Susie's Pity Party

No More Pity Party for Susie

2012-02-13T18:02:00.004-06:00

Posted by Sue's daughter, Katie

On Friday February 10, 2012, at 1 pm, my mom lost her two year battle with lung cancer. When she was given her terminal diagnosis in September 2011, we were told she only had a few weeks left but she fought so hard that most people were shocked to hear she was so sick. On Monday February 6, 2012, she took a turn for the worse and thankfully all my siblings were able to be here for her last week.

We spent our days and nights in my mom's bedroom with her, watching home videos, eating in bed, singing, telling stories, and also spending one on one time with my mom. Her last moments were very peaceful and she was surrounded by all her kids and some of her siblings. Just a few hours before she passed, Lauren played the guitar while we all sang (off key and slightly teary). Lauren sang Heaven by Moonpools and Caterpillars after my dad passed away and she sang and played it again for my mom on Friday morning. It really was a beautiful morning. I don't think my mom could have asked for a better send off.

Iowa Hospice provided her hospice care and they were such an amazing group of people. Her nurse, her CNA, the chaplains, the massage therapist, the music therapist, her doctor, the social worker, the on call nurses-every single one of them loved mom and helped my mom through the hardest journey of her life. When hospice arrived after her death, there was not a dry eye in the house. My mom was not just a patient to them-she was a mother, friend, and fighter. We were blessed to have found such a compassionate organization to take care of our mom and to support our family through all of this.

We are all hanging in there and thankfully we have each other, our close friends, my mom's friends, and my mom's nine siblings. Even though she is gone, we feel her presence so strongly in the love and support we have received from everyone. I know she is up there with my dad looking down on us now. To look at this horrible situation as a positive one, my siblings and I now have two guardian angels who will guide us and keep us safe.

Thank you to everyone for all your kind words, thoughts, and prayers over these last few months and especially over these next few weeks while we grieve our tremendous loss. We are having a small private service on Saturday 2/18 and we plan to celebrate her life with her closest friends and family. In lieu of flowers, please send memorial contributions directly to the family. Information can be found at www.hamiltonsfuneralhome.com

Thank you all for your love, support, and comments over the last two years. My mom was a blessed woman.

Love,
Katie

Narcotics and stupidity and dumber and dumber..

2011-10-30T20:18:00.001-05:00

Can't believe how lack of sense I have. Can't find anything...purse, phone, keys, hands to hold. Most of the time I just want a hand to hold. I can't even drive a stick by myself because of the narcotics and I might fall over. No wonder I never did drugs when I was young. I like to be in control. I want to know that THIS IS ME AND AND I'M NOT GOING TO HURT ANYONE.

6 in the a.m. and I can't walk by myself because because I might wipe out and get confused. I take an early morning bible class (SALT) and know some of the ladies from my Y Healthy living class. How fun to recognize them. And have reconnected with friends from Elkhorn, WI who are going through similar things with me. How our lives are following a pattern where we can actually help each other and be there for each other. God is NOT leaving us alone to be alone. How wonderful. I am taking a trip to Orono, MN when Terry, Allison, Sebastian and Arleigh move next week. It's supposed to be about a 4 hour drive. We'll see. I hope the drive isn't that long.

I will sorely miss the baby. She has gotten so much personality in her little body and is always laughing and fun. She is one happy baby. I will miss her to pieces. She certainly does like to sleep with her grandmma and anyone else she can pat down for food. She's special. I will upload some pictures and everyone can see how wonderful she is. And yes, Virginia, she DOES get up at 6:30 a.m. and she IS happy to be up and around and go to the library and go out to breakfast and do things early because we are EARLY morning people. I don't care what anyone else says. WE GET UP EARLY!. I will miss my pooh-doll. I'm excited to be with her and pat her down and make sure she has just as junky food to eat as me. No candy bars though. Love my baby's. Wanted her to be here. today, tomorrow, yesterday, and all the days in between.

We'll figure everything out. Love all my kids and animals. Momma-Sue

2011-10-10T17:04:00.002-05:00

No photos on todays blogspot. Will have the kids snap some soon. Yes, I'm on dexamethasone again...as well as lots of narcotics. I was meandering along in the sun wondering why my incision site hurt so much, not realizing that I had bone mets and horror!!!! brain mets. My brain must be pretty small because I have absolutely no indication of seizures or anything else that would be affecting my mental acuity (if I still have any).

