A few weeks ago Big Bad Online 2022 happened, and it was a blast! It was my second time to take part in the online con and it was even more fun this time around. It was an amazing event: 24 hours of fantastic panels and a vibrant discord server! It was also my first time volunteering as a panel moderator and twitch mod, and I hope I get to do it again next time.

Online conventions are such a huge boon to folks like me from the global south. The TTRPG events I’ve been too in Manila are mini-conventions at best. Taking part as an international community really helps expand the TTRPG space and lays the groundwork for true inclusion and global support.

We still have a ways to go before the TTRPG space feels truly global, and we all need to keep centering and supporting diverse voices. But Big Bad is definitely putting in the work!

I’m really happy and proud to be part of two panels: Breaking Systems and Capturing Inspiration with the amazing Josh Hittie, as well as Creating and Publishing Your First TTRPG with the effervescent Kristin Devine.

I honestly think Josh doesn’t get enough credit for the amazing writing and design he’s doing in the TTRPG space, and I implore you to check out the two games he mentions in the panel, Vibe Check and DEATH GRIND!! MEGASTRUCTURE. Josh had a lot of great insight to share, including the open question of how does one translate something like movement in video games to a TTRPG framework. Thomas Manuel had a fascinating response, but I’m too literal a designer to completely agree with his take hah!

Kristin is a powerhouse of skill and talent, and I appreciated her strong guidance and nurturing energy through out the whole panel. People like Kristin bring so much to the TTRPG space and I’m glad I slightly kinda totally forced my way into being part of this panel! There were a lot of superb questions from chat and it was lovely to engage with folks.

I was also stoked to moderate the stunningly good panel of From Fledgling to Established: Breaking a Niche TTRPG Community into an International Space. As a Filipino game designer in the Philippines, there was so much I could strongly relate to as the panelists described their growing TTRPG space in India. But it was also fascinating to see the many differences! It was great to see how far they’ve come and what they hope for!

While I encourage you to watch every single panel, here are a few more I really enjoyed:

• Localizing RPGs in Portuguese was a stellar panel of professionals, and some of the challenges and opportunities in Brazil really surprised me! Maria do Carmo Zanini’s stories and insights into translation were really enlightening.

• GRWU and Coffee Talk felt like a good and chill time spent with friends who had amazing things to say about TTRPGs and the community. It was a welcoming space and each speaker had a chance to really shine.

• Building Tabletop Playgrounds: Two Approaches made the design/mechanical nerd me in whoop for joy. Seeing designers generously share their perspective through the metaphor and framework of a playground was remarkable.

Congratulations to the Big Bad Online team for putting together an amazing online event like this one, and making it free for everyone to access! I was overwhelmed by gratitude and joy by the end of the con, and it feels so special to be part of the TTRPG space of designers, players, and creatives.

I could never have imagined taking part in something like this, in all my years of playing TTRPGs. It makes me wonder about what other lovely surprises the future holds.

I’m not sure how it started, but in anime viewing there’s the general “three episode rule”. There are different ways of interpreting it but it basically boils down to give an anime three episodes to impress you. The general understanding is that it takes time to see the potential in an anime, and a single episode doesn’t usually do that.

I’ve been thinking about this lately because I’m surprised with how quick folks are to make pretty solid and or even final opinions about TTRPGs. I’ve seen people do so after just reading the text, or after a single session of play.

But here’s why I personally believe in following a three session rule for TTRPGs:

• One session isn’t enough

• Game Feel takes time to feel

• We all have baggage

One Session Isn’t Enough

Unless the game is built to be a one-shot experience, most TTRPGs require several sessions to see its full potential. Most games shine at around 6-8 sessions (if not longer), I think three sessions (excluding session 0) gives the game just enough breathing room to feel things out. In most TTRPGs where player characters Get Things Done In A Narrative Fashion, the first session sets the premise and the stakes. The second session raises the stakes, perhaps offers a cliffhanger. The third session is the big climax or final confrontation, with just enough time for an epilogue.

