Sweetest days of my life

Rindu

noreply@blogger.com (opsiedaisy) — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 02:13:00 +0000

TA is 5 months old now. She is such a dear and she'll smile from ear to ear just by looking at her.

She makes my heart melt and I miss her all the time. Even when I'm in the kitchen....

Yesterday was a rare outing between me and NM, my now 3 years and 3 months old 1st born. We went to the in laws house after a wedding reception in the afternoon. My SIL in law suggested we should watch the new in Malay movie, Ombak Rindu. I've always wanted to see it given the very good review and a little bit of crying helps since I haven't done that for some time. Heh!

Here's me thinking and making plans in my mind, leave TA with bibik and hubby while NM and myself watch the movie with SIL, MIL and an aunty. I had some expressed milk supply to last (NOT!). Perfecto!

I bath TA, fed her and put her to sleep. So off we go. The moment the car turned the first corner, my heart was already at home with TA. Guilt feeling started to hover me. "I should have asked hubby to send me later!", "the movie was going start in 2 hours time, ample time", "is the milk supply enough", "will she cry?", "Mama misses you baby TA" bla bla...

No doubt we had a good time especially me getting to spend time with NM alone together for a few hours. Very rare! I held her hands walking around the mall, she sat on my lap and hugged her and kiss her while watching movie like two lovers in love..hehe yes, I am in love with my child.

The thing is NM missed TA too. Aaawwwww....

About an hour into the movie,

NM : Mama where is TA?

Me : She's at home with Papa. NM rindu kat TA? *hugging her tight*

NM : *Angguk*

Me : Mama pun. Later we'll go home and be together again ok? NM, Mama, Papa and TA.

hhhaaaiiihhh....my helt melts.

A tear jerking movie is not interesting enough for a 3 year old.

"Mama I dont' want to watch this. I want to watch Disney Junior only!"

Birth of Tia Ayesha (Part 2)

noreply@blogger.com (opsiedaisy) — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 05:55:00 +0000

I felt contented! I did it! And now all I wanted to do was just rest and be with my baby. Her smell, her calmness and her cute face just makes me melt over and over again.

After the placenta was out (in the toilet), we went back into the room and rested. If I remember correctly Tia released the first meconium while we rested. Kak Fiza did most the things afterwards. She bathed Tia and placenta while both being attached together. Hubby held the placenta close to Tia. She placed the placenta in the plastic container and clothed Tia. I took a long warm shower. It felt good to be all clean again. Well there were blood stains on the shirt and my skin and we did wait for 4 to 5 hours for the placenta. Walking and being upright felt a bit giddy. So after dressing up, most of the time I would just lie down and look at my newborn sleep.

Nevertheless the whole process was not over yet. We had planned this earlier. After a calm and gentle birth we would rest and make our way to the hospital to cut the cord and be monitored. Honestly at the back of our minds there's always the 'just in case' baby need to be checked. I am not at all concerned about me because I know I am alright and will survive this. Also we didn't want to bother about making a police report so cutting the cord at the hospital was the only answer.

After a short nap and lunch, we made our way to the hospital. Abg Li drove us there. Just before reaching the hospital we all recited Basmallah and prayed that everything goes through smoothly. Our prayers were answered.

We were received by almost a dozen standby doctors and nurses at the UMMC emergency ward. It was a Sunday afternoon, the staff were not too busy. Everyone were excited and curious of this 'accidental homebirth' mother. Hehehe...Maybe they bought my story, maybe not...but they were all kind. They were surprised to see a well dressed, smiling and cheerful mother carrying a nice smelling and wrapped baby - with the cord and placenta attached to her, in my hand. Tia's cord were cut by a nurse in the car. There were some interviews in the car about what happened, is baby ok, is mother ok, what time, when and how. I am glad that the response by the standby doctor was "Laa kalau macam ni tak payah doktor pun tak pe. Tak de kerja la saya" with a laugh. Heh! He was a nice guy. After that the nurses were more interested to play with my cute baby. She was all pink, round and healthy. That didn't end there, of course a few more interviews by different doctors.

On the way to the hospital 9 hours after Tia was born.
All showered, eaten and rested.

The standby staff rushed out to help me out of the car, surprised to see a smiling mother with a dressed baby with the placenta attached.

They brought out the stretcher for me. I told them I could walk but the asked me to climb on it anyway since they brought it out already.

The cord cutting was done in the car hence the birth certificate stated that Tia was 'born' at the hospital. Owh well. We'll tell her ALL about it when she's older.

All I wanted to do was go to the hospital, get checked and go home but that didn't happen. They wanted us to check in because I looked pale and they were concern because delayed cord cutting, therefore too much blood went into the baby's blood stream. What? I read about this and there is no concern at all. It is designed that way. God has designed it that way.

After we were checked in, they took Tia away to the paediatric ward for monitoring and I was told that I will be warded in the maternity ward. I specifically mentioned to them that I wanted to fully breastfeed her and injections to be done on her buttock (Vitamin K and BCG which is compulsory for newborn in Malaysia). It took about 2 hours before I was given a room and another 2 hours for a doctor to come and check me. That was how long I was separated from Tia. 4 hours in the evening on her first day of birth. I mention evening for a purpose! I was sad but I kept myself positive. The first thing they gave her was antibiotic because I gave birth at home! All the family came to visit right after which was really nice. I was consoled. Ya, the only person who was a bit harsh was a nurse at the paediatric ward. I don't care because I made a choice to give the best for my baby and that was what she got.

The paediatric and maternity ward was on a different floor. That night I had to go back to the maternity ward for the late evening rounds. I waited and waited and finally the doctor on duty came. She said that I had minor tear. So stitches was not necessary. I wanted to go back to the paediatric ward to visit Tia right after but was not allowed because I needed a relative to push a wheelchair for me. They didn't want me to faint on my way there! This was not highlighted to me earlier! I was as strong as a horse. I was walking everywhere in the ward while other mothers stayed on the bed. Even the nurses commented how strong and OK I was. Hubby went home that evening because it was a women ward and visitors were only allowed at specific time. I was a wreck! I called hubby and cried while pumping my breastmilk in a dedicated room. But not for long. I regained my composure and told myself that I am strong, my baby's strong and talked (telephathy-ed) to my baby asking her to be strong. Why I didn't fight some may ask? I was not ready to be emotionally wrecked and broken into pieces at that very time. So I redha, stayed calm and passed my few drops of colostrum to the nurses to feed my baby. Did they give them to my baby? Did they feed FM to my baby on her first day? I choose not to know. Or until today I'll be saddened by this. So yeah on her first night till morning, she was separated from me also. After the morning rounds check up, I immidiately went to the paedratic ward and didn't go back up to the maternity ward until they looked for me. Somewhere around this time Tia got her BCG shots on her arm and not on her buttock as I have requested. Sigh!

