Survive High School

My Mom Hides My Candy

2008-02-11T19:16:00.000-05:00

I eat way too much candy. I can't help it I guess I have a sweet tooth. I've never gained any weight from it to my knowledge, but I know it isn't healthy to put all those over processed chemicals into my body.

Sometimes my mom hides my candy from me. She says it isn't healthy for me to eat so much sugar. I know she is trying to help me, but I always become livid when she does this. I need to make the decision to not eat as much candy myself. I'm old enough to make my own decisions about what foods I eat and the rebellious part of me tells me to eat more candy because she does this.

This experience is making me understand what my dad goes through when we nag him about eating healthier. I remember him sometimes eating in the closet, because he didn't want us to nag him. He is overweight and we just want him to live longer. But nagging him isn't helping him. He needs to make the decision on his own.

Recently he started eating healthier and was inspired to lose weight, because my uncle died from clogged arteries. He needed something to remind him why it is important for him to do lose weight and than he made up his mind. We couldn't make the decision for him just like my mom can't make the decision for me to eat less candy. Maybe I need an incentive not to each as much candy. Hopefully not as drastic as a family member dieing, but maybe something like finding out candy actually causes pimples.

Have you ever had people nag you about doing something and try to force you do something? Does candy actually cause pimples?

I'm Too Scared To Drive

2008-02-09T19:53:00.001-05:00

I turn sixteen in a few months and I still don't have my permit. Most people my age get their permit the second they turn fifteen, but I've been putting it off. I'm worried I'll regret it when I'm older and wish I'd gotten my license earlier. But I just can't bring myself to get my permit for one reason: I don't want to be responsible for people's lives.

I'm worried that I'll hurt people I care about if I drive. Each time I'm behind the wheel and my friends are with me their lives are in my hands. My mom constantly tells me the story of her friend's daughter who got in a car crash as a teenager and is now a vegetble. In some ways that story is keeping me from driving. What if I were to kill my friend? I don't know if I would be able to live with that pain. Seeing my friend in a wheel chair or in a coma and knowing it was my fault is not something I want to live with.

All the other drivers around me are in danger when I drive. If I make a mistake I could kill an innocent person I never met. One mistake and their life could be over. I can't even think about death that was out of my control let alone one that I caused.

What if one night I made a mistake and had a drink before I got behind the wheel? I know someone who got drunk driving charges and it changed their life. They lost their job and put their marriage in turmoil. Thankfully, no one was injured. But someone easily could have. I'm scared that I'll make that mistake and have to live with for the rest of my life.

This is part of what is keeping me from driving. I don't want to be responsible for other people's lives. I don't want to have to live with the guilt of injuring someone else. Did you have this worry when you started driving? How did you get over it? Any tips or ideas? I know it is good to be aware, but not to the point where you are too fearful to drive.

Methods For Figuring Out If a Guy Is Romantically Interested

2008-02-06T19:39:00.000-05:00

Have you ever wondered if someone had a crush on you, but couldn't ask them to their face? This happens to me all the time. The most surefire way to find out is to flat out ask the person. However, I won't ever ask, because I don't want to take the chance of my heart getting broken. I prefer for the guy to make the first move. These are the methods I use to figure out whether or not he is interested.

He gets upset or jealous when you talk about other guys. The guy says things like, "He's not good for you." or "You deserve better." about every guy you say you are interested in. He might be romantically interested in you if he gets quiet when you talk about guys you think are hot if he is characteristically loud.
To experiment: When you are with him casually comment on how another guy is. Gauge his reaction. If he is unfazed he is either not into you or is hiding it. If he doesn't say anything it might be a sign he doesn't know what to say.

He finds any excuse to touch you. I don't mean sexually. It can be anything from examining a cut on your finger to his hands lingering when he passes you a pencil. He might just be a touchy feely person. So, this isn't a definite sign. Just pay attention to how much he touches people you are sure he isn't romantically inclined to and compare that to how he acts around you.

How does he maintain eye contact? This method will only be accurate if you compare how he maintains eye contact with other people. Compare how me maintains eye contact with other girls, because he just may not be comfortable around girls. If he shyly glances away a lot, but looks other girls in the eye than he is probably interested in you. If the two of you maintain an intense eye connection and when he talks to other girls it isn't usually that intense that that may be a sign.