On top of that general story arc, that’s barely enough time to get the hang of the mechanics. The first session introduces you to the main task resolution system and essential aspects related to it. The second session has you getting the hang of things and exploring mechanical connections and synergies. The third session should have you starting to feel comfortable with pushing the mechanics further. Even if you’re familiar with the framework!

Let’s say it’s a Powered by the Apocalypse game — newer PbtA games push and pull the mechanics into different directions that takes time to get used to. I think we often make the mistake of thinking “I know what a PbtA game is like”, when games like Pasión de las Pasiones and Hearts of Wulin both work very differently within the system.

Game Feel Takes Time To Feel

How a game feels, is probably a whole blog post series unto itself. For now, I’ll describe it as how different games may have the same goals or draw upon the same themes but feel completely different in players engage with the mechanics. The Veil and The Sprawl may seem similar at first glance: they’re both PbtA Cyberpunk games. But The Veil focuses on emotions and genre crafting, offering a completely different experience depending on Playbook choice and setting generation. The Sprawl is an ode to Nueromancer and Shadowrun, a more focused experience that creates a satisfying cycle phases of a mission.

Both games have a completely different game feel. The Veil feels cerebral, thematic, and asks you to check in on your character’s emotional state and create the world together. The mechanics ask you to both connect to the world and your character in an intimate way, while using that connection and intimacy to serve the mechanics and PC goals. The Sprawl feels tactical, risky, and the world is something that happens to you. You can prepare as much as you want and stack the odds in your favor, but the mechanics can still land you in a bad position and that’s the fun of it!

Even if both games use the same systemic framework and design philosophy of Powered by the Apocalypse (we play to find out, we trigger moves, etc etc) the game feels completely different in how the mechanics, narrative, and player experience all collide into each other.

I’ll have to think some more about how to put into words what game feel means, but it’s definitely not something that comes across when just reading about the game or playing one session of it!

We All Have Baggage

What I mean by baggage is: your game experience, expectations, and goals. These can often come at odds with the game you’re playing, and approaching a game on its own terms and allowing it to unfold as it was intended to takes time.

The more we play TTRPGs, the more our ideas of what gameplay is and should be starts to calcify. Relationships in games should be mechanized like this, the GM should do this in a game, the players should do that, PCs need HP to feel fragile and the world is dangerous, if a PC is in a scene with just a GM it’s not roleplaying as a group, etc etc etc. All of these ideas are based on our experiences, what we expect, what we want our games to be like. But they get in the way of seeing what the game in front of us actually is and what it’s inviting us to do.

When I first played Dream Askew, a Belonging Outside Belonging game, I suffered. Greatly. Playing a GM-less game was difficult. It was difficult to build stakes and challenges, and figure out how to address them. The whole group decided to venture from the enclave, which was a huge mistake. Most of our moves were about being in the Enclave, engaging with the community. We didn’t know when to pick up a Setting Element, who would voice the NPCs. It was a mess! It was a bad time! It was just one session.

I played Dream Askew another time, and then another. Each time with a different group actually. By the third session, it was enough for me to leave behind my baggage and meet the game where it was. In my mind I thought, oh this is a GM-full game, we’re all the GM. Oh, we build the stakes and challenges that interest us, and craft them together. We stay within the enclave, and engage in the slice of life queer tenderness and difficulties the game encourages. We make an NPC that we all love and jokingly fight to play each scene they come up in. It’s fun!

Dream Askew, and the Belonging Outside Belonging framework, is one of my favorites now. And it would have never been this way if I didn’t give the game three sessions, just enough time for me to leave behind my own baggage.

I’m Asking You To Give Games Time

Really, the three session rule is more of a guideline than an actual rule. What I’m really asking from you here is: please give games a chance to impress you, to win you over, to show you what they’re capable of.

I make it very clear to folks when I have an initial impression or when I have questions that can only be answered when I play the game. I’m open to having opinions in flux, vague open ended things that need more input. It’s also taught me that even after I form an opinion, I can always change my mind later. Wild concept, I know!

