synopsis

The Truth

2010-08-22T22:59:00.004-04:00

The truth is my blogs aren't true. They were simple a way of my true intentions showing in some way. I did not change, I did not try, and most of the things I said were just to reassure the feelings I desired so they wouldn't completely be suppressed by my opposing actions.
But I have found a path that seems to be working. All I do is go with the flow of things. School, work, relationships. You just have to go with the flow of them all, instead of worrying about the future. I was so caught up in what I wanted to be and how I would get there that I didn't really focus on what I was. And to tell you the truth, I liked most aspects of me. The parts that I despised were the ones I viewed myself as. Unfortunately that led to failures and bouts of depression. But that's okay. things happen and they're supposed to.
Yes, I still plan for the future. But only financially really (you have to do that). Overall though, I never think about what I'm going to become or what I want to be because I'm pretty awesome how I am. The only problem I seem to be carrying is jealousy and anger management. And those are things that can be addressed.
So that's all. No more dramatic postings or fantasized realizations because I don't care anymore. I love my life. It's going quite good, and all I had to do was stop worrying about the future. It's going to come eventually, so just enjoy the now.

realization

2010-01-19T20:39:00.003-05:00

If you want things to be different, than perhaps the answer is to become different yourself.
-Norman Vincent Peale

I want, but never try.
For so long I have told myself I will be different, and I am, just not to the calliber I desire so desperately. The thing is, it takes years to mold a being like the one I long to be. The first step in this life changing journey is to accept who I am now, and I had completely skipped this crucial step. Time has been lost, but not wasted. So I start over. This time in a different mind set. I accept myself and all the positive things I have done up to this point, but if I truely wish things were different I must change. If I was fully satisfied with myself this realization would have never come to be. I'm just relieved it came sooner than later. Another pivital moment in my life. I'm one step closer to becoming the person I know I am.
I want, so I shall try.

-Erica Rae

ignorance

2010-01-17T20:37:00.002-05:00

Discussion is an exchange of knowledge; an argument an exchange of ignorance.
-Robert Quillen

I have found another flaw; my ignorance. I am not sure if ignorance is brought on by youth or by fear. I am not afraid to learn, but my youth tells me other wise. Why learn now? I have plenty of time to learn from my mistakes. This is true. I have many years to grow into myself and shape the person I know I am, but my lack of diligence is becoming less of a flaw and more of a hindrance. I am not only hurting myself, but those around me. This is something that stops today. I'm not saying that this post has erased every ounce of ignorance I have, but it has hidden it. I will always be ignorant in some way, but I will not let it show; there's no reason to. The effect of ignorance in a discussion does led to an argument, and arguments are mistakes (things I have been trying so hard not to let happen). My youth will no longer justify my wrong doings. I am ignorant by youth, which makes me ignorant by life. I have not lived long enough to bear the weight of absent knowledge, but today I have changed; at least controlled the anger fueled trained named Ignorance.

-Erica Rae

advice

2010-01-13T10:34:00.005-05:00

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.
-Erica Jong

This is quite true. The majority of the time I ask for advice, I already know the answer. I'm just hoping that whoever I'm asking will re-enforce my thought. I, as well as people in general, need to spend more time for myself and less time worrying about the "advice" of others. What makes them any more right than me? Nothing. Most of the time it's just the sound of another's voice that is most appealing.

-Erica Rae

simplicity

2010-01-13T10:02:00.006-05:00

If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough.
-Albert Einstein

I had this problem for many years. I always wanted to sound intelligent or try to fit in with others conversations, when in reality, I sounded completely ignorant and lost respect from those who did not know it's meaning. I have changed though. Mo more ignorant interjections or outlandish stories, I simply observe. If however, there is something I could add to a conversation, then by all means I will.

The ability to look at one through an outside perspective is a brilliant quality to have. I do not have this gift; I just have memories. My memories are my mirrors, and my outside perspective. That is why I'm taking the time to look through them and change some false aspects in my life.

So another quote for my brain to nurture. Maybe this time around I'll gain respect from the respected; and use the extra time to have a concrete understanding of the things I love.

No more wasting time over others. As selfish as it sounds, it's all about me now.

-Erica Rae

insanity

2010-01-09T21:49:00.001-05:00

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
-Albert Einstein

Exactly. I'm no less insane than a schizophrenic if I wake up everyday and do the same thing, with no variant outcome... that would be insanity. Everyday is another day for improvement. I need to learn something new or try new things or live a stationary life. So today starts something new.

-Erica Rae

my synopsis

2010-01-09T21:42:00.000-05:00

I am a person who has many views on many things with no defined answer to any of them. Studying quotes might enlighten me. My blog is just a way for me to hear myself think; those are free to input to any of my thoughts.

-Erica Rae