Surveypalooza

16 Weird Temporary Boredom Cure Questions Survey

2022-06-29T18:41:00.002-05:00

Started April 2021.

From 16 Weird Temporary Boredom Cure Questions Survey (quizopolis.com)

I chose this one for the title, and I thought the first question was enough to go on. Guess we'll see what happens.

Do you believe in unicorns?

I think the latest buzz question is Do you believe in Pleiadians? Or this page might be better- Pleiadians - A Thorough Explanation (tokenrock.com)

In case your insomnia is severe and you need super deep distraction STAT, here's two things that might help.

The Best TV Shows About Aliens, Ranked by Votes (ranker.com)

people of earth - YouTube

Here's a sample if you're just sitting there wondering which one to click.

How many of you does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of us. Some of us might not be paying attention, but it still takes all of us.

Are you single?

I'm without fellowship on two different towns, but I seem to be holding my own ok.

Do you like pickles?

I tried a recipe for pickled eggs last week that really grossed me out, so emphatic NO on that one.

How do you feel about meadows?

I finally got a Stonehenge build but only managed to get 3 artifacts to upgrade it, and then I look over at Scott's game and his is leveled up to a 10 already, so now I'm sad and kind of ticked.

Have you heard of Flarp!?

Sadly, I've had full demonstrations of how necessary flarp is in our lives. I remember being jealous of kids who'd get more than one silly putty to play with, now kids can flarp themselves silly.

Ever flipped a turtle over?

Back over after a car sent it skidding around. Got back in my car, another car zoomed by just as the turtle stuck a toe back on the highway, and I watched it crunch in my rearview mirror. I never stopped to turn a turtle back over again. Scott is more sympathetic, he'll put the turtle into the car and drive it to safety first.

Do you like to doodle?

This is my favorite doodling.

How do you feel about long socks and chucks?

Nothing. I feel nothing.

Would you rather find a four leaf clover or a heads up penny?

This reminds me of a man I saw double masked in a store the other day giving me the stink eye for no mask. I'd say the superstition is about as strong with that one.

Ever squirted orange juice in your eye?

One morning I was frying bacon and it suddenly popped really hard right at my eye. Good thing I was wearing glasses.

Do you keep a journal/diary?

Ha, do I keep a journal... 😂😂😂😂😂 Blogs all over the internet, baby.

Do you play an instrument?

I'm getting better at playing like I care.

What is your favorite sound?

My coffee maker nearly done when it suddenly does those big bubble and hiss noises.

How many kisses on the lips have you given?

Probably far too many. Well, yeah, you know you have when someone blows a bubble with their bubblegum in your mouth.

What's your favorite ride at the amusement park?

I heard they removed it last year, after 30 years of it being there. I'd be sad, but I'm a crippled gun slinger now, trigger thumb probably getting surgery this year anyway. I'll always have the fond memories of being the best shot on the shootout ride.

So I can't believe I actually finished this and never posted it. Today is 6/29/22 and I just discovered that someone actually found this blog doing a search for "doing your homework without throwing up", was even more surprised to find out that is an actual book for a very real anxiety problem. I feel bad for you guys. I never cared enough about homework to actually get sick over it.

Anyway, gonna toss this out to the wind, sorry I never fixed all the html but there you go.

My Parents' Little Secrets!

2022-04-26T17:35:00.001-05:00

Originally from a private blog on March 30, 2008, posted publicly on November 26, 2015.

Lets Start With Me...

My Name Is:: I loathe my real name. It's so common that I regularly get my prescriptions, dry cleaning, doctor scheduling, and even my voter registration mixed up with at least 5 other "me's" in the area, and I could never publish under my real name because there are already 3 other people doing that. On top of that, I spent my childhood having the same name as my cousin, who was a couple of years older than me. Now, who in their right mind gives their child the same name as their sibling's child??? Good grief. So, I have made up my own name for myself. And guess what, it's so unique that

You can try this out at How Many of Me. And no, I'm not going to tell you what that name is because I don't want there to be two of me. Guess I'm a little paranoid about that now.

(Yes, we all know now there is only one Janika Banks because I have this posted in widgets on several blogs. Here on Pinky blog it's in the footer.)

Were You Planned or an Accident?: I was told, after I had my own child, that I was a surprise that cannon balled into existence right after my mom miscarried another child. That really gave me the willies, thinking that another child had died so I could live.

How old are you now?: Too old to run through a sprinkler shrieking with joy. That makes me sorta sad.

Were your parents married when you were conceived/born?: They have always been the most married people I have ever known. I can't even begin to explain how loaded that sentence is. Imagine a rebel Mennonite pseudo-science weirdo farmer and a scattered psycho-nut joining in holy matrimony. Nothing against my parents *ahem*, but that was one strange childhood.

Where do you live?: Next door to a really nice chicken.

Do you hate your parents right now?: I am appalled that you would even ask. Just kidding. No, it's kinda hard to hate old geezer people who honestly believe they are absolutely right about everything, no matter how ludicrous they sound in the face of modern science and the information age. It's funny how me getting older changes all that. I just hope I don't ever look like that to my own kids.

Do u get along with your parents right now?: I let Dad talk to me by the hour about the tribulation starting in the next 3 years. I kinda hope he gets to 'go' before then because he will be so extremely disappointed if it doesn't happen. He's been looking forward to the end of the world all his life. He's 78.

Are you expected to get good grades in school?: Dad was upset when I went to college, said I would be brainwashed. He could have cared less about my grades. My mom rarely even brought it up. I have no idea if she ever had any idea what I even studied.

What happens if you do/dont?: The higher the grades, the more I was being brainwashed.

Do you go to public places with your parents?: Not any more. I still don't know if I'd be able to hang out with Dad very long in Walmart without being embarrassed half to death to find us having a deep discussion about something politically incorrect that he might completely misconstrue and know terribly little about but of course he'd be absolutely right, and passers by would shoot looks at me. Last time I was with Mom in Walmart (after she started having the smaller strokes, before the big ones put her in the nursing home), she threw this weird little fit in the aisle with Nair removal stuff and scared a guy walking through, he practically scuttled away. It's kinda funny to think back on it now, but at the time it was a little unnerving. Kinda iced the ol' psycho mom through my childhood cake, only it turned into psycho gramma in Walmart. All the same, I always enjoyed going out to eat with them. Dad once picked his teeth with one of those long skewers from a sticker pot at a really nice Chinese restaurant. That was probably the closest those waiters had ever come to a genuine cowboy. I could tell we were being watched.

Have they ever embarassed you?: You mean before that when they were sorta saner and younger? Con-stant-ly. I did my best to embarrass my mom right back with subtle but odd mannerisms in public places.

Have you ever lied to your parents? If so.. About what?: It's an interesting bit of trivia that even though aspies are born feeling compelled to be truthful, I learned to lie to my own parents to survive, especially my mom. I'm a pretty good liar. It doesn't come naturally, and I don't like it, but I'm serious about the psycho-nut thing. As for Dad, sometimes you just have to get the guy to stop talking or change the subject. You can't imagine how exhausting it is to talk to someone who really truly believes that the overweight epidemic in this country is because people use too much lotion.

How often do you talk to your parents?: I cringe when Dad calls up and says "Here, talk to Mom" and then hands the phone to her. I challenge anyone on this earth to keep up a running dialogue for ten minutes straight with a parent who never before let you actually do the talking, when you know they are on the other end staring at a wall and don't remember who you are. Between that and Dad's latest obsession with public television channels being a complete and unchallenged source of world information that is severely lacking in UFO research nowadays, maybe about once a week.

Are your parents cool, or do they suck?: I've got everyone else's weirdo parents beat hands down. Give me some sunglasses and call me cool.

Do you ever start a fight between your parents?: If my parents were somewhat more normal, maybe we'd have had fights. Mostly it was just this mental thumb wrestling with aliens from other planets.

How many brothers/sisters do you have?: I was the oldest and totally displaced by each successive progeny (which other aspies also seem to take personally), so I refuse to count. It's ok, I'm over it now. *walking off without numbering them...*

Do they get more stuff than you?: The more I was displaced, the more attention and goodies the others got. But nowadays it's completely reversed, because I should be showing more support as the oldest child, but I live the furthest away and feel too yucky to get over there. So the others GIVE more of themselves than me. That feels strange.

Let’s get to know MOM & DAD a little better...

How old is MOM?: 67, far too young to be completely disabled and vegetablized in a nursing home.

How old is DAD?: He'll be 80 in a year and a half. No medications, doesn't believe in doctors. Has some pretty weird ideas. He thinks the reason he's NOT diabetic is because he lived with Mom so long and became immune. Yes, he believes diabetes is contagious, that's why so many people have it. He's the last of a dying breed...

Do your parents work? What do they do for a living?: Dad drives in to 'work' every day to eat lunch with Mom at the nursing home. All the employees there greet him like one of them. He has a shining reputation for being the only man who has come in every day to see his wife for the last 3 years, practically unheard of. The staff treat him like royalty.

Do they fight about money or anything else?: OH, man, they used to fight. The arguments over every jot and tittle of the bible were ~end~less~, even though they both agreed on 95% of it.

Does MOM hang out with friends?: Dad cruises her around in her geri chair and they 'do lunch'.

Does DAD hang out with friends?: After Mom goes back to bed, Dad chases down the visiting preacher to argue the finer points of Revelations.

Do either of your parents go to church?: I grew up with major debates over what the definition of church was, and whether 'going' to one was actually wrong since God's people are the church. Mom went, Dad didn't. That made Dad bad, and Mom made sure that got hammered into our heads. I think she was evil in a tormented soul kind of way, innocent in her mental illness, although I was the first to break the ice and suggest such once I hit my 30's. In the end, I decided that if the 'good' Christian tortured the 'bad' Christian with anger and accusations for not performing a faith correctly, the 'good' Christian was worse than the 'bad' one. Aspie logic. Whether either one sits on a pew with any regularity is rather irrelevant in that light.

Have either of your parents ever been to jail?: Been TO, or been IN? There is a big difference. They were never arrested for anything as far as I know.

Have you ever drank alcohol with your parents?: I used to drink narcotic cough syrup behind their backs. That's about as wild as it got with my parents.

Would you like to follow in either of your parents footsteps?: Let's see, psycho nut or rebel psuedo-science Mennonite. Tough one.

Have your parents ever taken drugs?: Mom lived on darvocet for awhile and nearly destroyed her nose with dristan. Dad accidentally drank gasoline once. Do those count?

Do they have other children?: Yes, I believe I confessed the problem I had with other siblings showing up in my life. Or this could quite possibly be referring to kids from other marriages...? I couldn't have been so lucky.

Have they ever lost you in the store? Or misplaced you?: This is TRUE. They deliberately walked away from me in grocery stores to see what I'd do, at several different ages. I can't tell you how devastating this is to a child with autism spectrum disorder. Dad wanted to 'experiment'. He wanted to train me to think. I eventually got the point, and I've been very careful to teach it directly to not only my own children, but others as well-- if you are lost, STAY PUT. The more you walk around, the harder it is for someone to find you. Now, how hard was it to just SAY it???

Have either of your parents been divorced or married before?: Nope, there was complete and utter lack of experience on both sides.

Do they complain and nag at you alot?: Not any more. Not sure if Dad's 'advice' should be listed here, though.

Do they support things that you are interested in?: Dad thinks making a chicken blog is crazy. Why in the world would I want to do ~that~??

Do they encourage you to follow your dreams?: See above...

Do you sometimes wish that they would divorce?: I used to *pray* for them to get divorced. Don't get the wrong idea, it never got violent or abusive between them, unless you count Mom throwing something once in awhile. I was just sick to death of the constant seesaw of Dad's really skewed 'logic' vs. Mom's emotional roller coaster.

Anything else you think your friends should know about your parents?: "They were humans once." HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! I got that from the last survey taker, but you don't know the story. Anyway, I guess after all that I should insert that I had a lot of fun around holidays growing up because Mom kept us busy stringing popcorn or decorating cookies or eggs. I wish it could have been like that all the time, although it was still just busy work, not really interaction on a personal level. And I think you should know that I am so surprised that Dad actually buys and eats pizza now, after all those years he spent growing his own fruits, veggies, and animals, and worked us half to death processing it all to eat on all year. That just cracks me up. It's so weird to even think about, a 78 year old Mennonite farmer eating pizza.

Mom’s weakness?: She really sucked at being a drama queen.

Dad’s weakness?: It never dawned on him that Mom was trying to be a drama queen.

Hmm, nice place to end... No strengths? Oh, well.

2021-05-26T11:47:00.000-05:00

From a private blog on Nov. 24, 2007.

This was created before I found out I had a very severe case of cytomegalovirus that took me down for month, and doing silly surveys is pretty much how I got through it. After reading this, you'll see why the idea of covid doesn't shake me.

Looking back over this survey, I can't tell if I'm being sarcastic and think it's funny or what. It's weird looking back on something and remember being in the moment, and then seeing it from outside the moment. I just know my pain level went to 50 (Princess Bride) several times this weekend.

1. What's one thing thats heavily weighing on your mind?
Day 4 on antibiotic: We've deteriorated to exploding into unstoppable coughing spasms within a minute or two of dozing off throughout the day and night, even sitting up. Robitussin for cough and cold suspiciously making it worse. Resultant fibro in neck up to skull and slamming headaches when I cough no longer responding to skelaxin. Full blown occipital neuralgia on top of it will soon be turning me into a slavering werewolf, despite the codeine. I'll try not to eat Scott when I morph over. If I suck on one more cough drop I'll have to kill Willy Wonka. Throat spray only helps when I miss and hit my eyeballs or nose or whatever. Glands still extremely tender, throat still sore. Scott wants me to go back to the doctor. Thus concludes my 9th day since onset. I'm ready for morphine. If this were 100 years ago, I'm pretty sure it would kill me, if I didn't run screaming into the woods first and plunge off a little cliff onto some rocks. I'm ready to drink the entire bottle of vanilla and then move on through the almond, mint, and orange flavorings. Don't laugh. A couple of those bottles are 80 and 90 proof.

2. What's one thing you've learned from a good friendship gone bad?
When you run into someone in a mall or library 5 years later, and you find out the email or phone number they swapped you isn't any good, you wonder why in the world did they act so happy to see you again in the first place.

3. What's one thing you've learned lately from love?
True and abiding love is not expecting your husband to sit up and baby you through # 1. True love is telling him not to feel guilty and to go on to bed. True love is realizing that two crabby people during a health care mess is not a fun ride, and that when the tables are turned, I'll want to go to bed, too. Oh, MAN, I'll want to go to bed. I've got several days of sleep to catch up on as he gets this coming on. He says his chest is hurting now... :edit later: He says now it was just heartburn. Go figure.

I just looked this up.

from http://www.csulb.edu/divisions/students2/shs/flu.htm

Should I Call My Doctor?

In most cases, you don't need to see your doctor when you have a cold or the flu. However, if you have any of the symptoms below, seek medical advice.

A cold that lasts for more than 10 days
Earache or drainage from your ear
Severe pain in your face or forehead
Temperature above 102° F
Shortness of breath
Hoarseness, sore throat or a cough that won't go away

I'd call that a big yes... I have the first 3 and the last one. Don't know what else a doctor can DO for me, except maybe tranquilize me.

4. Is there anyone special in your life in general at the moment?
Besides kleenex? My ears are starting up a jihad, so we need to get past this mushy stuff.

5. What's a happy time you've had in the past week or two?
Let's see... Ah, yes, the sweet nostalgia of rediscovering Vicks. It's worthless, actually.

6. Is there anything in your past that you'd like to try again?
Do you mean do it again now at this age? I'm not really getting any bites here. My brain is in the kitchen humming to itself. Last time I saw it, it was nestled in the paper pile by the blender.

7. Who do you like to spend most of your nights with?
I spend ~all~ of my nights with Scott. He keeps showing back up after work, and I keep making stuff for him to eat.

8. Are you an emotional person?
It's hard to tell. I went into total aspie freak out last night, which I haven't done in quite awhile, after a super nasty coughing fit in the middle of a dead sleep, and I was on the floor rocking and crying and flapping my hands and not making a lot of sense with Scott while I dealt with unbelievable pain. To other people, THAT looks like I'm terribly upset. To me, it's not actually feeling an emotion so much as being so overwhelmed that I lose control of my logic center and my brain scrambles for neurological feedback that it can hook into and get around the other stimulations. About ten minutes and I was ok. It was kind of odd because that was the first time Scott had actually seen me blow completely out after knowing me for 17 years. I held so much in while I was raising the kids because I didn't want to scare them or weird them out, because we didn't have a name for all that until quite lately, and I didn't know it was actually normal behavior for me. So actually, this is the first time as an adult that I've been able to get feedback on my behavior, and amazingly, Scott was real open and calm about it and didn't try to interrupt the process or snap me out of it. I asked him if he'd seen me do any of that before, because I usually don't notice when I do, and he said yes, in bits and snatches over the years when I'd get stressed, just not all at once before. I told him when I was a kid, Mom would shake me and yell at me to stop because it scared her, and I never understood what I was supposed to stop, exactly, so I learned to just don't move at all around her. I grew up being a really stiff person in school and church and everywhere because I was afraid to move and attract attention to myself, because my mom would freak out. Scott said he noticed that I am like that, like I'm really tense. And I was like yeah, if she'd just let me be weird and touch things and flap and rock and all that stuff, I'd easily be a happier person all my life, because that's just how I de-stress. It didn't bother him one bit. All these years I've been afraid to 'act out' in front of my own family, and he's fine with it. He couldn't believe how much that affected my whole life, having to feel like I couldn't even fidget in public and holding myself so still any time even one person walked into a room. I'm very different now since I found out I fit in a particular sort of normal. Much more relaxed. Funny how long it took to find out I'm really ok. Anyway, it's hard for me to tell sometimes if I'm being emotional or not when others might think I look like I am. I hold a lot of reactions back over simple things like misunderstandings and being surprised and stuff, and sometimes I go ahead and react and I seem angry and look angry, but I don't always feel angry or upset as much as just a little flustered.

9. Are you self conscious?
As per # 8, you would think I'm terribly self conscious, but I'm actually not very self aware at all. I know this sounds incredible, but there have been times I've actually forgotten I still have my pajamas on and caught myself putting my shoes on to go somewhere in the car. Even to church.

10. Do you think of others before yourself?
Constantly. It's kind of automatic after spending so many years feeding and cleaning up after other people and taking care of them when they're sick.

11. What's something that can always make you feel better?
I can't tell ya how badly I would love to have even just a two hour nap tonight that is blissfully uninterrupted.

12. Who was the last person you had a crush on?

There was a video here that has been deleted, and I don't have a clue what it was.

13. Where do you see yourself this time next year?
Good morning. I started this survey Thursday evening. This is now Friday. Day 5 has started off much better because I actually slept last night. Well, that sentence looks dang optimistic, so don't get the idea I'm cured. Let's just say at this point the whole werewolf thing is less likely now. As for next year, I don't know whether to hold my breath or just give up and laugh. I would so love to feel better than I have this year.

14. Do you tend to make relationships complicated?
I can jump into anyone's whining and quell any complications that arise, but thankfully, I really don't do that very much. Everything boils down to a few simple variables, and the reason they become complicated is because things get overlayed with stuff like guilt, pressure to conform or change, selfish whining or insecurities, making excuses for someone being abusive, stuff like that. When you strip away the passive aggression and learned helplessness, the path becomes clear. If you don't like the path, you just cover it back up and quit whining about it. Yes, as you can imagine, no one comes to me for advice. My children claw the walls to escape, and everyone else ran away screaming a long time ago. It's a peaceful existence, rarely being dragged into soap operas.

15. Who do you feel the most comfortable around?
Scott tolerates me amazingly well without question and helps steer me when I go a little too aspie, and I've come to I trust his judgment completely, so I hope the rest of our marriage is something he never regrets. I wouldn't trade him for any other guy on the planet.

16. Is there something that you're waiting for?
I'm trying to wait patiently to feel better. I slipped up a little yesterday and got kinda crabby and whiny. It's very challenging to act nice and sweet when you don't feel well.

17. One thing you're not looking forward to?
I've got a pile of dishes looking at me every time I walk through the kitchen. Normally that doesn't bother me, but I feel so crappy that I can barely keep up with the house at all lately. That really gets me down. Scott has decided that we ARE putting up a tree this year, a little one on the kitchen table to put in the bay window, so we've gotta clean off the table today, too. After 6 hours of sleep for the first night in a week or more, I'm hoping a nap is possible, and that I don't get crabby during Scott's Christmas tree enthusiasm. Last year we all missed Christmas completely because Twinkles was in the hospital for 11 days, and we nearly lost her. The holiday was very depressing. I think this year Scott wants to feel the ol' fun come back, even though he's been saying all year that we're taking the year off, and even though he's griped through every single Christmas we've ever had in this house. He's a funny guy. I think he would love to be jolly and really enjoy it, but there are so many memories over the years that get in the way. He has a love/hate conflict thing with the whole season. Me, I'm just tired. I've been too run down all year to feel enthusiastic.

18. How do you feel about change?
I resist all change that I can't personally control. It's an aspie thing. I've gotten better about it through the years, though.

19. What are you most looking forward to?
I think I'd really like to try going back to sleep after I finish my breakfast. Scott is out shopping a little with Twinkles, the house is quiet, my coughing seems to have subsided a bit...

20. What are your plans for your next birthday?
I never make plans for my birthday, unless it's to feed people.

21. Do you even care about your birthday?
Not any more. Cake is always good, though. Good thing there are birthdays so we can have cake.

22. Do you think anyone in the world loves you?
I think everyone does, they just aren't always clued in to that. I've noticed that people who are easily irritated by me are easily irritated by other things, as well, so they drag around their own stuff. I don't take it personally.

26. Why do you drive the car you have right now?

White sorta looks storm trooperish, and I like it. For me, white is the 'new black' ever since Star Wars came out. And at the time it fit me pretty good. I've driven old junky cars all my life, that one was the closest I've ever come to nearly new and fairly nice. In the nearly 10 years since then, it's getting a little junky itself, but it's still my baby Lamborghini.

27. Have you ever seen your best friend cry?
He tries not to let me, but I've seen it, yeah. It takes an awful lot to devastate him, but once it happens, he's a real lone wolf type. I am one of the privileged few who has seen a couple of tears here and there.

28. What kind of vitamins did you take as a kid?
Don't talk to me about vitamins as a kid. While other kids took a Flintstone, I had handfuls of junk stuffed down my throat. I'm sure I came pretty close to vitamin A toxicity one year during one of Mom's delusional driven spells to cure me of something imaginary and show the world ~she~ knew more than the doctors who shrugged me out the door. When you know the difference between stearates and oxides in mineral molecular construction at the tender age of 12, among many other bits of health food store trivia, you're a little too immersed in the vitamin culture. And I'm here to tell you, vitamins *do* *not* *stop* illnesses like diabetes or lupus. Mom gambled and lost. She went into a nursing home before she even hit 65 and is already so deficit she's not much more than a vegetable, and she's not even 70. And my adult life has been pretty miserable with illness. So if you're cramming vitamins down your kids' throats, lighten up. One Flintstone a day is plenty. And I don't mean to insult anyone, I'm just saying if it adds up to more than 40 pills a day, that's a tad excessive.

29. Did you get any compliments today?
Scott noticed I'm a tad perkier and gave me some nice hugs before he went shopping, and said he'd be back as soon as he could. That, to me, is better than compliments. His concern is the best feeling I get in the whole world. And I bet he brings me back a surprise of some kind. :edit later: Yep, he bought a set of various little Christmas candles. Unfortunately, my nose is so plugged, all I could smell was a strong glue smell all evening after I lit a little red one called "Christmas Eve".

30. Are you friends with your neighbors?
I normally show up for food, but this year was just too rough for that, between being so sick and their personal problems.

31. What were you just thinking about?
I really should go try laying down now while I have the chance. See ya.

32. Name the places you have lived in?
Ok, that was nice. I think I got a little over an hour of light dozing with no coughing. Still feel incredibly tired and weak, and now I have a microwaved potato in front of me. All the places I've lived, eh? I'm just not in the mood to dredge up my whole life right now, sorry. But I will say NW New Mexico and SW Missouri. How's that? And if you've been around, you know those are like night and day. Both are in my heart and soul.

33. When was the last time you drove more than 15 minutes?
3 days ago. Geez, I live outa town, I have to drive at least 20 minutes just to get to the closest Walmart and doctor. 3 days ago I drove about 120 miles round trip to see my mom. I used to do that once or twice a month, then it got to every other month, then every 3 or 4 months, then twice a year, and now it looks like I'm just about to the annual point because my chronic fatigue has gotten so bad over the years. Seems like every time I plan a trip out I either get sick or wiped out. This time I made it come hell or high water because it's possibly the last Thanksgiving I'll see her.

34. Have you ever had a crush on your sister's/brother's friend?
I am SO glad I've never had a crush on a 'local'. All my crushes are unreachable, which keeps me out of a lot of trouble. Maybe it's the Asperger's, but I very rarely crush on people I can actually smell or touch. I really dig Scott, but I'm otherwise terribly asexual, another byproduct of the Asperger's. I just have no interest in sharing myself with other people like that. If you've never heard of this, or wonder about yourself or a friend, here's a couple of places to start. And don't assume asexuality and Asperger's always go hand in hand, because they don't. The key word is 'spectrum', ~all~ our brains are on a spectrum of developmental and chemical types.

http://www.asexuality.org/home/

ABC News: Sexless and Proud

35. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
I haven't looked in a mirror yet. Last night I got the flashlight out and looked at my throat in the mirror. I've had all kinds of sore throats, but this one was different. I didn't get the usual tonsillitis or strep or all the other stuff, and it didn't even look very red or swollen until just lately, but man, it has hurt like heck all week.

36. When is the next time you will make out with somebody?
I'm having such a wave of weakness, I've gotta go lay back down. I spent the last 3 days unable to really lay down and almost completely sleepless because I was drowning in phlegm, so I guess I'd better do what my body tells me right now. It would be cruel of me to force it to stay up just to do this survey. Later, taters.

37. What's a word that rhymes with "LUCK"?
Hello again. Not even sure why I'm here. I can't get over how weak I am today. I remember some years back, maybe around 20 years ago, both my parents got pneumonia or something, and, neither one a big doctor fan, they stuck it out at home. It took 6 weeks for them to get as back to normal as they were going to get. I cannot even imagine feeling this weak for 6 weeks. Wait a sec. I was this weak with the Bell's Palsy. I was actually worse. But this is different, the Bell's didn't involve my lungs at all, but it knocked my nervous system offline. I discovered awhile ago one of the glands on the side of my neck is getting kinda hard. We used to raise goats, and anyone familiar with goats knows that they get swollen glands all the time, and in goats, the glands literally rupture and drain, very gross. Yes, it ruptures toward the outside, so there is a big lump of hard stuff under their skin high on there neck just behind the ear, about where my swollen gland is, and it eventually ruptures and drains and then heals up. Goats seem to pick up every little virus out there and can get just as snotty and gross as any human, but I never saw any of that slow them down. They didn't lay around lethargically malaised, like I'm feeling. But then, I never saw a goat get a lung infection, either. Anyway, I think I'm going to go back to the couch. I was able to eat a little and putter a little trying to clean off some of the kitchen table for the tree later, but that lasted about 10 minutes in very slow motion, so I thought sitting here would help me rest. I guess I was wrong. It's 2:00 right now, maybe I can get another little nap in. See ya.

38. What's your favorite planet?
Nunchuck. Answer to last question. It's after midnight now, so we're heading into Saturday morning. Had reached a point where I actually thought the coughing was about done, but around 10:30 it all came back, and nothing is stopping it. I could literally sleep with my forehead on my arms at this desk and cough in my sleep. Anyway, favorite planet... I think I answered this in another survey and forgot what I wrote. I think it may have been a fiction planet from a book or tv show, so it's anyone's guess right now. I think I coughed my brains out.

39. Who's the 2nd person on your missed calls list?
I don't think I've missed a call in days. Everyone knew I lost my voice, so no one is calling.

41. What shirt are you wearing right now?
Wow, same shirt as the last time I was asked this in a survey. Don't worry, it's been through the washer since then.

42. What do you "label" yourself as?
Right now, "puny".

43. Name the brand of shoes you're currently wearing?
I don't like wearing shoes in the house. I need my freedom. Besides, it's nearly one a.m.

44. Bright or dark room?
My monitor is trying to turn pink again. Aside from that and a very small lamp, it's dark in here.

45. What do you think about the person who last took this survey?
I nabbed it off a bulletin from someone I really don't know, but the answers seem to be short and sorta boring. Once in awhile I see a glimmer of thought, but not often. I don't know how these people can put so many surveys up on bulletins and keep being so boring. I'm not saying I'm a genius, but these things could be a lot more stimulating if someone really had a go at it.

46. If you're alone in a room with two beds, which one do you sleep in?
I'm on the couch again tonight. I can't see putting Scott through all this torture.

47. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Working on this survey... a long and arduous task while one is sick.

48. What did your last text message you received on your mobile say?

People who answer questions like these aren't the sort of professionals who can keep client info to themselves, like a private eye or psychologist would. It's strange to me that people are so ready to blurt out other people's words to them. If I had gotten this survey off a friend or relative and had seen an answer right off the phone, I'd be less inclined to text them in the future, knowing they'd so freely share anything I privately say with a whole list of strangers.

It's weird when surveys end on unrounded numbers, but I guess it's better than trying to reach a number and the questions getting stupider and stupider trying to fill up space.

Christmas Surveys

2021-05-26T11:17:00.001-05:00

From a private blog on Dec. 4, 2007. This is a two-fer.

Christmas survey

1. Get kissed under the mistletoe or in the snow?

Hmm, dilemma... Scott's nose runs out in the cold, and we don't have any mistletoe in the house. Maybe we'll snuggle on the couch or something.

2. Santa or Rudolph?

Wait, was this for the kiss question? Because I'm really not the Santa type, and I don't need Rudy thinking he's funny and sticking his nose in my mouth to watch my cheeks glow, you know?

3. Stocking or presents?

Around here we call them 'socks'. And socks hold more stuff, especially like candy and gift cards. What if my present is a sweater or something? Yeah, definitely sock.

4. Eggnog or hot cider?

Homemade, or from a carton or mix? I'll take homemade, if you've got it.

5. Angel or star?

Angels like it homemade, too. Put the star on the tree and offer homemade drinks to all the angels in the house.

6. Decorating the tree, or putting lights on the outside?

This year, nada. I love it when we do the house, because our back deck looks like a canteena, and the front and side rails look like a gingerbread house. The tree is fun when it looks like it's just dripping with all kinds of colorful goodies. But this year, neither one. We're taking a break.

7. Warm cozy fires or sleigh rides?:

Oddly, I've never had a sleigh ride. But I have had a carriage ride. I hate to say it, but the fleas ate me up, kinda killed the whole atmosphere of the ride. I remember we had this cool fireplace when I was growing up. I do miss that, but I don't miss the mess and the smoke.

8. Family time or friend time?

My family ARE my friends. I've tried having friends outside family. It gets too complicated.

9. Expensive presents or presents that come from the heart?

No presents at all. I used to think it was fun, now I'm just terribly burned out. There is so much worry and guilt and pressure over money being tight and people standing in return lines and being thought inconsiderate if the gift isn't right, it just really turns me off now. I guess working in a high traffic department store didn't help.

10. Snow ball fight or snowman?

The coolest thing we ever did as kids was make tunnels through the snow. I always wanted to make my own igloo.

11.Coal or present?

Food.

12. Open presents quick or slow?

Avoid opening them until everyone else is done and then it looks like I'm rich with a big pile of presents. It's funny how the gift wrap makes people drool to see what's inside. Everyone hates it when I sit there and don't open something. I get a bigger kick out of watching everyone else.

13. Diamonds or rubies?

Are you insinuating I'll get a pile of one or the other if I but choose? How generous.

14. Caroling or Christmas stories?

Watching Scrooged with a big bowl of popcorn.

15. Snowy days or ice days?

We had way too much ice last year. I'll settle for a very light dusting of snow this year, but that's all.

16.Red or Green?

The Red Green show!!!

The Red Green Show

QUESTIONS

1. Best Christmas present received?

I've had plenty of really good ones, but the best present is getting to hang out with Scott. He's pulled in so many directions like taffy, it's rare and precious to have him to myself for a little while, even just to yak while we're going somewhere in the car.

2. Whats the number one thing you want for christmas?

Peace and quiet. No calamities or accidents. No hard feelings or big messes. Oh, and good food. Can't forget that.

3. If you were going out with someone, what would you want them to get you?

I want Scott to get me some really good food from Harter House.

4. Have you ever been kissed under mistletoe?

I didn't even know what mistletoe really was until a few years ago. Not sure I get that whole tradition.

5. Age you stopped believing in Santa Claus?

When I was in the first grade, some big boys in the lunch room told me he had died. I can still remember the shock, the smell of my leather coin purse that held four pennies for my milk, and the smell of my peanut butter sandwich that I was unable to eat because I started crying so hard they had to call my mom. I learned early on that the Christmas season is cruel and hard, and filled with the laughter of ugly mean children.

6. Do you send thank you notes?

Once in awhile, yes I do. I'm kind of old fashioned.

7. Do you wake your parents up early to open presents?

I never had to. The other kids were all over it. And it never worked to try calling them early once I had my own kids, because they were still already up. In fact, I think one Christmas they even called me up out of a sound sleep at the crack of dawn and asked why the kids weren't up yet opening presents.

"My 70 Confessions'' survey (55, actually, because 15 questions are missing)

2021-05-26T10:55:00.001-05:00

From a private blog on Dec. 10, 2007.

1. Who was the last person to call you baby?
I'm sure it was a mean kid in school... For some reason, no one in their right mind has ever used 'baby' as a term of affection for me.

