Sustainable Mommy

August 29

noreply@blogger.com (Katherine) — Mon, 29 Aug 2016 14:15:00 +0000

What is up, universe? Someone please help me figure out what is going on with Duncan. Is it just too many new/changing things at once? Is he growing? Is it both? This morning he didn't want to brush his teeth, and then he didn't want to go to school. Is he feeling like he has no control over anything? I know Gertie has something to do with it. I know it's just a phase and things will be better soon ... But I told Eric this morning that I haven't felt this down in a long time. All first world problems, of course, so I'm trying to keep things in perspective, but I know that weaning off these hormones is affecting me as well. I broke down last Wednesday night and told Eric that I'm just so lonely. I have no close friends, and haven't had, since high school. When things happen I call Eric or my mom. I want some close friends - some female friends that are moms that understand what I'm going through. I will admit that this is why I'm on Facebook so much - trying to connect with other people when I'm at home at feeling out of control. Maybe since I feel out of control, Duncan does, too. I know that he "gets" what I am dealing with. I know he is somewhat of an empath, and I have no idea how to help him with it. Maybe I should talk to an adult empath. Hm. We still aren't back into our "rhythm" - hopefully this week helps with that.

House update: inspection on Thursday morning. Applied for loan. That's all we can do right now. It is very exciting!

My thoughts are negative. This is not good.

What am I grateful for today?

Eric. Always.

The ability to grow life.

That Autumn is almost here.

Evenings to relax.

Dog training starting soon.

House stuff progressing.

Meeting with friends to talk and process. I will probably cry ... Ah well.

August 28

noreply@blogger.com (Katherine) — Mon, 29 Aug 2016 00:59:00 +0000

Oh, what a week. So many ups and downs. So many emotions. So much frustration. I don't even know where to start.

Monday, Bloodwork and Costco. Gearing up for school on Tuesday. Dropped breakfast stuff off at school so it would be there for Tuesday morning.

Tuesday, up at 6:30. Left the house at 7:30. At school before 8 to set up for the breakfast. Lots of great stuff donated, so I was thankful for that. I cried at the Rose Ceremony (where the 8th graders present roses to the new 1st graders to welcome them to the grades - it's so sweet). Had a nice morning with Violet. We spent some time at my mom's and had lunch with Eric. Duncan said "2nd grade is hard," but he had a good day and was glad to get back with his friends.

Wednesday, Violet's first day ... Duncan woke up saying he didn't feel well. I thought it was just second day nerves, but I was wrong. The school called me later and said that Duncan was in the office not feeling well. Eric picked him up for me and I met them there shortly after. Violet had a great first day, though. She's a kindergarten pro! Duncan was in bed the rest of the day with a fever. Went to sleep with a fever. I put some oils on him in the afternoon.

Thursday, Duncan woke up with no fever. Since he'd had a fever the night before, though, he didn't go to school. Duncan and I spent some time at my mom's and then picked up Violet after a short trip to Target. That afternoon, I found a house on Redfin that I wanted to go see. The kids agreed. Eric was supposed to have an important meeting that afternoon, but it was canceled, so he went with us to look at the house. We all loved it. We spent the rest of the day contemplating making an offer.

Friday, dropped both kids off at school, both feeling well. PHEW. Met with Becky about Parent Pillar stuff. Went to Jessica's house to meet her new sweet baby, Ezra. Had an appointment with Harry at 10:15. Flew over to our realtor's office at 11:30 to make an offer. We gave them until 10pm to respond. Our realtor called at 5:00 and told us WE GOT THE HOUSE. SQUEEEEE!!! We were all excited.

This weekend has been rough. Very rough. Duncan has not been himself. We think it's a combination of things ... Growing, school starting, house, heat. Lots of stuff. He has been refusing to do every day things, like brush his teeth. He is fighting us on everything we ask him to do (or tell him to do). I cried out of frustration tonight at bedtime. Hard. Violet, on the other hand, has practically an angel. She's acting so much different than she was just a few weeks ago. We can only hope that the normal routine of this coming week will remedy things. I am trying so hard to be a compassionate and calm parent, but I failed this weekend. Big time. Oh, and I'm also weaning off hormones, so I know that has something to do with my sensitivity.

So these coming weeks will be filled with excitement and new things. My first midwife appointment is on Tuesday. I'm 10 weeks now. Time feels like it's creeping. We will also hopefully have the home inspection this week, and our house will go up on the market in a few weeks. Fun times! I enjoy moving. I think it's fun. Probably a little nostalgic for me since I loved it so much as a child. I moved every few years.

For now ... The Office and popcorn. Then sleep. Tomorrow is a new day.

Oh, one of the best parts of the house? Walk score.

August 15

noreply@blogger.com (Katherine) — Mon, 15 Aug 2016 12:37:00 +0000

Monday morning. It's raining. I woke up in a grumpy mood today ... I want to blame it on the meds that I'm still taking daily (estradiol and progesterone), but I don't know if that's a good excuse. Why can't I just be nice to my children? I've already fussed at them for not eating while at the table (and therefore the cereal gets soggy and they don't eat it), for not taking the dog out, for being too crazy around the dog, for calling each other names, and for not clearing the table. And it's not even 9am.

What do I want to do? Stay home. Alone. Do yoga and sleep on the couch. Drink Sprite. Be lazy with Gertie.

What are we doing today? Bloodwork at 9am. Staying with my mom from 10 until 2 (so there's my laziness part for the win!). Chiro at 3. Eric has a board meeting tonight, so I'll be on my own until late this evening ... Which is fine. Honestly, bedtimes often go better when he's not here. I still miss him, though.

No plans tomorrow. Wednesday we have a vet appointment for Gertie and that night is Back to School Night, and I get to introduce myself to the new parents. Should be fun. No plans Thursday. Friday is Drop By Day when we take all the kids' stuff to their classrooms and get everything ready.

