Superlegal Fun

Update

2012-10-01T05:47:00.000-07:00

Thank you everyone for your kind emails. I have had a crazy few months and have somewhat abandoned this blog for lack of time. This won't be a funny post (I'm in a bit of a hurry), but should be pretty unbelievable to some of you (so, it's worth a quick read).

Life at the office has been crazy! My litigation team is stable, but the rest of the office... well, the stories could be made into a docudrama. Seriously.

Here is a short run-down of events:

One of the attorneys (we'll call him BatCrazy) was having an office relationship with Psycho Paralegal. Psycho Paralegal quit recently. Since starting with the firm, BatCrazy was arrested many times, constantly missing court appearances and deadlines. (Did I mention he was also on meds/ drugs?) After a recent arrest, he ordered a gun online illegally "for a friend." The firm fired him. He broke into the office and went through unlocked computers and did unmentionable things in peoples' offices. And then he was arrested again (for other things). Then they took his keys. (Yep, breaking into the office is just taking it too far.)

With the unrest in the office, everyone is looking for other jobs and people are dropping like flies. They aren't hiring new people to fill in for the four people that left so far. So, everyone is running along smoothly (NOT!). It's only a matter of time before the firm crumbles. I am planning to stick it out myself right now. Hysteria breeds hysteria, so I won't join that party yet.

I hope everyone is doing well!

-Superlegal

Update: Perspective

2012-05-25T05:52:00.000-07:00

For those of you following my good friends, Adam and Gina Echols' story, I have a happy update for you! (Click here to read my earlier blog post about them.)

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Justice today may need tomorrow's perspective

2012-04-12T05:34:00.002-07:00

While I was doing a background check on someone, I came across this photo:

Discover Facebook, it's case law!

2012-04-09T07:00:00.006-07:00

A Pennsylvania court recently ruled that postings on Facebook pages are discoverable. The court ordered the plaintiff to provide their user name and password to allow production of posted information. Largent v. Reed, Case No. 2009-1823 (C.P. Franklin Nov. 8, 2011) includes an opinion from Judge Richard J. Walsh discussing social media electronic discovery.

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Update

2012-03-29T06:56:00.001-07:00

Thanks to everyone for continuing to read my blog, and for your emails. It's been months since my last post. I've had a lot of personal things going on, including the death of my father. I will be back to blogging soon, but need a little more time.

Sunrise

2012-01-12T05:53:00.000-08:00

Sometimes...

2012-01-09T05:28:00.001-08:00

Sometimes we have bad days.

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Quote of the Day

2012-01-04T05:17:00.007-08:00

Funny photo

2012-01-02T05:31:00.002-08:00

This photo has no legal relevance, but I thought it was funny enough to share...

Forgery is not an option

2011-12-29T05:34:00.004-08:00

The other day, one of the newby paralegals came to me and asked how to send something out. I noticed it wasn't drafted correctly, so I mentioned it to her and told her she would need to get the client to re-sign the document. She told me JD filled it out incorrectly. She told me that when she mentioned the mistakes to JD, he asked her to change the document and forge the client's signature. Paralegal refused and told JD he could forge it, but she wasn't going to. He got angry at her, yelled at her and she changed a couple things on the already signed document.
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Importance of mentorship

2011-12-27T05:18:00.003-08:00

I came to this profession with no experience, no idea about how the law worked, and no idea I was getting myself into a career. The road was bumpy along the way. I am so thankful that so many people along the way were willing to take their valuable time to mentor me and show me the ins and outs of the trade. I absolutely would not be where I am today without their help.

A Christmas Story, in legalese

2011-12-23T05:46:00.000-08:00

Whereas, on or about the night prior to Christmas, there did occur at a certain improved piece of real property (hereinafter “the House”) a general lack of stirring by all creatures therein, including, but not limited to a mouse.

A variety of foot apparel, e.g., stockings, socks, etc., had been affixed by and around the chimney in said House in the hope and/or belief that St. Nick a/k/a/ St. Nicholas a/k/a/ Santa Claus (hereinafter “Claus”) would arrive at sometime thereafter. The minor residents, i.e. the children, of the aforementioned House were located in their individual beds and were engaged in nocturnal hallucinations, i.e. dreams, wherein vision of confectionery treats, including, but not limited to, candies, nuts and/or sugar plums, did dance, cavort and otherwise appear in said dreams.

Whereupon the party of the first part (sometimes hereinafter referred to as (“I”), being the joint-owner in fee simple of the House with the party of the second part (hereinafter “Mamma”), and said Mamma had retired for a sustained period of sleep. (At such time, the parties were clad in various forms of headgear, e.g., kerchief and cap.

