Surviving Oz

Run, Elise!

noreply@blogger.com (Lisa in Oz) — Tue, 09 Apr 2013 11:00:00 +0000

I've been swamped with assignments lately (last semester, woohoo!) but I have to steal a few minutes to post this.

The Indigenous Marathon Project selects a squad of 12 amateur runners each year, then gives them nine months of intensive training with the goal of running the Boston or New York Marathon. The IMP holds tryouts in every major city in Australia, and runners are judged not only for their athletic ability but also for their commitment to improving Indigenous health in their communities.

And out of a nationwide pool of over 100 applicants, my running buddy Elise made the cut.

Yeah, that's right. This goober is on the 2013 IMP squad!

Elise has done incredible things since we started C25K together last year, and her determination and encouragement have been nothing short of inspirational. I am so freaking proud I could cry! Aw, hell -- I DID cry a little when she told me she made the squad. I may even be tearing up a little right now.

You GO, Elise!

Run every mountain

noreply@blogger.com (Lisa in Oz) — Mon, 25 Mar 2013 10:19:00 +0000

This weekend, Elise and I headed to Orange for one of the most intimidating runs on our race calendar this year: The Great Volcanic Mountain Challenge, 11k of trail running, mostly uphill. It seemed like a good idea when we registered for it...what's wrong with me?!

But before I get to the recap - race nails!

Lava for the volcano, naturally.

We checked in at 8.30 the morning of the race, then spent the next half hour taking stupid photos and idly ignoring the stretching exercises the MC was calling out.

We were 24th and 25th to register. Remind me why we were so eager?

Beauty. Poise. Class.

When the call came to head to the starting point, we stayed well to the back of the 400+ field - we had no illusions about keeping up with most of the competitors, many of whom did this kind of race regularly and could crush boulders with their thighs.

If it's all this easy, we'll finish in like an hour!

The first few kilometers were on a wide dirt fire road, and the easiest part of the course. We alternately walked and jogged, occasionally pausing to take photos of the gorgeous views.

It's like a sweaty postcard.

That's where we're going!

Elise likes to point at stuff.

And then the hard part started.

Stolen from here.

See that huge spike on the running profile? YEAH. Mount Towac will haunt my freaking dreams, people.

By the time we hit the peak, my knee (still not back to full strength) was starting to wobble, but the thrill of making it this far was worth it. Only 4k left!

You can tell Elise is cooler than I am because she wears sunglasses. True story.

At this stage we were off the relatively smooth fire roads and hiking (we'd given up running long ago!) along narrow, uneven trails. And I won't lie - it was HARD.

Perhaps it was naive, but even after seeing the topographical map before the race, I'd expected at least a few semi-flat stretches along the side of the mountain, even if they were short and infrequent. No. That sucker was ALL up or down, and at about 2k from the finish, my knee started telling me in no uncertain terms that it was unhappy about this fact.

At 9.6k, participants were offered a choice by race organizers: turn left and finish in 600 meters, or turn right and finish in 1.4k. Without even looking at each other, Elise and I promptly answered, "Turn right." No way had we come this far to disqualify ourselves by not completing the course!

Another steep hill, and my knee was starting to give me serious problems. It was so fatigued that it was shaking uncontrollably every time I lifted or put weight on it. And then I got hungry.

REALLY hungry.

This was a problem because my body is stupid. When I get very hungry, I get very nauseated. Which makes no sense because when you need to eat the LAST thing your body should be trying to do is vomit up the few crumbs that might be clinging to your stomach walls, but that's what happens.

So I spent the last kilometer wobbling wildly with every step, swallowing back bile, and trying not to just break down in tears on the side of the trail. Elise kept prodding me along, encouraging and steadying me - she really is the best running buddy you could have!

And then finally - FINALLY! - we saw the finish line flags. I hobbled over them 2 hours, 48 minutes and 52 seconds after we set out, number 368 out of 373 finishers (what happened to the 30+ non-finishers, I don't know - some may have turned left at the crossroads, others may have finished after the 3 hour limit).

