In case you curious according to Google's AdWords tool, placing AdWords for the term 'Adult Bibs" will cost you between AU$1.01 - AU$1.26 per click. Who would have thought that the Adult Bib market had so much potential?

Well.. *cough* *cough* I guess that these guys did. That's right, it's time for another dodgy infomercial, this time for the "Slopstopper".

This is not your average terry cloth bib you find in a store . . .

Made of the highest quality materials, the SlobStopper™ is constructed with two layers of PUL (polyurethane laminate), a thin absorbent fabric permanently laminated to a thin, waterproof barrier.

Made in the USA, you will not find a more durable, higher quality bib anywhere.

Because nothing attracts the ladies like a man so clumsy that he needs to wear a bib.

I wonder how many they've sold?

First up I got sent a link to this photo fresh from Flickr [original found here]. Why do I like it? It's a pug wearing pug slippers. Enough said.

Through the wonders of technology, I left my little Pug friend and discovered the The Amazing Magnetic Boy. Like the tag line says, "He has more than just a great personality, HE'S MAGNETIC!"

The Amazing Magnetic Boy then Magnetoman. A real life Magneto.

Ever have those moments where your cursor hovers over something and you can't decide whether to click or not? That's about the only way I can explain this Bot Fly removal video.

From Bot Fly to the Smithi Tie Protector. If you thought the Snuggy and the Snazzy Napper were awesome, then you'll probably be placing an order for one of these sooner rather than later.

Have you been keeping count? Yup, only at the fifth degree right now. So where is the sixth degree you ask? I guess it's where ever you end up once you leave this page.

The organisers behind the Awards show should not really be shocked, or able to raise their hands with a "... but we didn't know", as he really just picks up from where he left off at the 2010 Golden Globes.

Around this time last year the Guardian asked "Did Ricky Gervais shine at the Golden Globes?":

His performance, though, wasn't hard-hitting enough for some: the Hollywood Reporter called him "toothless", and sure enough, he did pull some punches. Joking about Mel Gibson's drinking is one thing – but off the leash, Gervais would surely make hay with Gibson's anti-Semitism too.

That, alas, is never going to happen at an event as stage-managed as the Globes – nor from a man as palpably delighted to be a Hollywood insider as Gervais.

This time around Gervais took another swipe at Gibson while introducing crowd favorite - OK one of my favorites - Scarlett Johansson:

"Our first presenter is beautiful, talented, and Jewish apparently. Mel Gibson told me that. He’s obsessed. Please welcome Scarlett Johansson."

Some of Ricky's other quotable quotes - read the ones most likely to offend - included:

“It’s going to be a night of partying and heaving drinking, or as Charlie Sheen calls it: breakfast.”

“Do you want to go see Cher? No. Why not? Because it’s not 1975.”

“Also not nominated I Love You Phillip Morris. Jim Carrey and Ewan McGregor. Two heterosexual actors pretending to be gay. So, the complete opposite of some famous Scientologist… My lawyers helped me with the wording of that joke.”

“Next up, Eva Longoria has the daunting task of introducing the president of the Hollywood Foreign Press. That’s nothing, I had just had to help him off the toilet and pop his teeth in.”

“Everything this year was three-dimensional, except the characters in The Tourist. I feel bad about that joke. I’m jumping on the bandwagon, because I haven’t even seen that movie. Who has?”

“And thank you to God. For making me an atheist.”

“I love this next presenter; he’s so cool. He’s the star of Iron Man. Two Girls and a Guy. Wonderboys. I’m sorry are these porn films? Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. Bowfinger? Up the Academy. Come on! He has done all of those films, but many of you in this room probably know him best from such facilities as The Betty Ford Clinic and the Los Angeles County Jail. Robert Downey, Jr.”

“You know our next presenter from such films as Hudson Hawk, Look Who’s Talking, Mercury Rising, Color of Night, The Fifth Element, Hart’s War. Please welcome Aston Kutcher’s dad, Bruce Willis.”

