Well, it has been nearly six years since I’ve put down any words or recipes here. It’s not because there haven’t been words or recipes, there have been a million of each at least, but time just whizzes by like a too small sign on the side of a busy highway and before you know it you’re past 40 and you’re a whole different person (more on that later).

The short story is, we’re still eating and making space for connection around the table. It’s not always supper these days (and not always at the table), but more often than not it’s breakfast where we all find ourselves in the same room, eating mostly the same thing, together. We added an island to our already small kitchen and it has become the Grand Central Station of our home where any one of us (friends included) can pull up a stool and stay awhile, especially during the morning hours when all we can manage is getting ourselves to the kitchen where the coffee sits. Our dining room table has taken on a different role most of time, housing a giant puzzle, a chess board and a bowl of wooden puzzle pieces no one can figure out how to solve. Clearing, setting and dining at the table is still a thing from time to time, but we have migrated to a more casual way of eating together and it suits us and the moment we’re in. Someone throws a record on while I cook and the boys, especially Jack, our 7 (almost 8) year old, will help with the prep, if there is any. Turns out, he’s a whiz with a chef’s knife. Historically I have enjoyed an empty kitchen where I can be in the zone and disappear into the work of cooking, but recently it has been fun to share that space with the kids when they feel like jumping in or hanging out. I’m still working on letting my spouse help (or hang out), but that’s probably a topic for another therapy session.

Let’s get to pancakes, shall we? I don’t know how many pancake recipes exist in the world, but this one is my all time favorite. Marion Cunningham, in her wonderful way, wrote a small book in the 80’s called The Breakfast Book. In it you will find all manner of breakfast wizardry, including these pancakes, but you will also be given some very good advice. Below is an excerpt of her rules for dining with “civility and deportment.” Make these wholesome, snappy pancakes some morning and try them on for size.

Breakfast Table Civility and Deportment by Marion Cunningham

1. Clean up before you come to the breakfast table: wash your face and comb your hair.

2. You don't have to get dressed.

3. Clean fingernails, please.

4. Reading the newspaper at the table is permissible, but a pleasant word or salutation must be spoken to all present.

5. Sit up straight and try to be cheerful.

6. Talk to one another politely; talk and listen in turn.

7. Because everyone is defenseless at breakfast, there should be no contentiousness or crossness.

8. Don't ever mention food dislikes or criticize the food.

9. Don't lick your fingers or stuff your mouth with food.

10. Don't play with your food.

11. Don't talk with your mouth full.

12. Butter your bread one part at a time; don't put your uneaten pieces back in the bread basket.

13. And don't answer questions in a saucy manner.

14. Remember, guests always receive the choicest portions.

Whole Wheat Buttermilk Pancakes

from Marion Cunningham’s The Breakfast Book

Ingredients:

• 1 cup buttermilk, room temperature

• 1 egg, room temperature

• 3 tablespoons butter, melted and cooled slightly

• 1/2 cup whole wheat flour

• 1/4 cup all purpose flour

• 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt

• 1 teaspoon baking soda

Preparation:

1. Put the buttermilk, egg and melted butter in a mixing bowl. Whisk until the mixture is smooth and blended.

2. Stir the flour, salt and baking soda together in a small bowl until blended. Stir into the buttermilk mixture and mix only until all of the flour is moistened. Keep the lumps as Marion instructed—she knows best!

3. Heat a cast iron skillet or griddle to medium-low heat (this prevents the pancakes from burning before they can cook in the middle). Grease the pan with butter and add about a 1/4 to 1/3 cup of batter to the pan. I like to do one at a time in my 10” cast iron to make sure the shape is intact and the edges get nice and crispy. Although, this is a slow road to breakfast, so feel free to do as many at a time as you can manage, allowing at least a couple of inches between pancakes so you can flip ‘em when bubble start to form on the top. Cook for a few minutes more (Marion says briefly, which is about right) until golden and cooked through.

4. Serve with a warm pat of butter (not the cold slab I have pictured above) and a generous pour of maple syrup and don’t forget—no saucy talk at the table.

If you’re interested, and I hope you will be, here’s the record we put on while we ate these pancakes and sipped our coffee: John Lee Hooker, Travelin’. It’s a great blues record; just the thing we needed to get the blood flowing while the pancakes worked their magic.

Oh, hey there! It’s been a few years and some stuff has happened around here! I made another human and it was hard work, but he’s almost two and a half now and I think it probably takes about that much time to become human again. He’s got crazy curly hair, an epic side eye and has my love for salty, briny things. I’m getting him a jar of fancy green olives for Christmas, because I know he’ll really appreciate them. Basically, my food twin.

We’ve done a lot of cooking and eating the last few years (and boy is my waistline solid, er soft, proof of this) and are still learning how to use food to bring us around the table as a family every day. Dinner is still a sacred place where we all gather together around a shared meal. It’s not always (rarely) glamorous which means many cold bowls of cereal topped with questionable blueberries but sometimes I pull together a quick sheet pan dinner with vegetables that everyone eats! It’s the small things in life, y’all!

Whatever our meal will be, one thing is certain, it has to be quick to be successful. Between school, work and bedtime, there just isn’t much time to get dinner on the table, so I rely on quick recipes to get us to the table as fast as possible. In the summer and early fall, this tomato toast is a life saver. Besides being fast, you can make it with as little effort as popping a piece of crusty bread into the toaster. I like to pan fry the bread in a skillet, because, well it’s delicious, but a toaster would be a fine substitute!

A good loaf of bread and peak season tomatoes will make this dish sing. Get the best you can find!

Ingredients:

• 4 slices of good quality country bread, 1” thick

• 1 cup labneh

• 2 scallions, thinly sliced

• ½ cup cherry tomatoes (red or dark red), halved

• 2 medium heirloom tomatoes (red or dark red), thickly sliced

• ¾ tsp kosher salt

• 1 large garlic clove, peeled and sliced in half crosswise

• Olive oil for brushing bread and pan

• Pepper

• Large flake salt

Preparation:

1. Heat a cast iron skillet over high heat. Drizzle olive oil over bread slices, on both sides.

2. Rub the cut garlic (cut side down) over each side of the bread.

3. Working in batches, add the bread to the hot pan, being careful not to crowd the pieces. Toast until deeply browned, about 3 minutes. Flip over and turn the heat down to medium high. Toast until well charred. Set aside.

4. Mix together labneh, scallion and 3/4 tsp salt in a small bowl.

5. Spoon a heaping tablespoon of scallion labneh over each slice of bread. Top with slices of heirloom tomatoes and sprinkle cherry tomatoes over. Drizzle a bit of olive oil over tomatoes and top with flaky salt and freshly ground pepper.

Plans can be tricky. I really like to have them and I like to make them, but keeping them can be difficult. We’ve talked about menu plans which are notorious for needing flexibility. Things happen, people get tired, leftovers need to be consumed. I try to be open to change in our weekly menu and even build it in by having a free night or a night just for leftovers, however when we’ve got people coming to dinner, I really like to have a solid plan, which is to say, I need one to stay sane. Last weekend we had a flurry of visitors, all at the last minute which for me, is so much fun. I’m so happy that people feel like our house is a place where they can just drop in and crash for a night and they know they’ll be welcome. If you know me at all, you know that in these scenarios, I go a little overboard. I switch our toddlers room to a guest room (I set it up to function that way), I go into hyper clean mode and I always offer dinner. 

Deciding what to make for dinner guests can be a whole thing for me. I want to make something a little impressive, but not too difficult to execute and it needs to be something that won’t have me stuck in the kitchen all night (although, let’s be honest, with a toddler, those kinds of meals are basically a thing of the past). I usually give it a lot of thought, almost always falling back on some of the dishes I’ve made over and over like a roast chicken or lamb meatballs, but when it’s last minute, I’ve got to just make something. Sometimes, these end up being my favorite meals. Having to just use what I have and forcing myself to get creative sometimes pays off and occasionally it doesn’t. This time, I’m happy that it did. 

This lentil salad was my favorite dish from our meal this weekend. I had already roasted and marinated beets a few days prior so all I needed to do was cook some lentils. It ended up being beautiful and even better, delicious. The recipe will give you more beets than you need, but they’re so good you might just snack on them out of the container. Put them on salads, chop them fine and sprinkle them over toast slathered with ricotta or make the best veggie sandwich ever.