2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?
If I'm feeling fastidious, I'll even line up other people's carts.

3. If you got the chance to kiss the last person you kissed, would you?

The last thing I heard from Scott was "Geez, you're hot!", and it wasn't meant in a complimentary fashion. I seem to be running a little chilly with this new BP pill and keep a sweater on all day, so the hug got cut real short.

4. Has someone ever sang a song to you?
There was a guy, I kid you not, who actually oded me on his acoustic guitar, much to my embarrassment. He also did Kermit and other muppet voices. I knew I absolutely could not handle living with a guy like that the rest of my life and ran screaming.

5. Do you play Sudoku?

I am far too lazy to care about Sudoku. However, I will go out of my way to figure out what the heck valence electrons have to do with Minkowski Space and whether they are affected by p-brane collisions, however rare. I know that sounds ridiculous, but I have this really cool idea for a story.

6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness would you survive?
I'm not afraid of the wilderness. If I felt crabby enough, I would eat a skunk raw. If we're talking being abandoned during freezing rain, though, I want a big coat and expensive boots. Besides, as surrounded by wilderness as I actually am, I'm pretty sure I would run into a bird feeder or deer lick or even a dog food bowl every few acres, unless I somehow wound up in the national forest.

7. If you were stranded on an island who is the one person you would want to be there with you?
Scott, because he would be spunky enough to do all the heavy work while I sit around and keep watch and come up with ideas.

8. If you could take back anything you have ever done what would it be?
Rolling my VW, so I wouldn't have had to live with that neck injury the rest of my life.

9. What is one thing you cant live without.?
Ok, I assume you don't mean literally, like oxygen and water. After having to live without so much at various points of my life, I'm having a hard time coming up with anything. I'll say sox. As much as I love being barefoot, my feet get cold very easily and I have a collection of fuzzy footies that are the bomb.

10. who is your best friend?
Scott just walked by here making fun of me doing another survey.

11. If you could meet any celebrity who would it be?
I've met a few celebrities. I got the biggest kick out of meeting Too Slim, who is aging like a fine cheese.

12. What would you do if you won a million dollars?
Take a nap. Buy a new chicken house. Get more chickens. In that order.

13. Have you ever truly been in love?
With a certain shade of blue, yes. I've always found it mesmerizing. I don't know if it even belongs in our dimension.

14. What bad word do you say the most?
I think my impact is more in my blunt timing.

15. What is your favorite food?
This morning is was homemade dark rye toast with lots of butter and honey. mmmmmm!

16. Do you speak any other language?
Garbled, haltingly, and oddly mixed with other languages.

17. What really makes you happy?
I have yet to find anything that thrills me more than staring off into space.

18. If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you would do?
If I were IN the house, I'd get out. If I were OUT of the house, I'd watch it burn and wish I'd grabbed my camera on the way out.

What happened to 19?
20. Who do you text the most?
It is no contest. I ignore everyone equally. Oh, um, I meant I text everyone equally. That's it.

21. Who last said they loved you & meant it?
Scott always means it, even when I'm a pest and he's just trying to get me to shut up and leave him alone.

22. What color are your eyes?
They have little black dots in the middle of them that I find hard to believe are 'holes'.

23. How tall are you?
I can't believe one of the big interviews on the CBS morning news is about how to deal with bad breath. Oh, sorry, got distracted.

What happened to 24?
25. Do you like your parents?
It's hard to like a lunatic, but Dad is ok.

26. Do you secretly like someone?
I secretly like anyone who keeps trying to get through the day in spite of all odds being against them in every way. I have this thing for weird oddballs in all shapes and sizes that keep the world spinning while the pretty people try on clothes.

What happened to 27?
28. Who was the last person you said you loved on the phone?
Ok, must break this sentence down the aspie way. This sentence is actually saying that I was saying I loved someone to someone else on the phone, if you read this correctly. I don't think I've actually said "I love so and so" to someone else on a phone in a long time.

29. Favorite ex?
This is dumb. I can't see this being meaningful in any form unless the person answering is the sort to use and abuse others. Who was your favorite toy that you discarded? Otherwise, it's like asking what my favorite most painful episode was in my life.

What happened to 30 and 31???
32. Do you like mustard?
Only mixed in other things, the most mustardy being honey mustard. I like putting a dash of mustard in deviled egg filling or ham glaze and stuff like that.

33. Do you prefer to sleep or eat?
Strange how we can't do both at once, because I choose both equally.

34. Do you look like your mom or dad?
I've tried to avoid looking clonish. There are certain looks I make that remind me of my mother at her worst, which is sad.

What happened to 35?
36. Can you do splits?
I'm not sure that's something to really brag about, but I'm sure I could if I had to to save my life somehow doing them.

37. What movie do you want to see right now?
I was hoping to see Sweeney Todd at the theater, but Scott says a bloody musical is too much for him, in spite of all the vampire movies he's seen. If I scrape up enough cash I might just take myself.

What happened to 38?
39. What did you do for New Year's Eve?
I think we went to bed early last year. I can't remember. This year, not sure what I'll do. I think it would be fun to stay up playing games, but Scott is very anti-game the last few years.

40. Do you think The Grudge was crappy?
I avoid many movies. That was one of them.

What happened to 41 and 42???
43. Was your mom a cheerleader?
Metaphorically, she was the cheerleader from heck, dragging us around health food stores, giving us 20 minute lectures, and beating us with a little stick. But you couldn't find a more enthusiastic soul for whatever she was into at the moment, be it religion, vitamins, or picking cherries. I really miss her pot roast sometimes, though. She was a really unique person.

What happened to 44?
45. What's the last letter of your middle name?
How in the world does that matter?

What happened to 46?
47. How many hours of sleep do you get a night?
Not enough. I find daytime naps help.

48. Do you like care bears?
I've managed to not care for years for yet another feel good fuzzy commercial product.

What happened to 49?
50. Do you know how to play poker
I've played poker, and I found it as boring as any other card game.

What happened to 51?
52. What do you wear to sleep?
I suit up for all possible situations. You never know when you're going to wind up in a nightmare and need to kick blankets all around.

53. Anything big ever happen in your home town?
I'm not sure any more just what is considered my home town. We had a huge jeep rally here one year with over 5000 people and the original Blues Brothers, but I had to work and missed it.

54. Is your hair straight or curly?
It's got a bizarre fluff on one side from sleeping on it.

55. Is your tongue pierced?
Only by my own teeth.

56. Do you like liver and onions?
I make the best liver and onions on the planet.

What happened to 57?
58. Do you like funny or serious people better?
I need funny people around me, because serious people can be such a drag.

59. Ever been to LA.?
Only on TV.

60. What is on your mind right now?
Nothing. Yes, I really did check.

61. Any plans for tonight?
Probably homemade tacos.

62. What's your favorite song at the moment?
Bossa Nova Noel, a nearly extinct Christmas song on a 1968 album by Living Strings and Living Voices. Someday when I update my equipment I'll convert it to digital and share it with the world. In the meantime, here are the lyrics.

Snow falling down on the city, Everything looking so pretty

This time of year you're sure to hear Bossa Nova Noel!

Listen and you'll hear bells ringing, Laughter and music and singing

People you meet say as they greet Boss Nova Noel!

Tinsel and bright lights Make days out of dark nights

And carols are filling the air

Children are waiting and anticipating

That soon he'll be there everywhere

And when he comes I'll be with him Dancing the greatest of rhythm

You're gonna see Santa and me Doing Bossa Nova Noel.

63. Do you hate chocolate?
I could no more hate chocolate than I could hate my fuzzy footies or my chicken.

64. What do you and your parents fight about the most?
I don't think we have fought in years. Might have a lot to do with Mom losing her capability to speak...

What happened to 65?
66. Do you need a boyfriend/girlfriend to be happy?
I have found over the years that even being miserable together is better than always being alone. It's comforting to have someone around. And I don't mean in an abusive relationship when I say miserable, it's just natural to have a few bad days here and there.

67. What do people usually mistake you for?
'Cute', in an eccentric sort of way. Then they feel so slighted when the snake comes out and hisses or bites. Honestly, people walk ALL OVER me, and I bite my tongue and try to be nice about it and hopefully redirect it elsewhere until I just lose it. I'm not sure what attracts people to me in the first place. I've been told I have charisma. This from Wikipedia.

The word charisma (from the Greek word χάρισμα (kharisma), "gift" or "divine favor," from kharizesthai, "to favor," from kharis, "favor": see also charism, Charis) refers to a rare trait found in certain human personalities usually including extreme charm and a 'magnetic' quality of personality and/or appearance along with innate and powerfully sophisticated personal communicability and persuasiveness. Though very difficult or even impossible to define accurately (due to a lack of widely accepted criteria in regard to the trait), charisma is often used to describe an (elusive, even undefinable) personality trait that often includes the seemingly 'supernatural' or uncanny ability to lead, charm, persuade, inspire, and/or influence people. It refers especially to a quality in certain people who easily draw the attention and admiration (or even hatred if the application of such charisma is perceived to be negative) of others due to a 'magnetic' quality of personality and/or appearance.

All I have to do is show up and I affect an entire roomful of people, both online and in real life, even if I'm being quiet. I have to admit I do feel like my body barely contains my exuberant spirit most of the time, and I often wonder if other people unconsciously pick up on that. My soul or life force or whatever it is feels very overwhelming sometimes, and I feel trapped here in this body, although I do enjoy being here. I just wish I felt better so I could do something bigger with all this spiritual energy I have. Maybe I'm learning patience this go round.

68. Are you easy to get along with?
*I* think so, but others beg to differ. I find that very amusing.

69. What is your favorite time of day?
Um, 2:15 p.m. I have no idea why that popped into my head.

70. Are you a generally happy person?
I've never been able to wrangle 'happy' into an acceptable definition of being. I think 'happy' is a misnomer that has developed over the last few centuries and has developed into a commercialized state of mind. Content and joyful are much better words for how I feel about some things. I can't help but wonder if 'happiness' nowadays is more akin to sensationalism than anything.

Post this as "My 70 Confessions''

another 14 year old survey

2021-05-26T10:37:00.001-05:00

From a private blog on Dec. 12, 2007.

I started this one two nights ago, just finished it.

1. What is the status of you and the last person you held hands with?
He's in bed sawing logs, I boinged awake and got up at 2 a.m. I think our current status is "not sleeping together". HAHAHAHA!!!!!

2. What's bothering you right now?
I'm extremely content. I just ate a piece of homemade dark rye toast loaded with butter and honey with a glass of milk, took a spoonful of benadryl to help me get sleepy again, and I'm loading pictures into photobucket until my eyelids get heavy. The broadband is working great, in spite of all the towers icing up, and I still have electricity. Life is good.

3. Who did you get this survey from?
Beats me. I don't keep track of who posts surveys as bulletins on myspace. I see a survey, I nab it.

4. When did you last cry?
How many tears is actual crying? Are crying and weeping the same thing? It's kind of like when someone says they threw up, and you imagine this violent awful experience of losing their lunch, when really it was only a little urp of slime. Yeah, I know that's gross, but I find that when people use words like "cry" and "throw up", they tend to let the words carry the impact for something that I wouldn't consider a truly big deal.

5. Who do you hate?
I don't have the energy to hate. Life is too short to hate. I have better things to do than hate. Hating is like focusing on something negative and destructive in a very selfish whiny kind of way, and unless you're hating someone who has truly ruined your life personally, as in murdering someone you love or destroying your marriage or doing dastardly things to your child, you're wasting precious time and energy you could be spending loving someone else.

6. What do you want in your life right now?
Sleepiness, come on down!!! I would love to go back to bed for a few more hours.

7. Are you happy?
See previous survey for my feelings on 'happiness'.

8. How do you feel about the last person you kissed?
I love hugging him and feeling his fuzzy skin.

9. What do you smell like?
Fortunately I showered before I went to bed, so I can honestly say I smell good.

10. Drinking?
I finished my milk a little while ago.

11. What's your favorite thing to have on your bed?
Me!!!!!

12. If you could change something in your life, what would it be?
I sure wouldn't mind not having allergies.

Where's 13?

14. Do you tend to make relationships complicated?
I do fine until my hormones go skydiving. Anything after that technically isn't my fault.

15. How do you feel about the person you got this survey from?
I wonder about other people not catching the missing questions, and I wonder about people who answer everything in 3 words or less, but usually I wonder most about the person who created the survey in the first place-- are question numbers skipped on purpose? Why? Do other people just not care about details as much as I do? I mean, the last survey was actually titled "70 questions", and 15 of them were missing. Is someone out there deleting questions as they do surveys and passing them along, giggling insanely under their breath? Or is the creator halfway through a fifth of vodka and feeling bitter and melancholy and dealing with life issues while they pose questions? Yes, these and many more ponderances nag at me while I fill these out.

Where are 16 and 17? (See what I mean? Who in the world could not notice that we just jumped from 15 to 18? Apparently MANY people.)

18. What did you do last weekend?
Some very exciting nap taking. Actually, I don't remember, and I don't care. I'm sure it's in my blog somewhere if someone is pervasive enough.

19. Who do you miss?
Sometimes I miss my sploit, but I'm so thrilled that we live in the age of cell phones and computers that I probably feel much better than if this were 200 years ago and I would probably get one letter a year from her IF the mail got through.

20. Who is the last girl and boy you hugged?
Twinkles and Scott. I so rarely see anyone else, and I'm not into hugging my doctor and her staff. I imagine I could hug the librarian when my interlibrary loan comes in, but that would be weird.

21. Are you scared of snakes?
Nope. I've never understood that fear. I grew up playing with snakes that we caught, and I once stepped on a copperhead barefooted (we both freaked out and ran...) and caught another barehanded in the house and killed it with a knife. One time we even put a big black snake in a jar. Never do that, by the way. They have a really nasty smell to them when you keep them cooped up like that.

22. Who was the last person you went somewhere with? Where?
My weekly trip to town with Scott. But I was puny and we cut it short.

23. What was the last text message you got?
I turn over private information only for cold, hard cash.

24. Have you kissed anyone on your top friends?
Do cheeks count?

25. Are you still with your first love?
My first love was a lump of blue turquoise rock. I have no idea where it is.

26. Whose house did you go to last night?
Jaizzy's house! I put straw in her nests and brought her some taco salad.

27. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital?
This is debatable, since the last time I spent 3 hours there I was hanging out with a bunch of strangers in the waiting room.

28. Who do you like right now?
Boy, this one stumped me. We jump from hospital to who I like, and I just went completely blank. Is 'like' supposed to mean 'feel infatuated with' in this instance? Or just people I like in general? Randomly speaking, I like the Sonic Guys.

29. Are you bored?
I'm rarely bored. My brain never says "I'm bored". It runs continually in all directions.

30. What is the last movie you watched?
Flyboys. VERY cool.

31. Name three drinks you regularly drink?
Sadly, I laid off the hot chocolate this last week while I let my stomach rest. I'm mostly sticking to hot tea and hot honey milk now.

32. What are you excited about?
Was I excited? *looking around* Sorry, didn't mean to be. It was a mistake. Sorry.

33. Do you want someone you can't have?
I question what it is I *truly* want. I think if we explore feelings like that more deeply we find them rooted in a natural compulsion to escape a gaping loneliness that our souls have felt ever since we were born.

34. Who was last to slap your butt?
I don't recall anyone slapping my butt for a very long time, and the next person who does is liable to get punched.

35. What makeup do you wear?
I like Maybelline and Almay, but I haven't had the free cash to explore in several years. Makeup is so horribly expensive to dabble with.

36. What's on your mind right now?
Food... what do I want? What sounds good? All I had for lunch was a baked potato, and that was 5 hours ago. Leftover taco? Egg sandwich with cheese? Cereal and toast? I'm at a loss.

37. Who was the last person to make you cry?
No one *makes* me cry. I cry because I'm having a bad day or something. If I turn it into someone making me cry, then I'm giving power to someone else to hurt me instead of taking responsibility for it myself. Much easier to come to grips with me being in charge of my own crying.

38. Name someone whose name starts with the letter "C"
My eyes are itching like mad ever since I change the straw in Jaizzy's house. I think her old straw set my allergies off a little.

39. Do you care what others think about you?
My blog, my house, my life. If you don't like it, why are you hanging around? I think it's safe to say I could care less what others think of me, because in the end, all our judgments on others are based on our own insecurities.

40. What are you self-conscious about? Why?
I suppose in some ways I'm self conscious about simply existing. My mom picked on me a little too much growing up, and I grew up feeling like I was never good enough in any way. Frankly, I've come to realize that was her mental illness, and I'm pretty much fine now with who I am, but I *am* sort of super aware of how people treat each other now.

41. Do you trust people easily?
*everyone who knows me instantly cracks up* NO!!!!!!!!!! It takes me years to trust people.

Where's 42?

43. Do you think you'll be married by 10 months?
I think I'll stay married, yeah. Thanx for asking. Scott's the bomb.

44. What do you look forward to in the next 3 months?
I've been waiting on an interlibrary loan for over a month now. The status every time I check is "awaiting arrival". I think everyone along the delivery route is stopping to read this book. One of these days *I'll* get to read it, too. What is it, you ask. It's Dress to Kill, Eddie Izzard's biography.

Where's 45?

46. Who was the last missed call?
I so rarely get calls, that was ages ago.

47. What's your ring tone?
I just leave it on vibrate. I know there are some really neat ring tones out there, but I just can't stand having to obey a piece of machinery commanding me to do something. I am NOT at beck and call, even though I keep my phone on me pretty much 24/7.

48. Do you plan on moving within the next year?
I might sit out on the deck more this spring.

49. What were you doing at 10pm Thursday night?
If you have anything on me, I'll still refuse to cooperate.

50. What happened at 10:00 am today?
Hang on a sec while I timewarp and find out. *coming back with a hotdog* I was getting ready to head out the door to a CT scheduled at 10:45. Made me hungry for lunch. I reminded myself to put paper plates on the shopping list, but I didn't see me do it, so I guess I'll have to do that later. *rolling eyes*

14 year old survey

2021-05-26T10:27:00.002-05:00

From a private blog on Dec. 21, 2007.

Was up in the middle of the night again- oh, no! Yep, you're getting another survey. And yes, as ever, it's missing questions.

1.) What's worse: A one night stand or a bad relationship?
That is ~exactly~ what I wondered when I got the guacamole out the next day.

2.) Is it easier to forgive or forget?
How much money is involved?

3) Can men and women be just friends?
I don't trust either one.

4.) Who took this survey before you?
We hit and run people don't stop to ask names.

5.) All expenses paid vacation to where?
Um, it's ok if you just hand me the money and I'll make the arrangements...

6.) On the way to the electric chair - what's your last meal?
I would NOT be able to eat. I would ask for a meal of sedatives and narcotics.

7.) Do you kiss and tell?
Scott winds up in nearly all my surveys. He's getting kinda famous.

8.) Where was the last place you slept (other than your bed?)
There is something about the couch that feels so cozy.

9.) Is flirting cheating?
Hooked up people flirting extraneously speaks volumes to their characters. People who find that titillating speak more volumes. I tend to avoid all possible flirt situations. Sometimes people are too eager for the wrong sort of validation.

10.) Would you rather have 1 great friend or 5 pals?
One Scott is plenty.

11.) If someone called you an asshole or a bitch would you be offended?
Nope. If I indicated a lack in their ability for quality cognation back at them, I'm sure they wouldn't be, either.

12.) Are you ok with your significant other being friends with other guys/girls?
The very notion sets me to the giggles. Scott doesn't exactly lend himself to reciprocal fondness.

13.) Would you live with someone without being married to them?
I wasn't married to Twinkles or sploit, and everything worked out just fine.

15.) Would you rather shower or bathe?
I'd *rather* push a button and be auto-cleaned, like in the Jetsons.

18.) Do you believe in angels?
I've heard they can be pretty formidable.

19.) Have you ever flirted with someone you had no interest in?
I don't pet stray dogs and cats. You never know who has cooties. The last thing I need is rabies shots.

20.) Ever kissed a random person and then walked away?
Being the only random person in the house, this happens to Scott quite often.

21.) Are sloths cool?
It's really hard for me to wrap my mind around an animal that lives on the level of nearly comatose.

22.) Is it ever ok to ask out your ex's best friend?
I can't even imagine wanting to stay involved in the ex's life on any level.

23.) Ever break up with someone and regret it?
I never regret escaping a bad situation.

24.) Are you a jealous person?
If you feel jealous, you are either a control freak or with the wrong person in the first place. Can only wonder how much this goes with the previous flirting questions. I find it odd that people will create their own bad situations and never even realize it.

25.) Would you ever have plastic surgery?
It's amazing what they can do after accidents nowadays.

27.) Are you a beach, country or city person?
I like all 3, but I'm not sure my chicken would.

28.) Where do you spend most of your money?
I'm sure I paid off my doctor's porsche.

29) Do you like Fall?

The only part about fall I really ~don't~ like is the big spiders.

30.) Have you and your friends ever gotten a piercing at a piercing party?
Does this put piercings on the same level as tupperware?

31.) Would you ever attend a piercing party if asked?
I no longer go to home sales parties. And no, I would never put myself in the stupid position of being surrounded by silly people pushing me to mutilate my body.

32.) Can you change a car tire?
I am able, but not willing. I haven't had to change a tire in many years.

33.) Would you consider yourself adventurous?
I used to be so adventurous that my mom insisted I was the one who turned her hair white. It's probably a good thing she doesn't know I outran state police through New Mexico.

34.) Can you shoot pool?
I had a fantastic night many moons ago where I was so wasted I could barely stand, yet ran the table like I was magic. I never bet money, but a girl with $700 cash on her sure wanted me to. I can't play sober pool to save my life.

35.) Would you sing karaoke in front of co-workers/friends?
I have no problem at all with stage fright, but I really loathe karaoke.

36.) Ever skipped school and spent the day at the beach?
Yes, actually, I attended senior skip day down at the lake one year, although I was actually skipping college classes to do it. Funny how that all works out.

37) Single or ready to settle down?
Is that not technically the same thing, since 'ready' indicates not having yet settled down...?

38.) Have you ever sat and hoped for a phone call?
I have impatiently waited for test results from a doctor's office, yes. It's very nerve racking.

39.) Who's most important in your life?
Anyone who offers me food.

41.) Who do you think is like you the most?
Many agree there is no one else like me on the planet.

42.) Have you ever been confused?
Try generalizing with an aspie sometime and then tell me what ~you~ think. I drive people crazy.

44.) Who was the last person that called you?
Twinkles. There is a conspiracy to surprise Scott at the company Christmas dinner tonight with a special acknowledgment for 25 years of employment. He thought he got out of it last summer, heh heh. So now we're endeavoring to smuggle in a camera so someone at the dinner can catch the look on his face.

46.) Who makes you smile?
After a little thought on this, it's pretty clear that very few *don't* make me smile, so that's a toughie. I don't think this should be a contest narrowed down to one or two people. I smile very easily when I'm not in full blown aspie mode.

47.) Where do you want to get married?
I'm kind of assuming I'll never have to worry about this question again, but IF I were to find myself in the grips of this decision again for real, I think it would be cool to have a quiet ceremony outside with a beautiful moonrise and the ocean over my shoulder.

48.) What book are you reading right now?
I'm refusing to read any books over the holiday. I took everything back to the library, unfinished or not. I can always get them back later.

49.) Future kids names?
I've been told Barty Shay is out, rotf.

50.) Ever liked someone you didn't have a chance with?

Willy Wonka will never love me the way I need him to.

Hope you all have a great Christmas Eve weekend.

questions people won't ask survey- really?

2020-02-11T07:49:00.001-06:00

Originally published on October 31, 2012.

Have you ever flirted with your best friend's bf/gf?
Hey, silly person in Pakistan with your external login attempts, I CAN SEE YOU. Yes, YOU.

Do you think that you're all that and your probably really not?
My internal Xanga tracker shows me external login attempts. I've seen several of these from different countries (and a United State) on this silly survey site, my Lexx blog, and my private blog. I'd like to feel flattered, but I fear I'm a random target among many, for the most part. I'm still trying to wrap my head around Michio Kaku's twitter getting hacked last summer, which I witnessed happening live. I hope to never have a nemesis so enamored of me.

Have you gotten beat up before. Tell the truth.
This guy made the most beautifully awesome youtube in HD using one of my all-time fave songs that I never tell *anyone*, it was so perfect for the particular fandom I was perusing, but I could not get that youtube to play correctly on my browser for anything, and he had it on a private link and no embedding. There was no way to message him, so I left a comment asking if I could *please* embed just once ~privately~ so I could put a pause button on it, because there was no way I could buffer it in and actually see it, and he pretty much just laughed like I was some dumb sap with a plug in typewriter and said that's too bad... Um. Dude. I totally ripped off your youtube. Why hand out a private link to your twitter followers if you're going to be like that, right? All you had to do was let me see it. Now I ***OWN*** it on my hard drive, and I can watch that HD with my fave song and a show I love on full screen at. my. leisure. any. time. I. want. You can play with tech and think you're too cool for noobs that hang on what you do, and I'll be polite about it, but you kick dirt at this nerd, I'll go own your tech. Oh, and I was able to pin it onto pinterest, too, so suck it. My baditude trumps yours.

Are you smart or are you dumb?I was prolly pretty dumb for just admitting all that.

If you're a girl, do you scratch your boobs when nobody's looking?
I don't care if someone's looking, I live in tick and brown recluse country. And if I get a bee sting you'll see me stripping without warning, and if you don't help me get the stinger out because you're too busy being inexperiencedly stupid enough to think it's time to make a point of ogling (this survey creator seems pretty green), I'll rip your arms off.

Have you ever wanted to have sex with your own gender?
Do I seem like I'm in a bad mood? My answers look like they're bordering on comic sans violence tonight. My allergies finally just took me all the way down, I'm exhausted and ready to take sandpaper to my itchy eyeballs, and I'm sitting by the door waiting for trick-or-treaters. So far we got a pretty ladybug fairy and a grim reaper. Let's see, sex with my own gender. Nope. I generally don't want sex with anyone. My psychologist is lately taking an amused interest in the fact that I, an aspie asexual, am obsessed with a scifi show mildly spoofing the porn industry driving home the point that no one ever seems to get any sex...

Are you liking this survey so far?
Well, it's certainly bringing out my blabby crabby side, so sure, I'd call this survey a success.

Do you have alot of friends or are you nobody at school?
I was the same kind of nobody I am now, discreet enough not to be suspect, and exhibitionist enough to constantly be planning evil schemes.

Are you annoying to most people?
Everyone who knows me is going YES!!!!

Can you take the truth, no matter what it is?
The truth slaps me right in the face so often that I don't think it phases me much any more.

Would you go suicidal if someone in your family died?
The laws of robotics won't allow it. I suck at self harming unless I know for a fact I positively *won't* bleed, cry, regret, or die. I'm even afraid to pick sores. I'm not above self inflicting weird kinds of pain, though.

Is there somebody in your life you hate at this point?
I don't have the energy to hate anyone. I tried, it's just too draining. It's easier not to think about whoever, like they don't exist. I'm kinda Spongebob-y like that, in my own bubble.

Are you dreading something right now?
I'm wondering if I turn off the front light at 8:00 and close the blinds and go off in another room we'll suddenly get a mob of trick-or-treaters with toilet paper and eggs. Actually, that only used to happen to a guy up the street who was a teacher in the high school, but we never got papered or egged because we were the cool house. But still, you never know. Halloween is kind of like playing out a ritualistic protection racket.

While taking this, did you start thinking about your true self?Wow, really? I don't hide my true self, my true self is always what you get. I think it's sad that so much of the world assumes we all hide our true selves, as if there is another self inside we have to protect all the time. The world is so full of haters, see what this survey is doing to me, it's making me sad thinking about haters. Go away, survey! I want to be done with you!!!!

Would you date somebody on Valentine's Day just to get something for Valentine's?
I know people who do that, and I'm totally disgusted that people purposely blind themselves with hope and allow other people to use them like that in the name of love. It's so much simpler being asexual. You wouldn't believe the crap I see right through. I can predict any couple's demise with uncanny accuracy, based on one's selfishness and the other's gullibility. When you have to buy into a holiday for love, it's not love, capiche? Scheduling romantic gooey stuff on a calendar is ridiculous, especially when money is expected to be involved. Survey maker, I'm on your side on this one. You are right to be suspicious.

Have you ever broke somebody's heart and didn't care?
You have broke my heart with that incorrect verb tense and all the typos you made earlier.

Did you go to Pre-K?
K was bad enough, so thank goodness I didn't. And thank goodness this survey is over! The light is off now, Halloween is over, I'm going to get my pajamas on and load up on benadryl.

'Can you' survey

2017-11-30T08:32:00.000-06:00

Can you do this without lying?

1. What was the last thing you put in your mouth?
COFFEH. Everyone has a coffee t-shirt. I need to design my own coffee t-shirt. I wonder if my New Year's resolutions should include getting my zazzle account back out and brushing the dust off. Oh, wait, I have 2 coffee mugs in the shop. Totally forgot about these.

That second one has #TeamJanika on the back in red, not to be confused with Janika Tenn, this other Janika, Janika Galindez, or the Spain Janika on a real team going for the world cup, or the Janika in Mexican Wrestling. Looks like Janikas are taking over the world! (I found all those from the twitter hashtag feed.) I need to buy one, lol. It's 30% off today. Wonder if it'll be like that till Christmas. Now I'm wondering how long ago I even made a zazzle shop. I remember I was still really brain glitchy and it all seemed really hard, but now it might be a lot easier. Hm. I can tell my eyes have changed, had to turn the brightness down on the default color I set up on the font.

2. Where was your profile picture taken?
I found that Plankton via SpongeBob search and ran it through my Print Shop years ago. That was my first attempt at dividing a blog into content feeds before tags became available. I manually created 6 separate buttons to click to take readers to 6 different categories I grouped together with code and had all the buttons in my header like a menu. Got it all set up and boom, blog formats changed, lost my header freedom, I was so pissed. A year later tags were everywhere.

I did all that manual coding during one of my worst sick years EVER, and that kept me focused through the most godawful monumental unending pain.

By the way, people from the older Lexx fandom might remember my original fan site blog had homemade buttons all over it. I loved making those. I was so sad watching the blogging world dumb down into much more rigid preset formatting. Felt like my hands were literally being tied.

3. Did you play Pokémon Go!?

No.

4. Name someone that made you laugh today.T
I just got up and haven't laughed yet today. By the way, I started this several days ago. Nothing I say in surveys is timestamped.

5. How late did you stay up last night?
No one ever asks me who the last person I super stalked was. I had a good week. I know many things.

6. If you could move somewhere else where would it be?
I'm constantly checking distances from one city to another and looking up retail values in areas, not because I want to be anywhere else, but because I see such interesting things in my stat trackers. This blog doesn't have an extra stat tracker and I can't do that here, and it drives me crazy because the hits are so surprisingly steady, but I won't let myself install the extra code. I come here to RELAX, dangit. 😂

7. Have you ever been kissed under the fireworks?
We've had a few moments of intense scattering when fireworks fell over and started shooting into the crowd, I'm sure I've bumped awkwardly into a few people.

8. Do you believe ex's can be friends?
I know several people who are friends with exes. I am not. One of my exes wants me dead because he's mental (not joking, someone who knew him said he said that, and considering the stolen guns he had and the fact that he pointed a loaded rifle at me one day and held me on target and a story he told me about shooting a guy during deer season one year, I certainly believe that), another probably still wants me to shut up. I refuse to comply with either one. The fandom deserves to know why I never crushed on a certain character being a flashback trigger to one of the saddest soul crushing events of my life. Not a clue how the one who wanted to marry me is doing, but I didn't think basing a relationship around getting high and being acoustic guitar oded in Kermit the Frog voice was a good omen for a long term relationship, even though he was very talented and uber chill and the best *stop right there, don't go there*. Wow, got chills. Anyway, there are more noteworthies, but I'm not going to step over that confession line until the book.

9. How do you feel about Dr. Pepper?
It reminds me of my mom because she loved Dr. Pepper, and she's dead now from diabetes strokes ravaging her. I haven't had soda pop in any form myself for years.
How Soda Impacts Diabetes
That article is about whether soda may impact the development of diabetes, which at the root is a genetic problem, BUT if you plug in those same impacts into a person who is already diabetic, you can imagine the damage throughout the body. Note of interest, for those who don't quite get it yet, is that ANY sweet drink, including 100% fruit juice, is bad for diabetes, so I'm not just picking on soda here. Some people lose legs or vision, some people lose their brains being ravaged by strokes. I personally have to shun Dr. Pepper from my mind and not think about it. The 'be a Pepper' song earworm is mind twisting in bad days.

10. When was the last time you cried?
This question seems to be replacing the old 'last time you showered' question that showed up on every single survey I did for years, haven't seen that one in awhile. I think an even more honest question would be to ask people when was the last time they made someone else cry. I would love to see a self assessment dare to go into the heart of darkness.

11. Who was the last person you took a picture or video of?
The screenshots were part of my stalking, so I can't tell you.

12. Was yesterday better than today?
Hard to tell yet, still on that first cup of coffee. It's certainly better than the entire whole year so far. I'm on the other side of surgery after months of pain, and our routine around here has settled nicely after stress after stress after stress every single month. lolz, a squirrel just tried hijacking some Christmas lights off the deck as I was writing that. 😂
Squirrels stealing Christmas lights- articles & pix
Someone else caught a squirrel stealing lights last year.

Ok, got lost in Christmas squirrel stuff on pinterest. Coming out twirly-eyed.

13. Can you live a day without t.v.?
Yes. If you'd have said youtube I'd have said no.

14. Are you upset about anything?
I'm currently in brain fuzz trying to wake up. I need to get a little list going and plan out my day. I'll be zipping around 50-60 miles between towns in a big metro area, need to get a lot of things done.

15. Are relationships worth it?
Some relationships are gold. Sometimes you find that gold inside yourself, even in bad relationships. We always keep learning.