Reading them on screen doesn't quite convey the awkwardness you feel when you watch the lines delivered and the reaction of the audience, so here's a little highlights package.

* Note: Generally, but not always. Please see Sarah Silverman for another example.

These were produced by the H-57 Creative Station Advertising Agency from Milan, Italy. Having a look at their website it appears that they were also responsible for developing the 'Blade' font for the promotion of the Blade movies (I'm not a fluent Italian speaker/reader so much of the website is a mystery to me).

I have to say, when I first glanced at these images I had to take a second look before I realized what was going on here.

Source: H-57 Creative Station Advertising Agency

Whether or not I decide to keep a plugin is largely going to come down to one question, 'does the plugin make life easier?' If the answer is no, then there's a fair chance it won't be hanging around that much longer.

Off I go to switch off some plugins, if the lights go out, don't panic.

On the week I sat down and browsed through the Swollen Pickles archive. Some of what I found was good, some terrible, some a crass cash grab and some a reflection of where I was at personally at that point in time. This blog originally started off as a personal development experience. I wanted to see if I could start something from scratch and stick to it. In that respect, it's been a success. When I started I had no idea what was involved in starting up website from scratch, let along digging into any sort of code.

Not long after I set this up I decided that I'd try to make it self sustaining. I wanted to see if I could set up a blog to pay its own way in the world, and not rely upon me propping it up financially. This led to the inevitable monetization of the site. It didn't take me all that long to learn that income was directly related to traffic volume. More traffic, meant more money. This led me to analytics. Why were people coming here? What were they looking for? Tailoring content to search results had its advantages, more traffic. Giving people more of what they wanted was a fairly solid formula. The disadvantage being that it took me a little further away off the track that I had originally set out on. I set up other sites but in doing so found that I was spread too thin.

In looking through the archive I can almost pin point the moment in which this became more of a chore and less fun. In attempting to give people what they wanted, or what I thought they wanted, I wasn't getting what I needed out of the process. I'm sure I'm not the only person in the world that isn't a huge fan of chores. When something becomes a chore, I naturally steer away from it, toward something more fun and entertaining.

I guess what I'm trying to say, in a rather long winded fashion, is that I think it's time to get back to basics. Embrace minimalism. Strip the site back. Rebuild it. Make it something that I would visit myself, rather than something to cater to others. Back to basics.

So... if Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, 'Who's on First?' might have turned out something
like this...

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
       
COSTELLO: Thanks I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

ABBOTT: Your computer?

COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.

The latest in a long line of bizarre infomercials and odd products is the Snazzy Napper. The Snazzy Napper is "the snazzy way to sleep while you travel".

As the pitch says, the Snazzy Napper makes sleeping while traveling a breeze.

Use your Snazzy Napper™ and get your much needed sleep anywhere, anytime! It's like privacy in a bag.

That's right! Privacy in a bag! If wearing a bag over your head is your idea of privacy then the Snazzy Napper is for you!

Well here's the story...

A Chinese fishmonger almost died after an eel swam into his bottom.

Li Chang was sitting on the edge of a tank at a warehouse in Guangzhou in southern China when he fell back into a container of live eels, The Sun newspaper reports.

The 43-year-old said he was horrified when he felt one swim up his trousers and into his anus.

He said he was too embarrassed to tell anyone what had happened and continued working.

But colleagues called emergency services after he collapsed.

Doctors performed a five hour surgery to remove the creature and repair the severe internal injuries caused by it moving around.

"The eel had badly injured the patient," a hospital spokesman was quoted as saying.

"If he had not arrived when he did he would have died.

Source: Nine MSN News, 4 August 2010.

After reading that I had a few questions. Exactly how relaxed was the guy when he fell into the container? Maybe it's just me, but I'm pretty sure that if I were to fall into a tank of live eels a majority of my muscles would be quite tense, to say the least. Exactly what sort of 'trousers' was this guy wearing? Was he going commando under there? The eel caused some internal injuries by "moving around", so was it still alive when it was removed?

And, as a tribute to the eel guy, here's a somewhat appropriate number by the Mighty Boosh - The eel song.