That evening it was all clear for me and I was able to check out. On the other hand, they wanted to monitor Tia in case of jaundice. No she did not have jaundice. I made sure I drank enough carrot juice to avoid this. The pricking of her foot to get the blood sample every few hours was not easy to see.

I wish not to say more about my hospital experience but the pictures below are some of the things I don't like about the after birth. I wish we didn't go to the hospital but we did. We went there healthy and pink but came back a little bruised. Inside out....unnecessary.....

I was given drips and antibiotic...Not nice!

Tia had this on both of her thigh...Not nice!

She was given antibiotic on the first day through her feet
*my heart still sink when I see this*

I am not sure why she had this

but we were bruised....

my poor baby!

Birth Story of Tia Ayesha* (Part 1)

noreply@blogger.com (opsiedaisy) — Sun, 10 Jul 2011 00:34:00 +0000

It was a beautiful birth to a wonderful pregnancy to a beautiful Tia Ayesha. This sums up my feeling really. No words can actually describe how perfect it was. Alhamdulillah.....all praise is due to Allah.

I will try to write as detail as possible on the accounts of my birthing experience, therefore this post may be a bit lengthy one but really, it is for me, an experience which I keep very closely to my heart. Here goes...

Everything was so smooth sailing, from the moment we got pregnant on the first trial, with me having only one side ovary functioning for fertility, till the birth of Tia Ayesha*. It's a miracle and to Allah I am very thankful. This God's given gift only makes me more eager than ever to experience the natural birth that I've always wanted (even with Nia) but never in my living soul that I thought I would be doing a homebirth. All I wanted was the birth of my baby in a very natural manner, no intervention and letting the body to do its work as how God has created it to be. Baby and body does the work and we as parents are just there to guide her right from the start of her very life.

Somehow after the successful homebirth experience of my little nephew, Andy Malik, it got me thinking maybe, maybe its an option. This was 2 months before Tia's birth day. However, we were also grateful to have found DrC from PMC who have agreed to our Birth Plan and every single request ( I will share the Birth Plan vs Homebirth plan after this post) which includes no drugs to be administered (pitocin, epidural etc), to be able to birth at any position, delayed cord cutting, no episiotomy, no time limitation to birth my baby and the list goes on. This got me thinking the medical professions really have different thought and theories to everything. So there is no right or wrong to certain things, that includes natural birthing.

Getting to agree on homebirth was another thing. I have to admit it was not an immediate decision between me and hubby. It came with much thought, discussion, research (this was all me I have to say :P) and mostly support from family and friends. The FB Gentle/Homebirth Group (Buddy Chat) has a lot of influence in this. It has so much information, research, experienced mothers with both hospital and homebirth experience and mothers who voluntarily and willing to give support. I love them all for this. The best assurance was after my meeting up with Soo Wai Han at a small gathering at her house, founder of http://www.hypnobirthing.com.my/ and a Hypnobirthing educator herself. With a big heart she mentioned that she doesn't mind assisting the birth of Tia even though we did not attend to any of her class sessions. That seals it for dear hubby. At 37th week in my pregnancy, he was finally given the assurance and agreed to homebirth! However, I have to mention here that hubby refused to be included in the gathering because he didn't want to change his mind after listening to others and very nervous of the whole homebirth thing. He specifically mentioned that my Homebirth Plan was enough info and he trusted that everything will be fine.

By this time, we've got the choice of both worlds, a natural hospital birth and homebirth. We were relieved that now we can focus on birthing and location were secondary.

I have been feeling tightening since the 36th week . It was just pressures without any sensation. By 37th week the tightening was daily but not consistent. I was very happy my body was already preparing for the birth of my baby. By 38th week, I was already anxious and hoped that baby will be birth sometime around 39th week. I constantly walked and sit on the birthing ball to help baby descent down. Probably baby noticed my anxiety and gave the first sign of going into labour which was defecate more that once (very rare for me during this pregnancy) at 39th week. 2 days before the actual birth of our dear baby.

The next day, at 39 weeks and 1 day, as I was cleaning up the house and sorting out Tia's clothes, at about 4 pm I noticed that the tightening were somewhat noticeably consistent and started to time it. It was about 15 to 20 minutes apart but didn't really think it was true labour as it was the same tightening sensation I felt for the past 2 weeks. That night we had dinner at my in law's house. They had a relative farewell dinner cum June babies birthday celebration. On the way there at about 6 pm I told hubby that the tightening were already 10 minutes apart and we may be expecting baby that night itself or the next day. Hubby silently tried to keep calm and was visibly a little nervous because by this time we have decided that it was going to be a homebirth but location was either my in law's house or our doula's house which is my SIL, Kak Fiza who had homebirth 2 months before. I couldn't help but to laugh at hubby's expression. By this time I needed a bit of focus to breath with every tightening.

Once arrived at the in law's house I decided that I should go for a walk to speed things up. So hubby and Nia accompanied me to walk along the road in front of the house for about 1/2 an hour. The tightening were still 10 minutes apart. When we got in, guests started coming and we had a nice dinner. We informed Abg Li and Kak Fiza that I was probably (by this time I still wasn't sure if it was true labour) in labour and to prepare if Baby should be birthed any time that night or the next day. Right after dinner about 10.00pm I felt a long and a bit more intense surge. Suddenly with a little pop, what seemed to be clear and diluted mucous plug released. Immediately the surges were a bit more intense and needed focus. So I went on and sat on the birthing ball which felt so comfortable and manageable during surges and listened to the Marie Mongan's Birth Affirmation. I realised the most comfortable position on the Birthing Ball was to realy tilt my pelvic to the front while leaning the ball to the bed to stabilize myself. By this time I was 5 minutes apart. We discussed with Abg Li and Kak Fiza and decided we should birth at their house and be there before 12 midnight. While they went back home to settle down and put Dina and little Andy to sleep, at 11.30pm I suddenly threw up. I knew for sure now that I was in labour and already in transition and moving to active labour. We grabbed our things, left Nia at in law's house and made our way to Sunway SPK.

