxieties and darker emotions, that I need to
shield, shield, shield. The stronger the attachment or emotion (whether
love, hate, anger, etc), the stronger the connection whereby I feel
someone else's emotions. I've been somewhat patronized over the past
few years by people telling me "Just shield, honey," or insultingly
showing me HOW to shield. I know how, thank you. The issue has always
been whether I WANT to. It's been worth it to me to have that kind of
connection with people I love. It's sort of an internal alert system
and at the same time, a comforting feeling of their presence always
around me. When I in the same room with the person, I'm not as aware of
the cords of connection as I am when the person is at a distance. The
connection in person can be beautifully strong and psychic but at a
distance, I become more aware of the energetic entanglement of our
cords. It's more an awareness of distance and maintaining that
connection whereas in person, it becomes more about proximity and
sharing. I've noted even with my children that I tend to dream of them
a lot when they are away from home and almost never when they're sharing
the house with me. So the issue has really been one of not wanting to
shield in regard to loved ones. I have shielded more than usual
recently to stay out of other people's drama, and the worse problem is
that it leaves me feeling disconnected. In a really bad way.

- Yesterday's eclipse was supposedly a weak one but I'm seeing
a lot of people having big issues, especially unstable people.
Especially. This gives me cause for concern because the 22 July eclipse
is the major-drama one and every nut case will be out in full force.
"Hairy eyeball time" as Obiwan calls it. This series of 3 eclipses
(normally we have only 2 at a time) is going to be very important, I
think. Often, big news/events/relationships arrives within 3 days of an
eclipse and I've had my share of that within about 30 hours of this 7
July eclipse, including news I've waited months for. It ain't over,
either! Among other things, my boss announced this morning that he's
staying because the hiring office at his new job couldn't get their act
together and wanted him to move to D.C. on faith while they set up his
new job. Er...no. Interesting to watch him take back control of his
life today and make that decision before my eyes. All of this has a big
effect on my office, of course.

- The Big Decision I made back last month has gone...I won't
say unnoticed but maybe "ignored." I have a feeling it will come up
again, to a degree, but I'm comfortable with where I'm going. I'm
trying not to expect flack on some of my related decisions and pull that
to me. The main objective is that I stay free to move around as I
please, not tie myself down to one specific path, and just have FUN.
That's where I need to be through 2010, at least.

Ahhhhh, So That's Why

Wed, 08 Jul 2009 13:19:33 GMT

It's interesting to note how certain things fall into place. I have
one particular manuscript I've been sitting on for a year now. This is
the one on "attracting back" old lovers and friends, based on several
experiences I've had with this. In the past year, I've added a couple
of chapters and then...nothing. The inertia has been thick. In spite
of attracting back a couple of men from my past, both intentionally and
unintentionally, and proving the techniques. It's just felt like I
couldn't quite yet get this into print or pdf.

But as of about midnight last night, the last piece of the puzzle has
fallen into place. I'm currently writing the last chapter, giving new
information I haven't before. I won't blog that chapter-it'll go
straight to the book. I think I can finish it now. At last!

Upbeat

Wed, 08 Jul 2009 01:12:43 GMT

After the first couple of hours of McTaggert's The Intention Experiment, it got a lot more interesting. It's all about different experiments related to electromagnetic and geomagnetic energy, quantum entanglement, retrocausal theory, etc. Lots more fun now! It's a 10-hour(?) audiobook and I'm down to the last hour. I'm in heaven, sheer heaven. Have so much to share on this.

Meanwhile, I've been putting some intentions out there to recoup some of the costs of house repairs. There are 5 or 6 different things in the works, all at once, that are bringing in a few hundred in cash here and there. Some lost stocks (actually, they were directed to my ex's work address and the company's never changed it or lost the change of address info or something. So I have the opp to cash in some old, old stock that's close to worthless these days (I refuse to look too deeply). But that'll go a long way to pay for the new well. Sold several old academic books on the site I posted about earlier. The 3 odd items I sold on ebay instead of throwing them away will pay for about 65% of the plumber's bill (not including the new toilet in the masterbath). Selling off the occasional other odds and ends, as well, and getting ready to dig out more old computer parts that seem to have a hidden market out there...esp overseas. Hmmmmm. By the time my tax refund appears, I should be doing just fine.

And Speaking of Extra Cash....