The narotics are helping immensely with the rib tumors. I have about nine "generous" sized tumors in my brain - two over my optic nerves so my sight gets funky once in a while; have only had 3 instances of impaired peripheral vision - and maybe two or three headaches. All in all, I'm pretty lucky. No seizures, no seizures and the fun part is, my brother and sisters are doing slumber parties with me. It is SO SO much fun. Brother Pat looks like a 6 foot long coccoon laid out on the living room floor. We fall asleep earlier than regular slumber parties, but wake up so much earlier too and lay around talking and drinking coffee and laughing and snorting. I love my family. It's almost like mom and dad are up in their room and we're all downstairs waiting for Santa to come.

And it does seem magical. The magical part is that we're together loving each other and laughing. Surrounded by my big kids and my sisters and brother and my sibling little kids.

Life is good. God is good. I'm having a great time loving my family.

West Des Moines, IA
5:00 pm
10-10-11

Lots of drama is going on but I won't talk about it now. If you're family, you know, if you're close friends, you know...if not, you really don't want to know.

Love to all...oh, we've been eating a lot of good food and my brother is letting me use his two-seater convertible as the only item on my bucket list!!!!! I get it tonight!!!!! I'm over the moon!

Susan K

Snow in Iowa

2011-02-01T17:07:00.004-06:00

How I long for S. Ponte Vedra Beach, Fla about now. We're supposed to get a possible 8" of snow. Then I turned on the Weather Channel and see that Chicago (Kate, Pat, Lauren and Lexy dog) may get up to 24" and suddenly Iowa doesn't seem so bad.

I've had a couple of scares from my chemo doctor this past week but have everything sorted out now and am putting it out of my mind (trying to anyway). Being scared is absolutely no way to live each day. Will start seeing my acupuncturist Wm. Terrell again on a regular basis and will figure out a great diet full of super-foods! Woe is me, I think I may have to quit my diet of Peanut M&M's. And no, Anne Marie, peanut M & M's really aren't vitamins! How I wish they were a super-food! WAHHHH.

Brussel sprouts, on the other hand....I just bet THEY'RE a super-food! And gas producing broccoli and cauliflower. Strawberry cheesecake and dark chocolate cake with fudge frosting.....NOT superfoods.

So when I was a bit scared about some medical things, Aisling and I went to WalMart and I was going to buy cheesecake and icecream, and chocolate cupcakes, and cream filled doughnuts, and powdered sugar donuts, and a bunch of junk food because I haven't eaten any junk food lately. I looked each one over, put each one back on the shelf, and purchased a small piece of carrot cake. Since it has carrots in it, I thought that could count towards my five to seven servings of vegetables! But how I wanted the cheesecake and the cream filled donuts! I can't go back in there until I grow some willpower.

I feel great, am taking a Z-pack for my cough (I've had this cough for about 3 weeks and that was one of my worries) and the medicine seems to be helping. I will be going to the pulmonary specialist next week just to check in on the Advair not seeming to work. (Oh, I did read that Advair can cause weight gain!) I got off of the prednisone and the citalopram because I can't lose this darned weight, and now find out this causes weight gain too. Ahhhhh.

I'm not taking anything right now but Vitamin C (chewable), chewable one-a-day vitamins (and believe me, I could eat the whole jar!) and the Z-pack.

Normal in Iowa --

5:26 p.m.

Another "All Clear" - Over A YEAR!!

2011-01-16T08:04:00.003-06:00

Arleigh thinks all this is so much hot air!

My last CT scan was January 7 of this year. During my doctor's appt. on the 11th I was given the "all clear". I do have some spots she's watching: it's radiation fibrosis. Those "spots" are by the scar tissue in the left lung and have not changed from previous scans.

I must be a vain person because I am still crying over my lost hair. I know, I know, I have hair that is at least 3" long (no Rapunzel yet). Bozo yes, Barbie no. It's so shockingly curly that I can't even blow dry bangs (you know, the fringe around my face). The darned hair just keeps curling right up. My sister-in-law Nancy is a beautician (that means making people - i.e. me - beautiful) and I do have an appointment with her this week. We're going to experiment to see what can be done to make me look like a sexy bombshell instead of Grandma Standley. Yes, my grandmother was a beautiful grandmother, I just don't want to look like her right now. In 15 years I would be flattered, but right now -- WAHHH!!!

