sweet kuno

Love Each Other

2026-06-18T06:13:45.532+08:00

After the morning discussion, I felt enraged. I was so angry. I felt rejected, unwanted. I felt unimportant, insignificant. I felt I was cast aside. I had so much emotions in me that I had trouble making conversation. I couldn't take it anymore. I needed to get out of the house. I ended up walking for more than 2 hours in the forest.

Just that morning, I started my day with a beautiful prayer (from Lectio 365 morning prayer).

"Is there someone in my life or a category of people that I define by some lesser measure than the far-reaching arms of God's love?
Jesus, who am I subtly or overtly imagining by a lesser measure than unending grace? I humbly repent and ask for your compassion to wash over my mercilessness."

And then I read Psalm 73

[2] But as for me, my feet had almost slipped; I had nearly lost my foothold. [3] For I envied the arrogant when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.

[21] When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, [22] I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you. [23] Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. [24] You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. [25] Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. [26] My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

So I resolved myself to be kind to the people who I struggle to love. This is the perfect time to, once and for all, really forgive and forget, especially since we are wrapping up.

And then the morning's discussion turned south. When the ship is sinking, people just become mean. Every action and decision are just cutthroat motives. To be seen and to make oneself known. And it didn't matter if people are being stepped upon. People are just in survival mode. Fierce competition and disregard for others. Humanity felt thrown out of the window.

With my bottle of water, I stomped out of the house. It felt unfair to my family to bear the brunt of my rage. So before I did that, I left.

All these emotions were just welling up inside me. I felt like crying and I felt like shouting. I was just so angry. All the scenes that took place and all the words said just kept on replaying in my mind over and over again.

After a while, my attention got diverted. I went through this narrow path and I was so annoyed at the shrubs sticking out, rubbing against my bare legs. Ugh! I was angrily focused on the shrubs, and trying to avoid them.

My neck felt tight from looking down on the path, and so I looked up. I saw the blue sky. I then started hearing the rustling of the leaves. The soft breeze of the air. The humming of the birds. I noticed blueberry shrubs growing around. And how beautiful the moss as it covered the ground around the pine trees. I was in the middle of the forest, and I felt the anger slowly ebbing away.

As I reached home, I said sorry to Manong, hugged him, and then cried. And then ranted about how unfair everything was. And ranted some more.

And before going to bed, I asked the Lord for forgiveness. For giving in into that human frailty, and being tempted to be angry. For not loving the people around me. For failing to forgive them, and being kind to them.

The Lord then whispered these verses from John 15 as I opened my bible app

[9] As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. [10] If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. [11] I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. [12] My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.

Marriage Story

2026-06-11T05:57:18.919+08:00

Photo taken by Alan Mercado during our 3rd year anniversary renewal of vows at Dakak Resort, Dapitan City.
December 30, 2010.

So I finally managed to watch the Marriage Story. I've been putting it off for a while. I knew it would break my heart, and I felt I need to watch it when I'm emotionally stronger. And tonight I finally watched it.

Marriage Story depicts so many fallen marriages. Couples started out very much in love but during the course of the marriage, each partner started feeling frustrated, unhappy, and bitter which eventually leads to having all that negative emotions just taking over.

I've witnessed so many marriages falling into this trap of unhappiness. Admittedly, ours did. It's typical of marriages to have its ups and downs. And some just do not know how to fix it, and later calling it quits.

What really helped saved ours was communication (with a lot of prayers). There were so many times in the past that I wanted to give up. And then we would decide to try, and then the cycle went on. For every iteration this happened, we learned something new.

(Sorry, can't help thinking about sprints and retros hahaha! 😂😂😂)

We finally learned to be honest with each other. To really unearth our deepest emotions and to really talk about it. Say it out loud to each other. And to be kind and loving, and understanding and forgiving. It took so much courage, especially coming from a culture where one is expected to bottle up all the negative stuff.

It took courage. It still takes courage. But it has to be said, otherwise it will be like poison spreading all that negativity within, that eventually all you see is just the negative side of things.

One important thing I learned is that no one can read minds. We can be completely ignorant of the other's feelings. Sometimes we assume our partner is already aware but is just ignoring how we feel. Either way, this paves for a lot of misunderstandings. It is really important to say if you felt offended, ignored, or had been done wrong.

BUT! Say it kindly and lovingly. This is super hard for me to do but I ask Manong to also understand me if I can't express it lovingly to him. It also helps to cool down before talking about it. So I tried to sort out first how I feel before I talk about it. Do not let hurtful and damaging words pass between you. Apologize.

It is equally important to take time to relearn to love each other. Take small moments together and renew that fire. As simple as hugging while watching TV. Or even holding hands while walking. Taking time to have a date when it meant a walk in the forest, without fancy dinners or fancy get ups. Just raw talk between the two of you. Or do fancy get ups! Especially when you go out celebrate special occasions, or might be no reason but just going out for fun.

I love taking Manong out to fancy dinners because I know how much he appreciates it. And he loves travelling with me because he knows how much I enjoy it. Take the initiative. Take your partner out on a date! I take Manong out on a date.

Express how you feel. BUT at the end of the day, learn how to accept. Acceptance is very crucial. Accept who he is, and accept who I am. Accept that I always nag and gets stressed so easily. Accept that I want things done the way I want it done. Accept that he wants to sleep in during weekends, and acts nonchalant even when the world is turning upside down (or at least, from my perspective, the world has already turned upside down 😅). If your partner changes, well and good. BUT otherwise, do not expect.

For those looking for partners, my advice is to find someone you can talk to for hours and hours. It is what makes that spark. For me, that's what make a relationship sexy.

We're turning 19 years this December. We still have a lifetime ahead of us. I'm excited to see what's up ahead.

Always take time for each other. And when the going gets tough, remember the qualities that made you fall in love. Remember the happy and fun memories together. Remember why you chose to spend your life with him or her.

And for Manong and me, it is really important to have God in our midst. It makes such a huge difference.

