Sweet Mama Jones

Touch Text is Hard!

2012-01-26T23:25:00.001-05:00

My blackberry died. It had been showing all the warning signs. After two lovely years together, it just couldn't hold on anymore.

Since I sensed its inevitable demise was approaching quickly I was doing my due diligence in "what to get next"....but I hadn't quite decided (read: talked it over with my kid who is way smarter than me). I was forced to make a hasty decision. Another BB, the highly coveted iPhone, or an Android.

Android won.

Its so much fun!

Earlier we were at the grocery store and I was letting Max play on it....totally being a bad mom letting him walk & play instead of paying attention to reality. Don't worry, he didn't fall into any fountains.

But he did innocently ignite a temper tantrum.

I was deciding which bbq'd sauce to get when a little boy scurried up to his father and says "Daddy!! I hear Angry Birds!!"...then he spots my kid and begs his daddy "Can I play Angry Birds on your phone Daddy??"

When Daddy said no the kid went all Alex Baldwin/Words With Friends bat sh*t crazy.

Holy moly I'm so glad those years are behind me! I don't know that I have the Herculian strength needed to tame a 4 year olds case of the gimmes.

At least with tweens/teens you can tell them to get over it!

Happy MLK Day!

2012-01-16T13:48:00.001-05:00

“Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly." ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

Basically, everything has a ripple effect.

Deep, huh?

No, I’m not about to go all profound blogger up in here. I just thought it was appropriate to quote some MLK Jr on MLK Day, m’kay? And I like that one. It really makes me stop and think. I have to be careful with that, sometimes I stop to think and forget to start again.

Especially lately because I’ve been pretty sick and taking quite a bit of cold medicine and pain reliever. What do they put in that stuff anyways? I didn't even buy the kind they keep behind the counter and make you show ID for. Hell, I didn't even buy the name-brand for that matter. But it sure did make for some whackadoo behavior.

For instance, Saturday, after having consumed the suggested dosage of daytime medicine + 4 Excedrin, I donned an outfit you couldn’t have put together if you stole a donation box from behind the Goodwill.

And then I drove my kid to work in it.

Because my husband doesn't love me enough to not let me out of the house like that.

Ok fine that's not true. He wasn't even home, he was off working & making money blah blah. Whatever. I still think that if he DID love me he would have sensed that I needed him and appeared out of no where to take the kid to work and bring me banana cream pie.

But he didn't and so there I was.

In gray velvet’ish sweats (that fit me better in 2005, when they were only 2 years old), a pair of my husbands tube socks complete with toe hole, and a crème colored fleece hoodie that left giant fuzzies all over my black t-shirt. I was feverish and didn't really want to wear the sweatshirt but I needed to. It helped camouflage the fact that I was bra-less.

BRA-LESS.

I know. I'm not proud of it.

I walked out of my house, got in my car, and drove away without a brassiere – BUT WITH those stupid Hanes His Way man socks on. You could tell they were pulled all the way up too cause' my velvet sweatpants kept clinging to my calves real sexy like. Oh and maroon slippers. (Is maroon even a color anymore?)

I get that appearing in public like this doesn’t bother some ~~weirdo's~~ folks (we've all seen the People of Walmart. And Courtney Love.) – but it’s a major sign of sickness and/or impending dementia for me.

I always wear a bra and I almost never wear socks.

Let's be clear here, I don’t need to be dressed up to go outside & I love weekends without make-up - but bra’s are not generally an optional accessory in my book.

My girls are neither itty bitty nor full of silicone. They require full service support with underwire, thankyouverymuch.

Plus there is the whole issue of living in the House O’ Testosterone to think about. (Remember the MLK quote people: “Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly.”)

The ~~nipple~~ ripple-effects of traumatizing my sons by flailing about all Kathy-Bates-in-the-hot-tub style are far, far too numerous to consider.

I clearly didn't think about it at the time, but I shudder to think of what would have happened had I been pulled over...gotten into a fender bender...or worse...like pulled up to a stop light next to him:

I big-puffy-heart LOVE Jim Parsons!!!

Household Tips

2012-01-13T10:51:00.003-05:00

I wish that I could tell you that I am the master-mama-mind genius behind

these nifty household tricks…but, sigh. I can’t. I received this as an email,

I have no idea how long it’s been floating around the internet or who

is due credit. I, for one, know that if it was ME who put all the effort

into something this ridiculously cool I would sign my name all over the

place. Then again, who knows, maybe the originator did do that &

some jerk head changed it. It is the internet after all.

In any case, enjoy these tips & blame my snarky comments
(that look like this) on the DayQuil!

I’d love to hear back from you if you find one you intend to try…

Hull strawberries easily using a straw.

Wait, where exactly do you find a straw strong enough to penetrate a berry?

And omg I just said penetrate a berry.

Rubbing a walnut over scratches in your furniture

will disguise dings and scrapes.

That’s just nuts! Will splurging on some Old English really bankrupt you?

Remove crayon masterpieces from your TV or

computer screen with WD40.

This is cool. But kids who color on the tv are not.

Stop cut apples browning in your child’s lunch box

by securing with a rubber band.

This may work for girls, but as a mama of all boys I can pretty much

guarantee that rubber band, in a male child's hands, in a cafeteria, is a recipe for mischief.

Overhaul your linen cupboard, store bed linen sets

inside one of their own pillowcases and there will

be no more hunting through piles for a match.

LOVE it. LOVE LOVE LOVE it…even though it will never happen up in my casa.

Pump up the volume by placing your iPhone & iPod

in a bowl. The concave shape amplifies the music.

No. No. And NO. Silence is golden.

Re-use a wet-wipes container to store plastic bags.

Where do you find such cute wipe containers???

Add this item to your beach bag. Baby powder gets sand off your skin easily, who knew?!

BABY LEGS! Squishy sweet adorable baby legs!

Attach a Velcro strip to the wall to store soft toys.

I say get industrial strength Velcro & stick the brats up there too.

Use wire to make a space to store gift wrap rolls

against the ceiling, rather than cluttering up the

floor. This I can do!

Find tiny lost items like earrings by putting a

stocking over the vacuum hose. This I can do too!

Make an instant cupcake carrier by cutting

crosses into a box lid. This I can do, um, three! We’re on a roll!

For those who can’t stand the scrunching and

bunching: how to perfectly fold a fitted sheet.

And the roll came to a screeching halt. This looks painful.

Forever losing your bathroom essentials? Use

magnetic strips to store bobby pins, tweezers

and clippers, behind a vanity door.

Also a cool idea in the kitchen.

Store shoes inside shower caps to stop dirty

soles rubbing on your clothes. And you can

find them in just about every hotel.

You can also find them at the dollar store.

A muffin pan becomes a craft caddy. Magnets

hold the plastic cups down to make them

tip-resistant.

Cute!

Bread tags make the perfect cord labels.
Ummm yeah, just a smidge too OCD for me. But thanks.

Bake cupcakes directly in ice-cream cones, so

much more fun and easier for kids to eat.

LOVE!

Microwave your own popcorn in a plain brown paper

bag. Much healthier and cheaper than the packet

stuff.

Eh. I prefer my hot air popper.

Install a tension rod to hang your spray bottles.

I will be doing this.

Turn your muffin pan upside down, bake cookie-dough

over the top and voila, you have cookie bowls for fruit

or ice-cream.

On my “bake-someday” list for sure!

Freeze Aloe Vera in ice-cube trays for soothing

sunburn relief.

This just strikes me as sticky. And more yikes-that's-cold than cool relief.

Create a window-box veggie patch using guttering. Now this is simply cool!

Especially if a cute gardener is involved.

Use egg cartons to separate and store your

Christmas decorations.