As I said before none of these methods are surefire, but it can help gauge whether or not he interested in you. How do you tell if a guy or girl is interested in you? Do you use other methods? Did these methods work for you?

What To Do When The Pain Of Holding Things In Overwhelms You

2008-02-04T19:53:00.000-05:00

Sometimes when I'm bottling things up I feel like my body is going to burst from all the pressure. The pain can be from anything. Usually I feel this way, because I'm holding back tears or anger. These are my methods of calming and distracting myself.

Get some exercise. The endorphins make you feel better. I feel better when I'm moving, because I feel like I'm going somewhere instead of being stuck in a rut. It distracts me from my thoughts, because I'm focusing on what is happening physically. Some exercises are soothing, because they have a pattern. Two examples are rowing or yoga. You go through the same exercises over and over.

Listen to music. Its a relief to listen to music that echoes what you are feeling. It reminds me that I am not alone and others are going through this. When I feel like screaming I turn on music that screams, too. I'm not a fan of screamo music, but sometimes I can't scream in the place I'm in. Listening to screamo is the second best thing if you can't scream when you feel like it.

Tell someone how you are feeling. It is hard for me to tell someone when I'm in pain. Most people think I have the perfect life, because I never let anyone know when something is wrong. It's hard to trust people, but it is for the best. It lets you get everything you are feeling off your chest. It is better to share your pain with someone than alone.

Cry. Don't hold in the tears. If you are like me and won't cry in front of people unless you trust them than go in private and cry. Or cry with someone you trust. Someone who will cry with you or comfort you.

Don't continue doing stuff like nothing is wrong when you are upset. Your pain will only grow and you will probably do something you regret like lash out at someone you love.

Simultaneously Improve Your Vocabulary and Feed Starving People

2008-02-02T18:59:00.000-05:00

The other day I came upon a site called Free Rice. The objective is simple: Play a vocabulary game that helps end world hunger. For every question you answer correctly the site donates 20 grains of rice. When I came upon the site I thought it was a nice idea, but wasn't sure if it was a legitimate. However, after some researched I have learned that the non profit site donates all of the money it receives from advertisers to the United Nations' World Food Programme who use the money to feed starving people rice.

You may be wondering how this affects you. It is a nice cause, but I'm sure you are wondering whether it is worth investing your time in. The answer is yes. As a high school student I am constantly being pressured to improve my vocabulary level by my teachers and principals. My first instinct when some pressures me to do something is to do the opposite, but they actually have a point.

In high school we are constantly remind of the SAT. We need to get decent scores to get into the prestige colleges we are interested in. This site can improve your vocabulary, which will help you with on the critical reading portion. Wouldn't you rather play a game than read a SAT book?

Reading is inevitable in high school. In every subject you need to be able to read from physics to history. You will be able to read faster if you have a larger vocabulary, because your comprehension will be better. Also, you will have better test scores, because you will be able to understand all the words in the questions.

I encourage you to check out the site. To quote the site: "Improving your vocabulary can improve your life. It is a great investment in yourself.

A Thumbnail of January's Posts

2008-01-31T19:46:00.000-05:00

I decided to make a monthly archive, so you can easily skim through and read what you are interested in. In the archive I will give brief descriptions and links to each of the posts from the months. Also, at the end of the archive I will write about what has occurred during the blog in the month.

I Have Trust Issues- This was my first post on the blog and it was one where I really expressed all the emotions I've been feeling lately. Maybe you can relate to having trust issues due to betrayals. Or maybe it can help you understand why one of your friends has trouble with trust.

Fashion and I = Oil and Vinegar- This was my friend Isabel's first post who is no longer writing here. She goes into detail about how she feels uncomfortable wearing the latest fashions, because she doesn't believe she has the right body type to wear them. Everyone has something about their body they wish to change no matter how physically attractive they are.

My Mask of Serenity- Have you ever felt like you have a wall hiding your emotions? I feel this way every day when I'm at school. When I get home all my pent up emotions I ignored burst out of me. I know this isn't the right way to deal with my emotions, but I don't know any other way. Any ideas on how I could stop being this way or do you experience the same thing?

Exams- This is the final post by Isabel. She wrote about concerned about her grades, because there is a correlation between good grades and a good paying job. Have you ever felt the stress to get good grades?

