Surviving Depression :: Grassroots Strategies

WLOLL Trailers

jannie.jan@gmail.com (http://depressionstragegies.blogspot.com) — Sun, 17 Aug 2008 10:43:00 +0000

HERE.

Putting it all together as production sound mixer and film maker over at Faux Press TV.

Tags: Self-Help Art Depression

Art Up

jannie.jan@gmail.com (http://depressionstragegies.blogspot.com) — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 12:06:00 +0000

.:. Survivor .:.

In for the ride. - Taken at 8:40 AM on July 19, 2008 - cameraphone upload by ShoZu

Formats available: MPEG4 Video (.mp4), MPEG-4 Video (.m4v), Flash Video (.flv)

Psychiatry :: Drugs :: Conflict of Interest or Bias?

jannie.jan@gmail.com (http://depressionstragegies.blogspot.com) — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 11:32:00 +0000

Ask your doctor above their fiscal relationships with the manufacturers of the drugs they prescribe.

clipped from www.nytimes.com

“I have come to understand that money from the pharmaceutical industry can shape the practices of nonprofit organizations that purport to be independent in their viewpoints and actions,” Mr. Grassley said Thursday in a letter to the association.
In 2006, the latest year for which numbers are available, the drug industry accounted for about 30 percent of the association’s $62.5 million in financing.

“I think we need to review all arrangements between doctors and industry and be very clear about what constitutes a conflict of interest and what does not.”

But many psychiatrists supplement this income with consulting arrangements with drug makers, traveling the country to give dinner talks about drugs to other doctors for fees generally ranging from $750 to $3,500 per event, for instance.

Others say industry and academic researchers are now so deeply intertwined that exposing doctors’ private arrangements only stokes suspicion without correcting the real problem: bias.

"Wristcutters: a Love Story:

jannie.jan@gmail.com (http://depressionstragegies.blogspot.com) — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 15:23:00 +0000

Play Quicktime Version

Watched "Wristcutters: a Love Story" over the weekend.

An interesting take on suicide and on love.

Glad to see it 'out of the closet'. Every little bit helps.

I recommend it, unless you're feeling fragile.

Rated R.

[source]

Tags: Self-Help Suicide Depression

New York Breakfast

jannie.jan@gmail.com (http://depressionstragegies.blogspot.com) — Sat, 28 Jun 2008 18:25:00 +0000

New York Breakfast
Originally uploaded by Jannie-Jan

Positive nutritional reinforcement.

211 Words That go Without Saying :: Welding Vows from The World's Longest Open Love Letter

jannie.jan@gmail.com (http://depressionstragegies.blogspot.com) — Sat, 28 Jun 2008 18:15:00 +0000

.:. Survivor .:.

A poem for wedding - er, 'welding' - vows.

NOT WORK-SAFE!!!

Formats available: Unknown file type

Tags: wedding vows, welding vows, poem, poetry, wloll, wedding parade

Claiming my Veoh Channel

jannie.jan@gmail.com (http://depressionstragegies.blogspot.com) — Sat, 28 Jun 2008 14:54:00 +0000

My Veoh Show will allow me to have a first class flash player in which to show the vlog entries one after another.

Tags: Self-Help Art Depression

On Depression, Hope, Recovery, Psychology & Antidepressants

jannie.jan@gmail.com (http://depressionstragegies.blogspot.com) — Sat, 28 Jun 2008 11:54:00 +0000

.:. Survivor .:.

Be My Friend - http://www.myspace.com/psychtruth On Depression, Hope, Recovery, Psychology & Antidepressants Dr. John Breeding, Ph.D. Psychologist discusses how to help people with mental health problems and psychological issues w/out buying into the biological psychiatry approach that a person has an incurable mental illness or mental disorder. Coalition for the Abolition of Electroshock in Texas http://www.endofshock.com/ This video was edited by Psychetruth. http://www.youtube.com/psychetruth http://www.myspace.com/psychtruth PsycheTruth is empowered by TubeMogul http://www.tubemogul.com Copyright 2008 CAEST. All Rights Reserved. This video may be displayed in public, copied and redistributed for any strictly non-commercial use in its entire unedited form. Alteration or commercial use is strictly prohibited.

Formats available: Microsoft Video (.avi), Flash Video (.flv)

Tags: depression, hope, recovery, psychology, antidepressants, mental, health, psychiatry, illness, disorder, help, electroshock

Feeders for Human Birds :: a page from The World's Longest Open Love Letter

jannie.jan@gmail.com (http://depressionstragegies.blogspot.com) — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 10:50:00 +0000

.:. Survivor .:.