16. What job or career would you pick?
I am a thinker that writes a lot. My job is to blow sparkly brain dust through glowing monitors.

17. Are you a bad influence?
In very good ways, yes. I pull people out of their boxes. Some find that a bit scary. Some don't understand and morph into inappropriate appropriators. Others go viral and spread the love, so I guess I'm doing something right.

18. Two friends that might do this?
Lol, NOT going to name them here. Wait, you mean do the survey? Probably no one. Or if they do it'll be behind my back, like I did. I swiped this from a friend a few months or so ago.

19. Would you rather fish or hunt?
The super stalking started after I discovered someone took my bait, so both.

20. Do you consider yourself a city or country person?
I can and have easily done both. I've been super rural and super metro. I have no actual preference as long as I have a working car, good wifi, great tech, and no bugs. My home is currently being swarmed with fake ladybugs, and it's not cute at all. About ready for the weather to change and make it stahp.

167 lame questions because I can't sleep

2017-07-31T08:28:00.000-05:00

I started this on May 1st and promptly forgot about it after question 28.

I haven't had to fall back on a survey in years, but I'm having one of those nights where I have absolutely no one to talk to and my fave game server is down. I'll elaborate- I could talk to someone, but they'd hate me long before I got done venting. And for waking them up and dragging them out of bed.

Anyway, this one comes from A ‘Throwback Thursday’ Survey Like From The MySpace Days and immediately looked so stupidly lame at the top of the search engine list that I had to grab it to vent all my wrath, rage, and ruin upon. Before I begin, I just wanna say the answers I'm erasing from the person before me are even more lame than the questions (and which you can still see on the original post I linked up there), and since you can look up who it is, you too can lean back, roll your eyes, and utter a disgusted "Lame!" Also, wtf is up with stopping at 167??? Who the hell makes them thisss longggggggg??????? And then suddenly stops at a weird place?

Inserting psyche preparation...

1. Last beverage:
In a house of 4 people and me being the only one who washes the dishes, the last used beverage left for dead that I freakishly spilled all over the counter trying open a child proof sippy cup was a form of chocolate milk. Could've been some kind of nutrition shake, not sure if it was the adult kind or the kid kind, but the main thing was that it was chocolate, that it wasn't finished, and that it was left as is to go rank. I'm cleaning a ~straw~ here, people.

2. Last phone call:
In or out? To or from? On my phone or someone else's? How am I supposed to answer something so vague? Besides, we have the govt to keep track of these things. It's out of my hands. Ok, I'll bite. It's normally a collection agency. Despite years of compliancy, I was finally forced into student loan default after 3 different total disability debt relief rejections (one time was over a comma my doctor didn't do correctly, apparently), and my lawyer just said don't pick up the phone. I have openly addressed this in Dear Gregory, which apparently hit a nail for a number of people, netting 4x my usual amount of readers. Yes, two years later I am still ignoring daily calls.

3. Last song you listened to:
*looking for facepalm post* Lemma 'splain. My fave headphones died last month, my new headphones for my phone crapped out several days ago, my Beats refuses to work in my phone, and my others are computer-only. I lost my earbuds. Add some super life swamp that kept me from listening to ANYTHING else since this next happened and ta-da, irony comes back to bite since I thought I was being funny posting this one on my last Pinky post. Whee, guess what we get to see again. 🙄

4. Last time you cried:
TODAY. I cry every day. Everyone on the whole planet should be crying every single day because this is a really hard place to ace a pop quiz on the meaning of life. If you aren't suffering or repentant or lonely or sad, you will be.

5. Have you dated someone twice:
😑 I actually wondered today where my life might have gone if I never had. Any of them. I really am in that kind of funk.

6. Have you ever been cheated on:
Pets do this behind our backs all. the. time. The whole loyalty thing is a sham.

7. Kissed someone & regretted it:
Raging case of strep from a 3 year old doesn't scare me.

8. Have you lost someone special:
Can I just throw in how briefly this was both asked and answered before me? We are on the planet of death and howling despair, o.m.g. YES. And since I dragged it out over several months on a blog, you can go look that up.

9. What are your three favorite colors:
Royal blue, sky blue, and a cross between azure and cyan. Since hex charts don't accurately represent these colors in NATURE (our screens doing the glowy bit in more or less intensity actually changes how they look, yes, I am THAT picky with color), then I invite you to go find these colors in real life.

Royal blue embroidery thread.

Sky blue. I've spent hours of my life staring at the sky out of building and vehicle windows and from outdoor seating while I think many thoughts. Did you know that blue wasn't even recognized as a color in worldwide human vocabulary until somewhat recently?
Humans Didn't Even See The Colour Blue Until Modern Times, Research Suggests

My state song growing up includes the line "Under a sky of azure, where balmy breezes blow, kissed by the golden sunshine, is Nuevo Mejico." Azure is a littler harder to pin down, but it's a super cool word and lends an exotic feel to a visual.

Here is cyan. Some of you are wondering by now what in the world matters about such minute differences. I don't know. All I know is that since I was a child, the color blue has felt extremely important for some reason, and that 'navy' in the fashion industry (especially with polka dots) and 'ford blue' on vehicles (especially associated with farming and rednecks) are very big mistakes in this particular parallel dimension.

10. Met someone who changed you in the past month:
The answer I just erased actually stopped me in my facepalm tracks. I used to think the answers were stupid from teenagers, but a middle ager going back for nostalgia is even stupider. Sorry, back to me. A very real person who has changed me lately is someone I've never met in person but who demonstrated uber amounts of patience and perseverance getting a creative effort off the ground, and how I felt experiencing that work is exactly what I'd like to reproduce in my own readers.

11. Kissed anyone on your friends list:
And there we have the answer to all the other questions that left us wondering who the cheater was behind all the vague answers. I'm about ready for Barry to screw up Flashpoint now. Sorry, I'm not usually this distracted by previous answerers. My friends list includes just about anyone who even vaguely knows me from a distance, so I think a better question is kissed anyone who has threatened physical harm or lawsuit. And the answer is "Yes". People who know how much of a total germ phobe I am are usually very surprised to hear this.

click to find out

12. How many kids do you want:
*goes back in time and changes history* *immediately angsts about not having kids in one's life, goes back and changes history again* *runs into this question and...* I remember when my sister used to daydream about having 12 kids.

13. Do you want any pets:
I had a pet named Wolfie on the game server. He followed me and other players around demanding attention and handouts.

14. Do you want to change your name:
Pinky said I had to stop changing my name. We're (I'm) still working on the depersonalization and dissonance issues with my psychologist. exactly

15. What did you do for your last birthday:
Experimented with chocolate waffles and came away with probably never again, even though they weren't that bad.

16. What time did you wake up today:
I can't believe people really answer stuff like this. I woke up before everyone else even though I got to bed after everyone else, because that's what good meemaws DO.

17. Name something you CANNOT wait for:
Tomorrow morning's coffee. 4 more hours. Wonder if I can finish this before then.

18. Last time you saw your mother:
I've extensively blogged about how agonizing it was losing my mom so slowly. If someone can tell me in comments the last time I saw her, I'll totally give you a real prize of some kind, like maybe actual mismated #PinkySox I've worn, along with my official fansite card.

19. Most visited webpage:
Pinky blog. Wait, you mean what I visit most? I've lived in youtube since 2006.

20. Nicknames:
Ok, so the guy before me was Nicholas Cage... j/k

21. Relationship status:
If we glance across all the medias, I have pretty stable relationships with most of my connections, although cousins and people who get too close seem to get loaded onto giant rubberbands and shot into space sooner or later, so we'll just call it complicated.

22. Zodiac sign:
They're trying to tell me I can't be a scorpio any more.
Your life is a lie: The zodiac has changed — here's your (new?) sign

23. Male or female:
I'm so glad I'm not married to the previous survey taker. I'd hafta slap him for being too cliche'd in the I think I'm cute department. What was the question again? Oh, yeah, I love androgeny and asexuality. I was really into Taelons in the series Earth: Final Conflict. Believe it or not, some of us have been gender-conscious for decades before the current generation showed up.

24. Height:
Oh, here we go, I'm getting some chocolate chips. Srsly, I can't even think about going back to sleep yet. I'd love to talk it out but hauling people out of bed at midnight to talk about old PTSD triggers is frowned upon as dysfunctional.

25. Do you have a crush on someone:
Yes. I blame these guys.

26. Piercings:
These are the next suggestions after that last vid. I wanna know why Benny shows up in so many weird places.

And, honest opinion, *not* the BEST VIDEO EVER. Just saying.

27. Tattoos:
I'm actually starting to get sleepy. This was a good idea.

28. Strong or Weak:
Tea or coffee? Or something else?

(and she went away and didn't come back for days)

Now it's June 26th.

FIRSTS

29. First surgery:
Since my parents failed to do anything about me dramatically flailing in wallowing pain, I had to wait till my wisdom teeth grew in.

30. First best friend:
A little girl from India who could barely speak English. We shared a swing and joyously counted to 20 between trading off. I loved hearing her count.

31. First sport you joined:
Voluntarily, right? Is Red Rover a sport? Because I turned it into a sport, kinda on the level of roller derby but with more flipping.

32. First vacation:
I never took a real vacation in my life until I met @bonenado. I was hiding how ill I felt (spoonie on antibiotic) and the resultant crabbiness had him threatening to just leave me in a strange city. I've been super honest ever since, and he's never left. Our kids discovered heated swimming pools and we like to never got them out. The zoo was really cool but the heat was wicked. I about died going up the arch because super claustrophobic, heights problem, the arch swaying in the jet stream...

33. First school:
A pricey kindergarten because back then schools didn't have them. I was in trouble con-stant-ly.

34. First pair of trainers:
Right. I got three pairs of shoes at one time my entire childhood- church shoes, school shoes, and play shoes. I wound up with the cheapest sneakers available and wore them till the soles flapped, and it never slowed me down climbing trees and jumping fences and wrecking my bike.

WHICH IS BETTER

35. Lips or eyes:
I just discovered Top Blog Directories To Submit Your Blog To and am finding out one can pay search engines to pump up their search cred. I'm just shaking my head. You know the big money makers are all about lists, right? Lotta lists and all kinds of ads and popups everywhere. That's the problem with the digital age, all the app creators and money bloggers are clogging the servers up with digital money changing accounts. Wait, what was the question? Lips or eyes... Here's a good one. Check out this guy's eyes. Hang in there to the end, I laughed so hard.

36. Hugs or kisses:
I guess this which is better is about potential love interests and not food. Bummer. I think they should get more detailed with the questions, like which is better, sunburn hugs, or morning breath kisses.

37. Shorter or taller:
This is pretty important if you're planning on riding a horse and get queasy over heights and you're not used to a live beast you're on doing whatever it wants if you don't know how to control it. I slid off onto a gravel pile once and bruised up my whole rib cage. I couldn't move for hours. I tend to go for the smaller horses since then.

38. Older or younger:
The only older pet I've had was a chicken. All the rest managed to croak off or get killed long before their expiry dates.

39. Romantic or spontaneous:
Neither. God help the soul who crosses my path and feels a compulsion to seek out my company.

40. Sensitive or loud:
Neither. Don't touch me and don't talk to me. lolz Actually, I'd prefer a scifi junkie who doesn't mind a lot of DVR pausing to pursue major discussions and likelihoods and diving into frenzied IMDB searches. Incidentally, @bonenado is cool with that and also doesn't talk much during TV, although he does tend toward interactive if the action is too intense. I've learned not to sit too close.

41. Hook-up or relationship:
I told @bonenado as long as I have good internet and decent satellite or cable TV, I'll follow him anywhere.

42. Shy or outgoing:
Can we get past this real life stuff now? We're in the digital age. You should be asking keyboard or audio chat.

HAVE YOU EVER

43. Kissed a stranger:
Here, we go, confessions. I like kissing and stuff, but I'm really not into poor mouth hygiene, so I draw the line at double arm's length away from strangers. I know that seems anti-kissing, but it's really about being a germ phobe, totally different thing. The real question is whether you'd give mouth to mouth to someone gross and whether you'd fail the faith in humanity thing because of it.

44. Gotten a speeding ticket:
Even better, I've gotten to ride home in the front seat with highway patrol because I was too wasted on meds to make it in to work. I got caught driving too cautiously and slow.

45. Lost glasses/contacts:
Let me count the ways my glasses have been busted. Smashed in the face by a dodge ball, dropped on driveway chat after a screw fell out, rolled over on in my sleep, stepped on when I was looking for them in the dark, so many ways I've destroyed my expensive eyewear.

46. Sex on first date:
I can't even imagine that.

47. Broken someone’s heart:
Left and right in a variety of ways, I'm sure, but it probably had more to do with me being oblivious than anything.

48. Been arrested:
I'm so surprised I haven't been. Most people think I'm joking. I'm not joking.

49. Have you turned someone down:
The stupid thing about that is it makes people try harder, like it's a game to win or something. That's when I wind up doing something mean and instantly get hated for life. It's like ripping off bandaids, just yank those suckers off right away.

50. Fallen for a friend:
I'd make a good dog, I fall for anyone with food.

51. Moved out of town:
I'd love to move to a new country every year, see what the world is like besides on my TV.

BELIEVE IN

52. Miracles:
Pretty sure what you're doing right now is a miracle. You can call it science and think it's mundane, but something in my head going into your eyeballs over time and distance is a miracle, is it not?

53. Love at first sight:
So many times. Mostly with food, horizons, galaxies, books, the high blue sky above a desert, forest in the moonlight... Humans are made to fall in love, I think, we are so easily enamored of things we see around us.

54. Heaven:
I don't think it's what a lot of people think it is.

55. Santa Claus:
I didn't find out there was a Valentine fairy till after I got grown up. I felt so gypped.

56. Kiss on the first date:
@bonenado and I didn't kiss till our third date and that must've been the magic number.

57. Angels:
I don't think they're what some people think they are.

58. Yourself:
I can always count on me to keep my sox washed.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY

59. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time:
I'm currently binge rewatching The Guild. I'm in a weird place. It helps.

60. Been in love with someone you couldn’t be with?:
My whole life is about not being able to be with people I love. If I could move to Houston right now I'd be with my Batman.

61. Ever cheated on somebody:
I just fixed a blogger stat cookie problem on a different blog, so I guess I just totally cheated on all you guys.

62. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?:
As I wrote in another survey- All the way. All the dang way.

63. Are you afraid of falling in love:
Fear the evil villain falling in love...

64. Was your last relationship a mistake?
I accidentally created a monster.

65. Do you miss your last relationship?
Oh, are we only talking about love interests? I count anyone who looks at me weird in a pharmacy line as a relationship. Wait, that's a brief encounter. Or are those when you actually talk out loud to someone? I get all these things mixed up. At any rate, if we are doing 60 in separate cars on a highway and neither one of us suddenly mangles the other up, I call that a successful relationship.

66. Who did you last say “i love you” to?
I say I love you willy nilly. I don't keep track of these things.

67. Have you ever been depressed?
*looks at wrist* All my life. I've been told I'm not maniacally depressed, but people are still afraid of me.

68. Are you insecure?
Is it odd that I'm more insecure about who can get into my stuff in a digital game than who can get into my stuff in real life?

69. How do you want to die?
I *DON'T* want to die. Also, I don't a freaky stalker taking this seriously and granting my wish if I actually describe the kind of death I'd prefer over another kind of death, capiche? Good lord, people.

70. Do you bite your nails?
I keep them mowed so I won't. I've bloodied myself ripping hangnails out by the roots.

71. When was your last physical fight?
Moc mob spawning all over me out of the blue affects me very physically, so pretty much every day. Gotta keep that ol' adrenaline exercised.

72. Do you have an attitude?
I keep attitude by me in a snack bowl. Always there when I need it.

73. Twirl or cut your spaghetti?
I haven't had pasta in years. I miss it, but not the 30 pounds I've totally kept off since I stopped eating it.

74. Do you tan a lot?
What is up with all these real life questions? Doesn't anybody making surveys ever do anything else online besides make surveys?

75. Ever eaten food in a car while someone or you are driving?
A better question would be ever eaten in front of a woman in labor. Yes I have. Don't do that, btw. It's not cool.

76. Ever made out in a bathroom?
Dear previous middle aged survey taker- This question didn't ask for your entire history of bathroom sex. Yes or no would've sufficed, like so many of your other very boring answers.

77. Would you take any of your exes back?
Most of them are still arm's length.

78. Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
Number 62 covered this. And yes I totally would, as many times as I could to as many places as I could.

Coming back to this at 6 a.m. on the 28th of June.

79. What are your plans for this weekend?
@bonenado's stepdad passed at home last night. I'm going to spread rumors about the woods being haunted now.

80. Do you type fast?
I keep saying I'm going to leave all the typos in one of these days. I type at ludicrous speed with both dyslexia and nerve challenges in my arms/hands/fingers. Sometimes even I don't know what I thought I was doing.

81. Can you spell well?
I used to be the person you'd automatically push into a spelling bee, but since the big brain crash in 2004, I've had to look up lots and lots of words that I used to know, over and over and over. I can't seem to retain the spelling. It's like I went dyslexic. I'm like that with numbers now, too.

82: What are you craving right now?
Chocolate chips. I've sworn off nachos and chocolate chips this month, my last two major carb vices. My coffee is screaming for chocolate chips in my mouth this morning, which I very rarely do, but this morning needs help.

83. Have you ever been on a horse?
On Mo Creatures you can get on a horse, a zorse, a winged horse, a bat horse, a fire horse, a fairy horse, and all kinds of other things like ostriches, scorpions, winged panthers, elephants, dolphins, etc. I have a horse named Westley (from Princess Bride) and a fairy horse named Smoak (from Arrow). I haven't saddled my ostriches yet, and my dolphin swam away in the ocean, so I may hafta get another one.

84. Would you live with someone without marrying them?
These kinds of questions are so vague, like it automatically assumes sharing living space with a love interest. There are very few people I allow into my home, much less cohabit with, so this question is fairly moot, even though I am actually married. I once had a roommate many years ago who thought it would be funny while she was at work to call the cops and complain about my loud partying, and they really did show up around midnight and dragged me out of bed, and I was obviously not partying. I swore off sharing living space with ANYONE after that who didn't pass a rigorous testing period, and that meant years later that @bonenado had to get an apartment near me and then wait 3 years to marry me. That is how seriously I take cohabitation. I don't share space easily. We have clearly demarcated and practically police taped DO NOT CROSS lines of each other's junk we don't touch, even after nearly 24 years of marriage.

85. What’s irritating you right now?
Nothing. I'm in hardcore aspienado shutdown. It's not the same as feeling numb, more like being in a deprivation tank. I'll deal with my feels later.

86. Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurts?
That constant ache which lends to the overarching existential dilemma, yes.

87. Does somebody love you?
Apparently, because they keep coming back.

88. Have you ever changed clothes in a car?
While driving. My talents used to be endless. I'm not that bendy any more, and my cognitive response time is laggy.

89. Milk chocolate or white chocolate?
Survey taker before me- "Despise milk as a drink. Coffee, juice, water or soda for me." Um. Ok, this is probably how you failed tests in high school. Keeping in mind I'm going through and deleting middle age responses before I come up with my own responses, boink that, I love milk. I grew up on fresh cow and goat milk, you can make tons of stuff with it like puddings, soups, sauces, cheeses, need I go on, and it's pretty awesome as a side with a snack. I've also lost weight drinking it in a probiotic protein mix, so there.

90. Do you have trust issues?
I don't trust anyone at all. I never have, never will. Being public has been a huge leap for me, and access trust in game is as angsty for me as real life is. @bonenado is the same way. I have never breached his internet perimeters, partly because I find fantasy baseball excruciatingly dull, but neither have I ever known his password to his league because he probably fears retribution if he ever irks me badly enough. I'm not into that kind of sabotage, although I am very capable of it. I appreciate that he's never tested me like it's some kind of game to see how upset I'll get. I'm not sure anyone else would have survived me this long without significant grudge holding.

91. Longest relationship?
I believe I've mentioned the African dwarf frog that was left behind for college and I kept cleaning the tank until one day I woke up and realized I'd had that frog in my house for ten years, and promptly tossed it off the deck to a chicken.

92: Do you believe your most recent ex thinks about you?
All the time. And not because I have a narcissism dx. I can see the stats.

93. Have you ever walked outside in your PJs?
And I've slept in my clothes, I thought we got past all this back in the 1960s. Oh yeah, that's a lost piece of history to the Gen Xers. Weird to think of Gen Xers being middle aged now.

94. Do you believe everything happens for a reason?
Previous survey taker- "I don’t believe we’re controlled." Answer the question, dammit! Ha, finally an answer that provokes actual thought, although it still lacks substance. Some of you know how I feel about synchronicity. That doesn't mean someone is at the helm controlling #allthethings. It means we synergistically fit into each other's lives, and I think that's a pretty good reason for things happening.

95. Did you have dream last night?
All the years I've had vivid dreams and no one ever actually asked this on a survey. Now I'm on CPAP completing dream cycles and waking up naturally not remembering my dreams and NOW this question shows up. I'm going to go take a shower.

96. Have you ever been out of state?
Ug, super ticked right now. Another blogger fail. The comments on another blog sit in pending until I do something, like publish or delete, but there is also a 'not spam' option, right? I wanted to send a couple of comments that got auto filtered into spam back to 'pending' and possibly even publish them, but clicking 'not spam' just made them vanish, like they were deleted. I'm so pissed. The only options I had in the auto filtered spam were 'not spam' and 'delete'. Super fail, blogger, SUPER. FAIL. They were legit and valuable to me.

For you gamers out there, that's the equivalent of your fave pet glitching out of existence and admin saying they can't replace it. The frustration is very real.

97. Do you play the Wii?
Ok, we finally get to a gaming question, and it's so lame my brain fell out. Starting to wonder if this survey was created from a women's prison. That would explain the rabid length and the weird cut off number. If internet time and accessible websites were restricted and monitored, I can totally see clinging to a survey creation site as long as I could, and under pressure so I'd have to slap out the questions without getting to take my time and glance at a television and snack and text my way through it. Hmm.

98. Do you like Chinese food?
I love dipping spring rolls. Now I'm wondering if prison food ruins Chinese food. I mean, if they have food theme days, right.

99. Are you afraid of the dark?
It's weird reaching a place in your life where you realize the stuff inside of you is darker than anything around you, even when it's pitch black. I think we fear what is inside of us more than we fear the actual dark, but honestly, yes, I absolutely do not want to run into spiders in the dark so I usually have some kind of light. I was cured of walking around in the dark even in my own house when I nearly stepped barefoot on a spider as big as my foot, and I'm totally not kidding about that. I live in Mirkwood.

100. Is cheating ever okay?
Now it's July 3rd. Is that cheating?

101. What year has been your best?
Probably the one where I realized I am who I want to be, not who people say I am. I think I was about 11.

102. Do you believe in true love?
I can't decide if the previous person failed to get the question or settled for wrapping a tiny brain around immutable circumstances. I think the more important question is whether true love believes in us. And the answer is necessarily yes. Which moots out everything else you think about it. It's not like we have to make a logic proof out of it.

103. Favorite weather?
Inside a temp controlled building.

104. Do you like the snow?
I love looking at it through windows or in pictures.

105. Do you like the outside?
I would love the outside if I didn't burn immediately and snot up over everything and wasn't carrying around a positive Lyme marker. I do actually miss it, though.

106. Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?
No one ever calls me baby. I'm not the sort that word springs to mind around in any context.

107. Have you ever made out for more than a half hour straight?
*looking at watch* I kinda like the sprints.

108. What makes you happy?
When peace and quiet reign over my immediate environment for longer than 5 minutes. (Can you tell I'm really tired today?)

109. Ever been to Alaska?
I keep actually facepalming over the previous answers. I've caught myself actually really doing it 3 different times now, putting my hand to my face to rub my forehead and close my eyes. I wish just once I would run into a survey where the person before me was actually having ~*~fun~*~ filling up time answering mundane questions. I also want to know why Alaska? What is so exotic about Alaska that no one ever says Hey, ever been to Maine? Ever been to Kentucky? Ever been to see the twine ball that Weird Al sings about?

110. Ever been to Hawaii?
Grrr. People who know anything about anything are wowed when I say I've been to the Cliff Dwellings.

111. Do you watch the news?
All I have to do is pull up a search bar in any browser or social media to have anything breaking shoved in my face. People still sit and watch news?

112. Do you love MTV?
People still watch MTV? lol Actually, season one of The Shannara Chronicles aired on MTV. For those wanting to continue following, it's imperative to know it's moving to Spike TV for season 2.

113. Do you like subway?
Years ago I thought I did, but honestly, it was never quite what I wanted. If I could get in there and build my own, fine.

114 Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?
Definitely created in a rush from a prison. And the previous answer looked like it was caught pretty flat-footed. That wily honesty, gets you every time.

115. Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?
He'd better like me, or I'll stop doing his laundry.

116. Why did you decide to do this quiz?
Someone's been in counseling, I see. I really should have been paying more attention, I'd probably get clues why this survey creator is in prison.

117. Have you ever seen someone you knew and purposely avoided them?
I got right in his face and he still avoided me. #awkward... Ex-coworker I didn't get along with (ok, I reported him for hiding merch from a regional visit instead of failing to get it tagged and onto the floor because he tried to blame it on me being a lazy lead and it backfired on him being an incompetent assistant manager to the point where they had to promote him right out of the store, and *bing*, there he was, some kind of lead or assistant management in Walmart) (more like a big step sideways and maybe a rung or two down in life after several years), and if I know my store policies, associates are supposed to acknowledge customers. I practically stepped into a tango with the guy and he still managed to get around me and pretend I wasn't there. In all honesty, it was one of those sudden lame oops moments, and in even more honesty, I haven't set foot back in that particular Walmart since. I don't usually reach that level of bad blood with people, but I will definitely stand up for myself to any boss shoving their crap over on me to shine better to people above them. So, person who answered this question before me, how do you feel about those vague brief answers now? Shame on you.

118. Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?
I want to meet the person who answered before me. I usually want to meet the survey creator, but this guy has got me fascinated. I want to know every detail of his apparently very confused average IQ on the edge of jumping off a cliff out of sheer boredom life. He's NOT sounding adequately content, despite the brave attempts at the casual it's all good.

119. Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?
In my head or in real life? I could simply just say "Scott" and move on, like the guy before me wrote "my wife" and moved on. WHAT DID YOU SAY TO HER??? omg, I bet she hates you. You dropped her like a piece of furniture, dude. At any rate, Scott generally has to peel me off because once I start talking I don't always stop. I'm a living run on sentence.

120. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?
Oooo, wife vs mother, weighing options, and he bailed. He brought them both up. I'm calling this one guilty conscience pulled between two women. I wanna know what that deep convo was about. I personally could go into all kinds of crap of my own, but it's been so interesting here that I'd probably get shot on facebook.

121. Ever bought condoms?
I've made that mistake, yes. I've also learned not to shop for jeans, underwear, and socks. The occasional shirt is fine. Scott is a very picky guy. There are right and wrong shades of green, and I could go over a whole list, but it's ridiculous.

122. Ever gotten pregnant?
3 times. One baby. My endocrinologist thinks I carried to term against all odds. Pretty sure my entire existence is against all odds.

123. Have you ever slipped on ice?
Wait... that was too synchronous. It's almost like this guy is talking to himself. Did HE make up these questions??? O_O Wo. What if he's the one on a timer in a prison life marriage or something, being monitored and wrestling to get a mental grip. I wonder if his mom lives with him and his wife. That would be wild.

124 Have you ever missed the bus?
And he's got kids that missed the bus or something. I wonder if this is the big talk he got caught in between his wife and mom about. Maybe one is blaming the other for lack of kid control or something.

125. Have you left the house without money?
I'm not sure whether to start feeling sorry for this guy or what. I mean, obviously he doesn't get the TV after work if he's doing this. He should be gaming.

126. Have you ever smoked cigarettes?
Serious smoker, too. Money is tight, he's smoking. One of the reasons I quit was because I added up how much money I had burned up in a year and was appalled.

127. Have you ever smoked a cigar?
I used to keep a cigar in my panty and sock drawer because it smelled good.

128. Did you ever drink alcohol?
Oh yeah, this is about me now, not the previous survey taker. I've gotta stop responding to him. "Ever" is a dumb word. Anyone who has used real vanilla or accidentally swallowed Listerene has drank alcohol.

129. Did you ever watch “The Breakfast Club”?
A Breakfast Clubber, there we go. That says it right there. Me, I watched stuff like Star Wars a hundred times, you know? My marriage would never make it if Scott were a Breakfast Clubber. Dude who did this before me- There are these cool werewolf and vampire shows. Go watch those. Amazing how they take your mind off.

130. Have you ever been overweight?
I swear, he's both the question and answer person. It's bugging me. I've never seen a survey so personally synced before, like someone is having a convo with themselves.

131. Ever been to a wedding?
Freakin bored I am. That's Yoda talk. I wonder if Yoda was ever married...

132. Ever been in a wedding?
Super facepalm into my monitor, this guy's been a wedding DJ... Adam Sandler didn't exactly make it cool, dude.

133. Have you ever been on the computer for 5 hours straight?
I'M TELLING YOU. I wanna reach back in time through our monitors and squeeze some thoughts into his brain, like WHY AREN'T YOU GAMING OR LIVE TWEETING OR WATCHING YOUTUBES OR SOMETHING.

134. Did you ever watch TV for 5 hours straight?
There's that word again, 'ever'. Maybe I have, and maybe I haven't. Maybe I fell asleep somewhere in there. Maybe I got up a lot with the show paused. Maybe I forgot to come back and then rediscovered I was only halfway through a show when Scott got home from work. Maybe it took me 3 weeks to watch one episode of something because I'm the kind of person who doesn't sit and stare at a TV very well.

135. Ever kissed in the rain?
I've never made out in the bed of a pickup truck, or in a tent, or even just in the woods, which is really sad since my entire life has been spent around these kinds of things.

136. Did you ever shower with someone else?
Ah-HA. It wasn't his wife! Pretty sure he was needing to share a bare hint at a clue. Get it? Bare. Nevermind.

137. Did you ever fail a driver’s test?
Lame question. Of course I did. I wonder how many times I've answered this one.

138. Ever been outside your home country?
Ok, how does one 'sort of' have been in France without mentioning any other part of Europe or even any other continent besides North America? You know what, I should really pull my psychologist in on a survey sometime, just do one right there in the office with him, see what it's like bouncing my head around talking out loud instead of just to myself on a survey.

139. Ever been on a road trip longer than 5 hours?
Probably my 15th facepalm. What guy does not pee by the side of the road? I'm sorry, I think I've been sucked into the survey taker from a Bates Motel kind of story.

140. Ever been to a professional sports game?
I saw the original Harlem Globetrotters. Well, maybe the second incarnation with one or two originals still in. I think they're in like their 20th incarnation now, or maybe even split off into a franchise of Harlem Globetrotter groups. Kind of like the fake Beatles in Branson.

141. Have you ever broken a bone?
I've had days/weeks/months/years that felt like every bone in my body was broken. Then when I really did break a bone in my foot, I walked around on it for two weeks before I went in for an x-ray because I thought surely it would hurt more.

142. Did you ever win a trophy in your life?
Hang on, I'm going to get Scott to scratch my back.

143. Ever get engaged?
Wow, I actually came back.

144. Have you ever been on a diet?
I've let nachos and chocolate chips back into my life. I make even poorer choices without them.

145. Have you ever been on TV?
Yes, several times. I should leave you all hanging.

146. Ever ridden in a taxi?
I can't even imagine voluntarily getting into a car that numerous other people have been in. I still bugs me to sit on a couch in my psychologist's office that hundreds of other people have sat on.

147. Ever been to prom?
"Yes. I took Bobbi Hibbits." So close to Bilbo the Hobbit... I was hoping there was finally a good answer in here. My prom story is stupid and already crabbed about in another survey under the 'childhood' section.

Prom sucked because I had to wear an ‘old lady’ church dress with long sleeves and my mom picked me up before the dance started.

148. Ever stayed up for 24 hours or more?
I had a euphoric episode that lasted 12 days. I didn't sleep.

149 Have you ever been to a concert?
No one ever brings up the children's concerts that tour to promote television shows, like Raffi and the Wiggles. I've been to a children's concert that was NOT any of those guys. I was vastly underwhelmed.

150. Have you ever had a crush on someone at work?
I have crushes on just about everyone at some time or another. I think it's part of my crazy brain chemicals bouncing around.

151. Have you ever been in a car accident?
If you're new and don't know, I'll indulge you enough to say yes.

152. Ever had braces?
I'm trying to get to 167. There are fireworks going off at a neighbor's house and Little Einsteins on the TV and it's almost 11 p.m. I think Bunny fell asleep so there's not much keeping me up now.

Now it's July 29. That's right, another month just flew by.

153. Did you ever learn another language?
I looked up 'giant space crickets' on google search because a really big cave cricket bouncing around my kitchen this morning seemed inspiring. I take back everything I ever said about our crickets being ginormous. Feel free to plug that one in and get sick. I'm not even going to link it, so you're taking full responsibility for your own actions here.

154. Do you wear make-up?
Let's immediately divert to youtube, shall we? I like this song.

By the way, if you are wondering "zucchini???", it all started in comments here. You're welcome.

155. Did you ever have your wisdom teeth taken out?
These kinds of questions make me wanna reach through my monitor through time and change them, like this one could be Did you ever dream you'd sneeze your dentures out? Cracks me up when I see someone do that. He shall remain nameless.

156. Did you ever kiss someone a different race than yourself?
So like I'm a human race kissing an alien race? I can't be sure. Most of it's pretty blurry.

157. Ever dyed your hair?
Wo, dude, guy before me remembers the YEAR, musta been stellar. My own dye fails are too boring to even mention.

