Guest post by Vinay Kumar. Posted with permission:

Speaking from personal experience, it seems we introverts are frequently misunderstood and overlooked.  As an introvert, I live in my head a lot. I don’t smile much and I am quiet by nature. At meetings I sit back, listen to various views, and only then do I speak.

In the process, I have had people ask me if I was OK, if everything was alright, if I was upset, and so on. Others have thought, because I don’t jump into conversations forcefully or frequently, that I am not engaged, or I lack leadership qualities.  Other times I have been viewed as uncaring, distant, too serious, angry, pensive, detached, aloof, fussy, inflexible, picky, pessimistic, hesitant, inflexible…to name just a few of the words I can find to describe how my introvert nature has been interpreted.

Yet from my perspective, I am listening at a deep level, being thorough, diplomatic, precise, “anchor of reality”, working towards making good decisions, so everyone benefits.

Therefore, I can’t help but wonder, in today’s 100-mph extroverted culture, to what degree introverts are overlooked and misunderstood?

I’d love your comments below!

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Vinay Kumar is senior director with Marketing General, Alexandria, Virginia. He blogs at http://vinaykumarcoach.blogspot.com. Email: vkumar@marketinggeneral.com

Huh?

Bear with me.

I spoke last week at a Young Professional Leadership Group meeting about the importance of SELF leadership, which is especially foundational at the intersection of leadership and business development.

You know how you get in a zone when you’re speaking, and you say something unplanned, unscripted, and unrehearsed — and it makes an impact?  Well, I had one of those moments with this group.

We were talking about leadership and guiding others. I was extolling the virtues of having permission and then letting people know what you like and how you like it, asking for what you like, etc. and out of my mouth I hear the words, “It’s like sex”.

Well, this meeting was at 7am and not only did that comment wake everyone up, but it caused me to blush.  Which ended up creating an openness and intimacy in the group dialogue, much to my surprise. Authenticity, baby!

Anyway, I got the following e-mail comment from one of the participants later that day: “Have you read the book “Fascinate” by Sally Hogshead?  If not, I think you will find it very beneficial with your work.  Whether you knew it or not, you used the lust trigger in a very effective manner this morning.”

I did not know that! I thought it was an embarrassing blunder!  Lust trigger.  Who knew?

Here’s what Amazon says about the book:

“What triggers fascination, and how do companies, people, and ideas put those triggers to use?

Why are you captivated by some people but not by others? Why do you recall some brands yet forget the rest? In a distracted, overcrowded world, how do certain leaders, friends, and family members convince you to change your behavior? Fascination: the most powerful way to influence decision making. It’s more persuasive than marketing, advertising, or any other form of communication. And it all starts with seven universal triggers: lust, mystique, alarm, prestige, power, vice, and trust.

Fascination plays a role in every type of decision making, from the brands you choose to the songs you remember, from the person you marry to the employees you hire. And by activating the right triggers, you can make anything become fascinating.

To explore and explain fascination’s irresistible influence, Sally Hogshead looks beyond marketing, delving into behavioral and social studies, historical precedents, neurobiology and evolutionary anthropology, as well as conducting in-depth interviews and a national study of a thousand consumers, to emerge with deeply rooted patterns for why, and how, we become captivated.”

Of course, I bought the book!

Elizabeth Gilbert, the creative superstar behind Eat, Pray, Love, gives a great 19-minute talk at TED about the importance of showing up, which is (of course) one of the key elements of successful leadership. She also talks about access to creativity and the burdens and pressures artists face. Her talk is smart, funny, engaging, and moving – check it out:

According to Eric Schmidt, CEO of Google, “everyone needs a coach” and “The one thing people are never good at … is seeing themselves as others see them.”  Do you agree?  Check out this 40 second video clip and comment below!

The following response is excerpted from a longer interview.  I was asked by HRD Press the following question:

What is the biggest priority shift that people should make, in order to become better at closing deals and completing projects?