Tue, 07 Jul 2009 21:22:29 GMT

Thanks, Bev, for the tip. I've GOT to clear out my home library. Some of the books, I've already, er, assimilated for research for different novels or spiritual practices and know I won't be using anymore. And the kinds of things I read aren't generally appreciated by the local population.

In any case, check out http://tinyurl.com/msottt for a really easy way to get rid of your excess books and earn a little extra cash (to buy more books with, of course).

Extra Cash!

Tue, 07 Jul 2009 13:56:26 GMT

At Ramit's suggestion, I dug through an old box in the closet. It had
computer parts, old AV equipment, etc. Stuff I didn't want to throw out
because I'd paid well for them YEARS ago and yet they're mostly
obsolete. I picked out just 3 items that I'll never touch again and put
them on an auction site 4 days ago. All 3 sold early, last night around
midnight. The proceeds (not counting shipping & handling) come to $110,
which is a little more than half of the plumber's bill for dual visits
last month, due this week. Sweet. In my next decluttering, these items
would have gone to the landfill or to Goodwill because I'd thought they
were worthless.

This spurs me, most definitely, to put the rest of the stuff in the box
up for auction. Oh, and I started the bids at $.99 each, as suggested.

Productivity Catch-Up

Tue, 07 Jul 2009 03:28:01 GMT

I'd say I'm starting to hate my desk but I've been so busy that I've barely noticed. Busy in a good way. I said last night when I went to bed that the thing that would make this July 4th weekend better was to have another day at home. And voila! I woke sick to my stomach. As soon as I'd cleared it with Kristen (2 calls later) that I wasn't going in to work today, I started feeling better. Well, manifested that nicely, huh? I've been behind for weeks but the block broke loose and I'm pushing forward now with a lot of new projects and completing the old ones.

So lots of writing and web work today amidst listening to my iPod shuffle of Goth electronica, Celtic, and some 80's alternative, plus Braden and Chopra's An Ancient Magical Prayer, Dyer and Chopra's Creating Your World, and part of Lynne McTaggert's The Intention Experiment. I normally love McTaggert's work but something about this one bored me. Maybe because I already know her take on things as well as the subject. So back to some Egyptian drumming to finish the evening.

Here it is for the night:

Obviously the focus at the moment is on a handful of books. As I'm getting those set up, I'll go back and pick up all the others. I want to experiment with my own first. Some of this doesn't seem like much but it's the result of 5 pages (8*11.5) of to-do lists.

http://www.love-being-barefoot.com website
New article added on dangerous pedicures (Thanks for the help, Brian!)

http://www.spiritual-pagan-paranormal.com website
Several new articles added on astrology, eclipses, Saros 110, and meditations (see the blog page there for the latest)
Wrote new article, edited old ones
Book pages (with links) added
Ads created, added to pages
"Catalog" page created
Expanded links

http://www.life-strategies-to-go.com website
Wrote, added new article on the male submissive book
Added ads to most pages, referencing back to online bookstore
Re-load of 50 articles
Increased linkage

Still fixing formatting issues
Created ad
Created book page at http://www.spiritual-pagan-paranormal.com/100-and-more-ways-to-feed-the-body-and-soul.html

Pdf'd; working on kindle version
Created ad
Created book page at http://www.spiritual-pagan-paranormal.com/give-your-life-direction.html

Pdf'd; working on kindle version
Created ad
Created book page at http://www.spiritual-pagan-paranormal.com/working-through-grief.html

Pdf'd; kindled.
Created ad
Created book page at http://www.spiritual-pagan-paranormal.com/Spilled-Candy-Books.html

Pdf'd; working on kindle version
Created ad
Created book page at http://www.spiritual-pagan-paranormal.com/elements-of-fun.html

Pdf'd, kindled, printed
Highlighted in article
Updated book page at http://www.spiritual-pagan-paranormal.com/control-your-submissive-boy.html

Pdf'd, kindled
Updated book page at http://www.spiritual-pagan-paranormal.com/secret-to-being-happy.html

Pdf'd; kindled
Created ad
Created book page at http://www.spiritual-pagan-paranormal.com/A-Reverence-for-Trees.html

Editing.
Created ad
Created book page at http://www.spiritual-pagan-paranormal.com/attract-him-back.html

Plus, various house tasks and bookkeeping completed today.