So there you have it, folks. I'm still crying the blues. Just over my hair. I realize now just how much hair can change the entire aspect of first impression.

The cough. The Advair has really helped this yucky old cough (radiation pneumonitis). Seems to have come back a little over the past three weeks. Not as bad, but a bit of coughing now and then...dry cough. The nurse called me after my visit with the "all clear" diagnosis and said one of my blood labs came back high and I'll need to redo that next week. Maybe even redo the CT scan. I'll not borrow trouble until I need to. What has Aisling (my 15-year-old daughter) convinced me of? I've been weaning myself off an anti-depressant I had been taking this past year (since I'm Miss Vim, Vigor, Voluptuous - 10# more voluptuous than previous)and don't feel the need for it. Citalapram. Awful stuff trying to get off of it. Makes my brain feel as if it's on a roller coaster while the rest of my body is standing still. A bit disorienting. I did wean myself over a month - guess it takes longer. Back to the main thread...this drug probably has skewed my blood tests according to Ling. The way I feel, I believe her.

All of you who know me know that I usually am a 6 hours of sleep person. This past month I've been setting my alarm clock! I can sleep for 10 hours. Thank you citalapram. Another side effect of withdrawal. Wouldn't you think I'd be absolutely gorgeous by now what with all that sleep? I still look like Fern Agnes. Ha ha.

All joking aside, I'm delighted and filled with wonder and gratitude each day when I awaken. I poke fun of my hair, but THANK YOU, GOD! I HAVE HAIR and curly hair (be careful what you wish for) and eyelashes and my same old eyebrows. I'm starting a new business with my daughters and am EXCITED and busy. The new improved me is coming to the surface. I can hardly wait to see what the three of us will accomplish together.

I'm not sure I was ever the cookie-baking mom, but my energies have always been focused on "momness" and now the circle is complete.

Love to all my friends and family -- JB, you have a birthday coming up next month, don't you? What, 29?

January 16, 2011
8:25 a.m.
West Des Moines - not Ponte Vedra Beach

Merry Christmas!!

2010-12-21T10:20:00.003-06:00

I love Christmastime. The lights on the tree; the twinkling decorations that are oh so tempting to little baby hands...the smells of cinnamon baking in the pumpkin roll as well as the scents which only can be sniffed at this time of year. (It's also cowbook time; and those of you who know me know that during Christmas break, I TYPE AND TYPE AND TYPE).

I'm so excited for my kids to be home this year...I've made quicke lorraine and shrimp quiches, crepe skins and chicken crepe mix; chocolate no-bake cookies (hey, Beverly, you left out ONE ingredient - no wonder they don't taste quite right), oatmeal choco-chip cookies, Grandma Conyers' fudge, Marie Kumbina's pumpkin rolls, and will make regular chocolate chip cookies today and tomorrow will be the stuffed shells with homemade spaghetti sauce and meatballs. And last, but not least, EGGNOG! Nothing on earth tastes like homemade eggnog, with a pinch of nutmeg and cinnamon (and a bunch of rum or brandy!)

Everyone has their Christmas traditions. The Kokott's open their presents on Christmas morning. As the kids have gotten older, the "Santa came, Santa Came!" phrase doesn't sound until around 10 a.m. Wish John were here to celebrate Christmas with us. He was the Big Santa with the big ho-ho-ho! laugh. I'm sure he'll be with us in spirit.

As I look at all my children, as well as my onliest Arleigh Angel (sweet baby-girl), I see the continuation of John and Susan Kokott reflected in the eyes and smiles, the laughter and joy of my beautiful family. If I had to say what the point of my life is, it's the family we created...the family we continue to create with those we love and with whom we share our lives. Some family is blood, other family is made by shared times of joy, sorrow, confidences and conversation. Above all, family is love and laughter. I don't remember so much the times I've cried, as the times I've laughed UNTIL I cried.

From my family to yours - Love, peace, and happiness this Christmas season.

Susan K
West Des Moines, IA
12/21/2010

Will post photos when my family is home again starting on the 23rd.

Silver Bells ringing in the Snow!

2010-12-14T14:53:00.005-06:00

I hate to admit that it's been so long since I've posted anything. Life has been exciting and full of busy-ness. My granddaughter Arleigh has been spending quite a bit of time at my now "child-proofed" house. She's almost 9 months old and is into everything she can reach...and believe me, she has a boarding house reach! (Like a Conyers.)