I'm slightly ashamed to admit this, but today I'm getting a pair of shoes in the mail that I've drooled over for weeks. Lilac Tieks. Try as I might, the consumer in me is still very strong. Maybe tomorrow I'll donate some clothes. Ha.

Off to get pricked for the 20th time (or so it seems that way).

August 14

noreply@blogger.com (Katherine) — Mon, 15 Aug 2016 00:05:00 +0000

I was talking with a friend a few weeks ago about this blog - about how it has evolved from a blog about sustainable living to one about how to sustain myself as a mother and as a woman. Such an interesting thing that has happened. I am constantly working on myself, figuring out how to be the best "me" that I can be ... Not necessarily how to be a "better mother" or a "better friend," but I mean finding the me that I am meant to be and embracing her wholeheartedly. Feeling empowered and proud of who I am - not questioning every single thing that I say and do. This work is hard and takes a lot of time, but you have to start somewhere.

For now, after this "life update," this blog is going to be a sort of gratitude journal. I saw a quote yesterday that said something like: "Gratefulness doesn't come from finding happiness; happiness comes from finding gratefulness." How true. I am working on being happy with what I have ... While at the same time, trying to be content with the fact that I'm still working toward other things. People ask me why I want to move. They say, "The grass is always greener!" While that's true, I won't know until I try, will I? The Highlands have appealed for me for over 8 years now, and I'm not going to let that go. Life is too short to spend it where you don't want to be. I do love our house, but it's too big and I want to be in the Highlands. I will not feel sorry for that. Finding a balance between where I want to be (not just physically) and being grateful with what I have is proving difficult ...

Today was far from a perfect day - though who ever has a perfect day? Eric and I were not the most patient parents. Whose dumb idea was it to take the kids to the mall? Haha, that would be me. However, bedtimes almost always go well, and we are super thankful for that.

Gertie will be 15 weeks tomorrow! She is turning into a wonderful dog ... Our real training classes should start the week of September 10, and will last 8 weeks. I need to take some pictures of her! She is all black, though, and she's hard to see. Duncan is wonderful with her. Violet is still scared the dog will "chase her," and wishes that Gertie was "already trained," but all in good time. She is doing very well, considering her experience with the Bassett house puppies last year. She was terrified!

Today I am 8 weeks and 2 days pregnant with surro baby #2. Not a sibling for Gustave - this is for an amazing couple from NYC, a man and woman. I feel nauseated and fat all the time. Still, I remain grateful that my body is awesome and I can grow life. The baby is due in March.

Working hard to make Parent Pillar awesome at school. I am so excited for this upcoming school year. Speaking of school, this Wednesday is Back to School Night, Friday is Drop By Day, and Duncan's first day is next Tuesday. Violet starts next Wednesday.

My mom had her hip replaced last Monday. She is doing well and is, I'm sure, looking forward to things being back to normal. We all hope that her hip pain will be completely gone.

I am super grateful for this awesome keyboard/case that we bought for the iPad today, which allows me to type "stream of consciousness" much more quickly than without one.

Other things to be grateful for today ... Eric (which never changes because he is so wonderful, even when I'm being needy and annoying), our beautiful children, rain, and bug repellent. Relief from the heat, even if it is brief, and this blanket, which is just the perfect weight and texture. The Olympics! One of my happy places, even if it results in us watching more tv in two weeks than we honestly watch in a whole year.

Below are pictures from the summer.

The last one is a meditation that I've saved as the background on my phone. I read it as often as I can.

December 20

noreply@blogger.com (Katherine) — Sun, 20 Dec 2015 12:26:00 +0000

December is always a whirlwind. I don't even know when I last posted.

Our advent activities have been going well. The kids are having fun. Tonight is our school Rollerskating party. I am excited about it and the kids are, too!

We have almost all the parts to get the kids' bathroom functional. Hooray! We are missing faucets, lights and the things to finish the walls. Today ... Tile is going down! Very exciting! Hopefully we will have grout in and a functioning toilet by the end of the week, maybe more. 😊

IronTribe is still going great. I love it. Still love being a vegan, too. It's been ten weeks now!

This Wednesday is our ten year anniversary. Cannot believe it. Not sure what we will do, but the kids are staying at my moms.

Wish I could think of more to write this morning, but hungry children take priority. 😊

Christmastime

noreply@blogger.com (Katherine) — Sun, 06 Dec 2015 12:16:00 +0000

Last weekend we decorated the house. It feels and smells wonderful in here. We have cinnamon ornaments, dried fruit garlands, a real Christmas tree, and I'm baking something almost daily. Today we will be baking gingerbread cookies! I won't be eating any because I'm not making them vegan, but I don't need to eat them anyway. Other advent activities so far have been making bird feeders, making a Christmas tree topper, Christmas madlibs, watching a Christmas movie, and drinking hot chocolate.

The week went by quickly and fairly easily. We stayed under budget on things, especially food. I started on our homemade Christmas gifts. I spent a lot of time at home, walking to get steps for my Fitbit. Irontribe on Monday, Wednesday, Friday and yesterday. Still feeling great.

I'm going to spend some time in the next few weeks thinking about my goals for 2016. My 33rd year. Lots of good stuff to think about!

Productivity

noreply@blogger.com (Katherine) — Sat, 28 Nov 2015 10:46:00 +0000

Awake this morning at 5:09. Maybe I need to take a nap during the day so I can sleep later. I do enjoy being up so I can get things done, but on the days I want to be a little lazy, waking up this early is no fun.

On Wednesday, I went to irontribe (hereafter "ITF"), Eric went to work. The kids and I made Christmas ornaments and went to Target for a few things. We made cinnamon applesauce ornaments and put fruit in the oven to dry. After lunch at home, we put Christmas lights up in Violet's room and redid the ones in Duncan's. Dinner was early at Chipotle.

Thanksgiving morning, Duncan and I went for a long walk as the sun was coming up. 2.5 miles! Back at home, Eric and I prepared stuff while the kids watched the parade. We had a last minute change for thanksgiving location and we all went to Heather's house for our meal. The food itself was good - my first vegan thanksgiving! Eric's first as a vegetarian!