And wondering about this song on my iPod shuffle right now that I thought I'd gotten rid of....One of Matt's songs about drugs, which is pretty interesting now, considering his secret life, the drugs, the arrests, etc. Time to call it a night. Definitely.

I definitely needed to see this on the screen--I wasn't feeling very productive until I did.

Gasp

Mon, 06 Jul 2009 17:24:14 GMT

I dreamed of Steve last night. I was having a big party and he came. His wife wasn't with him but there were lots of other people around, and he and I sat and talked for a while. I don't remember what about. He told a few amusing stories and was his usual friendly self.

They say the dead can hear your thoughts when you think of them. He's been on my mind a lot lately.

Where Things Stand (the Weekly Wrap-Up)

Sun, 05 Jul 2009 18:20:25 GMT

This has been an intense week for becoming unstuck and resolving a few situations that have been causing me a lot of pain and frustration.

Obiwan told me many weeks ago that the energy would shift last Wednesday and move me forward. It didn't. It began shifting on Thursday. In several areas. I'm in a much more peaceful place today than I have been in months.

The Highly Personal that I'll Separate out from Everything Else Here: I have not written specifically about it here (people who know me well--and even people who just think they do--will try to fill in the blanks, and all but Shannon will be wrong.) A great wrong was done to me last year by someone who swore never to do me harm. I do not under any circumstances believe that it was done intentionally. In fact, the person who did so much damage does not even know the consternation that resulted from such actions. I have been working diligently to undo this harm but I've hindered myself with periodic bouts of anger. My emotions have run the gamut, and have put me back consistently in the middle of all that harm so that I have not been able to undo this damage. Yes, my own underlying feelings of rage, guilt, shame, and hatred have prevented me from getting what I wanted. But it's even more complex than that. My understanding of the harm done to me has been intertwined with my misplaced sense of responsibility to someone I despise but who is also in harm's way. This week, I let go of that responsibility, and with it, shortly thereafter, I felt the anger that's been secretly ruling me fade and vanish. I am finally no longer living in the midst of harm and am being successful in undoing it. It's very odd to me that forgiving one person and not holding that person responsible is so closely tied to relinquishing my own sense of responsibility to other people.

Work: You gotta love karma. Ten years ago, a co-worker sabotaged my career to make himself look good. This week, it became abundantly clear to everyone else what kind of person he is, how much he pretends to know, and just how unqualified he is for his 6-figure job.

House: I have been continuing to work on cleaning out old spaces in the house, re-organizing, re-painting, re-nesting. A lot of things I've been trying to organize are finally starting to fall into place. (Now if I can keep it that way after Aislinn gets back from Ft. Lauderdale!)

Romance: Honestly, still too busy with other things to think much on boys right now. Maybe next week, though. However, I am again enjoying my Tarot Table (left). It's a huge gold-framed picture frame that sits atop two garden pedestals and looks like a coffee table. I made it a year ago, with Brian and girls hanging out in the family room and watching...what were we watching then?...on TV. The Tarot cards from different old decks are all my fav things I'm manifesting (and have manifested), especially in regard to romance and serenity. I got distracted last fall and started letting things pile up on the table. All that's been cleared off now and I just need to dust it. I love this though.

Friends: I reconnected on Facebook with several more old friends, including ones I'd thought lost to me forever or ones I parted company with under not-good-circumstances (one thought I stood her up at our last get-together when I was actually in the ER). It's interesting to see now how they saw me then, and for all the changes I've made in my life, even when I was very constrained and oppressed, I was still (apparently) someone they considered very interesting and intense. Odd to have people I knew in my childhood tell me that after 40 years of meeting people and travelling around the world, that I'm the most unqiue person they've ever known. Odder still, a boy I knew when I was 14 has been in contact with me. He was a few years older, popular, good-looking, adorable, brilliant. I was quite sure he didn't know I existed, but he sought me out to tell me I was the most unique person he knew in high school. Weird. There's a strange consistency to my life amid all these changes.

Spirituality: During this intense period of working through some old issues, I've been listening to physicists, Eastern philosophers, LOA gurus, and...amazingly...several preachers. I've gotten to such a high level of insight that I've been giddy at times. Listening to sermons put me right back into how I felt about things and heard about things and the language I grew up with in the church--language that didn't mean a whole lot because it was taught by rote rather than by feeling. This week, I've been able to connect my current spiritual beliefs with some of my early Christian beliefs in a way that Christians would understand. It's like studying a language and translating in your mind and suddenly being able to think in that other language. Not that Christians would necessarily appreciate this insight, but I'm seeing my childhood religion in a different light. I doubt they will understand my new understanding, but this is about me, not them. I feel like I've discovered the Rosetta stone.