In preparation for the Faux Parade. With Cosmic Ray.

Part of a very long meditation on the nature of love.

One of the things I love about making art in the physical world (as opposed to the digital realm) is that is creates an 'open space' in my brain for listening to what my body and soul already know.

A wise friend once told me that, "You already know all the answers. Just listen."

Making art is an indirect way to open your ears.

It also helps me breathe.

G'head.

Make a drawing right now.

A 30-second self-portrait. Even if you just draw it in the air or sand.

Pay attention to your breath as you do this.

Cool.

Formats available: MPEG1 Video (.mpg), Flash Video (.flv)

Tags: faux_press, human birds, cosmic ray, wloll, worlds longest open love letter

K.M Bihr :: Fine Art

jannie.jan@gmail.com (http://depressionstragegies.blogspot.com) — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 17:26:00 +0000

.:. Survivor .:.

Paintings, wall sculpture, drawings.

This was a gift to my colleague Katie.

Because I can.

Because it's something she needs and will use.

Sweet.

Because part of healing is giving back.

Having - as part of my own healing journey - honored my gifts, I learn that gifts must be used lest they atrophy.

Formats available: Quicktime (.mov), Flash Video (.flv), MPEG-4 Video (.m4v)

My Story

jannie.jan@gmail.com (http://depressionstragegies.blogspot.com) — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 13:08:00 +0000

http://del.icio.us/love_detective/depression

That you've found this site at all tells me you have begun to research ways and means of recovering from / living with mental illness.

My particular place in this disease is chronic depression as a result of childhood sexual abuse.

This is the first time I've attempted to list of all the ways in which the abuse and my reaction to it has impacted my life.

With as much honesty as I can muster, my long-term symptoms include:

long periods of isolation
long periods of not eating
periodic suicidal ideation
self-harm - I pick the skin around my fingernails until it bleeds. When I was but a wee girl, I used to wash between my legs with a stiff brush until I bled.
inability to form long-lasting, intimate relationships
sexual acting out
agoraphobia
alcoholism
I hate my body
I am an artist
trust is difficult if not impossible
control freak
sex is sooooooooo complicated
rage
numbness
withdrawal
extreme introvert

Yeah.

I've always been a kind of 'wild thing' - preferring life in the woods to a house or apartment. Even now, I am an urban camper.

I'm comfortable for months at a time with no human contact. What - exactly - is wrong with that.

Folks know I love them. I leave them no doubt.

The job I've settled on fits well with my mercurial personality. Very busy to very still. A collection of perfect extremes.

I work on film and television sets and get the production sound.

One month, I'm ass-to-toenails with a hundred other folks in very cramped spaces.

The next, I'm alone, making art.

Suits me just fine.

The creeping agoraphobia is ameliorated by taking road trips and making media.

I'm very happy with my life as I practice being a better daughter, sister, friend.

I learn to eat well.

This documentary is one of the most difficult things I've ever done.

More difficult even than the thing itself.

But this thing - this documentary - at the end of the day - brings me joy. That's the difference.

Tags: Self-Help Art Depression

Mainstreaming Mental Illness :: Advocacy :: Discrimination :: Stigma

jannie.jan@gmail.com (http://depressionstragegies.blogspot.com) — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 11:41:00 +0000

The Infinite Mind radio show - hosted by Dr. Peter Kramer - gathered a group of mental health professionals, consumers and activists whose thoughts collected here together speak eloquently to the state of the art of mental illness.

From the show notes:

Right now in the United States, tens of millions of Americans live as part of a minority group that is routinely denied jobs, housing and basic human rights. This group has no widely recognized leaders, no Martin Luther King, Susan B. Anthony or Cesar Chavez. For the 44 million Americans living with mental illness, change is coming through the efforts of unsung heroes and revolutionary, grass-roots approaches to transformation.

This segment explores the discrimination and stigma about mental illness that continues to marginalize people with mental illness and thwart making the best medical practices actual policy. They describe people with mental illness as a minority group that has yet to achieve its rights, comparing the struggle to the civil and human rights movements.

Mental health consumers. Employment opportunities not despite but because of mental illness. Mental illness and the law: self-determination with Psychiatric Advance Directives, a kind of 'living will'. Dignity. Empowerment. Peer support. Peer counseling. Lobbying government. A brief history of the grassroots movement for treatment change. Access to services. There remains states in which the mentally ill are not permitted to vote. Mental Illness = Physical Illness.