Note: The beets need to marinate overnight so you'll need to start this recipe a day ahead. 

black lentils with marinated beets + feta // serves 4

Ingredients: 

• 1 cup black lentils, picked over and rinsed
• 2 cups water
• 3 medium yellow beets
• 3 medium purple beets
• 2 shallots, minced
• olive oil 
• sherry vinegar 
• kosher salt and freshly ground pepper
• scant 1/4 cup thinly sliced red onion
• 6 ounces sheep’s milk feta, cut into 1/2” cubes
• 1/4 cup raw walnuts
• dill for garnish

Preparation: 

1. Pre-heat the oven to 350 degrees with a rack in the middle. Remove the green tops from the beets and scrub clean under cool water. Place the yellow beets in the middle of a sheet of foil, drizzle with olive oil and sprinkle with kosher salt. Wrap the foil up around the beets and secure at the top, making a packet. Repeat with the purple beets. Place the foil packets onto a sheet pan and roast for one hour. Remove the beets from the oven and let cool for about 5-10 minutes. Unwrap the packets and place each beet under cool water and rub off the skin. Set aside on a large cutting board, not letting the purple beets touch the yellow ones. You can use two separate cutting boards if you'd like. 
2. In a small bowl, add a 1/2 cup olive oil and 2 tablespoons sherry vinegar. Add the shallots and season liberally with salt and freshly ground pepper. 
3. Slice the beets into wedges and place in two separate air tight containers (otherwise the yellow beets will turn red). Divide the vinaigrette between the two containers and marinate overnight in the refrigerator. Let stand at room temperature for 30 minutes before using. 
4. Add the water and lentils to a medium saucepan and bring to a boil. Reduce the heat and bring to a low simmer. Cook until lentils are cooked but still have a bite to them, about 20 minutes. Drain the lentils if there is still water in the pot and season with a small glug of olive and a splash of vinegar. Season with salt and pepper to taste. 
5. While the lentils are cooking, toast the walnuts in a dry medium skillet over medium high heat for about 3-4 minutes. Be careful to not turn your back on them, they’ll burn quickly. Let cool and then chop coarsely or just break them apart with your hands. 
6. Divide the lentils among four bowls and top with both red and yellow beets. Add feta, red onion, sprinkle with walnuts and dill. Spoon over some of the vinaigrette left in the beet containers. 

My freezer needs some serious organizational help. It's full of half bags of frozen fruit, chocolate disks for melting or chopping and peas and corn for my little weirdo who likes to eat them frozen. I've got about 20 pounds of alternative whole grain flours to aid in my obsession for all things Kim Boyce and add to that mix ins and toppings like toasted millet, flax seeds and cocoa nibs and that equals one packed freezer. There's a lot of great stuff in there, but it's all such a mess, I can hardly tell what's in there at all. 

A few weeks ago, with the help of my much more fashionable friends, I created a capsule wardrobe (find out more here). The basic explanation is you whittle down your wardrobe to only 37 pieces for a particular season (just 3 months), including pants, tops, outerwear and shoes and you don't buy anything in that time. It sounds really restrictive, which is why I waited so long to do one, but as it turns out, it's incredibly freeing. Admittedly, fashion is something I'm interested in, but it's not the highest priority in my life. My closet is full of basics, most of which can be worn while chasing a toddler or cooking up a big batch of bolognese. It did get me thinking though about what I really need and how much of my house is full of just space fillers, particularly my kitchen (ahem... my freezer). I think the concept of the capsule wardrobe could apply to many parts of our lives. The bulk of the hoarding in my life is centered in the kitchen. Fancy vinegar, five different types of lentils, a spice cabinet that now has to be double stacked. I like the idea of having a few quality ingredients that I use often, with the infrequent exception of something fancy and less utilitarian. 

So, in an effort to start the process of narrowing down what I actually need, I decided I needed to start using what was actually in there. I had three ziplock bags full of perfectly black bananas, so I figured I'd just bake a whole bunch of stuff. I made a batch of banana cereal muffins (from Kim Boyce's book of course) and then a pair of banana breads with the addition of toasted millet, which I absolutely loved. It was nice to have a little more room in the freezer, although, the next day I made peach + yogurt popsicles which pretty much filled the vacant space. 

This recipe is from The Grand Central Baking Book. I can't say enough good things about this book. It's great for someone who is a proficient baker and it's great for someone just starting out. This recipe for banana bread is pretty straight forward and it produces exactly what you want in a banana bread. It's moist, tastes like banana and it has some crunch to it with the addition of the millet and course sugar. I do realize this is the second banana bread recipe I've shared with you, but I feel like I'm always looking for the best one. I'm pretty sure this one is it. 

banana bread with toasted millet // makes 2 loaves // adapted from this book

Ingredients: 

• 4 cups all purpose flour
• 1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 2 cups (14 ounces) granulated sugar
• 2/3 cup (5 fluid ounces) canola oil
• 2 1/2 cups (1 pound 4 ounces) banana puree (about 4 small bananas)
• 4 eggs
• 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
• 1 cup (8 fluid ounces) buttermilk
• 2 heaping tablespoons toasted millet
• course sugar

Preparation: 

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Lightly grease and flour two 9x5 inch loaf pans. 
2. Whisk together the flour, baking soda, baking powder and salt in a medium bowl. 
3. Using a stand mixer with a paddle attachment, beat the sugar, oil and banana puree on medium-high speed until the mixture is lighter in color, about 3 minutes. 
4. Crack the eggs into a liquid measuring cup, add the vanilla and whisk together. With the mixer on low speed, slowly pour in the eggs. Continue to mix until the eggs are fully incorporated. 
5. Add one-third of the dry ingredients and mix briefly on low speed, then add half of the buttermilk. Mix well and repeat, using half of the remaining dry ingredients and the rest of the buttermilk. Add the remaining dry ingredients and mix just until combined. 
6. Using a rubber spatula, scrape down the sides and bottom of the bowl and fold in the toasted millet, then divide the batter between the two pans. Top with a sprinkle of coarse sugar. 
7. Bake for 30 minutes, then rotate the pans and bake for 30 minutes more. Lower the temperature to 325, rotate again and bake for 30 minutes more. The loaves should be golden brown with cracked tops, and a skewer inserted in the center should come out clean. 

Keeping cool in California in the summer can be a little tricky sometimes. We've had several days of over 100 degree heat and no one functions well in those circumstances. I swore off wearing shorts years ago, but in the last three days, I've been wearing them nonstop because that's the closest I can get to running around naked. This week though, the heat confronted more than just my body issues, it questioned our parenting. 

Last Wednesday, the weather was mildly warm, not nearly as hot as it has been this week. Our house has air conditioning, thankfully, but even then, it's hard to keep our third floor condo cool even in temperate weather. We usually turn off the A/C at night and sleep just under sheets and little clothing. That night, Ollie was wearing more clothes than we would have normally dressed him in, but since the weather hadn't been too hot, we didn't think much about it. Around 2am he woke up crying, which is not totally unusual, but he seemed pretty upset. We went into his room and he was extremely hot. We stripped him to his diaper and brought him in bed with us. We took his temp and it was slightly higher than normal and with our 2am brains, decided to just try to get him back to sleep in bed with us. He seemed like he was calm but sleepy so we all dozed off. An hour later, I woke up to him seizing next to me. He was unresponsive, pale with blue lips and I thought he was dying. We called 911 and rushed out of the house with our lifeless toddler, hoping that intervention would save him. As we waited for the ambulance, he started to come out of his comatose state, crying periodically but still totally out of it. The ambulance deemed it unnecessary for them to transport him now that he was not seizing so we took him to the emergency room ourselves. The doctors told us he had a febrile seizure from a high temperature. His little brain couldn't regulate his body temperature, thus thrusting him into convulsions. It was by far the scariest moment as a parent to date and I hope that we don't have to experience that ever again. 

Thankfully, Ollie seems to be no worse from the wear, although we are completely traumatized. He's basically sleeping naked for the rest of his life and I will be forever obsessive about him staying cool. Three days of over 100 degree weather has not helped my cause much this week, so we are doing what we can to keep us cool (read: setting the A/C to 65 and not leaving the house). I'm hoping after this heat wave we'll be seeing fall approaching, but you never know in the sunshine state. We could be in the 80's well into Thanksgiving. Let's all hope for the quick arrival of sweater weather. 