After the meal, a few of us went for a walk. I had 10,000 steps by 2:00, which was great! We arrived home around 4 and snacked on veggies, fruit and leftovers for dinner while watching "The Muppet Show." Eric and I fell asleep on the couch before 9pm.

I was awake at 5 again yesterday morning. Rather than lay in bed, I went to the mall. For one, to walk and get some steps, and second, to look at the stuff on sale at lulu. I ended up getting a few things hs and was home with some panera before 8am. After breakfast, we all went on a walk (because Violet felt left out on Thursday) - over 2 miles again. Back at home, we cleaned up and worked on a budget for paying down our credit card. After lunch, we all went to Costco (which will hopefully be my "once a month trip"). We also bought a Christmas tree! It's iur first real tree and it's beautiful. Once home we put it up and decorated the house, inside and out. We will decorate the tree today since we had to let the branches "relax" first.

And that's it. Plans for today hopefully include lunch with my parents and getting Eric's childhood bunk bed from his parent's house for Duncan. Probably some more decorating, too! I'll take more pictures today!

Preparation

noreply@blogger.com (Katherine) — Tue, 24 Nov 2015 11:26:00 +0000

Awake at 5:12 today. Been scanning Amazon looking at shoes and protein shakes.

Lots to do this week. We are hosting thanksgiving for the second year in a row. Today I have to pick up food from Whole Foods (vegan sides) and also get a few things for Grandparents Day at school. May stop at Trader Joe's, too.

Yesterday morning's workout was invigorating. Some barbell stuff, some push-ups, some ring rows (what you do before you can do pull-ups). It was a partner workout, so we cheered each other on and had a good time. My shoulders and chest are sore today.

I started wearing a Fitbit a few weeks ago and I love it. Having that daily step goal pushes me to walk more. On Sunday night, the kids and I had a dance party while walking around the kitchen table. Good times. 😊

Short post today - not feeling reflective or like I have a lot to say. Today is the kids' last day of school. Tomorrow we will get the house ready and make some ornaments. Last workout of the week will be tomorrow morning, too.

Friends, finished projects, first vegan cookies and vegan shepherds pie

Friends

noreply@blogger.com (Katherine) — Sun, 22 Nov 2015 12:00:00 +0000

We met some old friend at Wild Eggs yesterday morning. We talked and laughed and had a lovely time. Afterward, we did the same at my house for almost three hours. Then I went to lunch with them (without the family) and there was more of the same. These women are amazing. Smart, beautiful, hilarious, and just fun to be around. I have to be sure they are both in our lives until we are old and wrinkly.

We talked about jobs, families, eating and exercise, boyfriends and marriage, old friends, growing up, and about where they live.

For several years I've thought about these friends and how awesome they are, and about their upbringing. I've thought that if my kids can turn out even a little bit like these women then that would be awesome. A few times yesterday the kids argued or misbehaved ... It was a little embarrassing. I know they're only 6 and 4, but embarrassing, nonetheless (though I have to say that they were perfect at breakfast). After one of our little arguments with the kids, I asked my friends, "Did your parents ever yell when you were kids?" Without hesitation, they both shook their heads and said, "No, never."

Sigh. I must work on this. I must conquer my frustration and anger. If there's one part of my life with which I do not feel content, it's that. Being a gentle, compassionate, thoughtful parent. When I get irritated with the kids, I almost act like a kid myself. It's not good and I feel guilty and terrible about it.

If we were perfect at everything, though, life would be boring, so working on myself keeps things exciting. At least I have more time to work on myself now ...that's a relief on its own.

Staying home today. Working on the house. Maybe making some Christmas ornaments. We are going to have a Christmas tree decorated with homemade ornaments this year (and the regular lights, of course). Dried fruit, cinnamon ornaments, pinecones, all that fun stuff.

The kids have been awake since 6. Now they are downstairs getting themselves breakfast. They argue less in the mornings when they're rested, I guess.

On being vegan

noreply@blogger.com (Katherine) — Sat, 21 Nov 2015 12:27:00 +0000

I thought a lot about eating yesterday. About how we eat as a society. When you really think about it, it's truly gross. I used to think vegans were extreme - that I could and would never be one. It seemed crazy to me. Then I watched Cowspiracy (http://www.cowspiracy.com/). It got me half way there. The next night I watched Vegucated (http://www.getvegucated.com/). The next day I decided to try it for one day. That was October 7. After one day, I felt amazing - not just physically. I felt amazing mentally and emotionally, too, because I'd eaten well for myself, the animals, and the environment. I'd never experienced food in that way. Eating not *just* for health and because it's good for my body was a completely new concept for me.

Since then, I've done lots of research and watched YouTube videos, read blogs, etc. The evidence is out there - diets full of animal products are bad for our bodies (my favorite quote: Do you know any diseases caused by eating vegetables?), obviously bad for the animals, and devastating for our planet. Veganism makes sense.

The most interesting part, for me, of eating this way is that it comes easily to me. In the past when I've "eaten well" or "dieted" I always struggled to stay on track because I wanted to "cheat" and I couldn't imagine eating that way for a lifetime. Those kinds of thoughts have not been an issue since transitioning to vegan. I simply don't want to eat animal products. I want my children to have happy and healthy lives after I'm gone, and the best way to contribute to that, in my eyes, is to live a life full of compassion for all living things. It's good for our health, good for the animals and good for the planet.

That being said, I haven't and will not force my children to be vegans. I will let them make their own decisions. I have, however, stopped buying meat and eggs and dairy. I've stopped cooking meat for dinner and I've stopped putting meat (and most) cheese in Duncan's lunches. We've talked about it a few times, but they don't sit down to dinner and say Where's the meat?" They eat what I cook. Now, going out to eat is a little harder, especially with things like pizza or tacos, but this is a transition. We hope to lead by example. I say *we* because Eric is vegetarian - maybe he will be a full vegan one day, but for now I'm pretty happy with his choice.

