Shenanigans of a Southern Redhead

I don't know who I am anymore.

2016-05-27T11:50:00.002-04:00

tap, tap. is this thing on?

I don't have any life updates...no home renovations, engagement photos, wedding details, fun summer outfits or growing babies.

but I have been on a "journey" of sorts and I wanted to share.

I swear this is not me trying to sell you something or get you to join my squad by paying a "small" fee and sipping on smoothies all day long or get those wrinkles gone.

this is just me, being real, and letting you know how it's going.

back in january, my weight was the 2nd highest it's ever been (only 4lbs off from my highest weight ever). my clothes didn't fit. I never wanted to wear jeans because they were literally painful to wear. and I knew if I didn't do something soon I would not be feeling good when summer rolls around. i've tried it all...shakes, Rx diet pills, regular diet pills, starving myself, etc. but those were always just a quick fix and a few months after I stopped the weight would be back and then some.

so I started watching what I ate. I would write down everything I ate and then once I got in the habit of that I would start pre-planning my meals for the next day. At night, I write down my meals for the next day so I'm prepared and not coming home wondering what I'm going to be eating or going to the drive-thru.

then I decided I probably needed to move more. eating well when I tried to lose weight before was all I ever had to do. I wasn't someone who went to the gym. apparently, when you're 30+ that is not the case. I had seen people posting their steps on social media and thought "hey! I can do that too!" but i didn't realize that 10K steps in a day is a LOT. so I bought a step tracker and started little by little and each day I would go up 500 more steps. I started walking around in my living room, then walking around my apartment complex. then I expanded to walking around the neighborhood, local parks, etc.

please note this is coming from someone who would get home from work at 5:30 and immediately put on pj's. now when I get home from work I put on workout clothes so I'm ready to go on a walk after dinner. I hadn't even bought a pair of tennis shoes in over 10 years and now I have a new pair that I wear more than any other shoes I own. I don't know who I am anymore.

I was also someone who would eat fast food at least 3 times a week. now I don't even eat it 3 times in a month. I don't know who I am anymore.

I was someone who would stay in bed until the very last minute I had to get up to get ready for work and now I'm out of bed by 6:45 and out walking. again...I don't know who I am anymore.

little by little my lifestyle has changed. and little by little the weight is coming off and I feel confident that when summer is in full effect I'll feel good about myself.

I still have cellulite. I still binge eat. I still have a muffin top in certain clothes. I don't run or do any heavy activity...just walk. but the habits I've been able to form I know will last me much longer than a "quick fix." and I get to eat whatever I want, whenever I want it's just in moderation. and if I have an off day I know that tomorrow is a new one and I can start fresh. it's taken over 4 months just to lose 15lbs and I still have another 15lbs to go, but I try not to get discouraged by those "off moments" and just focus on the habits i've created for myself.

if anyone is still reading this...i'm not trying to preach or brag or annoy anyone. trust me...i'm annoyed by people that try to push their sh*t on me or fill up my social media feeds with BS. i'm just here to let people know what works for me and maybe it can work for me. that's all.

story time: the mic drop

2016-02-18T11:38:00.000-05:00

I don't have any photos for this story time. But I wanted to record it because it was a fun night and I want to be able to look back (if internet still exists in the future) when I'm 67 and say "I was a cool 32 year old lady." I use the term "lady" very loosely.

Recently, I went out with one of my girlfriends and her hubby for some drinks and we met up with a group of old co-workers that all worked at the same advertising agency here in town.

We get to this bar that I never knew existed on the outskirts of downtown. They didn't serve liquor...only beer in cans and wine in clear plastic cups...so obviously an extremely upscale joint. But they had karaoke.

My friend Ally and I went through our repertoire and decided on the 90's rap realness that is Gangsta's Paradise by Coolio. I mean I can't even be in a church and hear "as I walk through the valley of the shadow of death" without wanting to scream out "I take a look at my life and realize there's nothing left!!!" Seriously...every time.

I sipped heavily and quickly on some cups of the finest Barefoot Pinot Grigio and was ready to hit the stage.

We rapped our little hearts out and knew every word. And right after I legitimately dropped the mic. Always wanted to do that. (Actually I bent down a little bit and gently dropped the mic on the floor and walked away...I was afraid I would break the mic and be charged if I went full force with it).

I thought that would be the killer exit, but we only got some soft applause and maybe a "Wooo!" from one of our friends. Needless to say, the crowd was not our demo...and probably didn't even know that a person named Coolio even existed in the world.

But still it's been one of my proudest moments in my 32 years. Because I live a sad life and dropping a mic has been #12 on my bucket list.

WILW: TV

2016-02-17T09:25:00.002-05:00

what I'm loving Wednesday...

I'm a TV junkie. I've debated giving up my cable, but it would be a hard "luxury" to remove from my daily routine. No matter how much it costs me every month.

in this post, I said how much I love American Crime. and I still do...but here are a couple of other shows that are worth the mention and highly recommended by moi!