I don't know a much better way to beat the heat than with popsicles. Peaches are perfect right now, so they seemed like an obvious choice, but you can use any ripe fruit you have on hand. Apricots, pluots, plums or nectarines would be an excellent choice. 

peach + yogurt popsicles // makes 10 // adapted from this recipe by gourmet

Ingredients: 

• 3 ripe peaches, about 1 pound, chopped
• 3/4 cup plain non-fat greek yogurt
• 1/2 cup granulated sugar (you could conceivably cut this down if your peaches are really ripe and sweet)
• 1 teaspoon fresh lemon juice
• 1/3 cup water
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

Preparation: 

Puree all ingredients with an 1/8 teaspoon salt in a blender until smooth. Pour into molds and freeze 30 minutes. Insert sticks, then freeze until firm, about 2 hours. 

Happy Friday! Not only is it Friday, it's the start to a long weekend! Those are the best Friday's. You've got three whole days of freedom. One last summer hurrah to eat all the grilled foods, wear flip flops and swim in the rivers. Pretty soon, it's going to be all pumpkin all the time so shove those tomatoes in your mouth, wear shorts and lay on the beach. There will be plenty of time to wear ugg's and sip pumpkin spiced lattes in the coming months.

I'll keep this post short because I know you've got lots of partying to do. I just wanted to make sure I shared these sandwiches with you before you fired up that grill, because they're pretty good and you might want to make 'em. We'll be keeping close to home this weekend, spending some time at the beach with my mom and sister, with these sandwiches in tow. Oliver is going to have to endure a lot of kisses and hugs this weekend. I sure hope he survives. 

Here's a quick recipe for asian bbq sandwiches for your last minute Labor Day weekend plans. To make these super simple, I use meat that is pre-marinated. My personal favorite is the bulgogi from Trader Joe's. 

asian bbq sandwiches // makes 4

Ingredients: 

• 4 soft rolls, sliced horizontally, almost all the way through
• 1 pound marinated Korean beef bulgogi (see note above)
• 1/4 cup sugar
• 1/4 cup distilled white vinegar
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 2 carrots, cut into fine matchsticks
• 1/4 cup mayonnaise mixed with 1/2- 1 teaspoon of Sriracha (depending on how spicy you want it)
• 1/4 of a small yellow onion, thinly sliced
• handful of cilantro leaves

Preparation: 

1. Heat a gas grill on high heat for 15 minutes. 
2. Meanwhile, stir together the sugar, vinegar and salt until fully dissolved. Add the carrots and let them sit until you're ready to use them. Drain before use. 
3. Mix together the mayonnaise and the Sriracha. Set aside. 
4. Cook the meat on the grill until nicely caramelized and cooked through, about 3 minutes on the first side and only a couple on the second or until done. 
5. To assemble the sandwiches, divide the mayonnaise mixture between the rolls and top with the meat (cutting into smaller pieces if needed to make it fit on the bread). Top with the carrots, onion and cilantro. 

This week we are heading to my home town in the mountains for a long weekend in a cabin with some dear friends. In the forest is where my soul finds rest, where I breathe the most comfortably and where I feel most like myself. We're going to spend a whole day swimming in the lake, jumping between the water and the trees and then as the day fades away, we'll look up in wonder at the blanket of stars. I'm looking forward to Oliver to spending more time in the woods where I learned how to be a kid and where I realized how small I really was in comparison to the glory of God's creation. 

My menu this week is just about as easy as it gets and abnormally short, too. We are leaving on Thursday morning, so I wanted our meals to be simple and easy enough for me to cook with my eyes closed. I have relied a lot on pre-marinated meat and quick cooking grains, making quick work in the evenings. I'll be cleaning, packing and doing some food prep for our trip, so an easy week will help me stay on track. I'll be sharing some of the late summer recipes I'll be bringing along this weekend later in the week, so stay tuned. 

What's on for your weekend? 

menu // august 24-26 // No book this week

Monday: Grilled bulgogi from Trader Joe's with pre-cooked brown rice and quick sautéed broccoli

Tuesday: Grilled Santa Maria Tri Tip from Trader Joe's with pan roasted potatoes and kale salad

Wednesday: Beef tacos (with left over tri tip), with avocado, red onion, cilantro and salsa verde with smashed pinto beans and rice

Thursday-Sunday: CABIN! Woot!

Menu making wasn't always fun for me. I spent a lot of time searching for recipes online or in magazines I subscribe to and it could take me hours to finally decide on the dishes I wanted to make for the week. It wasn't until my husband challenged me to use my cookbooks more often that the process became nearly efficient. Now, each week, my husband or my son pick a cookbook and I have to cook from it. I do have a little bit of veto power, but for the most part, I try to be a good sport and cook from whatever book they give me. It's a lot of fun to get everyone involved and it helps me narrow down the recipes I can use which keeps me on track. 

I'm excited to share this part of our process with you. This is the real stuff that I do to help myself get organized, making it easier to get dinner on the table most nights. I'm a little embarrassed by the menu this week because it's a little ridiculous and it looks like I'm making it up. I'm not. This is real life here. My husband chose an adventurous book and because I'm a first born and like following the rules, I'm going for it. I know not all of you have the time for this kind of menu, and I understand. Most people don't. Just do as I say and not as I do. 

Ironically, I'm going to tell you that the secret to successful menu planning is to make a menu that isn't too complicated and can be executed in a manageable amount of time. To save time on the day of, cook grains on Sunday and marinate meat in advance. As soon as you get home from the grocery store, wash and prep your vegetables so that they are easy to throw into a dish. No one wants to spend 20 minutes over the sink washing, stripping and drying kale after a long day at work when your stomach is about to eat itself. Don't make your menu too fancy and don't throw in too many new dishes in one week. The more you've made something, the faster you'll be so those old stand by recipes will be your BFF on the nights you have to get dinner on the table in a hurry. 

menu // august 16-22 // cookbook: plenty more by yotam ottolenghi

sunday: steamed eggplant with sesame + green onion / serve with sizzling oil greens (eggplant on pg 40)

monday: tomato + roasted lemon salad with bulgur/ serve with green salad (my addition) + panfried fish (salad on pg 54)

tuesday: beet, avocado + pea salad with roasted chicken + farro (beet salad on pg 65)

wednesday: free night (I use these nights for eating out, leftovers or pantry meals)

thursday: mango and curried chickpea salad with grilled chicken thighs (mango salad on pg 93)

friday: quinoa porridge with grilled tomatoes + garlic with grilled lemon shrimp (porridge on pg 101)

saturday: left overs!

We always start out the week with the best intentions. On Sunday night, I make a menu for the coming week and I write up a grocery list for Monday so I'm ready to do all the shopping. The process takes me (what feels like) all day. I'm easily distracted and have been known to fall down a pretty deep rabbit hole of recipe research. I'm also pretty picky. I want to make sure I have a menu I'm excited about, one that will be healthy as well as satisfying and will be tolerated by adult and toddler. It can be a little over the top and I should probably simplify my strategy, but somehow, I find joy in the long and sometimes grueling process.

I generally have a meal planned for every night and I use the leftovers for lunches and carry over for other recipes. A whole roasted chicken can turn into many meals, which is helpful because that really cuts down on the prep time for following meals. Lately, I have been leaving one night free for going out or for left overs. This gives me a chance to use up any ingredients I didn't end up using. These are the nights I rely on my pantry to give the left overs new life. A well stocked pantry and a little knowledge can put dinner on the table with little effort which is especially useful when your toddler is losing every ounce of composure and he needs to have a face full of pasta at that very second. It's basically a zoo around here. 

Feeding yourself, let alone your family can feel like a really big job. It takes time to plan, to cook, to clean and sometimes doesn't feel worth it, especially if cooking doesn't come easy for you. Some of that stress can be eleviated by learning some simple skills. Like being able to pull out a box of pasta and have a hearty meal for your family without thinking about it. In the next couple of weeks, I'll be launching some new categories, to help you get dinner on the table faster by learning how to use your pantry, knowing what foods go together and helping you with some time saving techniques and tips. Until then, throw together a big pot of pasta and start getting a feel for the kinds of meals you can make on the fly. If you're really wanting to dive into this process further, I'll be teaching a class on September 12th where I'll be teaching you how to become a pantry wizard. It's going to be a great time! We'll learn, eat and hopefully laugh a lot. I'd love to see you there!