Petty Pity Party

2025-11-10T23:31:00.007+08:00

This was last July 15, while Manong and I were roaming around Museum Island in Berlin. Our flight was late Saturday afternoon so we had the whole morning to enjoy Berlin. Manong was sulky and grumpy because it was very warm, and there was not much to see. I left him somewhere as my patience wore thin, before I did anything rash. Instead I took pictures while marvelling at the splendid architecture around me.

There are days when we are tested by the circumstances around us. What usually makes me grumble at home is when I "find myself doing more things" when in fact, each of us have assignments and tasks so we can maintain a clean and orderly living space. There were times I would be surly that everyone would be affected, ending our whole day ruined.

I remembered Pastor Chantel talking about how she had a pity party, crying inside a closet when none of the kids or her husband appreciated her juggling everything, while her husband was sick in bed, and no one to help her with the young ones, and on top of work.

I can imagine myself in this situation while the kids were still small, and there was work, house chores, while being a wife, a friend, or be involved in different communities.

Life can get so overwhelming; drowning with all the stress and flurries of activities around us that we end up burning ourselves out.

We can't carry all these when we rely on our own strengths. It's really important to always remember that in everything we do, to ask God to be with us.

Pray.

Asking the Holy Spirit to strengthen us, and fill us. To help us, guide us, lead us and sustain us.

Whenever I start spiralling down into the pit of a petty pity party, I pause and pray. Closing my eyes, taking a deep breath, I ask the Holy Spirit to empty me of this world, and to fill me.

With the Holy Spirit in me, I can control what is within my sphere of influence. I can opt to let the negative emotions go. Be more understanding why my boys did not wake up early to help me clean the house. Be more loving and patient. This way, I can tell them lovingly to help me when they start waking up.

We can control our reactions. Without the Holy Spirit, it would be so easy to be angry, to say hurtful things, and be mean to the people around you, people you love.

When someone said, "You're getting fat". Well... it is someone's observation, and most likely is true. Don't get offended. Acknowledge it. If you feel unhealthy, work it out. Walk. Any movement is always good anyways 😄💪

When you feel someone demands too much of you, opt to say no. Prioritize. Remember saying yes to something means you are saying no to something else.

Pray.

Seek the Lord, seek His guidance.

We can live a purpose-driven, peaceful and joyful life if we let the Holy Spirit in, and let the negative emotions go.

Psalm 51:10-12 (NIV)

Create in me a pure heart, O God,
    and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me from your presence
    or take your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation
    and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

And so before I ruined our free day at Berlin, I invited Manong to eat the "best currywurst" and the "best ice cream" in Berlin. He was happy to go on a train ride with me to the other side of the town 😎😍

Rainbows and God's Faithfulness

2025-10-13T18:56:00.004+08:00

My prayer for this year is to have FIRM confidence and COMPLETE faith in the Lord in all of the different aspects of my life. This includes work and colleagues.

Don't get me wrong. I so love what I do, and especially the company I currently work for. Our company prides itself as the "world's most fashionable tech company". 🤔

I love the technology and the skills that I've learned so far, and are still learning. I love the the flexibility it offers in terms of work responsibilities and areas of growth. As I keep on telling people, it is my dream job.

But as in every corner of our life, there are always different challenges that comes along. For privacy's sake, I won't go into the details but because of it, I struggle to find joy in my work.💔

Lord, is this where you really want me to be right now? What is my calling in this place?

Every time I am faced with this challenge, the fruits of the Spirit disappear. I turn into a different person. I hate to admit it, but at times I turn into a person which I don't seem to like. Why is this? I found myself in a dark place. A winding, foggy road where I can't see what's ahead.

Remembering what I prayed for this year - FIRM confidence and COMPLETE faith in the Lord. Is this your way of telling me to give up control, Father? Your way of reprimanding me of being too proud? Your way of humbling me? Your way of reminding to let go of "idols"? Your way of fixing me, and correcting my relationships at work?

This week, I was reminded in Psalm 139:23-24 (NIV)

Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.

As Manong and I were in one of our walks, I looked up to the sky, rekindling my awe of the wonders of our Lord. And then I saw the rainbow. I remembered God's promise to Noah in Genesis 9:13 (NIV)

I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth.

And this morning, I was reminded again in Psalm 111:4-5 (NLT)

He causes us to remember his wonderful works.
How gracious and merciful is our Lord!
He gives food to those who fear him;
he always remembers his covenant.

Thank you Father for your promises!

I may not still see where I'm supposed to go but Jesus walks in front of me, and beside me. I just need to give it all up to Him, and He will do the rest.

Isaiah 55:8-9 (NIV)

For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
    neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so are my ways higher than your ways
    and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Please pray with me: God would You reveal Yourself in my workplace, through me and my colleagues. In Jesus' name, amen.

1 Peter 5:7 (NIV)

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

The Berlin Wall

2025-07-24T16:20:00.003+08:00

I usually walk past the Berlin Wall whenever I'm in Berlin for a business trip. The Zalando campus is just close to the wall, and in fact, my department's building is just beside the Uber Arena.

(The Zalando campus in Berlin consists of 5 buildings AFAIK, of which some of the buildings are structured to represent letters, eg BHQ-X, the Zalando Headquarters, is shaped like an X. The building architectures are really designed to boast the city's artistic spirit. But this is beside the point.)

Going back to the topic... When I walked past the walls just last week, a lot of tourists were taking pictures of the wall, scrutinizing the art walls, and just do tourist things people do when they go to a famous landmark.

But I wonder, when they look at the walls, what do they actually see? Do they see the art? Or do they see what these walls used to symbolize?

I first visited the Berlin Wall last July 2016 when Mama Merlyn (Manong's mom) came to visit us. There were not much buildings around then, so you could actually feel the strength of the Berlin Wall. Yes, the paintings were there already but it made such a contrast to what the wall represented that it highlighted the cage that it symbolized.

Nowadays, I don't feel that anymore. Or maybe because I've walked along it quite often that I have taken for granted the meaning of the wall.

It was supposed to help people remember the wrongs of the past, and the confinement and oppression it brought to the society. Somehow, this wall has not stood to what it's supposed to remind us. We now see the rise of the same mentality that brought this wall up.

I sincerely hope that we see these symbols for what it was. The importance of why we need to keep our history and heritage preserved is so that our future generation will learn from our mistakes.