Suddenly, and without prior notice or warning, there did occur upon the unimproved real property adjacent and appurtenant to said House, i.e., the lawn, a certain disruption of unknown nature, cause and/or circumstance. The party of the first part did immediately rush to a window in the House to investigate the cause of such disturbance.

At that time, the party of the first part did observe, with some degree of wonder and/or disbelief, a miniature sleigh (hereinafter “the Vehicle”) being pulled and/or drawn very rapidly through the air by approximately eight (8) reindeer. The driver of the Vehicle appeared to be and in fact was, the previously referenced Claus.

Said Claus was providing specific direction, instruction and guidance to the approximately eight (8) reindeer and specifically identified the animal co-conspirators by name: Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen (hereinafter “the Deer”). (Upon information and belief, it is further asserted that an additional co- conspirator named “Rudolph” may have been involved.)

The party of the first part witnessed Claus, the Vehicle and the Deer intentionally and willfully trespass upon the roofs of several residences located adjacent to and in the vicinity of the House, and noted that the Vehicle was heavily laden with packages, toys and other items of unknown origin or nature. Suddenly, without prior invitation or permission, either express or implied, the Vehicle arrived at the House, and Claus entered said House via the chimney.
Said Claus was clad in a red fur suit, which was partially covered with residue from the chimney, and he carried a large sack containing a portion of the aforementioned packages, toys, and other unknown items. He was smoking what appeared to be tobacco in a small pipe in blatant violation of local ordinances and health regulations.

Claus did not speak, but immediately began to fill the stockings of the minor children, which hung adjacent to the chimney, with toys and other small gifts. (Said items did not, however, constitute “gifts” to said minor pursuant to the applicable provisions of the U.S. Tax Code.)

Upon completion of such task, Claus touched the side of his nose and flew, rose and/or ascended up the chimney of the House to the roof where the Vehicle and Deer waited and/or served as “lookouts.” Claus immediately departed for an unknown destination.

However, prior to the departure of the Vehicle, Deer and Claus from said House, the party of the first part did hear Claus state and/or exclaim: “Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!” Or words to that effect.

(*Not written by Superlegal)

Perspective

2011-12-19T22:06:00.001-08:00

I saw this picture recently and was so touched. What perspective we all lack at times! I have been one of those shoppers, I hate to admit. I am always stressed to the max, whether it be due to work load or my chaotic schedule. I stress out at the holidays because I may not get the perfect gift for someone, or I may not send enough Christmas cards, or I might not clean our house in time for the next holiday party. How ridiculous those stresses are when, half way around the world, another mom stresses about feeding her children, or a six year old orphan stresses about feeding his younger siblings.

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Evil Green Trial Monster in us all

2011-12-14T20:51:00.001-08:00

I have all newbies in my office. It sucks. I was recently assigned to oversee a newby paralegal on a trial. This was a one day trial. It was not a complex case. I probably could have prepped the trial in a half day or less. However, to a paralegal on her FIRST trial, this was a very big deal. I certainly recognize that, and wouldn't dream of minimizing the expected effort she so clearly required of herself.

We've all been there. You're excited to take on your first trial, but afraid because you have no idea what to do, in what order, or how to complete everything in time. At that time, out comes the Evil Green Trial Monster in us all. Usually, the EGTM is surrounded by people who understand what the EGTM is going through and stay clear of the EGTM's path until s/he returns to his/her normal cheery self. Unfortunately, that is not the case in my office. The newbies don't understand what an EGTM is and that it subsides post-trial. They all assume the EGTM is permanently mean and crazy and they have lost their friend forever to the fiery depths of legaldom, never to return. I can't tell you how many times the newbies ran to me expressing their concern for EGTM's mental sanity.

For those of you who are new out there, please understand that you will be an EGTM sooner or later. No matter how hard you resist, it will happen to you. The good part is that with experience, it will happen less and less. Eventually, your inner EGTM will only show its fangs during huge trials. (The bad part is that the more experience you get, the more big trials will be assigned to you, so it may seem like it happens to you equally as frequently.)

You should know that you are not alone in the battle against time. All paralegals deal with their inner EGTM from time to time. Some aren't self-aware enough to recognize it, some will warn you before you breathe on them wrong.

I will tell y'all what I told all the newbies who came to me to express their concern for their recent encounter with our recent sweet-paralegal-turned-EGTM:

Joke of the Day: To Comma or Not to Comma

2011-12-12T05:09:00.002-08:00

I am one of those people who LOVES to use commas. Commas are pretty much the best punctuation ever invented. Sometimes, I add a shortened clause just to use a comma. If I could, I would decorate with commas - everywhere. I would make art made only of commas. I dream about going to Comma (that's a special comma land I made up). If I could give commas for Christmas, you betcha I would. I think some things I write sound like Captain Kirk's speech.