The view from the finish line.

I didn't even care about my low placement - I was crazy proud that we'd finished at all, and finished within the time limit! (In case you're wondering, the fastest runner completed the course in a little under 48 minutes - I suspect witchcraft.)

Yeah. We're pretty much awesome.

Ex-best parent in the world

noreply@blogger.com (Lisa in Oz) — Tue, 05 Mar 2013 22:53:00 +0000

My girl Erica posted this today, leading me to remark, "I was the best parent in the world...until I had kids." Case in point:

Pre-baby
"Balanced, nutritous meals!"

Post-baby
"A whole bowl of white rice and nothing else, but he eats it without a fight? Great!"

Pre-baby
"Cloth diapers are the responsible choice!"

Post-baby
"Give me enough disposables to fill all the landfills!"

Pre-baby
"No TV before the age of two, and no more than 30 minutes a day after that!"

Post-baby
"You will pry the miraculous electronic babysitter that lets me cook dinner uninterrupted out of my cold, dead hands."

Pre-baby
"Educational wooden toys only!"

Post-baby
"Wood? Are you shitting me? Have you ever been hit in the head with a wooden train? Give me the plastic crap - at least when they use it as a weapon it won't split anyone's head open."

Pre-baby
"Only parents with ineffective strategies bribe."

Post-baby

"I will buy you a quad bike, three whole cakes and a pony if you will just put your pants on."

Any other ex-best parents out there?

Orange you glad we had a race today?

noreply@blogger.com (Lisa in Oz) — Sun, 24 Feb 2013 08:53:00 +0000

Today my running buddy Elise and I hit up the Orange Colour City Running Festival 5k. Although we ran The Color Run earlier this month, Orange was our first "official" race with timing chips and (woohoo!) medals.

Naturally I themed my nails: orange for the festival, complete with go faster racing stripes:

On Saturday we took a mini-roadtrip to Orange to drive the course so we knew what to expect the following day and to pick up our bibs - I was super excited to see my name printed across the bottom. It's the little things in life:

We were both a bit nervous that we'd arrive late in the morning or that the rain that had been pelting down all night had wiped Orange off the map (what? I didn't say they were rational fears) and therefore ended up waiting at the course for an hour and a half before the race started. Oops! Ah well, it gave us plenty of time to take dorky photos:

(Speaking of photos: why yes I HAVE become an Instagram whore, in case you couldn't tell from the sudden change of photo quality.)

And then suddenly it was our turn and the announcer was instructing us to self-seed. I had spent most of the last four days bedridden with the plague and knew I'd be walking some of the race, so I selected a nice leisurely group:

I powered through the first 2.5k, then hit the hills. I knew to expect them from our drive around the course the day before, and immediately slowed to a walk. Call me a wuss, but between my weak knee and plague-ridden lungs, I wasn't going to waste any energy by running my happy ass up a hill, especially when I wouldn't be going much faster than a good walk anyway. I alternately walked and ran the next 2k, slowing on any uphill sections of the course.

The course staff were awesome, constantly calling out encouragement to the runners, and just when I thought my knee couldnt take any more, I heard a staffer shouting that there were only 200 meters left, I dug in and raced toward the finish line as fast as I could.

My final time was a super slow 43:00, but I was pleased that even with as much as I walked, I finished in two minutes less than my self-seeded time. Not to mention the awesomeness of my very first medal!

Show me the color!

noreply@blogger.com (Lisa in Oz) — Thu, 14 Feb 2013 03:31:00 +0000

Last Sunday, I ran my very first 5k with my good buddy Elise - and not just any 5k. It was the Happiest 5k on the Planet!

On Saturday we drove down to Sydney, where we ate ridiculously fattening burgers and picked up our race packs. Check it out - my very first race bib!

I am totally going to make a scrapbook like this one (bottom of post).

We lined up bright and early on Sunday morning with 20,000 of our closest friends:

The race was pretty much what I expected: lots of people, lots of fun, and LOTS of color! I learned to keep my mouth shut pretty fast after the first (blue) dye station - that is some seriously nasty tasting powdery shit.