But then again, we humans, we prefer to make our own mistakes and learn from it, do we...?

Firm Confidence and Complete Faith

2025-05-26T15:53:00.008+08:00

Last year, all of my prayers were answered. Thank you, God! Thank you Jesus! This year, I prayed big. So big, that I prayed the Lord to teach me how have firm confidence and complete faith in Him 💖💕💗

Beginning of the year, I immediately had to climb a very high mountain. My dad was diagnosed with stage 3 colon cancer. He needed to have an operation as soon as possible because the tumor was blocking his colon. I really learned the joy of giving all my fears and worries up to the Lord. Others might find it strange when I say "joy". Why would I be joyous when my dad is going through such a struggle? Knowing full well our God is in control of the situation; trusting that He has plans for my dad, for us as a family, whatever it is... I completely trusted His plans.

I have learnt that He provides all that we need. Our God brought a medical team very capable of performing the surgery. I didn't think about the cost, how and where to get it. He faithfully provided. He never leaves us wanting. He provides, amen! We pooled in resources from family and friends, and even politicians. We are so blessed to be surrounded by people willing to help us cover the hospital bills and the post ops medicines.

Truly thankful that the operation was successful, and that everything went well. Thank You, Father! He is recovering from his operation, and is still yet to consult an oncologist. The journey is not yet over but God has been there all along with my dad.

But the journey of having "firm confidence and complete faith" has been up and down. I realized I can lift it all up to Him with things I can't control. With circumstances within my reach and my control, I still struggle to learn to give it all up to Him. The enemy still attacks me from time to time. But I know the Holy Spirit is helping me, guiding me, protecting me. Often times, I struggle with pride and stubbornness. I sometimes turn a deaf ear to His words.

And these past few days, words from God taught me yet again about faith and faithfulness. I was reminded to surrender everything. EVERYTHING! Father, teach me! Holy Spirit guide me. Thank you Jesus for reminding me with your words (Luke 14:25-33). Thank you for sending angels that remind me every step of the way.

As I start a new work week, I look up to you and surrender! Amen!

from When Wind Meets Fire by Elevation Worship

This is a moment when wind meets fire
Come on in
Our hearts are burning for fresh revival
Blow again
This is a moment when wind meets fire
Come on in
Our hеarts are burning for fresh revival
Blow again

Our God is consuming firе
Our God is a Holy wind
Whatever You speak is done
Whatever You touch will live
Our God is consuming fire
Our God is a holy wind
Whatever You speak is done
Whatever You touch will live
Whatever You speak is done
Whatever You touch will live

Provisions

2025-01-06T01:49:00.005+08:00

End of 2024 has taught me a lot about trusting God for provisions.

If you know me, I'm the kind of person who always plans and wants things to be in order (otherwise, known as a control freak 😅 ). I've always prided myself of how well I have taken good care of our finances. But there are just some events that derail things from what you plan.

There were some bad decisions and there were some selfish decisions. And then there were some unforeseen circumstances which took a big chunk of our resources. After all of these, well, we ended up with just the amount we need to get by, and less than what we used to have.

Every time I'm left with just a portion of our finances, there is worry at the back of my mind. Surprisingly, though, I don't worry as much. I remembered being in the same situation while we were still living in the Philippines. I got into a big fight with Manong because of our financial situation. Well, it was more of me lashing at him but you get the picture 😅 He confronted me about my being worrywart, which he said was totally unnecessary.

Every time we have to shell out resources, I would say, "Our funds are dwindling". Manong would then remind me, "God will provide". Indeed, God has never left me wanting! It's just me who always worry, thinking too far into the future. But the Lord has never forsaken me, nor has broken His promises to me. He is always there.

As I drank coffee today while looking outside our window, I saw these birds feeding on the fruits of our hedge. These conversations came back to mind, and then I remembered Matthew 6:25-34

Do Not Worry

25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[a]?

28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

It really is just our stubbornness that brings us troubles. God has always assured me but time and time, I fail to remember His promises. And so, He reminded me.

Loom

2025-01-03T08:37:00.005+08:00

I see the signs

They're subtle but I'm not blind

I know how much you try to hold on

Waiting, I guess, until all is gone

I can't let go

There's still a lot of fight in me, I know

Even if deep down what you want I lack

I will just enjoy what we have

I thought we were perfect

But now we find ourselves at a crossroads

It's as if we don't seem to fit

Love isn't enough despite the efforts

The arguments never cease

There's no more understanding and patience

There's just heartaches and silent tears

The rift between us does not disappear

The future looms over us

We try to hold on, no matter what

But for now, everything is calm

Trying not to think of what is to come

Ang Magandang Christmas Tree

2024-12-20T02:13:00.010+08:00

While growing up, it was common to have DIY Christmas trees at home. Now, I know for those of you who have never been to Philippines, you'd wonder "what, DIY?!" 😅

Pine trees are found in Philippine highlands, hence making this unavailable for most households, and as well, expensive to acquire one. I don't know if it was expensive way back then to buy even the plastic ones, or maybe they just were not available during that time. We've always had this 2 feet tall (around 61 cm) Christmas tree put out every Christmas. What was more common, though, among other households were to have these DIY Christmas trees.

How to make these Christmas trees. First, gather long and thick branches and bunch them together. Put them in a pot, or a big can, such as a paint can or a milk can. Place stones in the can to hold the branches and make it stable. Wrap this container with a Christmas wrapper.

There are different ways to decorate the tree, depending on how much material you have, or could afford --

Option 1: Glue the branches with japanese paper. Or else can be left bare.

Option 2: Tie the branches with white plastic bags (This would be tons of plastic bags 😳)

Option 3: Use Perla to make bubble soap to cover the tree

Option 4: Mix different food colorings with water. Place these in ice candy wrappers, and hang them on the tree

My favorite was making bubble soaps out of Perla. It was so fun! While decorating, we would throw the bubble soap at each other. So it would be a lot of Perla bars to use!