Hear for the first time in this radio broadcast about The Campaign for Mental Health Reform:

The Campaign for Mental Health Reform has been organized as the mental health community’s united voice on federal policy. Its goal is to make access, recovery, coherence, and quality in mental health services the hallmarks of our nation’s mental health system. It works directly with federal policymakers to make this a reality.

Enclosed for distribution to subscribers is the four-page .pdf of the Executive Summary, "Emergency Response: A Roadmap for Federal Action on America’s Mental Health Crisis". The action items are of special note, an easy browse to get a sense of where they want to go with this.

This collection of people have a lot to say about the cutting edge of living with mental illness.

Including this post in the 'Bibliography' category (see sidebar, right) since the radio show and .pdf constitute a collection of names and ideas for interviews and cogitation to which I shall return again and again.

[source]
[listen to the show in Real Player]
[Download the .PDF - Emergency Response: A Roadmap for Federal Action on America’s Mental Health Crisis]

Tags: Self-Help Art Depression

Tip :: Keep a Sense of Humor

jannie.jan@gmail.com (http://depressionstragegies.blogspot.com) — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 13:37:00 +0000

Okay. Laughing helps.

Yes, it does.

Tags: Self-Help Art Depression

Coming Out as Survivor

jannie.jan@gmail.com (http://depressionstragegies.blogspot.com) — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 10:53:00 +0000

Lawrence Lessig is a human being I admire; a person with whom I should one day like to have lunch; a thinker, lawyer, lecturer, activist, author and teacher @ Stanford

Legally and philosophically he presses his mind against the important issues of the day, among them Intellectual Property and the U.S. Congress.

And now I learn he's also one of us.

In the context of this videoblog, Lessig is introduced to you as a survivor of childhood sexual abuse who's come out of the closet. Bigtime.

At the time of the NY Magazine article (2005), Lessig's family didn't know.

At the time of the NY Magazine article, New Jersey charities were immune from lawsuits. Thanks to Lessig, not any more.

[NY Magazine article]
[Source - Lessig's Blog]
[New Jersey Enacts bill S540/A2512 into Law]

Tags: Self-Help Art Depression

New York Breakfast :: Twitter :: Strategies for Nourishment

jannie.jan@gmail.com (http://depressionstragegies.blogspot.com) — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 12:02:00 +0000

New York Breakfast
Originally uploaded by Jannie-Jan

Positive reinforcement to eat well :: make media.

Documenting and sharing the process of being good to myself by means of sustenance helps me feel less isolated.

What do YOU do to counteract isolation?

What do YOU do to help yourself eat?

My reward is art & the hope that this sharing inspires someone else in the moment who might not otherwise eat a good meal.

When folks post what they're having to eat on Twitter I'm reminded that food must be taken.

Documenting a healing strategy that works for me.

A strategy made possible by 0's and 1's and ubiquitous media making tools and communications software.

I need the reinforcement in the moment - not in four hours when I'm famished & too depleted to cook - and manage in this way to get it.

Twitter reminds me to eat.

Documenting the process and inspiring others to be good to themselves are the rewards.

Self-Harm Bibliography from the British Journal of Psychiatry - 2004

jannie.jan@gmail.com (http://depressionstragegies.blogspot.com) — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 12:50:00 +0000

As late as 2004, British Journal of Psychiatry writer Anthony W. Bateman said this:

The grim truth is that there is no successful treatment for deliberate self-harm (Hawton et al, 2003), although much of the self-help literature urges patients to seek help from professionals.

Perhaps things have changed since 2004. I'm checking it out and will let you know.

What really got to me was another statement by Bateman from the enclosed .pdf:

In the era of user empowerment, people who deliberately harm themselves are a vociferous group who feel let down by professionals.

Yes. Yes, I do feel let down by professionals. In all aspects of recovery and healing. And that disappointment is in part what motivates me to create this documentary.

[download .pdf bibliography]

Tags: Self-Help Self-Harm Depression

Documentary Media Ripples :: Response

jannie.jan@gmail.com (http://depressionstragegies.blogspot.com) — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 11:12:00 +0000

New Seesmic pal Karen responded to THIS video posted to Seesmic via YouTube.

I respond to Karen as above.

I continue to learn how to listen.

In researching "The World's Longest Open Love Letter" documentary I've occasion to search YouTube for folks who speak to mental health issues. Watching these profound stories brought me way down. In the parlance of survivor circles, it's known as 'triggering'.

Rather than fight it, I allowed the spiral to unfold in its way, but with an attempt at keeping my extreme artists eyes, ears and heart open so as to be able to later relate the experience. It inevitably takes longer to process this information than I expect.

Input & consequence.