What were games that needed more time for you to enjoy them? Do you think one shot games need a similar rule or are they held to a different standard for you? Do you have your own guidelines when coming across a game for the first time? What do you think about game feel, and how would you describe it?

At first I thought, Well I don’t have to think about making this into a TTRPG because Spencer has that covered with LIGHT. Which is true, LIGHT is a rules lite game that embodies the loot and shoot vibes and power fantasy of video games really well. Fantastic stuff! (sidenote: Spencer is working on a new version of LIGHT and I’m so excited about it, you should just check out his games in general).

But as I played through a quest and watched notable characters interact with each other, the more I started to think I want to play a game about THIS instead, and I can’t get that from Destiny 2 or LIGHT.

So what is THIS? Basically many of the characters are Guardians who have been at this for a long time, centuries even. They fight, they protect humanity, they die, they’re revived in battle, and it happens over and over again. I can’t stop thinking about how that would affect a person’s character, their very soul even. How does that change how they interact with each other?

“Every instinct is telling me to strike, centuries of conditioning. But…instincts can lie,” one character says. It made me think of how hard it is for long lived warriors to change and grow. How could a TTRPG guide that sort of play? In the same conversation, the characters call upon events that happened long ago to prove a point, “Give him the same chance you gave me…once upon a time.”

I started to imagine what kind of play that would look like. What kind of game has you explore what it means to be a long lived warrior, who interacts with others who have seen and experienced as much as you have? What parts of you would you force to change, what dead parts of your soul would you revive? What difficult and painful lessons took decades, if not centuries to learn? What does it mean to be resurrected, again and again, to be deathless and yet awaiting the final death?

We often see indie designers draw upon inspiring media to create their games. I do the same! But I think a lot of people get caught up on how to embody all of the inspiring material in a single TTRPG. A tall order that I feel dilutes the true potential of a game.

Just because LIGHT does not embody this super specific desire I have, does not make it any less of a great game. LIGHT does one thing, the video game power fantasy, and does it really well. Fantastic! And the game is better for it. But this is a whole other conversation for another time.

(Ahem, in fact, Josh Hittie and I will be talking about drawing from inspirations for your TTRPG design during our Big Bad Online panel, you should check that out!)

But I also think there’s a lot of potential in TTRPGs exploring beyond the inspiring material. Offering a creative space that can’t be present in the original media at all, and can only be effectively played out in a TTRPG.

There’s a lot of focus on emulating things, like the outdated (and limiting) idea that Powered by the Apocalypse is mainly a genre emulator. But what about expansion? What about taking a new path beyond what inspires you, with a path that only a TTRPG can create?

With that in mind, I’d like you to think about the media that inspires you, and what about it that you want to see in a TTRPG. What new paths can you forge? How can you expand instead of emulate? What would that distinction look like? How would it affect gameplay?

In the meantime, I’ll just keep daydreaming about my TTRPG of immortal guardians and the centuries of emotions and relationships they carry with them. I don’t dare to create a new game, not when I have so many I need to polish and refine! But it’s a lovely idea I go back to in between shooting things in Destiny 2.

• Introduce players to a new game/series/playtest

• Create PCs and NPCs

Introduce Players to the Game

A Pinterest board is a great visual introduction to the game and its vibes. I often create Pinterest boards while I’m getting a game ready for playtesting, or when I set up a new series. When I send this to my players, they get to daydream about the game, what characters they could play, and the characters they want to meet. (“daydream” is a lovely gameplay term I’m borrowing from my new friend Judd).

Here’s my Pinterest page, you can see I have several boards for games I’ve run over the years!

Create PCs and NPCs

A Pinterest board can inspire character creation and move along the first session. My players appreciate having what feels like part of a ready made character.

But most importantly, I always keep the Pinterest board open on one tab when I run a game. I start clicking around when I feel I need an NPC to appear on the scene. Is it time to describe a new demon in my blades campaign? Yes, they have flesh made of metallic plates, delicate horns, and an impenetrable gaze.