1. Younger

I started watching this show last season when it started and LOVE it! It's currently in it's 2nd season (and already renewed for a 3rd) and comes on Wednesday nights on TV Land. It's about a 40 year old single, divorced mom who gets a job in publishing posing as a 27 year old. Her boyfriend is SUPER hot...so the eye candy is great. It's funny and relatable. And it makes me jealous that a 40 year old looks younger than me.

2. American Crime Story: The People vs OJ Simpson

I remember this trial. Not as vividly as some do because I was 11 and more focused on swimming at the pool with my friends during the summer but I definitely remember watching the Bronco chase at home (because it was the only thing on TV at the time) and then watching the trial every day during the summer (because it was the only thing on TV at the time).

Even though we all know the outcome of this story it's so good. It goes so in depth on details we don't know about everyone involved in the trial. And I mean EVERY. ONE. I highly recommend.

I think I'm mostly excited to find out what the next American Crime Story they chose to do.

five on friday.

2016-01-29T09:29:00.000-05:00

just wanted to join in and share some of my current favorites at the moment.

1. TV

If you love Law & Order: SVU, Dateline, basically any crime show in general then you will LOVE American Crime on ABC. We just had episode 3 on Wednesday and it's ramping up hard. I highly recommend. Catch the earlier episodes on demand and get into it.

2. The Bitch Bible

At work we have very limited access to streaming music (ie Spotify, Pandora, etc) so I started getting into podcasts to get me through my work day...and this is one of my favorites. If you're a fan of anything on Bravo, the Bachelor, etc then you'll love this...

3. Bitch Sesh

this is another podcast that I look forward to every week. they break down the Real Housewives series and recap the weeks episodes. it's hilarious.

if you catch me laughing til I cry at my desk it's because of these 2 podcasts. both available on iTunes.

4. Evelyn Henson

I have just discovered this artist and I am in love. she has so many cute prints and I love her map series. currently coveting this Greenville, SC print...and it's so reasonably priced. check her out here.

5. Music

I leave you with some good music for those that enjoy a good rap tune. Fetty Wap is currently one of my favorite rappers.

I don't own this sweatshirt for nothing, y'all!

favorite beauty products: part 2 (tried and true)

2016-01-26T08:00:00.000-05:00

after last week's skincare/beauty post, I wanted to do a follow-up on my favorite beauty products I absolutely can't live without. my "tried and true."

(left to right)

1. Maybelline Falsies mascara

I've tried so many different mascara's over the past 5-6 years and I ALWAYS come back to this mascara. It makes my lashes the longest, doesn't clump, and comes off easily with a make-up wipe.

2. NYX Matte Lipstick

this is the best lipstick. it stays on FOR-EVER...I don't experiment a lot with lip stick, but compared to the more expensive brands in my drawer this beats them with staying power 100%. and NYX is such a widely available brand it's so easy to pick up anywhere and the majority of their products are under $10.

3. NYX Butter Gloss

after I apply the NYX matte lipstick, I dab a bit of this gloss on and i'm done with my make-up routine. it's the perfect finish. I realize that matte lips are all the rage now, but I think i'll always wear gloss.

honorable mention: Bare Minerals Buttercream gloss

a friend gave me the Bare Minerals gloss for Christmas and I've been using it daily ever since. I love it just like my NYX. highly recommend.

23 fun facts.

2016-01-22T07:00:00.000-05:00

last thing you splurged on? Trip to Las Vegas for New Year's Eve.

favorite Beyonce song? "Love on Top"

favorite smell? burning leaves / firewood.

must have accessory? a really, good handbag.

spirit animal? unicorn.

what city were you born in? baton rouge, louisiana

favorite city? charleston, sc

place you want to visit? greece.

greatest invention? the internet.

first car? red '97 pontiac sunfire.

first kiss? when I was 15...he now has 3 kids with another on the way.

3 traits you look for in a person? sense of humor, loyal, kindness

last person you called? uber

last person that text you? sandi

song that makes you cry? "Only One" by Kanye West

favorite season? toss up between fall and spring.

staycation or african safari? african safari.

first crush? jordan knight from new kids on the block.

worst pick-up line you've ever heard? "Is that your natural hair color? I've heard redheads are going extinct."

favorite piece of jewelry? TB gold studs...wear them 98% of the time.

how long does it take you to get ready in the morning? 30 minutes. (that's only if I wash/dry my hair the night before)

i'm really bad at ______ ? budgeting.

i'm really good at ______? remembering random useless facts, fun memories, etc.

wordless wednesday

2016-01-20T10:20:00.001-05:00

remember when wordless wednesday was a thing? let's bring it back.

favorite skincare/beauty products.

2016-01-19T10:54:00.000-05:00

testing...testing...is this thing on?

I don't know if anyone still reads this ol' blog, but just in case I wanted to share some of my current favorite skincare and beauty products with you.

(from top left to right)

1. NYX HD Eye Shadow Base.

I never really gave much thought to an eye shadow primer / base until about 8 months ago and it's been life changing. It helps bring out the pigment of your eye shadow so much. I can totally tell a difference if I don't use it, because I can't see my eye shadow at all if I don't use it prior to applying my eye shadow. It's also great to prevent eye liner creasing. I had a big issue with that always happening because of my oily lids, but with this I can say it rarely (if ever) happens.