The Olympic Park course was a bit odd - the dye stations are supposed to be stationed every kilometre or so, but there was a massive gap between the second (orange) and third (pink) station, probably because it was largely on a closed public road where they couldn't throw the dye. Ah well, what's a bit of inaccuracy - it's hardly the Boston Marathon, eh?

Like my sparkly nails?

I wasn't able to run the whole thing - at about 3.5k, my knee (better, but still weak) started twinging badly, and I damn near cried when I told Elise I needed to walk the rest of the course. Probably sounds stupid since it's just a silly fun run that even young kids participate in, but the Color Run was my running goal for months and a big motivator to help me get back in my running shoes after my injury. But as Elise pointed out, I'd only been back running for a couple of weeks, and 3.5k is still a lot further than I'd have run six months ago!

And after we passed the fourth (yellow) station and crossed the finish line? We looked like this:

Elise is such a goober. I love her.

C'est moi. [Side note for those interested in Operation: Fatass: turns out that not exercising for 2.5 months while emotionally eating over a family member's prognosis really packs on the pounds. Who knew?!]

That huge face splotch was my revenge for Elise shoving a fistful of green dye up my nose. Four days later, it still looks like leprechaun snot every time I blow my nose. True story.

Good times, man. SUPER good times!

See you in the spring

noreply@blogger.com (Lisa in Oz) — Thu, 07 Feb 2013 03:39:00 +0000

Grandfather
Father
Husband
Friend

We miss you so much already.

Run Lisa, run!

noreply@blogger.com (Lisa in Oz) — Wed, 23 Jan 2013 21:46:00 +0000

Guess what I did today?

After more than two months of taping and strengthening exercises to fix my busted knee, yesterday my physiotherapist cleared me to start running again. So at 5.30 this morning, I hauled my ass out of bed and eased back into the groove with a half hour of walking and running intervals.

I won't lie - it was hard work. Although my knee is healed, the surrounding muscles are still pretty weak and it's going to take a while to completely rebuild its strength.

Still, I'm pretty chuffed since I registered ages ago for The Colour Run in Sydney next month and was worried that I'd have to skip it entirely - so even if I have to putter along instead of really running, it's still pretty awesome as far as I'm concerned!

Incidentally, I just realized that I never posted about the underlying cause of my Baker's cyst - turns out it was a maltracking kneecap, which is why it didn't show up on scans (which obviously require you to hold still, making everything look totally normal). I'm such a special snowflake!

Aloha, Elvis!

noreply@blogger.com (Lisa in Oz) — Mon, 14 Jan 2013 11:48:00 +0000

Last weekend was that time of year again...ELVIS TIME!

This year we sent the Pirates to their grandparents for a couple of days so we could enjoy the kickass Festival with other grown ups - but first we wrangled the boys into their new jumpsuits (courtesy of their Grandpa and Grammy) and took them down to the library for a little photo session before packing them off:

Why the library? Because it was hot. 43C/110F hot. So hot that the roads were melting and you could literally feel your feet cooking through your shoes when you stepped on the asphalt. And because the Pirates' jumpsuits were made of some kind of fleecy material, they were poaching from the minute we coaxed them into the suits until we stripped them in the library parking lot, which meant any fun outdoor shots were nixed immediately. But they still hammed it up, and even worked their charms on the librarians:

With the kids safely stowed away with Ben's parents, the next day we hit the Festival, starting with the parade:

Unlike last year, these are virtually all the photos I have because my face was about to melt off my body, making me largely disinterested in lugging a heavy camera around all day. (It also made Ben largely disinterested in wearing a full body polyester jumpsuit, which is why you aren't being treated to images like this one.)

But even though it was miserably hot, we still had an awesome time. When people are having this much fun, how can you not?!

Elvis IS alive...in Parkes!