I’m not particularly a fan of this one, especially

since you can pick up plastic containers at the Dollar Store. (Dollar Store reference #2)

So that’s it, which ones can you imagine incorporating into your bag of tricks?

We Want To Know Wednesdays

2012-01-11T08:53:00.000-05:00

http://looklucklove.blogspot.com/2012/01/we-want-to-know.html

1. What is your most commonly used word or phrase when you are frustrated?

I don’t have a singular commonly used word or phrase. I’m pretty much "equal opportunity" when it comes to potty mouth. And if I'm frustrated you can count on some potty mouth.

2. What random question do you usually get from strangers or casual acquaintances?

Tied for most common is "Do you have a sister named so and so?" and "Have we met before?" ~ I guess I look familiar to a lot of people. The other question is “Are those your natural curls?” For years I flat ironed my hair trying to tame my natural disaster. These days? Not so much.

3. Did you ever correspond by mail with anyone, who? Do you still have the letters?

Yes. When I moved to Southern California, single & preggo with my first child, my best friend Angela & I wrote each other at least once a week. We would send each other funny cards, post cards, get our OCD on with stickers. She worked at a store called Card Attack in the mall, so hers always seemed to out-do mine ~ but there was this one time I spent an hour using 4 different felt tip pens to draw a strand of Christmas lights along the edge of an envelope. I’m sure it wasn’t least bit annoying to the mail man. I also still have letters & cards from my junior year when I dated a guy in the Navy. My mom only approved of the relationship because a) he was only 2 years older and b) he was stationed 2 states away at Whidbey Island. It kept my mind off of more readily available boys. Smart thinkin’ on her part.

4. Do you dance in public? Why or why not?

I have been known to do a little shopping-cart boogey at my local Farm Fresh which plays an amazing mix of 50’s music. But only if I have my kid with me so I can embarrass him.

5. What is your favorite kind of Chapstick/lip balm?

Carmex, baby!

"Magic" Self Binding Baby Blanket

2012-01-10T08:16:00.006-05:00

OR as I like to call my version:

Magic Mess!

I'm a rookie who should probably stick to doing things with written instructions complete with lots (and lots) of still photo's for every step along the way. That way I would have slimmer chances of ending up with things like this. It's ok, you don't have to pretend to not notice that I failed to measure all 4 sides equally ~ despite having all the necessary tools to do so.

I started out on the right track...

But what can I say? It's never a far leap for me to land in Oopsville.

Here's the video tutorial I attempted to follow ~ PLEASE NOTE: this young lady WONDERFUL can not be blamed for my Magic Mess!!