Honorable Mention: Urban Decay Eye Shadow Primer...it works well too, but the price point isn't that ideal for budget ballers like myself. And I feel like it doesn't dry as quickly as NYX.

2. Burt's Bees Herbal Blemish Stick

I'm not going to say this works instantly, but it definitely stops stubborn zits in their tracks. I can totally tell a difference when I dab this on at night and in the morning it's smaller in size and less red. It doesn't smell great, but it's not an overwhelming odor at all. And it's better than dabbing a thick cream and worrying about it getting on your pillows/clothes/etc.

3. Rimmel London Lasting Finish Primer

This primer is water based which I like b/c it goes well with my water based BB cream. I do like that silicone based primers fill in fine lines and wrinkles (ie Maybelline and Smashbox), but I love that this goes on smooth and makes my make-up stay in place and perfect ALL DAY LONG. legit.

4. Nip + Fab No Needle Fix Serum

2016 is the year I've become obsessed with wrinkles (and eyebrows...will have to do separate post about those things). I legit find myself staring at peoples faces in person or on TV and seeing if they have the same wrinkles I do, etc. So I've been on the hunt for great anti-aging products. I really like this serum so far. It smells great and goes on so smooth and I can definitely tell that it brightens my skin and fills in lines and wrinkles. I use it before I go to bed and in the morning after I wash my face and before my moisturizer. I wouldn't say it's preventing wrinkles or taking them away, but it's good to fill them in before I start my makeup routine.

I'm EXTEMELY open for suggestions on what you use for preventing wrinkles or getting rid of them all together. Next on my list to try is ROC products to see if those work.

thankful.

2015-11-24T09:04:00.003-05:00

we should be thankful all year round, but sometimes we don't get that kick in the butt to remind us until thanksgiving is here. I feel like every year we forget a little bit more that thanksgiving is even a real holiday.

I admit that I've already started my christmas shopping and pulled out my decorations from storage. but i'm still excited for thanksgiving. there is so much to be thankful for this year.

1. health

2. home

3. family

4. friends

5. food

6. job

7. new babies

this may not have been the best year for me (or for others), but looking back some amazing things have happened. yes, there has been tragedy and heart break...but it's nice to reflect on the stuff we have...while it's still here to celebrate.

my year has been nothing like some of the other blogs I read or like my friends, but it hasn't been the easiest either. and currently it's still a struggle. but I just hope that we ALL remember to count our blessings, be kind, give, and have a sense of humor through it all. :)

mexican wedding: day tres

2015-11-10T07:00:00.000-05:00

day 3 of our mexico trip was the wedding day!

we woke up bright and early on saturday...again (that's what going to bed at 8pm will do to you) and set out for a quick breakfast and then straight to the beach.

there was an abandoned hotel right on the other side of our resort so we ventured over to check it out. which then resulted in us walking all the way down the beach to "explore."

we saw a local man "rescuing" baby sea turtles from a nest.

further down the beach we saw an open beach mansion with no one home (I almost took a dip in their pool), 2 other resorts, and at the end another abandoned resort with a man sitting quietly in the shade.

luckily, we spotted him and quickly exited. otherwise, you might hear about my story on a future dateline episode with keith morrison.

then after lunch, another pool hangout, and some heavy rain...it was time to get ready for the wedding.

the ceremony was beautiful. right on the beach.

all of the other resort patrons were lined up in beach chairs like spectators. it felt awkward and weird. but during the ceremony you could see couples (mostly from different countries) hugging and taking in the whole "love fest." it was nice to see them all enjoying it. especially for people they didn't even know. and they all gave a big round of applause when the ceremony was over.

you can see them behind us in the picture. more turned up after this was taken.

the reception was just as heartwarming.

while everyone ate dinner and drank, they ran a slideshow of old photos and videos from friends that couldn't make it to mexico.

then came the speeches. so many speeches from friends and family. but they were all so touching and I might have shed a tear (or 100). it was overwhelming to hear all of the love and support for tripp and adam. I wasn't expecting that and I was so touched by it all.

then it was time to PAR-TAY. the resort "discotheque" didn't open until 11pm so we had some time to kill at the resort bar.

then we headed to the "disco" and I literally danced my ass off until 3AM. I have never sweat so much or danced so hard in my life. luckily, there are no photos because I was legit a HOT MESS!

then, we woke up at 6:30AM to catch our 7:50AM bus to the airport and spend the rest of my day in airports.

p.s. if you ever stay at the Catalonia Royal Tulum in Riviera Maya, you'll get used to seeing these f*ckers every where. they freaked me out every time. I was one of the select few that was disgusted by them. there were just so many and they were little ass stalkers.

mexican wedding: day uno y dos

2015-11-02T16:06:00.003-05:00

in late october, after MONTHS of anticipation, I was off to a destination wedding in mexico.

here's some of us sleepy heads at the GSP airport around 4AM thursday morning.

we arrived at the Cancun airport around 10AM local time and still had about a 90 minute drive to our resort.

our group of 4, met up with 7 others that were in mexico for the same wedding and we piled into a bus that was waiting to take us to our destination.