As discussed in Seal the Deal, it’s really all about numbers.  The biggest shift to make, particularly while we are on the road to economic recovery, is a return to basics.  Focus on your core business, your core competencies, the best use of your expertise and skillset and team, and increase your outreach significantly.  I can’t stress enough that it’s a numbers game.  Not just for creating opportunities and keeping your pipeline filled, but for protecting yourself emotionally as well.  If you are pursuing 3 great leads, you have time to worry, fret, second-guess, and self-doubt.  If you are pursuing 150 leads, you only have time to focus on where you are in the process with each one and how to advance the ball to the next stage of the game. With 3 leads, when you lose one it hurts.  With 150 leads, when you lose one it’s no big deal, you’re already onto the next ones.

Another major priority shift to make is around fear and risk.  In challenging times, fear becomes enormous compared to normal levels, and it’s contagious.  We hear messages of fear from colleagues, family members, the media, and others, and it has its impact.  It gets under your skin in a way that positive psychology isn’t sufficient to eradicate. The places where we place our attention and focus are the things that expand.  If we focus on fear and doubt, we will find evidence to support that that is true and real.  This thinking is detrimental to your ability to seal the deal. Even if you spend time resisting fear, you are still focusing on it, and that which we resist persists.  Stop.  Take a moment each day to focus on what you are grateful for and what makes you feel resilient. Spend time each day breathing and smiling and cultivating a feeling of gratitude and joy – even if only for a few moments each day.  This will go a long way to shifting the prevalence and control of fear that’s limiting your success.

Continuation of interview conducted by HRD Press.

I really like the “lessons learned” piece in your book.  Can you talk about why that is so critical?

This piece is uber-critical.  Now more than ever customer service is paramount.  The Lessons Learned meetings allow you to check in with your client at various stages of an engagement or project to learn how well served they feel.  It also allows you to course-correct if there is anyplace that your products or services are lacking.  You get the opportunity to let your client know what they can do differently to support you serving them better, and it is the easiest business development opportunity ever.  It’s as simple as asking about what’s next for them and how you might be able to support their next steps.

Finally, tell us about your current projects, what is happening on your blog and what you focusing on these days.

Oh, thank you for asking about this!  Currently I’m working on several projects to enhance the executive coaching community as part of my commitment to have a profound impact on business leadership worldwide. To that end, we’ve recently launched (numbered descriptions below) the Leading Coaches’ Center (1) and the Leading Coaches’ Clubhouse (2), the Library of Professional Coaching (3), and The Coaches’ Store (4) on my site.  My blog, Innovative Influence (5), continues to be the place where I share trends and insights at the intersection of leadership, coaching, and business development.  Below you can find a bit more about each one, and please do come visit!

1) is the only place for the world’s top executive and business coaches to gather online to connect, collaborate, learn and grow as leaders. It’s a free online community for seasoned executive coaches and leadership development experts.

2) is an exclusive membership site for the best executive coaches to come together to take their business and their clients to the next level through tools such as the Leading Coaches’ Academy, the Secrets of the Champions interviews, and incredible marketing, business, and coaching tools that have been vetted and gathered for the seasoned leading coach.

3) is a high caliber, vetted, peer-reviewed collection of the best research, articles, and materials about executive coaching presented in an easily searchable and downloadable format online.

4) The Coaches’ Store has downloadable content you can purchase such as an e-book about networking in the age of social media, a four-hour audio training on the core concepts from Seal the Deal that you can pop into your ipod and learn on the go, and a Twitter tutorial program that includes a 1-hour audio training and a companion ebook to get you started on Twitter fast.

5) is where you’ll find the blog, Innovative Influence.  You’ll also find tons of free resources for you in the form of videos, podcasts, and articles that you can access anytime to improve your ability to seal the deal.

The following response is excerpted from a longer interview.  I was asked by HRD Press the following question:

How are some of the concepts that you talk about in your book, Seal the Deal applicable (or how have they changed) in the recent economy?

The core concepts of the “critical trinity” of Networking, Marketing and Sales have not changed at all, in fact they are more reinforced in today’s economy than when I wrote the book.  It is still critical to integrate activity across all three sectors simultaneously to get the quickest result for your business development time and money.  Think of it as a 3-legged stool.  You need all three legs to balance the stool.