I can still remember clearly. my last communication with Nia and her being my only baby was when I was on the Birthing Ball focusing on my breathing and Nia came into the room excited and asking me to go out and see the birthday cake. She said with an almost whispering voice, "Mama come, look. Let's go outside. Cake mama..." They were already bringing out the cake for the June babies. I couldn't respond to her. Her every touch and bump somehow elevate the intensity of the surges. Hubby took her away and distracted her. She went away with a cry and calling out for me. Sorry Baby Mama! The next time I met her was at the hospital and suddenly all grown up and took the role as a big sister immediately.

On the way to the car I had another surge and had to hold on to the gate. I almost went on all fours right in front of my in law's house. Boy! Thinking I almost gave birth under the moon in front of my in law's house. Phew! Sunway SPK only took about 15 minutes without traffic but it took us more time as I had hubby stopping the car with every surges. In all we made 5 stops. Fortunately it was night and traffic were not too bad. Even the slightest bump was excruciating. We got to Abg Li's house around 12 am. By this time I was 3 minutes apart. Kak Fiza, Abg Li and hubby prepared the room, burnt the lavender incense, dim the lights, lay out the mattress, plastic sheet, surgical mat, towels and later Abg Li went to inflate their Birthing Ball at a nearby Shell station. For that I am very thankful but just want to mention here, somehow the ball was too inflated that it was a bit hard and pressure was a bit intense when I sat on it. A bit more deflated woud have been more comfortable.

First I was lying on my side on the mattress and had the earphone on. I wanted to be in the same position as I was when birthing with Nia. It felt comfortable the last time and I was able to rest. It felt comfortable this time too while hubby and Kak Fiza took turn doing the Light Touch Massage on my back but I think by this time Kak Fiza was already on the phone or SMS with Wai Han and her advice was for me to be in an upright position to speed things up. Boy! Was she right. By now it was probably 1ish to 2am. I think Kak Fiza went to breastfeed little Andy (God bless her!) when I changed to sitting on the Birthing Ball. Hubby sat right in front of me on the bed holding my hand while he did his meditation when I was relaxed. When the surges came we both focused while I did the deep breathing. I thought it was funny, in between this 2 to 3 minutes apart I told hubby that I was very sleepy and wish I could just go to sleep but couldn't because when the surges came I had to focus again. I told him that while looking at the mattress longingly. Hubby said he was sleepy also but gave me the encouragement to continue.

Kak Fiza came back into the room about 2am and told me to change position again. I stood up and hugged hubby. My intension to slow dance was shortlived. Suddenly there was a strong and long surge. I felt like going down on the floor. Hubby pick me up and held me to the standing position and reminded me to breath. I told him I feel like pushing. Quickly Kak Fiza and hubby helped me to my final birthing position which was on my knees and my body leaning on the bed and on the big pillows. This position was very comfortable as it lifts off the gravity pull on my cervix. After about 2 more surges at probably around 2.15am, my water bag burst and yellowish and clear (I was told) amniotic fluid gushed out and immediately I had the urge to push. All this time I was still on my earphone listening to the Birth Affirmation.

Kak Fiza asked Abg Li to bring down the radio and put on the Birth Affirmation CD because by now I have to listen to Kak Fiza's instructions. I won't be able to hear her with the earphone on. With every surge Kak Fiza did the counter pressure massage which really helped. I believe I would have just pushed hard if she didn't help with the massage. Her constant instruction to me were "Breath, Do your Berak Breathing, Smile, Don't Push, Deep Breath". I remember Kak Fiza said it with a very motherly soothing voice. Me feeling helpless, just listened and do as I was told.

By this point with every surge without pushing and just deep breathing , I was able to feel baby descending down. In the first few surges I actually felt as if baby was moving down with the surge and when the surge was over the baby moves back up slightly. I am not to sure if it's the baby or I was actually feeling the muscles but I thought it was interesting. During this time I felt what really helped was to face the surges with really deep breathing, a slight pause and let go with a moan. Once I felt baby was about to come out I announced it to Kak Fiza and hubby, "Baby's coming out" and with that I slowly felt the stretch and slight ring of fire with the next few surges. It was not painful. It was just stretchy feeling. After a few more surges, Tia Ayesha* was born healthy in the hands of her Papa at 3.16am. An hour after the water broke, all clean from vernix and with a loud strong cry. All the while, hubby was very quite and did not say a word. I was told later he was nervous and was trying to focus. Hugs!

I did it! We did it! All safe and sound. Alhamdullillah. Tia Ayesha* was passed to me and given her first feed immediate and azan by her Papa.

Now is only to wait for the birth of the placenta. I was high on the birth of my baby, Kak Fiza reminded me to focus on the birthing of the placenta. By this time I was already lying down and have fed Tia. She was so alert and looking around very quietly. I waited for a few surges and tried to breath and push the placenta out but the surges were not strong enough. After 2 hours and Kak Fiza speaking to Wai Han, she suggested I resume to my birthing position and tried to birth the placenta in that position. We had to carefully maneuver Tia close to me as her cord were rather short, maybe about 1/2 metre or less. A few minutes there without any success, Kak Fiza thought that maybe sitting on the toilet bowl will help. Tia was laid on my lap and slept. The surges were still not very strong so Kak Fiza help to tap my tummy and hubby did the natural stimulation. I did the deep breathing and somehow the surges came back but still not strong enough. I feel like peeing but felt something was blocking the way. We were there for quite sometime and finally on the phone Wai Han told Kak Fiza to give me some 'encouragement'. She told me that if the placenta still cannot be released, we needed to go to the hospital either drive or call an ambulance. Once there doctor will administer pitocin to artificially start the surges again and expel the placenta out. In my mind I feared the cervix would be closed by now and doctor had to do a c sect just to get the placenta out. All our effort would go to waste and no way I am going to let that happen. Kak Fiza went out to speak to Wai Han on the phone again and suddenly with a mild surge and just a little push out came the placenta 4 hours after the birth of Tia Ayesha*. We all laughed at the 'scare' that worked. Thank God it was all happy ending after all.