the driver offered to stop at the next gas station so we could get some beer and start the party early on our way to the resort. everyone got about a 6 pack of whatever beer we could find. and we cranked up the jimmy buffet pandora and were on our way.

once we arrived at the resort, we couldn't check into our rooms yet, but we met with the happy couple and they gave us all fun "welcome bags" with all sorts of goodies.

since we couldn't check into our rooms yet, we just enjoyed a lunch outside at one of the resort restaurants. after lunch, we pulled our bathing suits out of our suitcases and several of us wedding guests mingled around this "kiddie pool" area.

some of us (ie...me) got extremely intoxicated and ended up asleep by 5pm that day. but in my defense, I had been up since 3AM.

we were invited to attend a "bachelor party" of sorts for the grooms that night, but declined based on our lack of sleep.

since we went to sleep at 5PM, we were up at 7AM on Friday ready to start our first full day in mexico. we had breakfast and caught up with some of our friends who had flown in for the wedding.

then we took it to the beach...

and spent most of our day there...it rained around lunch time, so we broke up our beach day for food.

after lunch...more beach, drinks, beach, drinks...

then later that afternoon we joined all of the other wedding guests (there were around 65 total in attendance for this wedding ) at the pool

celebrating with one of the grooms

friday night ended early for us as well...many drinks by the beach and the pool...meant another early night full of sleep.

next up: wedding day

sc flood (and how to help)

2015-10-08T12:49:00.003-04:00

The state seal says "Dum Spiro Spero" which means "While I breath, I hope." so fitting for South Carolinians.

The devastation of the historic flood has been felt throughout the state (and beyond). The Midlands, particularly Columbia, have been hit the hardest.

It was heart breaking to watch my 2nd home, a place where I lived for 6 years and visit often be completely submerged under water. Or see people I knew in college posts photos of their own homes damaged by the flood.

While the tragedy can be felt throughout the state, the support can be felt even more. As I scroll through social media there are different stories about where to donate, families that need help, trucks and cars full of items, posts of hope or good deeds being made.

Greenville, SC t-shirt company, Loggerhead Apparel, has produced a shirt where all proceeds will go to help flood victims. you can purchase here.

Also, proceeds of the shirt below will go towards flood relief. you can purchase here.

sugar boutique is donating 100% of sales from their Lauren James SC garnet and SC orange baseball caps and any Lauren James "SC Lovely State" tees to the American Red Cross.

click here to shop the tees and here to shop hats.

you can also check Salvation Army, Amercian Red Cross, and United Way's websites if you would like to give a monetary donation.

you can see and feel the prayers at work.

today is a big day!

2015-09-28T12:58:00.000-04:00

9.28.15 marks the day when my best friend, Sandi moves her "sweet" boutique, Sugar into a newly renovated, bigger, "hot" spot.

Can I just brag on her for a second? Or more like 120+ seconds because this post might take a while to read.

I remember the day that Sandi called me and said she had put in her 2 weeks notice at her current job to start her own business. She had gotten engaged a few months before so she was in the middle of planning a wedding. She opened her store in April of 2008. Her dad suddenly passed away in July, a month before her wedding. She got married and her store still thrived. She thrived...she persevered through it all and the smile on her face stayed the same.

She has always worked in retail/sales. Ever since she was able to get a job, she's been working. Legit. I have never known this girl to NOT have a job. And it's always been a job where she has to have a smile on her face and kind word on the tip of her tongue. Retail and sales are not easy fields to work in and I commend all those that do. You're special people.

And just like in 2007-2008 when she decided to start Sugar...2014-2015 was an even bigger time. Her family of 3 was working on building a new house and the opportunity for a bigger retail space for Sugar came up and because Sandi likes to YOLO the hell out of something...she answered that door when opportunity came-a-knockin'. THEN she found out she was pregnant with baby #2. So she was moving into a new home, planning a career move, AND planning for a baby.

And today...she moves into that new space.

I couldn't be more proud or excited for you, Sandi.

In the last 8 years, your world has been turned upside down more times than I can count, and you're still here. Not just "staying afloat" but you're on a f*ckin' yacht just enjoying the ride. You're always busy planning something. And you may not know what you're gonna be doing tomorrow, but you know that every detail will be taken care of. I don't see how you do it. You say "yes" and just worry about everything else later. That's one of the many things I admire about you.

You are the true definition of an entrepreneur and i'm so proud of you. You're the busiest person I know, but you always take time to thank God for your blessings, spend time with family, take vacations, and answer my daily text messages (err..rants). Thank you for letting me be a part of your journey. Can't wait to see what the next 8 years old.

Now, y'all go visit her store in person or check out their website! You won't regret it.

20 questions.

2015-08-25T09:11:00.002-04:00

I always love doing these types of posts...I'm sure everyone already knows all my answers (if anyone even still reads this thing) but here goes anyway...

1. Favorite food:

chicken. pasta. chicken with pasta. bacon. sausage. #1, #3, #5 at Chick Fil-A. mexican food. country fried steak. basically I enjoy meat & carbs and no veggies.

2. Flip flops or high heels:

high heels.

I do wear flat sandals and flip flops occasionally, but high heels make me feel pretty and make me feel like I don't have short, tree trunk legs.