Projects: My writing and publishing projects are moving forward again. A website security issue had me on hold for weeks, but it's gone and I'm getting things done! More on that soon!

Summary: Things are smoothing out and healing, and I'm moving into the place I want to be. Moving forward. Watching my desires come to fruition. I'm not where I want to be yet, but it's coming and it will be here shortly.

Conclusions

Sat, 04 Jul 2009 00:46:52 GMT

I've spent several days thinking heavily about what I owe someone. Or don't.

I have had the opportunity to do something that might very likely save the life of someone I loathe. However, any action on my part will not be appreciated, no matter what good might come of it. In fact, it probably would fall on deaf ears as I don't think it would be believed, either.

I have struggled with this for some time now but most heavily over the past month, and I've finally come to a place where I can release this struggle. I have been through a half-dozen spiritual-based audiobooks in the last week that have been of help and have had a couple of long conversations with Maggie and Sharyn, without going into too much detail with them on the situation.

My natural inclination has always to be responsible, even when it's not my responsibility. That's my co-dependency talking. That's me taking responsibility for others instead of letting them take care of it themselves. I am content that this situation has not been anything I caused and is not my responsibility. I have committed no harm in this situation. It is this person who created the harm. The struggle has been whether I allow this person to step forward in that harm without doing anything to remove that harm, whether or not I'd be successful in trying.

But I'm content now. I will no longer put restrictions on myself out of some kind of misplaced guilt for not preventing a possible death anymore than I will cry myself to sleep every night because some idiot out there will one day likely plow into a light pole if he insists on going 150 mph every time he hits the Interstate.

What happens, happens. This was attracted by someone else, and that someone must deal with the repercussions.

It is not my problem.

It is not my business.

And for whatever reason, I feel the right words to end this is "So mote it be."

The 5 Things Lorna Challenge -- 7/01/09

Wed, 01 Jul 2009 05:47:03 GMT

So, again this week. My little positivity exercise. Five things in my environment that delight me and why. Here goes:

I found this little ceramic pyramid at a garage sale in late 2004.   I didn't have much money then and to entertain the girls, I took them out one Saturday morning with about $5 and we bought all sorts of things. This one was $2 and I was so drawn to it. It contains a small tea light, and I use it exclusively as my "unconditional love" candle. When the lights are out in the house and the candle is burning, its casts lovely images onto the ceiling. The porcelain baby doll represents a special baby in my life and my prayers that all will be well.

There's something about this faucet that I really, really love. It's sorta different and everyone who uses the "powder room" (as my ex-m-i-l called it) comments on how much they like it. I find it odd, but I really like to see the flow of water (which you don't with most faucets). Maybe this reminds me of something from my childhood...like...I don't know...drinking from a water hose on the farm.

Rain!  OMG, rain on the patio! I love the smell of rain after a drought or during a heatwave.

This triangular china cabinet (hard to tell from this angle) belonged to my mother's mother.    When I was 6 and she was dying of cancer, I spent a lot of time in her house, crawling around and hiding under her dining room table and playing with my imaginary friends. I was very impressed, even then, with this particular piece of furniture. When Granddaddy passed in 1995, there were a few of pieces of furniture he'd promised to me--the cedar chest, Grandma's chair, and this cabinet. (Those are Shannon's teapots, btw.) They're all extremely sentimental to me.

I bought this chunk of rose quartz years ago and it's remained a personal favorite as well as a favorite of my house guests. Some swear they can see cities and maps in the quartz. We used to use it in heart-based energy work in 2005.   It's heavy, maybe 3 pounds. The necklaces draped over them are actually 1. a Swarovski crystal chakra circlet I wear in circle sometimes and 2. an amethyst necklace Leah gave me for Yule.

Monday, the Evening Edition

Tue, 30 Jun 2009 03:07:39 GMT

While cleaning the office, I'm currently listening to an audiobook on healing, belief, and quantum physics (the 3rd this weekend of Greg Braden's). This is a big focus for me right now because next time I go back to my OB/GYN in September, I want an all-clear and to know that nothing's amiss and that I'm completely healed. Dr T said she needed to give things time to make sure. I do NOT want to repeat that little procedure from March every 3 to 6 months. I've not had any more symptoms and have a general sense of 2nd chakra health for the past 2 months. Unlike October through April when I HURT inside all the time. I am not a fan of being sick and I don't understand people who enjoy being ill.