158. Did you ever wear someone else’s clothes?
Can't. Take. This.

159. Ever ridden in an ambulance?
Very seriously, I can tell you many things about ambulances, their staff, their components, and how the only way you can get comfortable is to go unconscious. I should write up a FAQ sheet about what to expect on your joy ride.

160. Ever ridden in a helicopter?
I can't any more. Gotta bail again. So close to 167.

Now it's July 31st.

161. Ever caught the stove on fire?
Since I know people who have not only done this but seriously burned themselves and/or their houses, I earnestly prayed early on in this house for it to be protected from ever burning, and there have been several times I've been extremely thankful it hasn't, because it certainly could have.

162. Ever met someone famous?
I'm not good at this. I don't know how to gush properly. I also suck at small talk. It gets weird and awkward very quickly because I auto-assume everyone is a normal person and I have no social skillz. I've breezed right by famous people like they weren't even there and never blinked an eye. You'd fall over if I ever made a list, and most of it was very accidental. However, I've gone a little more in-depth on Pinky blog at I'll make you famous.

163. Ever been on an airplane?
My first airplane ride at 17 was in a private plane that spontaneously changed flight plan without reporting so we could shortcut over a mountain range. The turbulence was insane, and I watched my uncle fight to stay in the air while he handed me two puke sacks to fill up from a very expensive lunch he'd fed me just before takeoff. Ever since then I've had to be drunk or fairly heavily sedated just to walk onto a plane. I'm not fun to fly with. Oh, and I have a peanut allergy, so one flight I was on some guy behind me griped all the way to Houston about not getting any peanuts. I really don't wanna die on a plane.

164. Ever been on a boat?
Not crazy about boats, either. Big water under me brings out all kinds of life preservation anxiety.

165. Ever broken something expensive?
It's ok.

166. Did you ever kiss someone before you were 14?
Ug, this is stupid.

167. Did you ever find something valuable on the ground?
This finally concludes one of the most boring dragged out surveys I've ever done. I cannot believe the person before me took himself so seriously and never broke out of lie detector mode.

Original from- Remember The MySpace Survey? Here's One I've Done

survey from November 21, 2007

2016-11-11T06:11:00.001-06:00

From a private blog. This is how I got through stuff before I had twitter. This was just before we found out I had a very nasty cytomegalovirus infection that took me down for months. It's a mono strain that can hit your liver like a freight train, so basically it was like having hepatitis with a lot of complications.

I started this at 5 a.m. this morning. It's now 1 a.m.

1. What was the highlight of your day?
Getting to sleep for 3 hours before I woke up coughing. Later on my highlight will be seeing my family over the hills and through the woods. I'm pretty excited about that.

2. Who's car were you in last?
I was in my baby Lamborghini ripping up the road to the doctor. Unmedicated, for a change. Totally at one with the broken CD player and Star 105.1 .

3. When is the next time you are going to kiss someone?
Scott gave me a teeny quickie kiss on the way out. He keeps forgetting I'm lethal, toxic, and poisonous and keeps doing that.

4. What color shirt are you wearing?
My favoritist old raggedy black t-shirt in the whole world. I'm not going to throw it away until a nipple actually shows.

5. How long is your hair?
Still way above my waist. Waaaay above. I won't be able to make a ponytail for months. Possibly longer.

6. Last movie you watched?
The Kingdom of Heaven, with Orlando Bloom and Liam Neeson and many other biggies. I thought they did a really good job on the war.

7. Last thing you drank?
Hot honey milk. Did you know honey bees were European and near Eastern before they came to America? One brave bee named Christopher C. drew up a plan for world dominance, and their Queen, Isabee, approved.

8. Last thing you ate?
About 5 hours ago I was finishing up cashews, cheese, and crackers.

9. Where did you sleep last night?
I was really hoping to get more sleep than this. I took some benadryl, maybe I'll get a quick nap in before I have to leave later. I'm having to sleep on the couch lately so I don't choke on my own phlegm.

10. Are you happy right now?
No one ever asks me if I'm thrilled. How come no one ~ever~ asks me that?

11.What did you say last?
I'm sure someone's got it on record somewhere. I think it was 'see ya' or 'you too' or something as Scott walked out the door. Maybe you can google that if it's so important.

12. Where is your phone?
Do phones have GPS tracking systems in them yet? I know the CTU people in 24 can track cell phone signals, but that's only if they're actively being used.

13. What was the last museum you went to?
My room is a lot like a museum after an earthquake. Antiquities in piles all sliding back out of order.

14. what color are your eyes?
I will be so surprised if I find out later they're not really brown and that I've been delusional all this time.

15. Who came over last?
We can always count on Twinkles.

16. Who are you talking to?
Very surreal. My first thought was, who are YOU? You know you're a hermit when you really think you're having a conversation with a survey.

17. Who/what do you hate/dislike currently?
Sinus pain and pressure *can* be your friend if you'll just give it a chance.

18. What are you listening to?
Predawn Weather Channel music, but they keep interrupting it to talk about some places having snow.

19. If you could have one thing right now what would it be?
3 more hours of sleep. I think I'm going to stop for awhile and try laying down again.

20. What is the best smell.
::11 hours later:: Ok, I'm back. My most favorite smell ever is the smell of newly made alfalfa hay bales in the night air mixed with the smell of my dad's sweat. I hope heaven smells like that. At least for me.

21. Who is always there when you need someone to talk to?
I never lack for a survey. No matter how badly I suffer and moan, the survey people always spend quality time with me. Like now, for instance. My right ear is hurting SO bad, it feels like the eardrum is going to violently explode and the wall will be spattered with inner ear fluid. I won't go into other details of sinus and respiratory infection right now. But the survey stays through it with me, steady as a rock. Nearly everyone else leaves the room gagging when I go into detail.

22. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Drugging myself into a stupor and praying for sleep. At midnight, and I distinctly remember this, I was uncontrollably hacking what felt like chopped vegetables out of my chest and thinking how sharp some of the pieces felt. Kinda like a cement contractor had been mistakenly called in, and now we're breaking up the new sidewalks in my bronchials with jackhammers and flinging the shards willy nilly into the upper stratosphere.

23. Are you left-handed?
Do you think it's odd that very few people care if I'm right-handed?

24. What's for dinner tonight?
Scott's on his own. If I'm lucky I'll get a piece of preformed caramelized pizza. (~later~ I wasn't lucky.)

Where did 25 go?

26. When is your birthday?
I so don't care right now. My ear thinks I should spit on this question. My ear is wondering why nobody cares, why isn't someone pouring some magical hot eucalyptus oil into it and topping it off with cotton? I'm telling my eardrum to just shut up and burst already, I'm sick of its whining.

27. Who was the last person to send you a text message?
Twinkles. The typos were pretty funny. I don't think she checks to see whether the automatic word thingy grabbed the right word.

Where did 28 go?

29. Where was the last place you went shopping?
I get my drugs at Walgreens. They may be maddening about a few policies, but I love their national database.

30. How do you feel about your hair right now?
Not a thing. It's about the only thing on my body not complaining right now.

31. Do you have any expensive jewelry?

I put together a really cool charm bracelet one year that retails for nearly $400 total. I'm afraid to wear it anywhere.

Where did 32 go?

33. Where does most of your family live?
This is something a stalker or killer would ask.

34. Are you an only child or do you have siblings?
I allowed my parents to continue procreating after they had me, but they had to agree to love me the most.

35. Would you consider yourself to be spoiled?
Is having to pull weeds all summer until your fingers callous a form of being spoiled? I won't go into the rest of the chores. Yes, # 34 was obviously tongue in cheek.

36. What was the first thing you thought when you woke up this morning?Quick, get to the bathroom before you hack up slime all over yourself, and actually, go even faster than that before the coughing makes you pee the couch. Nothing like coming out of a dead sleep in full blown cough spasm running through the house mode.

37. Do you drink beer?
If I had some hot beer I'd pour it in my ear and get it drunk so it would shut up.

38. Myspace or Facebook?
Youtube.

Where did 39 go?

40. What is/was your favorite subject in school?
My ear is reminding me how badly I hated history. I think it might have a gun.

Where did 41 go?

42. Do you have any hidden talents?
I think my greatest achievement is 20 years of severely chronic insomnia. I hide it well.

43. Have you ever been in a wedding?
My ear is demanding a wooden stake to drive through my eardrum. I offered a toothpick, and it threw a fit that it wasn't one of those colored party pics.

44. Do you have any children?
Do they count after they're grown up and gone?

45. Did you take a nap today?
This is probably the root of the ear problem. No, I didn't.

46. Isn't LOST an awesome show?
Call me abnormal for not thinking so, but it was like Gilligan's Island on acid. The extent to which the boundaries of credibility were pushed were like an experiment on my poor husband's brain. I watched him watching the show.

47. Do you want to be famous one day?
Just for one day? Depends. You know that kid that made the youtube about not picking on Britney? That rocked. I mean, to simply scream and cry at a camera for a couple of minutes like that and become such a big hit on world news, wow. You really have to admire the luck some people have. Nearly 13 million views and 186,000 comments in only two months and still rocking on. That youtube alone inspired a whole new genre of video response.

48. What do you say a lot?
My ear is now tanked on codeine and quietly contemplating whether the universe ever feels like bursting, and where exactly the 'drum' would be located.

49. Could you handle being in the military?
I suppose I'd be the world's fastest curl up and die recruit.

50. What is your average cell phone bill?
Scott takes care of that stuff. But he does fuss a bit sometimes about 411 calls, me suddenly sucking up his share of minutes after weeks of near inactivity, and reminds me that even receiving a text message eats up quarters. We don't text enough to warrant purchasing a plan, so I remind him that it's still cheaper than what it would have been with a plan. I'm not big on texting, but sometimes it sure comes in handy. Like when you lose your voice for 4 days straight during a really nasty chest cold.

51. Do you believe in Karma?
My ear is making monk cheese and humming to itself.

52. Ever been to Las Vegas?
It shows up on tv so much that surely that must count as a visit by now.

53. What are you doing today?
After a doctor ~~ORDERED~~ me to do nothing the rest of the week, I spent the day driving about 120 miles and hanging out in a nursing home eating turkey dinner. I felt so weak and wiped out that I just laid my head on my mommy's shoulder and told her I'm puny, I need my mommy, and she squeezed my finger.

54. Have you ever been gambling?
My ear says gamboling is good for the soul.

Where did 55 go?

56. Have you been to New York City?
I've watched Ghostbusters I and II a number of times. I feel like I have.

57. Have you ever been to Disney World/Land?
That is one of a long list of places I've never ever been to in my life.

58. Do you have a favorite cartoon character?
Darkwing Duck is dang cool.

59. Last thing you cooked?
Yesterday's roast. I think the drugs are about to take me away from you.

60. Stupidest thing you ever did with your cell phone?
No recollection of stupidity with my cell phone. I'm sure Scott would say it was dialing 411 to get a phone number I could have looked up in a phone book, and then not using the house phone.

61. Last time you were sick?
My ear says illness is all in the mind and offers you a piece of monk cheese.

62. Random fact about you?
I prefer briefs to thongs.

survey from 11-17-07

2016-11-11T05:10:00.001-06:00

I know right, how many of these things did I do in 07? Musta been a rough year. From an old private blog.

I give you money and send you into the grocery store to pick up 5 items. You can only pick one thing from the following departments.. what is it?

1. Produce: Depends on how the avacados look.

2. Bakery: I'm my own bakery, so I just nod and smile as I pass.
3. Meat: Close my eyes and throw a dart and hope it doesn't hit pigs knuckles. I can do just about anything with meat.
4. Frozen: I really like those TGI Friday's chicken quesadilla rolls. Remember that if I come visit.
5. Dry goods: We skipped canned goods and dairy, but ok, I'll take the ziploc quart sized freezer bags.

* Let's say we're heading out for a weekend getaway. You're only allowed to bring 3 outfits with you. So, what's in your bag?

1. pajamas
2. more pajamas
3. the really important thing is a variety of footies and sox, and cross your fingers I don't stain my one good t-shirt, which I may or may not have already worn to sleep in

* If I was to listen in on one of your conversations throughout the day, what 5 phrases or words would I be most likely to hear?

1. There's my chicken.
2. Eat spiders today, ok?
3. No egg? Oh, well, everyone needs a break.
4. Where's a good snake when you need one?
5. See ya later.

* So, what 3 things do you find yourself doing every single day, and if you didn't get to do, you'd probably be in a pretty irritable/bad mood?

1. I don't know about actual irritability or a bad mood, but I do enjoy my hot chocolate every morning.
2. I do like to spend a very quiet hour or two doing absolutely nothing but thinking. Disturbing my peace isn't suggestible, but I don't generally leave claw marks any more.
3. I do a little word construction every day, and I feel really weird if I skip it.

* What are 3 things that you have in your home that have been with you for the longest amount of time?

1. I'm about ready to burn this old couch
2. I can't decide whether to throw away a clay jar I bought from a college art dept fundraiser for $5 about 20 years ago. No one else wants it.

3. I keep promising Scott I'll go through all my old cassettes, and I never do.

* If you were only allowed to listen to 5 of your CDs for the rest of your life, never adding anything else, which 5 could you listen to & be content with?

1. Hilary Stagg's Dream Spiral
2. Fairies in the Moonlight from Hallmark

3. Weird Al's UHF soundtrack
4. A Night at the Roxbury soundtrack
5. Eiffel 65's Europop

* You're driving down the road, and suddenly you're hit with this sense of road rage. What 3 factors probably contributed to it?

1. I don't get road rage
2. I'm too laid back to get road rage
3. Actually, I'm so chronically lazy about getting emotional about much of anything while I'm driving that I usually don't even blink when other people drive really stupidly. I EXPECT other drivers to be absolute idiots, and I drive as if anyone at any time is going to do something idiotically stupid and cause my death. I give everyone around me plenty of room.

* Sweet, you just scored a whole afternoon to yourself. We're talking a 3 hour block with nobody around. What 5 activities might we find you doing?

1. laying in bed
2. laying on the couch
3. sleeping in bed
4. sleeping on the couch
5. making some really good food

* We're going to the zoo. But, it looks like it could start storming, so it'll have to be a quick visit. What 3 exhibits do we have to get to?

1. That's ok, I'll stay in the car and drive on by.
2. I had a little too much zoo when the kids were young.
3. I'll never forget spending an entire hour watching a hippo do nearly nothing.

* You're hungry for ice cream. I'll give you a triple dipper ice cream cone. What 3 flavors can I pile on for ya?

1. The closest I came to actually wanting ice cream this fall was ONE root beer float.
2. When I was younger I lived on ice cream, so I think I'm burned out.
3. One summer I ate it 3 meals a day and put on 20 pounds.

* Somebody stole your purse/wallet ... In order to get it back, you have to name 5 things you know are inside to claim it. So, what's in there?

1. dental floss (never leave home without it)
2. a smashed mini snicker bar

3. a ziploc sandwich bag with about 65 cents of loose change in it. People at registers love that, we can see at a glance whether I've got the right change. Some of them crack up.
4. a tiny unmarked container holding a variety of curious looking colorful pills

5. and if that doesn't do that trick, there's always my passport, checkbook, license, insurance cards, library card, a prescription bottle, and probably a dozen doctor receipts with my name on them

* You are at a job fair, and asked what areas you are interested in pursuing a career in. Let's pretend you have every talent and ability to be whatever you wanted, so what 3 careers would be fun for you?

1. video store clerk

2. chicken farmer
3. benadryl and codeine test subject

1 If you were to attend a costume party tonight, what or whom would you go as?

I'd probably wear my old lounge pants and a ratty t-shirt and some fantastically super soft footies that I could slide across the room in, in the event of linoleum or hardwood floors.

2. What are your choice of toppings on a hamburger? And do you prefer gas or charcoal grilling?

Miracle whip and Heinz ketchup are all I need, and I could care less how it's grilled, unless it's raw or burnt crusty. But I DO prefer ground sirloin in a 96/4 kind of ratio, basted with a little butter, no seasoning unless you mix a little Wort sauce into the burger, and the bun has to be fresh. Sesame seed buns rank 5 stars with me. If we go anywhere beyond that, I like a really young red onion sliced paper thin, home grown fresh lettuce, a sparkling hint of pickle, and quite possibly a slice of American or Swiss IF I'm in the mood. This should all be embellished with a chilled organic root beer and sides of baked beans and french fries, and I HAVE to have honey on my fries.

3. You are chosen to have lunch with the President. The condition is you only get to ask one question. What do you ask?

I think I'd ask him what his favorite breed of chicken is, and I'd bring a catalogue of breeds in case he's not up on what all is available.

4. It's your first day of vacation, what are you doing?

Every day is my first day of vacation nowadays. Today I am jacked up on codeine because nothing else is touching this miserable chest cold and how bad my throat hurts. I lost my voice yesterday. Scott says I sound scary. It's actually not been too bad, relatively speaking, compared to the occipital neuralgia I've been going through for the last month. It's even been a bit of a treat, being able to feel something different, and I've been enjoying the vapo-rub, cough drops, ben gay on my chest, hot cloth around my neck, and sounding like a frog that got squashed by a 4 wheeler. Brings back memories of growing up without doctors and having olive oil forced up my nose to coat my throat and hot eucalyptus drops and cotton in my ears. Only this time it's much better because I have codeine. Life is good.

5. What is your concession stand must-have at the movies?

Bottled water and nachos. When Scott is with me we eat a gallon of popcorn, too, but I don't get into his twizzlers and whatever else he buys. I really don't know where he puts it all.

6. Which do you dislike most: pop-up ads or spam email?

I don't even think about it. I don't care.

7. What do you think Captain Hook's name was before he had a hook for a hand?

I think someone is really reaching now to come up with some questions.

8. Rock, paper, or scissors?

You know, it took me a couple of years to even understand the dynamics of this problem-solving game. I even looked at it anthropologically and got into the history of picking straws, rolling dice, and tossing coins, all of which were supposed to help decide persons or events when time was short, logic failed, and the fates took over what was not fair. I never play rock-paper-scissors, but I love how it is used quickly in tv shows and movies in drastic situations. Aspie on the case here...

9. How long was it from 'the first date' until the proposal of marriage? How long until the wedding?

Three months, and three years, respectively. He's the spontaneous one, I'm not.

10. Which is worse, being in a place that is too loud, or too quiet?

Depends on what you think is loud. I would rather tolerate loud machinery than a hundred people talking all at once. Conversely, I always have to ask the manager to turn the sound system down at a movie theater, but I have difficulty hearing one person talking if they are moving around. Weird, huh? It's all in the auditory processing and tolerance level. As for quiet, what is too quiet? I can hear things most people can't seem to, like very distant sounds, very slight sounds, sounds many people take for granted and don't realize are there. I don't think there is such a thing as too quiet, at least for me.

11. What is one quality that you really appreciate in a person?

Honestly, the people I like best are the ones who aren't afraid to make jokes and laugh about how weird I am right to my face, because it really breaks the ice and then we can talk and laugh about anything in the world. Once I get going, I really love talking to people and enjoy them being themselves, but if we have to play some stiff little social game or emotional head game, that really kills the joy of being on this earth and sharing ourselves with each other. And since I'm otherwise such a hermit, I take enjoying people while I can very seriously.

12. At the good old general store, what particular kind of candy would you expect to be in the big jar at the counter?

Have you ever tasted old fashioned horehound? It's a ~weed~ that you soak the flavor out of and add a lot of sugar to, and they sell it in candy sticks. Who in the world ever thought to make candy out of that was mental. Just google horehound, it's famous all over Europe and America for being the weed full of tiny little prickly seeds that are impossible to get out of your sox.

13. What is the most distinguishing landmark in your city?

Karst topography. Granted, that's not really a distinguishing landmark, but it certainly gets a lot of attention when houses and parking lots suddenly cave into underground caverns in areas where building permits were freely handed out before zoning laws went into effect.

14. Everyone hears discussions that they consider boring. What topic can put you to sleep quicker than any other?

Shopping...

15. How many times did it take you to pass your drivers test?

I actually failed, but they passed me anyway, first time. Talk about luck, eh?

16. If you had to have the same topping on your vanilla ice cream for the rest of your life, what topping would you choose?

Sorry, I'm not into ice cream enough any more to justify even metaphorically choosing.

17. What food item would need to be removed from the market altogether in order for you to live a healthier, longer life?

I can't decide if I'd rather lose bacon forever, or cream cheese.

18. You are offered an envelope that you know contains $50. You are then told that you may either keep it or exchange it for another envelope that may contain $500 or may be empty. Do you keep the first envelope, or do you take your chances with the second?

I hand the envelope back. There *has* to be a catch somewhere, and I'm not greedy enough to make a fool of myself.

19. If you had to choose, which would you give up: cable TV, or DSL/cable internet?

I don't have either one. If I had to choose between dish and broadband, I'd take the broadband, because I could always download the shows I'd be missing.

20. What is your highest level of education?

Either 193 or 196 credits, I don't remember. I admire people who have 500 or more. If there were one thing I could go back and redo in my life, I'd make a sport out of acquiring as many credits as possible, the way people collect McDonald happy meal toys and Barbies and stuff. I wouldn't even care if I got multiple degrees out of it. I just really really liked college.

21. How much is a gallon of gas in your city? What was the highest it's been?

It's still cheaper than a gallon of milk, so I'm not too worried about it.

22. What kind of lunch box did you have as a kid?

Red plaid... One of those ironic metal lunchboxes picked out by my mother. I was the only kid in the first grade that I know of carrying a lunch box that mimicked a piece of cloth instead of a cartoon.

23. What would you rather have, a nanny, a housekeeper, a cook, or a chauffeur?

I read stuff about rich or famous people having to support an entourage of staff around them at all times just to keep up with their lives, and I don't know that I could ever live like that.

24. Would you rather be trapped in an elevator, or stuck in traffic?

Traffic. I'd rather have to pee on the side of the road than on the floor of an elevator.

25. Lets say a brick fell on your foot, and your kid is standing right next to you, what is your 'cleaned up' swear word?

I automatically do the geez and dang thing anyway. If I automatically F it, it's *really* bad, and no one bugs me about it while I'm in the moment. Might hear about it later, but I don't care.

7 things survey

2016-11-11T04:54:00.000-06:00

From a private blog on 11-15-07.

SEVEN THINGS YOU WILL FIND IN YOUR ROOM:
1. at night there's a fuzzy guy in there
2. sometimes I lay there and stare at the light and watch the ladybugs crawl around in the fixture
3. one time I woke up and there was a scorpion in the fixture, and it dropped off onto the bed
4. of course I freaked out, wouldn't you?
5. nope, I never found it. Those little critters are fast.
6. now there's a squirrel living in the walls, gnawing on the studs
7. this is the price we pay for building a new house in the woods

SEVEN RELATIONSHIP QUESTIONS:
1. do you like someone? No, I hate everyone. Of course I like someone.
2. does someone like you? He bought me french toast one day. If that's not like, what is?
3. who was your last crush? The 'was' is throwing me.
4. have you ever been lead on? Naivete is my forte.
5. have you ever been cheated on? We all know about the insurance lady *wink wink*
6. do you want to be in a relationship? Really takes the work out of being ultimately responsible.
7. do you wanna get married? You mean ever again? I might be allergic.

SEVEN THINGS YOU CANT LIVE WITHOUT:1. I assume you mean totally not bodily related, like ear wax
2. I also assume you don't mean medications
3. I think I would definitely have to have sox and a toothbrush
4. hot chocolate would be tough to not wake up to
5. toilet paper
6. I think I would miss the whole holiday retail commercialism thing if it all went away, even though I don't support it.
7. I suppose I should mention that I couldn't live without Scott's health insurance. Him... ok, I'd like to keep him around, too.

SEVEN THINGS ON YOUR MIND:
1. It's really bothering me that I can't remember my dream from last night. I'm pretty sure there was a mind blowing revelation in there somewhere.
2. There must be about 50 birds at the feeder, looks really cool.

3. I might have to go back to bed.

4. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rmULz03wdQ0
5. If that doesn't take your mind off everything else, nothing will.
6. I wonder how many people roast turkeys straight out of the wrap without removing the giblets first. Sorry, free association, kinda leapt over from the elephant there.
7. I've never done that, but if you wanna read some crazy hilarious turkey hotline stories, here you go. http://www.snopes.com/holidays/thanksgiving/turkey.asp My faves are the guy wanting to baste his bird with motor oil, and the chihuahua getting stuck inside a turkey.

SEVEN OTHER THINGS - DO YOU:

1. Believe in God? Try telling him you don't, haha. Look, if he's been around in some form or another since the dawn of mankind, how in the world do you think you can possibly eradicate him by not believing? You can be mad at him all you want, but sooner or later you're gonna feel really alone and wish him back. This life is not what you think it is, and so very temporary.
2. Had a dream come true? A metaphorical dream, or a real asleep dream? Both, actually, but they're not the sort of thing I want to talk about.
3. Read the newspaper? Newspapers are like eggs. There are plenty around to buy, but what they were made for is not always what they are used for.
4. Pray? When prayer moves beyond conscious effort to unconscious reflex, you've reached the elusive and much coveted state of spiritual being that no spa can duplicate.
5. Have a best friend? With great health insurance, yes. Always good to have a best friend with benefits.
6. Had braces? I had successfully blocked that from memory until you asked.
7. Wish on shooting stars? I wished not to DIE when it was coming right at me...

SEVEN THINGS IN THE LAST 48 HOURS HAVE YOU:
1. Cried? Rats, I forgot. I'll make up for it later.

2. Had fun? Oh, the neurologist was ~real~ fun. I can't tell you how much fun it is to be told how to run stupid experiments on yourself. Can't wait to tell my psychologist I was told to sit in my car for 2-3 hours and NOT drive and ~try~ to get a headache...

3. Been kissed? Rather reluctantly, it seems, and not because of my breath. He uttered a faux pas that left us both stunned and reeling and wondering how in the world we were going to gracefully get past THAT one. Gotta love spontaneity. I'm pretty sure it'll blow over, now that I've sworn off mutilation and flaying my victims.

4. Felt stupid? Nope, although I do remember feeling unjustly invalidated from several sources. I tend to think others are stupid before I feel stupid myself.

5. Talked to an ex? Shoot first...
6. Bought anything? I paid an extra 20 cents NOT to get tots with my cheese coney. It's really backward how fast food deals work in this country.

7. Used chap stick? I prefer gooey petroleum products to wax.

survey from November 14, 2007

2016-11-11T04:26:00.000-06:00

Ran into this on an old private blog.

1.) When you walk in your front door, which room do you enter?We built our house backward, so that the back of the house is to the front yard, and the front faces the woods and has a really great view. So we come in a 'rear' door right off the driveway to the laundry room and kitchen. The actual 'front' door is never used, being on an odd side of the house flipped away from the driveway, and the livingroom opens up onto a really cool deck. We think it's funny when various business people recognize the layout is backward and go completely out of their way to walk around the house and find the front door way on the other side when all they have to do is go to the nearest door to the driveway, but apparently they have some kind of stigma about using a back door. I think the house itself feels a bit indignant about that, too, because sometimes it sarcastically replays heavy footsteps coming up around on the deck, and we look everywhere and walk outside, and no one is there at all.

2.)Do you have a dishwasher?That's me!

3.) Is your living room carpeted or does it have hardwood floors?I will never forget waking up one morning to Twinkles and her little glue project. A giant bottle of glue soaking into the carpet... I've given her one of those mom 'blessings', where I wish her to have a kid just like that so I can laugh some day.

4.) Do you keep your kitchen knives on the counter or in a drawer?
They are *everywhere*. They start out clean in the drawer, they wind up hanging out on the counters making friends.

5.) House, apartment, duplex or trailer?I've lived in all but a duplex. I've even lived in yucky cheap hotel rooms. Lately it's been this big house. Not humongously big, but very tall. Like stacking a ranch up like blocks.

6.) How many bedrooms is it?

Three, but that doesn't stop us from sleeping all over it. Couch, floor, basement... I think Twinkles has even fallen asleep on the kitchen floor and the stairs.

7.) Gas stove or electric?

After having gas in an apartment and trailer, I'll always stick with electric. When you barely catch a small child plop a toy right up next to a burner full of flames, you get some pretty vivid scenarios going in your head.

8.) Do you have a yard?

And 4 acres of woods, yes.

9.) What size TV is in the living room?

19". We have the smallest and most ancient tv of everyone we know.

10.) Are your plates in the same cupboard as your cups?

No, and I guess it weirds the guests out. I've given up trying to explain that glasses and mugs are more logical on the side next to the fridge and plates on the side next to the microwave. Whatever. It's my house, not theirs.

11.) Is there a coffee maker sitting on your kitchen counter?

No, we have the hangy type, very convenient.

WHERES #12

Maybe it went down the garbage disposal. No, I don't have one of those.

13.) What room is your computer in?

This is getting really boring.

14.) Are there pictures hanging in your living room?

I'm in the process of stripping the walls bare so Scott can repaint if he wants to.

15.) Are there any themes found in your home?I always thought it would be awesomely cool to get one of those wall sized murials of space or a scifi movie scene, but Scott said no...

16.) What kind of laundry detergent do you use??

I'm actually not using any today. I got caught up on the laundry over the last two days.

17.) Do you use dryer sheets??

If you had asked *did* I use dryer sheets, I would have answered, yes, I did.

18.)) Do you have any curtains in your home??

It is unbelievable how dusty lace curtains get, and how hard they are to put back on the rods after you wash them.

19.) What color is your fridge??

Why are there two question marks going now?

20.) Is your house clean??

It is devoid of teenagers. Now it's just us old folks. The smell is infinitely better, and the type of clutter has definitely morphed into something that makes more sense.

21.) What room is the most neglected??

It is impossible to neglect a square inch of this house with Super Scott around.

22.) Are the dishes in your sink/dishwasher clean or dirty?

Finally, back to one question mark. I allow NO dishes to sit in the sink. My sink always stays clean, and the dirty dishes are rinsed to put on the counter next to it. There is nothing nastier than trying to wash one's hands or do something else with water over a sinkful of nasty wet smelly dishes. I've head cooked in high traffic restaurants. You don't mess with my sink.

23.) How long have you lived in your home?

171 months. If you are obsessed enough with my house, you'll do the math.

24.) Where did you live before?

That's exactly what government census wants to know.

25.) Do you have one of those fluffy toilet lid covers on your toilet?

I have a very expensive soft toilet seat from Lowe's. I believe comfort is more important than decor.

26.) Do you have a scale anywhere in your house?

Everyone's ticked that the new scale added five pounds over the old one.

27.) How many mirrors are in your house?

I don't care.

28.) Look up. What do you see?

Define 'up'. I glanced vaguely upward. Spongebob glanced vaguely downward back at me and smiled. That's all you need to know.

29.) Do you have a garage?

Scott dreams... I hear about it *all* *the* *time*.

30.) Are you planning on moving anytime soon?

We could move at the drop of a hat, or we could be here another 30 years. Depends on how much more I can tolerate Scott griping about the neighbors. Have you seen Deck the Halls? Scott could EASILY be both those guys.

desperately seeking surveys survey

2016-09-15T05:42:00.000-05:00

From a private blog, originally posted on 10-30-07.

1. Have you ever thought about getting your lip pierced?
About 3 or 4 years ago, I think, I thought it would be tasteful to get a dainty gold hoop to put around the middle of my lower lip, but I never did it.

2. Does a kiss make your boo boos feel better?
Being a germ phobe, if your mouth comes anywhere near my wound, you're going to get a boo boo yourself.

3. Have you ever passed out on the bathroom floor?
In spite of being inebriated enough to have alcohol poisoning in my youthful past, I've never lost consciousness. Of course, you're talking to the person who woke up in the middle of heart surgery to talk to the doctor, which freaked him out pretty badly.

4. Do you start the water before you get in the shower or when you get in?
I'm no fool.

5. What did you do today?
Technically, we're speaking of yesterday, since I'm up at 2 a.m. from a Lyrica buzz. I went to the chiropractor and told him of my descent into the depths of hell, whereupon he ~gently~ cracked my bones and cured me, had a most excellent workout, hit Walmart and stocked up on goodies for salsa and 7 layer dip (I'm craving avacados), came home and watched Mystery Men (again, geez, aspie rut), conked for a couple of hours, got up and made meatloaf and mashed potatoes, watched Chuck and South Park while we toggled to the Packer game, and talked to my sploit on the phone. What did YOU do?

6. Have you ever brushed your teeth while in the shower?
Intriguing question. I believe I have, because a latent memory popped up, but it must have been long ago enough to not be able to tag why.

7. Have you had more than 3 boyfriends/girlfriends at the same time?
Willy Wonka and Eddie Izzard fight over me, the rest don't get my time of day. Jack Sparrow is a little ticked about that, but he doesn't brush his teeth, even in the shower, so he grosses me out.

8. Have you ever thought about your death?
I was born thinking about my death.

10. Do you like someone?
I like Scott a ~lot~ and he can hardly peel me off. He lately complained to his mother and sister that all I want any more is sex, and they both laughed and said yep, that's the right age...

12. What color is your shower curtain?
My shower *doors* are blurry-clear, which is cool when I walk in on Scott taking a shower.

13. Have you ever had stitches?
I *should* have gotten a couple of stitches when that manikin hand struck my face, but my boss was a jerk and patched it up like I was a football player and sent me back out on the floor. Everyone said I looked pretty impressive.

14. How long ago did you hug someone?
Scott peeled me off before we went to bed, so it's been about 5 hours now.

15. Did you believe that boys/girls had cooties?
~ALL~ people have cooties, that's why I don't let just anyone kiss my boo boos.

16. Do you know how to use chop sticks?
Interesting things happen when I use chop sticks. Food and sticks alike take on a life of their own.

17. Lyrics stuck in your head?
"Me, I'm horny don't you know, my love I want you so... Sugar, you make my soul complete, rapture tastes so sweet". Poor Scott. I'm in an iiO universe lately.

