Surviving the Cubicle

Office and Cubicle Survival: Beer

2009-12-07T20:10:00.005-05:00

Surviving in a cubicle is tough. The surroundings are mind-numbing, the ventilation sucks, and you have no privacy, By the end of the day, you are tense, frustrated, and pretty much brain dead. You are also very thirsty. What do you do? Drink beer of course. Let's face it, you are not Nick and Nora Charles (the "Thin Man" and wife for the barbarians reading this). You don't make the rounds of the swankiest bars in New York drinking Martinis. You go home, change into jeans and sweat shirt, open the fridge, grab a can of your favorite brewski, plop into the couch or easy chair and watch the sitcoms (don't lie about watching the news or PBS, you know you do this). However, we live in wonderful times. There are great beers from major manufacturers, and there are great brews from micro breweries. Life is good. Enjoy the variety. There are wine snobs, single-grain whiskey snobs, etc., but true beer drinkers are not snobs. Anyone who tries to be a beer snob is a pretender, and does not really like the stuff. Banish them! Ignore them! Enjoy yourself!

A blogger (video blogger, actually), that I really enjoy reading and viewing, has built a blog to review beers. What is great about this big beer blog is that this is a man who truly enjoys and understands beer. This is not a beer snob. He can enjoy a Bud just as much as a Sam Adams.

He also spend his days suffering through all the corporate bullshit the typical middle class American (who is still lucky? to have a job) does. The blog looks great and the reviews tell you what you need to know.

The blogger I'm talking about is Allyn Hane. Along with the "Big Beer Blog," he also has a blog called "Blogger Illustrated," which focuses on his life as an internet marketer and his journey to independence from the corporate world. I really enjoy his rants about management. He has no qualms talking about what we all feel.

Cubicle Hacks for Health and Wellness

2009-11-21T18:15:00.002-05:00

OK, it's time to get serious about truly surviving your office cubicle. In the past I've been serious, angry, occasionally funny, but maybe not particularly helpful. It had always been my intention to write a great post providing you with the best tips, guidelines and methods for surviving life in your cubicle. Unfortumately. I'm a lazy bastard, and it was never going to happen. Thankfully, someone else had the energy, time and ability to do exactly the post I should have.

A very talented woman, by the name of Adrienne wrote an excellent article called “50 Best Cubicle Hacks for Your Health and Wellness.” As she staes in her post, she found "the 50 best cubicle hacks for your health and wellness. Useful for physical, mental, nutritional, and other aspects of your health." She was not exaggerating.

Topics include:
Best Cubicle Hacks for Your Mental Health and Wellness,
Best Office Supply Cubicle Hacks for Your Mental Health and Wellness,
Best Visual Cubicle Hacks for Your Health and Wellness,
Best Computer Cubicle Hacks for Your Health and Wellness,
Best Cubicle Snack Hacks for Your Health and Wellness,
Best Cubicle Hacks to Keep From Going Postal,
Best Cubicle Tool Hacks for Your Health and Wellness.

Every one of these sections has multiple office cubicle hacks for improving cubicle life, and the links to the sites providing detailed infomation on each. This was either a labor of love or someone has way too much time on their hands.

Please check out this posting. And, while your at it scheck out the rest of her blog. It's called "Radiology Technician Schools." Don't let the name turn you off; all the info is solid.

She also has a posting called "100 Best Web Tools and Tips to Organize Your Inbox" that is just as good as the one described above.

The privacy policy

2009-11-14T17:06:00.000-05:00

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The office cubicle: It's history. What the hell happened?

2009-10-05T20:34:00.000-04:00

Office cubicle history is an unusual subject. Robert Propst, who would become known as the "Father of the Cubicle," would vehemently deny being a parent of the monstrosities we refer to as cubicles today. Robert wanted the "action office," he wanted workers moving around and interacting. He wanted workers doin thir work in different positions: standing, sitting, at the water cooler and in the restrooms. He wanted an office where people moved around and interacted.

Robert Propst's vision was not to cram as many workers into as little space as possible. It was not to reduce movement and interaction. Unfortunately, Robert Propst neglected to take int consideration the fact that most of the people in management are total assholes. It is their goal to dominate, control and subjugate. Less movement, poor air circulation and no view of the outside world are their goals. Poor Mr. Propst saw the good in people. He wanted the offices around the periphery of buildings taken down and spaces opened up. Get real!! The cubicles may have gone up, but those offices stayed in place. Not only were workers surrounded by dull grey or beige walls, but they also had no way of getting to a window and looking out. It was better whe there was one office for the director and maybe an office for a manager, and everyone sat at open desks (watch "How to succeed in business without really trying").