Goin' to the chapel

noreply@blogger.com (Lisa in Oz) — Tue, 08 Jan 2013 06:47:00 +0000

Ben's sister Rachelle and her long time fiance Jim tied the knot last weekend, and we were there to celebrate with them...and of course take a lot of photos (keep an eye out for the two cutest - albeit somewhat rumpled - ringbearers ever)!

Congratulations, you guys!

Bachelor Ben

noreply@blogger.com (Lisa in Oz) — Tue, 01 Jan 2013 01:27:00 +0000

It's 2013, beeyotches! Which means I finally got off my ass, re-installed a bunch of necessary software, and downloaded photos from one of the biggest events of ~~December~~ all of 2012:

Nice piece of paper, eh?

Yup - Ben graduated! He's been working on this degree for a loooong time, and we were all super excited to see him walk up to that podium to receive his diploma.

My photos of the actual diploma handover are complete crap - by that point we'd been sitting in the auditorium with the Pirates for nearly three hours, and although they did brilliantly with their stash of toy cars and an iPad, they were still tired, bored and frustrated little boys.

"I. Am. So. Bored."

But I do have a photo of Ben patiently waiting to be called up:

I enjoy how fancy all Australian gowns are, regardless of degree or class standing.

Along with a bunch of us hanging out with the man of the hour:

My hair is questionable, but at least his eyes are semi-open.

Very proud parents, very tired little boys.

Ben's big sister Rachelle.

Not too tired to try yanking on Daddy's cool hat.

Ben is now trying to decide if he wants to pursue an MBA - any words of advice?

Look for the helpers

noreply@blogger.com (Lisa in Oz) — Wed, 19 Dec 2012 22:53:00 +0000

Over the last few days, I've had a lot of Australians ask me about the Sandy Hook Elementary School shootings.

They ask how. They ask why. And I never know what to answer.

I have no idea what drives someone to do something so horrendous that I have to fight back tears just thinking about it. I don't have words to make sense of it, or to comfort our collective grief.

So instead, I let the always wise (and always missed) Mr Rogers do the talking.

“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, 'Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.' "

Helpers like the NY firefighters who attended the funeral of Daniel Barden - who wanted to be a fireman when he grew up - to protect the service from potential protests:

[image stolen from FDNY's Facebook page]

Look for the helpers. Sometimes they are the only thing that help us keep our faith in humanity.

Four things

noreply@blogger.com (Lisa in Oz) — Wed, 12 Dec 2012 09:41:00 +0000

Blogging has not exactly been foremost on my mind lately. Some things have been going down that are, frankly, still a bit too painful to write about. I'm fine, Ben and the Pirates are fine...other loved ones are not. Posting may continue to be more intermittent than usual for a little while.

A) My TV boyfriend has an extensive voiceover in the new Star Trek trailer. You'll want to watch it. Also: YOU'RE WELCOME.

2 - Bookcase porn.

III. I'm still Limpy McLimperson. The results from my knee scan came back and the diagnosis is: nothing is wrong with me. This is odd because Baker's cysts are always caused by some kind of underlying trauma, but I'm such a super special snowflake that I have one with no readily apparent problems: no tendon or ligament damage, no cartilage tears, nothing. Currently I'm on mega anti-inflammatories, with orders to return in two weeks if there's no improvement. Since I've been taking them for nearly a week and a half without much change, I'm guessing I'll be knocking on my doctor's door again in a few days.

four} Wine inspired by The Princess Bride. I NEED SOME.

One of those wine charms is a six fingered glove. YES.

[image stole from here]

Pop goes the kneecap

noreply@blogger.com (Lisa in Oz) — Wed, 28 Nov 2012 11:39:00 +0000

A little over a week ago, I was moseying around the house when something in my knee popped -- pretty much never a good thing.

After a few days full of rest, ice, and elevation with no improvement, I went to see our friendly neighborhood doctor, who promptly informed me that I probably had a Baker's cyst and sent me off to get my knee scanned.

Sure enough, I have one of these bad boys:

Not my image. But that white thingy is pretty much what it looked like.