19. What are you doing tomorrow?
My list consists of calling my heart dr. to move an appt, making apple crisp before the apples rot, cleaning out my fridge, doing dishes and laundry, and probably working out on the bike and taking another nap. I'm also thinking I'd like to get some more hot chocolate mix made and maybe start on some peppernut dough. I'd like to have several gallons of those made by holidays. I have a much longer list on stand by, but I feel no urgency to prove anything to the world at large. And who knows, maybe I'll get a notice from the library that my book loan is in, in which case I'll be driving in to town to pick that up.

20. Who was the last person you couldn't take your eyes off of?
Wo, the answer to this before me was a bit shocking. Talk about honesty with attraction to children. Ick. Kind of pales MY answer, which would be Eddie Izzard.

21. Have you ever given money to a homeless person?
I've been a homeless person. Thankfully it didn't last real long.

22. Have you ever run over an animal?
Ok, here comes another list... Sorry, don't want to gross anyone out, but when you live in raw hills and forests, you tend to take out the local wildlife. I've hit two deer, a couple of bobcats mating (highways are so convenient for mating), a wild turkey that spread out across my windshield and nearly made me careen off a twisted road on a hillside, actually sliced a small dog in half and exploded a cat (I will NEVER understand pets running right out in front of traffic like idiots), several dozen birds, snakes, and a turtle. I once sluiced through an already dead skunk by accident. Never do that. Ever. You drive with your head out the window for miles. I think I've hit a raccoon, too, but the armadillos and possums were all smart enough to evade me. Funny, the 'oldest' species are the best at survival in the modern world.

23. What is your favorite cereal?
Cheerios. No matter how bad I feel, I can eat Cheerios.

24. Have you ever had an Oreo with peanut butter?
I'm not an Oreo person.

25. What are you doing right at this moment?
Letting Scott sleep undisturbed.

26. Do you think its right for straight guys to get their tongue pierced?
I think ANYONE getting their tongue pierced is asking for rot and infection. I once saw this girl's tongue, it was so infected it was BROWN.

27. Where’s your favorite place to be?
Deep in my head. Never a dull moment in there.

28. What's your favorite song?
I'm on strike. No more favorite song questions in surveys.

29. Are you more of a coffee or alcohol drinker?
Hot chocolate. We're a cultish breed.

30. Have you ever thrown shoes on a telephone wire?
People are idiots. I was once in a car with some kids who decided they were hungry and took a loaf of bread, a jar of miracle whip, a knife, and some bologna from one kid's house. After the sandwiches were made and stuff was done passing around the car, one guy rolled his window down and chunked the rest out. I'm thinking ok, ~here's~ a guy who will never survive a future calamity because he has no forethought. What if someone wanted a second sandwich? Duh. Likewise, it's pretty standard around here to see lone shoes on the highway in the spring.

31. Have you ever been skinny dipping?
Have you seen what hangs out in untreated water?
32. Have you ever climbed up a water tower?
I let the maintenance guys take care of that, saves me a lot of time and energy.

33. Do you dream in black and white?
Occasionally. I've also dreamed in cartoon and video game.

34. Do you talk in your sleep?
Unsuccessfully. Unless I'm speaking French and Scott just can't understand me.

35. Do you snore?
Everyone snores, most people just don't wake themselves up doing it, so they never know. What's interesting is when you hear someone stop breathing because their tongue is in the way and it takes forever for them to breathe again.

36. Have you ever thought about being a model?
There's way more to life than walking a runway and freeze framing. I want to create the parts that models fight over when they turn to acting.

37. Are you a redneck?
I can't quite get the hang of it.

38. Funniest thing you heard all day?
People freaking out over Cartman's Halloween costumes.

39. Have you ever gotten a mosquito bite on your face?
Must we dredge up old memories? I bury things for a reason, you know.

40. What are you afraid of?
I think the freakiest dream I've had lately was having a pet spider, and even though I was repulsed, I let it sit on me and talked to it and coaxed it to do things. In real life they DIE.

41. What does the 10th text message in your outbox say?
I'm not going to wake Scott up unplugging my phone just to find that out.

42. What does the 10th message in your inbox say?
Ditto.

43. Do you like someone?
Gee, that was # 10. What gives?

44. Do they know you like them?
He complains about it, yes.

46. Can you recite the alphabet backwards?
Ok, *must* *kill* survey maker... Really reaching to make 50 here.

47. Whats your middle name?
Gar-Halloween-field. Ha, remember that one, sploit? Wonder what happened to that old cartoon.

48. What's your profile song and why?
Paint it Black. It was an impulse.

49. Need to get something off your chest?
I have a deep lack of caring about many things in life, such as politics and kittens. No offense to anyone, but I grew up soaked in both. Now I'm on vacation.

50. How do you feel about your life right now?
It's 3 a.m. and I need SLEEP.

another Halloween survey

2016-09-15T05:32:00.001-05:00

Just ran into a never before publicly published Halloween survey from Oct. 22, 2007.

Halloween Survey

Ghosts or Goblins?: Vaporous apparitions, all the way.

Zombies or Vampires? The dark glasses and coolness really do it for me. Tux is optional.

Witches or Hags?: Gothy slutty witches.

Werewolves or Frankenstein?: I must choose between 3 Franks-- Casanova Frankenstein, Dr. Frankenfurter, and Gene Wilder's Frankenstein (don't forget to pronounce that correctly!) I think I'm going with Cas this year.

Black Cats or bats?: Both. I once saw a cat catch and eat a bat.

Trick or Treat?: Depends on who or what knocks on my door... heh heh.

Candy Corn or Candy Apples?: Apples candied in red hots and butter, smells wonderful.

Pumpkins or Squash? Pumpkins, but I'm not adverse to spaghetti squash if anyone wants a duel.

Orange or Purple lights? Orange is fine, all purple is super funky. I'm not crazy about them mixed.

Toads or Spiders?: ~ew~

Lanterns or Lit Pumpkins?: Both!!!! And luminaries, and spooky glow lights.

Skeletons or Mummies?: I like them naked.

HALLOWEEN QUESTIONS:

What were you last year for Halloween?: Absorbed in a live Ghost Hunters episode. Sorry, world at large, I wasn't in costume of any kind.

What are you going to be this year?: I'm thinking about being Eddie Izzard. My hair cut is amazingly close to his this year, what a fluke. First time I've ever had hair this short. Now, the question is-- executive transvestite (can a woman pull that off???) or mascara facial hair (very 3D) like Doug Rich might have shaved a couple of days ago?

Favorite costume you have ever worn?: My brother's Planet of the Apes mask, on which my glasses fit perfectly, so I looked like the scientist ape. Unfortunately, I had to give it back to him to trick or treat in.

How do you spend your Halloween?: In the days of yore, I drove the getaway car while we got pillowcase loads of stash. Later on I wound up working or watching the door while Scott did the chauffeur duties, and this year I will glue myself to the tv watching Ghost Hunters again.

Are you or are you not going trick or treating this year?: Might be funny to go next door in my beard...

Did or do you pull Halloween pranks?: Oh, yeah, one year was so awesome. We had this huge bowl of candy that we mixed in old broken crayons and stupid McDonald's and Sonic toys and cheap mardi gras beads and misc. Barbie shoes and accessories and all kinds of stuff in, you know, little rubber snakes and plastic bugs, just junk from when the girls were little, and I heard we were the coolest house on the street that year. Another year I handed out bitter baking chocolate, I'm so mean. Last year we ran out of candy so I handed out hot chocolate packets. I've been known to toss some pretty bizarre things into the sacks. Really old Easter and Christmas candy...

Do you believe in ghosts? I kind of wonder sometimes if they ask each other, "Do you believe in humans?" It's strange that we assume 'ghost' automatically stands for 'deceased human'. We just lump everything weird into 'ghost'. But nearly every house I've lived in has been strangely beset by unusual and sometimes quite surprising things, and one I visited that scared me half to death turned out to have been a murder site, so yeah, I think there's cool weird stuff going on.

Are you superstitious? Always go to the bathroom before you set out on an adventure. It's bad luck to get nervously gassy or soil yourself. You wind up alone in the back of an old pickup freezing half to death. I've learned this from experienced wise people who pass stories down through the ages.

Do you like caramel popcorn?: The very best caramel popcorn I ever ate in my life was homemade, but I've never tried caramelizing it myself.

Have you ever gone in the country to look for pumpkins? You'd be surprised what comes up in your own back yard after a good pumpkin smashing.

Have you ever been on a hayride? You ask this of a person who used to be involved in hauling hay... I'd call that a big yes. But you mean a Halloween hayride, right? Always good to know a farmer with a tractor and a flatbed. Around here the really famous hayrides are done by old drunk Amish guys who try to scare the kids by making the horses go up and down these crazy inclines at weird angles on dark and blustery creepy hillsides. Here they are going 2 mph and it scares the snot out of the kids. I'm sure the horses wish they'd roll off.

Do you decorate your home for Halloween?: I used to try. I fail miserably at Halloween decor. When we were kids, my parents had this big black iron pot like you cook outside in, and they filled it with dry ice. That was cool. I never went out of my way to do much, although one year we did try to make a little grave in the yard. But now I have a couple of nice sets of Halloween mugs to drink my hot chocolate from. Very satisfying.

Have you ever been to a haunted house?: Yeah, but I'm not crazy about them. I've known people who would run and slam into walls so hard they'd hurt themselves, and one girl even broke her braces, but I'm more likely to punch people. You really don't want to get in my face and make me scream. I have reflexes.

Have you ever been to a graveyard on Halloween? I have no idea. I remember partying in a graveyard and sticking my cigarette into a kid's eye when he tried to pull me down for a tiny teen gang rape *rolling my eyes*, but I can't remember if it was anywhere near Halloween. I wobbled into the house and flopped onto my bed. That's all I remember.

Have you ever attended a Halloween party?: I think the coolest Halloween party we ever had was at our own house when we were kids, surprisingly. We rarely got birthday parties, but I remember a couple of Halloween parties my mom threw that were the bomb.

Do you watch scary movies on Halloween? I'd rather watch Halloween cartoons, like Bugs Bunny hanging out in the old castle singing Abra Cadabra.

Have you ever had your candy stolen from you?: Scott is a sneaky guy. I once got ONE bite sized snicker out of an entire bag. Couple of days later, it was just gone. And he stole all my vanilla tootsie rolls out of my tootsie roll bag last week.

Did you ever steal any ones candy? Pilfered. I pilfered tootsie rolls the whole time the kids were growing up.

Has anyone ever gotten hurt due to your prank?: I don't think so, but since I spread my pranks out year round, and since I get away so I'll never get caught, it's hard to tell. I heard a mild car wreck was involved once, but that may or may not have been my fault, and I was miles away by that time.

Have you ever dressed as a witch/warlock?: No, 'fraid not. Some day I'd like to dress up as a gypsy fortune teller, though, and be devastatingly beautiful, sexy, and mysterious.

Are your parents into Halloween?: Mom used to be, Dad was usually against it. He takes devil stuff pretty seriously.

Do you know someone who was born on Halloween? My parent-in-laws' wedding anniversary is on Halloween. They don't do anything special, in anticipation of your next question.

HAVE YOU EVER:

Passed out candy?: I pretty much have to, since I'm not licensed to resell.

Bobbed for apples?: I was really good at that once I figured it out.

Gone to a pumpkin patch?: We accidentally raised a tiny little wild pumpkin patch and got a real pumpkin out of it one year.

Hosted a Halloween Party? I'm not as insane as I look.

Attended a Halloween Party?: Always good to leave cleanup with another host.

Made pumpkin pie?: I love hot pumpkin pie fresh out of the oven. I bet it would be good with ice cream.

Raked leaves?: Briefly. I saw big spiders and no other point to it.

Watched the Travel Channel with the Halloween specials?: That was about as bad as watching home movies. Maybe I caught a bad production, but I've never been back.

HAVE YOU SEEN:

Amityville Horror?: I'm a virgin.

Halloween?: I'm innocent.

Last House On The Left? Never even heard of that one.

House Of Wax?: Sorry.

Tales From The Crypt? A couple.

The Exorcist?: I tried. I was at a friend's house. I fell asleep and missed most of it.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre?: No, but I knew a guy who took the front door of his house down and replaced it with a fake plywood door, and when a bunch of kids knocked, he fired up his chainsaw and sawed through the door. They ALL ran screaming and never came back.

Pumpkinhead?: Nope. I seem to have missed some classics, eh?

The Sixth Sense?: Ok, I've seen that one. Is that considered a Halloween movie?

All or any of the Nightmare On Elm Street?: Once again, I'm pure as the driven snow.

Practical Magic? Are you making these up? I've never even heard of it.

Any or all of The Simpsons Halloween episodes?: Now THOSE I never miss.

The Munsters?: I had a crush on Eddie Munster when I was a kid. I know, I go from Eddie to Eddie. I've done this my whole life. Except for Billy Mumy. The only Billy in my life.

The Addams Family?: I would love to have a pet named Gomez. By the way, I stuck that extra D in there for ya because it wasn't spelled right. My very fave scene out of all the movies is when Debbie bursts into their house, cocks the rifle, and yells "In-laws!!!!" with a big smile on her face.

Elvira?: I own that one. Love the punked out poodle.

The Lost Boys?: Keifer made a pretty good vampire, didn't he?

Contact?: Um, no.... How about Hypercube? You may as well mention a really outrageously weird movie like that one.

Hocus Pocus?: Oddly, I actually like that movie.

Edward Scissorhands?: I'm sorry, that's about as unHalloweeny as it gets, and I weep at the ending, and why in the WORLD didn't you ask about Sleepy Hollow????????? Who is grasping at straws here? I love Sleepy Hollow, that one was amazing.

Friday the 13th?: *yawn* No.

Childs Play?: Virgin deluxe, I just don't have the patience for cheesy thrillers.

The Shining?: Not even Jack himself can get me to sit down for that one. How about Secret Window? Or From Hell? Or The Ninth Gate? Man, these questions are seriously lacking some outstanding Johnny Depp thrillers.

Salems Lot?: No, sorry.

Fright Night?: No. Ok, we could have more to choose from, like Teen Wolf, or Blade, or Van Helsing, Corpse Bride, or Nightmare Before Christmas, so why in the world is this survey suddenly stopping here? Gee whiz, not even a mention of Ghostbusters. And by the way, my very fave author in the entire world having anything to do with witches and death and vampires and zombies and all the stuff is Terry Pratchett.

Every Halloween, wherever I have my blog (it moves around), I post this link to the funniest movie review you ever read in your LIFE.
Grand Wizard

Go read it RIGHT NOW.

After that go watch this movie and then join me in costume. I've got dibs on The Spleen.

Mystery Men (1999) Original Theatrical Trailer

entertainment survey

2016-09-15T04:57:00.000-05:00

Originally published on 10-14-07 on a private blog.

I had one of my 'split shift' nights again last night where I sleep for two hours and I'm up for three before I go back to bed. Surveys kinda help with that. This one was more grueling and less fun, but I guess it's all down for the record now.

The Recreation Survey!

MOVIES
What was the first movie you ever saw on the big screen? You've gotta be kidding me. I have no idea. I bet it was Jungle Book or Dumbo or something, at the theater in town, when there were still concession breaks halfway through the movie. Or possibly Snow White or Sleeping Beauty. I think Maleficent was my very first enthrallment with villains.

Did you ever see movies at the drive in? Do you remember any of them? Nothing like being stuck in the car as a kid with a tiny little soundbox that didn't come in clearly. Other kids got to go play or buy things to eat. I was bored out of my skull. I could go on about the movies I saw, but I don't recall a drive-in movie ever being really enjoyable as much as 'magical' because we so rarely did anything like that. The magical feeling part was pretty cool.

As a child, what was your favourite movie? That was waaaaay before rented movies were ever invented, so I saw them once and that was it. I remember I thought Aristocats and Clint Eastwood and The Love Bug were pretty cool, but I don't think I had a fave. I do know, though, that my fave all-time score as a child was The Sorcerer's Apprentice, second fave score was Peter and the Wolf. We had an album collection that was pretty cool.

As a child, who was your favourite movie star? I really really liked Dick Van Dyke. I pretty much thought he was the bomb.

Do you own your favourite childhood movie on dvd? And do you actually watch it? No, I feel no compulsion to build up a childhood memories library.

When you reached your teens, what was the first movie you went to on a date? Date, haha, that's funny. I never went on a real 'date' until after I was graduated. I saw a movie with a gay friend when I was a senior, I think, but I can't remember what it was.

As a teen, who was your favourite movie star? Hayley Mills, but by then movies were coming on tv regularly. 'Made for tv' movies.

As a teen, what was your favourite movie? The original Pink Panther movie, with Peter Sellers, and Escape from Witch Mountain.

As a child or a teen was there a character in a movie you tried to be like? I remember wanting to be like Mr. Spock, but he wasn't in a movie back then.

What are a few of your favourite movies as an adult? Airheads, Galaxy Quest, Monsters Inc, Mystery Men, Spaceballs, A Night at the Roxbury, the Terminator series, Ghostbusters, Scrooged, Con Air, anything Star Wars or Star Trek, The Tuxedo, the POTC movies, the Austin Powers movies, etc.

Who are the actors whose movies you actively go to? Popping a major bubble here, I am no longer an 'active' movie goer. I see maybe one or two films a year on the silver screen any more. Part of the problem is the sound system. I am extremely sensitive to sound, and have had to ask management to reduce the noise level the last 3 or 4 times I've been there, as opposed to feeling my seat and chest vibrate every time there is an exposion or bit of action. That or being sandwiched between loud crazy people who smell 'creative', for lack of a nicer word. Now, if this had been a ~rental~ question...

What are some of the stupidest movies you have ever seen? I assume we're still talking theater experience. Scary Movie was idiotic in the theater. That was one of my bad experiences being sandwiched between college boys whooping it up like imbeciles for every sex related or nude scene. I mean, geez, guys, scream to the world how little you get in real life...

Who are some of the actors you would love to see retire? Julia Roberts. Sorry, Julia fans, but I honestly can't stand her.

What do you snack on at the movies? Popcorn, if Scott is with me. I kind of like the nachos.

Did you ever, actually, go to the movies and make out? The closest I've ever come to 'making out' at a movie theater was when a friend of mine decided to jump into the seat next to me from the back, literally. His big foot landed in about a gallon of Mt. Dew and soaked me. Don't know if you can call the heated intimacy of near death at my hands 'making out' or not, but we came pretty close to being thrown out of the theater.

Have you ever left a movie while it was still running? YES. Good lord, there are some crappy movies out there.

Are there movies you have gone to see repeatedly? The Tuxedo and the POTC movies, but only because I had the spare cash and the time on my hands.

What movie is currently showing or about to open that you are excited to see? I'm excited enough to wait for the rentals, but I'm considering making Sweeney Todd a silver screen experience.

BOOKS
Did your parents read to you as a child? Sadly, yes. My dad would read technical material to me while I doodled on throwaway papers while he did taxes or bookkeeping. My mom would read bible stories and then quiz me. Consequently, I now obsessively read shampoo bottles and can even pronounce all the ingredients, even in French. Okay, okay, I'm an avid reader.

Once you were old enough, did you read on your own? What is old enough? I couldn't read until the second grade, when phonics swept through in all the rage. Suddenly *bing*, I was reading anything and everything.

What books from your childhood left a lasting impression on you? David and the Phoenix, Rudyard Kipling stories, Tunnel Through Time, Black and Blue Magic, The Room.

Do you read, now? What genre of book do you read most often? I'm lately into biographies, and tend to go home from the library with books written by physicists and mathematicians, both fiction and nonfiction. For a time I dug up anything I could on ghost stories, past lives, and near death experiences. Dave Barry is also a favorite, and I love Terry Pratchet.

Do you own books or go to the library? I own many books from the past, but have learned to rely heavily on the library system to save me thousands of dollars.

Do you have any favourite authors? What about authors whose work changed your life? Madeleine L'Engle was probably the most life changing. I think I've read everything she's ever written. I also really dig Alexander Dumas. I read The Count of Monte Cristo as a pre-teen and was just wowed.

Name some books you could or have read repeatedly. Oddly, the Dirk Gently 'series', if you can call both of them that, by Richard Adams, the same guy who wrote the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy books. I really like Dirk. He's such an earnest fraud, and believes in the interconnectedness of all things.

Name some books you started but could not finish. The Barrow. Sorry, John. Yes, I know this author personally.

What book are you reading right now? I am currently on the hunt for Dress to Kill, a biography about Eddie Izzard. I'll probably have to request a library loan from another state.

TELEVISION
As a child, were you allowed to watch television? What did you like to watch? Lost in Space was a big favorite, and Star Trek. I'll never forget the first time I saw Frankenstein on tv.

As a child, were there any shows your parents actively discouraged you from watching? Anything and everything with even the slightest hint of sexuality (thanx, Mom) or anti-religious theme, which means I pretty much had to get pretty stubborn to see some things. I'm not sure how or when the science fiction started showing up in my life, probably around puberty, but once it was clear I was hooked, there was no stopping me.

If you have/had children, are there any shows that you would actively discourage them from watching? I raised my oldest daughter on David Lee Roth videos and Rocky Horror, and she turned out just fine. But yes, there were a few things I balked at. Like Jonathan Taylor Thomas... The torture of raising a child. I had enough of him to last me a lifetime.

Once you were old enough to watch something other than cartoons, what shows did you choose to watch? Since there were only 3 public channels at the time, I was stuck watching Jack LaLanne, soap operas, game shows, and the news, so I rarely watched tv as a small child. I do remember the original Batman series, though, which I really liked.

As an adult, what have some of your favourite shows been? Way too many to list, but some recent ones have been Jake 2.0, Dead Like Me, Odyssey 5 (glad to see SciFi pick that one up), and very recently with the new season I'm enjoying Reaper and Carpoolers. I was a big Farscape fan, I think that should be noted.

What shows do you watch, these days? Eek, just answered part of that. I also watch Stargate Atlantis and Bionic Woman.

Are there any shows you never missed an episode of, from the first to the last? Stargate SG-1, pretty much. Even when I did hotel desk work on late night Fridays I was able to catch most of every show, because it came on just before shift change and the hotel was usually full up by then.

Any shows that, when they went off-air, you were bothered about it, in any way? I was really upset when The Lost Room suddenly stopped after only 3 episodes, and screamed when Odyssey 5 was suddenly dropped. Harsh Realm, same thing.

Are there any shows you have bought or would buy on dvd? I've got the first two seasons of Arrested Development, but other than that, I don't collect tv shows. I also taped all the Sliders episodes, so I don't need to buy them.

Name the best tv show theme songs. Land of the Lost. I don't know why. That one has stuck with me forever. Corny, but true. Just about anything Sid and Marty Krofft really sticks with a person. The Kids from C.A.P.E.R. theme song was pretty cool, too.

MUSIC
If we opened your cd player or clicked on your ipod right now, what would we find you had recently been listening to? Rocky Horror soundtrack. Hey, it's almost Halloween.

What genre of music do you, most often, listen to? New age.

What genre of music will you never, ever, ever listen to? Country. Yes, they have some good songs out there, but I really can't take the mind set.

Will you tell us some of your favourite artists from the decades past? ELO, Doobie Brothers, Dire Straits, Lovin' Spoonful. You know, different, with their own sound, and no one else could ever copy them.

When listening to music, do you sing or dance along? I either clean house or spaz out.

Do you own any record albums? It's scary how many albums I own. I own the collector's album to the Kids From C.A.P.E.R. show, the soundtrack album to The Pirate Movie, full collections of classical and baroque, at least 20 John Denver albums, the Labyrinth soundtrack, and all kinds of stuff like Ric Ocasek, Prince, Elton John, Sammy Hagar, the ORIGINAL Sons of the Pioneers, Eddie Arnold, Bonnie Guitar, Johnny Mathis, and I won't bore you with all the rest. I think my sister owns all the Monkees albums ever made, among a variety of other things she likes.

Do you know what a spacer is? I think spacers are to keep large stacks of albums from leaning on each other so that the ones near the back with all the weight on them don't become warped.

Who is your very favourite singer? I have recently been enjoying Blu Cantrell, although that doesn't mean she's my all-time fave or that I favor her above others in my music collection. I think 'favorite singer' comes and goes as my moods change around. Like, once in awhile it's Big Bad Voodoo Daddy. Mood swings.

Whose work as a singer leaves you completely baffled? I don't dwell on bafflers.

Have you ever seen any famous singers live? Scarily, I've seen KC and the Sunshine Band. No, it did NOT rock. I've also seen (and met) C.W. McCall and Riders in the Sky, and I've been to the Andy Williams theater one year for my birthday. I used to watch his Christmas specials when I was very small, so that was kinda cool. There are a few more, but you wouldn't know them. I HAD a chance to meet the Ozark Mountain Daredevils and missed it.

Are there any famous singers you would like to see perform live? Weird Al would be awesome.

Can you name some of your favourite songwriters/composers? Hilary Stagg. http://www.realmusic.com/a_stagg.htm Dream Spiral is the most beautiful collection of pieces I've ever listened to.

Hilary had worked as a commercial diver in the North Sea, spending many, many hours underwater. He was also an avid scuba diver, so it's not surprising that Hilary's music is akin to floating in the ocean, wave after wave reflecting the spiral of life as our planet moves through the heavens. This is undoubtedly why Hilary's music is so perfect combined with the magnificent underwater footage on Starbrook's video, Real Sanctuary.
As he played and spoke about the harp, it was obvious that Hilary had tremendous respect for the instrument. "There is something about the harp that captivates not only the listener, but reaches a part of me as well that is difficult to describe or understand," explained Stagg. And when you listen to his work, it seems inconceivable that Hilary Stagg's musical journey was relatively brief. With fan mail pouring in regularly from a devoted following, many describing their healing experiences with the music, it's clear that Stagg's unique sound has a profound effect upon people no matter what their musical tastes may be.

Have you ever listened to or attended the opera? My mom exposed me to some opera on tv and the record player when I was very young, and I was fascinated. There are some pieces I've never seen performed but have been part of my soul since I was 4 or 5.

Do you play any musical intruments? If not, would you like to learn any? I no longer have any desire to play an instrument. When I was a teenager, I begged to learn 12-string acoustic guitar, I wanted to play Flamenco and classical guitar so badly. I got a 3/4 sized 6 string and sat in a stupid one semester guitar class in high school and didn't learn a thing. If I had been encouraged beyond this at ALL, I probably would have majored in music in college.

THEATER
Do you attend the theater where you live? I have a handful of times over the years. The best local play I ever saw was put on by one of the colleges in 'tent theater' during summer nights.

Do you like plays or musicals? Classics or contemporary? Totally depends on the story and who is singing... That's why I want to check out Sweeney Todd at the movies when it's released. I also saw the Phantom of the Opera at the movies a few years ago. Sadly, I have never seen a live performance or a theater showing of Rocky Horror. I LOVE Bugs Bunny renditions of opera and musicals.

Name some of your favourite non musical plays. I'm pretty sure I've seen a nonmusical play, but I'm sure not recalling any right now.

Now some of your favourite musicals. Grease, Rocky Horror, Cats (I've never seen that, but I love the soundtrack), Little Shop of Horrors, and there are a few oldies I recall seeing in black and white as a kid but don't know the names of. I also really like the Sammy Davis, Jr. version of Alice in Wonderland that was on tv many years ago.

Name some stage musicals that have been translated to movie musicals well. Ok, now this is becoming a college essay exam.

Now name the ones that didn't. I refuse to comply with the way the question is worded. I deal with personal preferences, not critiquing.

Name the stupidest plays (musical or non) you have seen. I have to agree with the surveyist ahead of me, Tommy is the stupidest. That's where the Pinball Wizard song comes from, if you don't know what that is.

Do you remember the first play you ever saw? Peter Pan with Mary Martin, I think.

Do you remember the last? It was a rock opera called Rain, written by a college student that my daughter was performing with. I thought they did a pretty decent job of it.

Name your favourite stage actors. Well, so many 'regular' actors either started out as stage actors or are going back to stage acting, this is kind of a toughie. Matthew Broderick, I guess, and David Johansen. If you don't know who David Johansen is, he's Brad in Freejack and the cab driver in Scrooged. http://imdb.com/name/nm0423774/ I caught a snippet of a stage performance he had been in on PBS late one night many years ago and was really impressed.

Do you dress up for the theater? Do you eat during the play? I don't go in a t-shirt, and I don't snack. Call me old school.

Have you ever forgotten to turn your phone off and had it ring during the play? No.

Do you have any thrilling moments from the theater that remain in your memory? I love it when the props don't cooperate and the actors have to carry on their live performance anyway. Like when a skull accidentally goes flying around or something. Great times. Mike Nelson has a really hilarious theater story in one of his books.

RANDOM
Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings: read the books or watch the movies? Ack, both of those in the same question. Ok, big LOTR fan here, read the books in high school and a few times since. Thought they did fabulous with the movies. Harry Potter, yes, read all the books, and I really think it would have been better off being treated as a series, instead of cramming and deleting so much in and out of the movies.

Just before bed: television or book? A snack and tv or the computer. It used to be stacks of books, and I still imbibe occasionally, but it's hard to stop and sleep. Harry Potter books are the worst for that because they're a thousand pages long.

Watch ballet or go dancing? I haven't done either in years.

Summer day: walk in the park or lie on the beach? Stay in my house out of the sun.

Best game show, now or then. I kind of liked the one where the contestant had to guess who the real person was after asking questions. "Will the REAL so-and-so please stand up?"

Do/have you read the Sunday comics? Which ones? I was a Sunday comic devotee all my life until Calvin and Hobbes left the scene. Now I briefly glance through now and again, but not regularly. Pearls Before Swine is pretty cool.

Sexiest scene put on film. Kevin Sorbo as Hercules or Kull. Any scene.

What magazines do you read? I catch up on magazines at the doctor's office. Occasionally I'll find a good one, like a scientific publication, or something with really expensive food.

Best television cooking show. Iron Chef.

Don't get any more cosmetic surgery!! I really don't care who does what, but Cher got a little obsessed.

Best Christmas movie. Jingle All the Way and Scrooged.

Best Stand up comic. Eddie Izzard.

What fictional characters would you just love to have come to life so you could meet them? I think it would be a blast to go out on a date with Tony P. from Mystery Men. I'd love to post a better screen cap of him for you, but that is one dang hard movie to find good screen caps of, especially with just Tony P. He's a wonderful twist on a totally funky disco henchman for the bad guy, and I love his suit in his final scene. These pics don't do him justice.

Museums--Let me at 'em or Yawn, bore me? Depends on the museum. 'Personal' museums are the best.

Best James Bond theme song. I don't care.

What a pig! I don't know the point of this one.

Best superhero in print, on tv or in the movies. The Spleen.

Best board game. Clue, because it was also a really cool movie.

In life: Watch or participate? Sometimes even instigate, heh heh.

26 questions survey

2016-09-15T04:12:00.000-05:00

From Oct. 12, 2007 on a private blog.

1. Peter piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, how much is a peck? I'm not going to tell you. Oh, okay, here.

1. Abbr. pk.

a. A unit of dry volume or capacity in the U.S. Customary System equal to 8 quarts or approximately 537.6 cubic inches.

b. A unit of dry volume or capacity in the British Imperial System equal to 8 quarts or approximately 554.8 cubic inches. See Table at measurement.

2. A container holding or measuring a peck.

2. What is your favorite caffinated drink? Hot chocolate, but I know my limit.

3. If you were an animal which one would you be and why? A dragon, so I could fly and burn things and be scary if I wanted to.

4. If you were out on the town, feeling hungry and your choices of restaruants were endless what type of eatery would you pick? I think I've tried just about everything, and I still would rather eat at home than anywhere 'out', unless it's with my sisters. If it's me and Scott, we are *jinxed*, we just don't get a break from weirdos, screaming babies, being forgotten, getting the wrong food, getting a really bad table, you name it, we've experienced it, no matter WHERE we go. Because of this, I insist on full service, an interesting menu, and a costly meal just so the heartburn will be worth it. And we always tip handsomely, no matter what. My belief is that we just happen to catch people on a really bad day, it's just our path in life to be the forgiving ones who don't make their days worse. And we usually giggle like maniacs through the entire meal because it's so outrageously stupid that we always wind up having really rotten experiences. We've been offered free food from management several times, and it was never because we complained.

5. How old were you when you learned to tie your shoes? Gee, who cares? I have no idea. It was traumatic, so I buried the memory, and I'd like to keep it that way.

6. What is your all time favorite movie? Airheads. You just can't beat that combo. Really wish they'd made a sequel.

7. Are you pushy and arrogant or quiet and humble? I am a chameleon. I think a lot of it depends on whether I care about how stupid other people are being. They reach a certain level, and I can't help it, I have to start making fun in an intellectually naive sort of way. I help them look as stupid as humanly possible by simply encouraging it.

8. Favorite summertime activity? I'm afraid this last summer it was doing a lot of drugs. Usual combo-- vicodin, skelaxin, prednisone, naproxen, librax, protonix.... I remember very little about anything last summer beyond ice packs and drugs. And youtube. What a lifesaver that was.

9. Favorite wintertime activity? Making cookies, eating cookies, decorating cookies, eating cookies, reading cookie recipes, eating cookies, looking at pictures of cookies, eating cookies... And sex when I can catch Scott in between sports and yard work. And eating cookies.

10. What was your favortie song when you were 13? Probably a John Denver song, or a C.W. McCall song. You rarely hear either one on oldies stations nowadays.