Given the explosion of social media and other web 2.0 advancements combined with the economic challenges we face today, the professional services provider can do much more  networking and marketing with farther reach for less cost than ever before.  For example, prior to the popularity of social networking (LinkedIn, Twitter, and Facebook primarily), networking opportunities were limited in scope and scale to your personal connections and your ability to attend relevant meetings.  Now, especially with Twitter, I can connect day or night from the comfort of my home and office with people all over the world in incredible numbers.  If I look at my connections on the main 3 social networks mentioned above, I have exposure to over 10,000 people.  When before now could we go anywhere that would allow us the potential to connect with that many folks at once?  Not to mention that access is immediate (time savings) and free (cost savings).

When you look at branding and defining your brand, again social media is a powerful tool for that as well.  I often have people asking me how to use social media for sales or they’ll ask how much money you can make on social media.  If you remember the concepts in Seal the Deal about mindsets, you’ll realize that social networks are completely aligned with the mindsets of networking and marketing, which are tools to stimulate opportunities to create sales conversations.  In and of themselves, however, social networks are not supposed to be sales tools, rather a conduit to your sales system.

Do you know UberCoach Michael Bungay Stanier?  He’s a genius. And fun.  And humble. And super creative. His latest book,

Do More Great Work: Stop the busywork and start the work that matters – will be released on Monday, February 22nd.  THAT’S SOON! => http://bit.ly/7yHSMT

It’s got an additional five new ‘maps’ from the first edition, together with original material from the likes of Seth Godin, Dave Ulrich, Chris Guillebeau and more.

Check out this cool video about it…

The good news is that you can pre-order your copy now and make the most of the pre-publication sale price. What’s already a good price – $10.95 – is currently a ridiculously good price, unless they’ve changed it again: $8.60 on Amazon.com.

For less than nine bucks you’ll get
- 15 practical exercises on how to find, start and sustain your Great Work
- Exclusive new content from seven big thinke rs: Seth Godin (possibly best blogger in the world), Chris Guillebeau (champion for the art of nonconformity), Michael Port (leader of the Think Big Revolution), Dave Ulrich (HRguru), Tim Hurson (innovation whiz), Leo Babauta (Zen Habits) and Penelope Trunk (leader of Brazen Careerist).

And:
- Four practical coaching tips
- Access to downloads and other tools to help you do more Great Work on the new Do More Great Work website.

You’ll find it’s a fun, fast, practical read with tools and insights you can use right away.

($8.60. Even $10.95.  I reckon in the big scheme of things that’s a real bargain.)

PLUS you’ll get cool bonus gifts:  http://www.domoregreatwork.com/special-offers/

Here’s how to pick up your very own Do More Great Work Pre-Launch Combo Bonus Extravaganza.

Here’s the simple three step process.

1. Buy a book from your favorite online store

2. Send your receipt to becourageous@domoregreatwork.com

3. Michael will send you his eBook Be Courageous for free. It’s got six practical exercises and three worksheets on how to recapture your mojo when you lose it (and we all lose it from time to time). Add that to the 15 exercises in DMGW and guest contributions from people like Seth Godin and Chris Guillebeau, and you’re on to something good.

Currently DMGW is less than $9 on Amazon.com. Michael sells the ebook for $24.95. So you can see how great the Do More Great Work Pre-Launch Combo Bonus Extravaganza really is.

Well, we got a lot of snow here in Maryland.  Historical, record-breaking amounts of it, in fact.  We had 3 blizzards in 2 months, the last two just 3 days apart.   Saturday’s (blizzard #2) dumped 33 inches on us, and then Tuesday’s dumped another 15 inches.  Yeah, we don’t exactly have the infrastructure to handle that much snow around here. It’s not like we are Denver, or Boston.  We’re DC for heaven’s sake!

I couldn’t resist sharing some of the humorous images that have popped up during the “snowmageddon” of 2010, just so you can get a sense of the mood around here as we dig out…

Guest Post provided by Leading Coach Michael Bungay Stanier

You’re FABulous

You’re a senior coach, wise and subtle, well trained and with many hours of coaching conversations under your belt.

It’s both a rewarding and comfortable place to be, and we do good in the world. (I’m taking the liberty to count myself as one of your peers.)

And I suspect you don’t need me to stroke your ego. We get our share of that already.

Hence the title of this post – I think the interesting place is when we can stir things up a little and ‘pop the trunk’ to see what’s really …

Read the rest of the post here…