[stolen from here]

It's a bit like having a miniature water balloon shoved behind your knee. Sometimes they hurt, sometimes they don't - in my case, my knee feels fine as long as it's flexed but hurts when I fully extend it (which means no running), and grows quite stiff if I hold one position for too long.

Baker's cysts are symptomatic of an underlying problem - like tendon strain or meniscal tears - and I'm waiting to hear from my doctor about the root cause and recommended treatment. Fingers crossed that it's just a simple problem that will heal with nothing more than time and rest.

The really sucky part about all of this? My knee popped the day before my final C25k training run. I have ONE FREAKING DAY left.

I'm giving the universe a mega stink eye right now.

Four things

noreply@blogger.com (Lisa in Oz) — Tue, 13 Nov 2012 09:07:00 +0000

1.
Four days of potty training bootcamp = tedium defined (albeit bodily fluid filled tedium). On the other hand, not having to change diapers ever again = amazingly awesome. Yay for the Pirates!

Do you know how hard it is to find an image for potty training that doesn't feature a bare-assed kid on the throne? Hint: it's hard.

Stolen from here.

B)
Tomorrow is the second to last day of C25k. I can't believe that I'm actually running for 30 minutes at a time. Not 5km - I'm waaaaaay too slow for that - but still a solid half hour. Nine weeks ago, running for 90 seconds was scary! My running buddy Elise and I have come up with a plan to avoid losing momentum after the official training stops, so I should be able to bore you with more running in the future.

Motivation.

Image stolen from here.

Three:
Finally, peanut butter and pickle sandwiches get the recognition they deserve! I've been eating them for years, but have only met one other person who loves them like I do.

Seriously. They are amazeballs. Don't judge before you try them.

Photo stolen from here.

IV-
If you've been reading for a few years, you may have noticed that the Mo- is missing from the -vember this year. Ben claims he just wasn't feeling it this time - I think he was just wanting to avoid being mistaken for a serial killer:

Movember 2008. It lives on in our memories. Forever.

Tantrum magic

noreply@blogger.com (Lisa in Oz) — Thu, 01 Nov 2012 02:12:00 +0000

During a story time at the library a couple of weeks ago, Dash erupted into a full blown tantrum. Screaming, kicking the ground - the works. I stepped away from the group and tried to settle him, but he wasn't having any of it.

And that's when Debbie, one of the boys' favorite librarians, calmly walked over and held out a plastic bottle full of what looked like watery glitter. "Here," she said. "We made these this morning with a craft group. I'm curious if they actually work."

And suddenly there was silence. Absolute silence. Dash was utterly transfixed by the shifting glitter - it had stopped his full blown tantrum in an instant.

Naturally, I immediately turned to Debbie and begged her for the magic spell she had used to put the bottle together.

After that, I made two of our own and they have made an AMAZING difference in our house over the last couple of weeks. Will and Dash aren't unusually bad kids - they're pretty typical 2.5 year old toddlers - but with two of them going at once it could get pretty stressful sometimes.

Debbie called them Time Out Bottles, explaining that they were designed to be used as relaxing timers during a time out (when the glitter has all sunk, the time out is over).

I call them Calm Bottles, not out of any objection to time outs (I use 'em occasionally, mostly to buy time before I totally lose my shit) but because they work so well as a calming/distraction aid. Will and Dash love them and frequently ask to play with them, but I reserve them for situations where we need behavioral modification stat, since I don't want the bottles getting old and boring.

Magic, I'm telling you. Pure magic.

If you want to make some of your own, here are the instructions...

Calm Bottles
1 24oz/750ml plastic bottle with straight sides and a flat bottom (glitter tends to get stuck in the bumpy base of ours)
1 tube glitter glue
1 small packet - maybe 2 tablespoons? - of fine glitter (the chunky kind doesn't swirl as well)
1 4z/118ml bottle of clear glue (I used BIC, but I think Elmer's Clear School Glue might be only option in the States?)

Fill the bottle about 3/4 full with tap water, then add the tube of glitter glue, packet of glitter and all of the clear glue. Shake well, then top up with more water as needed. Glue cap on bottle before use.