A smooth sailing pregnancy

noreply@blogger.com (opsiedaisy) — Wed, 06 Jul 2011 14:32:00 +0000

I have not written much about this second pregnancy. The reason being is I have nothing to complain and everything was so smooth sailing. Not that I always complain in my posts but sometimes I feel as if it's any other normal days. I was that comfortable and happy being pregnant.

Start with the first trimester, there was no scares like the earlier pregnancies. I felt and know that baby was there to stay. The morning sickness were mild. Less than 10 occasions that I actually threw up. Just about 7 times more than preggy with Nia. I was working as usual and going about as normal. During this time I actually went to Terengganu driven by the contractors for work. I didn't tell them what I had in the oven so not to create any unnecessary concern or panic. I visited the installation site in an oil and gas vacinity which I wouldn't be able to do during my pregnancy with Nia.

Second trimester, was a joy. I enjoyed being pregnant and eating right. Carrot juice was as usual in my (almost) daily diet and seems to work for Tia as well. She had no signs of jaundice. I have no signs of carpal tunnel this time. Practice labour or commonly know as Braxton Hicks we manageable. I spend more time with Nia going to the park, bringing her around when I go out and about after work or during weekends. During this time I went to more outstations and some drove alone....Ipoh, Penang, Johor and Terengganu. Alhamdulillah everything went well. I constant spoke to Tia to be strong and comfortable in the womb as I was always carrying my stone heavy laptop bag around.

Third trimester, I slowed down on my outstation trip except for one which couldn't be avoided. A trip to Terengganu which hubby and Nia tagged along. I love them to bits for that. That was when I was 7 months preggy. Somehow this trip was a bit uncomfortable as I had to wear the Fire Retardant material coverall in the same O&G site. I didn't bother buying a new one to accomodate the 7 months preggy belly as I was only going to wear it one last time before giving birth. So the elastic at the waist stretched to the last bit. It didn't look ruffled at the waist as it was stretched to the maximum. LOL. Going in and out of the coverall is another story. Being pregnant and having to pee every half an hour. Not fun! Fortunately I was only allowed in the indoor area. I was not allowed to go to the site for safety reasons. Adding to that, shoes are not allowed at the indoor area. So I wore my socks indoor and to go in and out of toilet I had to open them. OK 7 month pregnant and bending down to touch the feet to open socks? Not fun! In all I was a wriggling worm trying to get out of a waist tight coverall and socks every half an hour to pee and putting them back on after. Not fun! To think of it now, it was quite funny.

Third trimester was also a joy. I only had mild feet swelling. It came and go. Sleep was great. I could sleep well and constantly listened to Marie Mongan Birth Affirmation. I rarely listened to the Concentration audio because honestly I couldn't concentrate. I had to give attention to Nia before sleep and during the day so 'concentration' was definitely not in the list but I was focused. I was focus with what I wanted. A natural birth with no intervention at all.

The only discomfort I had was in the final week, 38th week. I was getting heavy and getting in and out of bed was quite a task. I had the discomfort of heartburn and couldn't lie down to sleep. I slept almost sitting up on bed but once I am asleep I could change position to laying down and go into deep sleep. I am thankful for that. Other than that I absolutely have no complains. Love my pregnancy and endure it with happy and positive thoughts.

At the final week (at 38th week) I was already working from home, that I really have to thank the management. It really helped to focus on the birthing of Tia and I kept busy with nesting instict at its best. I manages to sew curtains for my home, a dress for Tia, the cloth diapers, ring sling, baby carrier and clean up the house here and there. I went walking, I sat on the birthing ball and able to spend the last few days with Nia alone, which I really needed and appreciate. She's such a doll and love to cuddle and kiss my tummy. I can see she too was excited of the arrival of baby Tia.

I had a homebirth with Tia but that's another story which I will post in my Birth Story.

Picture below : The day before Tia's birth, after me and Nia's evening walk outside Tok Mummy's house. I was sitting on the birthing ball (Neer's exercise ball) while listening to the Birth Affirmation via earphone.

Our latest addition

noreply@blogger.com (opsiedaisy) — Wed, 06 Jul 2011 14:16:00 +0000

Welcome darling

*Tia Ayesha*

Can't describe how happy we are to finally meet u and have u here...

Born on 26th June 2011 at 3.16am @ 3.34 kg via homebirth

You are received with much gentleness and love darling baby...

My little girls

noreply@blogger.com (opsiedaisy) — Fri, 17 Jun 2011 09:05:00 +0000

Nia will soon be a kakak at the age of 2 year and 9 months. I will definitely miss having her as my only child. At the same time I am very happy and delighted with the coming of another baby. It is one step further to another level of our small family unit.

She is such a gentle and obedient girl. I don’t have to stress myself over anything with Nia while growing up. I guess she gave me enough that her Mama can take during the first 3 month which honestly is not bad at all.

I love it when she tells me she wants to hug and kiss me. I do it to her all the time. I guess you treat people how you want to be treated never fails you even with little people. Most of the time when I am with Nia spending time in the room together we are the two most cuddly people in the world....hehe. Me time with Nia would be spending the evening with her in the room while she does coloring on a coloring book or art block. She loves that and I always encourage her. I am surprised recently she can draw a face. A round face with eyes (2 circles), a nose (2 circles more like lubang hidung), a smiley mouth and ears (2 circles outside the big round face). I don’t know where she learn that but she never fail to surprise myself and hubby everyday.