I finally got rid of the "antique microwave" today. My ex bought it in 1983, before we married. It still works but the fact that it's older than most of the men I date finally did it for me. Out it goes. I have a smaller microwave--not sure how or why my ex bought it--but it's not really big enough for anything other than Healthy Choice. A good decent alternative for a little while longer, though.

I've decided that July will be money-diet month. I'm embracing one of Tim F's "intentional poverty" ideas, like the ones where he does a money-fast one week a month. I have a full freezer, so minimum groceries should do it.

I'm also finding all sorts of old computer and AV equipment in my cleanout that I'm sure I won't be using again. Off it goes to ebay!

I'm not completely done with the 2-room cleanout but it's close. It's very Bohemian with lots of purple curtains and tapestries. I do most of my work here, so I want it to be pleasant.

Monday, the Morning Edition

Mon, 29 Jun 2009 15:10:13 GMT

I have the day off, so I'm spending it cleaning up in the office. The house is clean (except for the girls' rooms) and looks great, so I'm hitting the office, exercise area, and maybe even the guest room where Shannon has furniture stored. Ooooh, and maybe even the part of the master bath that Aislinn's taken over. I'm actually looking forward to spending a day of cleaning and cleaning out. It's a rarity for me to have this kind of time and be in the mood to clean.

I do have some errands to run--I've sold some things on eBay recently, and have more to sell. Amazing that people want old computer parts, but hey, I'm good with that, and I need it to pay off repair bills. In my cleanup, I'm finding other things I can sell and the little extras I need to sell them, like the accompanying instructions and CD's.

To make the day go more smoothly, I am listening to some great audiobooks on quantum physics. I know--I'm a geek. But I love this stuff. The first one today is on what happened at the end of the last Great Cycle (think Mayan) and how the people then actually put info out there so that future generations would know how to handle the end of a Great Cycle. Lots of talk about cycles and how these are just much bigger cycles than we're used to, but how Nature is all about cycles and how we can look at the smaller ones to understand the bigger ones. To tell you the truth, it makes me very excited to be living at the end of a Great Cycle and the beginning of the new one in 2012.

True!

Sun, 28 Jun 2009 18:59:57 GMT

Once something is joined, it remains energetically connected, the physicist says, whether it remains physically linked or not. Even though geographically separated, he says, we are still holographically there with the other half of what was once intimately joined. The two halves of what was once a whole still react to the same patterns of the other, still are part of the other's movements and still (in my words) feel each other's feelings. The deeper the connection when joined, the stronger that connection remains, regardless of what other universes they each travel to or how much time passes or how much space comes between the two. Space, after all, is not truly empty--space is what keeps things from happening all at once. (which is really the Law of Perpetual Unfulfillment)

I'm still waiting for the part where he talks about two things joining energetically for the first time when they are geographically apart. I know that that can happen, too. Of course--unified field theory, yes.

I love it when science explains empathy.

And yeah, I've had a force field around me recently so that might explain my sense of disconnection among all this connection.

Interesting...

Sun, 28 Jun 2009 18:41:27 GMT

What I've been referring to as "energetic connections" and "deep empathy" is what quantum physicists call "quantum entanglement."

A Small Measure of Peace

Sun, 28 Jun 2009 05:17:08 GMT

The hang-up calls to my house have ceased. I haven't gotten a single one in the past 10 days.

Where Things Stand (the Weekly Wrap-Up)

Sun, 28 Jun 2009 03:32:05 GMT

Overall: The predominant energy of this past week (or two) seems to be about wrapping up some unfinished business from the past. Old friends and family have re-appeared, people have returned to me to seek information I wouldn't/couldn't give them before, some postponed spiritual activities have now been completed, and things that were broken are now being repaired. After the 4k repair bill this week (for things that have been worked on for most of May and June like rewiring part of the house, the well, the plumbing, etc), I'm still staggering and insisting on moving into a different mindset: instead of "finishing old business," I'm as of now starting to focus on "everything's in perfect working order"!