C25K is my bitch, even if nature hates me

noreply@blogger.com (Lisa in Oz) — Sat, 20 Oct 2012 12:43:00 +0000

I've been moderately terrified of today's solid 20 minute run since I first saw the C25K training schedule six weeks ago, and even when I set out this morning I was pretty unsure about my ability to actually finish without having to stop and walk.

An enormous spider dropping out of a tree and straight into my path when I was all of about 20 seconds in didn't help (although it did add vaulting and an extra sprint to my session).

Yeah, pretty much like that. Only I'm sure it had fresh blood dripping from it's fangs. [from here]

I desperately wanted to give up after about 15 minutes, but instead I cranked up my tunes, powered on and amazingly enough, I actually finished the 20 minutes!

I celebrated by flinging a victory fist in the air and letting out a whoop that neatly turned into a choking cough while I swallowed the fly that had been buzzing around my head and waiting for me to die for the last ten minutes.

Yup, just like the old lady of yore.

BTW, how cool are these "There was an old lady who swallowed a fly..." nesting dolls?! I want some. [from here]

And then, on the cooling walk home, still picking fly parts out of my back teeth, I had to navigate through an area covered in blooming clover and currently occupied by a herd of bees (herd? flock? swarm? it's actually a swarm, isn't it?).

Pastoral beauty my ass. More like Nature's Killing Range. [from here]

I can only conclude that Australian wildlife are alarmed at my increasing fitness and are now trying to keep me weak and incapable of escape. Which isn't really a surprise considering that it's, you know - Australia.

But who cares! C25K was totally my bitch this week and that's what counts. Suck it, nature!

Four things

noreply@blogger.com (Lisa in Oz) — Thu, 18 Oct 2012 22:28:00 +0000

One
Check out this kickass rotating 3D nebula. Astronomy rocks!

Two

I'm starting to think my kitchen may not be complete without Han Solo in carbonite ice cubes.

Three

Love this history of western typefaces from dailyinfographic! (click link for a larger version)

Four

Tomorrow marks the first day in C25K where there are no intervals - just a straight 20 minute run. I'm moderately terrified.

Color me excited!

noreply@blogger.com (Lisa in Oz) — Thu, 11 Oct 2012 22:38:00 +0000

Guess what I just did?

Yup, registered for The Color Run in Sydney next February! My awesome friend and C25K training buddy Elise and I are going to run for 5k while people throw colored powder at us. Pretty cool, right?

It's going to be awesome and I'm so excited...two things I never thought I'd say about jogging my wobbly ass for 3 miles!

Long time, no post

noreply@blogger.com (Lisa in Oz) — Thu, 11 Oct 2012 02:56:00 +0000

Yeah I know - it's been AGES. Work, kids, running, blahbityblah, not to mention that school is kicking my ass right now with a heavy workload of final assignments. I'm currently struggling to find another 150 words to finish off a business case, which means I currently look like this:

Oh, Ron Swanson. You see into my soul.

Motivation

noreply@blogger.com (Lisa in Oz) — Fri, 21 Sep 2012 03:00:00 +0000

I cracked up when I saw this...

[from here]

...because no lie, that is EXACTLY how I keep myself going when the running gets hard.

"Come on, Lisa! What if the zombies were coming after you? You need to train!"

I may have a problem.*

*But I'll still out-run the rest of you when the inevitable apocalypse comes.

Day One

noreply@blogger.com (Lisa in Oz) — Mon, 17 Sep 2012 21:02:00 +0000

This one goes out to my girl Teri, who kindly asked how my first run went.

So I did my first session of C25K this morning.

For the first ten minutes, I was all:

[from here]

Then I realized that I live in a nest of hills and at some point would have to run back UP the hill I was currently running down, and I was all:

[from here]

These hills lead to me crapping out around 20 seconds early on two running intervals and entirely skipping one that would have involved me jogging up a very steep hill, under the presupposition that dying on the side of the road would be worse for my fitness than not following C25K to the letter.

This would have been me. True story.