I often browse her baby pictures and she looks babyish in all the pictures. It’s funny how at the time when the picture was taken, I always think Nia has grown up so much but looking at the pictures today she still looks like a baby. I guess as mother you always see your little one as your baby no matter how old they are. Hmm maybe not after their 25…hehe

The pain, the journey and the joy to finally have her probably makes me more sensitive and emotional. But definitely it will be no different when baby no 2 arrives. This is why I am planning to have baby no 2 in a very natural manner, natural birth with no drugs, no intervention and to have control over my body. The baby will lead the way and myself and Papa will just guide her through the path, from the very start of her life. I am very passionate about this I can’t even explain how important it is to me. I guess all this hormones is getting me all prep up for the big day. And most importantly I’m very happy hubby is very supportive with the decision. His joking question came one fine night, “Can’t you be like normal mummies out there?” My answers were simple “I am normal, the others are not!” Haha

Not quite remembering things

noreply@blogger.com (opsiedaisy) — Mon, 13 Jun 2011 03:41:00 +0000

I had this incident during my last pregnancy, where I was in the office and forgot where I placed my handphone and thinking some within the office stole it.

I had similar experience of being forgetful during this pregnancy and this time it was more frustrating than before, somehow.

I went to IOI Mall Puchong after work to look for something. You know what? I forgot why I was there but I knew I went to Jusco to check out the swimming suit price….owh ya, I had Jusco vouchers given by the company but that was not the actual reason. Maybe to check out some sewing stuff. Anyway, after a meal and walking around, I decided that I had enough of walking and feeling tired. So going home was a kind decision to my tired feet.

So, paid the parking fee at the vending machine, drove the car out from the basement parking lot (at this point everything seem normal). It was raining quiet heavily outside and if you have been to the mall, right after you come out from the basement parking, you will come to the mall porch entrance. Right in front of it on the opposite road there is an entrance ticket vending machine for outdoor parking. I stopped right there and searched for my ticket to pay and exit. I looked everywhere, in my handbag, in the car, opened the car door just in case I dropped it at the floor while coming in and EVERYWHERE. After about 10 minutes of searching I was ready to go out to the security guard and report my ticket has lost and was already miserable thinking I have to pay for the lost ticket penalty for nothing. Mind you it was still raining heavily.

So I took a deep breath and tried to regain myself. I saw some cars passed by mine and went out to the exit road without stopping. I was confused. And then it all came to me…OMG I paid. I bl**dy paid my tickets, have already exited the basement carpark and all I have to do was to drive out to the main road. I really felt like I was loosing my mind the 2nd time during this pregnancy.

Owh! Did I tell about the 1st one. Just to make long story short, I thought I left my watch by the poolside at home. It was a wedding gift from hubby BTW. I went down to search for it and it was no longer there. I asked the café owner if he has seen it and asked him to keep aside if he has found it. I went back feeling dread and what do you know? An hour later my sister called and said that it was in my mom’s room and I brought it up after swimming. All I could remember was where the last time I placed it at the poolside but have no recollection of bringing it up with me after swimming. Blah! No fun!

1st Teacher's Day

noreply@blogger.com (opsiedaisy) — Sat, 21 May 2011 01:56:00 +0000

This year Nia get to give presents to her class teachers for Teacher's Day. She was so excited. I ordered cookies from my sister. She made a heart and flower shaped cookies and packed nicely with the Selamat Hari Guru note on it.

She enjoys school now. Even though initially for the pass few months it was to follow Mama to work, she has no problem getting off to school once we get there. I think now she genuinely likes school and meeting friends. At home she imitates her teacher teaching and talks about her friends. According to the school assistant, she hangs around and plays with older girls. She would be the youngest one in the group. Just like how she likes to play with her bigger cousins Kakak Mia and Kakak Iman. She gets more attention and loves to be treated like the little sister.

Latest addition to the LC Clan

noreply@blogger.com (opsiedaisy) — Sat, 21 May 2011 01:34:00 +0000

Welcome Andy Malik to the family :)

My sister in law, Afiza had a gentle, painfree, calm, drug free homebirth through Hypnobirthing.

It was so inspiring. Read her story here.

Cuppy Cake and craft

noreply@blogger.com (opsiedaisy) — Sat, 21 May 2011 01:16:00 +0000

The weekend after my birthday, my dear sister invited me to her house. She made red velvet cup cakes which was yummy. Unfortunately no pictures to show. I totally forgot about it.

And Nia had fun with her 7 year old cousin she calles Kakak Mia. They did arts and craft. Try this. It's so fun and simple to prepare.

All you need is a bottle with small nozzle tip (like a sauce or honey dispenser). My sister baught for Amira specialy for art at Chow Kit Road about RM2.50. Cheap. You will need a few for different colours.

The ingredient:
1 cup of flour
1 cup of water
1 cup of salt (yes, that's a lot of salt but the after effect is really nice. When it dries up, it gave the glittery effect)
Different food colouring. My sister had American food colouring she uses for her cake decorating which was really nice and rich.

Divide every thing equally in separate bowl and mix each one with different coloring.
Put them in a separate dispenser and start your art work on a hard paper/cardboard.
Let it dry.

Nia loved it.

Hard at work with Kakak Mia

Mia's art

Yet another year wiser....

noreply@blogger.com (opsiedaisy) — Sat, 21 May 2011 00:49:00 +0000

A month late post. My birthday was on the 19th of April....year? Does it really matter..? hehe. Mother in law cooked a special dinner, Italian and hubby bought a 'surprise birthday cake'. It's really cute and funny. Everyone in my husband's side of the family will have a 'surprise' birthday party every year. So you can imagine more than 10 birthday surprises in a year. Everytime, mother in law will cook a special something for dinner and there will be a surprise birthday cake. What I mean by surprise is, after dinner the birthday person will be distracted with something while the other family members prepare to bring out the cake with candles litted on and the lights out. When the birthday person comes out the whole family will shout "SURPRISE!!" EVERYTIME! hehe I think this is so cute and fun. It has become sort of like a culture in the family. I think the children will remember this and have fun stories to tell each other.

But this time, Nia kinda blew it. I was literally doing something in the room after dinner and she came to me and ask me to come out "Mama come! Look there! In the kitchen. Come Mama!" I went out and saw SIL preparing to light up the candle.....Hahaha! I had to retreat back in the room and act (or shall I say act to act) surprise. It was so funny.

Thanks for the love cake guys..

Nia and her cousins waiting to blow the candles during lights out .

