Swagwire™: Advice on Men's Fashion, Style, and the Gentleman's Lifestyle

Men's Interview and Business Attire

2012-02-21T18:10:00.004-05:00

The general dress code guidelines for men during an interview are that we wear suits in navy blue or dark blue. This is preferred over gray or charcoal gray. Sometimes brown can be acceptable but not on the first interview. Usually, the darker the suit, the more authority it carries. But beware; you should never wear black to an interview unless you are applying as an undertaker. A two piece suit is acceptable as is a three button single breasted jacket. What matters most is that the suit fits well and it is good quality. Your pants should fit comfortably at the waist and a slimmer fit is preferred. There should only be a slight break where the trouser hits the shoe. If your ankles are showing, they are way too short.

A man at an interview should always wear a long sleeved shirt either in white, cream or pale blue. Monograms are not a good decision on the first interview. If you tend to perspire often, cotton shirts are the way to go professionally cleaned and starched. The higher the cotton content, the better the shirt will look. Make sure your shirt fits the neck properly and that the sleeve cuff ends just at the wrist. All your interview clothes should be professionally cleaned and pressed and ready to go.

Ties that are cheap looking do not give off a good first impression. A pure silk tie makes the most powerful professional impact, has the best finish and feel, and is easiest to tie well. The tie should complement your suit, not match it. No outlandish, flamboyant ties are necessary. The length of the tie should be extended to your trouser belt.

Shoes should be brown or black leather. No other materials or colors are acceptable. Socks should complement the suit, blue, black, gray, or brown. A briefcase is a symbol of authority, which makes a strong professional statement. Brown or burgundy are the colors of choice.

Jewelry should be kept to a minimum. No visible body piercing or tattoos -if you can help it.

This clean cut, well manicured image says a lot about you, the professional man. You should have good grooming, to include a smartly trimmed hair cut and appear clean and crisp.

Good luck.

Five Easy Steps to Staying Motivated

2012-02-20T08:27:00.001-05:00

Motivating yourself to excel at your job or to be an example to your employees, should not be something you do only when the spirit moves you. It’s an ongoing process that should include every facet of your business life. This means your mental attitude, physical well-being and appearance, work atmosphere, your interaction with others (clients and employees alike), and your off-the-job environment.

Motivational experts get paid big bucks to tell professionals, striving for success, that they must constantly examine these factors. How do you do that? Follow the 5 tips that follow, and watch the changes.

1. Maintain a Positive Attitude – Let’s realize that life is only 10% of what happens to us and 90% how we react to it. We’re responsible for our own actions and attitudes, and changing them when appropriate. When you’re around people/things that are uplifting and positive, you feel that way. You have more confidence in yourself, and know you can change whatever needs changing. If you can make your workplace such a place you’ll find happier workers and higher production. You might even find your employees look forward to coming to work!

2. Leave Personal Troubles Home - Everyone has problems, but they don’t belong at work. Turn your attention and energy entirely to your on-the-job tasks. This will actually be good for you because you’ll get a mental break from your troubles.

3. Create Positive Affirmations - The reason for writing goals for your business is the same as creating positive affirmations on paper. What your eyes see and ears hear, your mind will believe. Try it! After you’ve written them down, read them aloud to yourself – and do it every morning when you get into work. You’ll be amazed at what happens. Come up with a set of new ones every month. Statements such as, “I’m an important and valuable person,” or “I know I’ll make good use of my time today.” Repeating them out loud everyday at a set time will help reinforce positive actions.

4. Make Sure Break Times Are Really Break Times - This is an area where most bosses/entrepreneurs fall down. You become so intense about the project or situation you’re working on that you don’t ease up. Thinking that it’ll be solved in the next few seconds, and then you’ll get a cup of coffee can lead you right up to quitting time. Regularly adhering to a specified break schedule, even if you’re the boss, releases the tension. If you work on a computer this is even a greater problem because before you realize it – you’ve been working in that same position for hours. The best answer to this is to set yourself a reminder on your appointment calendar for every 2 hours, and let the computer reminder chime send you the alert to move around.

5. Exercise, Exercise, Exercise - I know that lately it seems that “exercise” is the cure-all to every physical ailment or your love life, but despite that there is some truth to that ugly word. By “exercise” I don’t mean that you should go out and join a gym and spend your lunch-time, 3-days-a-week there working out. What is really beneficial and workable is that at those chiming alerts from your computer, get up and walk around your desk or room. Maybe go outside and get the mail and enjoy the sunlight (if you’re an entrepreneur that has a home office), or just get up and do a few stretches. Concentrated, tense thinking – typing - plotting plans - or whatever your work, makes all those muscles tighten up and knot up. Then when we move we “ooh” and “ouch” because we’ve knotted up into a ball of tension. Periodic stretching, even at our desk, or just getting up and walking over to the window and getting a different view can help. One of the greatest disservice modern business décor has done to us, is making our offices pristine, sleek, unencumbered spaces. There is nothing more relaxing than getting up from your desk and walking over to a peaceful, serene, seascape or pastoral painting and just drinking it in visually. Momentarily transporting your mind out of work and into that place does wonders. A few good paintings and less shiny chrome in offices would benefit us all.

It only takes a little concentrated effort on our part to keep motivated and productive, which leads to success. I know you’re going to hate hearing this, but it’s true anyway – and that is, “WHEN LIFE GIVES YOUR LEMONS – MAKE LEMONADE!”

Schmid Spring 2012

2012-01-30T23:04:00.003-05:00

Schmid - www.schmid.cc

Products: Footwear collection designed by Peter Schmid and manufactured in our own workshop.

Nice Slippers

2012-01-27T19:13:00.001-05:00

This is what I call a great pair of shoes!

Your Life's Venn Diagram(s)

2012-01-24T16:00:00.002-05:00

Venn diagrams or set diagrams are diagrams that show all possible logical relations between a finite collection of sets (aggregation of things). Venn diagrams were conceived around 1880 by John Venn. They are used to teach elementary set theory, as well as illustrate simple set relationships in probability, logic, statistics, linguistics and computer science (see logical connectives).

The framework of Venn Diagrams apply to your personal social circles as well. This is one area where Google+ (Google’s new Social Network) got it right and Facebook got it wrong. Facebook allowed you to make everyone a “Friend,” incorrectly assuming that you wanted to share everything with everyone. Google+, on the other hand, allowed you to put different friends in different “circles.” Using the concept of Google Circles, Google+ created a competitive edge by providing a social network that more closely mimics real life. The friend circles in Google+ is literally a living Venn Diagram that you can control and change as you wish— just like you do in real life.

Although we subconsciously do it, the way we divide and categorize our social connections is literally a Venn diagram. We have co-workers who we treat differently from friends. We have close friends who we treat differently from casual acquaintances. We have casual friends who we treat differently from someone we never met. We all do this, even if we don’t intend to. What differs from person to person, however, is how guarded we are when interacting with the various circles. For example, a person who likes to “share all of their business,” is far less guarded than the person who says little more than “Hi” to someone they are just meeting.

Many people struggle with identity. That struggle originates in reaching that common ground across all social circles. The way you deal with that is by giving a close examination of how you want to be known throughout the community. You should consider what image or personality traits you wish to convey. This should be done deliberately. One way this can be achieved is by having an elevator speech, which is basically 3-4 sentences that you can readily recite about yourself when making small talk with someone upon first meeting them. You should examine what you would like to be known for. You should also consider what you have done for others. Pick out the last 3 selfless acts that you have done for someone else, and you will get some indication of how others value you. If it takes you a while to think of something, you need to work on that.