All my CT scans have been "NED" (no evidence of cancer) as well as my latest at the end of September. The cough was out of control (radiation pneumonitis) and the prednisone didn't help or heal...just made me gain about 18 pounds!!! Ouch (and yuck).

(As you can tell from the pic, I have eyebrows and eyelashes again...also still have a smear of blackness from my black eye under my right eye. The doctor said I'll have to go to a plastic surgeon to get rid of that dog-pulling accident! I'm not sure if it's worth it.)

Went to a pulmonary specialist at the end of October and got on Advair as well as an albuterol inhaler and "ta-da" no more cough. Also, no more excuses not to go back to work. Now that I know work is just around the corner, I'm finding so many things to do!

I'm healthier and wiser than I was last year at this time. Joyful and thankful for my wonderful friends and family. The kids are all coming home this year for Christmas since we now all live in Iowa, Wisconsin, and Illinois (no more Arizona kids). I think I'd rather go to Arizona for Christmas. First snow of the year, first shoveling of the year, and already I'm ready for summer...and more summer vacation at the beach!!!

Visited my big sister in Vancouver, WA. What a relaxing, great, motivating time. Thanks, Anne Marie.

Just wanted to wish one and all a very Merry Christmas and joyous Holiday Season.

West Des Moines

December 14, 2010

3:01 p.m.

Home again, home again, rig-a-jig-jig

2010-08-21T13:00:00.003-05:00

A photo of Lexy, my daughter Kate's dog. We're watching her while she and her husband go to Costa Rica...yes, ANOTHER VACATION! Some people have the life. Lexy had surgery to remove a cancerous nodule from her head. The vet thinks she got it all and we're hoping Lexy is going to be okay.

My backyard certainly is not the ocean. Before I lose the magic and awesome feeling of that vacation, we booked a house for next year and most of my sisters and adult children have committed to another two weeks next year.

The house is a 4 bedroom, 3 bath house, almost 3000 sq.ft. and on the same beach; about 20 houses south. I wish I could've stayed for an additional week. When I'm older, I plan on moving to Florida. Oh, how absolutely wonderful. I'd sit on the beach with my book and forget to read for watching and listening to the waves. Calming, relaxing, recharging. Good for talking with God and actually hearing His voice.

I do look like a Puffer Fish, (not a frog yet) what with the prednisone. I'm down to 10 mg. a day and next week I'll only take half that - if the cough doesn't come back. I have a bit of a cough on the 10 mg., I just want to get back to normal.

August 21, 2010

1:11 p.m.

West Des Moines, IA

Packing up....wahhhhhh

2010-08-07T07:21:00.003-05:00

Our last sunrise was overcast - which makes it that much easier to say good-bye.

Scout LOVED the beach once he realized the towel was his and he didn't have to lay his face in the sand. He did end up swimming in the tide pools. He met a female dalmation and fell in love this vacation. Ah, puppy love.

My black eyes are almost gone - the prednisone is still bloating me and it is discouraging - but I keep telling myself "it's only temporary".

We went to San Sebastian Winery for the wine tour and tasting last night. How neat. Ended up buying six bottles of wine between us.

Getting ready to pack up the car. Next year....

S. Ponte Vedra, Fl

August 7, 2010 7:32 a.m.

The Party is Breaking Up....

2010-08-05T17:00:00.003-05:00

This is the last sunrise the six sisters will spend together this year. We've decided we had so much fun, we're going to do it again next year, same time - same place!

And here is baby sister Stephanie all bummed out because the limo is picking her up at 9:30 and she can't even go down to the beach. "Just a couple more days! I'm not ready to go home."

Katie paddle boarding...early in the morning as the waves aren't too tremendous yet. (They did get pretty powerful as the day wore on.)

Jon out surfing...Emily got out really far on the paddle board this morning. Yesterday she got cut up trying to get it out past the breaking waves. (That was in the afternoon.) The kids all got up around 6:30 this a.m. to try it before the waves really started roaring.

Jon and Emily enjoying a drink (water, water everywhere but never a drop to drink) as they read their books.

Kate and Lauren trying to figure out if we're going to the wine tasting tonight since Emily and Jon went to a gator farm and into St. Augustine already.

Ponte Vedra Beach, FL

Thursday, August 5, 2010 5:14 p.m.