During lights out and when the cake comes out, the children will be the most excited ones and of course there will be birthday songs and candle blowing for all of them. There will be 5 rounds of that before we can actually eat the cake. :)
Thanks Papa for the lovely cake.

2011 birthday celebration at 7 months preggy with my 2nd baby.

Letter to my unborn child Part II

noreply@blogger.com (opsiedaisy) — Mon, 16 May 2011 02:59:00 +0000

My dearest Baby,

I knew the moment you were already growing in Mama’s tummy almost immediately. I held my tummy and smiled and spoke to you silently, “It’s just you and me Baby. You have to stay strong.” I was in Singapore for work when Kakak Nia confirmed Mama’s believe. Papa told me when I called him, “Last night Nia spoke in her sleep. She said, “Dah ada adik tu” and then she went back to sleep.” This was only a few days after Mama had this strong instinct. Mama was so happy. It was 3 weeks after the incident that we knew you were indeed growing a little nest you call home for the next 9 months. Mama waited for a few more days when Mama’s menses were delayed but in my heart I knew you were already there in Mama’s tummy settling down and growing.

Having you was another miracle for us. You have 2 big brothers, Alif and Adam who only had the chance to be in Mama’s tummy for a few weeks. Mama and Papa will tell you about how they have taught us, encouraged us and showed us love even at their short appearance with us. Then came Kakak Nia.

You have a loving Kakak who kisses, hug, play and tickle you even when you were in Mama’s tummy. You have a loving Papa who has big dreams for you. He would hold Mama’s tummy at night while I sleep and feel you move and squirm knowing you are well growing in the comfort of your nest. And last but not least a Mama who will always love, encourage and support you.

Carrying you was so easy. Mama has been healthy and strong. Mama feels she can run a marathon. J

We can’t wait to meet you and have been anticipating your gentle and calm arrival.

Rest be assured that you will be received with much love, care and happiness.

Muahs! xoxo

Love you much,
Mama, Papa and Kakak Nia Maesha

My 1st letter to then my Unborn Nia

The blood is good and baby's good

noreply@blogger.com (opsiedaisy) — Thu, 07 Apr 2011 10:51:00 +0000

During last month's check up doctor found a disturbing find. The blood test results today showed that hemoglobin is good so no anemia, no thalassemia and iron is also good. The only point left is long term injury or disease. hhhmmm not that I know off. I am given a clean bill of health. The small blood cells? Lets just say it wants to be cute and small, that's all. Yeay! I am a healthy 7 months preggy mother who looks like going into 9 month but I don't care. We're both healthy. That's whats more important.

The little one is also doing well and doing a good job! Confirmed a SHE.

Can't you tell she's a gorgeous baby? My sleeping beauty. Too cute....

Car wash

noreply@blogger.com (opsiedaisy) — Mon, 21 Mar 2011 18:23:00 +0000

One fine Sunday late afternoon, Nia helped Papa wash the car at Tok Mummy and Tok Daddy's house. Papa asked Mama whether she wanted to join in the fun but Mama declined, not wanting to ruin the father and daughter moment. Nia was really enjoying it that after Mama left them both for 1/2 hour and came back to see their progress, Nia was all drenched from the shower outside....I mean washing the car.

Cheers to smelly poo

noreply@blogger.com (opsiedaisy) — Sat, 19 Mar 2011 16:06:00 +0000

Just venting out...

It has not been an easy week at work last week. Was mostly just busy and had some project issues that needed to be settled. At the same time was travelling to Penang. Being 6 months pregnant and all, physically I was OK but emotionally I was....how shall I say this...stressed I guess. I didn't realise this until I came back to KL. I had mild headache. Berdenyut kepala otak. Usually headaches will be gone after ample hours of rest and sleep but this one kept on coming on and off....sampai hari ni. At first I didn't know why but today baru terfikir about this work issues & related it to the headaches I'm experiencing. Stress related ghopenye....bila dah tahu tu, barulah lega. All I have to do it keep myself calm balik and do slow breathing. I did a home blood pressure test. Alhamdulillah, normal.

And today was another thing. (Hubby asked me to forget about this but a pregnant mother of 2 1/2 y.o old child is a bit bothered by this so...) After a relaxing day at home, rested from the headaches, we met up with my mom, aunt and 2 of mom's friend of children related NGO & association (more reason for me to mention this) at a 'family club'. Lately Nia doesn't tell me if she poos and tak berbau pulak tu. So she has developed a mild nappy rash. After woken up from her sleep I went to the toilet to wash her. Kesian nak kejut awal-awal.

OK tell me something, is it wrong to wash a childs' poo in the public sink or was I misinformed? The last I remember, even the Baby Room in OU provides sink for washing. It is difficult to wash a child's poo using the spray in the public toilet behind closed doors. If I had a choice I would rather use the sink. So this lady came in the toilet, saw me, gave a stinking face and told me off something like "Don't you know you shouldn't wash a child in the sink" and berdengus sekali yang tak tahan tu. I said, "I don't know where else to wash her". I waited for her respond but she just shrugged, berdengus, membasuh tangan, tekan sabun dengan marah, ambil tisu dengan ganas and walked out. Berdentum-dentam la jugak. In the meantime, I just finished off with Nia sambil senyum and talked to Nia as usual. Seriously I thought she was concern about Nia's higiene. Bila fikir-fikir balik, tersilap. She's thinking about hers. OK, now writing this makes more sense why she acted the way she did. But honestly is this wrong in the first place? If she had talked to me and explained to me what she felt, it would have been a very informative day for me and she would have had a day less angered but some people just lack of communication skills. They expect other people to understand their dentum-dentam and dengusan. Blo*dy *ell. Honestly, it looks ugly Mdm Who-ever-you-are. (Mode:Geram) All I was thinking at that time, this lady was inconsiderate and probably does not have a child.

When I came out, I told my mom and the rest what happened, just in case the lady made a complaint. No one at the table thought I was wrong. My mom's friend from the children related association told me, "Don't worry dear. You finished what you had to do and you did nothing wrong."

Care to comment anyone? Enlighten me.