 This is a pantry recipe, so if you don't have some of the ingredients, try to see if you have a substitute already before running out the store. If you don't have corn, but you've got some peas, use those instead. If you don't have zucchini, use yellow summer squash. Take a look at what's in your fridge and use what you think will work. Experimenting is the first step toward becoming a better cook. If you're stumped, leave a comment and I'll do my best to guide you. Happy cooking!

summery pantry pasta // serves 4

Ingredients: 

• 3/4 pound dried orecchiette
• 1 tablespoon kosher salt
• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• 1 tablespoon butter
• 2 cobs of corn, kernels cut off
• 1/2 large yellow onion, finely diced
• 1 tablespoon oregano
• 1 small zucchini, diced small
• 3 cloves garlic, minced
• 4 cups kale, stems removed and finely chopped
• freshly grated parmesan

Preparation: 

1. Fill a large pot 3/4 full of water. Add the kosher salt and bring to a rapid boil. Add the pasta and cook until al dente, about 8 minutes. Drain the pasta in a colander being sure to save 1/4 cup pasta water. Return the pasta to the pot and set aside. 
2. While the pasta cooks, heat the butter and olive oil over medium high heat in a large skillet until the butter is melted. Add the onion, corn and oregano with a pinch of kosher salt. Saute until the corn is almost cooked through, about 4-5 minutes. Add the zucchini, kale and garlic and cook until the kale is starting to wilt, about 3 minutes. Add the pasta to the skillet and toss well. Moisten with pasta water if the pasta starts to look a little dry, about a tablespoon at a time. Top with a generous amount of freshly grated parmesan and mix to combine. Divide among four bowls topping with extra parmesan, because, DUH, cheese. 

We just spent a crazy week in LA and although I've never really been fond of Southern California with all the traffic and horrendous heat in the summer months, I kind of fell in love with it. We stayed in Silver Lake for most of our trip, a hip neighborhood with a lot of great food. We made frequent trips to bakeries and got take out from the incredible Silver Lake Ramen. We never made coffee at home because there were so many great options close by. It was glorious. I'm now a believer. 

Wednesday morning we visited a place in the neighborhood called Sqirl. They serve grain bowls and sandwiches, along with pastries and tasty coffee. I ordered the sorrel pesto rice bowl with an egg and homemade sausage. It was the breakfast of my dreams. It was tart with preserved lemon and salty from a mound of sheep's milk feta, everything is then coated in luxurious egg yolk after you break into the poached egg.  I went back to get it again a couple days later and brought three more home for the rest of our crowd. I wish I lived next door and could eat it every day because I surely would. They are working on a cookbook and I'm praying that's in it, and if it is, ya'll are coming over for brunch. 

This barley salad is in no way related to the sorrel pesto bowl except that it's a hearty grain salad and it would benefit greatly from a runny egg placed on top. It's bright and its filling and I guess for now, it can stand in as a measly substitute for the real thing. 

summer barley salad // serves 6 as a side

Ingredients:

• 1 cup barley
• 3 cups water
• 1 medium zucchini, diced
• 1/4 red onion, diced small
• 2 cups lactinato kale, chopped fine
• 1/2 cup chopped flat leaf parsley
• 1/4 cup crumbled sheep's milk feta
• juice of half of a medium lemon
• 1/4 cup olive oil
• 1/2 tablespoon grainy mustard
• 1/2 tablespoon kosher salt
• freshly ground pepper

Preparation: 

1. In a medium sauce pan, bring the water and the barley to a boil. Cover and reduce the heat to a simmer. Cook until all the water is evaporated and the barley is cooked through, about 50-60 minutes. Remove from heat, keeping it covered and let cool 15 minutes. 
2. Using a 1 cup measuring cup, mix together the lemon juice, oil, mustard, salt and pepper. 
3. In a large bowl, combine the cooked barley, zucchini, red onion, kale, parsley and feta. Pour over the vinaigrette and mix to combine. 
4. If you've got an egg around, fry it up, keeping the yolk soft and throw it on top. 

I own a ridiculous amount of cookbooks. If somehow the internet ceased to exist, I would have enough recipes on hand to cook three meals a day for the rest of my life. Many of these cookbooks are used for reading and inspiration rather than recipe following. There are a lot of people out there who know a lot about this cooking stuff, and I want to know what they know. 

There are books that I do use for their recipes and these are mostly baking books. Cooking can be a bit fluid. A little of this, a little of that and it's more than likely going to turn out just fine, but baking is a little more finicky. You've got to pay attention to the way the ingredients work together, making sure they interact properly, giving you the desired result. I have three or four books that I turn to often, with one in particular that has kind of grabbed a hold of me. Because of this book, 75% of my freezer is packed with alternative flours like amaranth and dark rye. I have corn flour and barley flour and two bags of oat flour. While it may sound like I'm stocking up for a gluten-free baking extravaganza, I'm actually just really into Kim Boyce's book, Good to the Grain. I had made the oatmeal sandwich bread from her book many times, and I absolutely love it (that reminds me, I need to start a batch this afternoon), though I never really made anything else out of the book, mostly because I didn't have the alternative flours she uses on hand. It wasn't until I visited her bakery, Bakeshop in Portland, that I started to hoard whole grain flours and couldn't wait to bake every single thing in that book. 

These whole wheat chocolate chip cookies are actually made with 100% whole wheat flour, not for the health benefits, but because the whole wheat flour adds a nuttiness and a chew that you don't get from all purpose flour. They're also huge, which I kind of like. When you want a cookie, eat a cookie. Because they're hefty, I think they would hold up pretty well with other mix-ins like walnuts (if you're that type of person). 

whole wheat chocolate chip cookies // makes 20 cookies

(very slightly) adapted from Good to the Grain 

Ingredients: 

Dry mix

• 3 cups whole wheat flour
• 1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 1/2 teaspoons kosher salt

Wet mix

• 8 ounces (2 sticks) cold unsalted butter, cut into 1/2 inch pieces
• 1 cup dark brown sugar
• 1 cup sugar
• 2 eggs
• 2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
• 8 ounces bittersweet chocolate, roughly chopped (I used bittersweet chocolate chips with excellent results)

Preparation: 

1. Place two racks in the upper and lower thirds of the oven and pre-heat to 350 F. Line two baking sheets with parchment paper or a silicone baking mat. 
2. Mix the dry ingredients in a large bowl. Set aside. 
3. Add the butter and sugars to the bowl of a standing mixer fitted with a paddle attachment. With the mixer on low speed, mix just until the butter and sugars are blended, about 2 minutes. Use a spatula to scrape down the sides of the bowl. Add the eggs one at a time, mixing until each is combined. Mix in the vanilla. Add the flour mixture to the bowl and blend on low speed until the flour is barely combined, about 30 seconds. Scrape down the sides and bottom of the bowl. 
4. Add the chocolate all at once to the batter. Mix on low speed until the chocolate is evenly combined. Use a spatula to scrape down the sides and bottom of the bowl. 
5. Scoop mounds of dough, about 3 tablespoons in size onto the baking sheet, leaving 3 inches between them, or about 6 to a sheet. 
6. Bake the cookies for 16-20 minutes, rotating the pans halfway through, until the cookies are evenly dark brown. Transfer the cookies, still on the parchment, to the counter to cool, and repeat with the remaining dough. These cookies are best warm, but will keep in an airtight container for up to 3 days. You can also wrap the cookies in plastic wrap and then place in a zip top bag for up to 2 weeks. 

Sometimes what we think we want isn't what we want at all. If you know me, you know that it's a rare occasion when I'm content with anything, really. The thing I've learned about always chasing something though, is that once you get it, you rarely get a do over. You go for it, you get it and then, well, you have it. I somehow got lucky and got a do over. I thought that going back to work full time was something I probably wanted. I worked hard to convince myself that it would be good for everyone. I ignored the small nagging feelings that maybe it was too soon or that I really did love being home with Ollie. I pushed them aside to make room for the feelings of excitement over something new and the glimmer of more money. It helped that I was returning to a job I knew I loved with people that I had missed dearly and while I did, in fact, love my job, it turned out, I loved my old one more. I desperately missed the adventure of chasing a toddler, the flexibility of a loose schedule and the order I was able to bring to our home during the day.

