I should be in bed now - I've had a busy day modelling lingerie - but my boyfriend is out and I cannot get to sleep. I tried out my trusty Jack Rabbit, but I still feel wide awake! Rats! I have to be up at 6am! And my Rabbit, although still working very well, could do with a little friend, I think.

Well, that link took me on to another site for (would you believe this?) Recycling Your Sex Toys!  I dunno. Not sure I like that idea, but I do see their point, especially if you are keen on saving the environment (or if you have a wacky sense of humour).

But I think that I would rather bury my Rabbit when his time comes. After all, just lately he is becoming quite a companion, just like this girl's clitoral pump was to her:

I had a call this afternoon from the director of the porn shoot I did a little while ago - you know, the one where I refused to swallow and nearly messed the shoot up (is that a pun? lol!).  Anyway, he had said he would be in touch to give me more work, but I hadn't been holding my breath.  Then out of the blue he rang.

The strange thing is, he didn't want to talk about me making another film for him.  He said it would be nice if we met up for a drink soon.

Now I'm no mug when it comes to fellas.  An invitation for a drink could be just his excuse to get into my panties.  But there again, I could do with some more film work.  It's difficult.  I didn't want to push too much by asking lots of questions and perhaps ruin my chances for work, but I did say I would have to check my diary, to find a day when I wasn't going out anywhere with my boyfriend, and I hope he took the hint from that.

But fellas don't always take the hint, do they?

So I've arranged to meet him for a lunchtime drink on Tuesday. I'm in London doing some modelling work that afternoon, so I won't be able to stay too long.  And I'll see what comes of that, so to speak!  But I'm still a little curious about what to expect.

Never mind, must get off the computer and go and cuddle my nice warm man now.  See ya!

After talking here about my first love and how a few old feelings for him have been stirred up, I felt really guilty.  I hope my boyfriend hasn't read that entry.  I don't want to hurt him.  I thought about deleting it, but this blog is supposed to be about me and my sex life, and my first love was definitely a large influence on that.  So I left it there, but the whole episode had left me feeling really confused.

I was feeling that way a couple of hours after posting that entry when my boyfriend came in.  He cuddled me straight away and things got going and we had the most amazing sex!

He laid me on the bed and covered me in a lovely smelling oil and rubbed it all over me, working down from my shoulders to my waist and up from my feet to the tops of my thighs.  It was so nice and warm.  It felt great!

And then he began to massage the oil into my buttocks, and as he did it he pushed harder, so that my pussy was rubbing hard on the bed.  And then he turned me over and gently and slowly massaged my boobs.  Was my pussy  throbbing!  And he slowly worked down to my waist and gently rubbed my tummy.  By that time I was desperate!

He moved in and nuzzled my pubes and slowly licked inside my thighs, flicking his tongue on my pussy, but only now and again.  I tried to push my pussy forward so that he had to give it all his attention, but he kept me waiting.

I was cumming already and he hadn't even put his tongue inside me.  I was so wet!

Then he stood up and removed his pants.  His dick was huge already!  I begged him to put it inside me.  He didn't say a word.  He just pulled me towards him, wrapped my legs around his hips and, very very slowly, pushed his dick into my pussy.  I came there and then!

He stayed still until I had recovered and then he began to move backwards and forwards inside me.  He got faster and faster and my pussy began to throb again and grip his dick tight.  I was completely out of it.  I was seeing stars!

And when he came he exploded inside me for ages and that made me cum all over again.  I thought my pussy would never stop vibrating!

He collapsed on top of me and moved so we lay together sideways, with his dick still inside me.  We lay there for ages, completely shagged out!

I woke up a couple of hours later and he was still inside me.  I love that!  But I pulled off and went and had a shower.  After that I got us both a glass of wine and climbed back into bed and cuddled up to my lovely man.

Thinking about it, maybe he did read that entry and wanted to show me that he's still my man and my best lover.  If that's the case it definitely worked!

I haven't blogged for a couple of days as I haven't been feeling that great.  I've had my first cold of the winter.  I still did a modelling assignment yesterday, but all I wanted to do after getting home from working in a cold, drafty studio was curl up by the fire and feel sorry for myself!

Catching lots of colds is one of the hazards of travelling regularly on London tubes.  Packed in like sardines and breathing in everyone's germs (and garlic breath) is a sure way to pick something up!

That reminds me of something I had to tell you.  I was in a tube station yesterday when I saw a guy I hadn't seen for some time.  He was my first boyfriend at university.  I'd had boyfriends before, but he was special as he was the one who showed me that sex doesn't have to be a quick bang behind the cycle sheds or in the back of some boy's clapped out car.  And he showed me that some men (like him) think it's important that girls cum as well as them.  And that was a first!

We got together in the first week of term.  We had loads in common.  We liked the same sort of music, we had the same stupid sense of humour, and we both loved clubbing, which meant that by the end of the first few weeks we also had something else in common.  We were both broke!

But that was good in a way because we had to stay in a lot and then we really got to know each other.  And that meant having lots of sex!

He taught me loads of new things.  I had never done the '69' position until then and I was a bit shy about him licking out my pussy, but it made me feel so good!  And he had a lovely big dick too.  He showed me the right way to give him a handjob; how to grip just tightly enough so that I could rub up and down his dick; how to tease the sensitive tip.... I can give a great handjob now!  And he was so caring.  Looking back, it may have been because he thought that was the best way to get me to have mind blowing sex with him, but I don't care.  He taught me so much, and at the time he loved me too and that, I guess, is what made the sex so fantastic.

We had a fairly long love affair.  It lasted for a couple of years with only one short break up.  But then he had to go abroad for a year as part of his course and it all fell apart.  He had his life and I had mine.  We e-mailed each other when we could and sometimes we even wrote.  Phoning cost too much money so that was out of the question.  So we just lost touch.

By the time he came back I had graduated and moved on.  We lived quite far apart from each other, so there was no point in meeting up again.  So we just didn't bother. 

And now I've seen him again and all those old feelings are starting to come back.  He's still really fit.  Lovely silky black hair and big brown eyes.  I love his voice too.  I wasn't really looking my best (being ill with my cold), so I was a bit embarassed for him to see me, but he seemed really pleased. 

We had a quck chat, but we were both in a rush and had different tubes to catch, so it didn't take long.  We swopped phone numbers though.

It's probably because I'm still feeling a bit low after my cold, but I am thinking about him a lot right now.  I love my boyfriend to bits so I don't know quite what this is all about. And I guess the feelings will wear off in a day or two.

That is, if he doesn't get in touch.