As an added bonus, I can describe what I see from the image, extrapolate a personality and demeanor from it, and make the world feel more alive for my players. The Broken Sword of the House of Sand & Mist is fragile, like a butterfly. But there’s a fire in him that burns bright, a determined vulnerability that I bring to the character.

The image then is added to our collection of NPCs, making it easier to refer to our supporting cast and their details. This in turn makes it more likely for a player to want to reconnect to an NPC. It creates a living world made of nuanced characters and shifting relationships.

Do you already use Pinterest for your games? If you do, do you use it in a different way? What other online tools work best for you and your playstyle? I’d love to hear about it!

When I talk about The Twilight Throne as a political intrigue game, one of the first things people assume is that it’s a game of player characters backstabbing each other. “Political intrigue” is synonymous with “player versus player” for a lot of folks.

I understand why this is the case! I correct them and say that The Twilight Throne is a game that is built to embody aspects of post-colonial political intrigue, which is very different from the Western concepts.

I go into some detail in the BETA (coming soon!), but people are often struck by the concept of post-colonial politics and how that can be present in a game. So I’m starting a blog series that takes a look at different ways The Twilight Throne is built on my personal understanding of post-colonial politics. (While also making it fun to play because…I make games to have fun! We can have both post-colonial commentary that pushes against white supremacy while having a good time telling cool stories about fantasy politics!)

In this blog post I’ll focus on two ideas:

• Post-Colonial politics Are relationships

• Backstabbing PVP isn’t fun

Post-Colonial politics are relationships

In Western media we often see the tale of power is a solitary one: power is taken by the hungry who destroy everyone in their way. Perhaps this makes sense to cultures that prize individuality and personal freedoms/desires over most other things. In the Philippines (and arguably many Asian countries) our social connections are more important than anything else. Family, intimate relationships, social groups, these are the building blocks of society and the social power we wield.

The Philippines was colonized by more than one nation, but of note is the Spanish colonial rule that lasted for more than three centuries. Many Filipino families that were chosen by the Spanish elite, essentially becoming the Filipino elite, were granted some form of power from their colonial masters. Almost every single person in power today, be in commerce or politics, have familial roots that lead back to one of those granted power by the Spanish. This is power that has been cultivated and protected for generations, granted land and resources on a scale that those outside of these power structures can never achieve.

The Twilight Throne reflects this in that the Playbooks are not focused on the characters you play. Instead, the Playbooks are one of seven Houses of power. When a House is chosen, a player chooses from evocative pick lists to create three members of the House. A few essential mechanics, which grant more narrative power, has the PCs connect meaningfully to these family members.

In general, a powerful person who seeks out genuine relationships and nurtures them is one who stays in power. Sure, the Philippine politics still has its share of betrayals, but if it happens too often they’re quietly taken off the board. So to me, backstabbing doesn’t feel natural or helpful. But there’s also the fact that…

Backstabbing PVP isn’t fun in games

At least for me, it isn’t! YMMV of course. I’m also eerily good at games that feature a traitor (especially if I get the unlucky draw of having to betray everyone) and I really just hate the feeling!

This point is a simple one: I have yet to play a TTRPG where backstabbing was encouraged that I enjoyed. If I ever come across one, I’ll change my mind. The best experience I’ve had is Free League’s Alien, where a secret agenda can have you work at odds with the other PCs. This works well because of several factors, but of note is that the cinematic version of the game (which is when I enjoy the game the most) only lasts for 1-2 sessions! Regularly PVP that takes place in a campaign of 4+ sessions sounds exhausting to me.

After playing TTRPGs for many years, I know that I love the collaborative nature of the hobby. I do enjoy when emotional tensions arise and relationships get complicated, and The Twilight Throne naturally has these moments. But prolongedPVP always makes me feel unhappy and uncomfortable.

I do want to take the moment to highlight a game I haven’t had the chance to play, but shifts the paradigm of PVP in a lovely way. The Flower Court by jay dragon has truly mesmerizing mechanics and flow (and is played in a single session and works well remotely!) If you know of any other PVP games that you enjoy, do let me know!