I lasted five months as a full time working mom. It was a difficult time of intricate balance, which I never really got right. I barely cooked and spent a ton of money on having someone else cook for us. I gained 10 pounds while I tried to desperately hang on to the merry-go-round that was our life. I stopped working out and the couple of hours a day I saw my son were spent trying to build train tracks while simultaneously folding laundry. It was a bit of disaster and I wasn't doing any of it well. 

Fast forward three months and while I still have those 10 pounds to lose, balance has been restored to our lives. The thing I thought I wanted was not the thing I wanted at all. However, had I never gone back to work, I don't think I would have been able to fully appreciate what a privilege it is to be at home. When my toddler refuses to wear clothes and takes (what feels like) three hours to get out the door, privilege can seem a little far off, but I know that's what this is. I know it because I've seen the alternative and I'm so grateful for that perspective. So I'll take the naked tantrums, the incessant "no's!" and the very selective hearing any day. 

Being able to cook again has been one of the great benefits of being home. There was a lot of take out there for awhile, which for someone who likes to cook, felt pretty depressing. The kitchen is therapy to me, it's creative and it's the perfect way for me to take some time for myself. When my husband comes home from a long work day and scoops up our little boy to go play train conductor under our duvet, I slip into the kitchen, put on my favorite Spotify playlist and immerse myself into the work. In there, I'm really me. I can be covered in flour with no makeup on and the pastry doesn't care. My nails can be in desperate need of attention and the kale doesn't make a peep. I'm in my happy place, made even more joyful by the giggles and the sound of a train whistle coming from the next room. 

This salad is a dish I have been making a lot this summer. It takes on different personalities depending on what is in my fridge, but there are a few elements that are always there. Chopped lactinato (aka dino) kale is consistently the base of this dish because I tend to like the texture of it more than the curly variety while avocado adds a creamy contrast to the fibrous greens and a handful of cooked grains I batched in the beginning of the week add a punch of substance. You can riff on the rest based on what's in your fridge. Something crunchy like fennel or cucumber is great and beans bulk up the protein content and will certainly hold you over until your next meal. 

Chopped kale salad with lemon tahini dressing // serves 4 as a side or 2 as a main

Ingredients: 

For salad

• 1 large head lactinato kale, rinsed + dried with ribs removed, chop finely
• 1/2 can chickpeas, drained and rinsed
• 1/2 cup thinly sliced fennel
• 1/2 cup cooked grains (such as quinoa, barley, farro or bulgur)
• 1 avocado, diced
• 1/4 cup finely diced red onion
• 2 oz sheep's milk feta, cubed

For dressing

• 1/2 cup olive oil
• 1 tablespoon tahini (sesame paste)
• 1 tablespoon kosher salt
• juice of 1 lemon

Preparation: 

Combine all of the salad ingredients in a large bowl and toss well. Pour over 4 tablespoons of the dressing and continue to toss until the dressing has generously coated the greens, adding more if necessary. Reserve the rest of the dressing for another use. 

I'm on vacation from work this week. The freedom feels so familiar and comforting. I've been a full time working mom for a little over two months now and it seems to be getting harder rather than easier. I anticipated this phenomenon, knowing that there would be a recognizable honeymoon phase. The first couple of months happened to be our busy season so there was little time to think, which was a huge blessing. I spent a lot of time catching up with all the co-workers I had missed so much and the rest of the time getting re-acclimated to the working world. My son was sick for the first three weeks I was back thanks to all of those super fun kid germs at daycare. He had the flu first, which both Jon and I caught and then he suffered from a cold for a couple of weeks which he passed along to me, but spared Jon the excitement. They say that sharing is caring. It was a rough first month. 

I love my job. Taking care of people is something that is woven into the fabric of my being. This is probably why I love to feed people so much. Giving keeps me going and makes me feel like myself.

Working outside of the house has some distinct advantages. No one follows me to the bathroom when I have to go. I can get through an entire conversation with another adult without a toddler trying to pull my pants down or yelling for me to push him around in a tiny wooden tray. My lunch hour has an incredible amount of possibilities and I can come and go as I please within that hour. Money is nice. Not depleting our savings is pretty great as is the ability to buy things we want, but in this moment, those all feel a little dim in the light of that almost two year old with whom I'm so smitten. 

We went to the zoo yesterday and shared a blueberry muffin and a croissant at a favorite cafe in San Francisco. When we had our fill of giraffes and gorillas, we went to visit a friend in our old neighborhood. Oliver played with toys and balloons and I caught up with a dear friend. It was a perfect day. I cried at the end of it when I hugged him in the kitchen as he laughed hysterically at my fake sneezes. I miss him. There's no way around it. I know a lot of women do this and they get through it, even enjoy it. I'm hoping that I'll get there soon. 

Everyone needs a great banana bread recipe in their repertoire. This one is a little unconventional but pays off in the end. You can store the loaf in an airtight container at room temperature for a couple days but I like to put mine in the fridge because I'm a weirdo and I like cold cake. You'll lose the crispy crunch on top of the cake when you store it, so try to eat as much as you can on the day it's baked. 

banana almond bread

makes one loaf

adapted from this recipe

Ingredients: 

• 1 3/4 cups flour
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon sea salt
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1/8 teaspoon ground ginger
• 1/8 teaspoon ground cloves
• 1/8 teaspoon freshly ground nutmeg
• 1 cup packed brown sugar, divided
• 2 eggs
• 1/2 cup greek yogurt
• 3 ripe bananas, divided
• 1/2 cup vegetable oil
• 1/3 cup sliced almonds
• turbinado sugar (also known as raw or coarse sugar)

Preparation: 

1. Grease a 9x5x4 loaf pan with butter or non-stick spray and pre-heat the oven to 350 degrees with a rack in the middle. 
2. Combine the flour, baking soda, salt and spices in a large bowl. 
3. In a medium bowl, using a hand held mixer, beat the eggs and 3/4 cup of the brown sugar until light and fluffy, about 2 minutes. Add 1 banana, the yogurt and a 1/4 cup of brown sugar and beat until well combined, with just a few lumps remaining. Add the oil and blend to combine. 
4. Coarsely mash the remaining two bananas with a fork and fold into the wet ingredients. 
5. Dump the wet ingredients into the dry ones and toss in the almonds. Mix with a wooden spoon until just combined, being careful not to over mix the batter. 
6. Pour the batter into the prepared loaf pan and sprinkle the top with sugar. Bake in the center of the oven until a toothpick stuck in the center comes out with just a few moist crumbs, about 45 minutes to 1 hour. 

This morning was our sons first day of daycare. I have prepared for this moment for weeks, running it over and over again in my head. I have made lists and plans and will have more things to do in the next two weeks before starting work than I can realistically accomplish. As an extra precaution, I asked my husband to go to breakfast with me after the drop off this morning so that I'd have something to look forward to while I did my best not to sob uncontrollably. We went to a new bagel shop and talked about how the morning went and if we should just bite the bullet and let him go full time this week instead of doing half days like we had planned. After the bagels, we popped next door to our favorite donut shop to share a donut, just because we could (and because I was eating my feelings). 

Transitions can be rough for me. I love to think about change and dream about what could be, but often when we get right down to it, I usually wish things could stay the same forever because I'm never really sure. This morning I certainly felt that. I was ready to throw in the towel on all of this change and call it a day. Thankfully, my husband is rock solid. He makes decisions based on logic (what is that?!) and therefore rarely regrets a decision. He also realizes that right now I'm going through all of the emotions of a major life change and eventually I'll get through it and join him on solid ground. Like the fact that I thought I was going to paint the entire kitchen, including the walls and cabinets, all by myself in the next two weeks. Oh, and go on vacation in the middle of it, too. Haha! I'm really trying to put a band aid on how I feel right now. (Does anyone have a donut?!)