Office cubicles today are like prison cells. Low-walled cubes in enclosed team areas are like cells confining multiple prisoners. High-walled cubes are like solitary confinement. At least when you were at a desk in an open area, your manager was much more relaxed. Also, as a worker at those desks, your manager could not sneak up on you.

I used to think an open are with desks lacked privacy. However, cubicles create paranoid management. If they can't see you, they believe you're not working. If they see you get up to talk to a coworker, you are goofing off. When you hear parts of conversations going on around you, you can't see faces or reactions and you assume the worst.

Is it any wonder office cubicles have gotten such a bad rap over the years. And as for Robert Propst, "the road to hell is paved with good intentions."

Office Desk Accessories: fun cubicle desk accessories

2009-09-28T21:09:00.002-04:00

The fun office cubicle accessories really let you express your individuality. These are the desktop toys, sometimes known as executive desktop toys (i.e., only executives in the company could get away with them). These are the funny posters, the action figures, the aquariums, the strange little terraria (or is it terrariums?). These are the stress toys, the objects that reflect your hobbies; and, if you are not careful, the objects that could get you fired. (Disclaimer: Those looking to advance beyond cubicle life [i.e., an office] should probably avoid these accessories.)

The toys executive-hopefuls might use are the more sedate toys. These are the stress relievers. These include puzzles, the ever popular drinking bird, Newton's Cradle (balls), gyroscopes, Etch-a-sketches, Slinkys, and anything soft and squishy you can squeeze in your hand.. These toys are acceptable to upper management. The purpose they supposedly serve is to relieve your stress and help you relax. If you need this sort of thing on your desk, you must be doing something right. If you're not stressed, you are not working hard enough. They are also conversation starters, and, in some cases, the focus of the rare opportunity for meditation.

Then there are the desk toys and accessories those of us who will never see a real office put on our desks. These are the signs and posters that express what we truly feel (e.g., "SUCCESS - Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings... They did it by killing all those who opposed them" from SJT Enterprises Inc.). These are the USB toys that show how truly warped we are (e.g., dog humping the USB port). These are the voodoo dolls you use on your manager (you know where you want to stick those pins). These are the action figures for your profession (e.g., Freud, Blackbeard or the finance executive action figure). You can get wallpaper for your cubicle walls simulating outdoor vistas to look at during the work day.

For those who long for the outdoors, or miss their plants and pets, there are accessories for them too. There are desk aquaria (aquariums?), all sorts of small desk terraria and plants. There are also the virtual plants and animals available for your screen saver. There are also fake windows with your favorite outdoor scenes to hang on your walls.

Then there are the cubicle desk toys designed for the office warrior. The days of rubber bands to the butt are over. Paper planes over the cubicle wall are done and gone. Not only can you fire your rubber bands with your fingers, there are rubber band derringers, rubber band tommy guns and rubber band machine guns. For the truly high-tech, there are USB missile launchers (with webcams).

Whatever your tastes and level of risk taking, there are desk accessories for you.

Office cubicle accessories: Make your cubicle your own.

2009-08-31T20:29:00.020-04:00

Office cubicle accessories are an absolute necessity for remaining sane in your cubicle. At a minimum you are in that cubicle 7.5 to 8 hours a day, 7 days a week. Perhaps you get time off (salaried employee), perhaps not (temp, consultant, etc.). You really need to accessorize that cubicle and make it your own. These accessories range from the mundane and practical to the crazy and weird, but hopefully not the "get you fired kind of crazy and weird."

You need office accessories to organize your work, keep you organized, personalize your cubical space and help you have some fun. Work cubicles, when you first move in, are devoid of personality. It is as if they were designed to break your spirit. The cubicles are usually some version of industrial grey/gray, green, tan or blue. Blank walls, empty desk, empty shelves and a standard Windows desktop theme. Maybe the office or overhead lighting is adequate; maybe not.

One of the great things bout accessories is that they can totally accommodate your taste. They can be any number of colors or materials (wood, plastic, chrome, etc.). They can be conservative or totally outrageous. They can be purely decorative or completely utilitarian.

Practical cubicle accessories help to keep your office space and cubicle in working order. They help you to maintain your sanity. They keep your pens, paper clips, and cables together. The practical cubicle accessories include desk calendars, wall calendars, in boxes, file organizers, desk sets, desk blotters (for those who still use traditional writing instruments), letter trays, cable managers, etc. There is some office tool out there for almost anything you need to do, and for many things you can get along perfectly without doing. Cubicle accessories help to keep your office space and cubicle in order. Keep errant pens, memos, paper clips, and cables together with office cubicle accessories.

