SykoPoetry has Moved to http://blog.joshed.info

Frisco

2009-11-01T11:54:00.001-07:00

Written while in the air somewhere over eastern California or western Arizona .

San Francisco
a beautiful city
too early to leave
feels like I Just got here
as I head home
it is clear
that I can help others
through my experience
education and compassion
abound around here.

JIS 2009

tough one

2008-12-21T23:54:00.000-07:00

I am falling for you.
It's happening so fast.
I try to go slow.
To remember the past.

I like to think that.
I'm smarter than this.
But love doesn't follow.
The same rules as logic.

I fall off my feet.
I'm swept off my heels.
I've obsessed with the thought.
How do I feel?

My major hope.
Is to give this to you.
And have you respond.
I love you too.
JIS 12/21/2008

lost again

2008-12-21T23:53:00.000-07:00

the way i feel
i just dont know
i want to die know
just take my soul
i cannot live now
i'm lost again
lost in you
until the end
i repeat the same lines
i use cliches
but i have fallen again
it feels so nice
you dont know what you're missing
until you try

does she or not?

2008-12-21T23:51:00.000-07:00

does she love me?
the way she giggles when i make stupid jokes

does she love me?
the way she looks at me

does she love me?
the way she stares into my eyes

does she hate me?
the way she avoids me

does she hate me?
the way she responds to them, but not me

does she hate me?
the way she ignores the deep stuff

does she love me?
the way she strokes my hair

does she love me?
the way she touches me

does she love me?
or does she hate me?

a muse

2008-12-21T23:50:00.000-07:00

sitting, waiting, yearning, thinking
emotion, devotion, creation, elation
loving, caring, giving, feeling

the process of life
it takes us there
we get on with it
we show how we care

i just want to be with her
i just want to hold her
i just want to be around her
i've got so much to share

i hold back
don't want to scare her
she thinks something
something is wrong
but i cannot scare her
so i let her go along

she has so much going on
i can't seem to stay involved
the only problem i'm having is
unrequited love.

TIME

2008-12-21T23:49:00.001-07:00

Is she looking for the same things as me?
will she? wont she? when will she get here?
I don't know what is wrong with me again
I don't know why i obsess over these things
I don't know where I'm going again
but as long as she's with me it'll be alright in the end
I miss her when she's not around, i want to know what's up
I lay here with a hole in me, i feel all used and torn
I cannot get enough of her, no matter what is done
why does it always go down the same way when i try,
I lose them from obsessing over, of all things, time.

JIS 12/21/08

Everybody

2008-12-09T01:35:00.002-07:00

Everybody's in their own head,
everybody's got their own thoughts,
everybody with their own ambitions and their own dreams
dont know what it means
don't know what i thought
but just when you get cought up
things change and open up
horizons brighter and smiles wider
options arranging, contemplating
we all flow along in the same sea
each with our own currents
fighting against them
until we crash into each other
some enjoy it, some prevail
some are scared and some are frail
why would we let life get old
when nothings new unless you make it yours
because the tale has been told.

JIS 12/09/08

Random Wrtings

2008-11-03T19:04:00.000-07:00

It's all a competition, it's all just a rouse, it's all set up so i always fucking lose.
It's a lost cause, there's no end in sight, it's going nowhere, just call it a night.
The path that i choose, dark and forgotten, untrusted; despised, but we all pay our dues.
Time waits for no man, no man controls me, i take my reigns back, take hold of my destiny.

holdin up, hold it in, ghostin it, rolled it up, smoked it up, all out, time to roll
worldwide underground, smokin with the kings, potluck, the hill, and the junkeez
down with the clown, with the krown, with em all, the junkeez army, and the bleste nation
waitin for the day that i blow up on these fools
prove to these mother fuckers who they've been holding down so long
time can tell you fear the, well, upcoming destruction of your morals, your plurals, you, your vowels, i grabbed em, stopped your bowels, upchuck your vocabulary, you got none at all, it's fuckin scary, empty brain without thought, who'da thunkit, like skunk hit, lost in thought, bought on sale at the walmart, you come at me? oh, no, don't start, please oh please, it's a bitch with a lease on life that's about to run out, ive been around the block too many times to fuck with a little schmuck who cannot enunciate or even pronounce a word worth their life, you act like you're grand, but it's just part of the master plan, to let you all burn while you think you have learned, the secret to life, but, all the while it all ends in strife
(ha ha ha ha ha)

lost

2006-06-09T05:29:00.000-07:00

i wasnt there for her
and now she is lost
i didnt hold her tight
and now i am lost

i'm breaking... away
i'm falling... apart
i'm screaming... inside
i'm dying... for you

i didn't cherish you
you found someone new
i didn't show you my love
so now you've had enough
i'm lost without you
broken inside
i'm dead without you
my soul can't survive
i can't live on (not this time)

it took all i had
now it's the end
she cares for him now
who cares if i'm dead

December 29, 2005 4:35 AM
JIS

pierced

2005-08-23T20:47:00.000-07:00

without her around
I feel empty at heart
without her at home
I could just fall apart
I miss her cute smile
her bluntness in words
to not have her here
I feel pierced by a sword
the fear that I have
building to tears
I hope that we last
loss is my fear

JIS 2005

free

2005-03-06T16:00:00.000-07:00

i let my heart out
that was my mistake
i left it all open
there for you to take
there for you to break

i lose it all now
where do i go?
why does this happen
why don't i regret it
why don't i forget it

so this is it
my one goodbye
the time we had
though very brief
has ended now
so you are free

sinking

2005-02-14T14:14:00.000-07:00

Sinking into your world
Don't want you to go
Just want you here with me
Just want you to know
This could be it
The search could be done
I hope it can last
I hope it's the one
Searching through life
For the right one to find
Be we never know
When we may go blind
When we're not looking
Is when we are caught
and it finds us offguard
It reminds of the scars
It guides us so far.