Boo-hoo! It's almost time to come home. No! No! Give me another week or two. This is truly Paradise.

Beautiful Weather, Beautiful People

2010-08-04T08:41:00.003-05:00

The Gang's all Here

2010-08-02T05:52:00.004-05:00

Jon and Emily arrived yesterday at JAX around noon and after liquor shopping arrived at Turtle's Nest at 2:30. What a beautiful time we're having.

Am just going to post some photos this morning - they tell it all.

Monday, August 2, 2010
6:02 a.m. Ponte Vedra Beach, FL

Just another day in Paradise...

2010-07-31T16:29:00.003-05:00

July 31, 2010 - Saturday
4:36 p.m. Ponte Vedra Beach, FLA
The sisters are here!

Girls Gone Wild (on the beach)

2010-07-31T06:43:00.003-05:00

My sisters all got in safely. The flights were ALL delayed due to bad weather out of Des Moines and Dallas. Stephanie missed her connector flight with Anne Marie so Steph was the Lone Ranger, coming in at about midnight all by her lonesome. Anne Marie, Deb, Kaydee, and Beverly all got here around 7:30 pm. After chicken quesadillas and several drinks, we went to the beach and watched Kate, Lauren, and Ling with the teenage boys next door as they did "Dance Contest". What a wonderful night. Anne Marie gave each of us a gift of a beautiful necklace.

We changed sleeping arrangements - Kate is now in my spot with Scout. Don't think she and Scout are comfortable with each other yet.

...and what can I say? Another perfect day at the beach. It did rain for about 20 minutes and cooled things down for a few minutes. It generally rains up the beach, or down the beach, rarely in our "backyard".

Will take photos of the sisters today and post later. Signing off now from

my little piece of Heaven
6:53 a.m. July 31, 2010
Ponte Vedra Beach, FL

Another day in Paradise

2010-07-30T04:40:00.002-05:00

On his own, Scout doesn't stray too far from us. He gets up, goes in the water up to tummy; a big wave comes and he runs back under the umbrella. He actually went swimming yesterday in a pool of water where no waves were breaking. We saw about a dozen shark fins yesterday - from the kitchen window; we were making a meal. Needless to say, we were very careful in the water after that. There were about 10 fishing boats in the same area. Fish must've been schooling. Kate thought they may have been dolphins so looked them up on the i-net and yes, they were sharks!

Hope you don't think we're lazy. Aisling really wants to go into St. Augustine and see the sites and do the tourist thing. Me? Hand me a drink, a beach chair and an umbrella - give me the crash of the waves, sand and water, and I'll sit for hours with nothing but a goofy look on my face - relishing the water energy as I am RENEWED! This is all I wanted/planned to do - sit on the beach and be a bum. Soaking up as much of the sun and wave sounds as I can in this two weeks. Gee, I want to live here.

Some people in my life are missing from this vacation. Marie, Beth, and I should have invited my almost daughter Alice B. She was the cutest little thing - so quiet and shy, but boy, don't push her buttons - she could roar when she had to (and believe me, at our house she had occasion to roar much more than she did). Alice, I wish you were here. I have so many wonderful memories of you - love you, l'il girl.

The views from the deck are breathtaking. The sisters get in tonight. Yes, Mike, we've taken your advice and alerted the local law enforcement and EMS that the Standley girls are in town and have fire and ambulance service on alert.

4:53 a.m. Friday, July 30, 2010
Ponte Vedra Beach a/k/a Paradise, FL

Wednesdays with the Kokotts

2010-07-29T04:12:00.005-05:00

Of course, my arachnaphobiac daughter Kate would see this "little" guy hanging over our heads every time we walk up or down the stairs. As if HE isn't bad enough, his 3 sisters live over to the left by the deck railing! They are harmless - we had to look them up "agriope" or something like that. Big, big, big. Wish I'd had something to make a size comparison with. Really, quite a beautiful spider. It's web is almost as thick as fishing line - it would have to be as the spider is large.

Another (please keep them coming)beautiful day at the beach. No rain, no clouds whatsoever. On our drive down, the forecast called for 10 days of rain and cloudy weather. Must be up the beach...or down the beach, because in our little spot of Paradise, there has been no rain - nothing but SUNNY DAYS.