At the end of the day, I showed up to get Oliver from daycare and I stood there for 15 minutes while he played, not even aware of the fact that I had arrived to get him. When he finally did notice me, he gave me a little nod and kept right on playing. Of course, I expected him to come running to me with tears in his eyes, wanting to cling to his mama, but I'm so grateful that he didn't, showing me that he was perfectly happy where we have placed him. That is the best scenario I could have hoped for. Tomorrow, we are going to pull off the band aid and let him stay all day. I'm planning on dropping him off and heading to San Francisco instead of painting the kitchen. I'll sit in my favorite cafe and enjoy a cup of coffee without disruption and I'll be so thankful to know that he's not missing me. 

With the combination all of these life changes and the cooler weather, I've been in a comfort food routine for a few weeks. Last Sunday, I was a good wife and made pot roast. I took my mothers advice and doubled the recipe so I was left with a whole lot of roast and no plan. Well, where there is no plan, there is a buttery pastry waiting to be filled. I roasted some potatoes and squash with some cozy herbs and wrapped it up in a wheat pastry. This might be the best way to eat leftovers. I now want to put everything in pie dough. 

When you find yourself with some leftovers, you've got to give this a try. If you don't have leftover meat, or you're a vegetarian, sautéed mushrooms would make an excellent stand in, but use 5 cups of sliced mushrooms and then sauté. You'll lose a lot of volume by cooking them. If you don't want to make the pastry, a store bought one would certainly make this a quick meal, and don't we all need extra time in the day. 

beef hand pies (or the best way to eat leftovers)

makes 8 hand held pies

Ingredients: 

For the pastry dough

• 1 teaspoon salt
• 2/3 cup very cold water
• 2 cups, plus 2 tablespoons all purpose flour
• 1 cup whole wheat flour
• 1 cup, plus 5 tablespoons unsalted butter, very cold, cut into 1 inch cubes (keep cold until needed)

For the filling

• 3 cups left over cooked meat (like pot roast or roasted chicken), cut into 1 inch pieces
• 1 small butternut squash, peeled, seeded and cut into 1/2" cubes
• 5 small red potatoes, cut into 1/2" cubes
• 1/2 large yellow onion, diced small
• 1 tablespoon fresh thyme leaves (from about 12 stems)
• 1 tablespoon fresh sage, minced (about 8 small leaves)
• 1/2 tablespoon kosher salt
• freshly ground pepper
• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 1 cup finely shredded parmesan

Egg wash

• 1 egg, lightly beaten
• 1 tablespoon water

Preparation: 

1. Mix the salt into the water until dissolved and keep cold until needed. 
2. Add both flours to the bowl of a food processor and add butter. Pulse until the butter is the size of peas. Add the water and pulse until the dough is just starting to hold together and is starting to look a little damp. Pour the contents out of the bowl onto a lightly floured surface. Divide the dough in half and gently bring one half together into a 5" disk. Repeat with remaining half. Cover with plastic wrap, add to a ziplock bag and refrigerate for at least two hours or overnight. 
3. When the dough is chilling, pre-heat the oven to 400 degrees. Toss the potatoes, butternut squash, onion, thyme and sage in olive oil. Arrange the vegetables in a single layer on a rimmed baking sheet and sprinkle with salt and freshly ground pepper. Roast until very tender and starting to brown, about 45 minutes. Set aside to cool. 
4. Line two rimmed baking sheets with a silicone mat or parchment paper.
5. On a lightly floured surface, roll out one of the disks to about a 1/4" thick. Keep the other disk in the fridge to keep cold. Cut out 6" (or close to it) diameter circles using a bowl or cake pan, or free hand it! You can see above that my circles were pretty wonky, so don't be too worried about how perfect they are. You should get about four per pastry disk. Re-roll the pie dough only once to use up the scraps. 
6. On one half of each piece of dough, add a scant 1/4 cup vegetables and 4-6 pieces of meat. Add a decent sprinkle of parmesan cheese and fold the top half over. Crimp the edges with a fork to seal and transfer to the baking sheet. Place the sheet into the freezer while you make the other pies, adding each one to the freezer as you finish them. 
7. Brush the tops of the pies with egg wash and cut 1/2" slits into the top of the pies to vent.
8. Bake on the top third and lower third rack of the oven at 400 degrees until golden and cooked through, about 22 minutes. Rotate pans halfway through to ensure even cooking. 

One of the things I have enjoyed the most about being home with my family for the past year and a half is our breakfasts together. Our daily schedule has become like muscle memory to us by now, always starting with a little voice in the next room babbling about choo choos or "bubbie buh" which is his word for Bubble Guppies, his favorite cartoon. Jon and I usually roll over at the first peep, hoping it's a false alarm, but when he starts kicking the wall (undoubtedly annoying our new neighbors downstairs), we jump up and rescue him from his crib. A diaper is changed, a milk smoothie is made and the french press is poured while we all settle in on the couch to watch an episode of "bubbie buh". Our apartment doesn't see much morning sun, which creates a gentle environment to ease us into the day ahead, and the coffee gives us the jolt we need to get going. After the cartoons, we switch on the news, Jon hits the shower and Ollie and I make breakfast. Usually eggs, often with greens or squash with cheese, piled on top of buttered sourdough toast. We all sit down together at the table most mornings and Oliver makes our hearts swell when he puts out his hands to remind us to pray. After thanking the Lord for His goodness to us, we eat and we laugh, mostly at Oliver and then daddy leaves for work and Ollie and I go about our day. 

In just a few short weeks, I'll be returning to work full time. While I have missed the working world and look forward to joining it again, this decision was a hard one to make, with the obvious consideration of my son and the life we have come to enjoy so much. It's overwhelming at times to think about all the changes we will go through and all the adjustments we will have to accommodate. Only knowing life as a stay-at-home mom, I can't quite wrap my head around what our lives will look like in a few short weeks. My hope is that we will adapt with joy and marvel at all the new opportunities we have been given, though I must be honest, today I'm feeling like I'm going to desperately miss my son. 

I'm hoping our breakfasts will still be a part of our morning, even if they're slightly abbreviated. These savory oats definitely could be on the menu, especially if I make a big batch on Monday morning and just reheat them the rest of the week, only needing to cook a quick egg. I love that these take a savory turn as too much sugar in the morning generally doesn't do me any favors. They're a good way to start your day and could easily carry you through to lunch. 

savory oatmeal with a poached egg

serves four

Ingredients: 

• 2 cups water
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1 cup quick cooking steel cut oats (I love Bob's Red Mill)
• 1 teaspoon hot sauce (plus more for garnish)
• 1/4 teaspoon cumin
• 1/4 teaspoon smoked paprika
• 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
• sprinkle of freshly ground pepper
• 4 eggs
• 1/4 red onion, diced
• 1/4 cilantro, chopped

Preparation: 

1. Bring water and salt to a boil and add the oats. Decrease the heat to low and cover. Cook for 5-7 minutes, stirring occasionally. Remove the pot from the heat and let it sit for two minutes. Transfer the oats to medium bowl and add the hot sauce, cumin, smoked paprika, kosher salt and fresh ground pepper. Stir to combine and cover with foil. 
2. In a clean sauce pan, bowl 4 cups of water and then reduce to a gentle simmer (you should see small bubbles coming up from the bottom, but nothing more aggressive than that). Crack an egg into a small bowl or cup. Swirl the water with a wooden spoon and slide the egg into the middle of the swirl. This allows the whites to wrap around the yolk in a little package. It may still look a little messy, but thats ok. Set a timer for 2 minutes. Remove the egg from the water with either a slotted spoon or a spider strainer. Transfer to a plate. Trim and wild bits of egg white. Repeat with remaining eggs. 
3. To plate, divide the oats among four bowls and top with an egg, onion, cilantro and a splash of hot sauce. Sprinkle with a touch of salt and pepper. 

One of the most exciting parts of having a family is creating traditions together. My late step-mom was tradition crazy. She never missed a beat. Every holiday was a huge to do and our birthdays were no exception. For every birthday we shared with her, she stayed up late the night before and quietly decorated the house so we would wake up to streamers and huge "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" signs while we stumbled through the house to the shower. Most likely by her suggestion, on the morning of our birthday, my dad would take each of us out to breakfast, just him and the birthday girl, for the $1.99 Denny's Grand Slam. It was really special. 