See? She is terrific! I love the ease in her approach. Ah well, maybe I will do better next time. After all, "if at first you don't succeed" and all that jazz.

~~~~~

Now for my TMZ-style rant on the birth of the newest Celeb-U-Bebe: Blue Ivy Carter ~ because, you know, my opinion matters. ;)

Beyonce & Jay-Z reportedly paid $1.3 MILLION dollars to secure the entire floor of the hospital where she gave birth to their new baby girl.

I admire the talent that these two share. I also admire their commitment to keeping their private life exactly that: PRIVATE. Furthermore, I'm sure $1.3m will come in handy for the hospital. (Because, you know, hospitals don't charge enough as it is.)

HOWEVER, I have one question.

What the hell?

A WHOLE floor Beyonce, really?

Ok, that's two questions.

But for the love of Put A Ring On It, get real! For that kind of money, why not lease a private birthing center? Set up labor & delivery at home? Or in a castle, with security, and a moat stocked with alligators hungry for paparazzi.

I certainly hope that another laboring mother was not displaced (to the left, to the left) due to the lock down of AN ENTIRE FLOOR.....
Another mother who didn't have the luxury or time to get to another hospital where they don't sell out like it's One Night Only at Madison Square Garden.....
Another mother who's baby is every bit as precious & sacred as Sasha Fierce's offspring.....

I enjoy the entertainment industry, I really do, but stuff like this pisses me off.

Mandatory Update

2012-01-09T13:10:00.007-05:00

Ahem...I’ve been advised to update my blog.

So here I am, if only to prove that I am alive & kickin!

For starters (and really just to be polite & get it out of the way) I hope that you all enjoyed a lovely holiday season.

I, for one, mustered up just enough enthusiasm to survive & fake it for the kiddo’s sake. As a parent, I couldn’t not decorate & play the part – no matter how Grinchy I feel on the inside I still believe in trying to create a little magic for the youngsters.

But now that it's all over & the decorations have been packed & carted back upstairs to the attic, can a Mama just ~~scream~~ say HALLLLL-LELUJAH?

Welcome 2012 ~ I already love you just for bringing a fresh start!

This year is going pretty momentous for my gang. My little kid will finish elementary school (*sniffle*), my middle kid will graduate high school (whoot!!), my older kid will turn 21 (holy shit!) and in between all that Mama will turn 40 (HOLLA!!) ~ and we are all ready!

Although I usually resolve not to make “New Year’s Resolutions” because I lack the stick-to-it-ivness generally required, this year I did. I decided to implement a motto for life: To Thine Own Self Be True. I'm also planning on permanently inking this into my skin just as soon as I find a font & a size I can live with for all eternity. And one you can still read when I'm Eleventy-five years old.

It may not be original but it’s a brand new concept to me. Kind of a shame it’s taken 40 years, huh? But as my friend Alan (of Hangover fame) would say, WHATEV's.

And now on to my adventures in sewing...

I joined a quilting group…that's right. A quilting group. Or bee. Go ahead, laugh at me & my granny’ish activities, I’ll wait…happy to amuse you….finished yet? Ok good. I joined a quilting group that meets once a month for a “lock in” at night. Oh yeah, I said a Lock In At Night...plus potluck & wine...did yo' Grandmammy's quilt-bee party that hard? I think not!

A friend I met during my early days of coordinating the Stitch & Bitch group is a member of the group & has been inviting me to join ever since I brought home my Singer. I have to tell you I’m glad I finally went & wish I'd gone sooner, it’s really encouraging & super inspirational. (BTW: I’m working on my first quilt now – it’s not going so hot but I intend to finish it regardless. More on that in the near future, along with pics.)

I’ve also been “commissioned” (that sounds so funny!) to make some crock pot covers for cold, hard, cash. As much as I love me some whimsy, I’m not one to dress up my toaster or my toilet paper. However, when someone approaches me with a profitable project in which they want their toaster or toilet paper (or this case, crockpots) all dolled up, I’m so down.

But it hasn’t been easy.

You know how they say that if you can imagine it, you can find it on the internet? Well, leave it to me to imagine the one thing you can’t find. You cannot find a sewing pattern for an oval crockpot cover.

Other appliances, yes. Crockpots? No sir.

I found an Etsy seller who makes a nice quilted cover, but she doesn’t sell the pattern.

I also found this Etsy seller who sells a pattern for a skirt, but it’s not a cover. (I still bought it. You never know when I will change my mind & start dressing my appliances.)

So what’s a sewista to do?

Well, unfortunately, she is left to her own devices & elementary school skills. And since "she" is me and since those elementary skills include math (ack!), it was a little bit touch & go.

I turned the ceramic insert upside down & traced it, measured around the base unit & then cut fabric accordingly. A few hems, 487 straight pins and voila, this was made:

Please don’t judge the Brady’s Hawaiian Vacation batik cotton print, it serves its purpose for the prototype, m’kay? And in case you feel the need to play Captain Obvious and point out that it’s not very fancy, just know that I already know that. In fact, it may very well be the polar opposite of fancy. But after a text message confirmation, it’s exactly what she wants. And that is all that matters: customer satisfaction.

I haven’t really been up to much else. Life is fairly ~~boring~~ quiet right now. Just taking it all one day at a time & trying to pay the bills – you know how that is! Well, not you Bill Gates. Or you, Oprah.

Oh - one last little thing I wanted to share is this little quote from a friend….

“When people hurt you over & over again…

Think of them like a sand paper and you like a wood…

They may scratch & hurt you a bit…

But in the end…

You end up polished and they end up useless.”

Although I no longer allow “the crazies” to directly affect my daily life, there is one crotchety old hag that still hangs on - her every breath dedicated to lying & hurting for personal gain. Sometimes when I feel bitter about having to have put up with her ugliness for so long I stop & thank my lucky stars that at least I don’t live in the misery that is her life. Especially now as there is about to be some legal ramifications for her shady ways….haha!

KARMA is AWESOME!

And so are these:

Look at me all participating & stuff!

2011-12-15T08:25:00.000-05:00

To help me with my mojo-malfunction I decided to link up with Mama Kat’s (pretty much worldfamous) Writer's Workshop.

This week's suggestions were fun to think about but my ultimate decision was really a no-brainer.

I mean, why would I tell you all about how I am in love sweet love with both Jim Parsons and Jon ~~Yumm~~ Hamm but how I would eventually have to break their hearts by running away to marry Zach Galifiankis, or how 31 years after the fact I can still smell the vomit on my Miss Piggy pillow-sham just by thinking about liver & onions, when I finally have the opportunity to throw a pity party over the 2 things I always wanted for Christmas as a kid but never got?

Technically, the writing prompt is 10 things I Wanted for Christmas as a Kid but Didn’t Get and Still Want. (inspired by Hello Giggles) ~ but I don’t think I ever wanted 10 things at one time.

My brother & I grew up in the 80’s as children of baby-boomer consumers. There wasn’t much that we wanted that they didn’t already want to get for us. I’m not kidding you when I say that I had no freaking clue what an Atari was when we woke up to find Santa had brought us one. My parents were always way ahead of us on all the cool stuff.

Unfortunately, the appeal of electronic-y stuff was lost on me. Save for "the 2 things", I was happy with my Rubiks cube and the giant Barbie head that I could put make up on.

In my day, Babs looked alot like a $2 version of Dolly Parton.

Long before there were Razor Scooters there were Honda Kick’n’Go’s. They looked very similar to the scooters these days except they had this lever thing on the back & you used your foot to pump it & propel yourself as fast as you wanted to go. Yet another feature lost on me. You see, I have always been a creature of comfort - not necessarily speed or um, agility. My dad built custom motorcycles back then & they sold them in his shop and so naturally he thought we had to have them. Although I eventually got it together with the whole hand/foot coordination required to not crash, I'm pretty sure Dad still got the bigger Kick out of watching us Go.

So what was it that I always wanted but never got? (Is it just me or can you guys hear my husbands voice saying "GET TO THE POINT ALREADY!" too?)

Fine. What I always wanted was a

Lite Brite and a Cabbage Patch Kid.

But I never got either one.

My mom thought Cabbage Patch dolls were “ugly”. This is a woman who dressed me in rabbit fur coats at the age of 8 (pre-PETA & the red paint). Ugly in her world was (and still is) a crime.

The Lite Brite was “messy”. All those little black dots of construction paper & light bits made her shudder. Let's not talk about the fact that ~~her favorite child~~ my brother had a crap-ton of Lego’s that were often scattered everywhere or how he would purposely land-mine them along my bedroom doorway at night so that I would unavoidably step on them barefoot, in the dark, on my way to the bathroom at 2am.

So yeah. No authentic adoption certificates or brightly lit displays of art for me. Because, you know, Ugly & Messy!

Atari Pong induced coma's and Kick and Go scars on the chin, elbow, knee's & knuckles? Pure childhood FUN!

Hours of quiet, creative time or honing my motherly instincts?
Ugly & messy.

Years later they would use these same words to describe my boyfriends.

My brother is now an architect in Anchorage, Alaska. Naturally my mother credits this to his Lego days. By that reasoning, I could have been Angelina Jolie if only she had let me adopt a stinkin' Cabbage Patch Kid!

Keep Calm & Carry A Camera

2011-12-14T13:26:00.002-05:00

I took this last month when the leaves had begun to change.

The industrial park where I work is actually a very pretty, very woodsy & very critter filled area that also encompasses an historical landmark from the Civil War era.

A few weeks ago there was a movie crew camping out for awhile while they filmed scenes for a new motion picture about Pocahontas, she’s from this part of Virginia.

Big deal.

You know what they should have been filming?

A remake of Alfred Hitchcock’s THE BIRDS. That’s what.

(insert freaky music & bird squawking noises here)

Yesterday I was coming back from lunch when I saw these guys chillin on a lamp post:

Then I noticed the rest of them:

Of all the times I’d wished I’d had my real camera with me to capture something really pretty and instead I capture TURKEY VULTURES.

DID YOU HEAR ME? I SAID VULTURES!!!!!!!!

I won’t lie. I stayed far enough away, in my car, with the window rolled down only enough to give the lens a clear shot.

This one tried to punk me:

I swear he started posing too. He was kind of hopping like maybe he was hurt or trying to line dance (you never know in Virginia) so I inched the window down just a tad more so I could get a closer & that bastard spread his wings & took flight at me! Ok, not at me, but over the car. Still, it scared me so much that I accidentally pushed the button to roll down the back windows instead of rolling up the front window.

It’s a good thing I didn’t have to pee. Just sayin'.

Wiki says they are a protected species, even though they are known to carry anthrax (ANTHRAX!!) and hog cholera. I'm not sure what hog cholera is all about but it sounds detrimental to my bacon consumption. Not cool.

You know what else I learned from Wikipedia about Turkey Vultures? That when they feel threatened they regurgitate on their attacker & feign death. Oh my god, ME TOO!!

Maybe I should star in the remake?

Pictures

2011-12-12T22:07:00.000-05:00

Remember how I told you my husband has a tool bucket? Well, the truth is, he has TWO. And he prefers the buckets to the box in the back. I can only attribute this to his native american roots - he is (by way of his mother) half Pomo Indian (a small tribe of basket weavers in back home in NorCal). Maybe his inner Dances With Tools feels the bucket is more akin to a basket? I don't know. Sometimes there is just no explaining the male species.

This next picture has nothing to do with anything except that I loves it. How can you not love banana splits and pedicures? I attended this holiday luncheon gig at The Great Wolf Lodge last week and found this little spa adjoining the grown up ladies spa. So the seats are not exactly comfy (or roomy) enough for my derriere, but what they lack in backside support they more than make up for in adorableness.

~cliche title here~

2011-12-12T12:34:00.007-05:00

Out with the new, in with the old!

Eh.

Everything old is new again?

Hmph.

Look, I tried. I thought what was killing my mojo was feeling haunted by nosy old busybodies so I started a fresh blog. Turns out – fresh starts are overrated and overwhelming. I couldn’t pull off the consistency of posting to establish myself. So here I am again.

Mary Engelbreit says “Wherever You Go, There You Are.”

She’s right.

Of course, she also says crazy stuff like “Life is just a chair of bowlies”. Um...what does that even mean?

I’m pretty sure we can all agree that Forrest Gump is far more accurate in his statement that “Life Is Like A Box Of Chocolates”…..until you try! And that’s what I did. I tried. And now I’m baaa-aaack.

~~~

So who’s ready for Christmas? I’m not – at least not in the sense of getting the gift part accomplished.

I started getting into the spirit about Thanksgiving time and started making some stockings. Cute & easy peasy. Well, easy peasy except for the one with “the toe”. That one made me cuss & rip seams. Even so, holiday cheer was starting to seep into my psyche.