Since I've never seen snow up until I came to Sweden, the funniest thing is that I've always thought that these white things on the branches of trees and shrubs grow during winter! I've never really associated them as snow! 😂😂😂 I think I've only come to realize some years later. After coming to Sweden, I now know what we were trying to imitate then 🙈🙈🙈

Whenever I see these snow perched on top of these branches, I looked back during my childhood years and reminisce the fun I had with homemade Christmas trees.

Do you have such memories of Christmas?

Wishing everyone a merry, fun-filled and meaningful Christmas! 🎄🎄🎄

A Good Cry

2024-12-11T04:11:00.013+08:00

Sometimes a good cry is all you need

When on a day, everything feels like a struggle

When on a day, you are swamped and overwhelmed

Things here and there needing to be juggled

Often a good cry is all you need

When things just go astray

When there are just endless worries

As if these stresses you cannot drive away

Usually a good cry is all you need

When there is nowhere to go

Stuck and it feels like no one to lead

No one to pull you through

And always a good cry is all you need

When you realize there is He who loves us

When my rest is on Him and no one else

My Provider, my healer, in Him I trust

Thank You, Father for this relief

Healing Power of Nature Walks

2024-11-27T16:47:00.005+08:00

The devotional I read this morning talked about gratitude. It challenged me to take a walk outdoors, and be at awe with God's creation; to be reminded of our dependence to God, by breathing in air and letting our spirit be filled with His blessings.

When we started walking, I was catching my breath 😩 I've been neglecting my daily movement, so my body had a hard time coping up with the physical activity. As soon as I got over the sluggishness, I started doing my gratitude walk. Or at least try.

In the beginning, it was so hard to disengage my thoughts from work. My brain was still trying to solve the problem I just left behind. I started doing the breathing prayer - inhale "Your Grace is sufficient", exhale "thank You for the air I breathe". But still, work kept on interrupting. I continued this exercise until I was solely focused on my prayer.

And then I started my gratitude prayer:

Thank You, Father, for providing us this small patch of forest so we can clear our minds, to have a space to move, and just be at peace.

Thank You for the fresh air that I breathe in.

Thank You for the beauty around me. The bare branches, the leaves on the ground, the winter fruits that give contrast to the dull colors.

Thank You, Father, for this time to be with You in silence.

(As I looked at Manong ahead of me) Thank You, Father, for blessing me with a partner that walks with me through thick and thin.

(As we passed by the football fields) Thank You, Father, for providing our village with an artificial turf football field (sv. konstgräsplan) so the kids did not need to travel far for practices.

(As I look up to the sky) Thank You for Your creation! The sky, the trees, the birds!

(As we reach home) Thank You, Father for your provisions.

Thank You for the sunny weather. If it weren't for that, we would be frozen due to lack of heating. (Heating pipes on our area were being fixed so we didn't have hot water from 08.00 - 16.00)

With my mind, spirit and body refreshed, I was ready to resume my day.

Let It Snow!

2024-11-22T15:18:00.001+08:00

The first snowfall fell this week. It made the dark, gray, dreary surrounding bright and beautiful 😍 I love snow. I love watching it float and fall to the ground. There's something mesmerizing about watching snowfalls.

Coming from a tropical country, the winter used to be a strange and alien concept to me. I used to dread it whenever the -ber months start. I would go out with layers upon layers of clothes even when it was still above 10C 😂 I would coop up at home, and as much as possible stayed close to the heaters to keep me warm.

So what changed? We went to Abisko for a week, and it was just below -20C every day! It was a small town north of Sweden, and we were there to watch the northern lights. Oh, the northern lights were just amazing! A wonder of God's creation! But that's another story to tell 😊 So during the day, we had nothing to do except do winter activities. We went sleighing with the huskies. Or else, just walk at the nearby park where everything was so cold but very beautiful.

Upon the onset of late autumn, the long days of darkness and the bleakness around makes one sad (so don't forget to take your vitamin D!). As said, it is dark, gray and dreary 😩 But with snow, everything is bright and light. It gives a feeling of hope and a sense of happiness. I guess commuters are not so happy with the hassles and delays that snow brings but nonetheless, it is a sight to behold ☃❆

And this was one of my life lessons. Wherever God brings you, enjoy it, through the tough times and the good. You were brought there for a purpose. And if you let yourself be brought down because of your circumstances and your surroundings, you just let yourself got defeated. If you could only look beyond what's in front of you, there is so much joy and love to see.

Happy winter!

I am a Woman and I am Going through Menopause

2024-11-11T01:21:00.004+08:00

It's not easy being a woman. For most, the menstrual cycle is a series of ups and downs, and for some, even extreme pains. When the blessing of pregnancy comes, the surge of hormones and body changes happen. If one is not careful, it's so easy to get lost in a spiral of things like post partum depression, weight issues, and even health issues like developing diabetes. And then, of course, there is perimenopause and menopause.

Such a long list! Oh, to be a woman! 💪💖

I've said this a countless times, and even in my other blogs, the past weeks have been rough. My anxiety level was super high. My emotions were just going bananas. I would break down at the smallest things. My kids would see me during my attacks - unable to breathe, crying like crazy. Even my colleagues would witness my outbursts - in meetings and in discussions. It was super tough.

A few weeks back, I could just not disengage myself from the events of my day. My sleep was interrupted of conversations that happened that day, or even the problems I was working on at work! I just felt ready to give up, ready to quit. It would have been so easy!

Friday night, on All Saints' Day, we went to church for Worship Night. I cried and sang my troubles out. I realized I needed help. I then asked my prayer warriors to pray for me. Their words of encouragement and daily reminders helped me kept going.

I also started a new course with my Lifegroup - Practicing the Way. Session 1 has talked about setting aside time to read and listen to God's words, as well as, pray and meditate. With the help of devotional apps, I have been doing my quiet time more deeply.

The weather has not helped. The cold and lack of movement had contributed much to my tension headache. It started getting dark early in the afternoon; this time at around 4:00PM, or even earlier. Sunrise is at 7:30AM 🌥. So I went back to my home exercise, to let all those sweat out. I started taking my vitamins D and my affron supplements to help me combat the sluggishness and stress.

The overwhelming beating of my heart has slowly steadied. I still cry or hyperventilate at times, but not as much.