My dad's birthday was last week and to celebrate him, I made a pot of his famous beans. It felt appropriate, on his birthday, to offer a little homage to a time that seemed a lot less complicated for him than life is now. When we were kids, coming home to the smell of his beans in the crockpot was the absolute best. Nothing could beat a big bowl of smoky, savory beans with gobs of cheese and cornbread. Plus, that meant dad was making dinner instead of our step-mom. She was beautiful but a terrible cook.

I'd like to make it a tradition to make a batch of beans on my dad's birthday every year, to honor him and to re-live those meals we had together so long ago, with our TV trays, watching Andy Griffith, slurping up every last bean. I will enjoy telling Oliver about his grandpa over a warm bowl, laughing at all the crazy things my dad has told me over the years. Like the time he convinced a friend of mine who had come over for dinner, that our goat was going to be the main course. She about died, and so did I. He's a funny guy, that dad of mine. Those stories make it feel as though we aren't so far apart after all, especially when paired with a piping hot bowl of his beans. 

My beans are slightly different than my dad's version, but the essence is still there. I add herbs and lots of pepper, his are a bit more subtle. They're simple, really, but taste complex thanks to the long cooking time. I will often add rosemary and occasionally double the meat.

Feel free to garnish these the way you'd like. I took pictures of three different ways to eat them. I prefer cheese and sliced onion on top while dunking my cornbread into the salty broth. My dad always does cheese, diced onion and crumbles the cornbread over the top. Feel free to go whichever way you'd like. There isn't a bad way to do it really, it's all a matter of taste. 

For left over beans, I love to puree them and use them as "refried" beans. They're amazing in burritos. 

slow cooker beans with smoked pork

serves 10

Ingredients: 

• 1 pound dried pinto beans
• chicken stock (about 6-9 cups)
• 1 large yellow onion, quartered
• 4 large garlic cloves, quartered
• 1 rounded tablespoon dried thyme
• 1/4 cup butter (half of a stick)
• 1-2 pounds smoked ham hock (bone in)
• salt and freshly ground pepper

Garnish: 

• 1/2 yellow onion, diced or sliced, however you like it
• 2 cups shredded cheddar
• cornbread, cut into individual servings, or cubed, or crumbled

Preparation: 

1. In a large bowl, add the dried beans and cover with cool water to at least three inches over the beans. Let them soak over night. If you forgot, or you don't have time to do an overnight soak, add the dried beans to a large pot and cover with cool water to at least three inches over the top of the beans. Bring to a boil and then take the pot off the heat and cover with a lid. Let the beans sit in the hot water, off heat for an hour. Continue with the recipe. 
2. Drain the beans and rinse thoroughly. Add them to a 6 quart slow cooker and add enough chicken broth to cover the beans by at least an inch. Add the onion, garlic, thyme, butter and pork. Season with a generously with salt and pepper (at least a few large pinches). 
3. Cook on high for 4-5 hours or low for 7-8 hours, until the beans are tender and creamy, but not falling apart. 
4. With a fork, break up the pork and remove the bone. Divide among 10 bowls and garnish with onion, cheese and cornbread, if making. 

Note: these beans freeze wonderfully. This recipe makes a lot, so feel free to pack them up into an airtight container and freezer for up to one month. You can do that with the cornbread, too. Instant meal!

I married my exact opposite. I know they say that's a thing, that opposites attract. It really doesn't make much sense to me since it seems more likely that two people who are similar would be more suited for one another. I'm a spender and he's frugal. I love getting gifts and he thinks that me not spending money on a gift for him is a great gift. He can think about what shoes to buy for a week and I've ordered two pair by the time you finish this sentence. He is patient and I'm impulsive. He can't remember a darn thing and I can't seem to forget anything. He's a staunch republican and I'm somewhere in the middle, leaning left. There are days I wonder what on earth drew us to one another. Honestly, it's hard to tell sometimes. 

We have been married for almost 6 years and now share our lives with an amazing toddler. Being parents has changed our relationship a lot. Like most parents, our focus is no longer primarily on ourselves, but on the little human we made. That has changed the dynamic of our marriage more than I expected, making it necessary to put forth a whole lot of extra effort to keep it afloat. It seemed easy to stay close when we could do what we wanted whenever we chose to. Now, we have to plan and arrange and think way ahead. 

It might sound like I'm unhappy in my marriage, and you might be right, though not in the way you think. Certainly, there have been times (or weeks or months) where I've been unhappy with my husband and my marriage, but if marriage has taught me anything at all, it's that this thing is not all about me. I find it so easy to blame any unhappiness I feel on my husband. He doesn't take me out enough or he isn't listening well enough or he doesn't do the dishes enough. What I have come to learn is that any of those things may be true, but the real problem is not what he is or isn't doing, it's that I'm trying to balance all of my happiness and fulfillment on his shoulders. That's a burden my husband was never meant to carry. This marriage thing wasn't intended to make me happy and to fulfill those young girl dreams of being in a state of bliss at all times. That sounds harsh, I know. We want marriage to make us happy and fulfill all our needs, it's just not meant to. If all goes well, those things can certainly be a byproduct, but it's not the cure for those things nor should our marriages be the only place we search for them.

As far as I can tell, marriage is supposed to make us better. It's supposed to cause us to grow, to draw nearer and go deeper. Those places are messy and those places are really hard, but that is where you will find growth and redemption. Marriage points us to the One who made it, who showed it to us in it's truest form, on the cross. Marriage really is death. It's death to selfishness. That is such a hard lesson to learn. Every day I'm reminded of how selfish I am and the rest of my life won't be enough time to rid me of it. If anything, I feel more selfish now than I did when we were first married. It's a wonderful blessing that I have such a patient and gracious person for a spouse because I'm hoping that in another 6 years from now, I've moved at least an inch in the right direction. No doubt we will have weathered some storms together by that time and with great success I hope, with the breath to tell the story. 

(note: if you're going through a rough patch, please reach out to someone. Whether it's a friend or family member, talk it through. If you don't have anyone you feel you can talk to, send me an email. I'd love to talk it through with you. This marriage thing is really hard, let's do it well together.) 

Since I've started writing this blog, my marriage seems like it's healthier. I can only attribute the success to our commitment to eating dinner together, free from distractions. I look forward to the time we get to connect with one another. It's a really special time for us and has allowed us to feel closer to one another. So, make your spouse some tacos, put the phones away and talk. It will make a difference, even if a slow one. 

butternut squash tacos

serves 4

Ingredients: 

• 1 small butternut squash, peeled, seeded and cut into 1/2" pieces
• 1/2 tablespoon smoked paprika
• 1/2 tablespoon cumin
• 1/2 tablespoon kosher salt
• a couple pinches freshly ground pepper
• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 1 ripe avocado
• 1/4 large red onion, sliced thinly
• 1/2 cup crumbled feta
• 1/2 cup mayonnaise
• 1 teaspoon Tapatio (or more if you want more heat) 
• 1 cup of cilantro leaves, torn
• 8 small corn tortillas 

Preparation: 

1. Heat the oven to 375 degrees and line a large baking sheet with foil. Set aside. 
2. Toss the butternut squash with the paprika, cumin, salt, pepper and oil. Spread it out evenly on the foil lined baking sheet and bake until well browned, about 45 minutes to an hour. Shake the pan to toss the squash a couple times during the cooking time. 
3. Meanwhile, mix the mayonnaise with the Tapatio and set aside. (I realize mayonnaise on tacos sounds pretty weird, but it just adds a little bit of a cool and creamy. It's delicious, but feel free to use sour cream or leave it out completely!)
4. When the squash is done, heat a skillet over medium high heat and quickly heat up the tortillas. 
5. To assemble, place two tortillas on each of four plates. Spread a dollop of spicy mayo on each tortilla, topping with a handful of squash, a sprinkle of avocado and onion. Top with some cilantro and feta. Add a sprinkle of freshly ground pepper and a dash of Tapatio if you'd like a little more spice.

Note: if you have extra squash left over (you likely will) you can toss it into a salad for lunch the next day, or put it in a scramble for breakfast with a little goat cheese. You can also make these portable frittatas and swap out the sweet potato for the butternut squash. 