11. Who is your favorite music artist today? I'm gonna say John Sebastian just to throw everyone off.

12. Picasso or Monet? Edvard Munch. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edvard_Munch

13. Def Leppard or Motley Crew? Van Halen, Scorpions, Queen, Aerosmith...

14. If you could travel back in time where and when would you go? Do I get multiple jumps? Do I get gear so I can go back to the methane atmosphere days and see what the earth was like without it killing me? If I go back to yesterday will you give me some money so I can go to the theater? I've actually thought about this a LOT, since I was a young child. If I only get one chance to change a crucial moment in my past, I want to go back to middle school and kick the crap out of the girls who used to torment me. And I don't mean girls who called me names and laughed at me. I mean a gang of mean rough girls who made my life a living hell. I would really enjoy that, I think. And I would either be killed, seriously messed up, or thrown in jail before you'd be able to get me back, but I don't care.

15. What is your favorite quote? "You're wasting your energy attempting to force my cooperation. I have no sense of self preservation and can always be reassembled." --790

16. Bush or Clinton? What, for lunch? Are you seriously saying one of them is coming to my house? Ok, I guess whichever one has the cahonies to butcher, pluck, and gut a chicken. And just to make it interesting, it has to be the neighbor's chicken. I imagine Clinton would sneak over and steal it and get shot at and think he was having a good time, and Bush would walk over and hand over a hundred dollars and have the chicken handed to him, along with a recipe book and an onion, and he'd make new friends over it. Let's just say Clinton grew up in an area typecast for chicken thieving. Either way, what fun, eh? Nothing like a stinky, bloody mess to test a man's soul.

17. If you could live somewhere else other than the earth, in our solar system, where would it be? Does that mean I CAN choose a place in our solar system, or I CAN'T? That part is unclear. I assume 'living' somewhere other than Earth means I get all the goodies that go with existing in horrendous atmospheres and gravities. I think I'd rather be a free-floater, living in a habitat in its own orbit, with optional flying around the solar system at will kinds of parts installed.

18. Greens or Cabbage? Cole slaw, egg rolls, cabbage soup, sauerkraut, a nice little dash of purple in a salad. Cabbage and I get along ok. Greens is unspecified. Poke salat? Turnip greens? Spinach? If it's boiled up in a big pot with onions and bacon, I'm not touching it.

19. When you wake up in the morning whats the first thing that pops into your head? You know, I've answered this one in so many surveys, and I am beginning to wonder if the word "sex" is supposed to automatically go there, but no one EVER says that is the first thing that pops into their head. But I'll answer again, in case anyone missed it in other surveys. The first thing that pops into my head is Where the heck *am* I? I was just ~there~, now I'm ~here~, but I wasn't done being ~there~ yet... so why am I here? It slowly dawns on me that I'm BACK. I was yanked back, sometimes in mid-sentence or just on the verge of discovering the truth of a mystery or something really cool happening, and suddenly I'm back in a boring room, in my boring bed, looking at my boring clock, and wondering why I couldn't have stayed ~there~ just five minutes longer.

20. Do you use deodorant, anti-perspirant or both? This is about the stupidest question I've ever seen on a survey. A better question would be do you use a deodorant or anti-perspirant at all. I know of people who don't because they think the aluminum in the ingredients will cause Alzheimer's, and one person I know of washed her armpits with vinegar. Now, if you *truly* want to know about a person's pits, ask something more optional.

21. How old were you the fist time you kissed a boy/girl? Kindergarten, if my cousin counts. It counted enough to the staff to move me to a different classroom.

22. What is the sexiest feature of a man/woman? Posture, movement, tone of voice. I mean, how many people go after whiny klutzes slumped over on a couch? Betcha never saw THIS kind of answer before.

23. What did you dream about being when you grew up? (profession-wise) I didn't. I had no dreams of my future, of a job, of being a grown up at all. None. I was ticked off for years that I wasn't born a horse or a dog, and ticked off through puberty that I wasn't born a boy. The future really didn't occur to me.

24. What is the craziest thing you have ever done for money? Cleaned up globs of human fat off an operating table after a liposuction. That is the most tenaciously sticky stuff I've ever seen. Despite gowning out and changing clothes twice, I still had it all over me for two days, in my hair, on my glasses, just everywhere. Just have a good think about that when you go into a hospital for a procedure. Hospital housekeeping staff is what keeps the place running. I have a deep appreciation for people who clean up after others for a living.

25. Dogs or Cats? My chicken.

26. One last question, If you legally changed your name, what would you change it to? Can't tell you. Don't want anyone stealing it.

in which mRpl fills out a survey

2016-03-12T08:20:00.000-06:00

This is currently my oldest public survey, originally posted on 3-13-05. It was done in character as mRpl, which I borrowed from Victor Navone. mRpl studies humans through a viewing agent called p-brane reflectoplasm. He scouts the multiverse for signs of life and keeps a log of what he finds. I hope to one day develop this into a book.

I think I am getting the hang of this email stuff.

HOW WELL DO YOUR FAMILY/FRIENDS KNOW YOU?

1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME? mRpl

2. WHAT COLOR PANTS ARE YOU WEARING? steel-colored jumpsuit

3. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? ukeleles at a luau

4. DO YOU WISH ON STARS? I make spaceade from starlight (read my profile)

5. WHAT IS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? I think it is prohibited on your planet, so I will not mention it

6. IF YOU COULD BE ANY COLOR, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? I am green enough, thank you

7. HOW IS THE WEATHER RIGHT NOW? fabulous

8. WHO IS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? what is a phone?

9. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT YOU THIS? *peering closely* hmmm, yes, I think she'll do nicely for my next experiment

10. HOW OLD ARE YOU TODAY? it's all so relative. let's see, if I go by the double blmgstar that we are closest to right now, I'm around 2300 cycles, but if I go by the bltsneutronstar that we slingshot by occassionally, I'm only 12.

11. FAVORITE DRINK? spaceade

12. HAIR COLOR? yes, I've noticed you humans sprout that protein based stuff. I'm surprised it comes in such a variety.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SPORT? I've discovered that buzzing poor little Sims in my virtual saucer is a very enjoyable pastime

14. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? *confusion* Are you asking if my species gets parasites?

15.SIBLINGS? no one could ever prove it

16.FAVORITE FOOD? the last thing I ate

18. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? I've been told that Galaxy Quest is a 'movie', but my p-brane reflectoplasm never lies about the goings on in our multiverse

19. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR? ah, humans are in a rut with their little year thing. try meandering around an eccentric orbit of multiple stars sometime.

20. WHAT DO YOU DO TO VENT ANGER? I was conducting an experiment on anger when I got sucked into sploit's little Sim world. I still don't understand it. I never hope to.

21. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD? I toyed with sPlw, a fellow bleemhead. he didn't make it.

22. SUMMER OR WINTER? neither is complete without spaceade

23. HUGS OR KISSES? chocolate kisses on peanut butter cookies are excellent with spaceade

24. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? see q. 23.

25. DO YOU WANT YOUR FRIENDS TO WRITE/ E-MAIL BACK? I want them to return the reflectoplasm recordings I made.

26. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? sploit, whoever that is. I hear she is hiding out in a closet with Punxatawny Phil, a groundhog of miraculous psychic capabilities that I stole from earth.

27. WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? qJpf. he thinks he is too cool for surveys outside of his lab.

28. LIVING ARRANGEMENTS? I've arranged to keep living as long as I have spaceade and peanut butter cookies.

29. SORRY I ACCIDENTLY LOST THIS ONE, SO I WILL MAKE ONE UP. WHAT DO YOU DO FOR WORK? this is a strange survey... I conduct experiments on humans from a planet call earth by way of p-brane reflectoplasm. see my profile.

30. WHO IS THE FRIEND YOU HAVE HAD THE LONGEST? mBkh is the coolest. he survived our childhood.

31. WHAT DID YOU DO LAST NIGHT? danced a luau! I love vacations.

(Again, my mRpl character is being represented by a Victor Navone creation.)

32. FAVORITE SMELLS? actually, I'm quite enjoying the groundhog.

34. WHAT INSPIRES YOU? the soft radiation of the blue mtlpstar that we orbit by

35. WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF? well, I was once afraid I'd never escape Sims...

36. PLAIN, BUTTERED OR SALTED POPCORN? as long as it goes where I throw it, I'm not particular

37. WHAT KIND OF CAR? virtual saucer...

38. FAVORITE FLOWER? we don't have flowers where I come from, but I guess I like the purple ones. We also don't have the color purple.

39. NUMBER OF KEYS ON YOUR KEY RING? we use electronic locks

41. FAVORITE DAY OF THE WEEK? last Tuesday because I got this wonderful massage by a guy in a grass skirt. When I go back, I shall pass on the concept of massage.

42. WHAT DID YOU DO ON YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY? buzzed Sims in a virtual saucer, it was GREAT. They were scattering like little herds of mcbs.

43. HOW MANY STATES HAVE YOU LIVED IN? the state of exultation, the state of surprise, the state of flummox, the state of puzzlement, the state of hilarity... this could take awhile.

44. HOW MANY CITIES HAVE YOU LIVED IN? only one. I travel extensively, though.

45. HOW MANY CARS HAVE YOU HAD AND WHAT WAS THE FIRST CAR? if you humans only knew how dull cars were...

46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? my planet name will never be revealed to humans

47 DO YOU LIKE YOUR JOB? I was genetically engineered for it, so I crave my job.

48. IF YOU HAD A CHANCE TO DO ANY JOB IN THE WORLD, WHAT WOULD IT BE? I wouldn't mind trying being a little ukelele guy in a luau

49. WOULD YOU GO SKY DIVING? you humans are silly silly things

50. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF ICE CREAM? I appear to be lactose intolerant. I hiccup for hours when I eat ice cream till my compatriots throw me out a window.

(what happened to #17, 33 and 40?) Is this a test?

Copy and paste this e-mail and change the answers to reflect your answers. Send it to the person who sent it to you and to all your other friends. See how well they know you... Have a great day!

50 ODD Things about you!

2015-08-08T21:11:00.000-05:00

Before I post this old survey, which has never before been made public, I will give you the background hidden behind it, from original posts on the same private blog that same day, also none of which has ever before been made public. I apologize if you find this TMI disenchanting, but since so many of us wind up lurking the medical forums through the wee hours, I say what's the difference.

I cannot say enough about hot chocolate. Bliss in a mug when nothing else in the world can reach through that titanium wall of pain. I feel like my pain is almost visible, like a force field around my body, as if I were a Star Fleet ship.

Today, I drive to therapy completely wasted out of my skull. I can't stand this. If I don't drug up, I'll be shaky and white and probably make far more drastic driving errors than I would bombed out of my mind. When I get back home again later I'll post again, because one or two of you might worry if I don't... Which I appreciate. You don't have to let me know how scary I sound, and if you saw the highway I have to drive down you'd turn white yourselves. But if I don't get to therapy and get some relief, I'm going to curl up in a ball and have a VERY bad day.

The antibiotic is making my stomach hurt so bad. I can barely sit here. I could only sleep in two hour batches last night, and that only twice. It's hard to concentrate on my book, but easy to do the dishes like I'm trying to race away from my own body somehow.

In about 20 minutes I'll be floating, and this part will once again be a foggy memory. In the meantime, hot chocolate is my best friend in the whole world.

Made it home in one piece, yay! Going to bed.

:edit: Ok, this is roughly about 2 hours and 15 minutes later. I'll just add to this one.

First of all, they got after me for not icing down when my back is killing me, so right now I'm sitting here with an ice pack. I'm not fond of ice packs at all, but ok. I do have to admit, it does help.

Woke up just in time to take more antibiotic, vicodin, and librax, so I naturally had to eat again with it, and my stomach is REALLY crabby with me. All I could get down was a bowl of cheerios with a little milk. I had taken naproxen in the car with a little jug of chocolate milk before I came home, and then made myself eat some real lunch (burrito) before I crashed, so I woke up to about 798 billion intestinal cells having some kind of riot with all their little picket signs, throwing their little hardhats around in disgust, generally disturbing the peace. I think their demands include upending an entire bottle of acidophilus into my gut in one go, but I keep telling them the little buggers are just going to be killed off by the antiobiotic anyway, I can't just send them to their deaths like that. So far there hasn't been any real marching in the streets or anything, although at this point I'd almost be relieved to be stuck in the bathroom for a little while, if they do decide to just boink it all and do the angry mob thing. I'm not sure exactly which med is responsible for all this dang bloating, maybe several of them, but I know better than to double up on the librax, even though the bottle says I can. I already look pregnant and have put on ten pounds now from the prednisone, can you imagine putting the entire snake in there to SLEEP? There is no way in hell or high water I'm going back to the ER because I'm eating librax like candy and shutting down my entire digestive system. I'm shocked the bottle even suggests that.

It's kind of funny if you think about it. What are you hooked on? Meth. And what are you hooked on? Alcohol and bong hits. And how about you? Vicodin and librax, doc, and you gotta help me poop, man, I'm dyin'.....

Yeah, there's no way I'm going in there for THAT. I'll just have to tolerate the little picket signs and keep pushing the fiber. I have limits to what sort of pride I'll chunk out the door in the name of pain.

That concludes the real life stuff. I'd like to reassure everyone that I'm much healthier now, pain levels are way down compared to back then, and I'm off most of the meds and functioning pretty well around my home. There really is hope when the world sux, but sometimes it takes a lot of time to get stuff figured out and straightened out. Please don't give up hope. If I can come back to a functional life from several years of nearly complete immobility, excruciating pain, agonizing depression, and severe brain fog, I believe we all can, but we've got to be willing to let go of our self destructions. At the time, my diabetes wasn't as yet diagnosed and I didn't know I was complicating my autoimmune problems and healing from a herniated disc with my carb-rich diet.

The reason I shared that here is to help readers understand the importance of developing a good habit of positive distraction for psychological health during long-term illness. Putting words together is a great coping strategy for me. No matter how difficult your situation might be, if you can put your mind to a distraction, you CAN get through it. This is what Surveypalooza is all about.

This survey was originally posted on 8-8-07 on a private blog. I felt too ill that week to include links and vids, as per my usual.

50 ODD Things about you! (This came with skipped numbers, so it's not 50. I suspect alcohol was involved with either the survey creator or the previous filler-outer because the skipping is so outrageous.)

1. What's your number #1 priority?
Food. Looking in the fridge for something good. Finding cheese and melting it on a burrito. Thinking about how good cashews would be on a pile of Chinese food. Making a hot egg sandwich on toast. Remembering the last time I had lamb chops and drooling. Reading how to cook a possum from an ancient recipe book my mom received for a wedding gift. Wondering if I could make a really good quiche from scratch. Deciding that it would be awesome to roast a turkey sometime, instead of waiting for Thanksgiving. Picturing what it must have been like to roast a goose back in Dickens' time. Thanking God I don't have to literally go out and butcher an old hen for Sunday dinner nowadays. Watching the Food Channel. Melting slices of snicker bar and marshmallow onto a graham cracker in the microwave. Eating a good cheese ball. Why do I think about and appreciate food so much? Because I have such a hard time eating it. I was born with severe digestive difficulties. I spent the first 8 years of my life on Donnatal, an anti-spasmodic. I've spent half my adult life on Librax. It literally hurts to eat. When I CAN eat, I enjoy food more than you can possibly imagine.

2. What is your favorite possession?
My pet chicken, my lawn chair, and a long handled spatula. Ok, so I pluralized it. Honestly, I'm so nonmaterialistic that I can't think of a single thing in or out of this house that I'd truly bemoan missing if the house burned down, because I'm so bad about laying something down and forgetting about it in the first place. I think I'd mourn getting a hole in my favorite sox more than anything.

3. Do you own a gun?
It's called a "salad shooter". I can pelt you with raw veggies in the face at 60 paces.

4. If you could tell your last ex something what would you say?
Smooth move on the software creation... are you rich now?

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments?
THEY get nervous when they see me coming. I get anything I want.

6. What do you think of hot dogs?
Genius. Pure genius. The people who make hot dogs are a blessing to ball parks and theme parks and raceways everywhere.

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Homemade hot chocolate from a recipe I invented and took years to perfect.

9. Can you do push ups?
I push the guide up and down all the time with the remote.

10. Is your bathroom clean?
My tub sparkles and still looks brand new after 14 years, thanx to Scott. And I still have my original kitchen trash can, too. I believe in the power of Windex on all surfaces after they've reached a certain level of crustiness.

11. What's your favorite piece of jewelry?
That earring broke a long time ago. I still mourn. It was a long dangly lapis star and moon with gold beads.

12. Do you take painkillers?
They take ME. Ask me a better question, like how high my pain tolerance is compared to the general public, and why Paris Hilton takes more vicodin for cramps than I do for lupus flareups around disk bulges.

13. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?
They have to be lured? Funny, I didn't realize that. I thought they sort of more like have to be peeled off.

14. Do you have A.D.D.? [Attention Deficit Disorder]?
Better yet, I'm aspie. Challenge me with something a little less fundamental and fashionable. I own a Geek Squad t-shirt.

15. What's your name?
My 'Indian' name is currently Up Late Folding Laundry For Desperate Teenage Daughter.

16. Middle Name?
Falling Asleep In This Chair While I Wait For The Dryer To Buzz. (FAITCWIWFTDTB for short.)

17. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment?
1. I should have taken sploit up on that offer for a back rub before she went to bed.
2. I could be watching youtubes.
3. How many more of these things do I have to go? 38? Will I make it? Ok, no, we took a vote, and it's pretty clear I'd better go to bed with the rest of my cells or there will be a big mess to clean up from the strikers taking off on me.

~~~~~~~~~~~

(Two hours later, up for pain pills.)

18. Name the last 3 things you have bought recently?
1. A cantaloupe.
2. Doctorial services. (copay)
3. A birthday card for my sister.

19. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink:
1. The above-mentioned hot chocolate. OH so good.

2. Homemade limeades. Juice from 1/2 a lime and a small bottle of sprite. OH so good.
3. Homemade ice tea from those little Lipton tea bags, not the big ones, just a dash of sugar. OH so good.

22. Current worry?
Dang, only TWO hours of sleep this time... Sure hope I get back to bed soon, this sux.

23. Current hate?
*Brain screeches to halt as I search for something I hate.* Oh, yeah, child rapists/murderers. Too bad we've done away with drawing and quartering, burning at the stake, and generally gouging eyes out and chopping hands off.

24. Favorite place to be?
In my body. I know, I know, it hurts a lot and we don't always agree on things, but in the end, I'm always glad I'm in here and not booted out just yet.

25. How did you bring in the New Year?
I wasn't aware I was the one who brought it in... *looking around* Oh. Well, then, I guess it's all my fault. Sorry about that, folks.

26. Where would you like to go?
BACK TO BED. Ok, I'll think of something 'real'. Um, I'd like to be able to go to Panama City again, definitely in off season, of course, and do some more shopping and ocean hanging-outing.

27. Do you own slippers?
I'm down to one pair. The big colorful turkey slippers finally bit the dust.

28. What shirt are you wearing?
A really old faded tie-dye that looks like a few Easter eggs met untimely deaths.

30. Favorite color(s)?
Royal blue LED lights.

31. Would you be a pirate?
They used to call us hackers.

32. Are you gay?
Aside from letting Scott touch me, I'm asexual, and if that bothers you (that really does bother people, it's so weird), then maybe you are a-phobic. Ha, I am so funny.

33. Do you sing in the shower?
We are all glad I do not sing in the shower, but no one can stop me singing everywhere else.

34. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child.?
A garbage truck. I had a nightmare about a garbage truck when I was about 3 that sticks with me to this day.

35. What's in your pockets right now?
I'd love to say money, but alas, I'm not having pockets at the moment.

37. Best bed sheets as a child?
Clean. I don't recall ever having theme sheets. I nearly fell over the first time I saw a kid's room with themed sheets and curtains and wallpaper and stuff.

38. Worst injury you've ever had?
Being flipped out of a car window during an accident. It hurt.

43. Does someone have a crush on you?
I think Scott really likes me sometimes.

44. Do you wish on shooting stars?
I'm never outside long enough anymore to see shooting stars, but I will tell you this. One time I saw one coming RIGHT AT ME while I was driving. I'm sure it never made it real close, but I watched it burn up and disappear and was really unnerved the rest of the day.

45. What's your favorite book?
All-time fave-- Wyrd Sisters by Terry Pratchett.

46. What's your favorite candy?
I'm not a big candy person, but I do head straight for the Cadbury eggs when they are in season.

47. What song do/did you want played at your wedding?
We just ran off and got hitched, no family, no song. Didn't think we could take the headache the second time around for both of us.

48. What song do you want played at your funeral?
"I'll Be Mellow When I'm Dead" by Weird Al.

49. What were you doing @ 12 AM last night?
I swear I have an alibi, just let me sit here and think one up, ok?

50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?
Already? It's 4 in the morning, dang. And I'll never get back to sleep, so I may as well just frickin get up again. And tonight we're going Already? It's 2:30 in the morning, dang. But maybe I'll get back to sleep after I get another pain pill in me this time. And more benadryl.

Again, sorry no fun links, pix, or vids, but I've especially had this one on my mind all week. Hugs to all of you, hang in there, you can do this.

Something different, because I'm tired of the same old questions.

2015-08-01T15:04:00.000-05:00

Originally posted on 8-17-07 on a private blog. I created this survey, but the experienceproject site is no longer accessible without signing up, so I have no idea if it's still available and how many people have taken it.

*Something different, because I'm tired of the same old questions.*
1) What scares the crap out of you more than anything?	When people walk quietly into the room and I don't realize they're there until they suddenly talk to me. I jerk really hard, they fall over laughing.
2) You've just stepped dripping naked out of the shower and suddenly spy the biggest spider you've ever seen about 2 feet from you. What do you do?	I lunge at the beast with a Xena war cry and smash it under the towel, then throw up on the towel, then throw the towel away.
3) One of your friends tries to pawn off a kitten or a puppy on you. You...	tell them 'Grampa' would be happy to get rid of it for them, sure, you'll run it over there, no problem.
4) Popsicle or snowcone?	Red popsicle, blue snowcone.
5) When someone gripes about the price of gas, you...	Remind them how much their flavored water costs per gallon.
6) Favorite time of day?	Dusk to dawn. There is something magical about being on the dark side pointed away from the sun.
7) Nice restaurant with a date, what's the most embarrassing thing you've done?	Accidentally flipped a big steak knife through the air, just missing an old lady. Yep, it's true.
8) What would YOU like to see on the Food Channel?	Someone milking goats and making homemade goat cheese.
9) What worries you more, environmental issues or the rising cost of health care?	I don't worry. I watch Spongebob.
10) If someone offered you a hundred dollars to swallow a bug, would you do it?	No. But I know people who would. And as soon as they'd swallowed it I'd ask them if someone just sprayed insecticide around anywhere... sorta mess with their heads.
Take this survey \| Create your own survey \| Daily survey
Meet New Friends Who Understand You. Explore Life Stories.

Yes, I made this one up.

So a few years later the Food Network or Channel or whatevs finally did have a show with milking goats and making goat cheese.

Confess Your ABCs Survey

2015-07-14T09:35:00.000-05:00

I'll confess my ABC's (caution- this is the first survey I've done in 16 months, I may be a bit rusty)

A- Age:
I was 3 the first time I saw the Rolling Stones on the Ed Sullivan show. My dad wasn't thrilled that I was instantly glued to the set and wouldn't respond or move. I've never forgotten that experience.

B- Biggest Fear:
Aside from spiders, which I bring up constantly, I have no greater fear than evil Mickey, but more in a sad 'you fools' kind of way than actual terror.

C- Current Time:
It's always now.

D- Drink you last had:
The messy mess of my past is soon to become a messy mess in my future. I hope it's worth something.

E- Easiest Person To Talk to:
You're all in my head with me.

F- Favorite Song:
Knock yourself out.

G- Grossest Memory:
I've been known to make people sick, so maybe not here. Perhaps something cheerful. Click to lose yourself in oreo heaven.

H- Hometown:
Recovering from a recently occurring biblical event. Click pic for bigger.

I just noticed I is missing. Someone doesn't know their ABCs.

J- Jealous Of:
Super jealous that @bonenado can eat or do anything he wants and cure any consequences with a single pain pill. He is my Iron Man.

K- Killed Someone?
Maybe. Ok, yes, yes I did.

L- Longest Relationship:
Everybody knows my weakness. (note- I had this coded in place before I heard Dylan mention Lexx, in case anyone is thinking that's the only reason this vid is here. No, this vid is here because I may or may not be a robot.)

M- Middle Name:
Yablo, but not to be confused with this Yablo or Yablo's Paradox, although much respect for that. My nick came from this guy, and I once built a website called Yablo's House.

N- Number of Siblings:
They worry about me.

O- One Wish:
I hope revenge is sweet.

P- Person who you last called:
I don't call people. The person who last called me was a >spammer< from Hobbes, New Mexico. I guess someone figured out how to break through the National Do Not Call Registry.

Q- Question you're always asked:
What kind of sex do I like. I have never once answered this question truthfully. Faithful lurkers can now furrow their eyebrows.

R- Reason to smile:
Why so serious, right? Fear the smile.

S- Song you last sang:
You guys really don't want to know where I go.

T- Time you woke up:
2007. I have long since lost the original artist on deviantart for credit, perhaps it went private or was deleted. I'm the one who colorized it blue.

Here you go, pony style.

U- Unique Talent:
Remembering things and then tangling up convos with people who don't remember things and getting them all riled up because I assumed their brains were working. Most of you haven't ever seen this happen. Those who have- well, let's just let disgust keep us in our respective corners.

V- Vacation Destination:
Sorry for the quality, youtube is very aggressive about stopping this one, and many thanks to the brave fan who's managed to keep it up this long. My best vacas ever have been being left behind for a week. You guys have no idea.

W- Worst Habit:
Reacting to people trying to have discussions with me.

X- Xrays you've had:
This is my fave mug ever. You can buy one, too, by clicking on the pic.

Y- Your favorite food:
Every time I name a fave food in a survey I wind up having an allergic reaction to it. At this point I'm terrified to mention that I eat at all. Let's have a quick moment of silence for all my fave foods I can no longer eat without risking anaphylaxis.

Lemon pie

Peanut butter cookies (also includes the Kisses, which aren't manufactured in a dedicated peanut and nut free facility)

Guacamole

Cashews

There's more but I'm going to let it go. These are the biggies. I miss them a lot.

Z- Zodiac Sign:
I've been told by a number of people through the years that I am the most super Scorpio they've ever encountered, and some claim I'm inherently all the evil in the zodiac. This quote seems apt.

the smooshed together survey

2015-05-19T11:36:00.000-05:00

Originally posted on 2-9-13.

I'm smooshing together and totally redoing a couple of ancient surveys I found from 2007 on a retired private blog, some of these questions are worth revisiting. (:edit: 5-10-14 I just destroyed all the video codes fixing a single typo in this survey #sadpanda I forgot that the Xanga migration rewrote the video codes and the only way they stayed intact was NOT TOUCHING THEM, so I'll come back later and replace them. I'm sorry, I saw this post getting hit a bit lately, and one typo sucked me in... Give me a few days, I'm on vacation right now. Sorry.)

1. You're in the hospital, who on your top 8 comes to visit you

Please don't jinx me and say I'm in the hospital... I used to have the Priceline Negotiator in my top 8 on one of my old myspaces, might be a little weird if he came to see me. Even scarier, his daughter...
(wow, remember when people fought over being in the top 8?)
(:edit: 5-15-15 I can't believe I missed transferring this survey, I guess it was too disheartening to face for awhile. You know what? Let's find that video!) (Better yet, here is the banned one!)

2. If alcohol were banned, what would your reaction be?

There goes my fave Listerene, 'real' vanilla, and Port Wine cheese balls. I think I'd be pretty ticked. I know, what the crap! I lead with a COMMERCIAL??? I promise you guys, I'm not being paid to do that, I just really have this thing for the Priceline Negotiator. Like Bruce Campbell says-

3. You cd collection is reposessed. you can keep one?

My luck I'd be stuck with something like TV Theme Songs from the 70's. Repo'd? Who thinks of questions like this? Do people still melt their cd collections in hot cars?

4. Do you believe world peace is possible?

I believe we already have world peace. Think about it. 90% of about 8 billion people are pretty peaceful. It's the other 10% that just don't 'get' it. THEY keep trying to disrupt world peace. I blame the Goa'uld.

5. I'm a genie. Name your wish.

I am so ready for this weird ladybug infestation to be over. They are on *everything*. Yeah, you think they're cute, you've never had a thousand ladybugs inside your house. This little guy was nearly in my mouth before I noticed him.

6. Name one thing about the opposite sex that turns you off?

I've never understood the whole Elvis Presley thing, but I really really REALLY want a Flying Elvi t-shirt.

7. Name one thing about the opposite sex that automatically turns you on?

At the risk of turning this one question into an entire survey of its own, let's just please note that Andrew Lee Potts is AWESOME, and if you wanna see more of what he's doing *right now*, you need to click on the twitter linx I'm about to provide.

He was nerdy cool in Primeval.

I like his Hatter waaaaaayyyyyy better than Johnny Depp's. Gah, there are so many good Hatter vids, it was really hard to choose just one. Fans do incredible stuff on youtube.

And Andrew Lee Potts is making a film that you can all practically live follow the progress of on Stolen Light Film on Facebook and Stolen Light Film on Twitter and Stolen Light Film on Tumblr. There is no excuse to miss this, here's your teaser. Stolen Light - Teaser 1 on Vimeo So if you want more live updates on what Andrew Lee Potts is doing, be a good fan and follow these other twitters, too.

Andrew Lee Potts on Twitter
Keychain Productions on Twitter

:edit: 5-17-15 And now he's got his Wireless web series going. You're welcome. Click the pic to see the cool new website.

8. Speaking of same sex, what did you think about Brokeback Mountain?

Ok, that's so outdated that I have to change it. What do y'all think of Merthur? Or Brolin, as some are wont. (For the less well read, wont is a real word.) If you don't like gay stuff, skip this question and go on to number 9, thanx. I thought this vid was just darn cute, and the fan who put it together did some really brilliant editing.

9. What are you obsessive about?

Proper comma placement. Oh, what the heck, that's all going out the door with twitter, right? Life is too short to twitter stress, just hash it up and throw it out there in 140 characters or less.

10. Leather face is in the kitchen. (the guy from texas chainsaw massacre)

He can kill that big spider and do my dishes while I continue watching the Web Soup marathon on G4. I am quietly dying inside over whether all that E3 and Comic-Con coverage will be parceled out to other media vendors now or what, but we're talking HOURS AND HOURS of possible lost coverage. *tears* *catching my breath* Back to Web Soup with Chris Hardwick to assuage my angsty feels. (In case you got lost in all that, G4 is rebranding soon.)

I did not know what the heck was up with Chris talking about his 'ex-wife Barbara' on the show until I got a twitter account and she followed me. 'Barbara', for the rest of you who don't get it yet, is Ann Sandretto, and if you wanna know more you can look her up yourself.

11. Do people underestimate you?

Nearly every single super awesome scifi series ever made about earth destruction, takeover, and sheer human survival has been canceled. What are the odds that Defiance will also be canceled? And people not having a clue will go to look it up and run right into a film about Jewish brothers escaping from the Nazis instead of a multi-platform shooter MMO that interconnects with a global television program on Syfy... Personally, the mangled Arch in the graphics is freaking me out. I've been up at the top of the St. Louis Arch, it's *terrifying*.

12. When you're in a bad mood, what will always put you in a better mood?

Offer me food. Never fails. And I like watching the weather screen on my phone at night when I can't sleep. I can pick a city and watch it rain or snow or glide over the clouds in the moonlight.

13. Honestly, do you talk about myspace in real life?

The old 2007 answer- "It's scary when someone walks up to me and tells me what they negatively commented on someone else's myspace just before that person shows up to a party at my house. Yeah, myspace can be pretty volatile and must be negotiated delicately." Ok, that really happened, and it got ten times worse when facebook came along (imagine me living next door to in-laws, yeah...). I'm not sure that it's psychologically healthy for people to get so wrapped up in using technology for their interpersonal interactions, so maybe it's best if I just nip this question in the bud and tell all the wandering souls reading this that I love you, I know it sux and none of it is fair, and I think you're awesome. I suck at facebook because I hardly ever go over there, but I find that much less stressful than feeling compulsed to check it all the time. I truly dig not getting comments, even when a post gets over a thousand hits. I'm like the magazine you find lying around at the doctor's office, you pick it up and read it, sometimes you tear a recipe or coupon out, and then you walk away. The best magazines are the ones that look the most shredded, am I right? And then you get all frustrated that the end of an article is missing, or someone tore out the joke page. Speaking of that, I try to go back and check youtubes every little bit and replace them if they don't work any more. I'm cool that way.

14. Have you met someone online in person?

Every time I go to the fitness center, locker #17 is empty, so that's the one I always get. I'm about ready to claim it as my own and tape up pictures of my boyfriend. That's right, I *finally* caught Scott in his underwear. Despite knowing my intentions, all he could moan about was how fat his back looks, but dang, he's pretty hot for a guy his age. Now you can see what the big deal is when he walks around distracting me. All the cougars passing by in the locker room will gasp in shock but secretly be jealous.

15. What do you hope to have accomplished by the end of the school year?

I keep getting app promos for Candy Crush Saga and I fear that if I fall for that, I'll abandon everything else I'm doing and disappear. I got pretty caught up in Cascade one year until I was literally shaking from the super intensity I was able to focus into. Click the pic to go to the app for droid.

16. Do you believe minimum wage should be raised?

I'm actually thinking about the word 'carafe' at the moment. It doesn't sound as graceful out loud as it looks in print, but I think it's a better word than 'coffee pot'. I wonder if everyone I know will think I'm a dork if I start referring to our coffee pot as a carafe. I think more than one person will automatically have to say something about a giraffe after I do. Funny what a big deal something this little is.

17. Do you have any really crazy relatives?

Literally or figuratively? There are both, but I'm curious what we're looking for here, some kind of tongue in cheek or some admission of family genetics gone bizarrely awry. I'm the one with the chickens, and if it weren't for this nasty cold weather, allergies, and a rabid fear of spiders, I'd probably be hanging out in the chicken house with my girls (my peeps, haha) right now because Scott wired it for electric. Cool, huh? #crazychickenlady

18. Pretend you're 15 deep in beers. Describe what you would be doing?

If they were in those tiny little "baby" mugs like you used to be able to get from A&W, I'd be passing around tiny little root beers to all my friends and loved ones. I really actually own one of those. They are so cute.

19. Does everyone in your life know the real you?

They are terrified to know the real me. The real me never seems to shut up. That's probably why I'm doing so well on twitter... Being on twitter is kinda like being part of the Borg, all the tweeting going on all the time, being part of a Collective, all our minds tied into timelines and 'feed', we're never alone. You can follow me on twitter at PinkyGuerrero on Twitter.

20. Last thing you said about a guy/ girl?

If I were ever being tortured for important information like my passwords, I would never be able to remember them. I'm one of those people who meticulously creates wild and crazy passwords that I constantly have to look up. But what I ~could~ do is easily rattle out my lengthy library card account number. I've typed it in so many times over the years that it could almost be my own name. I'm only saying this because I can't remember what the last thing was I said about anybody. That kind of stuff tends to fall right out of my head.

21. What is the most ridiculous fear you have?

That I might have a spider riding on my head at any given point in time. Don't laugh, this has really happened. After a softball game one night, a teenage turantula jumped off my head into my bathwater with me. I never sat on or leaned against the bleachers the rest of the season. It's terrifying to think you can't really feel something that big on your head the whole trip home in a car. I wear ballcaps now, yeah, like duh, THAT'S what they're for...

22. Do you know anyone in prison?

'Twitter jail' cracks me up. You hit an hourly or daily limit and suddenly you can't tweet any more, but experienced users just switch to alt accounts and keep going. The only thing I can think to compare twitter to that makes sense for people who don't have it is like being able to hear the baseball game on the radio when you're stuck in traffic, or like being able to have multiple conversations with several people all at once while you also read the paper and watch tv, there is no other media that so immediately connects you to everything that is happening right *now* that you are interested in. Like the Superbowl blackout. That. was. awesome.

Sorry, I get a little carried away with twitter talk. Here, have a scary video to finish melting your mind. Close your eyes and plug your ears if you don't want to suffer brain damage.

23. When is the last time you ate Peanut butter and jelly?

I'm allergic. Hey, have you guys seen The Americans? Scott got so freaked out he started thinking maybe all our neighbors are Russians spying on us. I reminded him the tv show is set in the 1980's. Probably doesn't help that we marathoned through all 8 seasons of 24 again a couple of years ago. Wonder if there are still any good Jack Bauer videos hanging around youtube... Oh, here we go, hadn't seen this one yet.

24. When did you last have a home cooked meal?

I'm having trouble wanting to eat this week, hoping it's just a bug. Hurt weird all over, kinda rubbery, nothing sounds good. Scott had to go pick up his own Superbowl munchies this year. Sorry, no food pix this round.

25. Have you ever gotten naked at a party?

Here's the latest ultrasound my oldest got just today! I've never been a gramma before, but I have chickens and I think that will make me the cool one to come visit. Scott is already planning out a trip to take both the girls and their kids to the big Star Wars thing that Disney will have, but it might be a few years. Gotta finish manufacturing the new humans and get them somewhat functional first.

26. Name who you miss.

I am always blown away at how far people will go. I mean, LARPing South Park??? (:edit: 5-18-15 I obviously filled out this survey before South Park did any kind of 3D and there were actually still videos of fans acting out South Park before everyone in the world started copying South Park going 3D or before the latest games came out or cosplaying, so instead, have a cute fan-made mashup. Actually, that was so awesome, I'm sticking a second one in by the same person.)

27. Are you named after a grandparent?

I have answered this so many times in surveys, will you people please stop naming your kids after grandparents? It's apparently bugging quite a few survey creators.

28. Who loves you?

My chickens think I'm the bomb. I wish I was twitter linked to their little minds and could catch what they were thinking in a timeline feed.

29. Do you throw up gang signs?

Better watch yourself, never know when you're going to get sucked into a time vortex and run into this guy.

30. Have you ever broken a rib?

If I did, no one has ever known. We didn't go to doctors much growing up, and my parents didn't tolerate puny whiners. I could be mangled by a crazed farm animal and still have to go do my chores. I stepped barefoot on a copperhead once. I'm no wimp. Yeah, it wasn't on purpose. Snake was just as freaked out as I was, zoomed like the snake devil was after it while I cleared a 4 foot gate.

31. Last song you heard?

I just found this on youtube, I wanna see it really bad. Comes out in June 2013.

32. What was the last thing you ate?

Oh, people people people. Chocolate chip cookie dough. THAT'S RIGHT, I'm making cookies!!!! I multitask like a maniac. It's really sad that I can't just hand you one through your screen as a thank you for visiting my site. Thank you, though, I really appreciate you stopping by.

33. How do you feel RIGHT now?

Waaaay better than yesterday. Remember I couldn't answer the what's the last thing you ate question? And I said I wouldn't have any food pix this time? Guess what...

34. Have you driven anywhere today?

Ok, that was cruel. But I really do make the awesomest chocolate chip cookies ever. Hot, soft, melty gooey chocolate chips....

35. Whats your hair like?

This is the first pony tail I've had in about 5 years, growing it out. There was a time it was over two feet long, lately it's been short and fun. Kind of in a transition stage right now. You can easily find the t-shirt by putting 'Wesley Crushers t-shirt' in your search bar. A young lady at my bank cracked the biggest smile when I walked in, great way to tag the nerdy people in your life, just wear a cool tee.

36. Would you ever work for the border patrol?

Scott checks the yard for what the neighborhood dogs leave behind. I get full reports with great enthusiasm about how he's going to get even.

37. Who's car were you in last?

My own. And since this question is so boring, I'll tell you a true story from my old car days. Our former neighbor, well off older man with a nice house, traveled a lot, also into wood carving and composting, but he had a terrible time with mice getting into his house. An entire nest of them lived under the compost pile he so carefully nurtured. After he died and the compost pile croaked off, the mice moved around a bit, and one got into the trunk of my car somehow and made a nest, which we didn't find until later. I drove into town one morning, stopped in at McDonald's, was inside eating my breakfast when customers stood up shouting, Look, a *mouse*! And I looked up to where everyone was pointing out the window, and sure enough, there was this big monster mouse running across the parking lot toward the building, and of course, I can clearly see that if he's going in a straight line, he must have come from MY car. omg. So I quietly finished my breakfast and left as quickly as possible and have wondered ever since then whether that McDonald's had to go through an extra inspection and pricey extermination over me bringing the biggest mouse anyone ever saw into town unawares.

38. Where did u go?

Oh, I had no idea the above question would be continued. I'm so glad now that I entertained you, because this one would have had no answer.

39. What High School are you going to?

I'm surprised to find myself running with a twitter gang, and I'm not sure there's a way out. I think I made it through initiation, not sure when I'll have to get the tattoo and cut off someone's thumb, but it's nice to belong, and I get perks all over their territory, and you can, too, come play with us! Click the banner to go check it out.

40. Are you going to homecoming?

With my last batch of chickens I was able to figure out who laid which eggs, but I'm having a tougher time with this bunch. See that pretty speckled one? No idea, but I'm pretty sure it's not T'Pol's because she's not a heavy laying breed and we get one of these nearly every day. I'm betting it's Myka's, she's a production cross called an Indian River. The rest I'm pretty sure about.

41. Have you ever been in an interracial relationship?

I used to have this duck... I got a kick out of how badly the hens beat the crap out of him, but it never stopped him from trying again, over and over and over. I caught one of their fights on camera and put it on a youtube called Menage a Trois Gone Awry and didn't realize for years that it got all those hits because people thought it was a sex video. Sorry, it's gone now. I'm dumb and deleted it.

42. Is your birthday on a holiday?

I was born on United Nations Day, which is one day after Weird Al's birthday.

43. Are you old enough to vote?

There was no vote, the groundhog said spring WILL come early this year, and no one can stop it. He's probably part of a crime fighting group hellbent on stopping an evil overlord conspiring to force us all into submission. I say Go Groundhog, yeah!

44. Do you have any friends or family in the war right now?

The best way to eat bbq ribs is right over the pan they just cooked in. I just stopped and ate some. Live action survey here, folks! Ew. Oh, nevermind, that's just sauce on my keyboard. Little bit sticky now. And yes, I know people in the military. They rock. I hope they get awesome bbq ribs, too.

45. Are you a vegitarian?

No, but I'm an excellent speller. I do like vegetables, though.

46. Do you worry about global warming?

I worry more what's going to happen when I am forced to drive an electric car and desperately need a recharge and I'm still a mile from my house in very inclement weather. It'll be as fun as running out of gas all the time. I'm answering this question while I watch Nemo coverage on the weather channel.

47. Do you like polar bears

I've heard that if you eat polar bear liver it will kill you because the vitamin A is so toxic. So if I have to eat a polar bear, I will probably stick to the filet mignon part.

48. Do you like alligators?

I have eaten alligator tail, and somewhere there is an alligator running around with a stub. I feel sorta bad about that.

49. Which of the Marley brothers do you like best?

I wanna change this. Which of The Sklar Brothers do you like best? I tend to go for glasses.

50. What slang word do you call marijuana?

Ha, this survey was written by a teenager on pot. How funny.

51. Do you have to get your wisdom teeth out?

No, but I bet you do, you rascally survey creator. Ask me if I've ever had heart surgery or something.

52. Ashley or Mary-Kate?

Kathy Griffin This pot smoking survey creator with a wisdom teeth problem has a crush on the Olsen twins. Of all the things I've ever put into a survey that could lose me followers, it's probably Kathy, but it's not like I inundate you people with her, so jump down to 53 if this annoyed you.

53. Do you wear your sweetie's clothes?

My sweetie crawls under the car and climbs all over the roof, there is no way I'm putting those clothes on. I fuss at him a lot for bringing spiders in. They hitchhike in and drop off in the kitchen as he walks by me, can't tell you how many times this has actually happened, and even though he might have *just* got back from deer hunting through all kinds of brush and wilderness, he never believes he's the one bringing spiders in.

54. Do you have a tan?

If you're into white Irish actor/directors named Eoin, there's a whole pinterest full of him at Eoin Macken. If you wanna know more go to his site at Blank Canvas Pictures. I'm mostly doing this because I like to irritate him, he retweeted me the other day, and I made a new friend on twitter because of it.

55. Where were you one hour ago?

Just one? Probably in the kitchen looking for something to eat.

56. Life.. how do you feel about it?

It sux, but I don't care. What the heck, I'll take it anyway. I kind of think pain is what drives us and makes us human, and I defy some wimpy alien to come inhabit THIS body.... BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

57. Have you ever logged on to your bf/gf/crush's Myspace page?

Scott is so paranoid he won't even let me watch him type in a password to one of his fantasy football teams so I won't be able to sabotage them after he took my team over and made me LOSE. >=l

58. Which do you enjoy more: Soccer or Hockey

I think I'm at zero on both. There is no 'more' than the other. However, I'm interested in Celebrity Soccer 6 because Team Merlin was at and near the top the last two years, and that's Team Merlin from the tv show Merlin, not the plane and helicopter stuff. You can get updates from SoccerSix on Twitter "The worlds biggest celebrity football tournament. 2013 dates coming soon!" SoccerSix recently retweeted me, too, pretty cool.

59. Name someone you love.

This is the other grandbaby under construction, 13 weeks.

60. Would you rather have a million dollars or true love?

I've already got the true love, working on the million bucks.

61. Which of your MySpace friends has a naughty piercing?

Every time I see the word MySpace in this survey I have flashbacks to what the world was like before facebook. MySpace was so a hundred years ago. That was even before I started following Wil Wheaton on twitter. I started following Anne (his wife) last month because I discovered it adds so much more depth to Wil's tweets. That very tweet Wil made right there is the one that compelled me to follow Anne on twitter, I couldn't imagine what he was talking about.

62. Is your boyfriend/girlfriend a marine?

"Scott is a workhorse. He is TOUGHER than a marine. He can carry a hundred pound river rock up a hill and then go get another one, and do this for a couple of hours before he even stops to get a drink. And he's not even a great big muscley guy." --Ok, I wrote that 6 years ago, before he wound up having hernia surgery...

63. Are you currently in a relationship?

I *nearly* got Xander Bennett's book Cages for 2 cents on Amazon.com last November. That's right 2 pennies. I'm sure it was a typo. The order went through just fine, $4.01 with shipping, got notice of a ship date 3 days later, waited and waited and waited... Finally contacted Amazon in January and said Hey, whadup, didn't get my book, so they refunded. I looked it up again, discovered there are both new and used copies going for over $100 (one is currently at $169). Granted, some new and used are still under $40 (I got a good used one for about $30), but I think maybe those sellers just aren't aware other sellers are asking for way more because it's out of print. And I think the 2 cent seller I accidentally found must have panicked when my order came through and saw the 2 cent thing, held onto the book, entered a fake ship invoice, and sat back waiting for me to be refunded. It's all kind of funny, too bad it didn't slip on through, because I would have loved being able to say I got it for 2 cents. I asked Xander if he gets anything at all out of the copies going for over $100, he said not a dime from anyone. I looked up the publisher, they went out of business in 2010, and I'm thinking what a good lesson I'm learning for my own future. Mainly, if my publisher crashes, buy the books back up myself and relist them for collector prices because they're rare and out of print... Anyway, Cages is a cool story in the form of a bound comic (Melanie Cook illustrated), would love to see it as a movie, and here's a teaser.

64. Would you rather date someone 2 years younger or older?

I always sucked at dating. It was such a relief to get married and not have to go through the angst of dating any more. The few times in the past that I thought of divorce, just the fleeting thoughts of having to date again were enough to move my contentment back up a few notches. Way past that now, Scott and I went out on a date to AutoZone this morning and it was pretty awesome. It's nice being best friends. (:edit: Scott is 5 years older than me, by the way.)

65. What's your favorite junk food?

Coffee. I know that's weird. I can have only half a cup a day because I'm so hypersensitive to caffeine, so I buy really nice expensive coffee for a beautiful experience.

66. Who was the last person who messaged you?

A twitter friend. I am ~really~ digging this commercial. :edit: Since this survey is pre Pinky Stuff, I have no idea what commercial that might have been. The Xanga server transfer did such a thorough job of wiping vids that there weren't even broken codes left laying around for hints. Here is one of my all time faves.

67. Do you know what your wearing the 1st day of school?

I just had a sobering thought. You know how it's always happy hour somewhere in the world? It's always the first day of school or training somewhere in the world.

68. Are you taller than 5'6?

Fernando doesn't seem too worried about it.

Let's have a good day!