Woe is me! I look like my grandma Standley. My hair is either curly or sticking straight up in spots. Looks like I've bobby-pinned it every night (remember those days, Anne Marie?) and have little pincurls all over my head. Not that I think my grandma was unattractive...just never thought I'd look like her. Ahhhhh. Thinking about my "battle with the dog wounds", it could have been worse. I could have needed stitches, poked my eye out, broken teeth...and instead I just look like Pam-pam Panda. AND, to add insult to injury, the prednisone has nicely "rounded" out my face, abdomen, and neck. Really and truly, I've gained less than 2# while on it (122.7) but I read an article (because I feel fat) about how being on prednisone not only increases your appetite, slows down metabolism, but redistributes the fat. One of these days I'll be me again. Right now it's kind of fun exploring possibilities. So no photos of me right now. Okay, so I'm lacking a bit of confidence in the looks department. I'm okay, then I look in the mirror and have a little freak out attack and promise myself not to look in the mirror again. I have been wearing Lauren's movie-star-style sunglasses.

Last night it was a DANCE PARTY at the beach house. Played "Last Word" and "Catch Phrase" pre-dance. Can hardly wait for "the sisters" to get here. We'll serve them jellyfish sandwiches. No, we're reserving that delicacy for Jonny Kokott.

Thursday 4:39 a.m., July 29, 2010
Ponte Vedra, FLA

St. Augustine

2010-07-28T04:50:00.004-05:00

After another beautiful day on the beach, Kate, Lauren, and I drove into St. Augustine. What a beautiful old city. Along the lines of Lake Geneva, WI - only more so. The history dates back to the 1500s and there is a lot of history there. The sisters will want to see this city as well as the wine tasting and jazz bar one night during vaca. So bring your walking shoes and a wet towel to wrap around your neck. The ocean breeze at the house is delightful, and when you're not near the ocean, man! it's hot!!

Got a note from sister Deb and she has poison ivy or oak or something; Beverly is in a walking cast, Sue is beat up looking (I have bruises around both wrists - big red and blue ones - so it really does look like someone held me down and beat me up). Here is a note I received from brother Mike: "It sounds like you are all accidents ready to happen. I have contacted the local authorities and they will have extra EMS personnel on hand while you visit. You may want to check out The Villages, I have heard it’s a nice retirement village. I’ll visit and drive the golf cart for you. I also advise buying stock in Depends as the Standley’s will probably double the stock value within 10 years. Maybe 5 if you start shoving water down Anne Marie.

I hope you all have a great time and don’t scare the locals. Love, Mike

South Ponte Vedra Beach, FL
July 28, 2010 5:06 a.m.

Walking on the Beach

2010-07-27T02:14:00.004-05:00

Kate mentioned earlier she had read that anticipation of vacation oftentimes is more fun than the vacation itself. I don't believe the person who spoke those words went to the beach with loved ones. There is nothing more invigorating than walking on the beach, looking for land sharks, while a 30# dog tries to take you waterskiing.

Aisling and I walked a ways south down the beach around 9 last night. The moon was gorgeous and orange. Scout must have marked his "territory" well as he knew, even in the dark, which house is ours. See? He's not ALL naughty dog; he honestly does have his uses.

I'm not sure what's gotten into him but he's taken to following me around again like a two-year-old toddler, crying if I go in or out without him.

The prednisone is still keeping me wakeful. Here I thought I'd sleep like a baby. Even lack of sleep can't spoil my enjoyment...more awake time to remember the sights, sounds, colors, and love of my kids (and sisters here soon!)

Good morning from the beach!
Tuesday, July 27, 2010 2:25 a.m.

Scout takes down 2 - 2 to go!

2010-07-26T05:02:00.004-05:00

Kate, Lauren, Scout, and I were walking along the beach last night around 9, drinks in hand. Because of my earlier run in with a deck post, Lauren was holding Scout's leash - not that he'd go anywhere without us (smile). Lauren was sporting a Corona and Kate a white wine...Scout just sniffing sea grass (ahem).

When...all of a sudden...Scout turns in the direction from which we had just come, and takes off like a banshee - throwing Lauren's one-sip Corona off to the side, and her to ground, in a knee-bashing blood bath. Kate and Lauren took off after the bad boy, yelling at him to stop. He did. About 20 houses down the beach and just sat there waiting for them to pick up his leash again. He was scared - shaking. Who knows what he thought he saw. I have never seen him run so fast.