We are a bit spoiled living so close to San Francisco. We could eat every meal of every day at a new place and never reach the last restaurant. There are iconic steakhouses, out of this world oysters harvested right out of the bay and arguably the best bakeries in the state. The Mission, an uber hip neighborhood in the sunny part of the city, is home to a whole bunch of the best eateries in the city. Our church is located in the Mission which could be a coincidence, but it's entirely possible we chose the church we attend based on the quality and quantity of food options for after church brunching. Not really, it's an amazing community of the best people (but really though, the foooooood).

About a block from the front steps of our church is a little bakery called Tartine. It's a San Francisco staple. People line up 45 minutes before they even open the doors in hopes of getting a piping hot ham and cheese croissant and to snag a tiny table on which to enjoy said croissant with a cup of strong coffee. It's a small place but what they lack in space they make up in sugary carbs or flaky carbs with cheese or just straight carbs in the form of a loaf of bread that weighs more than a newborn human baby. The place is magical really. 

I try to hold myself back from going there every single Sunday. That takes a lot of self discipline, of which I am seriously deficient. The last time we went I had one of their buttermilk scones with currants. I already had eaten my ham and cheese croissant, but what could a little bit of scone hurt? Well, it was absolutely delicious, which caught me off guard because I was thinking I would just give it a taste, expecting just a normal, mostly boring scone. I mean, I'm comparing this to a ham and cheese croissant, a scone can't compare, right? Really wrong. The scone was awesome and we at the whole thing. AFTER we both ate a ham and cheese croissant. See why I can't go there every Sunday? 

If I thought that going to Tartine every Sunday was a bad idea, baking an entire batch of scones probably isn't the most brilliant idea either. Sure, I threw some whole wheat flour in there, but there's also butter and chocolate and they're drenched in a sugar and butter coating. Yep. Good thing my husband doesn't mind taking these types of things to work with him. 

I like this riff on Tartine's currant scones. The chocolate makes these a real treat and the tartness of the cherry balances things out. They aren't as airy as the original version on account of the whole wheat flour, but I like that they feel substantial. I cut these into wedges and after the fact, I really wished I had just cut them into squares or rectangles with a sharp knife. Feel free to do that if you'd like, I think it would be easier to get even sized scones. I'll do that next time. 

cherry, chocolate + almond scones

makes 12

adapted from Tartine

Ingredients: 

• 2 cups whole wheat flour
• 2 3/4 cups all purpose flour
• 1 tablespoon baking powder
• 3/4 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 cup granulated sugar (plus more for dusting)
• 1 1/4 teaspoon kosher salt
• 1 cup plus 1 tablespoon unsalted butter, very cold and cut into 1/2" cubes
• 1 1/2 cups buttermilk, cold
• 1 teaspoon orange zest
• 3/4 cup dried cherries
• 3/4 cup dark chocolate pieces (or chips)
• 3/4 cup sliced almonds
• 2 tablespoons butter, melted and cooled slightly

Preparation: 

1. Pre-heat the oven to 400 degrees. Line a sheet pan with a silicone baking mat or parchment paper. 
2. In the bowl of a stand mixer (or a large bowl if mixing by hand), sift both flours, baking powder, baking soda, sugar and salt. Attach the paddle to the mixer and spread the butter over the flour mixture. Turn the mixer onto low and break down the butter until it is the size of peas and the mixture looks more like wet sand. If you're mixing by hand, use a pastry blender or your fingers to break up the butter, working quickly to keep from heating the butter too much. 
3. Add the orange zest, buttermilk, dried cherries, chocolate and almonds all at once. Mix until just combined. The mixture will be moist. 
4. Turn the dough out onto a lightly floured surface and press into a rectangle that is 18" by 5" and about 1 1/2" thick. Cut into 12 triangles. Brush with melted butter and top with a generous amount of sugar. Bake until golden brown, about 25-30 minutes. Serve immediately. 

This first week of fall has been gloriously fall like. The mornings are cool, warranting a sweatshirt and slippers and the days have been a bit gloomy, even giving way to some refreshing rain. The mantle has been aglow with candles and the slow cooker has endured a few good workouts, turning out some of the most comfy food I can think of. It was just what the doctor ordered for this slightly stressed mama. Nothing beats sweats and comfort food when you're not at your best, amiright? 

As I believe I've mentioned, we are wading through some heavy decisions in our house. Dinner time has been such a haven for us as we take the time to sit down together, eat something good and talk it all out. Tonight, our conversation was particularly heavy and as my husband and I were going back and forth, Oliver, covered from head to toe in tomato sauce, was making sure we clapped every time he used his fork to spear his pasta and successfully made it into his mouth. He is such a reminder to me that while this time made be difficult, there is so much joy in it. The hard times can sometimes feel so hard and I often feel like I can be so short sighted without the ability to see the big picture. This little boy is so helpful for putting things into perspective. 

Early in the week I found myself up to my ears in cherry tomatoes and since I was already on a comfort food kick, I decided that roasting them is the coziest way I know to treat a tomato. I used a few in a warm lentil salad I made from Yotam Ottolenghi's Plenty and the rest were packed away in the fridge awaiting inspiration. This afternoon, once the babe was sound asleep, I spent some time cooking up a deeply rich puttanesca that ended up being an incredibly satisfying way to end the week. The sauce is quite thick and coats the pasta perfectly, hanging on tightly even when a toddler is attempting to shovel it in his mouth. 

roasted tomato puttanesca 

makes 6 cups, enough for 2 pounds of pasta

Ingredients: 

• 4 pounds cherry tomatoes, halved
• 2 tablespoons fresh thyme leaves
• 4 tablespoons olive oil, divided
• 1 tablespoon kosher salt, divided
• 4 large cloves garlic, sliced
• 1/2 large yellow onion, diced
• 1/2 tablespoon dried oregano
• 2 tablespoons capers
• 1/2 cup water
• 1 tablespoon dill, chopped 

Preparation: 

1. Heat the oven to 265 degrees. Cover two sheet pans in foil, set aside. 
2. Toss cut tomatoes in 2 tablespoons olive oil, fresh thyme and 1/2 tablespoon kosher salt. Roast in the oven until starting to dry out, about an hour and a half. Transfer to a bowl. 
3. Heat remaining 2 tablespoons olive oil in a medium sauce pan over medium-high heat until glistening. Add garlic, onion, oregano and capers and cook until lightly browned, about 5-6 minutes. Add roasted tomatoes and water and bring to a simmer. Cook, uncovered for 30 minutes until reduced and thickened slightly. Puree the tomato sauce with a stick blender or in a counter top blender until smooth. Stir in the dill. 

To help you kick off the weekend a little early, here are a few of my favorite things this week. These will help you finish out the summer strong by eating well and looking good doing it. I'll see you in the fall! 

(click on the images to be directed to the place where you can buy it or make it)

1. Ridiculously delicious (and vegan!) mayo from a jar. It's just as good as homemade. Seriously. just mayo // hampton creek

2. Grilled avocado. Grapefruit. OH YUM. grapefruit chermoula with grilled avocado // bon appetite

3. These add the perfect touch of femininity without being overboard and they go with everything. I just might not ever take them out. bar studs // made well

4. Super comfy and a great fit. I'm never buying t-shirts from anyone else ever. Oh, and they have super transparent manufacturing practices. SO, pretty much perfect. cotton v in muted black // ever lane

5. We eat tofu every week and this has become our absolute favorite. It's perfect for scrambles or baked tofu and it's organic and HMO free, to boot. firm tofu // hodo soy 

6. THE BEST hazelnut milk and the perfect coffee creamer. hazelnut milk // oh she glows

7. We should probably knit this sweater. We can also have someone knit it for us, but we can totally handle this. vivienne cardigan// wool and the gang

8. I bet coffee tastes better in this beautiful mug. large camp mug // mazama wares 

9. I completely wore out my other Target sandals this summer so I think I'll have to replace them these and since winter doesn't come to California until January (if at all) I'll get some good use out of them before I need to wear boots. shauna huarache sandal // target

10. This cake is delicious AND it's gluten free with only two flours. Winning! I want to eat this for breakfast for the rest of the month. chocolate zucchini cake // edible perspective

Disclaimer: this post is not sponsored and all opinions are my own. I just really like this stuff.