3. Favorite places to shop for yourself:

nordstrom. old navy. target. ulta. sugar.

4. Standard Coffee order:

I don't drink coffee. so my standard coffee order would be "no, thanks."

5. Road trip must have snack:

I'm a sucker for junk food...my ultimate road trip snacks are kettle cooked salt & vinegar chips, Cheez-Its (or Gold N Cheese if you live in the south), Slim Jim, and Gardetto's.

6. DIY or hire it out?

when you're a single lady on a budget you typically DIY it...or buy it cheap.

7. Top 5 TV shows:

currently: Bachelor in Paradise, I Am Cait, Real Housewives of Any City, Teen Mom 2, Big Brother

of all time: The Office, Breaking Bad, Game of Thrones, Bloodline, The Real World (Seasons 1-25 only)

8. Favorite Book:

honestly? I don't read.

9. Favorite Form of Exercising:

does dancing in your bedroom alone count?

10. How tall are you?

5'4"ish

11. Do you try something new at restaurants or stick to your favorites?

if I know what I like, i'll stick to my favorites...but I do like to branch out from time to time.

12. One make up item you can't live without:

mascara.

13. What's on your nightstand?

14. What's one thing motherhood has taught you?

and this is the point in the survey where you realize you didn't read these questions before deciding to play along.

15. Music that reminds you of high school:

Juvenile - Back That Azz Up.

N'Sync - all songs.

S Club 7 - Never Had A Dream Come True (Prom theme 2001).

Britney Spears - the early stuff.

Master P - Make 'Em Say UHHHH.

16. If you could live anywhere in the world besides your current city where would you live?

in state: Charleston, SC

out of state: Charlotte, NC

out of region: Boston, MA

17. Tell us something about you we might not know:

I still sleep with my baby blanket. it's pink and ratty but it's always in the bed with me.

18. Websites you read/browse (besides blogs):

buzzfeed. pinterest. and I'm always online shopping but never buying.

19. Morning person or Night owl?

night owl.

20. Favorite Breakfast meal:

sausage. bacon. hashbrowns with ketchup. waffles or pancakes with LOTS of butter.

#HeyHadleyDay

2015-08-07T10:21:00.002-04:00

last saturday, I hosted a baby shower with some girlfriends for my sweet friend Kelly. she is due to have a baby girl, Hadley Day at the end of this month.

it was so good to get the crew aka "sharkriders" (inside joke) back together. we live all over the state and it's hard for us to all get together very often, but when we can we definitely like to soak it all in.

we decided to just serve desserts, so that would make it simple and it went perfect with the special baby girl poem "sugar, spice and everything nice"

our menu:

decorated cookies

cupcakes

strawberries and grapes with fruit dip

vanilla wafers and animal crackers with funfetti dip

pink lemonade

and as a favor, I found this champagne idea on another blog and HAD to steal it for our baby girl shower too.

can't wait to pop my bottle in celebration of Hadley's arrival! hopefully it's any day now.

phobia.

2015-07-13T06:30:00.000-04:00

a friend and I were just texting each other about irrational fears we have.

my fear is that whenever I turn the lights off in one room to walk to another, like down a dark hallway to my bedroom, that someone is lurking in the shadows ready to stab or shoot me in the back.

i'm 32 and still have this fear. it's so bad that sometimes I walk backwards into my lit bedroom to make sure no one is behind me.

or the fear that someone is in my shower. i'll pull the curtain back to check...but what if someone really WAS back there? i'm instantly killed.

or the fear that something is under my bed. has anyone ever seen Ernest Scared Stupid? (Ernest Goes to Camp is the best "Ernest" movie by the way). this scene forever traumatized me and if I ever need to reach under my bed, i'm convinced there will be a troll and/or murderer waiting when I come back up.

also...I NEVER let my feet hang out off the bed or out of the covers. that would be silly...because what if the monster that is chillin' under my bed decides to tickle my feet...or pull me under. i'm just afraid I would feel SOMETHING and then lose my mind.

do you have any irrational fears?

a new little baby love.

2015-07-07T10:16:00.002-04:00

sandi's sweet baby charlie was born on thursday july 2nd, 2015 at 2:38 pm.

I remember the night she told me she was pregnant. we were having dinner before our movie date to see Gone Girl...towards the end of the dinner she looks at me, reaches in her purse, and throws out this picture at me "um...look at this!" it was an ultrasound picture. it was a complete shock.

she told me her due date was july 8th and at that moment, she knew her dad had a hand in this and so did I. his birthday was july 3rd. he passed away on july 6th, 2008. so we both knew that her dad had a part in creating this baby. along with her late grandfather, who had the same july 3rd birthday.

then when she found out she was having a boy and was throwing names around, charlie was one of the names...after her dad and grandfather. no other name would do.

a few days before she was scheduled to be induced I told her I thought charlie would come out with a head full of dark, curly hair. just like his mama and "pop pop" charlie. well, he did. he has the softest black baby hair that I hope never goes away.

and the sweetest cheeks just like his mama...that she inherited from her dad.

he's perfect.