For a dog that weighs under 40 lbs., he sure has been throwing us big kids around. Dogs (and people for that matter) act strange under a full moon, which at 1:36 a.m. today we have.

Early Monday morning 5:11 a.m. (thank you prednisone!)
July 26, 2010 - Ponte Vedra Beach, FL

Scout tried to kill me!

2010-07-25T15:32:00.005-05:00

HE was just too too excited to see Kate and Lauren on the beach, so he "flew" me down the beach stairs - vertical - until my cheek/eye/forehead crashed into a vertical deck post. Blood everywhere - black eye - nothing worse than that except for the goose egg on my forehead and a swollen left above the ankle. I CRIED! Ouch, it really hurt - Wiley Coyote, move over! After icing it for 2 hours, the swelling went down and I can see out of my eye. Hopefully, the black eye will be gone by Friday or Saturday.

Can't believe my luck being so bad lately with falls - kind of think it may be the chemo still. I'm going to drink it out of me!

Sunday, July 25th, 2010
Ponte Vedra Beach, FL

Sand Pipers

2010-07-25T06:04:00.004-05:00

This is what I awoke to at 5:45 this morning. The windows are all steamed up from the a/c inside and the humidity outside. There is a breeze that blows across the deck all day and night from the continual movement of the water. Very few flying bugs.

Took Scout for his "constitutional" this morning and man, oh man, the spiders in their webs are all over the place...had to duck to get down the stairs. Lots of big green (1") bugs were caught in the webs. Have to remember to look up for webs.

The sun is shining, Kate got in around 1:30 to the house - her flight was delayed out of O'Hare because of weather along the route. Ling, Lauren, Scout, and Kate are still sleeping as I sit here typing this and drinking coffee. Vacation is a wonderful thing! We plan on spending the entire day at the beach - reading, drinking, eating. I'm not planning on starting a diet anytime in the next two weeks. Wish I'd been able to rent a house big enough for all my friends to join us. I can't tell you all just how happy I am to be here.

Sunday, July 25, 2010
6:11 a.m.
Ponte Vedra Beach, FL

Kicking back on :Ponte Vedra Beach

2010-07-24T18:56:00.004-05:00

Yippee! We made it. The house is gorgeous; spacious, 3 bdrms, 3 baths, very clean, and most significantly important - right on the beach. The crash of the waves, the cry of the gulls - it's almost deafening. We'll be sleeping great for two weeks!

Rums - spiced, dark, light, vodka, teqiula, beer...wines; white and red. We're stocked up for that lost shaker of salt.

We pick Kate up at JAX tonight at 11 and spend a week relaxing - or relaxing as much as Kate will let us, what with all her organizing! The sisters come next week. Scout already loves it. He was afraid of the waves for about 2 seconds, now he's jumping in them, body surfing, no less, and doing his dog paddle, chasing after the sand pipers and gulls.

More to come tomorrow.

Saturday, July 24th, 2010 7:06 pm

Vacation's all we ever wanted!!!!

2010-07-24T07:11:00.002-05:00

What beautiful country we've been driving through. Sunshine, great highways, little traffic, except when we hit Atlanta, GA...stop and go for over an hour. My car got an adrenalen (sp?) rush when it almost hit the car in front of it (bad car! bad car!) and the outside temp went up to 122! Maybe my car is going through menopause? No, it was really that hot outside the car...all that traffic, generating all that heat on the asphalt/concrete. Whoa.

Our second day of travel, we drove all the way to Jacksonville. The drive has been very relaxing and fun. Lauren decided to feed Scout raisens (which the poor little guy chewed and chewed and chewed) and then, as Aisling was sleeping, he threw them up into her hand. We all laughed so hard...yes, even Aisling!

Scout IS in Dog Heaven. We were reloading the trunk yesterday and he wanted to get moving again and was so excited about getting back in the car, he jumped into the trunk and lay there waiting. His "spot" is half in the back, half in the front. We put a pillow from the back seat onto the front seat console and he lays his head on the pillow and watches between Lauren and me. He's a funny little thing. Hasn't barked once this whole trip. (He HAS whined. The big baby. He wants to be back on the road.)

We can't get into the house until 3 so will mosey around Jacksonville and go to the beach. Can hardly wait for the rest of my kids and my sisters to arrive! Two weeks!

Will post photos tonight when I unpack the camera and take shots of the beach and house. Love to all.