It's challenging to try not to be emotional, especially at work and when I work mostly with men (I am the only female in a 10-man team). It's hard to explain that what I'm going through are hormones. It's such a hush-hush topic, and even rarely discussed between women. That should not be the case. We women, who knows what we're going through need to help each other. Understand each other, support each other. We need to let our partners and loved ones understand so they can support us during this rollercoaster ride. Happy to have a husband who hold hands with me, even if he gets tossed along the ride.

Most of all, it is important to trust God with all of these struggles. He is our refuge and our strength. No matter what the circumstances, He is our champion. As the prayer Psalm 136 goes

Thank God! He deserves your thanks.
    His love never quits.
Thank the God of all gods,
    His love never quits.
Thank the Lord of all lords.
    His love never quits.

Thank the miracle-working God,
    His love never quits.
The God whose skill formed the cosmos,
    His love never quits.
The God who laid out earth on ocean foundations,
    His love never quits.
The God who filled the skies with light,
    His love never quits.
The sun to watch over the day,
    His love never quits.
Moon and stars as guardians of the night,
    His love never quits.

God remembered us when we were down,
    His love never quits.
Rescued us from the trampling boot,
    His love never quits.
Takes care of everyone in time of need.
    His love never quits.
Thank God, who did it all!
    His love never quits!

Miracles

2024-10-28T05:39:00.002+08:00

Today, God has shown how He works miracles in our lives. He has shown that we only need to put our faith and trust in Him. In His own time, He will unveil His plans for us. And oh such grand plans He apparently has for us!

Oftentimes, we don't understand what He intends for us. We are thrown into turmoil; confused and lost. We lose hope. But all of these that we go through, God is working to mold us.

As well, today, He has spoken and touched hearts. He has definitely touched mine. Luke's sermon today was about spiritual exhaustion, and how it attacks our will. If we rely on our own strength, nothing good will come out of it. Only suffering. You wake up every morning, dragging yourself to work, to whatever it is you're supposed to do. Uninspired, discouraged, exhausted.

But if you have faith, and put your trust in the Lord, no matter how heavy the burden is, you will wake up everyday with joy in your hearts. Assured that God is with you, every step of the way. We need to have our inner foundation secure and strong, so that whenever storm hits us, we stand still against it.

Reminded today, I surrendered all my worries and anxieties, lifting my hands to Him. I start fresh and renewed because of today's miracles.

What a blessing it is to have this growing community of believers!

Isaiah 40:28-31

28 Do you not know?
    Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
    the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
    and his understanding no one can fathom.
29 He gives strength to the weary
    and increases the power of the weak.
30 Even youths grow tired and weary,
    and young men stumble and fall;
31 but those who hope in the Lord
    will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
    they will run and not grow weary,
    they will walk and not be faint.

And so, we with our hearts full, the whole family played and sang Waymaker 😍 Kuya Zeke learned how to play bass. All of us just learning the chords today. Zach, well, he already knew the song by heart 💕💖

Discontentment

2024-10-20T23:19:00.006+08:00

I remembered looking at this gumamela flower. The flower was starting to wilt, the color fading. It was sort of trying to hold on but it looked rather tired. It reflected how I felt then.

The past few weeks were super hectic. At work, and even at home. I felt stretched. Travelling to Stockholm every Mondays and Tuesdays, dealing with colleagues whom I sometimes don't see eye to eye. Chores at home never seemed to end, dishes to wash, clothes to laundry, rooms to clean. Kids were supposed to help but you know kids, they need to be reminded to do their tasks. Then there were other worries, aging and ailing elders, frustrations over not having clarity of their ailments. So on and so forth.

My patience was often at its limits. I struggled to end the day with joy. Life just got to me. And so often when we go through life with all these little yet countless things that we juggle with, it ends with us feeling overwhelmed and burdened. This feeling of discontentment slowly attacks and poisons our well-being.

A friend has recently recommended a devotional app, and surprisingly enough, the theme for that week was about discontentment. It helped me navigate through my emotions and struggles.

There were moments when the messages did not quite reach my heart. I was just reading through. But because I have a community that prays with me, these angels help me open my eyes and understand better what God was saying to me.

It's so amazing how God find ways to speak to us. When our mind is so clouded, He sends angels in different forms. With St Patrick's prayer resonating through this --

Lord, be with us this day,
Within us to purify us;
Above us to draw us up;
Beneath us to sustain us;
Before us to lead us;
Behind us to restrain us;
Around us to protect us.

These hurdles will always come our way. When we put our trust and faith in God, we will overcome these obstacles, no matter how big or small they are. Life is not easy but because of His promises for a better future, everything becomes negligible.

Faith Through the Storm

2024-10-16T12:34:00.019+08:00

My heart is troubled, Father

There is a raging storm within

Calm the waves that takes over

In Your promises, I hold on and cling

Sail with me, Father, through this storm

My boat is rocked and I'm afraid

Oh Father, by Your grace, help me to stay strong

For these doubts and fear to fade

Unable to breath through the darkness

It sucks away the joy and hope

I grappled for You in this fury

Running out of strength for me to hold on

But deep in my heart, I know

You are always there to see me through

For You have promised strength and hope

Armed with faith, in and through this storm with You, I will triumph!

AI Taking Over the World

2024-10-03T20:22:00.005+08:00

When ChatGPT debuted in 2022, there was a lot of buzz about how jobs are soon going to be replaced by AI. How long do we have until we, humans, become obsolete at work? Which jobs will go out first? Admittedly, I felt a hint of panic when I came across these questions.

Nowadays, everywhere you go, you here about AI. Everything is powered by AI - chatbots, social media, online shopping, text and editing, advertising, healthcare, business and analytics, transportation, and so much more. And yes, definitely in software engineering and programming!

When I joined JFokus, an annual Java conference held in Stockholm, last February, almost all sessions were related to, if not based on, AI. One of the questions that often came up in and out of the sessions was that, will programmers be replaced by AI? 😱

I use GitHub Copilot when I do my work. Thank you Z for this! It is super helpful. I started typing out some codes and voila!, copilot will provide the rest. I just need to press tab, and my code is done. Well, mostly anyway 😅. What I love about copilot is that when I needed to write test cases, it would give me the test scenarios I would need. Oftentimes, I would say, "Oh, that's a good one! Haven't thought about that!".