Join the dots

noreply@blogger.com (opsiedaisy) — Mon, 07 Mar 2011 11:29:00 +0000

She has started doing this at school. Joining the straight line dots. According to the teacher she has finished her first 20 pages workbook. Now she's starting with another one. Curved line. I was happy and impressed when I saw this. Even though not the right sequence, she has a controlled hand.

This is actually Yeyen's book. Thanks Yeyen. :P

Nanti Nia buy another one for you ok?

Paste paste paste

noreply@blogger.com (opsiedaisy) — Mon, 07 Mar 2011 11:21:00 +0000

Nia loves arts and crafts. Her favourite is colouring and drawing. She was happily colouring at my sister's house and then she found my niece's, Amira, glue. She 'wrote' with the glue so I just looked for some coloured paper laying around and did an impromptu activity with her.

Tear some colourful paper and stick it to an art paper.

This was her first glue experience with me.

I think she has done it in school.

Paste paste

She loves this.

Cod Liver's Oil Capsule

noreply@blogger.com (opsiedaisy) — Mon, 07 Mar 2011 11:13:00 +0000

I cannot believe my eyes at first. My BIL offered this while popping them in his mouth. I thought there was a new kind. The kind where it was sweetened and comes in a hard and sweets type. But NO! It the normal cos liver's oil capsule. Eeeewwwwww ...

Then he offered to Nia and she popped it in her mouth with a smile. And wanted more!!

Some people don't believe this but this is the evidence. She take more than one, even two at once. Most of the time more than just two.

Still don't believe me? So there's the proof. She enjoys chewing the capsule bit.

I'd like to believe she'll have better skin, hair and antibody after this.

Spray painting, finger painting, pie and pizza

noreply@blogger.com (opsiedaisy) — Mon, 07 Mar 2011 10:57:00 +0000

One fine Sunday morning, we were all excited on the planned activity with the family.

This is spray. This is paint with different colours.
This is how we mix the colour.

Nia spray painting. Even though the colour did not stick. Too diluted and not the water colour type but the children loved it.

Me showing Nia the 'right' way.

And then the messy part, finger painting. LOVE this.

We should do this again. It was fun for everyone.

After all that we can never say no to a hearty meal by Kak Fiza and MIL.

Hypnobirthing and Babyplus

noreply@blogger.com (opsiedaisy) — Thu, 24 Feb 2011 02:25:00 +0000

Babyplus-ing at 5 1/2 months

I have started Babyplus-ing again since 18 months. I wear them at 8am to 9am and 8pm to 9pm. Just the right timing on the way to work and during dinner time. At least during this time tak la bergerak sangat and not the most active time of the day. Ye ke? This time I am a bit less discipline. Oppss..about the time, remembering to wear or bring it when I am out. But most of the time I am OK.

Another thing I am excited about is, just like the first birth, Hypnobirthing. I have not practiced the relaxation CDs yet but glad my SIL, Kak Fiza is already on it. She is due in April, soon. Can't wait to hear her experience. She is seriously thinking about natural, pain-free, and home birth. Me? I am stil considering between hospital and home. My first birth experience which had nurses and doctor intefering with my decisions and going against my birth plan despite the doctor agreeing with it, is a bit of a put off. I heard there's another doctor at PMC who is pro active birth and natural birth. I will find out more about him.

But the happiest of all being able to Hypnobirth is the result you get - a calm and self sooth baby even at Nia's age now.

Nia was not the most easiest baby during the first 4 months being colicky and all. After talking to Kak Fiza about her classes, then I realized that the first 4 months episode was probably due to the doctor and nurses interferes.

-I was asked to induce because the labour process 'can take a long time' I should have just decided to wait

-I was finally ready to give birth and Nia was ready to come out but the nurses asked me to wait because the doctor was not around I should have listened to Nia and birth her anyway. Only God knows how difficult it was to resist 'natures' call'.

-When the doctor finally came and asked me to change position from my comfortable right side position, the surges were not strong enough to push Nia out. Probably Nia feels she didn't like that position or difficult to come out at that position. Through Hypnobirthing you will understand that Baby 'tells' us when and how?

-I push Nia for one hour to no avail. Doctor had to assist via vaccuum.

-During vaccuum one of the nurses switched of the pump in the mid of the process. I knew because doctor said in an stern voice to the nurse "Why did you switch off? I have not finished the procedure." Nia was out on the 2nd vaccuum attempt.

-She had meconium in the placenta, signed of disstress. Imagine what she had to go through at the final hour after a quiet, calm and serene 9 months environment. Isn't that traumatizing?

-Adding to that she was swept away from me to clean, weight, checked, diagnosed etc. when all I asked in my Birthplan was to breastfeed Nia immediately after she is birthed. I asked for Nia a few times from the nurse and she only gave her to me after 1/2 hour or more. Sedih tau!

But of course I'll say this again and again, Alhamdulillah she is fine and healthy. She was alert and wide eyed when she was brought to me and breastfeed without any problems.

Blood oh Blood....

noreply@blogger.com (opsiedaisy) — Fri, 18 Feb 2011 04:59:00 +0000

On my 4th month preggy check up I did a blood test. The result came out and we were able to see it only on the last check up ta 5 months preggy. My blood count and hemoglobin was ok and the rest of the category was ok except for the size of my blood cell....it is a bit smaller than normal. My gynea was a bit curious why she didn't see this in the past blood tests uring 1st pregnancy. What does this mean?

According to my gynea it can be due to 4 things:

1) Long term injury (bleeding)
2) Iron deficiency
3) Thalassemia (inherit)
4) Anemia

And from what I read it can be one of these 4 as well.

The most worrisome is if the small blood cell is due to thalassemia which I believe is not possible as it is in inherited. Non in the family that I know of has this. I think I can strike out anemia and long term injury that leads to bleeding as well coz my hemoglobin count is ok and I don't bleed myself to sleep. Heh!

So that leaves iron deficiency. Worst comes to worst I have to take more iron pills I hope.

I am going to do another blood test to verify this on 6 month check up. So we'll see.....

2 years and 5 months

noreply@blogger.com (opsiedaisy) — Sun, 13 Feb 2011 13:50:00 +0000

I can't write about Baby and not update on Nia. I've just got to get used to writing about 2 babies now. Nia will be 2 years and 5 month by the end of February which means she is actually 2 years and 4 months now. She is still an easy baby (toddler but still a baby to me) with not much tantrum.