Why Freshmen Shouldn't Date Upper Classmen- I'm always revolted when I find out there is a male upper classman and a female freshman going out. I feel pity for the freshman, because she is inevitably going to get her heart broken. The two of them are on two completely different levels and it just isn't fair to either of them.

Why Going Outside Your Comfort Zone Is Worthwhile- Whenever I go outside my comfort zone I am terrified. However, I go through with it, because I remind myself of these listed reasons. Whenever you feel nervous about going outside your comfort zone you can remind yourself why it is worth it.

Isabel Is No Longer a Writer For This Blog- I began this blog with two authors and now at the end of month I am the only one remaining. To have a blog you need passion and time. Isabel had neither of those. I also wrote some changes the blog would have. Have you ever parted ways with a business partner or blog contributor? Did things turn out the way it did for me and Isabel.

Three Reasons I'll Never Use Myspace Again- I was an avid Myspace user twice. Each time after deleting my accounts I promised myself to never use it again. I'm glad I kept my promise the second time. It hurts me to remember how I petty I was when I used Myspace. I had internet fights over that I posted in bulletins for the entire world to see. It was immature of me and I'm glad I'm no longer using it. An Unsuspecting Notebook linked to this post and expanded on it. Check out the post on their blog if you want a good companion article to this.

A Letter From A Child I've Never Met Is Making Me Appreciate Life- One day I got home and received a letter. This letter was from a girl I sponsor that I’ve never met or even wrote to once. She drew me a picture and took the time out of her day to write to me with love and kindness. Her selflessness made me realize how much I could learn from an elementary school student who doesn't even speak the same language as me.

I can't believe this blog was created less than a month ago! This blog has gone through so many changes. I began this blog with two authors, but now there is only one left. I began this blog on wordpress.com, but decided to move it to blogger. I did this, because wordpress wouldn't allow me to utilize entrecard. The blog has gone through numerous changes, but as the month comes to a close I am content with the posts and the blog in general.

I wrote about some changes in the post talking about why Isabel is leaving. However, I have one more I want to add. I want to get my own domain name. This goal doesn't have a time limit, but eventually I want to reach this goal. I want to recoup the costs of my blog, so I need some advice. Should I go for it now and take a loss, or wait until I'll be able recoup the costs?

A Letter From A Child I've Never Met Is Making Me Appreciate Life

2008-01-29T19:58:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I received a letter that made my day. It was from the impoverished child in Thailand who I had chosen to sponsor. When I first began sponsoring her I was supposed to write a letter introducing myself. Sadly, I never got around to it.

Yesterday I was really sore from crew and all I could think about was taking a nice long shower and going on the computer. When I opened the letter the first thing I saw was a hand drawn picture. I felt a sense of awe as a gazed at the picture of three girls colored in crayons. I just couldn't get over the fact that someone had taken time out of their day to draw a picture for me. Someone they never met. Someone who hadn't taken the time to even write to them.

I realized how consumed I had become in my own personal issues. All I was able to see was high school and my after school activities. I realized how much I took for granted: my computer, the mall, cars, ect. I had so much and yet I didn't even fully appreciate it. I have a feeling this child doesn't even know what a computer is let alone a blog.

This elementary student reminded me what a magnificent thing love is and that we don't need all these material items to be happy. She was ecstatic that I had chosen to sponsor her. But as I read the letter I felt was the lucky one. This fourth grader could teach me so much about life.

If you are interested in also sponsoring a child please go to the Compassion website. You can choose from a variety of children and it may change your life. Helping someone is the best feeling in world. Even if you can't sponsor a child than try to go out of your way today to help someone. You won't regret it.

Three Reasons I'll Never Use Myspace Again

2008-01-27T14:58:00.000-05:00

Myspace has become a fad for High Schoolers. A number of my friends tell me I should get a Myspace. But every time I refuse. I've gotten a Myspace twice and each time I’ve deleted it later on. The first time I deleted it and promised myself to never get one again. The second time I was lured into getting it again by one of my friends even though internally I knew it would be a mistake. I decided to make this post, so if I ever feel tempted to make a Myspace again I'll remind myself of these reasons NOT to get a Myspace.