Of course, one would still need to review what copilot has suggested. A lot of times, I still need to fix the logic. After all, these lines are just suggestions from copilot, and does not really have the background of the requirements. There are times that I have to change the syntax since the code it provided didn't run. What I do notice though, is that copilot is getting better and better with providing these suggestions.

So will it, or any AI-powered tool, replace me soon? I would say, as a developer, AI still has a bit of a long way until it gets it right. As of now, my skills are still needed to fix those logic and syntax issues. But definitely, it will replace me at some point.

Am I scared? Well, no. AI is supposed to help out with the mundane tasks. If I get replaced by AI then that means I'm doing something not worth doing anymore. What encourages me is that I can do other things far more important than just looking at syntax errors and scratching my head where I failed.

So if you're scared if AI will replace you, then maybe it's a good time to reflect what you're doing and where you are right now. Retool, learn new things, explore! Don't let AI scare you, let it support you. The human brain can do so many wonderful things if used.

So how about you?

Praying through the Darkness

2024-09-23T00:26:00.067+08:00

📸 Efren Jamolod

I was blessed at church today. During the past month, we have been studying the book of Jonas - how we sometimes, if not often, turn away from God, and suffer the consequences of our actions. But despite our stubbornness, He always finds us and pulls us in to His loving arms, and leads us.

What we think makes us happy may be what is not for us. Or, actions of others affected us, bringing us down into a spiral. And so we feel abandoned and lost. Why God, why?! Whenever we find ourselves swallowed in darkness, we find it hard to connect with Jesus, to pray. He feels so far away. Yet, what we don't know is that He uses these circumstances to help us find our way, because after all, everything is about Him. Not about us, but only Him.

While going through Jonas' prayer, while he was still in the belly of the whale, calling God for help, the prayer resonated in me. Remembering the many times I've fallen, and how He has helped me up. He never gives up. He sends angels in different forms. He never forsakes us.

Jonah 2:1-10 NIV

[1] From inside the fish Jonah prayed to the Lord his God. [2] He said:

“In my distress I called to the Lord,

and he answered me.

From deep in the realm of the dead I called for help,

and you listened to my cry.

[3] You hurled me into the depths,

into the very heart of the seas,

and the currents swirled about me;

all your waves and breakers swept over me.

[4] I said, ‘I have been banished from your sight;

yet I will look again toward your holy temple.’

[5] The engulfing waters threatened me,

the deep surrounded me;

seaweed was wrapped around my head.

[6] To the roots of the mountains I sank down;

the earth beneath barred me in forever.

But you, Lord my God,

brought my life up from the pit.

[7] “When my life was ebbing away,

I remembered you, Lord,

and my prayer rose to you,

to your holy temple.

[8] “Those who cling to worthless idols

turn away from God’s love for them.

[9] But I, with shouts of grateful praise,

will sacrifice to you.

What I have vowed I will make good.

I will say, ‘Salvation comes from the Lord.’ ”

[10] And the Lord commanded the fish, and it vomited Jonah onto dry land.

I hope that you have been blessed with this prayer, as it had me 😍

The Edit Button and Our Quest for Perfection

2024-09-17T03:37:00.004+08:00

A few weeks ago --
Me (to Manong): Did you know that Messenger has now an Edit feature? 😍
Manong: That was the reason why Musk bought Twitter... 😅

How many times have you used the Edit feature? Me, I would say countless times, especially for someone who likes to revisit, reread and review whatever I wrote online. This is one feature I found lacking in Messenger before, and had me frustrated often in the past when I could not edit wrong spellings or missed words. Or even grammatically incorrect statements. But lo, and behold, they have finally added it! When? I don't know. I only noticed it recently.

But why edit already posted statuses and comments?

One could argue, to make it perfect. But why make it perfect? (I know, grammar police 😄.) Why couldn't we let it be? Why obsess over making things right?

Every time I hit that Edit, questions like these come to mind. It's as if I can't stand the thought that I can be wrong, and that people will witness it. They will have an evidence! Our culture is so obsessed with the "perfect you" version. It's as if, "Look world! I'm always with the right clothes, with the right words, right actions!". It's as if one can't make mistakes.

Hitting 40s, I've slowly come to terms with my imperfections. I've now come to accept that I'll never do everything right. I'll always do something wrong, or say something incorrect, and sometimes say things inappropriately. I've slowly let go of always being perfect. And why? It makes me free. As we say in Filipino, kebs!

Coming to terms with my imperfections has given me confidence. Enough obsessing about what others will think or how they will view me. So what? What's important is that I know the people who love me accepts me for who I am. They might not stop telling me what I'm doing wrong, but at least they love me for the good and the bad.

With this edit feature, sometimes we are not careful with what we say. If the Edit feature would be removed, would we take time to pause? To rethink how we are supposed to express something so strong of an emotion? I used to do this in Facebook - I post something that I later regret then I hide or delete that post. Nowadays whenever I feel emotional over something, I stay clear from any social media 😆

In any case, there should always be a check and balance. Don't rush too much, but also don't care too much about what people think and say. Accepting things that have happened, and moving on, hopefully improving and getting better makes one have a positive outlook in life.

Balikbayans and their Pasalubongs

2024-08-29T01:39:00.005+08:00

We Filipinos have the tradition of bringing something back home whenever we visit or come from another place. This is the pasalubong tradition. It feels like a mortal sin not to bring one from a trip, whether it's domestic or international 😂 As an OFW, I practice this, and it gives me pleasure to be able to share with family, friends and even colleagues what we have here in Sweden, and vice versa from the Philippines.

Typical pasalubongs would be chocolates and something sweet, or something luxurious like bags, shoes and perfumes. (Grimacing at the thought of the expenses 😜). I sometimes succumb to these common gifts but what gives me more delight is to bring something that my recipients would not be able to find or buy in the Philippines. My usual go to Swedish pasalubongs are Ahlgrens Bilar, pepparkakor, knäckebröd and of course, the ever famous Cloetta Kex Choklad from Linköping.

So what has been the craziest pasalubong you've ever brought to the Philippines?