Lastly, are you consistent? Although people rightfully act different between different circles, the variances should not be totally opposite. That is, you should not be quoting Bible verses around one set of friends, but then doing drugs around another. This will eventually dilute your value throughout your whole set of connections because it will eventually catch up with you. In other words you must be consistent. It is okay to be more or less casual, depending on who you are dealing with, but refrain from crossing the line of being fake. In other words, “Know Thyself” and remain true to thy self.

We must always be conscious of our Life’s Venn Diagram of Social Connections and act accordingly.

The Kanye West Interview that Everyone is talking about.

2010-11-13T15:00:00.000-05:00

Kanye West was interviewed by Matt Lauer of the 'Today Show' on his reaction to former President George W. Bush claiming West's comments following Hurricane Katrina were disgusting.... I say West was taking command and control of his interview and trying to prevent from being potrayed in an unfavorable light. I think more artists/entertainers should do the same. Check it out below...Thoughts?

Quinntessential Gentleman: "A Swagwire Experience"

2010-11-12T21:00:00.005-05:00

Every now and then, Judge Swagwire comes across an establishment in Baltimore that deserves to be noted as nothing less than "A Swagwire Experience." A few months ago, I had a chance to visit The Quintessential Gentleman, an establishment in Baltimore known for providing fine grooming for men. I would read about it occasionally, and wonder what it would be like to go. So after sitting for the Maryland Bar Exam, I decided to treat myself to going. I expected to spend a bit more money than I would at a typical barber shop. But, I was surprised to find that the level of service and treatment was worth far more. In all, I spent $180, but I left feeling and looking like $1 million. As picky as I am, I can say that the owner of this fine establishment left no stone unturned. I would like to walk you through my total experience, from the moment I made my reservation on the internet, to leaving this place looking and feeling great.

Making my reservation. I made my reservation on their website. From the site, I was able to schedule individual sessions with the staff I chose. Within the website, you can see all of the staff bios, and when you book your reservation, you will know exactly who will be your service provider. When selecting treatments, I was able to read about the particular service I was choosing. Within minutes, I received a confirmation email for my appointment, and even received a reminder email the day of. I scheduled three services: a shoe shine with Levar; a Quinntessential Face Remedy with Jennifer; and a lineup with Sam.

The Experience. When I arrived, I was greeted by name, given a quick tour, and was introduced to the staff. Although it was my first time, and they had no idea that I was going to be writing this post, I got a taste of what it would feel like being Ray Lewis in Baltimore. I was offered a complementary beverage. I chose to have a beer, and requested a Yuengling Light and, sure enough, they had it.

My appointment started on time and went efficient. My shoes were shined while I received my facial and lineup. My esthetician, Jennifer, did a great job and explained everything she was doing. She made recommendations to help me improve my skin, and personally mixed a skin treatment mask for me to take with me. She was very knowledgeable, polite, and fun to be around. My barber, Sam, was a fellow former Navy man. Like Jennifer, he was great to work with. For me, the most impressive thing was his reaction to how I "grilled" him. One awkward question I asked him was how much experience he had cutting African American hair. Although a weird question, it is necessary because different hair textures require different cutting styles and techniques. To Sam's credit, he spoke of his experience starting out at a primarily African American barber shop, but most importantly, he spoke of Craig (the owner)'s requirement that each barber be able to cut all types of hair, by demonstrating this ability before being allowed to work there. This not only means that this place has some of the best barbers in the city (because most barbers are stronger in 1 hair type), but also demonstrated Craig's committment to providing services to a diverse customer base; the common customer bond seams to be luxury men's treatment.

Summary. In all, this was a five star experience-- hands down. I will be going back in a few weeks. This time, I plan to cement my relationship as "a regular" by leaving a bottle of Scotch that they will label, store, and offer to me during future visits (yes, they do this for everyone). In addition, I plan to hangout after my appointment and partake in a fine cigar from their well-maintained humidor (which they have on site).

You can find this establishment on the internet at http://www.baltimorebarbershop.com/. In addition, you can follow them on Twitter @theqg . I highly recommend you visit this oasis of luxury for Baltimore gentlemen. Please tell them that Judge Swagwire sent you and comment on this post to let me know what you think.

Judge D.S. Swagwire, International Court of Gentlemen

P.S. I have posted some pictures of a few of their "perks" below:

Wifey Status?: A Multifactoral Analysis

2010-11-11T10:07:00.009-05:00

Judge Swagwire is writing today to point out several factors to consider when choosing a good wife. Statisticians use a technique called "Multivariate Analysis" to determine whether or not one or more individual factors are noteworthy. In Judge Swagwire's world, this process can theoretically be applied to almost anything, including how a man goes about choosing a wife. Although I have not collected the numerical data, my life lessons show several significant factors that one may use in choosing a wife. If this was an actual multivariate analysis, our output variable would be "whether or not your marriage will be successful"-- that is, one where you live a happy life and grow old together, with no regrets and thousands of sacred and heart-warming memories. Now for the significant "input" variables... or important factors.

Judge Swagwire believes that the following factors should be closely scrutinized when choosing a wife. As a note, no single variable is dispositive or has a greater weight than the other. It is the totality of these factors that you should strongly consider when deciding if a woman is just "fun to date" or ready to be upgraded to Wifey status:

1. Her Relationship With Her Mother. Does potential-wifey have a healthy relationship with her mother? Did her mother pass down the generations of life lessons that will have a huge impact on the wellness of you and your future children. By life lessons, I am talking about many things including: financial management; grooming; social and interpersonal skills; household management; conflict resolution; communication; health; and the many other basic life skills that a mother is supposed to give to a child. Can you depend on your potential-mate to receive WISE counsel from her mom? For example, if your wife turns to her mom, will mommy tell her what she "wants" to hear or what she "needs" to hear? Bottom line, the mother should have provided those essential life skills, and you should feel 100% confident when your wife goes to her mother for advice-- especially about your marriage.

2. Her Mother. Similar to 1 above, in most cases, if you look at a woman's mother, you are getting a real life preview of your wife years from now. We Americans are raised to fiercely believe that we determine our own destiny, which is largely true, but we cannot ignore the reality of genetics and years of living with and looking up to one's parent. Am I saying that, if the mom is a crack addict, then wifey will be a crack addict? NO. But, I am saying that, at some point, moms being a crack addict will materialize in your marriage in some form-- even if sub-consciously. Again, this factor is hard to swallow for many, but nevertheless a significant one that should be considered in light of other factors mentioned.

***Factors (1) and (2) above are largely beyond potential-wife's control. However, the remaining factors are TOTALLY in her control.*****

3. Her level of Compassion. At its root, the word compassion is "a deep awareness of and sympathy for another's suffering." Judge Swagwire would like to broaden this term to be, an awareness of the feelings and perception of those around you. Thus, to Judge Swagwire, compassion is relevant to more than just 'another's suffering.' I extend the definition of compassion to the ability to think OUTSIDE YOUR OWN BOX. No matter how great potential-wife thinks she is, it means nothing if those around her perceive her as negative. Well, one may argue that the others may be hating or jealous. However, if 90% of those around her feel this way, then we have a problem. Like it or not, perception is everything. The Consumer industry shows as much. When the swine flu came out, thousands of pigs were slaughtered and burned. The pork industry tanked. In actuality, there was very little (or no) risk of swine flu from eating pork, but because of the perception, billions of dollars was lost. So, does this woman have an awareness of her reputation and how she is being perceived? The most important thing is awareness. After awareness, consider how she responds. If she doesn't hit it off with your family or friends, does she go out her way to strengthen the relationship, or does she simply avoid or complain about them? As a note, she should also care about the impact of her words and actions on others. How does she make the people around her feel? Is she aware when she says something out of line that may hurt others? If she doesn't care or doesn't have a healthy level of compassion, then think about her reaction if you go to her about a issue in your marriage that is effecting you.