fineline

2005-02-10T01:51:00.000-07:00

the line is so fine
between obsession and sweetness
you can go out of your mind
trying to be sweet
come off obsessed
and you get thrown away
she gets stolen away
the moment's goin to stay

the time is so short
between coming and going
you lose yourself there
wanting to be free
we're all oppressed
and we go down today
we all drown today
we've all gone this way

the wait is so long
for her to decide
what she wants from life
thinking of the past
looking to the future
we are all done
what happened to the fun
just screw it all and run

2005 J.I.S.

really

2005-02-01T01:35:00.000-07:00

02/01/05 1:35AM

you sit here by side
i look into your eyes
you turn away from me
you run away from me

i sit here by myself
i cannot find my place
i'm lost within myself
im lost without your face

i had you here with me
bit i didnt see
the way we really are
the way we really are

i had it all for free
but i didn't see
the way it really was
the way it really was

i cant open up
feelings locked down
pieces inside me
thoughts im hiding

behind prison walls
guarding my heart
from being torn apart
from being worn down

stepped on
slept around on
abandoned again
left with nothing again
left alone again

fading

2005-01-30T22:59:00.000-07:00

lasting thoughts
about another
i cannot take it
i cannot smother
i'm feelin good
my mind is blown
as i head down
will it be known
stuck here waiting
for a signal fading
away with time

can't

2005-01-03T23:50:00.000-07:00

pushed aside
left behind
coulda tried
but it's too hard to find

left alone
sad and depressed
whine and moan
it's time to confess

wake to night
jumpstart the day
cause no fights
thats ok

i can't make your choices
i can't be your voice
but somehow
it'll work out
as it always does

i can't make you choose me
i can't make you do anything
but i can show my love for you
and hope it's returned
hope it's for sure

eventual meeting
not exactly confirmed
grasp what you want
is what i've learned

gimme

2004-12-21T17:25:00.000-07:00

gimme some weed
gimme some pills
get me high
gimme some thrills
nothing's enough
i always want more
when I run out
the fiend will take over
so gimme my shit
i hate being sober

mood

2004-12-21T17:20:00.000-07:00

the talking goes on
but never an end
complexes surround us
complexes have bound us
bound by our mind
bound by our thoughts
kill the ideas
that we are supreme
kill those ideas
that are merely a dream
constant collision
lile the waves of an ocean
never at rest
always in motion
any attempt at a fix
will never succeed
we are all sick
it's all in our breed
too intelligent
for our own good
sick mental humans
who've based all on mood

push

2004-12-21T17:08:00.000-07:00

push down & turn
look down and burn
get away and fight
try with all your might
every day it all repeats
stay and take a seat
take one tablet by mouth
take it all and run south
released from you
to find the truth
in the midst of the lies
and the various highs
a thought will remain
deep within your brain
a way to escape
a way to make a break
a chance to be free
one chance left for me
where we tried to believe
but just wanted to leave
its as simple as life
like a thief with a knife
locked up for his crimes
take his life, and his time
freedom just a thought
imprisonment we've bought
locked in our own lives
under rulers that thrive
caught up in the mess
that's created by the rest

poison

2004-12-21T04:57:00.000-07:00

poison your soul
cloud your mind
fill it whole
make yourself blind

find the remedy
there is none
come with me
ill show you one

stay down still
it's time to perform
pray for kills
she is forlorn

clear your mind
let it be free
what you'll find
isn't what you see

pump the bass
pass the herb
find my place
write these blurbs

i got it all
but i got none
i want to fall
forget it some

take me out
take me down
yell and shout
fight and frown

take these

2004-12-16T01:27:00.000-07:00

take these pills
they make you normal
make the kills
and write the journal

get the chills
its not today
take these pills
its the only way

control your thoughts
hold back the victim
take in the terror
that's comin' with him

split decision
open mind
with precision
we're going blind

keep the facade
hold it up high
worship your god
believe your lie.

forgotten

2004-10-23T22:04:00.000-07:00

another saturday home alone
no one calls, no one cares
no one answers their phone
they'll be there they say
but when the day comes
they're needed they're gone
they're off in their lives
they're off in their fun
I've been forgotten

waiting

2004-10-21T08:40:00.000-07:00

waiting to meet you
as you permeate my thoughts
waiting to hold you
an illusion at hand
i can almost see you
waiting for me, stagnant
but as i appear, you vanish
to forever elude me
ahead of me, anticipating
my every turn, plagued by uncertainty
can i find my way out
a way to sanity
a way to happiness
a way to you

life

2004-10-21T08:17:00.000-07:00

I can't find myself
because I've locked myself away
because I've taken a wrong turn
it's all gone, torched
ashes falling, smoke that rises
an escape of longing
torn from desire
without me it can flourish
living within memory
forever it seems
signals of thought
tied up in this game
essence of choice
fed up with the shame
some don't live at all
some live too much
life
so divine
so enriched
so sublime
life
it's our downfall

Rise Above v2

2004-09-09T00:54:00.000-07:00

lost inside yourself
looking for escape
lost inside this place
memories taking shape

folding your hand
in the game of life
a deck full of jokers
each one with a knife

taking time to be
to find yourself within
to figure out the answers
and why you're so willing

to let these people crush you
to let them take you down
to let them hold you hostage
and keep you on the ground

everything they say
the negative way they are
constantly eating
away at your heart

it'll kill you inside
take your pride from you
you'll never get it back
you'll never get the truth

you've got to rise above
just say you've had enough
it's all just testing you
feelings arresting you

just wanna get away
from all those things they say
but no one understands
things get outta hand

you've got to rise above
just say you've had enough
it's all just testing you
feelings arresting you