Physically, I've lost almost ten pounds since becoming vegan. I'm eating well and exercising and I feel fabulous in just about every way. We are spending less money on food, dinner is actually easier to make, and I don't stink like I used to. Life is simpler in nearly every way.

If you want hear and see things from a rather "cut and dry" point of view, take the time to watch this: http://youtu.be/es6U00LMmC4. I realize he sounds little extreme, but I don't see how you can exaggerate this stuff completely. We are so disconnected from what we eat that we probably know a lot of this stuff already, but our conscience ignores it. That's what I did, anyway. My other favorite thing to watch is the videos by "Bite Size Vegan" on YouTube. Learned a ton of stuff from her.

"Once something becomes valued as a culture, it comes to be seen as a necessity." Animal products are not a necessity. We don't NEED them. But when you look around and see them EVERYWHERE, and truly realize how crazy our system is, maybe it will make you think a little harder the next time you eat a meal or buy shoes.

Awake

noreply@blogger.com (Katherine) — Fri, 20 Nov 2015 10:33:00 +0000

One downfall of having 5:30am classes is that my body now thinks I should wake up that early every day. I could get up and do yoga or make breakfast (or write, which I've done now for the second time), but most mornings I would like my body to let me go back to sleep.

Physically, yesterday was a great day. Had over 13,000 steps! Walked at the mall after drop off, went to Costco, and did irontribe at 12:15. Parenting-wise, I need to do better than I did yesterday. I think I was hungry and that's never a good combination in the afternoon - kids and hunger and messes. Trying to relax about the messes is hard for me.

This morning at school is the parent pillar meeting where I will be introduced as the new facilitator. I will be honest with everyone and say that I have no idea what I'm doing - just ideas and a desire to have more community involvement and connection. A school is only as good as its parents (in a way) and I want to get everyone excited.

Fridays are pizza and movie night in our house. We watch the same 5 or 6 movies over and over, which I don't mind, but Violet gets mad at Duncan for not wanting to watch new movies. We will see how tonight goes.

5:32am. Happy Friday!

Overslept

noreply@blogger.com (Katherine) — Thu, 19 Nov 2015 11:30:00 +0000

I've been going to the gym regularly every Monday, Wednesday and Friday for about a month - the class I attend is at 5:30am. My phone alarm is set for 5am on those days. Last night I decided to work out today, too, and neglected to set my alarm, so I woke up at 5:49. Shit. This is a problem because you have to sign up for classes - only 20 people can attend each class. So I likely took someone else's spot and I feel super guilty this morning. It was an honest mistake, though. Now I am awake at 6:15. Sigh. I am going to try to attend the 12:15 class if I can get Eric to pick Violet up at noon.

In other news ...

Music class last night was fabulous. Hooray for harmony.

Eric made a delicious stir fry for dinner with peppers and onions and the kids ate the vegetables. Hooray again.

I have volunteered to head up the parent association at school. We lack organization and I'm excited to see what we can do. Parent involvement and excitement is so important to schools! First meeting is tomorrow, where I'll be introduced as the new "facilitator" of the meetings ... And we will go from there.

Ann and Katy will be in town this weekend. Excited to see them again after seeing them in Montana just in September.

Averaging a peek at Facebook once a day right now. So far, so good.

The kids and I made a 3-D paper snowflake (in "Thanksgiving colors") last night and hung it up in the kitchen. It was fun and looks so cool!

We finally ordered a real composter. It will be here early next week.

I'm hosting Thanksgiving again. Hooray! I ordered some food from whole foods - some vegan sides. Shhhh, don't tell. My in-laws still don't know I'm vegan and I don't plan to engage in that conversation until it's necessary.

Plans that I've worked out for the morning while I've been writing this: walk at the mall after drop off, Costco for garlands to decorate school front porch, then to workout. Today's workout is running, wall balls and pull ups (everything is scaled to your level - I cannot do pull ups).

I've missed writing. It's such a release for me, even if it's not poetry. 😊

Blog name comes full circle

noreply@blogger.com (Katherine) — Tue, 17 Nov 2015 14:33:00 +0000

Life is so strange and wonderful. You think you're happy, things are going along well, and then something happens and you realize that things have to change. Things must change or you will implode.

In September, Eric and I traveled to Utah for convention and to Montana (through Idaho and Wyoming) for our high school friend's wedding. After one day of convention, I felt annoyed. I felt like I wanted to be with my friends. I felt tired - not physically, but emotionally. The second morning of convention, I pushed those feelings aside as we started driving north. We met our friends in West Yellowstone and traveled through the park together. I felt myself relaxing - a feeling I don't think I'd truly felt in years. I felt "away" and obligation-less.

The two days we spent with our friends in Montana were truly eye-opening. Hearing about everyone's lives and reconnecting was needed in ways I didn't realize.

We arrived back home on Monday, September 14. I felt almost numb. Smothered. Anxious and scared. Not ready to re-enter "real life." On Tuesday night, I broke down. We were in bed and I started crying and releasing all the feelings I'd had over the past week. I was tired. I was not happy. I needed a change.

On Wednesday morning, I woke up feeling like a new person. I've never experienced anything like it. I started contacting people, letting them know that I planned to step back from those current commitments. I canceled plans in lieu of mental health. I took the sticker off my car. It felt SO good.

Let me be clear, though - this had absolutely nothing to do with the company. It was completely about the pressure I had put on myself to succeed, to keep myself busy and to make money. The company is amazing and I plan to use oils for the rest of my life ... But I realized that what I WANT, what I truly WANT is a simple life. A peaceful life. A life spent with family and friends, finding happiness and giving to others of *myself* and not of a product.

So that was September.

I joined a gym called Iron Tribe late in the month and started exercising three days a week with a small group of people and wonderful trainers. That part of my life is coming together. Finally.