4. Her past relationships. I like to think that the common factor in all of my terrible relationships, both personally and professionally, is me. If a person has one or two bad relationships, then that's one thing. But something is to be said about the woman who "just happened" to date 10 jerks and abusers in a row. A quick way to get to the bottom of this factor is to LISTEN at how she talks about her past relationships. Is she "always the victim" and the other guy the antagonist? Or, does she take ownership of things she could have done better in her past relationships? I firmly believe that relationships cannot be unilaterally ended. It takes two people at some point doing some action to bring on the demise of the relationship.

5. Her life outside of you. Does she have a life besides you? If she seams to always be there waiting at your beck and call, this is a red flag. Although it may be fun to have a woman on stand-bye, it is not good long-term. What are her hobbies? What is she doing to improve herself? What does she talk about when you ask her how her day went? Does she have her own positive social support group? You NEVER....EVER....NEVER want any person, let alone your wife, solely dependent on you. In the end, as soon as something is not going right in her life, she will associate that unhappiness with you. Because, after all, "you are her life," and if her life is bad, then you are...you guessed it...... bad. So, who was this woman before you, and more importantly, does she continue to maintain her life and own identity with you.

In the end, an hour-glass figure, a pretty smile, and a great personality helps, and if you desire, certainly may serve as an initial screening factor. But, when we start to consider Wifey status, the above 5 factors should be considered. Taking them all into account, you can make an informed decision. Putting a ring on it is more than just liking it.

D.S. Swagwire
Judge, International Court of Gentlemen

Your Writing Game: Avoid genteelisms, officialese, and commercialese

2010-11-10T20:32:00.004-05:00

"Avoid genteelisms, officialese, and commercialese"
By: Bryan A. Garner

Most of us need to work hard at being plain-spoken. Oddly, achieving a natural style takes a lot of effort because of an unconscious tendency toward verbal inflation. When it comes to word choice, we should follow the advice of the revered brothers Fowler, who in their 1906 book The King’s English advised: prefer simple words over fancy ones (house, not residence), concrete words over abstract ones (pay, not remuneration or recompense), short words over long ones (end or fire over terminate).

Three related linguistic viruses discourage plain-spokenness: (1) genteelisms—words and phrases by which insecure people try to raise their social status; (2) officialese—language that many people consider “official-sounding”; and (3) commercialese—language that is commonly found in formulaic business correspondence. The ‑ ese suffix found in officialese and commercialese, as in legalese, denotes a caricatured literary style. Other types include academese and journalese. But officialese and commercialese, together with genteelisms, make up a peculiar overlay for lawyers’ language.

Genteelisms move us into the realm of sociolinguistics. They’re a linguistic phenomenon that correlates to social class. You see, sociolinguists have long known that social insecurity leads people to inflate their word choice, as if doing so might enhance their social position. They feel more “professional.” So low-status people adopt what they think are middle-status words. And they virtually always get it wrong. Likewise, middle-status people adopt what they think are high-status words (again getting it wrong). Their attempts backfire. This age-old, much-studied use of genteelisms rigidifies social stratification. Instead of providing people with social uplift, pretentious word choices help keep them down.

Linguists have studied this phenomenon for decades and have tagged it with some jargon of their own: U (denoting upper-class speech) and non-U (denoting non-upper-class speech). You want examples? Sweat (U), perspire (non-U). Before (U), prior to (non-U). Later (U), subsequently (non-U). Try (U), endeavor (non-U). Now (U), at this time (non-U). Happen (U), transpire (non-U). Do you see a trend there? The fancy-pants expressions are typically non-U genteelisms.

Stylists universally condemn genteelisms. Eric Partridge, a lexicographer and usage expert, called them “words and phrases that the semiliterate and far too many of the literate believe to be more elegant than the terms they displace.” Even Emily Post, the 20th century’s leading adviser to Americans on matters of etiquette, scorned genteelisms as “pseudo-elegance . . . on a par with curled up third and little fingers holding a teacup.”

Closely related to genteelisms is “officialese.” It’s the language of petty officials. For example, when you get off an airplane—er, “deplane”—in Los Angeles, you’re greeted with endless repeats of the following message: “Please maintain visual contact with your personal property at all times.” Not watch but maintain visual contact. Not closely but at all times. Not belongings but personal property (presumably your real property is exempt).

Like genteelisms, officialese is puffed-up language meant to elevate the user’s status. Whereas genteelisms are intended to project an elevated social status, officialese is intended to project an air of authority supposedly fitting a “professional.” But the result in either case can be ludicrous. Police-talk, to take an extreme example, is an easy target for satirical jabs: “The white males proceeded at a high rate of speed to the intersection of State Highway 37, where they exited their vehicle. The officers then exited their vehicles and engaged in foot pursuit of the white males.” The police don’t like getting out of their cars and running after people; they prefer exiting their vehicles and engaging in foot pursuit.

The root of officialese may lie in the official’s role as an intermediary between the law and the public. That role often seemingly requires the official to approximate legal language. Further, officials naturally want to dignify their positions. So they prefer long sentences over short ones, fancy words over plain ones, vagueness over directness, passive voice over active, and buzzwords over traditional expressions.

Officials addicted to officialese “incent” their employees. They “utilize” resources. They “effectuate” plans. They “transmit” papers. They “task” people. They “impact” lives. And they love to “administrate” wherever they “office.” And when they write letters, they’re fond of commercialese. That is, they’ve learned to sound like machines, not people. They sound like self-important bureaucrats. They’re faceless.

In fact, good business letters—like good personal letters—should reflect that the writer is direct, pleasant, and unpretentious. But most do the opposite. Often, a poor tone in legal and other business correspondence stems from laziness. The classic excuse for using an unduly formal style—“we’ve always done it that way”—can be hard to stand against. After all, there are many formulas out there for writing poorly, especially in routine correspondence: you just mimic those ancient (and often meaningless) words and phrases that you’ve seen other people use so often.

If you want to write a bad letter, start with Enclosed please find. Business-writing authorities have universally condemned the phrase for well over a century. The better wording is Enclosed is, Enclosed are, Here is, or Here are. The old phrasing has no defenders—at least none who are willing to go on the record.

If you want to write effective letters, put down the words that you would say to the recipient if he or she were with you in your office. Be conversational. Be real.

Yet there are many hoary old phrases that letter writers keep on life support: at your earliest convenience (make it as soon as you can), in light of the fact that (make it because), pursuant to your instructions (make it as you requested), as per our telephone discussion (make it as we discussed).

Of course, plain English looks easy and sounds easy. But it isn’t. As the great historian Jacques Barzun once remarked, “Simple English is no one’s mother tongue. It has to be worked for.” Indeed. It doesn’t come naturally at all. It goes against the grain.

It’s far easier to think that subsequent to your matriculation in a school of law, you must, pursuant to standards of good writing, incent yourself to acquire elevated vocables. But it’s more worthwhile to swear off genteelisms, officialese, and commercialese. You’ll gain great power in your writing.

Gucci Shoes for Men

2010-10-31T10:29:00.005-04:00

As I was listening to my man Rickey Ross, I heard him proudly proclaim that "My loose cheese scooped up the Gucci..." ----- Swagwire challenge... what song/album is this from?