However, neither man nor woman lives by the practical alone. The more personal accessories help you stay human. Remember, the office cubicle (cubical?), has as its main purpose to turn you into a piece of office equipment. Don't let it!! This is where pictures, photographs, slogans, plants, themed calendars, holiday decorations and your children's creations come into play. My desk has mini-figures of animated characters I enjoyed, and the wall have my daughter's personalized gifts and creations. It's not corny to put up pictures of spouse and kids. They are the ones for whom you are selling your soul (16 tons and what do you get...). Also, one of the more amazing ideas I've seen on the web is from a company called CubeSkinz. They provide wallpaper for your cubicle that can make you think you are anywhere but in your cubicle. Check out their website.

Then there are the truly strange, the funny, and (hopefully) "just-under-the-wire-and-won't-get-you-fired" accessories. Things like pencil sharpeners shaped like robots, USB plasma balls, dinosaur-shaped lamps, funny takes on motivational posters, personal fans, personal heaters, personal humidifiers, etc.

Remember, they are out to depersonalize you. They want a worker that serves them like a laserjet. Let your cubicle (with your office cubicle accessories) tell them to "stick it" so you don't have to.

Unemployed in a recession - what to do?

2009-03-21T19:19:00.007-04:00

I left a company I was employed with for a dozen years back in June. I knew I wouldn't starve to death. I had taken early retirement and I thought I would be taking on a new career (teaching middle school science). I did the whole transition to teaching thing and was ready for my placement.

I lasted 6 days in front of the "little darlings." This was an inner city middle school. I never gained control of the classroom. After two weeks (6 days in front of students), I resigned rather than have a nervous breakdown.

I was out of work just as the worst economic downturn in 70 years was just hitting its stride. I started looking for a job, and I also started looking for a way to supplement a very meager early-retirement stipend. I explored many make money online (MMO) schemes. Some seemed better than others. One scheme that looked promising was "Site Build It." They offered to hold your hand and walk you through the whole process of creating a site and earning money online. However, I'm the world's greatest procrastinator, and a cheap bastard to boot. I decided to investigate a lot of other options before shelling out any money.

Here is what I believe from my research. "To thine own self be true." If you need the level of hand holding Site Build It offers, go for it. But understand, you are paying $300 per site, and if you are willing to do some homework, you can accomplish the same thing for much less. Several recent on-line reviews of "Site Build It" put things in better perspective than I ever could. One of these, Site Build It Scam Review, asked a number of important questions about this product. If this is such a great product, why are the people using it in such a snit about a negative review. If your site is making money (enough to offset the $300 per your paying), why do you care about a negative review. Unless, of course, the money you are making is from the "Site Build It" affiliate program.

For those, like me, who have been investigating other means of making money online, there are a number of sites that provide quality info for free, and the resources you need cost less than $300 per site. For those really willing to make a go of it, try Court's make money site the "Keyword Academy," or Griz's make money and adsense for beginners sites.

If you need hand holding, and don't have the cash, another possibility is the "Thirty Day Challenge." They tell you how to get started with minimal (or no) investment, and the support, in the way of forums, etc., is impressive.

All I'm saying, is don't shell out a lot of cash without doing your homework.

Surviving your office cubicle, revisited

2009-03-07T16:03:00.004-05:00

I have been very negligent about updating this blog. It is hard to write about office cubicle survival when you are not actually in a cubicle, or even in an office. I was out of work between the middle of September 2008 and mid-January 2009. Happily, I am now gainfully re-employed. Something to really cheer about in this economy.

In my new position, I actually have an office. It is actually not much bigger than my old cubicle, and the air circulation is worse. However, IT IS MINE.

I still appreciate some of the sites that helped me survive cubicle life in the past. I still enjoy Dilbert and Kim at Cube News 1. Of course, if any of the very few readers of this blog have suggestions on surviving cubicle life, they would be greatly appreciated. PLEASE COMMENT.

I will try to be more diligent about posting. Any suggestions for this blog?

When pigs fly!

2008-12-15T17:28:00.004-05:00

This is an expression that I use too much. I was playing around with Squidoo and decided to create a lens about the expression "when pigs fly." I thought it would be fun, and might even help a worthy charity.

Fred Hill's Dream Team

2008-12-03T18:00:00.004-05:00

Is this scary or funny? You tell me!