The sprinkler system is now working again. I did lose a couple of plants in the drought and ongoing heatwave but discovered I really love this plant--the gaura flower, which is an ornamental grass aka the wand flower. It definitely gives the yard a 3-dimensional look and is very hardy.    The well-driller made a couple of unusual fixes that saved me $7-800. He also discovered that since my house was built in '88 (and I've been here since late '93), the new well is the 4th or 5th dug here. Unlike the others, he drilled past the top 30 feet to the hard pan and down into the next level of water, which is plentiful.   In all my time here, I've never seen the sprinkler system this forceful or this high. I'm very happy with the results.

After the well-driller left, we got the outdoor lights finished up, too. My corner of the cul-de-sac doesn't have a streetlamp or any lighting, so this really helps regarding security. I've wanted this for many, many years. I think it looks very inviting and I love seeing this when I drive up.

Lovely reunions: While on my travels this week, I had an absolutely wonderful reunion with my nephew, and met his wife and my nieces for the first time. I have tons of photos now! His kids remind me so much of my own girls at those ages. My nephew is a few years younger than I am, and he was sorta like a kid brother to me because he spent so much time at my house, especially during the summers. The last time I saw him was June 1995 before he moved away. Obiwan had told me in our last reading that two girls were going to be coming into my life and there would be a special relationship there. Most definitely. My world expanded a bit, sweetly, with this reunion, and I'm very grateful for it. This was a piece of unfinished business that was very, very welcome.

Spiritual Stuff: I'm pleased to have a new Initiate this week.   I love seeing people open up to the possibilities once they get outside of their old patterns and structures. I'm looking forward to our next gathering. Meanwhile, the paranormal activity in my house has been HIGH. As in, with sightings. It's probably a good thing I'm not "visual" or I'd never get any sleep.

Friends: I'm worried about a few friends. The spouse of one of my Initiates is quite ill.   A close friend is quite sick herself and really nothing can be done but wait it out. Another dear friend is gearing up for divorce proceedings. The wife is currently giving the guy his third chance, but she's meanwhile making legal plans. Though it's not officially over, she--and really no one else who knows them--doesn't have any faith that his temporary probation will last longer than a couple of weeks. He swears he can make it work, but we all know it's over for them. I'm "there" meanwhile for my friend. A close friend who has been super-supportive of me for the last year is going through a hard time right now and I'm trying to give back as much support as she has for me. Other friends who have been enduring a lot of relationship drama seem to be better this week, and I'm happy about that.

Boys: I've made no effort at all to meet anyone new for several weeks now. Just too busy with all the drama that's been dropped on my doorstep, plus the house repairs. I'd considered asking Todd over once or twice, but he's out west fixing fighter jets. I did get invited to join a singles group from work, but I'm unsure. If I do, it'll be more because I enjoy the friendship of some of the women in it. If I don't, it's because some of the women in it tend to be needy and despondent because they don't have a man in their lives all the time and need help meeting guys. There's also an assumption that I need help, too, which I found amusing. We already do a regular Girls Night Out that I really enjoy, but I'm not sure I'm in the same headspace as the single women who want to go sit in a meat market and cast doe-eyed looks at balding drunks. I'm just sayin'....

Work: Life at the office has been okay this week, mainly because of the type of work I've been doing. One of my customer groups is a sheer pleasure to work with. They welcome my advice instead of letting ego get in the way. And it shows in their work. I've also had a lot of autonomy in dealing with them this week rather than being chained to my desk. I can't say that the job was pleasant this week, necessarily, but much smoother than usual. We're still waiting for news of who our next boss will be.

Projects: Mostly on-hold due to trips and various issues. It's sort of a Knight of Pents kind of energy--stuck in mud, not moving very fast, but the work that's being done is truly going to be grounded and solid.

Whee

Fri, 26 Jun 2009 19:41:27 GMT

I am having an amazing day! Wonderful trip!

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

Waiting....

Thu, 25 Jun 2009 03:45:23 GMT

...to see if my trip's on for tomorrow.

The 5 Things Lorna Challenge -- 6/24/09

Wed, 24 Jun 2009 17:46:22 GMT

So. Five things in my environment that delight me and why. Here goes:

My athame (dagger, to most of you). I can't even remember where I got it from, but I hid it when I told my ex I was leaving him. I'd been warned that you never know how someone will react when that kind of thing is announced, so it was best to hide it. Funny thing. I couldn't find it for several years. Then one day, I opened a chest that I'd gone through many times, and it was right there on top. I have several swords and blades but this one has always been very special to me. It both makes me smile and fills me with awe when I see it on the Main Altar.