Although loving this song, I quickly became disgusted at the thought of 100s of guys running out and purchasing anything bearing the Gucci name or trademarked print-- especially when it comes to shoes.

Case and sample. I do not endorse buying this pair of shoes or its many derivatives:

For several reasons: (1) It screams to the world that you want everyone to know that you are wearing Gucci, (2) this style is so heavily used as knock-offs, that people will think you are wearing the fake ones, and (3) for the previous two reasons, it simply doesn't justify the hefty price tag.

Instead, I recommend purchasing Gucci shoes as an investment. [See my post showing how expensive shoes become an investment]. Examples of Gucci shoes for various occassions are below:

Athletic (or when you wanna rock sneakers):

Jay-Z's New Book: "Decoded"

2010-10-25T22:12:00.003-04:00

ATTENTION ALL JAY-Z FANS:

Jay has written one of the freshest books of 2010! Decoded is a book of some of his best rhymes, with his own line-by-line personal commentary. I like to think of hip-hop as an art that is veiled in allegory-- that is, stories within stories-- within stories-- within stories. A full description of the symbolism, allegory, and stories behind his rhymes is what Jay gives us in Decoded. Please see his own description below and also an excerpt of the book. Note that the excerpt is from my ALL TIME FAVORITE JAY-Z SONG---> "American Dreamin"

Jay-Z on Decoded:
When you're famous and say you're writing a book, people assume that it's an autobiography--I was born here, raised there, suffered this, loved that, lost it all, got it back, the end.
But that's not what this is. I've never been a linear thinker, which is something you can see in my rhymes. They follow the jumpy logic of poetry and emotion, not the straight line of careful prose. My book is like that, too.

Decoded is first and foremost, a book of rhymes, which is ironic because I don't actually write my rhymes--they come to me in my head and I record them. The book is packed with the stories from my life that are the foundation of my lyrics--stories about coming up in the streets of Brooklyn in the 80's and 90's, stories about becoming an artist and entrepreneur and discovering worlds that I never dreamed existed when I was a kid. But it always comes back to the rhymes. There's poetry in hip-hop lyrics--not just mine, but in the work of all the great hip-hop artists, from KRS-One and Rakim to Biggie and Pac to a hundred emcees on a hundred corners all over the world that you've never heard of. The magic of rap is in the way it can take the most specific experience, from individual lives in unlikely places, and turn them into art that can be embraced by the whole world. Decoded is a book about one of those specific lives--mine--and will show you how the things I've experienced and observed have made their way into the art I've created. It's also about how my work is sometimes not about my life at all, but about pushing the boundaries of what I can express through the poetry of rap--trying to use words to find fresh angles into emotions that we all share, which is the hidden mission in even the hardest hip-hop. Decoded is a book about some of my favorite songs--songs that I unpack and explain and surround with narratives about what inspired them--but behind the rhymes is the truest story of my life.

See pages from the book where Jay-Z explains the lyrics to his song 'American Dreamin' '

Page from 'Decoded'

"4 YARDS Series": Your Life's Game Film

2010-09-21T20:33:00.006-04:00

This is the first in a series of articles that I will write called The 4 YARDS Series "4YS." In this series, I will draw comparisons between the game of football and the game of life. Although my days as a football player were short lived, I learned lessons on the field that I still use in my everyday life. In fact, I like to tell people that my life's philosophy is largely based on the game of football. The title "4 yards" represents a critical amount of yardage in football. Theoretically, if the offense was to get 4 yards on every down, they would be guaranteed to eventually score a touchdown. Thus, from a strategy standpoint, a coach would prefer to get four guaranteed yards on every down, instead of starting out by throwing a hail-merry on 1st down. In the game of life, we oftentimes will go after our personal and professional goals by throwing a hail-merry, instead of breaking down a long-term goal into a series of short-term "4 yard" goals. For example, if a person's long term goal is to become a medical doctor, this goal must be broken down into a series of short-term goals, such as earning a good undergraduate GPA, taking the MCAT, getting accepted into medical school, and so on. However, we often get blinded by the idea of scoring the touchdown, and forget about picking up the necessary series of 4 yards along the way. We, in essence, often attempt to obtain huge goals too fast, and don't take the time to meet the series of 4-yard goals needed to achieve the eventual touchdown. This 4 yards concept is the origin of title of this series.

With that said, my first 4YS article is based upon a little known, but vitally-important concept in the game of football. Few football fans understand the concept and importance of watching game film.
In fact, some coaches believe that there should be at least 3 hours of film watching for every 1 hour of on the field football practice. Although game film is important pre-game, during the game, and post-game, this article is focused on post-game film. That is, a team's review of their own performance after a game. Post-game film review is important for many reasons, but its importance can be summed up as follows:

What did our team do good; what did we do bad; and what can we do better?

A team will break down every single angle of game film in order to answer the above three questions. The end result is that players can understand how mistakes were made, and how they can improve in the future. Film-watching isn't easy. In fact, there is a running joke in football that "the eye in the sky doesn't lie." If you are that corner-back who got burned, and gave up a touchdown, you will have too see that play dozens of times-- even in slow motion. Although it is not easy watching yourself make a mistake over and over, you are unlikely to make the same mistake again. Watching game-film requires you to be able to be your own worst critic; you must have thick skin.

So what does watching game film have to do with the game of life? Am I implying that we should have a camera-man recording our every move? Of course not. However, surely we can each "man-up" and be our own "camera man." Surely, you can take the time to review your performance during each of life's evolutions. By evolution, I am referring to any key event or situation you encounter in the game of life. For example, your performance during a presentation at work; the way you handle an argument with your significant other; the course of events that led to the ending of a relationship; how you chose to discipline your child; your performance during a job interview; or any other event that is significant in your life.

We tend to look at life events in a manner that favors us. For example, at the end of a relationship, we make the mistake of focusing on what the other person did wrong, and not on what we could have done better. This goes against the concept of watching game film. You CAN NOT control the actions or behavior of that bad ex. You CAN, however, review this experience (watch the film), and take note of what you can do different in your future relationships. Even if you were the perfect husband/boyfriend, at a minimum you should be scrutinizing how you went about choosing your ex, so you can recognize those same red flags in the future. In other words, instead of focusing on the external factors that you can not control, put the focus and scrutiny on yourself. Watch your life's game film. Take this post job interview example:

What did I do right? --->; I arrived on time. I dressed appropriately and I projected a polished professional image. [pat on the back!!!]

What did I do bad? ---->; I stumbled through answering questions.

What could I have done better/different?---->; Next time I interview, I can practice and have a friend conduct a mock interview with me. I will also write down a list of common questions and practice answering them in a clear, upbeat, and articulate manner.

Now, compare the above "film-watching" that focuses on self, with the below example that focuses on external factors that you CAN NOT control.

The interviewer was on his Blackberry the whole time; I couldn't answer questions well because the interviewer was mean and asked hard questions and tried to trip me up.

I would go as far as to say that the above post-interview statements display a looser mentality. They are full of excuses and are incapable of giving you a plan of action for improving your future performance. This is as if a football team refused to watch post-game film, and instead griped over how big and fast the other players were, or the unfairness of the officials.

We should strive to scrutinize our own game film every chance we get. We should not be afraid to confront our faults and mistakes. We are only human. We can not change external factors or other people. But, we can continually improve ourselves, by watching our "game film" of life.

They Eye in the Sky Doesn't Lie!