~~~~~~~~~~~~

:edit: 5-17-15 Just wanna add that this particular survey was so code smashed that it took me an extra year to even face it, and I am rebuilding it line by line just to make it legible again with real videos, because this is important to me. I know no other way to thank all the cool people making awesome gifs, cartoons, youtubes, artwork, and everything else on the internet that keeps me going.

This is for all the people reading the internet in the dark because they can't sleep, or hanging on during the day while they're feeling alone waiting for time to pass. I'm with you. I am one of you.

We can do this, guys.

100 Girly Questions Survey

2015-04-10T16:17:00.001-05:00

Originally posted on 8-3-12.

I'm not terribly girly, so this one should be a challenge.

Do you wear: alot of makeup, some makeup, no makeup

This really is a big deal to people. And it's an even bigger deal when you eventually have to cave to admitting you're so allergic to just about everything out there that you're *stuck* showing your real face to the world. I've never been one to be vain, and goodness knows I don't have a clue when it comes to self awareness, but I noticed a long time ago in college that I really do get treated better when I wear makeup. The incredible thing is that even without makeup, people tell me my skin is "flawless", that I look far younger than I am, and one women even went into a weird rant against God and the cosmos that at ten years younger she looked like hell and stomped out the door with her cigarettes and alcohol. I dread the inevitable coming up, people finding out how old I am, because we always wind up having weird one-sided conversations that embarrass me to death. But even so, it's actually really true, when I used to be able to wear makeup, particularly eye makeup, I definitely got treated better by all kinds of people. I've never understood that.

Whats your favorite makeup?

This is already making me miss makeup, I miss playing with it. I was real bad about forgetting I had it on at work and didn't realize I'd smear it rubbing my eyes and then handle customers for two hours before I got a break and noticed my makeup was screwed. Took me a few years to figure out the reason my eyes were itching all the time was because I'm allergic to the makeup.

Could you go out in public without make up?

The fun part is thinking you can really slouch at home on a day off, and that's the day you wind up with an airway reaction to 'green' cleaners and you look like s#*t at the clinic. I'm such a ball of nerves any more that I wash my hair first thing just to make sure I'm ready for an emergency.

Do you do your nails oftenly?

I got my nails done for Halloween in a salon one year and wound up with a fungal infection messing up my left thumbnail like a zombie for months, how ironic is that.

What color are your fingernails?

Clean. When you are in nursing school, they point out how icky pretty fingernails are underneath. People rarely wash underneath them or go out of their way to put sanitizer on or underneath pretty nails, but never fail to use those nails to scratch and touch *everything*.

How about your toe nails?

Ingrown toenail surgery is a bigger deal than you'd think. I once saw an x-ray of a guy's foot where infection had gone into the bone, and once that happens, bone starts dissolving real quick. Just a heads up.

Heels or flats?

You don't want me anywhere near heels. I tend to fling myself headlong like a projectile. I've destroyed my ankles on stairs. Not cool doing that holding a small child.

Eyeliner or mascara?

I actually like the whole guyliner thing, but Scott flat refuses to try it.

Lip gloss or lipstick?

A gay friend once told me I have the perfect lips for lipstick and he seemed a little upset that I don't bother wearing any. (I think maybe being allergic to something in lipstick heightens my lip picking.) He had a huge poster of Marilyn Monroe in his bedroom. That is the only time in my life anyone has put me anywhere near some kind of pedestal. I really don't think about my lips very much, I guess. Should I?

Eyelash curler or tweezers

I have a double curse. My eyelashes grow real thick and long (nice, right?) but in crazy directions (sux), and then they get loose and fall out every time my eyelids puff up around pollinating trees (super sux). And I'm too allergic to adhesives to boost up with false eyelashes (uber super sux). Btw, did you know you can get eyebrow toupes? False Eyebrow Purchasing Options I've never tried them. I'm so allergic to adhesives that I can't even tolerate pedia patches with event monitors without getting hives.

Vans or converse?

I guess this is a thing. Vans vs. Converse, the ultimate showdown | The Las Lomas Page Since I live in mid-continent, it doesn't seem to be a thing around here. I could be wrong, but I live in the woods. Extreme sports around here involves compound bows, black powder guns, and off road vehicles.

Nike or adidas?

I picked up these cute Sketchers bikers a couple of years ago.

Myspace or facebook

It took two months of patient wrangling just to get into my myspace enough to try to delete it, and it's still there. I can't get back in. Facebook is very user friendly, I deleted the crap out of my old one and started a new one.

Pink or red?

Blue. blue lips - AOL Image Search Results I once dreamed I had half my face tattooed the way David Lee Roth had his face painted on his Eat 'Em and Smile album.

Black or white

Pink is the new black ~and~ the new white, the new blue in India, the now it's the new purple. I wouldn't be surprised if pink were the new pink.

Rock or pop

With me it's more like a metal or new age thing, depending on my mood.

What color are your socks

See my sox.

What color is your bra?

I want to get a red one.

Are you wearing skinny jeans?

I love flared legs. I have this thing. It was practically fashionable in the 70's to get your jeans caught in your bike chain.

You think you set or follow trends?

I wait until they go back outa fashion and then cannonball in and splash everyone. I'm very annoying like that.

Have you ever done something just to fit in?

I've never fit in with anyone in my life, even when I tried. Once in awhile a group builds up and follows me around like Buckaroo Banzai during the ending credits, but I tend to attract fringe people that other people like to bomb and then they start wars in my comments and then I kinda freak out about being pushed to be the rebel leader by people going through breakdowns of some kind. You all are on your own if you start fighting. I don't take sides any more.

Do you go to the mall oftenly?

I drive past it a lot. They've got cool stuff in there, but if they can't accommodate me at 7 a.m., see ya.

Do you have many friends?

They're afraid to admit it right now. I had a very typical aspie meltdown one year and obliterated my sites, and I'm blown away that even after all that, they still regularly traffic through every week checking on me, even during the whole year and a half I had nothing on it. *snif* I mean, that gets you ~right here~. But yeah, it's really impressive, I have some really really good friends out there all over the place, and I love you guys.

Do you dislike any of your friends?

No. I actually like all of them. It's my own personality that gets in the way.

Whats your BESTEST friend's ever name?

Scott, always gonna be Scott.

Have you ever had a down moment with that person?

Oh, heck yeah. Two whole years all we could say to each other was we want a divorce. 19 years married on August 5th. If you can't figure out how to be best buds with someone by the time you get old, you wind up going through a bunch of hard crap all by yourself, and that sux. I'd rather have a friend around. We laugh a *lot*.

Most memorable moment with that person?

Cupcake. You had to be there. aspie lovin'

Who was your most recent missed call from?

Let's see, that was 23 days ago. That's not so much an indicator that I'm johnny-on-the-spot answering my phone, but that everyone I know is so used to me not liking to use the phone that they rarely call. They are well trained.

Who was the last person you called?

My dad. You all need to call your dads. Don't give me junk about how they this or that, or you don't have time, or whatever, just call. You'll find out how much I took from my dad when the book comes out.

What does your 5th message in your inbox say?

Scott was laughing that he accidentally texted a pic of his leprosy to the wrong number and how they must've wtf'd.

Don't worry, it's old scarring from an e.coli infection from when he let his legs hang in the river during a canoe trip, and now that he's older he really has to watch easy internal bleeding under the scarring because his skin integrity is so shot. (edit several days later- ok, it's actually pretty scary and we're going into the doctor every day and they're running every test they can think of ruling out everything they can, because they think it's gone autoimmune).

Who was it from?

I like making up cool Wabble game names to intrigue people and then putting on crazy unrelated passwords so no one can get in except my secret pals. Random trivia during redundant questioning.

Single or taken?

I have to drink a lot of chocolate milk today. I bought some because my niece and nephew spent the night this week, and no one drank any, and now it's sitting there with an expiration date. I'm clocking out doses of chocolate milk now because I'm diabetic. I can have one cup every two hours without spiking as long as I don't have any other carbs today. Getting a lot of dairy protein and calcium! And chocolate. I'll have to watch that, my heart wants to race when I have too much. I heard dogs die of heart attacks when they eat chocolate. I have no idea if this is true. I know I've wound up in the ER a couple times after going a little crazy on hot chocolate. Likewise, I have to be careful with coffee and tea, as well.

If so, by who?

In other random babbling, I'm so happy that Nerdist got picked up for tv on BBCA that I twitterpated all over my dvr this last weekend.

What color are your eyes

Well, to me they look like a weird yellow brown, but most people just say I have brown eyes. I get kinda freaked out looking at eyes for any real length of time, even in the mirror, and after avoiding this question on I don't know how many surveys, I thought What the heck, what color ARE my eyes? Well, I spent nearly an hour doing a whole study, using my cell phone and computer. The light in the kitchen makes my eye look yellower, the light in my bathroom makes it look browner, and I had all kinds of fun zooming and pixelating.

Scott had to go look at his eyes in the mirror after I showed him this.

Whats your favorite color?

I get the biggest kick out of ~this one~.

What song are you listening to right now?

I keep preempting the questions, don't I?

Do you like to dance?

The funnest dancing I ever did was 'showtimes' at a nice 50'/60's lounge with a long food bar that I cooked for and assembled. I got to wear suspenders with awesome pins all up and down them and a cool driver's cap and a bartender armband, and we'd get on top of the bars or out on the dance floor and do dance routines to certain songs that came up every 15 or 20 minutes.

Do you like to sing?

I love to sing, spent 10 years in choir classes all through public school so I could go on field trips and get in plays and stuff, and then I got into a church choir so I could be on tv one year, which was fun.

Do you believe in

What, dangling sentences? I follow the Ancient Alien guy on Twitter, he gets into the most hilarious fights with people about beliefs.

Do you believe in love at first sight?

That's usually what happens with food.

How about true love

True love is a lie when you come up super allergic to citrus and have to give up lemon pie forever.

Do you believe in bros before hoes?

Are you a whore?

I tried that with Scott a few times, he doesn't seduce easily. Too nerdy, too suspicious, too messed over by other women in his past.

Are most of your friends guys or girls?

I've never tallied. I was surprised to find out at MegaCon one year how many webmasters will slyly sidle up and very quietly introduce themselves because they fear being outed and shredded by rival web gangs, and one in particular that I'd admired from afar turned out to be a really cool guy instead of the really cool slightly insinuated lezbi girl, which I guess is a good way to hide from the public if you fear wrath somewhere, just pass the hot potato on or something and rarely speak up on boards kind of thing. I never learned that, I got stoned a lot. The bad kind. Web rocks hurt just as bad as real rocks, and when you have a compulsion to pop back up and nyahnyah to draw fire, yeah, lotta rocks. Where was I? Oh, yeah, it was a great time, really stirred up the fans, had a blast being shot at, and now I think it's just all too funny. What the heck, frenemies, friends, it's all good.

Favorite candy?

I've kinda been cheating on the Doctor and Connor Temple and started hanging out with these guys.

Favorite ice cream flavor?

I no can haz. wah.

Ever cried yourself to sleep?

That's a good way to drown in your own snot, and no, I can't even imagine being able to sleep after I've cried that hard, am I right? Not intending to make fun of anyone crying, because it sux. When you can cry for several hours till your throat hurts real bad and your head hurts and you feel too sick to eat, your life is sucking so bad that you couldn't go to sleep in the first place.

Ever slept on your computer?

I once slept on my phone and came unglued like a cat when it started ringing. I know people who can't sleep without their phones on all the time because they're so hooked into needing live broadcasts to survive, THAT would strip my sanity and leave me curled up in a gutter. I would look like John Bigbooty in the asylum.

Longest you've used your computer?

Years. We had one that completely crashed twice and limped along like a cripple on staticky dial up, and I was building a huge website I couldn't even pull up to see properly, just had to go on the layout I could see in my head. I'll never forget the first time I saw the whole thing pull up all at once while I was goofing off in a medical terminology computer classroom, I nearly wept it was so beautiful, like a glossy interactive fan magazine. I have dreams of building awesome 3D holographic sites in a futuristic world where computer coding is alive in a pandimensional field and touch screens are a joke. I wake up sad sometimes. Then I get some coffee and get more ideas and get busy again.

Whose your #1 top?

Me. Weird Al said it best, I can be my own best friend and I can send myself for pizza.

Why?

Because when all the chips are down, if you can't count on yourself to save your own life, who CAN you count on? And can other people count on you? I am the Bruce Willis of the whole believing in one's self angle.

Favorite smiley?

>=)

Are you addicted to something?

Youtube. I like salvaging broken fan vids that stop playing right or aren't embeddable. I collect youtubes like some people collect ball cards, action figures, and hot wheels.

Do you consider yourself a myspace freak?

I geeked out over there for awhile making Willy Wonka and other stuff, it was fun. Got really sick of Tom. Did you know there's a way to rewrite youtube codes? I totally had it down.

Do you edit your profile oftenly?

I was really surprised to find out I still have one here when I came back from my internet vacation. I'd forgotten I filled that out.

Rock or pop?

Seriously? Duplicate questioning? Maybe my answer wasn't acceptable. Um, I also kinda like electronic dance music like iiO. What genre is Eiffel 65? They're like several things all squashed together and sorta slightly grunged or something.

Have you ever been in a fist fight?

I grew up having to face down farm animals 10 times my weight. I scared a couple of guys half to death one time when they started tickling me at a party and I had them both down in an eyeblink because tickling someone with Asperger's is always a huge mistake, one's chest was bleeding and the other's shirt was ripped, and I don't remember how.

Do you want to?

Adamantly, no. I don't understand people trying to goad me into fighting. I come from 400 years of Mennonites. People think that means wimp, but we're pretty good at killing things.

Have you ever thought about having sex?

This was an abrupt pivot.

Have you ever babysat, if so, who?

I have too many bad memories of how my mom used to send me to friends' houses and I'd be stuck with monstrous brats for hours, over and over and over. You know what? You had 'em, you sit with 'em. I raised my own, I didn't farm them out while I pursued a career or went back to college. If I couldn't find a way to do that and still be there for my kids, I didn't do it, and I still managed to get a degree and hold a job. Part of that commitment was that I loved my kids and didn't trust anyone, so it all worked out. Not crazy about hearing other people's sob stories about their kid going to jail or getting pregnant or being a drunk or dropping out of school or whatever when you know the kids got stuck with babysitters and/or raising themselves.

Have you ever waited soo long for something you wanted to happen so bad?

This is why I get up so early and get my shopping and traveling and whatever else done, because the lines get ridiculous later.

Are you content with your life?

Yep. Facing a future dismally bemoaning my lot in life seems like too much of a drag.

Who is your role model?

I'm clearly developing some baditude and getting cranky with some of these last couple of questions, so let's see, lately it's the Hillywood Show, who I have watched grow up on youtube. They recently got a big public promo for their own music video, very cool.

Whats your best feature?

I keep forgetting this is supposed to be a girly survey. I had to go ask Scott what my best feature is because I don't know how to gauge these things. He said I've got pretty eyes. But he also likes werewolves and vampires and zombies, so I guess the yellow part I think I see in my eyes is becoming.

Your worst feature?

Scott's got a fever and is on antibiotic right now, so I'm not sure asking him this one really counts. He's never been the sort to call me names or talk down to me, so it's anyone's guess. If I had to complain about one particular thing that is wonky about me, I'd say I'm not entirely thrilled with the way my ears seem to be getting bigger as I get older. I once saw a picture of a 100 year old woman whose ears had spread out like pancakes on the sides of her head, and I cringe to think someday I could have really big ears. They've been so tiny most of my life.

Are you racist?
Completely. I really loathe spiders and all their kind.

Are you a sexist?
The whole neighborhood is sexist, I'm not allowed to keep a rooster around the place, although I am stubbornly defying them.

Do you discriminate?
Heck yeah, every time I see someone hanging around the front of a store with flyers in their hand I tell them don't talk to me. Actually, I have to do that because once I stop to talk, I tend to out-argue just for the game of it, and Scott has to get my arm and drag me off talking.

Are you ashamed of talking to someone or being seen talking to someone who isnt as popular as you?
I have a facial recognition problem, half the time I don't know who the heck I'm talking to even if I've seen them before. Keeping track of popularity seems more laborious than keeping track of family birthdays, so I just avoid everyone in general.

Do you talk shit?
I can go from totally silent for 3 hours to TMI without warning, so don't ask me about anything personal unless you wanna be grossed out. As for gossip, no, I don't care to do that. I'm usually disappointed in people who succumb to that.

Have you ever talked shit?
I tend to point out the obvious, the conflicts of interest, and incongruencies. People don't like me getting interested enough to open my mouth because I enjoy pointing out the flaws in the person talking the shit.

Do you care about what other people think about you?
No, seriously I don't. I don't have the craving to be loved all the time.

Have you ever not been yourself to impress someone?
I think the only way I impress people is just being myself and not having a clue.

Have you ever done yourself VERY pretty with so much makeup and a whole different outfit to make a guy like you?
I'm not sure that's what guys like. I've done that to make other girls uncomfortable, though. They get so territorial, it's like putting the biggest mask on makes you the winner.

Have you ever betrayed someone?
I've heard other people go on about being betrayed, and I've never gotten what the deal is. Betrayal implies you're holding secret cards that can get you outed in some way, so if someone rats you out and you can't trust them, that only means you smile and keep playing along and then push them out of the car in traffic. Metaphorically. I've never done that, but I know people who really do that.

Water or soda?
Never soda. Have you wondered where all that carbon dioxide goes once you ingest it? Your body doesn't use it, it has to get rid of it. You don't burp it all out, so your body has to find other ways to get it out by dissolving it in the your bloodstream, which overloads you on carbon dioxide. Ok, technically this has never been proven, but it's a working hypothesis I have about why I feel better when I don't drink pop of any kind. Or it could be this. Flame retardant chemical found in US soft drinks

Coke or pepsi?
I avoid all pop like the plague anyway because they generally list 'natural flavors' in their ingredients. I'm very allergic to lemon and reactive to all other citrus, and lemon is a natural flavor that is used to boost all kinds of bottled and canned foods. You wouldn't believe how often you ingest lemon around the clock.

Look behind you, whats behind you?
You've no idea how much this question creeped me out. I mean, what if I'd turned around and there had been a spider peeking at me from behind that bale of straw?

Have you ever been rejected or dumped?
Someone was killed in the process. It'll get creepy in the book.

Have you ever thought about how school would be like if someone didnt go there?
Especially if the mom is the coach of the girls volleyball team her daughter is on, and she never gets benched no matter how bad she plays. And she's on the school board...

Do you hate anyone?
I'm not really into hating. It's a waste of time and energy I could be doing something else with.

Do you love anyone?
I love these horses. They're French.

Have you ever gotten drunk?
ER cocktails are a surprise.

Would you pass a drug test?
Epic winning. I'm the only person I know who has managed to come off 25 years of medically sanctioned benzodiazapine addiction without replacing it with other meds. They laugh at me because it was always low dose, but hey, my GABA receptors were ~wrecked~ and the taper took two years. That whole bug crawling and biting sensation thing is *real*. I've heard from several people that benzo withdrawal sux as bad as heroin withdrawal.

Whats your locker number?
I still have stress dreams about forgetting locker combinations and finding out I'm still in college and failing all my classes and a huge paper is due in one hour and stuff like that. Missing the bus. I'm so scarred.