During our last visit to the Philippines, Zach carried with him along a green grocery bag containing three loaves of PågenLimpan bread 😂 Why Limpan? It was because Ninang Ni jokingly asked to bring Limpan with us. She loved the bread so much when she came to visit Sweden that she almost always brought it up whenever we spoke with her.

"Didn't Dadah loved it, as well? Why not bring one along for her also?"

Of course, it needed to be hand-carried. Zeke was so embarrassed to carry the bag with the loaves in it, that he explicitly said before we left the house, "I am not carrying the bread!". He always smiled sheepishly when we had to go through the xrays 😂 But Zach lovingly took care of it. He was even proud to bring it! I guess it also saved him from going hungry when I decided not to get food during our layover at Amsterdam, thinking they will serve dinner 30 minutes from our take off but ending up serving it 2 hours later. Oops! 😂

The surprise and grateful smiles were all so worth all the embarrassments. And mind you, they were actually heavy. It was definitely all worth it.

Now we're thinking of what other crazy pasalubongs we can bring the next time we come visit Philippines 🤔 Any thoughts?

Finishing Week 4

2024-05-24T02:53:00.013+08:00

Failing to finish the Couch to 5K Week 4 got me to reflect on things.

Ok, first, what is the Couch to 5K? This is a running program made for new runners and is promoted by the UK's NHS. It's designed to have 3 runs per week before moving on to the next progression. Beginning with an interval of running and walking, it ends up with a full 30-minute run on the last week.

I've been doing this program every spring since 2021. I got started on this when I needed something to get through during the pandemic. Until now, I've never really finished the 9 weeks because it's either I start late, or there are just so many things in between, that I end up repeating some of the weeks, and then before I know it, it has started getting cold for me to run 😅

This spring I started late due to the long winter. Despite that, I actually managed to made good progress up until my supposedly last run for Week 4. The run goes like this

brisk five-minute walk
three minutes of running
one-and-a-half minutes of walking
five minutes of running
two-and-a-half minutes of walking
three minutes of running
one-and-a-half minutes of walking
five minutes of running

Pretty simple, right?

First off, it was really warm that Sunday afternoon. I think it was around 23C, and has been sunny since morning so the warmth has lingered on since then. The wind wasn't blowing, nothing to keep me cool, despite my shorts on.

I pushed on and tried to run faster, hoping to beat my distance last run, which I suspected led to the side stitch I had on the third run. I could barely walk after, even if I slowed down and tried to regulate my breathing. I sort of cheated on that walk, where I extended the one-and-a-half minutes of walking to almost two minutes.

As Laura suggested, side stitch can be a result of dehydration. So I decided to pause my last run for a quick water break, (another cheat!) only to find my water bottle gone 😱 I left it on the tree stump by the entrance to the track, and it wasn't there anymore 😭 After that, everything fell apart.

I was so pissed someone took my water bottle. I mean, how dare they, right? I went to look under the bush, behind the trees. Nada. I think I spent around 10 minutes walking back and forth trying to find it. I was so put off by my missing bottle, I went home very angry and frustrated.

Looking back, what made me fail my run? I guess the conditions weren't optimal, I pushed too hard, and I mentally gave up trying to finish my run as soon as the going got tough.

Sometimes in life, we experience these kinds of setbacks.

We try and push hard, and we end up getting ourselves hurt. There are instances where the timing isn't right, either. It just wasn't the right time, plain and simple. But also, when our mind is not ready for the challenge, we just mentally give up. And it's so amazing how our brain works. When we give up mentally, our physical and emotional strength gives up, as well. It's a mix of anything and everything.

There are just moments when we need to take it slow. There are times when we can push ourselves beyond our boundaries. There's just the perfect time for everything.

And if it isn't the right time, we pick ourselves up and try again. Try and try.

Yesterday, I did my Week 5 Run 2. It was two runs with eight minutes each and a five minute walk in between. I was so proud because I paced myself, and was able to finish the run. This Saturday, I'll try to do a full 20-minute run 🤞

If you've never run before, try this program. I highly recommend it 😍 You'll never know, you might enjoy running after all.

Heja KFUM Linköping!

2024-05-16T01:44:00.007+08:00

It is such a privilege to be able to support your kids with their passion. More importantly, to be able to share their victories and losses, their happiness and sadness, their experiences - this is what parents could hope for. At least, that's how I aim to have memories with my kids.

Two weekends ago, we drove to Borensberg for Zach's basketball training matches and play round-robin against 2 teams from their division. It was a fine, sunny day 🌞 with parents driving the kids from Linköping and Motala all the way to Borensberg. The distance between these towns are 50kms apart. The parents need to dedicate some time off that weekend so they can bring the kids to the match.

Whenever a season starts, the matches usually take place during the weekend. It takes commitment for parents to accompany the kids to all their matches. For older kids, like Zeke, they even have matches during weekdays. I think the furthest we've driven for a match was actually for Zach, back when he was still playing football. It was in Gusum, around 90km, an hour or so drive from our place.

Not all parents have this luxury. Some parents have to work on weekends. Some families do not own a vehicle, so the parents have to ask favors from other parents to have their child tag along for the ride. I bet some would have wanted to watch their kids play but because of the circumstances, they are not able to.

We, in the family, sometimes get into this situation. Since Manong is coaching Zach's basketball team, we had to miss some of Zeke's game whenever they collide. (I wanted to say that it could have helped if I know how to drive but well, Manong and I would still prefer to watch both games so... 😳)

I feel that our presence as parents, being with our kids, and letting them feel our support and guidance, helps them mold to be better human beings, if not better parents. Whenever you can, be involved with your kids' life. And without you knowing it, you as a parent, becomes a better human being, as well.

And as for the matches, I shouted as loud as I could "Heja Linköping!". Zach's team won both games. The kids went home very happy 😍

Side note: As I was writing this, I was wondering if I should use furthest or farthest 😂 Here's the reference I found - Farther, farthest or further, furthest?

Where do we go from here?

2024-05-09T05:02:00.001+08:00

"What is Your plan for me, Father?" How often do you ask that? Do you feel neglected when He doesn't answer?