About the Swagwire Book of The Week: The Art of Seduction

2010-08-23T17:44:00.003-04:00

From Library Journal
Touted as a "handbook on the most subtle and effective form of power" and "an indispensable primer on how to take what you want from whomever you want," this book is more than a little creepy. Following on the heels of his 48 Laws of Power, this book continues Greene's gross exploration of social power, this time in the realm of sexual politics.
In Part 1, Greene, again paired with "packager" Joost Elffers (Play with Your Food), offers a straight-faced description of the nine types of seductive character, from the "Ideal Lover" to the "Rake." Elffers's contribution comes in the form of numerous quotes by famous contemporary and historical figures tucked into the side margins. Part 2 examines the process of seduction, subdivided into four phases, with chapter headings such as "Master the Art of Insinuation" and "Isolate the Victim." This book will have real appeal for power mongers, gold diggers, and heartless manipulators everywhere. Books such as Beverley East's Finding Mr. Write (LJ 5/1/00) and Jama Clark's What the Hell Do Women Really Want? (Island Flower, 1997) offer advice on the same subject without the distasteful exploitative emphasis. David Valencia, King Cty. Lib. Syst., WA

Below is a Summary of each Seduction "technique" discussed in the book:

Phase One: Separation
Stirring Interest and Desire

1. CHOOSE THE RIGHT VICTIM
Everything depends on the target of your seduction. Study your prey thoroughly, and choose only those who will prove susceptible to your charms. The right victims are those for whom you can fill a void, who see in you something exotic. They are often isolated or unhappy, or can easily be made so- for the completely contented person is almost impossible to seduce. The perfect victim has some quality that inspires strong emotions in you, making your seductive maneuvers seem more natural and dynamic. The perfect victim allows for the perfect chase.

2. CREATE A FALSE SENSE OF SECURITY- APPROACH INDIRECTLY
If you are too direct early on, you risk stirring up a resistance that will never be lowered. At first there must be nothing of the seducer in your manner. The seduction should begin at an angle, indirectly, so that the target only gradually becomes aware of you. Haunt the periphery of your targetï¿½s life- approach through a third party, of seem to cultivate a relatively neutral relationship, moving gradually from friend to lover. Lull the target into feeling secure, then strike.

3. SEND MIXED SIGNALS
Once people are aware of your presence, and perhaps vaguely intrigued, you need to stir their interest before it settles on someone else. Most of us are much too obvious- instead, be hard to figure out. Send mixed signals: both tough and tender, both spiritual and earthly, both innocent and cunning. A mix of qualities suggests depth, which fascinates even as it confuses. An elusive, enigmatic aura will make people want to know more, drawing them into your circle. Create such a power by hinting at something contradictory within you.

4. APPEAR TO BE AN OBJECT OF DESIRE- CREATE TRIANGLES
Few are drawn to the person whom others avoid and neglect; people gather around those who have already attracted interest. To draw your victims closer and make them hungry to possess you, you must create an aura of desirability- of being wanted and courted by many. It will become a point of vanity for them to be the preferred object of your attention, to win you away from a crowd of admirers. Build a reputation that precedes you: If many have succumbed to your charms there must be a reason.

5. CREATE A NEED- STIR ANXIETY AND DISCONTENT
A perfectly satisfied person cannot be seduced. Tension and disharmony must be instilled in your targetsï¿½ minds. Stir within them feelings of discontent, an unhappiness with their circumstances and themselves. The feeling of inadequacy that you create will give you space to insinuate yourself, to make them see you as the answer to their problems. Pain and anxiety are the proper precursors to pleasure. Learn to manufacture the need that you can fill.

6. MASTER THE ART OF INSINUATION
Making your targets feel dissatisfied and in need of your attention is essential, but if you are too obvious, they will see through you and grow defensive. There is no known defense, however, against insinuation- the art of planting ideas in peopleï¿½s minds by dropping hints that take root days later, even appearing to them as their own idea. Create a sublanguage- bold statement followed by retraction and apology, ambiguous comments, banal talk combined with alluring glances- that enters the targetï¿½s unconscious to convey your real meaning. Make everything suggestive.

7. ENTER THEIR SPIRIT
Most people are locked in their own worlds, making them stubborn and hard to persuade. The way to lure them out of their shell and set up your seduction is to enter their spirit. Play by their rules, enjoy what they enjoy, adapt yourself to their moods. In doing so you will stroke their deep-rooted narcissism and lower their defenses. Indulge your targetsï¿½ every move and whim, giving them nothing to react against or resist.

8. CREATE TEMPTATION
Lure the target deep into your seduction by creating the proper temptation: a glimpse of the pleasures to come. As the serpent tempted Eve with the promise of forbidden knowledge, you must awaken a desire in your targets that they cannot control. Find that weakness of theirs, that fantasy that has yet to be realized, and hint that you can lead them toward it. The key is to keep it vague. Stimulate a curiosity stronger than the doubts and anxieties that go with it, and they will follow you.

Phase Two: Lead Astray
Creating Pleasure and Confusion

9. KEEP THEM IN SUSPENSE- WHAT COMES NEXT
The moment people feel they know what to expect from you, your spell on them is broken. More: You have ceded them power. The only way to lead the seduced along and keep the upper hand is to create suspense, a calculated surprise. Doing something they do not expect from you will give them a delightful sense of spontaneity- they will not be able to foresee what comes next. You are always one step ahead and in control. Give the victim a thrill with a sudden change of direction.

10. USE THE DEMONIC POWER OF WORDS TO SOW CONFUSION
It is hard to make people listen; they are consumed with their own thoughts and desires, and have little time for yours. The trick to making them listen is to say what they want to hear, to fill their ears with whatever is pleasant to them. This is the essence of seductive language. Inflame peopleï¿½s emotions with loaded phrases, flatter them, comfort their insecurities, envelop them is sweet words and promises, and not only will they listen to you, they will lose their will to resist you.

11. PAY ATTENTION TO DETAIL
Lofty words of love and grand gestures can be suspicious: Why are you trying so hard to please? The details of a seduction- the subtle gestures, the offhand things you do- are often more charming and revealing. You must learn to distract your victims with a myriad of pleasant little rituals- thoughtful gifts tailored just for them, clothes and adornments designed to please them, gestures that show the time and attention you are paying them. Mesmerized by what they see, they will not notice what you are really up to.

12. POETICIZE YOUR PRESENCE
Important things happen when your targets are alone: The slightest feeling of relief that you are not there, and it is all over. Familiarity and overexposure will cause this reaction. Remain elusive, then. Intrigue your targets by alternating an exciting presence with a cool distance, exuberant moments followed by calculated absences. Associate yourself with poetic images and objects, so that when they think of you, they begin to see you through and idealized halo. The more you figure in their minds, the more they will envelop you in seductive fantasies.

13. DISARM THROUGH STRATEGIC WEAKNESS AND VULNERABILITY
Too much maneuvering on your part may raise suspicion. The best way to cover your tracks is to make the other person feel superior and stronger. If you seem to be weak, vulnerable, enthralled by the other person, and unable to control yourself, you will make your actions look more natural, less calculated. Physical weakness- tears, bashfulness, paleness- will help create the effect. Play the victim, and then transform your targetï¿½s sympathy into love.

14. CONFUSE DESIRE AND REALITY- THE PERFECT ILLUSION
To compensate for the difficulties in their lives, people spend a lot of their time daydreaming, imagining a future full of adventure, success, and romance. If you can create the illusion that through you they can live out their dreams, you will have them at your mercy. Aim at secret wishes that have been thwarted or repressed, stirring up uncontrollable emotions, clouding their powers of reason. Lead the seduced to a point of confusion in which they can no longer tell the difference between illusion and reality.