Oh, I do have radiation pneumonitis. (Back in April/May I thought I did, but the dr. didn't think so. Now she thinks so.) Have been on roids so I rarely sleep. I've only gained 1 1/2# - all in my cheeks! The cough is a little better, but at times it is discouraging. I feel 100% and then when the cough kicks in, 75%. I'll lick this - the cure is worse than the disease. (smile) Who cares? I'M ON VACATION!

July 24, 2010
7:23 a.m. - Ramada Inn, Jacksonville, FL

Ponte Vedra Beach aka Margaritaville

2010-07-20T21:18:00.003-05:00

I am so excited I can barely sit still! I have beach chairs, loungers, beach umbrellas, Scout's food, sand buckets, toys, treats, and retractible leash (just in case a big fish tries to eat him for dinner - we can REEL him back in). Anne Marie, Debbie, KD, Bev, and Stephanie will be arriving July 30th through August 5th.. (my sisters), and son Jon and Emily will also arrive at that time. Kate, Lauren, Ling, Scout and I are making this a road trip and are eagerly mapping out the most scenic route.

It has been so wonderful to have this vacation with loved ones to look forward to. Allie, Terry, and grandbaby girl Arleigh won't be able to make it - they will be packing up their home in beautiful Lake Geneva, Wisconsin and moving to Des Moines, IA. Terry got a promotion and will be working out of the Ankeny store (Home Depot). They will be here the first week of August. Tim and Kristy (Terry's folks) will be helping them make the move.

The only shadow has been the radiation pneumonitis. I thought I had it back in April and asked the dr. but she didn't think so at that time. Now, she thinks so. I have been on prednisone (great for the firm figure! not) and have been like a Mexican jumping bean...asleep at 1:30 and up at 4. By the third day of that routine, I'm out like a light at 9:30. Ah, the days of early to bed are long gone.
I've had so much energy, even with the stupid cough, that I've taken to walking Scout again at night. Without a hat!! My hair is about an inch long - dark, dark, dark, and believe it or not, that's not eyebrow pencil, but honest to goodness eyebrows and eyelashes. (My hair is so soft...Aisling and Lauren like to run their hands through it.) Blush - so do I. I was driving around in my car today with the windows open and could actually FEEL wind blowing through my hair. What a weird feeling. Something I always took for granted before. I could feel my hair moving. It's still Twiggy-short hair, but oh, it's real and it's mine!

Optimism is the rule for the next month! I feel on top of the world emotionally as well as physically (hair, beautiful hair...never gonna cut it).

July 20, 2010
9:31 pm

Hot, stormy summer mornings..

2010-06-22T20:54:00.002-05:00

Never thought I'd ever sleep in again. I'm usually a "wake up at 4:30 or 5:00 a.m." kind of person. A good thunderstorm sure knocks out that kind of behavior. Some mornings I even sleep now until 7:30 or if it's the weekend, 8:30 or 9. Can you say "alleluia"? (I'm not even sure I can spell it.

Of course, maybe I've been sleeping late for the past few weeks as I've not been feeling tip-top. Had my scanxiety appt. today and...lo! and behold...I'm not a hypochondriac...I have bronchitis, which is why I've been coughing and feeling fatigued lately. Hopefully I got some good drugs and will be back to my new normal in a few days. Should have called the doctor and gone in sooner, but old Miss Doom and Gloom was scared of hearing bad news. Instead, NO EVIDENCE OF DISEASE once again. Yippee! (Both lungs were bothering me, so you may see why I was anxious.) Something did show up on both lungs, which is why the doctor says I have bronchitis. Not tumors.

My head is no longer bald...more like a wet rat right now...dark, dark, surprisingly dark and if it's not curly, then I have about 200 cowlicks going on. It's going to take a little longer for my lashes to return....wahhhh!

Enough about that. My car was in the shop getting road worthy for the trip to St. Augustine...ALL five of my sisters will be vacationing with us, and all my kids (some the whole two weeks, some only 5 days) and my granddaughter will be joining us. Why am I driving? Can't leave my little Scout behind. He is getting his own personalized life jacket and Margarita bowl. Right on the beach...how relaxing and fun it all sounds. Am going to make the dream a reality...with my family, how can it be anything but fun?

I go back to the onco in a month (sooner if I'm not feeling better w/the antibiotics and steroids) for X-rays to make sure all the fluid has cleared up from both lungs.
Will blog again then.

9:07 p.m.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010