I've also had occasion to gather a month or two of feedback from colleagues to whom I 'came out' of the depression closet very early on in our social network relationships. Specifically, a 'control group' at Seesmic.

In the midst of the bottom of the spiral down, I posted this entry, a longer-term project illustrating my fascination and irritation with television and film writers for having their characters say, "Are you okay?" sometimes many times per episode.

When I posted it, one of my dear new Seesmic friends - Otir - wrote me comment expressing the hope that i was indeed "Okay."

Otir said...

I hope you're Okay. I know that you are going to be fine. But if you don't feel it, I want you to know that others feel it for you and trust you will. Love.

I loved the mashup. I am so impressed at all the creativity that is there. I am jealous. Yes I am. But I am going to be okay with it :-)

My feeling - having come out - is that anything I do in their eyes is first colored by the knowledge that one of my dearest, oldest - if least respected - friends is chronic depression. Is that a good thing? Maybe. Maybe the support helps rather than hurts. In the middle of the beast, it hurts.

Pain is a red flag indicative of something that requires conscious attention, and is in its own way, another old friend whom I know too well.

Yes. Otir's words of encouragement helped, thought it took some time to get to that place where I could let her loving spirit into my heart. At first, her kind words filled me with dread.

I'm unaccustomed to allowing a support system into the process. Unaccustomed to being 'seen' in this way.

In being seen, I feel vulnerable.

Invisibility was the OLD strategy; being SEEN, the new.

My biggest fear is that friendships and career will be ruined as a result of going public. My online research indicates others go public about craploads of mental health issues in droves. What I see is gutsy stuff. Full of courage, hope and technique.

It's my theory that healing and forgiveness require 'witness', one thing the Catholic Church got right. Posting videos about one's healing experiences admirably - if somewhat dangerously - fills that need.

The NY Times recently published an interesting tech article about a new social networking site - PatientsLikeMe - that crowdsources data, statistics, charts, medical metrics. For sure, the site bucks the MSM-promoted privacy-before-all-else-for-fear-of-identity-theft or death-by-pervert-stalker trend.

Here's what deputy editor of Wired magazine Thomas Goetz had to say on the subject of the social networking of mental health research:

As diseases go, A.L.S. or M.S. or Parkinson’s or even H.I.V. are relatively rare afflictions, at least in the United States. Mental illness, on the other hand, afflicts a vast swath of the country. Nearly 60 million Americans have a diagnosable mental disorder, according to the National Institute of Mental Health, a population that includes everything from depression to bipolar syndrome to anxiety. For PatientsLikeMe, that population represents a huge market, not to mention the potentially lucrative bounty of data related to antidepressants and other mood-disorder drugs. But it also presents a challenge.
Creating a PatientsLikeMe mental-health community — or as they call it, a “mood community” — requires a new strategy for measuring mental health. The challenge is in part semantic. Where the argot around A.L.S. or M.S. is largely clinical, the vernacular around mental health is more subjective. The official diagnostic criteria for major depression, for example, include “feelings of worthlessness” and “indecisiveness.” So PatientsLikeMe faces an input problem: how to convert the ambiguities of mental illness into metrics?
Whatever its ultimate worth, the site’s answer is elegantly straightforward. Members can update their mood status every hour on a scale of 1 to 4, from very bad to very good. How they feel may be subjective, but the resulting data can be mapped across time. The site treats sessions of therapy as if they were a dose of Prozac; the type of therapy (say, group or individual) stands as the treatment, and the length of a session (say, 50 minutes a week) as the dosage.

We live in interesting times.

Music is "Mother's Blues" from Jeff Kelley's Classic Acoustic Blues album - about whom I've written in this space before.

[NY Times article]

Tags: Self-Help Art Depression

Morning Dove Conversation :: Storytelling

jannie.jan@gmail.com (http://depressionstragegies.blogspot.com) — Sun, 16 Mar 2008 12:22:00 +0000

.:. Survivor .:.

Show.

Life = Work.

The old iPod has returned in working order with a 30GB hard drive, new screen and battery. Less than $200. I love this tool. It helps me hear. Great to have it back in the arsenal.

An audio portrait of two birds.

A meditation on courtship and authority.

Formats available: MP3 Audio (.mp3)

Tags: mindfullness, storytelling, faux_press, jan, mclaughlin, life, work, morning, dove, birdsong, conversation, wloll, process, metaphrasty, courtship, portrait, spring, birds, sound, effects, fx, lo-fi, ipod, italk, griffin

Public Domain Tibetan Meditation Bell

jannie.jan@gmail.com (http://depressionstragegies.blogspot.com) — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 12:03:00 +0000

.:. Survivor .:.