God knew exactly what he was doing when He surprised them with this baby.

big brother cade loves him more than anything. and it's so sweet to see him interact with his new baby brother.

i'm excited to spoil this new baby love for the rest of my days.

and I hope sandi never stops sending me pictures like this...because I will never get tired of seeing them.

treat yo self.

2015-07-01T05:00:00.000-04:00

for well over a year, I've been eyeing these Tory Burch sandals. but no matter how hard I try, I can't justify spending almost $200 on a pair of shoes.

last week, I turned 32...and with the birthday money I was gifted, I could buy a pair of those sandals that I've lusted over forever. but I would rather stretch my money and buy lots of things. because in the scheme of gifts...more is more.

happy birthday to me! here's what's on my list...

my old iPad mini case is shot to hell and when I saw this Dabney Lee case at target for $20 I knew I had to have it.

this Fallon Timberlake 2016 campaign tee was the first thing I checked off my birthday wish list. I will wear it with such pride. they haven't officially announced their nomination, but I have high hopes they get the majority vote.

for the past 2 years, I've bought canvas espadrilles from target. only to have them not fit properly and be awful to walk in. but I loved them so much, I tried my hardest to get insoles, stuff tissue paper, look up YouTube videos on how to get them to fit. I've searched for similar shoes on amazon, 6pm, and zappos and never had any luck. I happened to peruse nordstrom rack this morning saw these Michael Antonio wedges and thank you baby jesus they had them in my size. I will wear them with EVERYTHING the rest of summer...and spring/summers to come.

the heat these past few weeks has been ridic and I typically don't like to sleep in shorts...i'd rather sleep in sweats, but that ain't happening when it's 95 degrees at 10pm. so I got these light weight sleep shorts from target.

i've had this pineapple print in my etsy favorites for months...time to buy, frame, and put on display in my bedroom. it will match perfectly with my aqua throw pillows and gold accents.

do I need a reason to buy this shirt?

like my iPad mini case, my iPhone case (that I got for $5 from target) is cracked. so that's a great excuse to get this cute unicorn phone case from look human.

and a girl can never have enough jewelry. love this necklace from J Crew Factory (especially since it's 40% off).

and if truth be told...i'm saving the rest of my birthday loot to buy some anti-aging cream. not joking. gotta get started on these wrinkles some time. so if you have recommendations on creams, serums, and/or eye de-puffers then let me know!

charleston strong

2015-06-22T11:38:00.006-04:00

we all know by now what happened in charleston, sc last wednesday night.

I can't believe a massacre of this magnitude happened in my state.

I can't believe it happened in a city that I personally believe is the best city in the entire world.

I can't believe it happened in a city where friends that I love reside and where they grew up.

I can't believe it happened in a city that I just visited 3 days before.

the victims that lost their lives that night were talking to God, talking about God. they welcomed this boy into their bible study with no judgement. opening their hearts to a stranger. I could never imagine what came over them once, after an hour of study, he stands up to open fire on all of them. all because of their race.

all of my thursday morning was consumed in finding out who this killer was, then focusing on his whereabouts and would we be able to catch him?

but the thing that overwhelmed me was the sense of community that I could feel from charleston. from seeing it on the news and social media. how people weren't rioting with fists in the air. people weren't marching angrily through the streets. there wasn't a racial divide. instead, people were praying together. they were holding hands, singing, embracing, and crying together.

I don't know what kind of reaction I expected, but what happened (and what continues) to happen has blown my mind and makes me extremely proud to call South Carolina my home. yesterday as I spent father's day with my dad, this shooting was the main topic of conversation. we were both so impressed at how people have reacted with maturity, respect, and love...especially given the circumstances of the crime.

the forgiveness that the survivors and members of the victims family gave this person is nothing short of amazing. they looked at this killer and with no animosity in their voices, they were able to say the words "I forgive you." they are better people than me...I'll tell you that.

I hope other communities can learn from this tragedy and realize that hate and violence isn't resolved with more hate and more violence. the biggest defense is love. and love is winning.

this tragedy is not indicative of the great city of charleston, the beautiful state of south carolina, or the historic south as a whole. it's about this person. this person is not us.

I heart planning: sandi's spa day

2015-06-02T06:00:00.000-04:00

Recently, I planned a spa day for my BFF Sandi to celebrate the upcoming arrival of her 2nd baby boy, Charlie.

Last year, I was constantly planning or attending surprise birthday parties, bridal showers, baby showers, bachelorette parties, etc, and while at the time, I complained about having so much to organize/plan I really enjoyed doing it. This year the party planning is slim and I was aching to plan something.

When Sandi was pregnant with her first baby, she had a prenatal massage that she said she loved. So I thought it would be fun to have a girls day at the spa to get massages, mani/pedi's, etc and relax before Charlie arrived.

Once we nailed down a date, I emailed all the ladies with the details and everyone decided on spa treatments. Since most of the details were laid out in the initial email, I decided not to mail invitations. But I still wanted to create something that was personalized for the occasion. I used Paperless Post to create a simple "announcement" to use in a follow-up email once all the appointments and reservations were finalized.

Sandi is 110% girly girl and one of her favorite "colors" is glitter/gold. I chose a gold painted polka dot Kate Spade design and dark blue font to compliment the new baby boy.