1. It’s a superficial popularity contest. I remember being amazed at how many friends people had on their Myspaces when I first started. 2000 friends? That was an incredible number to me. However, soon after I realized that majority of those “friends” were people they didn't even know. They were just adding random people to boost their friend count. One of my friends had a rather coveted number, but she couldn't even fill up her top eight with legitimate close friends. Most of the teenagers on Myspace want to prove to everyone how popular they are and it is way to prove how popular they are. Shouldn't they be confident in themselves instead of letting a number prove it?

The people on Myspace are so obsessed with the number of comments and friends that they have that many of them beg for them. I remember reading so many bulletins that were begging people to comment their pictures or their general site. In return they promised to comment them back. I can't understand why it is so important. They are just numbers.

2. You can quickly become obsessed with it. "I check my Myspace twenty times a day." This was the answer I got when I asked one of my friends how often she went on her Myspace. At first I couldn't understand how she could waste so much time on it, but then I remembered I used to be the same way. I used to waste so many hours of my life checking my Myspace. But the worst part is that I let it control my emotions.

If I got new comments or friend request I felt special and happy. But if I didn't get any new comments or friend requests I would feel sad. I was letting a number control my happiness. It seems silly to me now, but then it was so important. And I'm not the only one who feels this way. Many people who use Myspace let it control their happiness, yet they continue to use it.

3. It can hurt friendships. Myspace has ended so many friendships. It's just so much easier to be a jerk when you don't have to say something to someone's face. One time I got into a fight with some ex-friends over the internet. All of us forwarded the arguments to people and posted some of the messages in bulletins. Thinking back I wonder how I could have been so petty. A fight should be done in person and shouldn't include outside people. It should be private and name calling should be excluded.

Another example of how friendships can be hurt through Myspace is your "top friends". I remember this girl telling me that her best friend "hated her", because she moved her down a few places on her top eight. Honestly, that is one of the stupidest things I've ever heard.

The bottom line: There are some positives about Myspace like staying touch with friends or family. However, I feel that the negative outweighs the positive. Do you think Myspace is worthwhile, or do you agree with me that it just isn't worth it?

Isabel Is No Longer a Writer For This Blog

2008-01-25T19:07:00.000-05:00

I came to the conclusion that it would be best if I was the sole writer of Survive High School. I had been pondering the issue for awhile, but finally made the decision while I was in class today. We weren't doing much today, so I took out a piece of paper and began to write her a letter. I wasn't planning on sending her the letter, but felt it would be best to figure out my feelings before I confronted her. Writing has always been the best way for me to express my feelings. When I speak sometimes my words get taken wrong.

The two main issues in the letter were lack of time and passion. I completely understand that she doesn't have much time due to her hectic extracurriculars and demanding schoolwork. Her lack of passion for the project really hit home for me when she told me she'd type up a post she was late like it was an afterthought.

I had worried from the beginning that Isabel was being part of the blog, because she thought she was doing me a favor. It turned out to be true. There isn't anything wrong with not being passionate something. It is just her personal preference, so I wouldn't judge her for that. If Isabel really didn't want to post for me than she was being selfless. But it actually doesn't benefit me, her, or the readers.

It isn't fair to the readers, because they are spending their time reading posts that are halfheartedly written. It hurts her, because she is doing something she doesn't love. And it doesn't benefit me, because I want this site to thrive and I want her to do things only if she loves to. In the end her no longer contributing to the blog is for the best and most importantly the confrontation didn't hurt our friendship.

I know you are curious about what will be changing about the site, so here it is:

I am going to be the only writer/owner of the blog and I will not be finding a replacement for Jessie.
The posting frequency will change to once every two days. I'm doing this, so my posts won't be rushed and will be better quality.
I need to come up with a new tagline, so any ideas will be beneficial. Before it was "two high school girls sharing everything". Before that it was "two girls surviving high school and sharing everything."
New entrecard 125 x 125 image.

Have you ever parted ways with a business partner or blog contributor? Was it mutual or was did it turn ugly? And any ideas for a new tagline?

Why Going Outside Your Comfort Zone Is Worthwhile

2008-01-22T21:30:00.000-05:00

Pushing yourself to do things outside of your comfort zone is the difference between watching from the sidelines and trying something yourself. Whenever I feel the anxiety flow through me when I am about to try something outside my comfort zone I remind myself the reasons why it is worthwhile. These are the reasons:

You can make new friends who you wouldn't have met otherwise. Some of the people I met through sports I was almost too scared to audition for ended up being my close friends. These people ended up having similar interests as me, but we didn't have a place to meet where we all shared a common interest. You couldn't meet them before, because they were in places outside your comfort zone.