When I was in college, I collected unicorns. At the time, they were VERY hard to find. True to my nature, I lost interest after they became plentiful (maybe that's a case for Unicorn Season?). I had just a couple of little unicorn statues and such when I found this one across the street from my apartment in college at a pricey gift shop where I couldn't afford to shop. I think it was $14 and I got it for $7? It held a special place in my apartment and even in my first house. Later, when Shannon was a small tot of maybe a year old, she wanted to play with the stuffed unicorn. I squirmed a little at such a precious possession from the past getting drooled on but let her play with it anyway. It soon became as precious to her as her "dinosaur blanket" that she took everywhere. Over the next couple of years, the unicorn got dragged through every imaginable situation, drooled on, stepped on, slept with, chewed on. By the time Shannon was done with the stuffed animal, it was pretty ratty looking. I rescued it from her closet when she went off to college and it now has a seat of honor in the living room. Oh, and the unicorn's name? Rossi. Because Shannon tried to name him "Horse-y" but was too little to form the word correctly.

This is the thistle panel form the church rail in the foyer. I found the church rail, complete with a spot for hymnals on top (or Tarot cards or stones now) about 4 years ago in an antique shop. I had no idea where to put it but had to have it. It buzzed with a beautiful energy. The rail had been cut in half to transport it from a church in Los Angeles to Florida. Before that, it had been in a church in Scotland in the 1800's.

The walls of the dining room are now covered with wonderful, happy family photos. I picked frames of different kinds of wood and photos that were family-oriented and joyful, whether posed or just snapshots.

ADDED: I created this wall last November. I was going through a difficult time emotionally, had been physically ill, and was trying to divert my attention to anything else but not able to get out of the house much. You know how when you put your hands to work on mundane chores, your mind goes crazy with thinking about stuff? I didn't want that. So I downloaded the entire TWILIGHT audiobook series and listened to most of NEW MOON while I was working on this wall. I identified a little too closely with Bella, for a change, and actually liked NEW MOON best of the series, I think. It took me from the beginning of the book until after Bella leaps off a cliff for me to finish this room. Hence, I look at the wall and remember Shannon's comments to me about not jumping off a cliff if I felt like doing anything dangerous. It makes me smile now.

When I had the floors replaced in the kitchen, I put down tile I liked and used a specialty tile as borders to the kitchen/breakfast area. I'd had the specialty tiles in a bin in the garage for years before I was able to used them and loved the look. Later, when I had the backsplash done in the kitchen and the foyer retiled, I intermingled more of these tiles with the others to connect the look. Something about this little design really pleases me, but I've never been able to settle on what.

Visual Stimulation (as Amy says)

Wed, 24 Jun 2009 01:25:22 GMT

Okay, here's the finished product!  Hmmm, I still have some pics to put up in the breakfast area, but this is more about the kitchen this time. Enjoy! (Click on the pic for a larger view)

My iPhone camera really doesn't capture the glow of the yellow as beautifully as it should. The hidden fluorescent bulbs flare behind the wine bottles instead of glowing softly as they do off-camera. The yellow unexpectedly brings out the undertones in the green tile, countertops, and wood cabinets. Some of the counter clutter will be gone as I switch off the landline. Those are my oils and herbs in the bookshelf area.   I love the mix of stone, wood, and metal in the kitchen. Yep, that's bottles of mead on the counter. Awaiting someone special to help me enjoy them. BUT...it may be time to get rid of the antique microwave....

My new favorite incense! Rosa Mystica. Got this and the Honey incense at a Gathering earlier this year. We burn so much incense that we just keep it out on the counter now as decoration, LOL.

Roses and hydrangeas from my garden. One of my favorite things is growing my own flowers and enjoying them both outside and inside my home. I'm not really into Waterford crystal--these were left over from my life as a banker's wife--but I've re-purposed them so I feel good about them now.   The candy dish (biscuit jar?) is actually full of chewable vitamins, not candy. Though my guests are likely to wonder if those are big sweet tarts! (Leah did.)

A little Solstice love? I don't even remember where I got this now, but it really called to me--and said, hey, put me in your kitchen cuz I'll match your cabinets!