[from here]

I also discovered that good running shoes really DO make an enormous difference (until now I'd only half-assedly attempted running in cheap cross trainers), and that, as Erica once mentioned, ass-clapping is a real thing.

Still, I'm super proud of myself! I know it wasn't exactly an iron man triathlon, but you have to understand: I don't run. And today I ran! Maybe only for 60 seconds at a time, but I RAN. And as the saying goes:

[from here]

Damn straight.

Kicks

noreply@blogger.com (Lisa in Oz) — Mon, 17 Sep 2012 03:44:00 +0000

Check out what I got today!

Sidewalk chalk!

Kidding. That was yesterday.

Like my new kicks? I've decided to take up running. [Pauses to allow everyone who knows me in person to stop laughing hysterically.] More specifically, I'm doing the couch-to-5k program with my good buddy Elise. Obviously this required new shoes since, as every 5-year-old knows, they make you run faster.

Running starts tomorrow and I'm super excited! Remind me about this statement in two days when every part of my body hurts and I'm bitching about getting up at the asscrack of dawn, OK?

Four things

noreply@blogger.com (Lisa in Oz) — Sat, 15 Sep 2012 23:21:00 +0000

I. Not the End of the World Cruise

Speakers include scientists and authors. No speeches on Mayan prophecies, sorry.

II. The Fart That Almost Altered My Destiny

If you have a juvenile sense of humor (as I do), you will literally laugh out loud at this!

III. Map of the Dead

Check out what my good buddy Elise found! It shows you what essential services are in your area so you can prepare for the inevitable zombie apocalypse. There's distressingly little in my area. Then again, I live in the middle of nowhere, so I suppose we can always just run out into the bush and die from venomous native animals instead.

IV. Berndnaut Smilde

Berndnaut Smilde - Nimbus D'Aspremont, 2012

Smilde makes real clouds form inside of empty rooms. Fog machine + temperature/humidity adjustments = clouds that last just long enough to photograph.

Next stop: my own bakery

noreply@blogger.com (Lisa in Oz) — Fri, 14 Sep 2012 02:58:00 +0000

See this?

All this picture is missing is some butter. And some drool.

I TOTALLY BAKED THAT.

I know this is impressive to no one but myself, but you see: I have a long history of bad bread baking. I'm a pretty good cook in general, but if it involves yeast and kneading then I'm pretty much guaranteed to screw it up. It probably doesn't help that I don't have a bread machine or a KitchenAid Mixer, so when I mix and knead dough, I'm doing it old school.

I've been gently working my way up to a loaf of bread with pizza dough and the occasional batch of pretzels, and yesterday I took the plunge and gave Amish White Bread (which a friend assured me was nearly idiot-proof) a try. And I did it! And it was actually good! Amish bread is my bitch, yo.

It was tasty, but a little on the dense and sweet side - almost like a Hawaiian sweet bread - so I might aim for a more traditional farmhouse white bread next time. Does anyone have a good (read: easy) recipe?

Thinking with my stomach

noreply@blogger.com (Lisa in Oz) — Sat, 08 Sep 2012 02:44:00 +0000

I'm in a baking mood this weekend, and since the Pirates have recently learned the word "pretzel" I thought this would be a good time to bust out my mad pretzel making skills. Plus I was dying to try this garlic jalapeño cheese dip, so any excuse was a good one.

The recipe makes 12 pretzels. Many of which did not make it to this photo. We salute those who fell behind in the name of tastiness.

Pretty tasty looking, no? I stuck to my favorite pretzel recipe instead of the one accompanying the cheese dip - why mess with it if it isn't broken, right? The dip itself...ehhh. I was surprisingly underwhelmed considering how tasty all the separate ingredients are. Garlic! Jalapeños! Cheese! How could it go wrong? But the final product was a bit blah, and I don't think the flavors had enough time to come together properly the way the sauce was cooked. I think if I was going to make it again, I'd take the time to roast the garlic and jalapeños (or at least lightly sauté them) first.

Still, not a bad way to spend a Saturday afternoon!