15. ISOLATE THE VICTIM
An isolated person is weak. By slowly isolating your victims, you make them more vulnerable to your influence. Take them away from their normal milieu, friends, family, and home. Give them the sense of being marginalized, in limbo- they are leaving one world behind and entering another. Once isolated like this, they have no outside support, and in their confusion they are easily led astray. Lure the seduced into your lair, where nothing is familiar.

Phase Three: The Precipice
Deepening the Effect Through Extreme Measures

16. PROVE YOURSELF
Most people want to be seduces. If they resist your efforts, it is probably because you have not gone far enough to allay their doubts- about your motives, the depth of your feelings, and so on. One well-timed action that shows how far you are willing to go to win them over will dispel their doubts. Do not worry about looking foolish or making a mistake-any kind of deed that is self-sacrificing and for your targetsï¿½ sake will overwhelm their emotions, they wonï¿½t notice anything else.

17. EFFECT A REGRESSION
People who have experienced certain kind of pleasure in the past will try to repeat or relive it. The deepest-rooted and most pleasurable memories are usually those of early childhood, and are often unconsciously associated with parental figures. Bring your target back to that point by placing yourself in the oedipal triangle and positioning them as the needy child. Unaware of the cause of their emotional response, they will fall in love with you.

18. STIR UP THE TRANSGRESSIVE AND TABOO
There are always social limits on what one can do. Some of these, the most elemental taboos, go back centuries; others are more superficial, simply defining polite acceptable behavior. Making your targets feel that you are leading them past either kind of limit is immensely seductive. People yearn to explore their dark side. Once the desire to transgress draws your target to you, it will be hard for them to stop. Take them farther than they imagined-the shared feeling of guilt and complicity will create a powerful bond.

19. USE SPIRITUAL LURES
Everyone has doubts and insecurities-about their body, their self worth, their sexuality. If your seduction appeals exclusively to the physical, you will stir up these doubts and make your targets self conscious. Instead, lure them out of their insecurities by making them focus on something sublime and spiritual: a religious experience, a lofty work of art, the occult. Lost in a spiritual mist, the target will feel light and uninhibited. Deepen the effect of your seduction by making its sexual culmination seem like the spiritual union of two souls.

20. MIX PLEASURE WITH PAIN
The greatest mistake in seduction is being too nice. At first, perhaps, your kindness is charming, but soon it grows monotonous; you are trying to hard to please, and seem insecure. Instead of overwhelming your targets with niceness, try inflicting some pain. Make them feel guilty and insecure. Instigate a breakup- now a rapprochement, a return to your earlier kindness, will turn them weak at the knees. The lower lows you create, the greater the highs. To heighten the erotic charge, create the excitement of fear.

Phase Four: Moving In for the Kill

21. GIVE THEM SPACE TO FALL- THE PURSUER IS PURSUED
If your targets become too used to you as the aggressor, they will give less of their own energy, and the tension will slacken. You need to wake them up, turn the tables. Once they are under your spell, take a step back and they will start to come after you. Hint that you are growing bored. Seem interested in someone else. Soon they will want to possess you physically, and restraint will go out the window. Create the illusion that the seducer is being seduced.

22. USE PHYSICAL LURES
Targets with active minds are dangerous: If they see through your manipulations, they may suddenly develop doubts. Put their minds gently to rest, and waken their dormant senses, by combining a non defensive attitude with a charged sexual presence. While your cool, nonchalant air is lowering their inhibitions, your glances, voice, and bearing-oozing sex and desire-are getting under their skin and raising their temperature. Never force the physical; instead infect your target with heat, lure them into lust. Morality, judgment, and concern for the future will melt away.

23. MASTER THE ART OF THE BOLD MOVE
A moment has arrived: Your victim clearly desires you, but is not ready to admit it openly, let alone act on it. This is time to throw aside chivalry, kindness, and coquetry and to overwhelm them with a bold move. Donï¿½t give the victim time to consider the consequences. Showing hesitation or awkwardness means you are thinking of yourself, as opposed to being overwhelmed by the victimï¿½s charms. One person must go on the offensive, and it is you.

24. BEWARE THE AFTEREFFECTS
Danger follows in the aftermath of a successful seduction. After emotions have reached a pitch, they often swing in the opposite direction-toward lassitude, distrust, disappointment. If you are to part, make the sacrifice swift and sudden. If you are to stay in a relationship, beware a flagging of energy, a creeping familiarity that will spoil the fantasy. A second seduction is required. Never let the other person take you for granted- use absence, create pain and conflict, to keep the seduced on tenterhooks

Below is an interview where Robert Greene discusses this book.

The Vintage Briefcase

2010-08-22T15:20:00.001-04:00

The Vintage Briefcase: "

Knit Ties (the Skinny)

2010-08-20T14:35:00.003-04:00

Judge Swagwire recommends adding 2-5 stylish but conservative Knit Ties (also called Skinny Knit Ties) to your wardrobe. Its an excellent piece to wear for business casual occasions like casual Friday, Weddings, dinner parties, and other events when you want to stick out. This tie will definitely separate you from the pack.

With these ties making a swift comeback, it will become harder to pick one out. The knit tie should be simple and conservative-- nothing too busy and distracting. If you want to dress it up and be bit more daring, you can add a matching handkerchief to it (see the pics below).

Stores that carry nice Knit Ties include: Brooks Brothers; Polo; J. Crew; and Nordstrom's.

Check out the pics below for ideas on wearing the knit tie...

Swagwire Recommends Carrera Sunglasses

2010-05-31T09:22:00.016-04:00

Carrera has been producing high-performance, sports, and everyday sunglasses since 1956. They mainly target the European market. Carrera is owned by Safilo Group, which also owns Smith, a high-performance sunglass brand targeted at the US. Carrera was first introduced in 1956 with ski goggles and glasses. They continued to expand over the years and now offer glasses and goggles for a wide range of extreme sports. The name itself is taken from an extreme sport – the Carrera Panamericana, an auto race that used to cross the entire country of Mexico. The Safilo Group was established in 1934 as an eyewear manufacturer dedicated to producing high-quality sunglasses and eyeglasses. Today, their sports lines are popular with skiers, snowboarders, bicyclists, mountain climbers, motorcross racers, and other athletes.

Hi-Performance

Sport-Fashion

Everyday

You may find that you need several pairs of Carrera sunglasses to suit both your sports and everyday needs.

Carrera's goal is to manufacture sunglasses that meet stringent technical and design requirements. Their glasses are sleek, sporty, and stylish both on and off the mountain, track, or road.

A pair of Carrera glasses are a worthwhile investment if you enjoy high-performance or extreme sports,. You'll get both the latest technology and the latest fashion in one sleek, high-tech design.

75 Things You Don't Know About Women

2010-03-28T20:31:00.001-04:00

From Esquire....Check it Out!
75 Things You Don't Know About Women

Posted using ShareThis

Gents: White Chocolate & Nuvo Party Style Alert

2010-03-13T19:22:00.011-05:00

Gents, Here we go!

The countdown begins for Speedhustle.com's first annual White Chocolate and Nuvo Party. Judge Swagwire wanted to give some tips on what to wear. First and foremost, BE YOU! If you are not first comfortable in your own skin, your Swagwire will be quickly negated. Second, be creative, don't just go to the store and purchase the first all white "outfit" that is your size! Feel free to mix and match brands and styles. The goal is to still stick out of the pack, even when everyone is wearing the same color. Last but not least, don't forget to accessorize your all white outfit. Ideas include a nice watch, fresh sunglasses, a fitted hat, kango, jewelry, or even a dapper tie!