It had been hectic coming back from Stockholm this week. Hectic, and I must admit, a lot of stress lately. I came home exhausted and drained. Then I saw all these dirty dishes in the sink (of course, what do you expect when you leave the kids by themselves), and it's like pushing yourself to finish all these chores and wrap up your day.

Whenever I feel overwhelmed or lost, I tend to ask this question. "What is Your plan for me, Father?" The human that I am, I feel disappointed and discouraged whenever things don't go my way, and then I started asking God why, why, why. I prayed for this job but why is it going like this? I prayed for guidance and yet it feels like I'm going astray.

Today I was reminded about pride, envy, joy, and the intentions of our hearts.

Manong and I joined a Connect Group within our church for the first time. The verse that we reflected upon was 1 Corinthians 4:6-13. It was a rather awkward and strange passage to read. But it hit home.

Pride brings you up high, and brings you down fast and strong. When we have achieved or accomplished something, we tend to look inward, and say, "I did this on my own! I feel so proud!", without thinking that it was possible because of Him. We then forget to be grateful, to praise God for His favors and goodness upon us. Because we relied on our own strength, our faith becomes flaky.

And because we are proud, whenever we meet someone who exceeds us, it results to envy. A funny story was shared, "There is this girl who thinks her school is the best because they have ice cream every end of the year. But upon hearing a girl from another school, saying their school gives ice cream every week, she suddenly felt bad. She then felt her school sucks."

Why couldn't she be happy for the other girl who gets ice cream every week? Why couldn't we be happy for our fellow who got the acknowledgement, who got the recognition? Or the acquaintance, or friend, who got a raise, who got a new nice bag?

The sufferings that we encounter are often made by our own stubbornness. Our happiness is fleeting because we rely on happenings, rather than being grateful for what we have. Gratefulness gives us joy, no matter the circumstances. And because of this, you become truly happy for others who have more than you.

The discussion reminded me how it is to be surrounded by people whom you can be open about, and without judgement. And it helped me to reflect what I've been going through this past week. Happy, that He always steers me in the right direction whenever I start drifting away from where I'm supposed to be.

The Lessons of Sakura

2024-05-02T04:59:00.001+08:00

A colleague organized a walk to check out the cherry blossoms at Kungsträdgården. We brought our lunch boxes with us, and off we went, walking under the longed-for bright and fine 17C sun 🌞

On our way, another colleague asked what are we supposed to see. The cherry blossoms. And she asked, "Oh, are we going to look at one flower? 😒". Everyone laughed at her innocent question. People then started telling her about the famed cherry blossoms, and how these trees at Kungsträdgården were brought to Sweden as a gift from the Japanese emperor.

Upon arriving, I was so surprised to see so many people. They apparently have the same idea as us, with the thoughts of basking under the sun with lunch boxes, and enjoying the view of the flowers. Some had ice creams. Tourists and locals alike, cramped into the steps or sat down under the trees.

So why are these blooms celebrated? What makes them special?

The cherry tree flowers during spring. The cherry blossoms, or sakura in Japanese, symbolizes renewal and mortality. As spring comes, we welcome the life that grows around us. It's as if life has overcome the darkness and dreariness of our surrounding.

The blossoms are dependent on the weather, that it's hard to say when it starts to bloom, and when it loses its flowers. The blossoms may last a few days, or a few weeks. With the fleeting lifespan of the flowers, it's a magical moment to be able to enjoy them at its peak of beauty. Festivals have been planned around the blooming of the flowers. It has become more of a challenge to predict the blooms' exact period, due to the possible effect of climate change.

It's like the blossoms are telling us to enjoy each moment when we can, to appreciate life and its beauty, for we don't know when it will go away.

This was the first time I've seen the cherry blossoms in Kungsträdgården. If it weren't for my scheduled trip to our office this week, I would most probably have missed this scene. Although, there are cherry blossoms in Linköping (city where I live ~200kms away from Stockholm), it was so spectacular to see so many trees in bloom at one place. And, all in full bloom, at that!

I was told the Sakura festival in Japan is an experience in itself, and something that one shouldn't miss. I hope I do get to experience it. One of these days, Japan! One of the days 😍

Gray Hairs

2024-04-29T04:04:00.001+08:00

A sliver of light caught my eye as I was combing my hair. I was tempted to get my tweezers and pull out that gray hair, when I saw more popping up at the back. I thought to myself, I should stop doing this, else I'll end up pulling out most of my hair 😅 This was the point where I acknowledged my hair is really turning gray.

I used to pull out these gray hairs. It became a habit, and then an obsession. Every time I caught one, I just couldn't stop myself. I would end up spending more minutes than I wanted to, searching for any grays and pulling them out. I would even ask Manong to pull the ones at the back because I couldn't seem to aim at them. He was a great accomplice, as he couldn't resist the task 😂 At that time, it felt like I was conquering aging. Well, now, it has started conquering my hair.

I've chatted with a friend yesterday how we're feeling the lack of energy nowadays, compared to our younger years, that is. The change of hormones is a primary suspect but also, age is slowly catching up.

There are times that I find myself valuing time alone, or with just a few number of people around me, rather than being out on parties and such. I find myself drained when I needed to mingle and socialize. Strangely enough, it doesn't matter if they're old friends or new acquaintances.

I realized that at some point, I started limiting my circle. It may sound a bit snobbish but having a good conversation flowing takes a toll, that I would rather converse with people that I can actually have a conversation with, or be with people that I have similar interests with. I'm forrtunate to have such people around me.

It's really good to embrace aging. To be able to accept the gray hairs, the wrinkles, the lack of energy, and the occasional aching joints 😅 Embracing doesn't mean giving into it defeatedly, though. It is more of being able to accept it, but also helping ourself understand and face the consequences if we let aging speed up. It is at this stage that we should be more conscious of how we treat our body. Give it enough rest, and self care. Give our minds and thoughts the peace and quiet it needs so it can recuperate.

I've always believed that one must age gracefully. I would rather not stop it forcefully but let it take its natural course. Love that wrinkle that slowly starts to show. Enjoy, and slow down that pace. I have to remember, I should not get myself too busy lest life start passing me by.