Those that know me well know that I've struggled for years to find a sustainable way to eat and exercise. I've done weight watchers, paleo, whole30, and I've also not given a shit about what I've eaten (mostly during pregnancy). In October, when Eric was out of town, I watched some documentaries and I did some research ... And I've gone completely vegan. It's been seamless. Easy. SUSTAINABLE.

So I'm loving how I'm eating and exercising now. I'm loving spending time with my family and the evenings are blissfully lazy. I am cooking new things and enjoying taking care of my home. I'm taking a folk singing class one night a week and considering learning the acoustic guitar. I'm volunteering at school quite a bit and loving that. I've deactivated my Facebook. Maybe temporarily, maybe not.

The very last piece of this puzzle was put in place yesterday. Since June, we've been planning on doing a sibling journey for my awesome French daddies and their sweet son. After some delays with the (same) donor, the guys have decided to stop the journey. Most likely permanently. Last night I was unsure how I felt about it. Relief. Disappointment. Happiness. A slew of things. This morning, contentment is the name of the game.

So. As I told Eric yesterday, the world is our oyster. Maybe we will move out west. Maybe we won't. Maybe we will travel. Maybe we will buy some land. Who knows what the future holds? If these past few months have taught me anything, it's that life is full of surprises. You may think you're happy and content, but things happen. Your perspective changes.

The blog name was originally about living eco-consciously and green, and while that's part of the picture, it's now much more about how to sustain *myself* ... And while it may sound cheesy, if I'm not happy, then no one in our home is happy. Sustainable mommy just got real, and I couldn't be happier.

July 16

noreply@blogger.com (Katherine) — Tue, 16 Jul 2013 11:46:00 +0000

We had a pretty good Sunday. After Eric and Duncan went Lowe's, we went to lunch at Moe's (ha) and then dropped the kids off with my mom. Eric and I went to Homearama, which is always fun. The houses are way over the top when it comes to decorations, but some of them were really nice, and we had a good time. On the way back home we had a mint chocolate chip milkshake from Graeter's. Delicious. After we picked up the kids, we had breakfast for dinner back at home.

Bedtimes have been fairly tough the past few weeks. Violet is a mess if one thing goes wrong (e.g. if she doesn't get the wipes herself), and Duncan is normally fine, but this particular night he wanted to play ball, which is not a good bedtime activity. Normally we just read, talk, or sing songs. So he threw a fit for a good 30 minutes and told us he was never going to sleep. Of course he did, but he didn't like it!

After the kids were in bed, Eric and I worked outside - he on the french drain he's creating in the front garden bed, and I worked on cutting down the giant bushes in front of the porch. They are huge bushes and probably original to the house, but they are overgrown and couldn't be salvaged. The front of the house looks so much better with the bushes gone! I am hoping to plant some boxwoods and hydrangeas there.

Yesterday was NOT a good day. I tried to keep a positive attitude, but the day was just awful. Neither kid would listen, and they laughed at me when I was serious. Duncan went down for a nap at 11:45, and Violet at 12:30. Duncan slept until after 3, and so did Violet. Dinner was nice - we had pork, kale, and potato soup from the crockpot, and cornbread. After dinner, I went to the grocery with Duncan, which was nice. When we got home, I walked to my mom's house, which is the first time I've done that. I want to get some exercise every day. The walk was nice.

Today ... hoping for a better day. I will be calmer. I will be more mindful. I will be more attentive to my children. Though I still have no idea what we are going to do ... supposed to be really hot and I don't have any desire to go anywhere.

July 13

noreply@blogger.com (Katherine) — Sun, 14 Jul 2013 02:37:00 +0000

What a lovely weekend so far.

Yesterday, the kids and I stayed home and our good friends came over until lunchtime. During naps, I rested, too, and when we all woke up, I started the pizza dough. My parents have been coming over on Friday nights for pizza - I've said it and thought it a hundred times at least, but I'm so thankful that we are moved. :)

I received some new running shoes in the mail yesterday - I will have to post a picture because they are the prettiest shoes I've ever had! I bet you'll never guess what color they are, haha! I also received some books in the mail that I'd ordered on Thursday. One is about meditations for women, and the other is about mindful eating. I'm looking forward to diving into them. After the kids went to bed, we watched "Crazy. Stupid. Love." I loved it! For those that like Ryan Gosling, it's definitely a good one. Emma Stone and Steve Carell are also in it.

We were blessed with an 8:30am wake up time this morning. It was fabulous. We put Violet's "big girl bed" together, dressed ourselves, and headed out the the farmer's market with our breakfast in snack bags. After the market (I bought some ears of corn, a quart of blueberries, some olive oil soap, and kettle corn) we had lunch at Mark's, then headed home to pick up Violet's sleeping gear (baby, blanket, etc.) and went to my mom's. We put the kids down and then came back home after Eric went to help out his grandma. We got all set up for our Skype call with our intended parents - in France! I was super nervous, but the call went well. I think that email may be the best way for us to communicate right now, but it was still nice to meet M and D face-to-face, ask them some questions, and learn more about them. We already exchanged an email this evening, and I sent them some updated pictures.

After our call, I picked up the kids and we had leftovers for dinner. The kids helped Eric outside after dinner while I did the dishes. Tonight we attempted the bed for Violet, but after an hour of calling for mommy or daddy every 5 or 10 minutes, we gave up and put her back in the crib (they are both in her room right now). Eric is working hard on putting a drain in the front garden bed to keep water from leaking into the basement ... it's rough work!

Tomorrow, we are planning on heading to Homearama while the kids nap. Super excited to get ideas. :)

July 11

noreply@blogger.com (Katherine) — Thu, 11 Jul 2013 20:14:00 +0000

Life update.

We moved at the end of May and love our new home. I am enjoying creating a home for my family and making it a warm and comfortable place for us to grow old(er) together.