Ok, I will holla for now. If you have any questions about the party or need anything, contact Dondeezy or Bigg Dogg Chico at events@speedhustle.com

15 Quick Tips to Always Buy the Perfect Shoes

2010-02-07T09:42:00.003-05:00

From Esquire. Check it Out!

15 Quick Tips to Always Buy the Perfect Shoes

Also check out this video:

About the Swagwire Book of the Week: SuperFreakonomics

2010-02-06T09:11:00.002-05:00

SuperFreakonomics: Global Cooling, Patriotic Prostitutes, and Why Suicide Bombers Should Buy Life Insurance

From Publishers Weekly

Economist Levitt and journalist Dubner capitalize on their megaselling Freakonomics with another effort to make the dismal science go gonzo. Freaky topics include the oldest profession (hookers charge less nowadays because the sexual revolution has produced so much free competition), money-hungry monkeys (yep, that involves prostitution, too) and the dunderheadedness of Al Gore.
There's not much substance to the authors' project of applying economics to all of life. Their method is to notice some contrarian statistic (adult seat belts are as effective as child-safety seats in preventing car-crash fatalities in children older than two), turn it into economics by tacking on a perfunctory cost-benefit analysis (seat belts are cheaper and more convenient) and append a libertarian sermonette (governments tend to prefer the costly-and-cumbersome route). The point of these lessons is to bolster the economist's view of people as rational actors, altruism as an illusion and government regulation as a folly of unintended consequences. The intellectual content is pretty thin, but it's spiked with the crowd-pleasing provocations—'A pimp's services are considerably more valuable than a realtor's' —that spell bestseller. (Nov.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

10 Things to Do With YOUR Tax Refund

2010-02-04T18:45:00.001-05:00

A few weeks ago, we did a post warning that SWAGGER IS LOST WHEN YOU TAKE A RAPID REFUND TAX LOAN.

As a follow-up, Judge Swagwire has scanned the internet and has chosen the below list as the Top Things to Do With YOUR Tax Refund.

We hope that you find these tips useful, and that you don't end up "forgetting" what happened to your 2009 tax refund check. Simply, you should have "something to show" for your refund.

1. Start an emergency fund. If you don’t have an emergency fund, consider opening a high-yield savings account and depositing your windfall for a rainy day. While it might not be enough to create a full-fledged emergency fund, it’ll be a good start. And if you already have an emergency fund, consider adding to it.

2. Pay down your debt. Whether it’s credit cards, an auto loan, or a student loan, you need to get that monkey of your back. So add your windfall to your debt snowball and keep on digging.

3. Invest in yourself. Use the money to cover tuition for a course about something that interests you, or which increases your earning potential.

4. Prepay your mortgage. Send your windfall to your mortgage lender. You’ll realize savings over the life of your loan, and you’ll own your house outright sooner than expected.

5. Refinance your mortgage. While refinancing your mortgage to a lower rate can result in substantial savings, you typically need to bring some cash to the table. In this case, your tax windfall could be just what the doctor ordered.

6. Fund your IRA. Did you know that you can have the IRS direct deposit your refund into your Roth, Traditional, or SEP-IRA? While it’s too late to arrange for that this year, it’s never too late to write a check to your IRA custodian when your refund arrives.

7. Invest in your children. Start a college fund for your kids. Whether it’s an Education Savings Account (ESA) or a 529 plan, there’s no time better than the present to get started.

8. Support your favorite charity. Not only does making a charitable donation help a worthy cause, it’s also deductible on next year’s taxes.

9. Add it to you “sunny day” fund. While emergency funds are all well and good, everyone needs a bit of fun and games every now and then. Why not set some aside for a future vacation or some other special expenditure?

10. Adjust your withholding. Last but certainly not least, you should consider adjusting your withholding so you don’t end up giving the government an interest free loan during the upcoming year.

If you have any other suggestions, please feel free to share them in the comments.

Sources:
fivecentnickel.com
wsjonline.com
bankrate.com

Beware: Tax Season Money Now Loans

2010-01-06T19:00:00.004-05:00

DO NOT GIVE AWAY YOUR HARD-EARNED MONEY BY ACCEPTING A SAME-DAY/RAPID REFUND LOAN!!!

With the new year comes tax season, and places offering same-day refunds in the form of loans may be tempting. However, consumer groups are warning that rapid refunds may be unnecessary and the quick money could be costly.

Julie Burbach could not wait to get her hands on her tax refund. As a struggling single mom, she signed up for Rapid Refund, a loan offered by H and R Block that gives tax refunds on the spot. When Burbach looked closer at the service, she couldn't believe how much it had cost her. "I don't think it's good. It's not right," Burbach said. The year before, H and R Block charged Burbach $201 for tax preparation and Rapid Refund fees. This year, it cost $342. "It took her about 10 minutes to do my taxes," Burbach said. Duane Schwarzbauer is a certified public accountant. "I'm assuming she was just focusing on the refund and probably didn't realize how much she was being charged," Schwarzbauer said. Schwarzbauer, who also prepares taxes, said customers can get fast refunds just by filing electronically with the IRS. "The computer takes the information, sends it right to the IRS computer and they get the refund within like two weeks, sometimes within eight days," Schwarzbauer said. Most people do get their refunds in two weeks. If you want your refund on the spot, the National Consumer Law Center said the average person will pay a 187 percent annual interest rate.

Judge Swagwire is against any form of a loan against your tax refund. Wait those 8-10 days for your refund check! Also, if you don't have any complicated financial situations like a business, then challenge yourself by preparing your own taxes. There is tax software like Tax Cut that is really easy to use.

About the Swagwire Book of the Week: The Naked Ape

2010-01-05T19:00:00.013-05:00

Desmond Morris wrote "The Naked Ape" in the late 1960's, and it is a classic which established the field of evolutionary anthropology. His ideas were revolutionary at the time, and he clearly says so. If there is a fault in the book, it is that he covers too much ground too quickly. I think his purpose at the time, however, was simply to condition the reader to thinking of people as an animal that has been subject to the forces of biological evolution on the Savannah for 98 percent of our evolution. Our species only formed farming communities 10,000 years ago. Much of Morris's conjecture has been turned into solid research in more recent years. For example, studies have found that males are sexually attracted to females having a waist/hips ratio of 0.7. This is universal among contemporary societies including primitive societies. When shown diagrams of women having different waist/hips ratios, male members of the primitive societies chose the 0.7 ratio and specifically indicated child bearing ability being linked to it. Females universally are attracted to males having a waist/hip ratio of 0.85.

"A startling view of man, stripped of the facade we try so hard to hide behind." In view of man's awesome creativity and resourcefulness, we may be inclined to regard him as descended from the angels, yet, in his brilliant study, Desmond Morris reminds us that man is relative to the apes--is in fact, the greatest primate of all. With knowledge gleaned from primate ethnology, zoologist Morris examines sex, child-rearing, exploratory habits, fighting, feeding, and much more to establish our surprising bonds to the animal kingdom and add substance to the discussion that has provoked controversy and debate the world over. Natural History Magazine praised The Naked Ape as "stimulating . . . thought-provoking . . . [Morris] has introduced some novel and challenging ideas and speculations." "He minces no words," said Harper's. "He lets off nothing in our basic relation to the animal kingdom to which we belong. . . He is always specific, startling, but logical."

Swagwire, Shoes, and Saving Money

2010-01-04T21:50:00.003-05:00

So much is to be said about a man based solely upon the quality of his shoe. I think many of us get the message of buying a good quality shoe. But, few of us realize the long-term value that we should get by doing so. There is more to a $300 pair of shoes than how they look. A nice pair of shoes should last you 5-10 years and save you hundreds of dollars in the long run (verses purchasing a pair of nice looking $65 shoes).