Even though it wasn't a "shower", I still wanted to make the day special for all the girls that came...including the guest of honor. Gift giving is my favorite thing. So my favorite part of the whole planning process was putting together little favor bags for everyone. I was lucky to find some gold and dark blue tissue paper to match the online invite. Looking back...i'm kind of sad I didn't make myself one.

To go along with the "spa" theme, I included bath/body related items in each of the bags.

Nail File

Nail Polish

Loofah

Burt's Bees Lip Balm

Que Bella Peel-Off Mask

Travel Size Jergens Lotion

Kleenex On-The-Go Tissues

side note: i'm obsessed with the Que Bella Peel Off Masks. I don't think they help my skin, but I have a weird obsession with the whole peeling process. There are several different masks in the line. Perfect for bachelorette favors, birthday packages, etc.

It would have been good to add mini champagne bottles with cute straws for the ladies to enjoy at the spa. But since our spa offered wine and champagne, I didn't include those in our little bags. We had two pregnant ladies in our group, so I did bring some La Croix sparkling water that I thought they might enjoy an adult beverage substitute. However, NOTE TO SELF La Croix is actually disgusting and I'm glad that the girls declined the offer. Next time, I'll just ask everyone what drinks they prefer.

The first thing I knew I wanted to do when I started planning this day was I wanted to add cookies as part of the favors. A fun treat we could enjoy after brunch or while we mingled at the spa. There were several different ones from gold polka dot onesies to bow ties to ones like these with his monogram. All still matching the gold/dark blue color scheme.

After brunch, we were able to walk around downtown and do some window shopping/browsing. Then we headed a few blocks down to the spa to end our day.

Everyone at the spa was friendly and accommodating. They were a huge help for me with coordinating everything. And answered all of my questions and made any changes I had up until the day.

and can we please talk about how amazing my two pregnant BFF's look? If I'm ever pregnant, I hope that I look as great as these two.

their first official "meeting"
Hadley Day Woodward (left) due August 28th

Jack Charles "Charlie" McClain (right) due July 8th

It was a fun and perfect day and I would totally plan a day like this all over again.

duggar.

2015-05-28T06:00:00.000-04:00

i'm not writing this post to bash the duggars on their beliefs or to call them hypocrites or burn them at the stake.

my biggest issue is that what josh duggar did to 5 young girls (including 4 of his sisters) was not taken seriously. and that people are using the defense with "but he said he was sorry", "he apologized to his victims and his family", "his parents took care of the situation", and the worst of all "teenage mistakes."

I read the police report twice. jim bob and michelle knew that their son had been molesting his sisters an entire year before they took any action. I don't know what they knew, who told them, or if they were aware of the actual severity but nothing was done. in jim bob's words they "reprimanded" josh. a year later it's still happening and only then do they decide to do something. jim bob meets with people in his church to seek advice. I realize people cope in different ways. but in addition to seeking support from their friend, they should have gone to the authorities to seek advice. sexual abuse isn't something you can "pray away." this is something that needs to be handled sensitively as well as immediately. it's also something that you can handle with an apology, prayer or a send off to "rehab" aka help some random guy they knew on his farm for a few months.

the most eery of all is that once josh returned from "rehab", his parents take him to a state trooper they knew personally. jim bob told the police in 2006 that mr. state trooper gave josh a "stern talking to" and sent him on his way. his way back into his home with his victims and the rest of his family. currently, mr. state trooper is serving 50+ years for child pornography.

my heart aches for the family and the victims. the family because they are so sheltered they don't realize that what their brother/son/husband did is wrong. they are sheltered and don't know about sex, etc. they weren't taught sex education like most kids their age because their mother taught them school and because of their religious beliefs sex was left off the curriculum. the victims need comfort and support. josh needs appropriate counseling and punishment. jim bob and michelle need guidance.

there is still so much that I want to say about this issue. so much I don't know how to put into words. but read this post and it will say all I want/need to say.

i'm a person.

2015-04-27T15:12:00.000-04:00

I've been wanting to write this post for a while...and I've thought about it often. when they announced the bruce jenner interview, I was definitely still in denial that something was going on with him...that he was going to announce that he was transgender. not that I was against him being that way, but I think I was just so fascinated by it. I had my DVR set for 2 weeks and on Friday was telling everyone about it. Then I watched it so carefully and hung on every word. and then I watched it 3 more times this past weekend.

as he told his story, I just could never imagine having to be someone i'm not for 65 years. wanting so desperately to just put on nail polish and wear it long enough for it to chip off. or to just wear a dress outside and not care what people said to me. and I could definitely never imagine being watched by america and followed by the paparazzi 24/7 while I was going through all this either.

I could never understand what it's like to live that life, but I could also never understand what it's like to never be myself. Or if I couldn't tell my family or friends who I really am...or if I couldn't tell them about who I loved.

I just want people to be open minded AND have an open heart for all humans. I would never want anyone to stifle me from living my life. We are ALL are people and should be treated as such. Do what makes YOU happy.