Since Violet is no longer nursing, we are pursuing gestational surrogacy once more. Things are moving quickly right now, but they'll slow down in the next few weeks. Eric had a phone screening on July 3, and I took the MMPI test on Tuesday. On Tuesday evening, we received a potential Intended Parent Profile. After reviewing the profile (and the couple reviewed ours), we let our coordinator know that they are amazing, and this Saturday we are having a Skype call. The couple lives in France! Super excited. A little nervous about coming up with things to talk about, but I'm sure things will be fine.

The kids are really good ... we spend a lot of time outside, and the kids love the new backyard. Eric is helping Jason out with something at his house tonight, so the kids and I are heading to El Nopal. Hopefully it's uneventful. :)

doTERRA is slow for me right now. I'm still using it, loving it, and I share when I can, but I'm not posting daily about it on Facebook right now. It truly is one of those "you get out of it what you put in" sorts of things. I've been super frustrated with how some people perceive me as either 1) lying about how good the product really is, or that it doesn't work, or 2) think I'm just trying to sell them something so I can make money. Neither of them are true, and I'm working hard on showing people that I have good intentions and that I genuinely care. I just want to help people. So many people complain or vent on Facebook about their sick kids, their headaches, their back pains, etc. (I can't deny that Facebook is a good arena to post those kinds of things - to get suggestions, empathy, etc.) I don't mention oils to everyone, but once in a while I will send a message to someone and suggest they try an oil. I offer to send them a free sample even, but the majority of the time I get no response. Sigh. I'm not even allowed to suggest oils on some forums simply because I "sell" something.

I am super excited to share about my surrogacy journey while I use doTERRA, though!

C'est la vie. There are lots of people out there who do care and that want my help, and people who need and want doTERRA will find a way to get it, whether it's from me or not.

But life is awesome and I'm loving it, despite my small, first-world frustrations. I'll just keep on keepin' on with a smile on my face. :)

April 2

noreply@blogger.com (Katherine) — Tue, 02 Apr 2013 19:46:00 +0000

Well, it's finally here. The time I've been waiting for since what seems like years ... though I think it's really only two or three years. We are MOVING! Cameron will be here at 4:00 to take pictures and officially list the house. We have been working hard to get the house ready - de-cluttering, cleaning, fixing a few things. Eric fixed some of the deck over the weekend, and right now he's out there re-staining it. We've filled in nail holes, touched-up paint in almost every room and the kitchen cabinets, and we're taking loads of stuff to my mom and dad's almost daily. Last Wednesday we had an agent caravan, and over 20 agents walked through the house.

Cameron is extremely optimistic that the house will sell very quickly. We share his enthusiasm, but it's limited because of what happened in 2009. The market was a lot different then, though. Today, inventory is low and houses are getting snatched up quickly. I look at Zillow, realtor.com, and Trulia daily to see what houses have just gone on the market. I found one this morning while I was still in bed, looking at my phone. It went on the market yesterday. Cameron called to get us a showing, and it already has an offer - after ONE day. The offer hasn't been accepted yet, and while I don't think we have much chance of getting it, I think we're still going to make an offer. It's in Brownsboro Farms here. Such an awesome house - we walked through it with Cameron, my mom, and the kids this morning. Could definitely picture ourselves living there for a long time. Still, I'm certain that other houses like it will come on the market soon, especially since it's getting warmer and this is when people want to sell.

We shall see. For now, we're concentrating on getting a contract on ours. Cross your fingers!

On an unrelated note ... six months from today I'll be at convention in Salt Lake City with Eric, celebrating my 30th birthday with 15,000 of my closest friends!

January 2

noreply@blogger.com (Katherine) — Thu, 03 Jan 2013 00:57:00 +0000

I was not looking forward to today ... Eric's first day back to work. Duncan, however, doesn't start school until tomorrow, so we were home today. I could have drug the kids out into the cold to somewhere like Joann's for the mall, where there would undoubtedly be screaming by Violet because she's unhappy to remain in the same place (stroller, Ergo, etc.) for more than 2 minutes, and then Duncan would beg to eat lunch at "Chick-a-fay." So I decided to brave the day at home, and it wasn't so bad.

We started off the morning by getting some chili going on the crockpot while the kids munched on toast and dry cereal (muy healthy!). We read books, played in the basement, slid down the curvyboard, cleaned up a lot, and finally it was lunchtime. After some more random stuff to eat for lunch, it was naptime.

I was particularly productive during naps today: updated website a little, created Facebook events for January classes, updated my income/expense file, tried to figure out my quarterly tax form (again), wrote some emails, and ... I think that's it.

I was supposed to have a class tonight, but she called to cancel because everyone who was planning on coming had something come up. So, I need to be more diligent with handing out the invites for my classes - I haven't really used them until now, but it's obvious that I need to!

Eric is back home with Graeter's, so it's time to lounge. Wahoo!

January 1

noreply@blogger.com (Katherine) — Wed, 02 Jan 2013 04:01:00 +0000

Happy New Year!

2013 is going to be an awesome year - lots of things to look forward to, some amazing and attainable goals on the horizon, and my 30th birthday bash in Salt Lake City! Haha. At the doTERRA Convention, I mean. We'll be getting the house ready to put on the market in the next few months, and hopefully list it for real in early summer.

Thanksgiving and Christmas were great, even though we didn't get to see Seth and Jeanine. :o( Violet and I both had a stomach bug over Thanksgiving, and then the same thing went through all of us during Christmas break ... we relied heavily on our oils the past few months! We've really enjoyed Eric being home for the majority of the past two weeks, though, and we're all sad that he has to go back to work tomorrow. Back to routine is good, though. We've watched entirely too much tv the past few weeks!

Business is going so well. I'm in the beginning steps of figuring out how to transition to just doing doTERRA and training other people to do encapsulation. I have 7 classes in January and I'm so pumped! I LOVE what I do! I met with a business mentor last week and he was full of good ideas.