You can find something you are passionate about that you would have never discovered. When I am on the water at crew practice it feels as if all my emotions wash away. All that is left is calming motions and the beautiful scenery. If I hadn't gone out of my comfort zone and tried it I never would have been able to feel this way.

Your passion could turn into your dream career. That one time you went out of your comfort zone and found your passion could lead to a career. If I had never gone out of my comfort zone and tried out for crew I couldn't feel that passion for crew. I would have never considered crew as a career. Even though I'm not seriously considering it is still as an option because I have tried it. Because you have tried something you have an option to use it as a career.

You may make a mistake while going outside your comfort zone. Most people wouldn't consider this as positive, but I do. Whenever I make a mistake I learn never to make the same mistake. If you had never gone outside of your comfort zone you would have never learned what works and what doesn't. You would still be in the dark about the issue. You are more likely to hone onto the mistake while outside your comfort zone, because you feel self conscious and nervous. You will pick up on it and not make it again. The important part is to not beat yourself up over the mistake and think of it as a mistake that will be prevented in the future.

Remember: A turtle can't move until it sticks its head out. In other words you can't move forward or backward until you go outside your comfort zone.

Why Freshmen Girls Shouldn't Date Upper Classmen

2008-01-20T14:44:00.000-05:00

Before getting into a relationship with an upper classmen guy while you are a freshmen you should reconsider. You are just going to get hurt and ruin your social standings. I guarantee each of the things will be true if you date an upper class man.

He won't admit to his friends you are dating. His friends will tease him and tell him he is desperate to get some action. In high school dating someone older is always seen as "cool". Dating someone younger is just an embarrassment and an act of desperation to get some easy sex. A senior friend of mine was dating a freshman girl and when he was asked by some of his friends about it he denied the relationship. Whenever, he was around the freshman in public he refused to acknowledge her as his girlfriend. His friends would call her "the whore" and he wouldn't stand up for her, because she didn't mean anything to him.

Your journey into high school is just beginning while his is ending. As a Junior or Senior he is getting ready for college in the real world. In a few years he will be leaving and if you stay together that long (not likely) he will break your heart. As a freshman you are just getting used to high school and a bit awkward about it. He has been there for three or four years and can't wait to get out of there. You are on two completely different levels.

He will expect you to go farther sexually. Most likely he had a relationship before and has had sex. He will expect you to do it with him, because "all his other girlfriends have." You are excited about having a senior boyfriend so you give into his desires, because you don't want to lose him. You don't realize the only reason he is going out with you is for sex. And soon he will probably get bored of you and move on. On top of that you will be labeled as a whore and easy.

The Bottomline: Date a fellow freshman. It's not worth the pain you will experience.

Exams

2008-01-18T10:27:00.001-05:00

Ugh, don't we all hate them.

Well, they're all over for me, and they weren't all that bad :] They even helped one of my grades!

Yes, I'm one of those overachieving students who cares very much about my grades, and sometimes it seems like all I care about. I sometimes need to sit back and relax, and not waste my whole high school career worrying so much.

Sometimes I wonder, what's the point of trying so hard? We go to school, only to prepare us for a job, and pay bills. This is when I realize the importance of being involved, just having fun sometimes. Being involved in something we love, being with friends, etc. I don't care for parties, and usually all it takes to make me happy is sitting in the bookstore on my Friday nights.

I'm so concerned about my grades because, wouldn't it be nice to get a very well paying job, so that bills wouldn't be such an issue? It'd be great to be able to buy such nice things for myself, and my kids (when and if I have them), of course not to the point where we're spoiled. I want to be educated, and think that expenses are no big thing, while appreciating the value of money.

Besides, good grades will only help you, no matter what.

My advice: You have to go to school anyways, do the stuff while you're there and don't waste your time. It can only benefit you.

My Mask Of Serenity

2008-01-17T12:03:00.000-05:00

You may be wondering from the title what exactly a mask of serenity is. The second I step onto the school campus after avoiding getting run over by cars an internal mask comes over me. When I have it on nothing can hurt me or upset, but I can’t really feel any emotions. I act happy, but inside I feel a bit numb. I can feel happiness and can get a bit upset, but anxiety doesn’t overwhelm me and I can’t feel tear inducing pain.