I know gay people that are well into their 30's and have to hide it from their parents, friends, and co-workers. So I could never imagine being afraid to tell people about my life...who I loved, who I wanted to be with, what I wanted to wear, etc. Also, this is not a choice. Granted, I'm straight and have never felt adversity like this...but why would anyone CHOOSE to live this life? An unconventional life that would only have people judge you and torment you for the person you are. I could go on forever about my convictions, but i'll stop there.

The discussion on the special was so enlightening and educational. I've seen a few documentaries on the trans community, so I was aware of some of the issues (and I absolutely believe this is a real issue). If you can have an open mind...I highly recommend watching. To hear Bruce tell his story was amazing, heart breaking, and so brave for him to open up about a secret he's been holding on to for 65+ years that very few knew.

I love James Corden and I love what he had to say about it...

birth day.

2015-04-06T10:24:00.001-04:00

several of my friends have babies. this friend is having her 2nd baby boy today. the day before her own birthday.

for some reason it seems so surreal that she's having another baby.

thinking of her today and can't wait to meet the new little guy.

my favorite instagrams.

2015-04-02T10:15:00.001-04:00

instagram is my favorite app. i check it constantly. it gives me "instant" satisfaction when those hearts go flying.

here's a little taste of my favorite instagram accounts I follow.

1. favorite laughs...tie between @fuckjerry & @thefatjewish

I actually follow a TON of funny accounts, but these two are equally my favorites.

honorable mentions: @betches, @girlwithnojob, @beigecardigan, @kanyedoingthings, @moistbuddha

2. favorite celebrity...@chrissyteigen

she's super cool, down to earth, funny as shit, smokin' hot, every girls dream bff, and a super model.

honorable mentions: @ryanphillipe, @reesewitherspoon, @justintimberlake, @jessseinfeld

3. favorite style...@thenortheastgirl

maureen seems super down to earth. her outfits are affordable and effortless. she's a real woman with great style.

honorable mentions: @mckennableu, @the_laurenelizabeth

4. favorite guilty pleasure...@kuwtkgirls

this account isn't for everyone. it's probably not really for anyone. but my guilty pleasure is the kardashian/jenner family. this account constantly updates with paparazzi pics of the fam.

honorable mentions: @kimkardashian, @kendalljenner

5. favorite celebrity news...@enews

honorable mention: @justjared

6. favorite city...@visitgreenvillesc

I don't know about you, but I live in a pretty dope ass city.

honorable mention: @explorecharleston

and if you're not already following me on instagram...you're missing out. just kidding...BUT...follow me too @sweetbef

still sucking at dating.

2015-03-26T11:30:00.000-04:00

i've done MANY posts about being single and dating.

you the most recent ones here // here // here // and here.

i'm here to report...it's not getting any better. (at least not for me).

so please excuse me while I vent out all my frustrations in this post. but this is where I can be my most vulnerable. I don't have to bother my friends with my dating woes. I can just put it here, on this blog, and let it all out.

i've been on a numerous amount of dates over the past year or so. i've exchanged many text messages with guys over the past year. i'm 31 years old...i've been dating for almost half of my life. you would think I would have this all figured out by now. well, I don't.

it's always hard seeing someone you used to date out with his new girlfriend. especially if it's only been a few months since you stopped dating each other. but the worst is when you see that person just got engaged. I can't even hate...because she's a normal looking girl and I could probably be friends with her.

this isn't the first time this has happened to me. but this is the worst i've felt upon seeing it.

let me tell you...dating sucks. it's complicated. there are so many "rules" and you're constantly second guessing yourself.

"should you kiss on the first date?"

"is it okay to have sex on the first date? or will he think you're a slut?"

"should you text him first?"

"when should you call him after a date?"

"when do you have the DTR talk?"

"does he still like me?"

i realize that when it happens "you'll know" and i know how to recognize all the signs if a guy is truly into you. because I've been there...when he's into me and when he's not.

but my biggest question is..."why not me?" what am I doing wrong that I'm not worthy to be a fiance' or a wife or a girlfriend? why am I not the first person you text in the morning and the last person you talk to at night? i've been there before and then the minute it's over, he's with someone new and the relationship is loud and clear on social media.

it's hard being 30+ and single. it's hard trying to pay your bills, make sure your shit is together, go to work, save money, stay healthy, hang out with friends, AND date. it's hard going through life where you're constantly surrounded by married friends and happy babies. (trust me...i adore ALL my married friends and ALL of their babies). especially when you're getting asked "so are you dating anyone?" or my personal favorite "why are you still single?" bitch, i'm trying.

i'm tired of hearing..."it'll happen when you least expect it"...great...but that's not going to work for me b/c I'm constantly thinking about it. how I'm going to be 40 and unmarried with ovaries with 2 piles of dust for ovaries. i've tried match, tinder, getting set up by friends, meeting guys at bars, etc. i'm always open minded. i just want someone to adore me...love me...respect me...accept my weirdness...my love for rap music and my hatred for country music.

if you are someone you know, knows what the hell i'm doing wrong with my life...please let me know. because i'm clueless at this point.

but let me be upset for a few days. drink barrels of alcohol. and sleep this off. and then next week maybe I can abide by the mantra below.