Last night I went downstairs with the kids and played through my old choir music on the piano while they played on the floor ... a trip down memory lane. Then, when Eric came down and I finished playing the piano, we turned on the stereo and Ben Folds Live was on, so we blasted that and everyone danced. It was a perfect way to end the year as a family. After the kids went to bed, we had Chinese takeout and watched Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, followed by the first part of the Deathly Hallows - first time we've seen them. Trying to figure out now how to get Part 2 since it's not available on the Kindle (my awesome Christmas present!).

This morning, we did some more stuff in the basement and I condensed 4 boxes of old sentimental stuff into 1. Hooray! We also took down all the Christmas stuff - boo hoo! Leftovers for both lunch and dinner, a quick trip to the grocery with Duncan, and the entire evening spent on the couch ... a good end to a mostly awesome vacation.

I have to admit that I'm pretty excited about turning 30 - for lots of reasons. I'm not dreading getting older at all. Life is so good ... I wouldn't change a thing!

October 22

noreply@blogger.com (Katherine) — Mon, 22 Oct 2012 19:46:00 +0000

October has been so busy.

My 29th birthday came and went without much fuss. It was a good day. I got a haircut, and we had Moby Dick and cake and ice cream.

October 5th, St. James with mom and Chrissy. One of my favorite traditions. I bought 2 things and neither of them were for me. Chrissy and I spent that evening at a bar called "Tin Roof," talking with some high school classmates and listening to Bill and Aaron sing.

October 6th, family-oriented class picnic in the morning. It started out chilly, but warmed up and we had fun! I had to leave early to help decorate for the reunion. Finally left there around 3, rested for 10 minutes, showered and got ready for the reunion. HAD A BALL. We had many more people show up and pay at the door, and no one even sat down on the couches or danced - everyone talked and caught up and it was fabulous. Several people even said, "Are we doing a 15 year reunion?!" So, patting ourselves on the back for the reunion since the committee did a great job. AND we have money left for the next reunion, which is fabulous.

October 7th - celebrated birthdays with the in-laws. Good times.

October 13th - Doulapalooza 10-2 ... made a lot of good contacts, talked to people, felt confident, gave out lots of business cards. Ashley's baby shower at 2. Had a good time, but had to bite my tongue several times. Neighborhood fall party at 4. Slow start, but had a good time.

October 15th - Started 1st placenta of the week and went to the grocery

October 16th - music class, finished 1st placenta of the week

October 17th - started 2nd placenta of the week

October 18th - finished 2nd placenta of the week, oils class at Amazing Green Planet

October 20th - encapsulation info session at a natural parenting store in Elizabethtown. Great class, even though we spent most of the time talking about oils. :o) ... also started 3rd placenta of the week

October 21st - finished 3rd placenta of the week

TODAY ... speaking to a childbirth class this evening, and will most likely hear from the 4th mama of the week, who went into the hospital to be induced last night.

Kids are doing great. Duncan was unusually pleasant this morning. Such a great helper when he's in a good mood. Violet is walking all over the place, and likes to hit things when she's mad. Always a good sign of things to come. :o)

Pretty happy these days. I have 6 oil classes scheduled between now and the end of November, along with an info session at Mama's Hip.

Tonight for dinner: chili and cornbread ... even though it's 80. Oops. It was cold yesterday!

Dear William

noreply@blogger.com (Katherine) — Wed, 05 Sep 2012 18:34:00 +0000

So many memories running through my head. The first one, enjoying an NBA Spurs game with you in San Antonio on our sophomore choir trip. I was in a bad place then, hung up on an English boy, and you were the first boy who took my crazy mind off of him. We got along so well. We went to homecoming together junior year, as friends. Navy blue sparkles from my dress were all over Joel's car. The next day, I visited you at work (since it was just across the parking lot from where I worked at Baskin Robbins) and I guess that scared you off. From that point on, you knew I had a crush on you ... I longed to be your girlfriend. The sight and sound of your loud, white Acura Integra speeding by made my heart race. Senior year, we had 4 classes together - Physics, Calculus, Choir, and German. I was pretty much your assignment book the entire year. I wanted you to like me, so I helped you when you hadn't done your homework, or didn't know what we were supposed to do. You always had your chapstick with you. You liked to dress up and look nice at school. You told me that you never really sang in choir, and that you couldn't sing.

At the end of senior year, Eric came along, and our relationship improved. We became real friends for the first time. We saw each other during summers, and you came to my wedding.

The last time we saw each other was Christmas of 2011. You came over to my house, and Marianne and Chad were there, too. We had lasagna and sat around and talked. I hugged you when you left and you drove off in your truck.

You messaged me randomly on Facebook on August 17th. "hey home slice." We talked about the reunion and about you coming home soon. We said we'd get together while you were home.

I wrote on your wall last week about getting your information to me for the reunion, and you wrote back to me at 6:52 on September 2nd.

You crashed your motorcycle and died at 8:00 the same day, right at the entrance to the neighborhood where my parents live, where I lived during high school ... less than a mile from Ballard.

I'm heartbroken, and I'm trying to grasp the irony of it all. You traveled the world, and yet you died 2 miles from home ... and only one day after arriving home from serving 2 years in Saudi Arabia.

I am very much in love with Eric, and wouldn't trade him for anything in the world ... but even after he was in my life, I still got butterflies every single time I saw you. I don't know why.

You were special to me, William Davis, and I will think of you every day for the rest of my life. I will miss you. Every time I see a motorcycle, every time it rains, every time I drive to my parent's house, every time I drive by Ballard, every time I drive by your neighborhood, and every time I see an Acura, I will think of you. Even though we had our issues, you were such an awesome guy. I can't believe you're gone.

Rest in Peace, Billy D.

August 22

noreply@blogger.com (Katherine) — Wed, 22 Aug 2012 19:21:00 +0000

Not pregnant. Thankful. Relieved. Confident in our decision that this is what our family is going to look like. Slightly saddened that I'll (most likely) never be pregnant again and never give birth again, but I've been around long enough to learn that I should never say never.