EDIT: I have removed the comments feature from this blog post because a handful of people cannot stop themselves from “educating” me and “defending” the West. I enjoy talking to people but I will not be talked down to in my own space.

• Personal Player Vulnerabilities

• Constructive Interruption

• Timed Breaks

Personal Player Vulnerabilities

Ma Nishtana creates an intimate atmosphere. By the end of the game, it always feels like I have created a new family. The way the game does this is by having each mini-game begin with a short ritual action. This shines especially in remote play, where some alternative remote ritual actions have the players to share something personal. I almost cry at least once during these rituals (in a good way!).

Here’s one remote ritual action we engaged with: *Show the other players something old or that has been yours for a long time. Describe how it has a new use or meaning in your life.*

I showed an old photograph of my mom and me, from when I was an infant. In the picture there’s another one, a framed photo of my parents’ wedding day. During the ritual action, I shared the new meaning in this photo. I’ve been reflecting on how important it is that my mother sees me as her daughter, when exploring my gender identity means I no longer see myself as one.

By placing myself in this vulnerable space, it made it easier for me to be vulnerable with my character. I was not just Aaron, a sibling to Moses and Miriam determined to lead the Jews to rebel against the Pharaoh. I was Aaron who struggled to control their anger, who suffered with the burden of faith.

As we each shared more of ourselves, I felt myself growing closer to each player. It was easier to connect in a meaningful way as a persona, which made it easier to do so as characters.

I was so moved when Tony talked about how love is about giving the other person the space to change, to be able to shed old versions of yourself that are no longer true. It resonated so deeply, and it affected our game too. We saw several characters change, shedding old versions of themselves.

Constructive Interruption

Ma Nishtana has many wonderful built in story telling and safety tools, and my favorites is Wait, Wait, Wait!

The game describes the process as such:

If you wish to make something clear, disagree with a suggested course of action or scene frame, or share a relevant thought or new perspective, call out: “Wait Wait Wait!” and then do one of the following:

• Ask a question. Clarify something about gameplay, the scene, or anything else.

• Make a suggestion. Take issue with established narrative or add new elements.

If you do not feel comfortable calling out “Wait Wait Wait!” aloud, hold your hand up in the shape of a “W” until you get the table’s attention.  

As a Filipino, the idea of interrupting someone is incredibly difficult. Having a game that encourages me to do so, and to see the constructive and collaborative quality to it, is absolutely lovely. Every time I play Ma Nishtana I become more comfortable with saying “Wait, Wait, Wait!” (it really is fun!), but now I’m also more ready to do so in my other games.

Timed Breaks

Ma Nishtana’s approach to mini-games is wonderful. Even breaks are mini-games! There are a number of them placed all through out. I’ve been playing TTRPGs for almost twenty years, and I think it’s safe to say that there is a long tradition of playing for too long without enough meaningful breaks.

One of the things I love about playing with the online Gauntlet Community is how much breaks are built into our culture of play, and I wish I saw that in more playing spaces. Playing online is fun (and my preferred way!), but breaks are essential. I wish more games like Ma Nishtana had built in moments of respite.

Ma Nishtana even offers suggestions of what to do during the break!

STARTING THE BREAK

Anyone: “Let’s take a break.”

SOME ACTIONS

👭 / 🖥 *Take time away*

👭 / 🖥 *Everyone eats a meal*

👭 / 🖥 *Drink water*

👭 / 🖥 *Someone sings*

👭 / 🖥 *Listen to music*

👭 / 🖥 *Read an essay*

👭 / 🖥 *Reflect on connections to the present day*

ENDING THE BREAK

Anyone: “Now where were we?”

Ritualizing Play

There’s so much to say about the potential of rituals in the ttrpg space. But for now, I’d love you to imagine if these three examples were present in more of your games. What would that look and feel like? How would it shift player interactions and narrative flow? How would it change collaboration and creativity?