And then the stupid car threw a hissy fit. It’s all my fault.

You know how they say not to say certain things out loud because giving voice to them pretty much activates it? (Think: Wonder Twins) Well, there was this one day that gas had gone down to $3.09/gallon (dirt cheap in there here parts) so, being the very grown up person that I am (shut it), I decided to fill ol’ Miss Daisy all the way up.

As I was pulling away from the gas station my dashboard was telling me I had 396 miles to go until empty. First I was all, “HOLLA! I can get back & forth to work all week without any gas pitt-stops, go me!” And then I was all, “watch this thing break on a full tank”. And then it did! That bitch broke.

Well, not like right there dead in its tracks or anything. I mean, made it the 25 miles to work, pulled into my usual spot, turned it off, and then it broke. I sat and watched a cloud of smoke (or steam, whatever) billow from under the hood. You’d a though Snoop Dogg was up under therrre!

I cried and called Craig and got mad at him, as per The Wife how-to manual.

· Me: *sob* The car is *sob* broke.

· Him: I can’t hear you.

· Me: *sob* The car is *sob* BROKE!

· Him: I still didn’t hear you, you’re breaking up, are you...
~CLICK~

· Me: *The clicking was me. I hung up on him. Oh come on! He couldn’t hear me, what was I supposed to do?*

He called me back but I didn’t answer. What if I had been stranded on the side of the road somewhere? Hello, I needed him to be worried!! So I waited until the 3rd ring of his 2nd phone call - and then I answered. It's all about timing people.

· Me: *SOB!* HELLO! CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?

· Him: Yes, calm down, whats wrong?

· Me: Are you SURE you can hear me? Because I don’t have all day for you to go get a hearing aid…

· Him: I can hear you, what is wrong?

· Me: The car is broke. There’s all this smoke wafting out from under the hoo-oood *sob*…

· Him: Is it smoke or is it steam?

· Me: How am I supposed to know? It’s like I’m sitting to close to the stage at a KISS concert and I’m scared shooting flames are up next! What if it EXPLODES?

· Him: It’s not going to explode.

· Me: It might. You don’t know. I filled it all. the. way. full of gas this morning.

· Him: It won’t explode.

· Me: You are gonna feel so bad if it does.

· Him: Go inside, I will see you in a little while.

Later in the day he arrived with his tool bucket. That's right, tool (old 5 gallon paint) bucket.

He has a tool box.

He brought his tool bucket.

But I can’t pick on his in good conscience at this point because the man is like House, M.D. when it comes to diagnosing cars. Pure genius. He figured out what I needed to do to make it to work & home all week until he could do the major repair that weekend. I knew he could do it!

Now if only I could find a way to speak a million bucks into my bank account….

~~~

Summertime

2011-07-17T19:58:00.000-04:00

I hope everyone is enjoying a fabulous summertime!

We haven't done much more than use our Busch Gardens for summer entertainment this year. Seems like we've become the "stay-cation" types since moving to Virginia. I don't mind so much, but I do miss hopping in the car and heading north into the mountains around Lake Tahoe or west to the city streets of San Francisco or south to see family. I always loved that a 2 hour car trip in any direction could land you in a completely other landscape but still be in California.

Not to pick on Virginia at all, it has some really beautiful aspects. And tons of history. DC has become a favorite car trip. But we sure are a long way from any mountains & for some reason we've all got the camping bug.

Friends & coworkers have praised a local nature reserve for its camping fun. But honestly? I am not packing up the car just to drive 20 minutes to sleep outside. I drive farther than that to get to work everyday! It wouldn't feel like we "went" somewhere, you know?

So we're on the hunt for a real camping excursion. Somewhere under 2 hours. Charlottesville maybe?

Anyone else have vacation or staycation plans?

Peace & Cupcakes Pillowcase Dress

2011-06-29T19:35:00.000-04:00

Meet my Monday night project: a little trial and error (mostly error) dress I named "Peace & Cupcakes"....

Firstly(?) & most importantly you should know I bought this really stinkin' cute pattern called "Sew Easy" Pillowcase Dress from Foot Loose & Fancy Free on ETSY. You gotta love it! I really hope to someday do it justice. As those of you with keen sewista eyesight may notice my ~~armpit~~ armholes needs some work as do my bias tape making skills.

Cross your heart promise not to judge this awesome pattern by my first attempt!

{IMPORTANT: Pics of the way I added my border hem are not part of her pattern for I would not take liberties with the designers rights by so blatantly posting photos of her hard work! And I'm serious as a heart attack about that. Its simply the way I was taught to put a border on a pillowcase to "trap" the raw edges inside the casing & so I began with what I knew how to do in an attempt to personalize & doll up my version.}

LOVE the pattern so much I put it in page protectors & cute pink flex-folder :)

Mid-roll (after stitching on cupcake border)

then closing it all up inside....

....and pulling it out the ends....

And Voila! Wait. Stop the music. I totally sewed it UPSIDE DOWN. Crap...
Ok, so those errors I mentioned? Well there's one major one that turned a size 5 dress turned into a 4T. I cut that border off & started over the right way! Then I got down to the business of following the pattern & here is my outcome:

{{{ TRUE LOVE!!! }}}

Like I said, the armholes need some work and I know won't win any Project Runways for Rugrats anytime soon but I'm still having a ball!

Lazy Sunday

2011-06-26T18:24:00.002-04:00

It's Sunday afternoon, technically evening, and I'm sitting here bored. How lame is that? I don't think I've been really and truly bored in a very long time. But I am. And even though I normally think that only boring people get bored, I'm not going to think that right now. Because it's me.

Friday I sewed myself a little purse/bag/market tote thingy from 4 fat quarters. I like it plenty but I can now see the importance of lining. It's reversible so I don't mean that kind of lining, I mean the kind that makes something stiffer. Interfacing? Don't laugh, learning to sew means also learning a whole new language.

Kiddo would only hold it long enough for a snap of the ~~Black~~BLURRBerry

Yes, blurry,but couldn't have you miss this awesomeness.

Saturday I met up with a couple of crochet friends at a coffee shop in the cute little downtown area. I made a coaster. One. Whole. Coaster. I know, watch me go! Meanwhile one friend was working on a double stand stadium in blanket in Redskin colors (and I'm still friends with her, see how tolerant I am?) and the other was trying to master a very confusing crochet pattern for a blanket she wants to make for her first grandchild - a girl due later this year. I hope I didn't intimidate them with my hardcore coaster.

Also on Saturday I tried to have a yard sale. I sold a boppy cushion to the neighbor kid for a buck for his cat Sonya. And then I gave away a couple of books to his cousin. Donald Trump is dying to get me on The Apprentice.

Our street ends at the beach less than 2 blocks down. We have foot traffic all day long every day. Yesterday? A perfectly sunny beach weather kind of day? None. Nary a stroller pusher or dog walker or bike thief (ahem, there's a story there I'll share sometime). I thought I was being very entrepreneur'ish by choosing lots of great beach reading material to sell. But no. Well, I mean I DID, but I can't help it if no one was smart enough to stop by for a bargain priced book.

Yeah. So I packed that in early and spent most of the rest of the day flipping magazine pages in search of something inspiring. I fell asleep.

Of course now that I am sitting here on the front porch not having a yard sale, there are tons of people wandering past. They probably think I'm a geek sitting out here on the computer but the truth is, its the only place we can get wifi at the moment. It's an 81 year old house. It has mood swings.

There is music at the beach tonight, like most Sunday nights thru the summer. I think they call it Groovin By the Bay. I call it Pick Up Your Trash When You Leave And Please Obey The Stop Signs Jerks! I think my name has a catchier ring to it don't you?

I decided blog hopping would be my best bet for finding inspiration. You guys in blogland never fail to amuse and inspire me.

But before I go, here are some snapshots of those cherry curtains I made for my kitchen (which I LOVE LOVE LOVE): ((((PS: is it just me or has Blogger been especially sucky with the uploading of pics lately??)))) (((((PSS: Forgive my extremely low quality photo skills. Someday I will learn wield a camera!)))))

This last one I winged without a pattern - just your basic valance with an edging like the on pillowcases. Pretty much how I've been making all the curtains around the house so far. Easy peasy - just take the measurement of the width of your window & double it in fabric.

And for anyone who cares, my seams are bitchin! Cleaaan & neat, no raw edges, everything folded & stitch or "French" seamed. Next project I will take crappy pictures of the insides too.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Cherry Curtains!

2011-06-17T22:29:00.000-04:00

Well I did it. I officially turned 39 today. And guess what? I didn’t turn into a pumpkin or grow a wart on my nose. In fact, I'm happy to report it feels just like 29...but with 10 years experience. ;)

I was reading some blogs earlier & I’m suddenly fascinated with how other sew enthusiasts have their sewing rooms set up. Pretty cool! I’ve turned my dining room into my little sewista studio because it’s smack dab in the heart of the house. Even if I had my choice of one of the four bedrooms, I do believe I would still choose this very spot.

Sometimes on a Friday night I like to sort through my things, touch all the fabrics, flip thru craft magazines and fill my mind with ideas to sleep on. It helps me erase the week and get focused on what the hubs likes to call my “Anti-Sewcial Saturdays”. (My guess is if the man knew just how quiet my motor mouth would become while sewing, he’d have bought me a machine years ago!)

Tomorrow (after breakfast out with my oldest son!!) I’ve got plans to make kitchen window valances with the black/dot/cherry & the black/white gingham/cherry….I love these two fabrics, especially together!

What I'm not so in love with is how Mr. Jones, ever the 80's hairband fan, feels the need to bust out in song with "Sheeee's my cherry pie..." whenever he see's it laying out. You think that will wear off once they are hanging? Gawd, I hope so.

I also love this rose print which has no name but I found it super cheap at Hancock:

So feminine, the background is creamy colored, and although it's just cotton, it's very silky smooth. Not sure what to do with it since its just one yard. I wonder if there is a book or website that shares 1-yard-only-ideas?

Have you tried Mary Ellen's Best Press? It’s the bestest. It gives fabric body without buildup or shine. It’s a little pricier than starch, but worth it. I've had it a few months and only use it sparingly, so it's lasting me longer than anticipated. I chose unscented. You can also get it in lavender, citrus, cherry blossom, & I think linen. Also purchased as Hancock:

Sweet Dreams kids!

39 Things To Do In My 39th Year

2011-06-16T21:44:00.000-04:00

So I’ve decided that since this 39 thing is happening despite my feelings about it then I may as well jump on board. Plus, I thought of another way to look at it: I’m pretty damn young when you consider I have an almost 20 year old son. Look, I’m no an advocate for having a child at 19 but I’m pretty positive my first born saved me from the kind of lifestyle that reality shows are famous for.

The following are 39 things I’d like to do in my 39^th year. Some may seem a little silly to you but keep in mind they are meant to be attained in a years’ time by a full time working wife & mama. For the most part they are things that I usually talk myself out of for various reasons….

In no particular order:

1. Learn to sew with something besides cotton

2. Learn to sew a dress for myself

3. Hand make Christmas gifts for friends

4. Get on the Griffin at Busch Gardens

5. Go to the Outerbanks of Carolina

6. Host a dinner party

7. Paint our bedroom

8. Get a new tattoo

9. Wear high heels more often

10. Wear flip flops less often

11. Buy myself some new Ugg boots in the fall

12. Get a new exercise ball

13. Learn some tummy control yoga moves

14. Support a local charity with hand made items

15. Sky-dive??? Hubby wants to. I’m not so sure.

16. Participate in a craft show event

17. See Josh Groban at the Norfolk Scope

18. Fly home to California for a visit

19. Visit Dollywood

20. Take the Hampton Roads boat tour

21. Re-pierce the top holes in my ears

22. Get an adjustable dress form mannequin

23. Get a new computer

24. Get an iPod touch that is mine, all mine

25. Make my cubicle at work a little more inspirational

26. Get pretty new bedroom furniture after #7 is complete

27. Go apple picking again at Carters Mountain in Charlottesville

28. Can homemade apple butter

29. Be a better blogger

30. Finally take advantage of the Bath & Body Works coupons I keep getting

31. Get new winter coat – whatever suits my fancy, not just what’s on the sale rack

32. Update from a Blackberry to an Android

33. Take a quilting class or workshop

34. Host a giveaway on my blog

35. Start collecting windchimes

36. See if I can get my 3 boys to sit on Santa’s lap just one more time for a pic together (by then they will be 20, 17, & 11)

37. Go to a fancy spa for a deep tissue massage

38. Order lobster and see what all the rage is about – just don’t make me choose from the tank, I’ll cry

39. Drop 20 pounds before turning 40!!!

*********

PS:

This is my office chair:

It is ergonomically designed to relieve pressure on stress points in the body.

Right.

It feels like I'm sitting on patio furniture all day.

Plus?

ITS SEE THROUGH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.

You know what I think? I think it needs a cover. Except I'm not quite sure where or how to begin with that particular task.

Right now it's only redeeming feature is that I just saw Sheldon sitting in the exact same chair on an episode of Big Bang Theory. I heart Sheldon!

Even so. I'm still totally covering mine & adding a cushion just as soon as I figure something office appropriate out. Sorry Sheldy-luv. Mama's tush needs more cush.

If You're Awesome & You Know It, Clap Your Hands

2011-06-15T21:33:00.000-04:00

That’s what I always say! Well, actually this is my first time saying it but who’s counting? The point is, if you are awesome, start clapping & give yourself some credit.

I’ve been working my way through ~~an exorcism~~ a reinvention and I’ve found incredible strength and inspiration in this poem - which I always thought was by Nelson Mandela but when googling for the sake of this post learned the real author might actually be Marianne Williamson:

Our Deepest Fear

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness

That most frightens us.

We ask ourselves

Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small

Does not serve the world.

There's nothing enlightened about shrinking

So that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine,

As children do.

We were born to make manifest

The glory of God that is within us.

It's not just in some of us;

It's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,

We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we're liberated from our own fear,

Our presence automatically liberates others.

"Your playing small does not serve the world" ~ The entire poem is sheer genius but that line in particular just resonates. I just want to stick this to bathroom mirrors everywhere so everyone will read it....because I'm pretty sure everyone you ask will say they never tire of feeling its power everytime.

I'm in a good place emotionally, creatively, spiritually, and employmentally (oh yeah, mama got her old job back!) and I just want to holler from ~~the rooftop~~ - err, make that the front porch, have you seen the roof on this place?

Anyways, I'm not sure if its the fresh start or being around a ton of amazing people all day again or if its my impending birthday that gets the credit for my new groove - maybe its all three. All I know is I've never been this happy while being this broke - LOL, still waiting on that first paycheck to hit my account. Going from a weekly pay period to bi-weekly takes some adjusting when it wasn't planned for.

But we're low key people, we find entertainment in playing together or even just being near each other while doing separate things. Like when he's on the couch watching a race or golf and I'm at my sewing machine madly working away on valances and curtains for almost every window in the house. I'm like a crazy person now that I can sew window treatments! Two bedrooms and the laundry down, two more bedrooms and the kitchen to go. I won't mess with my living room - I can't quite top the gorgeous French Country Waverly thats in there at the moment, but I'm working on it.

Eventually I'm hoping to land a dress form mannequin so I can try my hand at clothes for myself. I'm falling hard and fast in love with the retro 50's housewife dresses - I wonder if I can pull that off? I may be more Ethel than Lucy in the size department so I'll need an adjustable one, but hubby just says I've got more to love on. Awwww....

Wait - rewind! He wasn't supposed to say that, he was supposed to say I'm totally a Lucy. Maybe I'll just start calling him Fred. Or Ricky Retardo.

I can't believe it, but in a couple of days I will be entering the last year of my 30's.

INSANE.

I don't even want to say the number 39, it depresses me.

I'm looking forward to 40 next year.

40 sounds cool, I like it.

But this 39 business is just weird.

I'm not a girl, not yet menopausal.

Hit it Britney!

2011-06-13T10:54:00.001-04:00

Note to self:

2011-06-12T11:14:00.001-04:00

Test post from BB :)

25 Things About Me

2011-05-06T12:20:00.000-04:00

Because I am a copy cat and because I'm sure you were all dying to know, here are my 25 things about me:

(Idea totally stolen from Airing My Dirty Laundry's blog earlier this week.)

1. My hair is naturally curlier than it has a right to be. We're talking a cross between Bernadette Peters and a Spanish Water Dog curly, not wildly sexy Julia-Roberts-a'la-Pretty Woman curly. I used to spend 30 minutes a day flat ironing it.

2. I will be 39 next month and I'm kind of freaking out about that. It's also why I don't want to spend 30 minutes on hair anymore.

3. The way to my heart is through a pedicure.

4. I adore high heels and sometimes I buy them but then I feel like a little girl playing dress up so I end up wearing flip flops instead.

5. I once drove all the way across the country from California to Virginia by way of Arizona, New Mexico, Texas, Oklahoma, Arkansas, and Tennessee pulling a U-Haul in a Suburban with 3 boys, my 89 year old great grandmother, and a cat. (Mr. Jones had flown out ahead of us to start working.) It took 7 days/6 nights. We all survived.

6. I am allergic to walnuts but not pecans. They give me blisters in and around my mouth & swell my throat. This is not something you want to see. Ever.

7. My newest favorite book is The Help by Kathryn Stockett.

8. As a little girl my favorite book was On The Banks Of Plum Creek. For a time I believed myself to be the reincarnation of Laura Ingalls.

9. As a tween my favorite book was Jacob I Have Loved.

10. As a teen my favorite book was Flowers In The Attic. (And then all of the VC Andrews books ad nauseum.)

11. The other way to my heart is through strawberry a strawberry patch. I love to go berry picking & then eat them all gone.

12. Last month I got offended at the wild bunny rabbits who hop through our backyard because they didn't touch the head of cabbage I gave them for days. For. Days. "It's not poison you know!" I maybe cried to them from the kitchen window.

13. My favorite sitcom is The Big Bang Theory. I big-puffy-heart-love nerdy guys.

14. I have 4 tattoos, this always shocks people because only the one on my inner ankle is visible. It's a pink daisy with a red ladybug. I wonder if the butterfly above my belly button will look like a moth when I'm 85?

15. If we don't move back home to California, then someday I'd like to move to Nashville.

16. I am also allergic to stupid people.

17. If it were up to me, every meal would be either Mexican food or cereal.

18. In February I joined one of those bootcamp for women exercise classes. This can also be referred to as "the time I went insane". Susan Powter I am not.

19. My idea of a hot date is dinner & a stand-up comedy show.

20. I fully believe that since I am the only woman in the house I should never have to take out the trash.

21. My biggest pet peeve in the whole wide world is eating noises. Unless something is crunchy, we should not hear you smacking your chops. I especially hate it when actors over-act the act of eating. Really? You have to suck your teeth & make gulping sounds between sentences? I wanted to beat Brad Pitt to a pulp in Ocean's Eleven. And I'm still not sure how "Eat, Pray, Love" made my top 10 movie list considering it's all about some chowin' down.

22. My favorite SATC girl is Charlotte.

23. I traumatized my husband with information I found on ancestry.com. That's an "in the near future" blog story. My own ancestry currently appears to be pretty damn boring; however I remain diligent in my quest to find a royalty link somewhere. It's got to be there. I can feel it.

24. The only game show I like is Jeopardy.

25. I love going to watch plays. In the theater, at a high school, musical or not.

Your turn?

WARNING: Bad sentence structure ahead

2011-04-19T19:04:00.000-04:00

Just so ya know, I'm long winded tonight....

First, and most importantly, thank you to so many of you for your kind words this past Friday. I made it through the work day with mascara intact! And I even spent the evening doing something a little different - something fun with a girlfriend who proposed a new way of honoring Kaitlyn: with a toast instead of a tear.

Her name is Tina & she took me to a really yummy Indian place for dinner. Because she's, like, sophisticated n' stuff.

I'd never been to an Indian restaurant before (kind of on purpose because the smell of curry makes me want to hurl) and the only other time I've even eaten Indian food is when Tina ordered some take-out - but this place was wonderful. :)

I had the ginger-mango chicken in "medium" and HELLOOO spicy mama! I should have known when the waitress asked "mild, medium, hot or Indian hot" that they meant business in the caliente department. Luckily I lurves me some spicy.

I also indulged with lots and lots of naan (bread?) and some kind of cilantro based sauce and some other sauce that may or may not be called Pinot Grigio.

Tina ordered a drink that looked alot like ice cold pepto bismal in a tall frosty glass but really it was non-alcoholic fruit-milk (?) since she was the DD. Have I told you how many awesomes it is to be carted around on a girl-date in a silver convertible Mustang? LOVE IT.

Tina is also my artsy friend (we saw Wicked together) so dinner was not all she had lined up for me that evening. After we were sufficiently full and I was warm & fuzzy from my ~~wine~~ spicy chicken we headed to the Starving Artist Studio and painted us some pottery.

And ate some more.

Because no one is EVER too full for a chocolate fondue bar.

This is my mug - oh, and also my travel coffee cup that I painted. We pick our pieces up this week, I'm so esssited to see how it turned out. :)

We went here, the Starving Artists Studio:

If you can't come to this one, find one near you. Go ahead and Google "paint your own pottery" ~ I'll wait.

~~~

Saturday sort of became a make up day for Friday - where I let myself go and spent some time with a box of tissue and travelling down memory lane. Mother Nature and I seemed to be on the same wavelength ~ the storm outside mirrored my feelings inside.

With Sunday came sunshine ~ also inside & out. As a matter of fact, it was all that sunshine in my face that made me see the horror of my eyebrows and ew, nails. Clearly time for a little appearance-maintenance. I love love love a pedicure ~ hot wax or sitting still for a manicure not so much. But the next 2 weekends are gonna be busy, the time was now. (Or then.)

Can I just say that if you are a creature of habit like me that it's okay to stay within your comfort zone? Let's go with "it's Tina's fault" for what happened when I chose to hit up a different salon.

All this time I have been perfectly content going to my little down-trodden nail shop with its 4 pedicure chairs and 6 manicure stations but only 2 actual people who work there. But my inner voice sounded suspiciously Tina-like when it was all "why go to that depressing little hole in the wall, dahling, when you can upgrade to the fancy place with the chandelier and the golden buddha for the same price?"....

You thought I was kidding about the chandelier & gold buddha??

BAD IDEA.

They were mean to me you guys.

Meaner than the Rodeo Drive shops were to Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman.

So mean that they did this to me:

Because apparently? I had a beard. Only I didn't. A fact I could have argued with the little old asian lady over had I only understood what she was saying under her sars mask BEFORE she slapped hot wax on my cheek.

What I THOUGHT she asked me while I was laying back with my eyes closed all vulnerable was if I like my eyebrows thin. I replied "yes, shape them up please".

Then, slap - aaaah! I sat up, opened my eyes, and gave her the "please don't kill me" look - to which she replied "it ok, I make you sexxy for summatye, good for skin, you relax."

I relax. Sure. Who doesn't relax with their double chin being ripped off one strip at a time?

Due to "Miss Swann's" advantage over my precarious situation, I decide to not piss her off while she stops me from "alookin' like a man".

The immediate results: see above, lasted 2 hours.

The final results: unnoticeable difference - she did not, by any definition, make me sexxy.

Husbands comments: What the...?? Did they jump you in at the salon? Are you in a gang now?

Yeah. I'm gangsta and I roll ~~with~~ balls of yarn.

April Showers

2011-04-13T16:28:00.005-04:00

Before April showers have a chance to bring those May flowers, it brings a flood of memories from the saddest day of our lives.

Katie's Day.

Her story is here, please forgive my heart, I don't have the wherewith-all to retell it at the moment. I hope you will go read it...

I hesitate to use the words "easy" and "better" because neither are adjectives for the loss of a baby - but in regards to the years, some are better than others. This Friday marks number 12. A dozen years since my only daughter was born and died.

During the day I am taking extra measures to doll up the exterior to hide the grief on the interior. Seems superficial I know, but you learn what works and what works for me is smiling. It keeps the lump in my throat down. The tears flow at night when the kids have all gone to sleep and I'm safe in my husbands arms.

Almost always I take the day off. Unfortunately, this year, I will be working because the income is really important. Bright side: it's a Friday.

I am very good at self-control but I'm human and if ever a person deserves a day to be completely self-absorbed mine would be Katie's Day. My emotions on April 15th of any year run the gammit from melancholy to you-don't-wanna-eff-with me. My heartache becomes a scale by which I measure everything selfishly.

I could've asked for the day off in advance except that would've required an explanation. I'm not good at those on "the day of". For me,on any other day of any other month, I can talk about it. April 15th rolls around and I don't want to share and I don't want a hug and I'm not looking for pity, just space. Space (and grace) to be a big fat hot mess so that the rest of the year I can be normal. Whatever the hell normal is.

I'm lucky to have some beautiful friends back home that know this about me.

Friends that knew us then.

Friends that where there at the funeral.

Friends that still go to Katie's grave and leave flowers because I can't from 3000 miles away.

Friends that don't just go on her birthday & friends that know that texting me pictures of her little headstone is what makes me smile, not cry.

Friends that provide the strongest support system anyone could ask for.

Truly-amazing-awesome-no-holds-barred-got-your-back-loyalty type of friendships are rare, but they are forever.

These are a couple I have received in the past year....

Instead I will ask for Max's birthday off to celebrate his awesomeness. He was born 1 year & 2 weeks to the day after his big sister. He's my lifesaver, my rainbow after the storm.

Yeah, I'd have to say I'm blessed in the 'son' department.

(Me: Ok, pose like Brett Michaels! Them: Um, who is Brett Michaels?)

(Me: Does it hurt? Him: You know how they say there is no such thing as a dumb question? Well...)

~~~

April Showers ~ Sugarland

early to bed, early to rise....

2011-01-11T05:33:00.003-05:00

....makes me yawn & stretch & time to come alive. (like Dolly!)

wow it feels crazy to be up this early without a perfectly good reason. i think the last time i purposely crawled out of bed and into the shower at 4:30 in the morning was when i worked for the trucking company back home & had to be there by 6. i was off by noon. that job was AWESOME. i think i loved every second of every day there, really & truly. the only reason i left was because we moved here.

i will never forget the look on my boss Butch's face when i gave my notice. he was a big tough guy, super clean cut, would put you in the mind of the guy who played THING on Fantastic Four ( pre-turned-to-stone-hulky dude of course!). and since he was a graduate of VMI, he knew exactly what i would be in for moving to Virginia.

"shellshock" is what he said. i didn't believe him. he spent 6 days trying to talk me out of it. after that he made peace with it and said if he couldn't stop us, then we had his blessing.

the big undercover sweetheart that he was made a few phone calls to a friend of his who worked for a sister company out here in a place called Portsmouth, told him i was headed this way & said he'd be a fool not to hire me. so the guy did. right there, over the phone one day. but i never took the job.

turns out, i was utterly and completely shellshocked. Butch was right. i called him to say as much and you know what? he never once muttered the words "i told you so". because awesome people don't do that shit.

i kicked and screamed and pitched a fit every week wanting to go home those first two years. eventually i settled in. or maybe i just got tired of fighting a losing battle.

but that restless feeling is back. Virginia is not our forever home. it's a lovely area in alot of places, but the people....well, i just can't figure them out.

~have an amazing day! peace out.

and ps: holy crap but that pic made my eyes well up with tears. that dude looks so much like Butch, makes me miss him all over again.
best.boss.ever.

The One Where My Wallet Performs A Vanishing Act

2011-01-02T11:31:00.015-05:00

Not to be a Debbie Downer, but you know what sucked in 2010? Getting my wallet stolen.

Or at least I think it was stolen.

I did all the usual brain-wracking & visually re-tracing of my steps, but none of it conjured up images of having put it anywhere other than right back in my purse.

I called the grocery store where I had last been, but they said there was nothing in the lost & found box. Then I went there in person, because you never know if the gum-smacking Flo on the other end is really looking, y'know? You'd wanna be sure too.

Panic had settled in for the long haul and I couldn't sit still at work while my Betty Boop wallet was missing instead of tucked in my purse where it belonged. Plus a long holiday weekend was looming. My drivers licenses (current VA and sentimental CA), my social security card, my cards. No cash though. But the whole reason there was no cash is because there was a debit card - the only one linked to the bank account where I had just deposited my paycheck. GASP! No access to bank means NO access to grocery store. I had to go!

I ran home where hubby had searched high and low but to no avail. Then I RE-searched high and low because, Hello, he's a man and sometimes when he's looking in the refrigerator he can't see the butter for the milk.

After that, I dug out my birth certificate, our marriage certificate, bills for proof of address - more panic! OMG, what will they think at DMV when they see that my gas bill is past due? Oh hell, no time for that. Go! Go! Go!

I got ahead of myself earlier because this is the part where I stop at the grocery store to look over gum-smacking Flo's shoulder while she roots through the Drawer Of Lost Mittens & Baby Teething Keys. Do people really go back looking for baby's lost teething keys? That's just all kinds of gross. Even if you boiled them why would you want to stick them back in your kids gummy little mouth ever again? I guess people don't which is why they are still in that drawer and in which case why doesn't Flo just throw them away so she can better search for my Betty Boop wallet? No use. They could dump the drawer completely out and it still wouldn't be in there.

The assistant store manager offered to let me come back later & watch the surveillance footage. How friggin awesome is that?! I'm sure its because I told them about the old man in the Dallas Cowboys coat who had asked me for money in the parking lot the evening before. Even though I told him I didn't have any he still took my buggy back to the cart return for me. He even waved goodbye. Someone mentioned that he could have pick-pocketed me but he never got that close. The shopping buggy was always between us and the guy is there alot. I'm not sure what his gig is, but he's not gross or creepy. He sometimes mentions having a wife but I think he drifts down from the veterans hospital and hangs out.

It suddenly occurs to me that I know way too much about the Dallas Cowboy panhandler. But I'm observant when in parking lots thanks to my fear of someone stealing all my groceries while I'm loading them into the car.

Next stop, the credit union. Where more awesome people work. The bank manager was super kind and very understanding and even printed out a ginormous copy of my drivers license that they had on file. Not that anyone will accept it as a legal form of identification, but it helped me. I still can only spout my California DL number. I've never memorized my Virginia one. I'll work on that this year.

Twenty minutes later I had a brand-shiny-new atm card in my hand and was headed to the DMV.

I bet those three little letters made you cringe huh? They do me that way too.

DMV: The place nobody ever likes to go because it's always something.

Long lines, dumb people, rude people, mean people, the stupid eye charts, the picture taking. Do they get hand me down camera's from the cops or what? I don't care who you are, you know you look like a convict on your driver's license. All that's missing is booking numbers.

But guess what? I was in and out of there in lickity split time too. The lady at the information counter didn't even need to see my past due bill or anything! She gave me a form and a bingo number and pointed to a bank of chairs. I looked for an area with at least 2 or 3 empty seats surrounding it. I don't like to sit right next to people if I don't have to. I didn't find one so I had to sit next to this guy with, you'll never guess, a twitch. If ever I have to sit directly next to a person in a row of connecting seats they always have to have a twitch. Or the sniffles. It's my lot in life. I can never meet the "good" kind of interesting people, always the twitchy/sniffly/humming/gassy kind.

I didn't last long. I filled out my form, checked the bingo board to see how close I was to getting my number called, and headed to the ladies room. (Can I just say I don't think actual "ladies" use that room? More like they brought in some monkeys from the zoo to let them bathe in the sinks & splash water everywhere. Gross.) I went to grab a wad of paper towels to dry off a place on the counter so I could set down my wallet-free purse. Evidently, paper was not on the supply list this week. So I gripped my purse between my thighs and rearranged my bangs and removed the eyeliner smudges from under my eyes.

Then I stood back and stared at myself in the mirror, realizing with defeat that on my new government issue I.D. I was going to look like the offspring of Medusa and Gene Wilder. Only less cute.

The little old man from UP processed my new drivers license for me. He even sort of grunted as he worked (see lot in life comment above). Grunting and chicken pecking keyboard skills aside though, he was very efficient and he didn't make small talk. Two qualities I prefer in a DMV employee.

Feeling a little tornado-whipped, I returned to the office where I finally allowed myself the time to think about the possibility of my wallet having been stolen there. We had a worker guy come in to pack up the holiday decor that I felt uneasy about. Someone who many people have told me worrisome things about, including my coworker who mentioned double checking the safety of her own wallet when she saw him the last time. I'm not used to being around people like that and I don't really like it. I hate to sound so judgmental and base my opinion of someone I don't even know on the stories others have told me, but at the same time, I'd be stupid to not at least heed the warning.

I shared my concern with my boss who immediately felt that my fear was probably not true but understood my need to ask. She has known the guy for a long time and provided him with side jobs and says he has always had her trust. That was total crap. When she helped to look it wasn't to ease my worries, it was to save face because I'm pretty sure she knew her creep worker had taken it. Ok thats not nice. In fairness, he had but one opportunity to really take it (and he probably did) and there's no way of knowing for sure if he did or not (except my Jedi-mind powers tell me so).

My gut is so not satisfied.

And what exactly do you do when you have a gut feeling but absolutely no proof? Well, I'll tell you.You alert everyone linked to anything in your wallet and you start over. It sucks. But it is what it is and I can't just go around pissing people off without evidence.

I still haven't found a replacement wallet yet. The one I had was given to me by my kids several years ago. I'll keep looking. Wallet shopping is not as easy as it sounds. I keep comparing everything to the Betty Boop one I'll never see again.

Now where is my crochet hook? I have a pizza scarf to get busy on....

Oooooh, aaaaah, MALABRIGIO WOOL hand dyed to look like cheesy goodness!

it doesn't matter who's wrong or right.....

2010-12-29T21:29:00.006-05:00

JUST BEAT IT!

michael jackson's music is so insanely addictive! it doesn't seem to matter where you are, when michael's music plays people sing along. ever notice that? tell me you haven't busted out with a high pitched "heee, heee" at least once in your life. bet ya have. people don't even have to be a "fan" per se to suddenly find themselves claiming not to be billie jeans lover or trying to moonwalk to smooth criminal, they just do it naturally. like itching a scratch (scratching an itch?).

right now the kids (max, aj, & aj's girlfriend "t") are playing this michael jackson game for wii that "t" brought over - and it's the awesomest game ever! i simultaneously love it and feel really aged by it. hello, you can't not feel old when your kids are dancing to music that came out when you were still wearing florescent tights & braided headbands. (two things which have never come back into fashion.)

my kids, like most i am sure, think they have the market cornered on all things music, movies, and mtv. they think their generation is THE generation. i want to tell them "just you wait and see" but i can't bring myself to use those words, because those were the words my own parents used and i'd like to refrain from turning into them for as long as possible! so instead i sit here and laugh - with them and at them. mostly at them. because thats the awesome kind of mom i am.

i am really looking forward to the new year but i haven't made any resolutions yet. i've heard people say they are resolving not to make resolutions and even though i know they are just being funny, it does sort of sound like a good plan

you know what another good plan would be? going to bed early. i'm fighting a head cold thanks to a walk on the beach during sunday's blizzard. not the smartest idea, i know, but it was a romantic one considering mr. jones rarely likes to go for walks on the beach.

warm summer evening, a cool breeze coming in off the water -
ME: honey, wanna go for a walk?
HIM: nope.

freezing winter day, the most snowfall virginia has seen in 30 years -
HIM: baby get your boots on, lets go see the 5 foot waves!
ME: uuuuh, sure.

yeah, even the kids were smart enough to sit this one out. they stayed inside, warm, drinking hot cocoa by the light of ~~the fire~~ their video games. but it was totally worth it. and probably the exact scenario vicks had in mind when they invented nyquil.

the snowfairies came thru!

2010-12-27T15:35:00.001-05:00

thanks to a foot of snow outside i get to stay home warm, cozy & SAFE with my guys. my family back home will be relieved to know that yes, i did finally call in (after a few hours of waiting for someone to call me) to find that no, i did not have to slip & slide my happy tail in to the office today. our little blizzard back here made the news out on the west coast & knowing i don't still have my 4 wheel drive - well, they were worried.

its pretty weird to be home on a monday when you are used to working. i did a little laundry & baked some cookies, played on facebook for a long while, and am now taking a break surfing the web for yarn storage idea's. i want something that allows me to see what i have at a glance but still protects it from dust bunnies. i love the idea of Ikea-ish boxy but narrow floor to ceiling shelves, but how is that protective? plastic bins are protective, but how is that attractive? decisions, decisions.

crochet, much like blogging, is another little hobby of mine that got put on the back burner this past year. i never completely stopped, but my heart wasn't always in it either. i let people who don't really matter get into my head way more than they deserved to be. but having realized that people can only steal our joy when we let them, i'm snapping out of all that. when i've had a particularly stupid experience or edgy day i make a point of picking up my yarn & channeling that energy into something fun, and it works! i've also been making a point of spending at least one evening a week with girlfriends. laughter is an amazing attitude adjuster.

those of you on facebook have already seen these snapshots but i'm sharing them again here because...because....well, because i can! :)

my mom & step dad "commissioned" me to make these hats for the kiddo's in the family....my nieces & nephews that i have yet to meet because they live so far away. two live along the puget sound of washington state and two are in las vegas. i can't wait to meet them someday soon! in the meantime i await pictures of them in these adorable (if i do say so myself) beanies:

these came on the heels of 3 orders i had just completed for neighbors and 2 others for my older boys' girlfriends....so i've kinda been the mad-hatter-mama lately. fine by me! fun fun. :)