Just a few days ago she had a once in a blue moon 2 year old fit. It was like she collected a few weeks or months of frustration and decided to burst it one day. What hubby and I did was just sat down and watched her. We didn't know what she wanted, she didn't tell us and she won't let us do anything, not even stand or even try to hold her or she will scream even louder. So we just sat and watched her for a good 10 minutes maybe. She stopped once or twice in between and continued, all the while watching us in the face. When she cooled down a bit I took her to the kitchen and gave her what she loves most, jelly and talked to her. We asked her what happened a while back, why was she crying? And she replied, "Nia nampak monster, kat luar tu.." And we just layan dia asked her what" What she did? "Nia pukul dia" Really? We asked her and coaxed her to telling how it felt and all that? I read a book that explained about this. Sometimes children just need to release and vent just like we adults do. All we need to do is just be there and let her. Once she is ok, talk to her about it, why, when, what, how? And next time it happens again, remind her of that feeling she had the last time it happened. And after a few times it happens she will remember and think before she even give a fit or tantrum again. The monster she meant was probably the bad feelings or anger. We'll see...I don't know, bak kata omputih "Kids say or do the darnest things.."

I sometimes buy sweets or lollipop for her when I came back from work. I don't mind her eating sweets as long as she has a good or acceptable teeth cleaning routine. If I don't she'll just ransac my bag and say "Nia nak ada something" Bcoz I always say "Nia, Mama ada something..." ngeeee my doing.

She doesn't do dramas going to school lately. I make the efford to send and bath her every morning. If this works for her even if she has to wake up earlier and be at school earlier, then I don't mind.

Nia kisses my tummy and hugs her adik everyday. Funny lately she will close her eyes and smile and roll her head one side to the other when she kisses my tummy. Lately she's been calling me Mummy instead if Mama. Mummy with a very manja intonation. I love it. :)

She's going to be a great kakak.

20 weeks

noreply@blogger.com (opsiedaisy) — Sun, 13 Feb 2011 12:15:00 +0000

5 months check up was an interesting one. Baby is growing well. All measurements are on time counting 20 weeks on all parts accept the femur length. The femur length is more than 20 weeks which means Baby can be a tall child. It's just funny to think Baby may be like her Mama and her Mama's sister hehehe...taller than the elder sibling. I remember when my gynae checked Nia at around the same time, she was measuring slightly small and my gynae comforted me by saying usually Asian children measure slightly small. The heartbeat was as usual very strong and regular. Alhamdulillah all internal and external organs looks good. Baby was moving about and even opening the mouth.

I've already felt strong movements for about a week now. Its just wonderful to feel the little ones' kicks and punches. The only time a woman enjoy being kicked and punched.

Doctor 70% confirmed that Baby is going to be a Team Pink. Yeay! Nothing wrong with pink or blue. It'll be a super yeay if its blue too. At the moment we are happy with pink. It was funny how the last check up it looked so clear that it was a boy but after checking again to confirm the little birdy got lost somewhere. So my gynae ask to wait for this check up to confirm. We saw the "burger"! However there is still another 30% possibility that it's going to be a boy instead. We'll see if its the same on the next check up.

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall

noreply@blogger.com (opsiedaisy) — Thu, 10 Feb 2011 07:31:00 +0000

Just like Humpty Dumpty, Nia too had a great fall.
I hope it's going to be the first and last (thats my wish Dear God!).
Heart attack Mama dibuatnye....

This happened in mid January by the way.

I was at work and SIL called in the afternoon saying Nia just fell. I didn't panic actually. Through out the whole incident I was rather calm. I asked her where? How? And what happened? Even told her that I can't be home cause I had a meeting to attend to. Call and talked to hubby who fortunately was home during the incident. Hubby said Nia was calling out Mama! Mama! I had to sit down and think straight. My brains were quickly trying to figure out what exactly I just heard and calculating time adjustment. It was almost lunch time anyway. So called him again and asked him to wait for me and we'd go to the clinic together. When I arrived home Nia was between sleep and crying. She was just back from school when it happened. So it was already almost time for her nap. To cut the story short she just wanted to sleep with the bloody and ballooned lips. I let her sleep and went for my appointment. Came back, she was still asleep and waited for her to wake up. By the time she woke up, she was starving. She could eat so that's a sign that the condition was not that bad.

At the clinic was the time I actually saw the real condition of the mouth. It wasn't too bad. During the fall, her mouth hit the floor and tore the soft and thin skin between the gum and the top lip (I used to worry about this skin being too close to the tip of her top lip. I guess I have no reason to be concerned anymore :P) that causes the sligh gush of blood and she bit on the top lip that causes it to balloon. The doctor was not concern at all. Just gave her an oral mouth cream to numb the lip and ask her to rest.

How she fell was another story? There were different sides of the story. Two actually. One, she feel on her own. Two, someone who shall not be named push her. What ever it is, everything is fine and a blessing in disguise. Nia soft and thin skin tore and made her smile even more sweet. :P

Just woke up, hungry and not in the mood

On the way to the clinic and feeling better

I'm ok la Mama. Quit fussing :P

Nia's first artwork

noreply@blogger.com (opsiedaisy) — Thu, 10 Feb 2011 07:03:00 +0000

Nia enjoys school. According to the teacher she is progressing well and she is quite advance in some things. That includes Emmil and Yeyen. Like recognizing the alphabets. This, I am a bit sceptical. Nyanyi boleh la. Emmil and Yeyen yes. They know the ABCs but Nia tak pernah pulak nak betul sangat. She's a bit playful when I try to do serious things with her. Maybe at school she is more discipline and her talent lebih menyerlah. Hubby asked me to shush and just trust her ability. Ok Ok I'll do just that.

On the 1st week, she came back with her 1st artwork in school. She said, "Mama, Nia snip snip!" and like any proud parent the artwork goes on the wall of fame. As of today it is still sitting among Tok Mummy's priced possession pottery pictures.

The rabbit and tortoise

Yeyen's (L) and Nia's (R) artwork