A gift for you.

Formats available: MP3 Audio (.mp3)

Tags: tibetan, meditation, bell, sound, effect, fx, public, domain, wloll

Behind the Scenes :: Four-Minute Ballet for Faux Press Corps, Celebrities & Disposable Cameras

jannie.jan@gmail.com (http://depressionstragegies.blogspot.com) — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 12:27:00 +0000

.:. Survivor .:.

As titled.

It's a dinner party.

It's a parade.

An adventure.

It's the debut of the Faux Press.

It's a celebration of success.

It's a meditation on journalism, commerce, and celebrity.

It's honoring our gifts.

It's ritual.

It's dance.

It's a 'love action' - see Blow! Blow! Blow! for the definition of a 'love action'.

It's news.

Metaphrasty.

What in tarnation does this have to do with surviving depression?

Everything.

Music from Danny Payne.

Formats available: Quicktime (.mov), MPEG-4 Video (.m4v), Flash Video (.flv)

Tags: depression, surviving, healing, strategy, four-minute, ballet;, behind, the, scenes;, jan, mclaughlin;, kevin, mccutcheon;, plaza, hotel;, richard, kostelanetz;, judith, ross;, sharon, oconnell;, andrzej;, steve, bennett;, adam, merton, cooper;, eran;, lauren, moore;, rie, yamaguci;, co

New York Poems :: Joy

jannie.jan@gmail.com (http://depressionstragegies.blogspot.com) — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 09:48:00 +0000

Another of my favorite collaborative efforts.

Elaine Jones & Ed McPhillips read. The words are theirs.

Wonderfully frightening meditation on obsession.

I'm posting it everywhere - to all my sites - because this poem just works on every level I can think of at the moment; and because when violence is associated with love weird things worthy of study happen.

Don't have a still photograph of Elaine & Ed together, but there is a film school video not yet digitized that might well go up.

Mobile post sent by Jan / The Faux Press using Utterz. Replies. mp3

Going Public :: WLOLL and Publishing :; a Story

jannie.jan@gmail.com (http://depressionstragegies.blogspot.com) — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 09:07:00 +0000

http://depressionstrategies.blogspot.com/ - publishing The World's Longest Open Love Letter - Vol. 1, No. 2 was pink - a short story about Vol. 1, No. 2 - early media ripples - ephemeral artifacts - "publishing".

Begin to publish the address of this videoblog, make it public.

Ow.

Frightened of the implications.

Feeling alone in it.

Mobile post sent by Jan / The Faux Press using Utterz. Replies. mp3

Publishing the World's Longest Open Love Letter :: Part I

jannie.jan@gmail.com (http://depressionstragegies.blogspot.com) — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 11:15:00 +0000

.:. Survivor .:.

"World's Longest Open Love Letter" publishing endeavors take unexpected turns.

More adventures in advertising.

Promises. Trust.

Posters / art.

Canvas, metal, string, plastic, paper, wood.

Art as meditation.

'Publishing' the pages was the excuse to get out of the house, and collaboration another way to reduce isolation while safely serving the creative impulse (eros).

Formats available: Quicktime (.mov), Flash Video (.flv), MPEG-4 Video (.m4v)

Tags: wloll, worlds longest open love letter, jan mclaughlin, art therapy, performance, publishing, alternatives, posters, advertising

Florida Poems :: Garage Closets

jannie.jan@gmail.com (http://depressionstragegies.blogspot.com) — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 11:07:00 +0000

.:. Survivor .:.

Closets. A closet was my refuge as a young girl.

Garage Closets

- Jan McLaughlin

Take a glimpse,
a verve,
a clock along a passage,
grim,
with the must of garage closets
whose dis-remembered contents
will not pardon,
have no mercy whatsoever.

None, at all.

The glue has come undone
from every box bottom,
spilling contents at the feet of dancers
who mark time better than middle-aged children,
latching onto life
as tightly
as reputations.

Sam Perry, artist.

Spring Raulerson, artist.

Jan McLaughlin, metaphrast.

Bruce Weber, poet.

We made the audio together for my meditation on the past.

This is one of my all-time favorites of our collaborative works in Florida.

You can see a wee bit of Arturo Rodriguez camera right and a bit of Demi, camera left.

Formats available: Quicktime (.mov), Flash Video (.flv), MPEG-4 Video (.m4v)

Tags: garage, closets, poetry, poem, sam, perry, spring, raulerson, arturo, rodriguez, jan, mclaughlin, stoop, painting, wloll