Do you have good hygine?
Ok, I can't take this anymore. Ask me if I can SPELL. omg. My hygiene is fine, thank you. I've been fixing some of the questions, but I'm done with that.

Have you ever danced infront of the mirror?
Never. I use mirrors for important things, like seeing if there is a bug on me somewhere.

Ever checked out someone from the same sex?
Scott's been checked out several times right in front of me, like *wow*. He must be really hot. I told him if I was a guy I'd be super gay for him, too.

Ever bit your toenail?
Scott used to bite his toenails and taught his little girl to do it. I don't care what else gets said about me, I can't imagine stooping to that level. I wish there'd been such a thing as cell phone cameras and facebook back when this was going on, I'd have shopped those out everywhere. #heathens

Ever slept outside your house?
We have a word around here, *bugs*. If you've never lived in the woods, you have no clue how many bugs exist on this planet.

Been to a sleepover?
Hey, we just had one of those this week! Little kids and school supplies and lots of running around being loud and silly. And now it's all quiet again.

Peed in your pants WHEN YOU WERE A CHILD, TODDLER?
Emphasis? Is that really necessary? And is this really worth answering?

What's your wallpaper?
I'm always amazed when teens or pre-teens making surveys go from an inane really low IQ question straight to something that involves technology. I can tell this one is burning out. Getting tempting to count and see if there really are 100 questions here, but I'm getting tired of this too and don't care any more.

11th person on your contact list?
I usually don't go beyond 5. And I'm usually the one at the top of other people's contact list, I'm so handy in a crisis or a pinch.

Laptop or desktop?
Well, as soon as we commit to wireless printing and scanning, I'll say laptop. Which I'm actually on right now. I'm a fence rider.

Ever asked for money?
I think I should have been paid for this one, or at least gotten a coupon for a free item at the grocery store. These things take days to fill out.

Did you enjoy this survey?
I'm wondering what exactly about this survey means it's girly? Well, ok, there were a number of questions about how catty I could be, I guess. Shame that means girly. We now direct traffic back to Wil Wheaton's bedhead report. You, too, can get this kind of breaking news simply by following his twitter feed, along with other super cool stuff, and this is a cool thing to do now thanx to TheBloggess. Prolly the girliest thing about me in this survey is that I've been getting Wil's twitter feed so long that I know everything the guy does. I don't do this with anyone else on the planet. I mean, how many people refuse to name their pet after Wil Wheaton just so they won't ever have to say Wil Wheaton ate a worm or Wil Wheaton beat up someone's dog or.... My neighbors are going to be so surprised when Dr. Parrish ninjas out all over them. >=D heh heh

survey- Can You Spill Your Deep Dark Secrets?

2014-10-24T09:11:00.000-05:00

Originally posted on 12-10-12. Note for people who might think transferring these surveys is an even bigger waste of time than doing them in the first place. 7000+ words...??? Many writers I've seen on twitter and in blogs think 1500-2000 words is a big deal. This is my brain all the time. I can't stop it. Surveys are a really good way to train your brain past writers blocks.

:edit: 6-3-14 The old youtube codes got wiped out, I can’t remember what was there before so I’m replacing them with new ones. You wouldn’t believe the code mess that involved me cleaning up, there are over 7000 words in here. O_o

:edit: 10-24-14 I'd like to personally thank John Barrowman for standing around in his underwear in public and devout Merlin fans for ranking this survey into my top five of all time with thousands of views over a server migration and several code smashes. I love you guys.

Can You Spill Your Deep Dark Secrets?

From http://www.myspacebulletins.com/takesurvey.php?id=721

Who is the last person that hurt your feelings?
Apparently I forgave and forgot, because I can’t recall a thing. Or maybe I wasn’t paying attention, it’s really hard to tell. I’m busy. Btw, now that I can see this on my new smart phone, I know that you sometimes get big gaps where there are youtubes. Be patient. Keep reading and come back.

Would you consider plastic surgery?
Scott got the staple gun out for this job. Yeah, I know it looks like he put them on the wrong side, but the street is on the left. Several shrubs in the yard got colored up, too.

What is bothering you at this moment?
I’m coming slowly down off one of those week-long migraines that travel down your spine, everything else by sheer comparison is a welcome distraction. Like Scott cleaning out his old tackle box all over the coffee table, I actually asked about some of his lures. He thinks I’m cool and like to talk to him about his little hooks and stuff, but it’s really just me desperately looking for a way to claw out of this tangled sensory web I’m trapped in. Kinda like how he nearly got tangled up in his fishing line in the kitchen yesterday. He showed me how to make a blood knot, but I don’t remember. (Ok, a week has gone by since I wrote that, I’m feeling better now.)

Ever started a rumor about someone?
I seriously considered spilling the beans that I was pregnant with Brian Downey‘s baby after MegaCon ’07, because the fandom was already in a crazy tizzy, but decided no one would appreciate the joke. Scott would have gone along with it, he thought it was funny.

Whats the craziest reason why you broke up with someone?
Scott said it was to save money, but when I tried to schedule a blood test they had my file so mangled that they had me married to someone else, and calling back two more times kept twisting up the information more and more, so I finally said forget it, I’ll just keep the old life insurance. The insurance broker tried to explain to me that the schedulers are just hired off the street and have nothing to do with the actual blood test or paperwork, but that underwhelmed me even more. These kids are old enough to text and drive, I bet they could do the work better if their desks were zooming around the office and they could only use their thumbs on a teeny tiny keypad. So I broke up with the people I was breaking up with the other people for.

Have you ever been accused of cheating on a partner?
I hide the snacks I buy, Scott hides the snacks he buys. Stuff like this can save a marriage. Well, except the cheese. Scott always finds my seriously sharp cheddar.

Ever lied about your age?
Scott once tried to get me to say I was 55 to get the senior discount. I was nowhere near 50 and protested, and he tried to swoon me with “They’ll tell you how young you look!” This is why God made the evil eye, to keep nidiots in line.

Last time you masterbated?
That’s spelled with a u, sweetheart, masturbated. No one ever asks really good questions about this kind of stuff. Like how much did I regret it later.

Ever felt the need to change yourself for someone?
Bathing regularly is a nice thing to do. I just erased a lengthy rant about lazy people who cover up their lack of bathing with expensive designer fragrances. Aiming this at young women in particular, after growing up with sisters, raising daughters, and picking up after girls in an intimates department fitting room for 5 years. USE SOAP.

When is the last time you prayed?
I pray for the weirdest stuff in my dreams. Hey, I know this is way off the subject, but I’m counting down till I can live stream Merlin at 1:55 this afternoon (7:55 UK time), and this advent calendar teaser just came through on twitter, so I’m sharing.

:edit: due to technical difficulties, this video is being replaced.

Do you watch porn?
I am the one person you don’t want in the room for a group porn watch. I can’t help totally going MST3K all over it until everyone is ready to throw me off a balcony. Likewise, I’ve wondered a few times just how quickly I’d manage to kill an orgy, because I would be laughing so hard that no one would be able to focus. That’s probably why villagers used to tie people to a rock as a sacrifice to the local demon, because what else do you do with someone like that. I’d be better off with Muppet porn, so I could be like Statler and Waldorf.

Have any of your ex’s turned gay?
I told Scott if I were a guy he’d get better sex out of me because I’d totally be gay, but I don’t think that frightens him as much as it should. I laughed at this hat so much yesterday that he switched to a different hat today.

What do you wish you did for a living?
Scott said he’ll give me half if he ever wins the lottery, so I aspire to hope he wins for a living. Or maybe I’ll get something published. I’ve gotta stop being so lazy… This would be a good pic for a caption.

What is worse a cheater or a liar?
Both make pretty good characters if you’re writing something, according to Xander Bennett. He’s one of the extremely few people I allow mobile alerts for day and night. http://twitter.com/xanderbennett Read- How to Write a Kick-Ass Protagonist by Xander Bennett | Script Frenzy

Do you still have stuffed animals?
Marcel is ticked that I haven’t let him ride any of the chickens yet. It’s on his bucket list. I think it’s a little ambitious, and what if the chicken freaks out and takes off, will I ever find him again if he falls off, or will the other chickens try to attack him if I tie him on? But yeah, I did promise him that one day we could try it, and he’s all excited, like he’d be riding a dinosaur like in Land of the Lost. I’d like to wait till they slack off on their laying first, last thing I need is a stressed out chicken with a stuck egg.
What happens to the chicken when the eggs get stuck inside of her

Do you dance around in your underwear?
The last time I got excited enough to dance around I smashed my ankle on the coffee table. I don’t think being in my underwear would have changed anything, unless I had hurt myself badly enough to have to call 9-1-1, and then it would have been memorable for a number of people. See, this is why I need really super cool underwear like John Barrowman, so my embarrassment won’t come from how dumb my ordinary panties are. He is partnered with a Scott, too. We’re very lucky, both our Scotts have awesome butts and thighs.

Do you own a dildo or vibrator?
I could say I don’t need one because I get off just fine on everything else in the house, and it saves money, but that’s probably tmi. I think some of the funniest pix on the internet are photo bombs with animals in them. I know, OT, but this question needed something more interesting than my epic fails.
The 35 Greatest Animal Photobombers Of All Time

Are you a picky person?
Ex~treme~ly. I write letters to companies about their products and wind up with all kinds of coupons for free stuff. I guess that’s how they shut people up.

Do you wish your boobs were bigger?
5:30 a.m., see a spider, try to hurry so I can get the spider before it gets away or crawls on me (it’s within 8 inches of my foot and it looks like a brown recluse), but I can’t stop peeing because my bladder is so full, and it’s nearly at my foot and then going by and I’m really trying to hurry up, dang it, and FINALLY I can get up and grab that spider in some toilet paper and flush it down, thank goodness. Always when I’m peeing… Bigger boobs wouldn’t have helped that situation. And I’ve had bigger boobs. I was glad they shrunk a bit when I lost 50 pounds.

What do you find yourself doing while laying in bed?

Getting back up constantly. I can’t help it. I have gone so far as to get up and iron stuff at 3 in the morning. Sometimes I’m nearly asleep and an awesome idea blazes through my mind, and I have to sit up and write several pages of stuff. Usually I just flip through the Dish guide or check stuff on my laptop, once in awhile I read. And from what I see on twitter, I think half the world is like this. No, what you’re thinking doesn’t help.

Ever been skinny dipping?
I dip fat free chicken tenders in egg before I crumb and bake them.

How many times have you checked up on your ex?
We keep an eye on the obituaries. One can dream.

Do you consider yourself trust worthy?
You can completely trust me to be devious behind your back.

Ever used a fake ID or one that wasn’t you?
I have seen people try to pass themselves off as someone else. This only works if you have the same skin color and gender of the ID you just stole. #tinybrains

How old was your oldest sexual partner?
Caution, sensitive stuff, close your eyes- I think the grossest pet butchering eating I’ve ever been through was an old Suffolk ram, my dad’s delight, a blue ribbon winner in a big county fair out west, and the only animal we moved with us to Missouri- in the back of our station wagon. No kidding, he traveled in the car with us. I’m sure we looked like idiots. He threw wonderful lambs for many years, and even when he got too old to keep up, Dad couldn’t bear to part with him, so he kept him around, which is a big thing on a farm where everything is supposed to be efficient and useful. That ram became a favorite for a calf that Dad decided to keep for a bull instead of selling it for a steer, and that calf humped the ram till he could barely cripple around at all. When the ram finally started losing weight, Dad made The Decision, and with tears in his eyes, led the ram out of the pen to butcher him. You know, I’ve eaten all kinds of young things, and mothers who weren’t going to make it through birthing and whatever, but eating that really old crippled guy who’d been raped over and over till he could no longer walk was about as low as it could get. I’m not a PETA person, I still eat meat, but my stomach has been so turned over the years by certain kinds of neglect that get mistaken for fondness for one’s pet that I can hardly stand being around people like that any more. People who own animals (slaves) have a responsibility, and whether we wind up eating them or not pales against the quality of life those animals lead. Just writing all this down made me feel a little sick. -Ok, you can open your eyes now.

Have you ever faked an orgasm?
I keep getting these weird factoids on twitter from various sources about snails and a certain kind of worm and a rare breed of frog, pretty much every kind of animal sooner or later, about copulation statistics, like how long their orgasms last or how many times they do it or whether they die afterward, and I think of all the things that have ever grossed me out about being human, at least we’re not weirder or grosser, you know? And I see no sense in faking orgasms, that’s a weird head game. I think it would behoove the public to receive weird factoids on twitter about what sorts of psychological situations motivate people not to be honest with each other. I just tell Scott to hurry up and get off me if there is any chance I might get super aroused, then super pissed because he’s done and I’m not, and then bite his head off. It’s a mutual arrangement that has contributed to nearly 20 ongoing successful years of marriage. He seems to appreciate that I don’t make a big deal out of it every single time.

If your last ex apologized would you get back with them?
If my last ex apologizes, I will wonder what happened to time and space and hell freezing over. I don’t think he has the fortitude, to be euphemistic. Actually, I have two exes of any significance, so this is a different one than the one in a previous question where I was checking obits.

What family memeber are you closest to?
I’m having the hardest time getting through this survey, have been working on it over a week already. This is the time of year that I either go numb and disengage my brain or join the cacophony of chaos that the holidays bring. (I wrote that a week ago, so now I’m in my second week of working on this. Here have a pie picture. It’s chocolate, and the green sugar sprinkles are supposed to make it festive.)

What does death teach us about life?
See, like this question. I’ve passed this question about 50 times, but today I’m going to answer it. Yesterday I made a cool post on another blog about my old hen, pictures and everything, and mere hours after I posted it, a great big hawk got her. How many months has she been able to roam around the yard for a couple of hours every day and nothing happens, and the day I make a post about her, she dies a tragic murderous death. I jinxed her.

If nothing was holding you back, where would you live and why?
I love it when some goob says something on twitter about somebody famous, and someone else pops up with a reply about how they live only 3 doors down from them and it’s really not like that, etc. Um, hit and run on twitter from a huge house on the same street as a celeb? Seriously, you have nothing *better* to do than stalk people who hashtag someone on your street? I think this is how you find people who really do have nothing holding them back and actually DO live wherever they want, like down the street from someone they’ve been stalking for years. Sooner or later, they just can’t stand it any more and have to flush out of the bushes and say something. *wow* Creepy.

When was the last time you cried?
I was outside in the wind helping Scott hang Christmas lights around some of our little evergreen bush tree things, and the cold wind made my nose run and my eyes water. And then my left eyelid got so irritated that my eyes watered for over an hour after I came back in the house.

What is the earliest memory you have of a sibling?
Every time I listen to My Best Friend’s Girl by the Cars and they get to the line “Every new boy that she meets doesn’t know the real surprise” I crack up thinking about my youngest daughter puking her lungs out everywhere she goes. She’s so cute and pretty and easily nauseated, she can pick up any guy and he can be so dazzled, and then she gets a stomach bug or maybe has a girls night out once in awhile, and there it goes, all over someone’s car, all over someone’s bathroom, hours and hours of misery while her poor nervous system is cranked up to defcon one.

What is the earliest photograph of yourself that you have that you remember when it was taken?

I never was much of a self portrait person for years, just never thought to even look in a mirror most of the time, even though people all around me take hundreds of pictures of themselves, and one friend even gave me a whole cd full of herself for some reason. But the last few years I’ve been practicing, and I mostly just wind up with stuff like this.

How did you meet your first boyfriend or girlfriend?

I’m so backward with the Asperger’s (now being lumped back into Autism Spectrum Disorders, wish they’d make up their minds) that I was in my 30′s before I realized that the little boy I slugged in the second grade for kissing me on the playground and then I chased all over the place up through 5th grade could actually be defined by gradeschool standards as a ‘boyfriend’. I never had another boyfriend through the whole rest of school.

Describe your typical day, from wake to sleep.

Dazed, confused, hysterically ridiculous, and recklessly absorbed in my obsession du jour.

What would be your ideal birthday present, and why?
Well, I’ve pretty much already gotten Christmas. Scott upgraded our broadband and bought me a smart phone. If I had the money I’d upgrade to business broadband and purchase a few more gigs on my phone plan.

Think of a loved one that you have lost. If you could ask this person one question, what would you ask, and what do you think they would say?
Scott and I have already thought of this. He says he’s going to get a safe deposit box for the insurance papers so I won’t have to run a seance trying to ask him, because he’s so bad about packing things in unlabeled boxes and moving them around all the time. I’m pretty sure he’ll be as ADD after death as he is in life, and will be impatient to move on.

What is the best advice you ever received?
I don’t know why I think I remember a bible verse about a prophet telling an evil king to go back to bed for another hour so his people can get some relief, but whatever it was impressed me when I was younger. I haven’t been able to find it, and when stuff like this happens it feels all Matrix-y, like something changed, and maybe I really do remember something because my brain didn’t completely readjust. Or like maybe time travel is real and people really do go back and change little things in history. I remember when I was a preteen crawling through the hay gathering eggs, was suddenly gripped with the weird thought that when I come back out, everything was changed, and I didn’t know who the president was. That was back in the 70′s, I had never seen any scifi like that, had never seen a Twilight Zone, etc. I have a cousin who experiences stuff like that, too, said one day in grade school he was terrified because the teacher handed him back a paper with a good grade on it, and he *knew* he didn’t do that work, and walking home after school through a vacant lot he freaked out about a tree being gone, and his sister said there was never a tree there. Either he and I drift through parallel lives, or things really do change, or we’re crazy, and my psychologist has assured me I’m not crazy. Anyway, it really bothers me that I can’t ever find that bible verse. If anyone else knows what I’m talking about, ~please~ put it in my comments. Otherwise I can only assume I’m on my way to early Alzheimer’s or something. :edit: 6-3-14 Someone reminded me that was Linus ‘quoting’ to Charlie Brown.

If you were to die today what would like people to say about you?
At this point, no one would have a clue because I’ve disappeared off the internet before, so no one would say much of anything. But if you really want to know how to know, my photobucket premium will expire and most of my images will disappear off my blogs, but my blogs will still be there.

If you could be anybody, who would you be?
I sometimes think it would be super cool if we could swap bodies with someone for a day, but I can see all kinds of charges and litigations popping up over that kind of stuff. And it would be super weird if it was like Being John Malkovich. Bodies are like our local address in the big cosmology of spacetime, if you want to get all new age-y, and no matter what else, we always wind up having to come back to our own bodies that we’re born into (assuming people really can astral project and whatever). If we weren’t tied down like this and really could move in and out of bodies like we get in and out of cars, can you imagine the weird kinds of violence and cruelty we could invent? It’s one thing to rape someone else’s body, imagine being able to steal it or use it for something the original ‘owner’ wouldn’t like. People with stronger spirit wills would cast weaker people out and take their bodies and force whatever pleasure and use they could out of them and then move on when they quit working. It’s like a blessing we’re *stuck* in our own bodies.

What is the most important aspect of your life and why?
My mind, ego, world view, whatever you want to call it. My attitude has gotten me through a LOT of stuff. When life sux, you flop on your face for awhile, then you get pissed off and kick back. And since I’m getting a message that these vids won’t play through a website or something, I’m giving you two versions of it, both awesome, both click out to the original youtube pages.:edit: Forget that, both got wiped, here, have another one.

Where would you travel, if you could go anywhere?

I like going to a variety of grocery stores. I know that’s weird, but that’s my thing. I like seeing all the different brands and prices and label art, the floor plans, the signage, etc. I’d rather go to a grocery store than just about anywhere else, I feel very at home in them.

What time period you would like to be born in?

Sometimes I have dreams where I’m way in the future, society has broken down all over the planet, geography has drastically changed, and I’m running around with other people through derelict buildings that are so old you almost can’t tell anymore that they were structures. In one dream we were being chased by something big that looked like nothing I’ve ever seen, and got trapped in a blocked hallway that would otherwise have been open to the elements, and I remembered (???) that the sliding glass doors (how did I know what they were?) only needed power to close, and the rest of the dream was like I just hijacked this person’s mind and tore open a panel and jimmied some wiring behind the buttons like you see people do on tv shows, the doors slid shut, and the animal couldn’t come in. I woke up *right* after that, so I have no idea if those people ever got out of there, but I do remember being so surprised that worked, and wondering how in the world I knew that, and I realized *then* that the person whose head I was in had never seen electricity work. It’s only one of many dreams where I’m riding along in someone else’s head, and I’m not me at all. I think, if that could possibly have been real, that building was originally an underground facility on nuclear power or something. Can’t explain it otherwise. My coolest remote dream ever was the accidental soul traveler.

If your best friend came to you depressed and upset like you’ve never seen before, how would you react?

This has happened. Situations like this are why I don’t have friends. I need a t-shirt that says “I Suck”, because with the Asperger’s it takes at least 3 months for the ‘oh…’ to hit and realize what I should have done and said. Hmm, can’t believe how many different kinds of I Suck tees came up on a search… I’m forever stepping innocently into the offensive without a thought or clue. It’s kind of like when I wanted to find Black Rocks (a chicken breed) and my search bar autocorrected to black cocks, which I thought would also be chickens. And one time I looked up ‘chicken fanciers’ because there are dog and cat breed fanciers, right? I learned a LOT that day. Wo, free associated right off this question into sexland. See, this is why I suck as a friend, I really can’t stay in the moment with your sadness. Here, have some fun stuff while I move on to the next question.

Would you be a different person today if you had a different childhood?

Different parents would have been phenomenal. I was jealous of kids who were adopted.

If you could build a car customized just for you, what would it contain?

A driver. Scott isn’t always available. I’m ok with driving, but ever since my brain glitched, driving has become a little too interesting. It’s like the little Tom-Tom voice in my head gets caught in the Matrix and has to redownload the map over and over while I circle around for a landing.

When have you realized you were really wrong in your judgment about someone?

I knew a girl named Nicole who looked like a young blond haired blue eyed Angelina Jolie without her makeup. Her agent got her a gig in the 2005 issue of 417 Bride, *wow*. I withheld judgment, but her life was a little ridiculous, and not for reasons you think. I know she got other gigs and was flown somewhere for a commercial or infomercial or something, but I have no idea where she is now.

How do you react when you realize you’ve made a mistake?

I’m never surprised. I’ve tried being horrified, like when I accidentally post something public instead of protected, but I can’t keep up the momentum. The best thing to do is live your life like the way you keep your keychain. Mine is big because it’s full of extra cool collectible stuff, and it’s like that because I drop them a lot and more than once I’ve had to crawl under my front deck because they fell through a crack, but that stopped when I loaded it all up and made it too big to fall through the crack, right? We finally rebuilt the front deck and fixed all that, but it’s so handy being able to grab, grip, and catch a really big keychain. That’s what you do with your life, load it up with lots of easy stuff to hang onto when everything falls apart. That way when mistakes are made, you don’t fall through any cracks.

If you had to sacrifice one of your senses (taste, touch, smell, sight, hearing), which would you choose and why?

Been there, done that, Bell’s Palsy, sucked, ongoing nerve damage- I think the biggest loss for me was when I lost my joy for chocolate. That lasted about two years. When it came back I was ecstatic. Imagine never being able to taste chocolate again, wouldn’t that suck?

Who has more power the government or the people?

George Soros. Fox Mulder is probably close to figuring out he’s the link between the coming world government and the coming alien incursion.

Did I recently have an interesting conversation?

I can’t believe out of all the Guidos and all the Spocks on twitter, no one has grabbed GuidoSpock. So I did.

http://twitter.com/guidospock Wonder how that will turn out.

Who is the person that I feel has altered the course of my morals and values, and how did they effect me?

My Wookie Jesus t-shirt arrived in the mail last week. I got it on an online Black Friday deal for $13 from Glow-in-the-Dark Wookiee Jesus Shirt – The Oatmeal.

What is my earliest or happiest memory?

Is it annoying anyone else that the survey creator switched from ‘you’ and ‘your’ to ‘me’ and ‘my’? What’s up with that? Hey, they’re still looking for the guy that I was tweeting about the other day during the manhunt only a couple miles from my house, and *now* they are saying he’s armed and dangerous. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night… I bet he gets a truckload of coal this year.

Which amendment to the constitution is the most important to you and why?

I really like the part that says the government can’t walk into our houses and just accuse us of stuff and take anything away from us without due course. People used to be executed or thrown into jail at the drop of a hat. I think too many people today don’t know this stuff.

Is speech always free? When and where might it not be free?

Who are you, and what did you do with the survey creator? Is this a group project, or is this the same person who asked if I’ve ever faked an orgasm?

When were you the happiest this year?
I’m ~always~ happy. I was especially happy that my mil didn’t speak to me for 5 months.

Recall a place, person or event, what emotion do you remember feeling most strongly?
Do we need a little eye candy here? Just a little… You can click that pic if you want to follow his tweets.

Which friend has had the greatest impact on your life and why?

Perhaps I have a terribly flawed view on the holidays, but my fave ever holiday movie EVER is A Very Sunny Christmas – It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. After having several **very bad** holiday seasons in a row, years of badness and suckiness, that movie made me so happy and floaty that I was able to get through an especially super sucky depressing year all ~smiles~. All I had to do was think of that movie.

Describe your dream house, room by room.

I had to do a House-Tree-Person during my guidance and counseling master’s, and the teacher, who’d been testing people for 30 years, said he’d never seen anyone do actual house plans before. Basically, my house was the metaphorical gutted anatomy representation of my relationship with my mother. Most people with issues just do a lot of tile detailing on the roof, or lots of curly smoke coming out of the chimney, a cat in the window, all kinds of little details that indicate you’re not sharing something that’s bothering you. Me, I’m all splat, I will share EVERYTHING, I don’t care who sees it or knows it, and I don’t care how anyone feels about it. My dad has asked me to respect my mom (she died 3 years ago), and as long as he lives, I will respect my dad on that. But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t share a few things in a book. You don’t get your brain really twisted growing up for nothing.

Imagine you are attending your dream concert—what songs would you want to be played? What does the stage look like?

My dream concert is me alone, and an empty stage. I like music, I like the CDs I’ve got, I even like some of the people I listen to on them, but having to sit there in public surrounded by bodies and no way to escape the noise pulverizing my eardrums and the smells raking through my head and the lights stabbing into my brain is about as hell as it gets for me. #autistic I’ve tried going to concerts, I’ve worn earplugs and sunglasses in theaters, I’ve been medicated out of my mind to get through stuff, and I just can’t do it anymore. My nervous system is like a cat on a car battery.

If you could learn any new language, which one would you choose and why?

I have never missed an episode of Ice Loves Coco. They are my favorite power couple. And I LOVE Ice’s book.

What are a few qualities you dislike in other people, and why?

I love self made people. I’ve noticed that the celebs I’m most drawn to are the ones who have completely reinvented the way something is done, or completely created themselves against mainstream media. I’m not crazy about whiners. I know, I’m a pro, but seriously, would you be here if I were just whining about the same thing over and over about what qualities I dislike in other people? It’s more fun to think about what I *like*.

What music makes you want to get up and dance? Why don’t you?

God help us all when I start chair dancing. Or car dancing. And I think I mentioned smashing my ankle last week dancing around.

How would you spend your time if you were wealthy?
I’d probably still take pictures of leaves. I can’t help it, I think random symmetry is beautiful. I have been in love with leaves and all the patterns they make blowing around in the wind since I was a baby.

What is one of your most personal hopes and dreams?
I’ve had to really think about this one. And it’s really hard to share with words. I ache to be part of everything, like the bones of the earth, the expanse of space, the endless dichotomies of water, the energy and movement of everything really fast and really slow, because it feels really weird to me to be localized into this one tiny being. I’ve never understood this feeling, and I can only chalk it up to being one of the wacked out synesthesia things I have to deal with. When friends think I want to meet celebrities or be ‘someone’ myself, they have no idea what is really in my head. I’m a people watcher ~because~ of the asperger’s. I love the uniqueness each person has. But deep in my soul, it’s like I can feel that the earth I’m on is just one tiny molecule in a very big swirl of being and time, and that is part of even bigger stuff, and I want to know ALL of it.

How do others see you?
I can’t even imagine. I’ve given up trying to understand Scott’s family, my own family mystifies me because I’m on a different planet than they are, friends have to keep their distance to survive me, famous people won’t touch me with a stick. On the other hand, haters, weirdos, gamers, scifi junkies, and for some reason sex addicts really seem to love me. Probably because I don’t demand anyone’s affection and I love you all back as long as you don’t creep me out or expect me to be your friend, because I suck at being friends, which I think I’ve already covered in a previous question. This is about the best video I’ve ever seen for me and Scott.

Kinda wrestling with a youtube update and iframes, which don’t always want to play 3rd party on my blogs, but I know the old embed code doesn’t always play across new devices, either. I can jimmie all this back into old code and all the tubes will play great on a desktop and sometimes nothing else, or I can leave these as is and you can click directly to youtube if they won’t play on this blog, but at least it’s sharable across new devices. I’ll be very happy one day when they get all the interfacing and sharing ironed out. I think the big hangup is how to keep it monetized, and I keep finding ways around it with code, and I need to just stop that. Time to go forward into the future with the rest of the robots. :edit: 6-3-14 I think Xanga is catching up with their migration code integration for the new editor, yay!

What would you do if you had all the money in the world?

How many questions does this survey have??? Every time I open this back up I find whole groups of questions I’ve missed. Let’s see, money, this is a dumb question, isn’t it? I mean, I guess I’m taking it too literally, so let’s just pare it down a bit. What would I do if I had money to blow, how’s that? Crank up my tech, pay off my family’s bills, maybe get a Lamborghini. What I’d really like is a personal assistant, but every which way I think about that, I can’t see me tolerating having one for very long. Maybe a gofer. I think I could handle that.

Complete this sentence: Love is…

~Today~, love is all about getting some Christmas boxes pulled together full of homemade goodies to send in the mail later this week. These are pfeffernusse through a cookie press.

What are you most grateful for?

Very seriously, youtube. Youtube has been there for me through so much stuff. Finding other fans around the world who like the same things I like and do such creative and inspiring stuff beats just about any other media experience I’ve ever had.

Why is your best friend your best friend?

Not a lot of people tolerate me. Scott has never left me. I don’t care what sucks or how stupid it gets, he has never walked away, and you have to really admire a person who cares enough to stick around like that. I could never hope to find a better best friend.

What is a place that inspires you?

Oops, I left a pan on. Glad I caught that. One of my biggest fears is burning the house down. Funny how I’ve never thought to put that into a survey, and it’s not even the right question now. Let’s see, inspiring place… Isn’t this stunning? Dang, I need to remember to put that on pinterest.

What is the best decision you have ever made in your life?

Can I be honest? I’ve had to go back on pain pills the last couple of weeks like I haven’t done in a long time, and I’m kind of floating through this whole survey. Anybody else on pain pills through the holidays? Makes it special, right? Hey, want a random impromptu interview? People look so different on skype. Several people have asked me this year if I skype, guess I need to learn how.

Will You Impress A Person By Fighting Someone to get them to Like You?

Wo, now we’re capitalizing everything in the questions. This survey creator’s head is all over the map. Super curious if there is some kind of psychological reason for all this style switching, because I got the survey off a site that forces you to sit there plugging questions in, you can’t just paste a batch over. So whoever made this survey must have sat there for HOURS, and maybe got up and did stuff. Maybe more than one person is hanging out and they’re taking turns. Maybe it’s a slumber party or a dorm room, or maybe the survey creator is middle aged and has divergent personalities. Whatever. Here I am totally being distracted again. True story. This woman showed up on my doorstep some years ago, a fan (it’s so weird that I have fans), and she hung out for a few days because I didn’t know what else to do about it. So I took her with me to the video store one day, and she got all excited, hoping I’d get into a fight with the video store clerk, and I’m all like whaaaa? She tried to egg me on and everything. I was so confused, had no idea what was going on or why she was all excited and stuff. Found out later she’d forgotten her blood pressure pills. I am ~so glad~ she didn’t have a medical emergency in my house. I think all wired up ‘fight’ issues are like that, whether they’re rage or just plain wound up entertainment buzz. When your body is wound up, your mind gets wound up. When your body has issues, your mind has issues. When I see people with rage problems or getting excited about someone wanting to throw down, I figure something’s wacked out in their chemicals. I can’t even imagine feeling gleeful or good about getting in someone else’s face. Anyway, then this woman went home and posted online all kinds of stuff about how I punched her and stuff, really ridiculous, and she just ate up all the attention she got. I just walked away. If she was that jealous of my internet friends that she had to go to such lengths to sabotage me and take my friends away from me, I don’t need friends that are stupid enough to fall for that kind of stuff. And this kind of stuff has happened several times in different fandoms I’ve hung out in. People love train wrecks. They love fights. They’d rather schmooze all over an instigator, so, go schmooze. If that’s your thing, that’s your thing. There are people out there still duking it out over David Lee or Sammy, and all I can say is, if that’s all you’ve got, your life must really suck.

Do You Have demons in your life?

I think they’re frustrated that I haven’t caved yet. I don’t suck up and beg for leniency when life sux, I just keep doing surveys.

Have You Ever Wanted To Be The Best Person In The World?

Being the best something is a LOT of work. Now, being the *only* something, that’s another story. I think I’m the only person on the internet right now doing an online Lexx marathon with hundreds of screen grabs, some that have never before been uploaded anywhere, especially on a public site. I never dreamed people would actually care, but there you go.

Have You Wanted to Steal the Show At School?

I can tell when some of you get impatient waiting for the next survey, it’s real cute how you keep clicking around. I get the warm fuzzies.

Are You Happy?

I’m still thinking about that which sense would I rather lose question. Ever since I lost my sense of smell off and on for a couple of years, I can’t tell you how awesome it is to be able to smell morning smells like coffee, bacon, and black pepper on my eggs.

Whatever holidays you are celebrating or avoiding, I do hope that you have the nicest holiday season possible for YOU. You deserve it. And if the world doesn’t end on the 21st, I hope 2013 is kind. If you actually read to the end of this, bless your heart.