You will only realize this value with proper care and maintenance. Below are before and after pictures of my favorite pair of Johnston Murphy shoes (already 4 years old and purchased for $295). Every 6 months, they look like they should be trash can bound, but with about 35 minutes of work, I bring them back to life.

You will notice that they look like they are on sale in the store again. I did this using just 2 products: Kiwi shoe polish and some brown edge dressing. The edge dressing is for painting the sole of the shoes. I use the Kiwi shoe shine with a touch of water. Again, getting them to look like this takes about 35 minutes, but saves a lot of money. About every 9 months to a year, I have to take these shoes to a shoe shop to get the sole replaced which costs about $30, but again this is saving money. I will easily have this pair of shoes for 10 years.

Was my $300 wasteful, or was it an investment? Definitely an investment, but only with the proper maintenance and care.

Swagwire Scripted Moments 2.1: Attending an Event

2009-12-20T18:59:00.004-05:00

For those new to Swagwire, a "Scripted Moment" is one that you have prepared for in advance. You have pregamed it in your head several times, and when that moment comes, you say something or do something just right and it comes off so naturally that it seems like you have done it a million times.

Today's topic is attending an event. The source of much anxiety and awkwardness, it is no secret that we can feel like we are at home when we are at the club, but when it comes to attending a "professional" or formal event, we can freeze up. Thus, Judge Swagwire presents 5 scripted moments for attending a professional or formal event.

Script Your Attire. The only way that you will feel comfortable is if you are first comfortable in your "own skin." The invitation you received likely includes the prescribed attire. Make sure you understand what this means. If you are unclear, simply Google the term and there will be many guidelines. Also, know what the prescribed attire means for your date. It is your job to know this for her in case she asks. Don't wait until the last minute! At least two weeks before the event try on your full outfit (dress rehearsal). Look yourself over in a full length mirror. If everything is to your liking, look in the mirror and tell yourself that you will be the flyest guy there. Doing this prevents last minute hang-ups. How can you have a great social night if you find out an hour before the event that you have a missing button or that your pants need to be tailored. Therefore, this dress rehearsal is essential. Addressing your attire upfront is about more than looking good. Making sure your attire is squared away will put a whole bunch of unnecessary stress and anxiety to the side. You will show up CONFIDENT because, at a minimum, you know you look the part. You MUST script your attire in advance and walk in knowing you are Swagwire status. If your attire fails the test, you will NOT have a good night.
Script introductions. If this is a company event, you should be looking to introduce your date to at least 8 people. As a rule of thumb at least: 2 people who are subordinate to you; 3 of your peers; and 3 people who are senior to you. You should have these 8 introductions memorized. You will start with introductions to your peers/subordinates, since all the brown-nosers will make a mad dash to bomb-rush the senior people. When introducing your date to subordinates/peers, introduce them TO your date (i.e. John, this is my wife, Mrs. Swagwire). When introducing your date to seniors, introduce your date TO the senior person (Mrs. Swagwire, this is Mr. Bigtime, the Chairman of the company). For each of these introductions, have a SHORT anecdote for the person. For instance, if you are introducing your date to the receptionist, say something like: "Sarah, this is my wife Kim." Then turn to your date and say something like, "Kim, I can't tell you how many times Sarah has bailed me out by showing me...." Again, this is scripted. When dealing with seniors be short and quick. However, be very careful to make great conversation with the senior person's spouse. Most people will forget to even recognize the senior person's spouse. The goal is to impress "senior person's spouse." As they ride home, you want senior person's spouse to say, "that guy Swagwire was really nice." Well actually, it wasn't that you were nicer than everyone else, you were one of the few people who took the time to make conversation with senior person's spouse.
Script your hand shake and smile when meeting people. You will be surprised to see how many people do not give firm handshakes. Pay close attention after reading this post and watch how many sloppy handshakes you get (i.e. someone shaking your hand but only clasping your fingers instead of your palm). You can insure a firm handshake by giving the person a good target. Extend your hand in a good form and make it easy for that person to give you a good firm grip. While extending your hand, smile and say "Hi I'm Swagwire." Say it upbeat and enthusiastic but be yourself. Hold your hand slightly higher than you think the person will hold theirs. This (sub-consciously) establishes dominance and will give you confidence without you realizing it because the brain takes this as if you are embracing this person and giving your energy to them. Thus, a firm handshake and an upbeat attitude has the power of sending an interaction into the right direction. You will stick out and that person will remember you. If you don't already apply firm handshakes, start practicing it in the days and weeks leading up to the event. Whenever you see a person for the first time, extend your hand with an upbeat attitude and give them a firm handshake. You will quickly make this a habit because you will start noticing how it gives you confidence and allows you to set the tone of your interactions with people. If you try this, I guarantee you that giving firm handshakes will become addictive and it will become a lifelong habit that will take you way beyond this event.
Script your small talk. If you are shy, you WILL NOT be the shyest person there. Look around the room and find a person who is socially awkward (they will stick out like a sore thumb). Go up to that person and start a conversation. Because you are more outgoing, talking to this person will be easy and will build your confidence. Ask that person open ended questions that will keep the conversation going. Have 3-4 things in mind that you can talk about. The latest sports game. The food at the party. The music. Basically any topic that will keep the conversation going and interesting. Steer clear of topics like politics and religion. Also, don't use this as a chance to talk about your personal tragedy or triumph. A lot of people who have gotten over a personal tragedy or triumph use that situation to define them and makes that the topic of their conversation when they get nervous. This is not the time to talk about how you were passed over for a promotion or some other sob story. Keep moving around a mingling and be self sufficient. Don't depend on the event program or others in order to have a good time. Use this event as an opportunity to meet new people, gain experience at being outgoing and social, and have fun. Try not to bring up work. This is a chance to get to know your colleagues on a personal level and to also give them a chance to know you. If someone can remember liking you as a person, then it may payoff inside the office later. Lastly, as it relates to smalltalk, have closings. Don't corner someone and try to talk to them all night. Excuse yourself to go get a drink or to the restroom. Before walking off, remind that person of why the conversation was valuable. Instead of the normal "nice to meet you," say something different like, "it was great meeting you John, I will be sure to make reservations at that nice restaurant you mentioned and I will follow up with you to let you know what I think-- enjoy the rest of your evening...Here is my card in case you ever need to reach me about XYZ." In general, always try to do this instead of just walking off and saying "nice to meet you."
Lastly, script your drinking. This is not the time to show your office mates that you can knock 'em back. No matter how "cool" your office may be, in my opinion, you loose all credibility if your office mates have witnessed you intoxicated. Your best friend in the office may go to a competitor company and 5 years from now, your "cool" drinking pal in the office may be sitting across the negotiating table from you. What credibility do you have if that person has watched you slam back a shot. While we are on the topic of behavior, please remember the phrase "DON'T BE THAT GUY." At every company, there is someone who makes a fool of themselves at the company event. That person usually gets talked about all the way until next year's holiday party until someone else becomes "that" guy. In some cases, the same person holds the title of "that" guy for multiple years. There is a legend of a person who started out at a company in the mailroom who was "that" guy. By the time he retired 30 years later, he was still "that" guy and was still in the mailroom. Have a few drinks. Don't be antisocial. Drink a non-alcoholic beverage between each of those few drinks, and make sure your are not "that" guy.

I hope these tips assist you in attending those events.... Stay true to your inner SWAGWIRE!