People like me drive comma haters crazy. (It's mutual!) B-Dub is one such comma hater. (He is also a habitual run-on sentence offender, which also drives me crazy. Yep, he's one of those.)

Here's a recent conversation I had with Scooter (new secretary) about something he drafted:
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Inspirational Quote of the Day (and a quick story)

2011-12-08T05:12:00.000-08:00

Change starts with the brave one.
- Superlegal

Bullying

2011-12-05T05:20:00.000-08:00

Law firms have an interesting dynamic that I have never understood, quite frankly. Once the person with the focus of negativity in an office is gone, staffers (women in particular) pounce on their next target.

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Secretary update

2011-12-02T05:06:00.000-08:00

It has been an interesting few weeks. I've been up to my eyebrows at work (that's deeper than up to your eyeballs, you see). I've had a couple temp-to-hire secretaries and a decision was finally made to hire the latest one. He can't start full time for a while, but good help is always worth the wait.

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Happy Birthday to Me!

2011-11-30T07:18:00.001-08:00

Today is my birthday!! (As you can tell, I am not shy about telling the world!)

I haven't been posting much to my blog lately, but that should soon change. I've been training people and using my spare time to catch up on my real work. Once these people are trained, I expect I will be back to blogging. So, thanks for hanging in there with me.

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving!

Grammar and punctuation joke

2011-11-22T21:30:00.000-08:00

I ran across this joke the other day and thought it was too good not to share with all my favorite grammar geeks..

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SECRETARY WAS FIRED!

2011-11-18T05:50:00.004-08:00

A short while ago, I realized while I was screaming at my husband about Secretary X for over an hour (or at least it seemed that long to him), that Secretary's ridiculousness had to stop and that I was not going to take it anymore. I reached my boiling point. Life is way too short to deal with people with terrible attitudes who refuse to do work they are paid to do. I swear I felt like telling her to go live with the Occupy Wall Street folks down the street in their tents if she wants to soak up other people's money and make them angry while accomplishing nothing! Those are HER kind of people. Anyways, I digress...

So, the next day, I walked into the office, dropped my crap in my office and marched straight into B-Dub's office and told him I was done dealing with her crap!!! (No joke, just like that.) I told them that I was resigning and that I would stick around until they transitioned someone new into my spot. I didn't have a job lined-up, but I couldn't take it anymore.

Then, he called Associate in. I was happy he did because it saves me some time repeating the same crap he also needed to hear.

Then, I made a 45 minute impromptu exit interview speech, which included the following key points:
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10 tips to keep off the pounds during the holidays

2011-11-15T05:06:00.004-08:00

I think it's safe to say that we all want to be healthy. Some of us will put the effort in, and some won't. I find it especially hard to make good food choices at the office around the holidays because I am a sucker for sweets. It seems like vendors keep the break rooms supplied with petit fours and pastries aplenty. I really wish they would make healthier choices when gifting snacks.

We all should recognize, though, that healthy holiday treats are not in the cards (the holiday cards, that is). With sedentary desk jobs, you MUST defend yourself from those evil calories that attack your health and bring susceptibility to high cholesterol, diabetes and other scary health risks.

Here are some tips to stay healthy at the office during this time of the year without dieting:
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Happy Anniversary, Superlegal Fun!

2011-11-13T07:11:00.001-08:00

Today is the first anniversary of my first blog post and the launch of Superlegal Fun. Time sure has flown by! We've had some good times over the last year. Thank you all for reading, encouraging me, and listening to my crap.

I discovered the magical trick!

2011-11-10T05:10:00.001-08:00

The other day, B-Dub sent me an email and asked that I respond. The email discussed several things, including deposition scheduling, which is Secretary X's job. B-Dub is giving Secretary X less and less work now (I know why, but can't disclose the reason yet).

I went to Secretary and confirmed the deposition dates she scheduled the week before. She went on and on ... and ON ... about all the work she did to schedule the depositions. I'm not particularly sure what exactly is so difficult about giving direct, straight forward answers, but evidently it's too difficult to do. I think she believes that if she confuses people with her nonsensicle jibberish, she can easily get out of her ambiguous responses later on. Well, I just keep hounding her until she gives me a straight answer. She hates that (and, hey, if a little torture gets me what I need, I'm all for it).
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Things Secretary X refuses to do

2011-11-04T06:55:00.000-07:00

There are lots to choose from, but here are a few: