SweetAngel's blog

Take a chance, you might win...

2011-07-19T20:31:00.001+03:00

Christmas was approaching and as we all know presents are Its symbol. My dear lady, as I love to call her, had another gift prepared for me by then and of course I had something for her too, only this time I was going to send her something more plain, simple, symbolic if you will. A poem, specially composed for her eyes to see and lips too read(Last month I misplaced most of the poems I wrote and it’s hard to remember now all of them, it’s been almost a year since I last read them, but I will try my best to remember) . I was planning on taking a trip to her town as a present for Christmas too, but she claimed to be caught in the “family shackle” so I canceled my plan, or should I better say, delayed … the next couple of months went by with everyday messaging and long nights at the phone, and this all proved me that I was more and more sure that I wanted to see her, in flesh. So this is march 2010, I was chatting, text messaging, and losing nights at the phone with her since September 2009, about 6 months we could estimate. I finally decided to take my heart between my teeth and go for it.. of course I had asked her if she is ok with my coming, several times, but she seemed to take it as a joke, she did not believe I was really going to do this… just to meet her… ohhh but I was, I really was. From my town to hers there was only one direct train, the 1821, and was supposed to arrive at 2:59 A.M. after an 8-hour journey. On the 5^th of march, I was on the 1821 on my way to meet my better half.. I had to travel light because I really didn’t know what will I find when I’ll reach the destination… I had no idea how will she react, from the moment I set my foot on that train and to the moment I arrived, lots and lots of questions crossed my mind .. repeatedly . Will she be there.. Will she like me… Will I like her… Will she be as I expect.. Will I stand up to what she expects .. most based on fear as you probably figured out, the fear of the unknown…

Is there romance in mailing?

2011-07-14T18:49:00.002+03:00

Reached home.. almost breathless.. my little brother was already back from school, so I had to lock myself in the kitchen in order to get some privacy, but no key was available so I blocked the door with one of my legs and with my hands I was trying to open the gift box as fast as I can. A book waited me inside, one small wooden bracelet, a congratulation card signed with a lipstick kiss, a pair of underwear, and of course a note.. with a lot of question marks in it.. and perfumed all over..she had broke the relationship she was in and waited for me to make the next move.. well.. somehow she already did. I could not just stand there and let her wait for my reply, I knew now she was interested, this was my chance.. don’t blow it. As soon as I could, I got something for her too, arrived around Christmas if I recall well. Nothing fancy, all handmade, it does count more for me and hoped it will for her too. I was regularly visiting the transfusion center for voluntary blood donation, because when I turned 18 I found out I had the rarest blood type in the world and the best suited for donation too. Therefore I got a fluffy heart from the transfusion center. I bought 3 white roses and one red, took them at home, I got 2 meters of colorful wrapping sheet , one shoe box and started to work on my hand-made gift. I wrapped the shoe box, I soaked the fluffy heart with my perfume, I wrote a short poem for her(which I will share will you later), I sacrificed all the roses and spread their petals in the box and sent it out by mail. Each package took from 2 to 4 days to reach it’s destination. We couldn’t send the packages to each other’s home because none of our parents were aware of our attraction.(by now you must have known we were at least attracted to each other)So the mail had to be picked up by each of us 7 days tops from it’s arrival.

Surprise

2011-07-10T11:06:00.003+03:00

Of course I was pleased when I got a reply, even though I knew she was with another guy, the reply to my simple message gave me hope. Starting from that day on, every night I sent a good night message to this girl I can hardly say I knew back then. All I knew then, was that she was with about 6 months older than me, she is involved in a steady relationship, she is 320 miles away from me, and she usually reply to my messages. I kept to my plan for as long as 2 months, my birthday was approaching and she knew it, so she had a surprise prepared for me which should arrive on my birthday by mail. She was so stubborn that she did not disclose the content of it, although I was so curious as she informed me about my upcoming present with about 2 weeks before. Love letters… for me they are the romance signature, therefore in my opinion, if you haven’t wrote to your beloved at least one love letter then you’re not that much in love with her/him. Two days after my birthday the package arrived and my road to the post office was so much longer than usual, my heart seemed to pump my blood faster and faster as I was getting closer to my destination, although I was just walking, but finally, after a long 20 minutes walk I reached the office and got the package. You realize I could not open it there, so another 15 minutes I had to wait as I was running back home to find out what I got from her. Sent her a message to thank her although I didn’t know what was in, yet. . .

Distance relationship

2011-07-07T23:58:00.003+03:00

Hi there! So here I was, single, shy and with mainly two choices: a long range risk or a short range risk .

I say this because, in my opinion, a relationship started on Internet tend to minimize the risk involved for a long term relationship while the face-to-face tend to have a higher risk. I choose to give another chance to long distance relationship, this would be the 4^th.

First one was 160 miles, lasted 2 days since the meet-up,

Second, 90 miles, lasted 4 days since the meet-up,

Third, 200 miles , lasted about one month since the meet-up

This would be the fourth , here it is the beginning, you remember I was chatting once in a while with a girl who was already in a relationship, it passed about one year since our first chat so during that time we exchanged phone numbers, but we didn’t dare to call each other for whatever reason. September 2009, the 9^th , I got a new job and I decided to send this mysterious girl after all one message. In order to make you understand how shy I was took me 3 days to finally send it, the first message to her was sent on September 12^th because those 3 days between I was thinking what if she will be upset?, what if her boyfriend will see the message?, what should I write?, who am I to confuse her ? and many, many other questions pessimistic ones mostly. But in the last day I needed just one optimistic idea to determine me push the “send” button: what if she’s the one? So I sent to her my first innocent message at midnight: “Good night!”

Depression

2011-07-07T00:00:00.002+03:00

I will continue from where I left it hanging last time, the “break-up” with Dana. Short story is that she found another to make her happy, closer to her, as between me and her were about 200 miles, and I decided to forget about her, that doesn’t mean it was easy of course. After Dana, I made an oath to myself not to get involved in a new relationship for at least 6 months, and I did, for even more.

I gave myself to work, and spent time as much as I could with friends and kept myself away getting too close with any girl. However I have been enjoying some flirting activities with one girl. She was involved with someone else and maybe that was the reason I was so relaxed and not worry about my oath. I was only chatting over YM with her like once in a month or less, but even when she was offline I felt the need to leave her an offline message.. something stupid usually : Hi there! or hello lady!

Let’s go to September 2009, since between July 2008 and September 2009 nothing important really happen on this field. Here I was after nearly one year since Dana, by now I was completely cured and I felt the need to get close to some girl. Soon I was turning 19 and I was all alone, you must admit that is very sad for anyone to experience, of course we all have friends and parents and relatives which can make you feel complete and happy, but for me that was still incomplete. What choices did I have? What could I do? Most of you probably would have gone to a club to meet a new girl and make sure she notices you, then get to action, but I forgot to mention.. back then I was getting really nervous even at the thought of hitting on a new, total stranger girl. What would you do if you were me?. .

The Comeback

2011-07-05T12:00:00.006+03:00

Hello there bloggers and viewers!
This is going to be my introduction to my Comeback. Lots and lots of things happened since I last posted here, on my blog, good things, bad things. . .but I'm still the LoveProtector and I am back to share my story with you, every day I will post a piece of the story at midnight every day.

Every post will be in english language in order to make my posts easy to follow worldwide, also I will have the english version of my old posts done in a few days. Hope you'll enjoy them! See you tomorrow night

P.S. my time is GMT+2

1:04 .... Thoughts

2008-08-06T01:03:00.000+03:00

It's 1:0 4 ... midnight just passed... I was getting ready to go to bed, to pray for your happiness, wherever you may be, with whoever, but a message from you, unexpected made my sleepy need go away and my fingers pushed me to write this.

It's like a flower, last stage of a flower...
In the first stage you take a seed and gently place it in the most innocent ground, not too wet, not too sunny, not to far and not to close, just the way you used to place some more sensitivity in my heart every day not long ago...
Second phase , take care of the fragile young stem, just like you always teased me with your touching thoughts.... that got so deep in me I'm sure I'll never be able to let it go
Third phase, the blossom , the sweet shy perfume , for me it was enough to see you, but you choose to give me the most sincere hug ... a hug I'll remember a lifetime
a few later... I saw a tear in your left eye, but I didn't thought the next phase is so close...
Last phase, fading away ..... yes this is the way i feel now, but the flower's shadow will always keep me going, 'cause I know now , she's happy :) and I'm glad

So those who took their time to read this, please don't judge me for writing this, it's just something to leave behind before I'll be gone, and no one... will know anything from me again... I must go now...

the wound a woman made

2008-07-31T12:42:00.001+03:00

Sunt cel pe care ai sa-l vezi
Intotdeauna cand te pierzi,
Sunt cel ce-ti sare-n ajutor
Si cel ce plange de-al tau dor,
Sunt un regat de sentimente
Un oras-port de argumente,
Un corp hranit cu amagiri
Un suflet frant doar din priviri....

..>>>>>>>......<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>..............................................

Ma determini, ma seduci,
M-amagesti si ma saruti
Ma astepti si ma alergi
M-ametesti si ma tentezi,
Ma inspiri, ma obosesti
Insa nu ma plictisesti
Ma faci sa ma simt divin
Si ma lasi sa cad in vid.....

....>>>>>>.....<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>............................

Asa cum focul arde , o foaie in secunde
La fel si suferinta, ce-mi circula prin sange
Ma arde tot mai tare cand nu ma bagi in seama
Asa cum un tsunami, distruge un oras
Imi pustiesti tu mie, si cel mai scump lacas....

......>>>>>>.......<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>...........................

Ma simt precum o foaie uitata-ntr-un dulap
In casa unui om, ce e de mult plecat
Ma simt ca acea foaie, pe care nu s-a scris
Si nici nu se va scrie.
De cate ori stapanul dulapu-l deschidea,
Simteam o adiere pe suprafata mea.
Speram intotdeauna ca ma va lua si scrie:
Trei randuri de iubire,
Doua melancolie,
Si unul nebunie,
Toate-adresate tie!
Sa ma trimita-n lume, sa te gasesc pe tine
Sa ma trimita-n cer, sa ii gasesc un inger.
Sa te gasesc plangand,
De dorul lui plangand,
Si-apoi sa ma citesti, pe el sa il gasesti
Sa-i spui ca il iubesti.
Eu sa ma pierd in vant, iar voi doi sarutand...
Dar nu a fost asa, mereu ma amagea
Mereu si-ntotdeauna, ca "Soarele si Luna"
Realizez acum ca sunt de mult uitat
Ca nu sunt important
Ca sunt un orisicare
o foaie..... oarecare....

......>>>>>>..........<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>.......................

Nu iti doresc nicicand in gat
Un nod de ciocolata
Ce-acopera-n adancul lui
Un gust amar de fata.
In piept sa-ti bata aleator
Inima ce sta sa explodeze
De-al sufletului urlet arzator
Si-apoi sa mai urmeze
In vene-acidul concentrat
Ce curge tot siroaie
Si pana sa ajungi la pat
Genunchii ti se-nmoaie.
E evident nu poti acum
Sa te mai misti deloc,
Pentru ca-n minte-ai acel loc
Unde esti deja mort....

..........>>>>>>>>.................<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>......................

Asa cum stelele asteapta noaptea-ntotdeauna
Am sa astept si eu o fata, sa imi intinda mana
Sa ma ridice cand sunt jos, fara ca eu sa-i cer
Si intr-un mod miraculos sa pot din nou sa sper....

..................>>>>>>>>>>>>>...............<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>............................

Singur in patul meu pustiu,
Invaluit in noapte
Incerc s-adorm, dar sunt oprit
De ale noptii soapte.
Un sunet aspru prelungit,
Pe holul meu razbate
Ma las purtat spre usi uitate
Si ferestre incuiate.
Ma duc la geam,
Pasesc usor, si-observ k sunt patate
Au ale mele amintiri
In geamul lor gravate.
Nu pot sa dorm in acest ceas,
Sau poate nu ma las
Caci vantul asta m-a facut
Sa intru in impas...

Un pic de dragoste in tot ce faci

2008-07-25T14:05:00.000+03:00

Pentru a nu ajunge sa simti pe pielea ta si sa-mi dai dreptate adauga un zambet si o imbratisare in tot ce vrei sa faci si pune un strop de afectiune fiecarei calitati pe care o dezvalui..

Constiinta fara dragoste te face morocanos
Raspunderea fara dragoste te face brutal
Dreptatea fara dragoste te face dur
Priceperea fara dragoste te face ipocrit
Cunoasterea fara dragoste te face incapatanat
Stapanirea fara dragoste te face avar
Credinta fara dragoste te face fanatic
Viata fara dragoste e doar o umbra a lucrurilor ce ar putea fi

Of course.. too good to last

2008-07-25T13:55:00.001+03:00

Desigur asa se intampla de fiecare data... aproape.. cand ceva merge exact asa cum ti-ai dorit, sau un pic mai bine, nu va dura, deci... atunci cand se termina nu pierde timpul plangand ca s-a sfarsit... iti faci mai mult rau decat despartirea in sine, mergi mai departe, si adu-ti aminte de clipele frumoase.. lucrurile marrunte.. neinsemnate... care te-au facut sa te simti bine... in felul asta nu vei capata o imagine urata despre viatza si vei putea acorda o sansa din nou celor care te-ar putea rani, sau aprecia... eu traiesc cu speranta k exista cineva acolo.. undeva si pt mine si poate atunci cand voi inceta sa o mai caut... ma va gasi ea pe mine.. of course Dana will always be the special one for me

Truly.... Madly.... Deeply

2008-07-25T01:29:00.000+03:00

15 July 2008

guess what :D.... am fost si am vazut-o azi pe Dana :X:X:X:X:X... I'm soo in love 8->...

Am plecat dimineatza la ora 10:37 din Constanta, nu am fost singur, cu un foarte bun prieten al meu, Cosmin.

Iubita lui e din Tulcea si dak eu tot doream sa merg dupa Dana, m-am gandit sa-l anunt si pe el. Tot drumul am palavragit, k nu ne mai vazusem de mult timp, si cu ocazia asta ne-am pus la curent :).... (jumatate din drum am vb despre Dana si Coco, Coco fiind iubita lui ) planul de aks era sa mergem intai sa o vada el pe Coco la ora 11:30 k ea era la munk si doar atunci avea pauza, si pe urma sa mergem la Maliuc ( langa Tulcea) sa o vad pe Dana. Desigur planul nu a corespuns ..;)).. am ajuns in Tulcea pe la 12 si ceva... am cautat locul de munk al lui Coco de am innebunit, dar intr-un tarziu l-am gasit... :)

Apoi am sunat-o pe Dana sa o intreb ce face... si binteteles unde e, in urmatoarele randuri am sa incerc sa reproduc convorbirea la telefon , nu pot sa zic cat de exact o sa fie pt k memoria mea nu poate retine atat de mult :D

"(....)Eu: pe unde esti?

Dana: in Tulcea, pe vaporas

Eu: aoleuuuuu

Dana: ce aoleu ?

Eu: ati plecat?

Dana: nu, dar trebuie sa plecam ...

Eu: e bine, .. si eu sunt tot in Tulcea

Dana rade ... dupa o pauza : vorbesti serios?

Eu: da

Dana: u chiar ai venit? ... esti nebun!

Eu : da (...)

discutia a mai continuat dar ceea ce e important am scris :D

cu ideea fixa k nu o voi putea prinde pe mal inainte de a pleca vaporasul am sarit in masina si am plecat spre port ...

am lasat masina parcata pe unde am putut si am luat-o pe jos si am cautat-o jumatate de port dupa singura indicatie care mi-a dat-o Dana : un vaporas numit Banat si o cladire mare alba pe care scrie "Tulcea"

dupa cum spuneam din ce am vb cu Dana la telefon, mi se fixase ideea in cap k nu o voi mai prinde pe mal, ci va trebui sa ma multumesc cu un simplu gest din mana.. eu pe mal, ea pe vaporas la cine stie ce distanta de mal....

Spre bucuria mea, nu a fost asa.... dupa aproximativ 5 minute de uitat dupa numele multitudinii vaporaselor si dupa inscriptiile pe cladiri "Tulcea" ...5 minute al naibii de lungi.. in care imima mea batea din ce in ce mai tare cu trecerea fiecarei secunde.... am gasit-o... 8->... in toata splendoarea ei...

imbracata intr-un maiou roz, o bluzitza verde si pantaloni crem... parul cretz ..8->... si un zambet ce-ti taie respiratia... :X:X:X... crede-ma... knd am vazut-o nu am putut sa mai merg... cam 2 secunde am ramas blocat.. uimit.. indragostit

eu si Cosmin eram pe mal, ea pe vaporas, eu nu ma mai saturam sa o privesc.. Cosmin vorbea cu mine, stiu sigur, dar nu-mi amintesc un singur cuvant... ea... ohh ea vorbea la telefon cu o prietena cred... pasea usor, fara sa ma priveasca... dupa ce a ajuns si ea pe mal, cam la 5 metri de noi, a inchis telefonul, am vrut sa spun ceva... dar ea m-a oprit : "shhh.... " si m-a cuprins cu bratele ei firave... m-a strans in bratze , la fel si eu... a fost ceva special.... am stat asa un minut si jumatate aproape, ii simteam bataile inimii si stiam k si ea le simte pe ale mele, mi-am lasat capul pe umarul ei, nu am scos nici un cuvant .. nici eu .. nici ea... apoi ne-am desprins :)

Am inceput sa vorbim... diverse... asta nu e important... :-j so I'll skip it... ea se plangea k am prins-o in cea mai rea zi.... k era obosita... mi-a spus ce colegi de tabara are.. si k va sta o saptamana... :d.. in momentul ala am vrut sa o iau si sa o aduc la Constanta......asta se intampla dupa aproximativ 20 de minute de conversatie.... am apucat-o de mijloc...

i-am spus lu' Cosmin sa o apuce si el de picioare si am propus sa o „rapim”... a fost doar pt a vedea reactia ei si sa-i arat k as fi in stare dar.. am mai spus .. nu doresc sa-i creez probleme.... :).. apoi... s-a dus in vaporas sus... crede-ma abia dupa ce a plecat de langa mine mi-am adus aminte k aveam aparatul foto la mine.. :)))... :D dar... nici makr el nu tinea cu mine.. in ciuda faptului k aveam 3 perechi de baterii la mine, nu am reusit sa fac decat 3 poze... toate erau descarcate .. :))):-j.. dar nu asta conteaza.... am stat la o distanta de 4-5 metri de ea pana a plecat vaporasul... nu doream sa spun nimic... dar as fi vrut s-o sarut .. insa nu am facut nimic, pt k era cu grupul ei acolo ...dak am fi fost doar noi doi nu as fi stat pe ganduri....

deci.. am stat si am privit-o doar... pana cand a plecat vaporasul…..printre priviri, cum vaporasul de indeparta din ce in ce mai mult de mal am zarit o lacrima in ochii ei…. semnificatia … ramane un mister pt mine si in ziua de azi….

Un defect al Femeii

2008-06-23T11:48:00.000+03:00

Un defect al Femeii

Cand Dumnezeu a facut femeia deja era in a sasea zi de munca si facea ore suplimentare.

Atunci aparu un inger si-l intreba: „De ce iti pierzi atata timp cu asta?”

Si Domnul raspunse: „ Ai vazut cartea tehnica?”

„Trebuie sa fie lavabila in totalitate, dar sa nu fie de plastic, sa aiba mai mult de 200 de piese mobile, si sa fie capabila sa functioneze fiind alimentata cu orice, chiar si cu resturi; in poala ei sa stea comod pana la patru copii in acelasi timp, sa aiba un sarut care sa poata vindeca de la un genuchi julit pana la o inima ranita, si o sa faca totul numai cu doua maini.”

Ingerul se minuna de cerinte.

„Cu doar doua maini ….. imposibil”

Si asta e doar modelul standard?

„E prea mutla munca pentru o singura zi… Asteapta pana maine sa o termini.”

„Nu, n-am sa o las pe maine,” protesta Domnul. „ sunt pe punctul de a termina aceasta creatie care este favorita inimii mele.

Ea se vindeca singura atunci cand e bolnava, si poate muncii pana la 18 ore pe zi.”

Ingerul se apropie si atinse femeia.

„Dar ai facut-o atat de delicata”

„Este delicata, spuse Domnul, dar in acelasi timp atat de puternica. Nu-ti poti inchipui cat de rezistenta si de ce reusite e in stare.”

„O sa fie in stare sa gandeasca?” intreba ingerul

Dumnezeu raspunse:

„Nu numai k o sa fie capabila sa gandeasca ci si sa negocieze.”

Atunci ingerul vazu ceva si intinzand mana atinse obrazul femeii..

„Doamne, mi se pare k modelul asta pierde lichid! Ti-am spus k incercai sa pui prea multe in ea.”

„Nu pierde lichid, e o lacrima.” Il corecta Domnul

„Pentru ce e lacrima?” intreba ingerul..

Si Domnul spuse:

„Lacrimile sunt felul ei de a-si exprima jalea, dragostea , singuratatea, suferinta si orgoliul.”

Asta il misca mult pe inger

„Esti un geniu, Doamne, te-ai gandit la toate. Femeia este intr-adevar minunata.”

Este!

Femeia are puteri ce-i uimeste pe barbati:

Trece prin dificultati, face fata greutatilor, dar este fericita si indragostita.

Surade cand vrea sa tipe.

Canta cand vrea sa planga.

Plange cand e fericita si rade cand e nervoasa.

Lupta pentru a-si apara valorile.

Infrunta nedreptatile.

Nu accepta un „nu” ca raspuns daca ea crede ca exista o solutie mai buna.

Isi rupe de la gura pentru ca familia ei sa aiba.

Merge la medic cu o prietena careia ii este frica sa mearga singura.

Iubeste fara sa ceara nimic in schimb.

Plange cand fii ei reuses in viatza si se bucura cand prietenii obtin premii.

Este fericita cand aude de o nunta sau de nasterea unui copil.

I se frange inima cand moare o prietena.

Sufera cand pierde pe cineva drag, in schimb se dovedeste a fi puternica atunci cand crezi ca a epuizat toate fortele.

Stie ca poate vindeca suferinta cu un sarut si o imbratisare.

Si totusi…. Femeia are un defect:

Nu stie care este adevarata ei valoare!

2008-03-17T17:35:00.000+02:00

Trust me, this is made with sand only....!

2008-03-17T17:30:00.001+02:00

Only some can see the true image...

2008-03-17T16:36:00.000+02:00