All day I hold in all my emotions. I only show happiness or if I don't feel happy I don't show any emotions except to my closest friends. My happy side of me is more content than overly cheerful. Sometimes I fear that if I let them see the part of me in pain they’ll treat me different and it’s hard for me to trust them with my feelings. It’s just easier to stay numb. My emotions whack against a wall inside of me, but I just ignore them. I put them off for later and never show a sign of how I am internally feeling.

It is helpful in some ways. I don’t burden my friends with my problems and I don’t make any public fights. I never fight in public… I don’t really express anything in public. It is in private that I have my fights with my friends and really express how I feel.

When I get home sometimes I just collapse on my bed and sob. I hold all my pains and emotions and I feel like I am about to explode. When I get off the bus I feel like sprinting to my house. The relief I feel when I am all alone and am finally able to be myself if is indescribable. I wish I could just let go of my mask, because when I get home the pain wouldn’t be so built up. Maybe when I am with friends in private I wouldn’t snap at them, because everything hasn’t been pent
up.

But how can I let go of my mask? How can I let my guard down? I don’t know how to, but at least I’ve decided I want to. And at least admitted it, because now I don’t have to bear it alone.

Fashion and I = Oil and Vinegar

2008-01-16T15:06:00.000-05:00

As you can probably tell by the title, I have no fashion sense whatsoever. Our school pretty much thrives on fashion & appearances, & I personally think they care way too much about it. It’s not that I don’t like fashion, it’s just that if I look at something & like it, it could be hideous to everyone else. I just never grew up with that sense, & I’ve come to realize it in about the 9th grade. I usually never paid attention to how everyone dressed. But it’s like you have to keep up with the fashion or fall behind.

I’ve noticed that once you hit high school, everyone has their personal looks that goes along with what kind of person they are. I’m still trying to find out what kind of person I am as many others are & I’ve settled on “multiple personalities disorder” for now. ;]

Anyway, at times I decide to just stop trying so hard to at least look a little bit presentable, with a normal outfit & whatnot. I’ve decided to not try to develop a sense of style, but just to dress like, whatever. I try to be comfortable, because that’s what I feel happy in. I have much better days in things that look bum-ish than days when I dress all up & feel totally uncomfortable. So screw fashion! (sorry Selene!)

Psh, I don’t need fashion, I’m cool enough to make up for it ;] (Not cocky, promise)
–Is

I Have Trust Issues

2008-01-15T21:14:00.000-05:00

Trust is a major issue with me. Everyone tells me their secrets and I give them my full attention. Some of them even call me Dr. Phil, because I always tell give them advice. I always keep their secrets, but not everyone keeps my secrets and that is the reason I have trust problems.

I used to trust everyone without a singly doubt in my mind. I would trust people until they hurt me so badly that I couldn’t trust them any longer. But so many betrayed my trust and each time it surprised me, because I tried to expect the best in people. The last time someone completely went behind my back and told my secrets my trust issues began.

My trust issues became apparent when Isabel became friends with Katie (the person who started my trust issues). Isabel has been my friend forever, but she didn’t really understand the extent of what happened. I couldn’t talk about it, because it was too painful. Isabel didn’t know what happened, but she knew it had deeply upset me.

When I found out Isabel had begun to hang out with Katie I felt as if Isabel had betrayed me. Maybe she didn’t know the details of what happened, but I felt as if she shouldn’t have to. I had assumed that my pain should have been enough for her and she should be on my side. A belief of mine is whether my friends are right or wrong I will stay loyal to them.

After that I had trouble trusting Isabel with my secrets. I presumed if Isabel would betray me by being friends with Katie than she could betray my secrets. I became more guarded around her and people in general. My friends would go on about themselves and whenever they asked about me I would steer the conversation back to them. They would say what a wonderful conversation we had, because we had talked about them the entire time. I would shift it so discrettly usually they wouldn’t even realize we hadn’t talked about me.

I’ve come to realize that life is too short to hide everything. Sometimes you just have to live and if you get hurt than you learned a lesson. I trust Isabel again, but sometimes it is still is hard for me to trust other people. I look at it in a different view. Before I assumed that my friends wouldn’t hurt me until they proved it to me. Now, I don’t fully trust them until they prove it to me.