All of the uniformed services, both military and civil service, march in uniform in parades across the nation. Why shouldn't office workers also do the same? We have our uniforms: the navy blue or black) power suit (never brown), shined black leather shoes (preferably oxfords), the conservative school or rep tie, short, ell-groomed hair, and, of course, the leather briefcase.

Be proud of your office uniform, and get out there and march in those parades.

Great advice for cubicle survival

2008-11-04T15:30:00.003-05:00

NetEffects' tips for surviving in a cubicle world.

Some people have waaaay too much time on their hands.

2008-09-25T14:53:00.002-04:00

Take a look!

I'm baaaaaaaaaack! and What was I thinking?

2008-09-24T18:03:00.003-04:00

OK, I got the whole teacher thing out of my system. With the minimal amount of training I received and a huge pair of blinders that I was wearing that prevented me from seeing even myself, I found I was totally unsuited for teaching in an inner-city middle school. I couldn't handle the disrespect, the violence (not students on me, but students on each other), the outright hostility. I was intellectually prepared for major difficulties but not emotionally or psychologically ready. I lasted 6 days in front of 4 classrooms of 7th and 8th graders (~110 students).

Now, I am 55 and without a plan. What do I want to be if and when I ever grow up?

This particular experiment in my life is now in my file cabinet in a folder labeled "What the hell was I thinking?"

Where were these people 90 days ago?

2008-05-27T19:15:00.003-04:00

I announced 90 days ago that I was taking early retirement and I was going into teaching. The senior director, someone I've known for twelve years, now takes an interest in what I'm doing. It is only eight days before I leave. I have had more communications with this person in the last two days than I've had with her in the last 4 years. She wants to be brought up to speed on everything I've worked on. I'm at a point where I just want to say "bite me," but I don't want to get my ass fired in my last eight days.

Aarrrh!!!!

2008-04-24T22:33:00.002-04:00

I like the music.

Gleamin' the cube!

2008-04-13T16:26:00.001-04:00

What the wheels on your chair are really for!

Dolly Parton, Disney and 9 to 5

2008-03-30T17:39:00.001-04:00

Don't know where this came from. Too surreal to comment on.

Conference Call

2008-03-21T19:18:00.001-04:00

What are the people who call into a meeting really doing?

Leaving the Cube or Frying Pan to Fire

2008-03-15T16:05:00.004-04:00

I've done it. I gave notice. As of early June, I will no longer be living in cube. I decided I wanted to be a teacher and will be teaching secondary general science come September (God, help me!).

Strange as it may seem, I think they are actually happy to see me go. Could it be my reticence to do my weekly reports or the moaning and sighing that emanates from my cube on a regular basis? Who knows and who cares?

I'm out, I'm out,I'm out,I'm out...

Another cubicle prank

2008-03-02T17:06:00.002-05:00

WHO HAS THIS MUCH TIME ON THEIR HANDS???

Ultimate Cubicle Prank

2008-03-01T23:32:00.002-05:00

Please! Somebody do this to my cubicle! Please!!!

Anal Retentive Bullshit: otherwise known as advice from management

2008-02-25T21:20:00.010-05:00

There are many challenges to surviving office life, whether you work at an office desk out in the open or in a cubicle or in a small office of your own. However, perhaps the biggest challenge of all is dealing with management.

There are people in management, believe it or not, who have the imagination of rocks. They have no sense of proportion when it comes to what a project needs. You will spend days fixing the nitpicking nonsense these morons focus on, and will fall behind on all your other projects. They don't understand what it is you do, but justify their own exalted position by demanding changes to your work. This usually involves slight changes to wording or the formatting of tables and graphs. It never involves substantive or meaningful changes to your work.

Cubicles should come with a warning label.

2008-02-07T18:55:00.001-05:00

Humanscale

These people know.

This is an interesting little site:

2008-02-04T20:36:00.001-05:00

Cubicle Survival Kit

and this is my favorite part:

CUBE DWELLERS BY CHOICE

These people are so important, they don’t have to sit in cubicles ... but they do anyway!

Michael Bloomberg, Mayor, New York City (net worth: $4 billion)
Meg Whitman, CEO, eBay (net worth: $850 million)
Jeff Bezos, CEO, Amazon.com (net worth: $1.2 billion)
Andy Grove, Chairman and former CEO, Intel (net worth: $267 million)
Jerry Yang and David Filo, Co-Founders, Yahoo (net worth: $625 million each)
Carly Fiorina, CEO, Hewlett-Packard

My Cubicle.

2008-02-01T22:52:00.000-05:00

So beautiful. I'm almost in tears.