Violet is starting to walk more ... slowly, and only if I stand her up. It's so dang cute.

Had an oil class on Monday night that went so well. I am getting the hang of this and looking forward to having more classes!

So I have this thing on my nose. I look like a witch. If I am ever tempted to pierce anything again, someone please slap me repeatedly. I am so self conscious and I don't really want to leave the house until I can figure out how to get this thing to go away. For now, treating with oils (and they're definitely doing something) and waiting on a call back from the doctor for advice or suggestions.

Duncan had his first dentist appointment yesterday. He did perfectly!

This morning was his first day of school at Waldorf, and he did almost perfectly there, too. I feel like he was really well prepared for me to leave him since we did Harvey Browne last year, and he knows Ms. Haeja and the environment already. He cried a little bit when I left, but I'm pretty sure that's because the little girl that arrived just before we did was having a full-blown scream fest, banging at the door, kicking, yelling for mommy. When I went back to pick Duncan up at noon, she was standing with her face against the fence, still screaming. Poor thing. Her mom is an assistant in one of the kindergartens, so I'm almost positive she could probably hear her daughter screaming from the other side of campus. I wonder if they will try again tomorrow? Regardless, Ms. Haeja said that Duncan had a good day, and when I asked him before nap if he wanted to go back, he smiled and said yes.

Last night, I mowed the grass and we worked on consignment sale stuff. Drop-off is Saturday, and I'm also working a shift that afternoon. The big day (where I get to go wait in line and feel like I kid on Christmas until they let us in and I get wardrobes for both kids for the next 6 months for practically nothing since we make as much as we buy) is on Monday. SO EXCITED!

August 17

noreply@blogger.com (Katherine) — Fri, 17 Aug 2012 18:26:00 +0000

I don't like who I am these days.

I've grown apart from some friends and I miss them terribly. Can I blame it on the kids? I shouldn't. I only blame myself for being lazy.

I enjoy spending time with the friends I do have now, but I don't feel close to them at all. Is it me? Do I subconsciously keep people "out" of my life? I miss having close friends (in town) that I can call for anything.

I am way too judgmental and I don't want to be. How do I fix this?

I know how to eat right, but I can't make myself do it. I feel like such a hypocrite.

I think I might be pregnant. Eric's vasectomy is scheduled for the 28th. Even though this baby would not be planned, I'm still going to be devastated if it turns out I'm not pregnant. As a result of all this, I'm an emotional wreck and something needs to give. Quickly.

Duncan starts school on Wednesday! He makes funny faces a lot and tells me I'm awful almost daily. Violet whines 75% of the day, and does not stop when I pick her up.

The only saving grace is that it's Friday.

August 8

noreply@blogger.com (Katherine) — Wed, 08 Aug 2012 20:03:00 +0000

The week started out rough, but is a lot better!

Eric got up early to catch his flight on Monday morning and left for the airport. Right after he left, I got up to use the bathroom and my back was not any better. It almost seemed worse, and I was terrified of being alone with the kids. I went in to try and pick up Violet, but could not lean over. I called Eric sobbing and he turned around and came home. I still feel guilty that he had to miss his trip, but I don't know what I would have done without him here.

I rested most of Monday, and felt a lot better on Tuesday. I'm almost 100% today and Eric went back to work this morning. We enjoyed a visit from Duncan's teacher this morning, just so he can get used to her and won't be distraught when he gets to school and thinks I'm leaving him with a stranger. He warmed up to her quickly, especially since we've met her at the park a few times with other kids from his class. I know he's going to love it. :o)

Violet must be going through a growth spurt or something. She's been sleeping through the night (for which I am thankful, since my back issues made middle-of-the-night feedings rough) ... yesterday morning she didn't get up until almost 9! Took a good nap, but fought going to bed last night like crazy! I don't think she really settled down until 8:30 or so. She was up this morning before 8, which is normal, but was ready for nap by noon. It's 4:00 now and she's just starting to kick in her bed. That's a 4 hour nap!!! Interested to see how bedtime goes. I have a meeting at Waldorf tonight at 6 ("new parent orientation" - though this is our 3rd year of parent-child; I guess it's really for students who are going to be there more than one day a week), so Eric will be on his own until I get back.

Spaghetti for the rest of the family tonight. I'll probably make a smoothie and take it with me. Yummy!

I've just started reading a book called Buddhism for Mothers: A Calm Approach to Caring for Yourself and Your Children. I'm not necessarily looking for a spiritual awakening or anything, but the title speaks to me! We'll see. I'm only a few pages in.

August 5

noreply@blogger.com (Katherine) — Mon, 06 Aug 2012 02:53:00 +0000

Last week was fabulous. Productive around the house, the hole in the ceiling is fixed after almost 16 months, and the Olympics are on.

This week, however, may be a little rough. I always try to be optimistic, but things aren't really in my favor right now. I'll be a solo mama all week, and yesterday morning I did something to my back. Don't know what, but I feel like an old woman. I've spent most of today on the couch - I couldn't even lift Violet or change a diaper today. Hoping that tomorrow morning my back is much better! Oh, and I really am on my own for much of the week since a lot of demo is happening at my mom and dad's this week. Exciting stuff! But we'll have to nap here this week because of the noise. I'm a big girl. I'll deal with it. ;o)

Frustrated with myself about eating. I was doing so well, and then I just ... wasn't. 10 lousy pounds. That's it. Why is it so hard?

Duncan is testing us these days. I ordered a book on buddhism and motherhood. It got good reviews, and I miss reading. I want to continually try to be a better mama.

Monday: music class
Tuesday: playgroup at Hogan's Fountain
Wednesday: home visit with Duncan's teacher in the morning, and new parent orientation at Waldorf in the evening
Thursday: Graeter's factory tour with a playgroup
Friday: Chiropractor

Other plans for the week include making some more almond milk, canning some green beans, and hopefully attempting a few crafty things for around the house. I won't be painting any rooms this time, though!

Is it Friday yet? :o(