I received a chunk of change from the college this semester, money left over from my grants and my loan. I decided I would use some of this to put together a new computer for myself, as my current one, while nice, is showing its age - particularly with newer games. I thought that upgrading my video card would fix matters, but while it did help, things still chug along occasionally. Bioshock is playable, as is Company of Heroes; but in both, the framerate dives frequently. I can’t play Call of Duty 4 at all, which I’d like to give a go.

So, a new computer it was to be. I spent a week or so adding things to my wishlist at Newegg, removing things, shuffling things, trying to find the best deal for a good gaming computer. I finally decided I had it all laid out as I wanted - an AMD dual core 5400+ processor, a PNY GeForce 8800GT video card, 2GB of RAM. Reading reviews at Newegg, it was clear such a machine would run Bioshock and my other games amazingly well.

I submitted my order Tuesday. In Newegg fashion, my stuff was shipped out that day. I dutifully refreshed the tracking page frequently, obsessing over the current location of my techno goodies only as a true geek could. This morning, the tracking information showed what I’d been wanting to see: out for delivery.

Things took a turn for the worse, however. No, the UPS driver wasn’t in an accident, thank goodness; no, what happened was, I discovered a flaw in my build. While perusing further reviews for the processor I’d bought, I saw something that threw fear into my heart: “like the fact that it doesn’t come with any heat sink or fan, so I can buy the one I want.”

No heat sink or fan? No heat sink or fan? But I thought it had one! It’s retail, just like the last AMD processor I bought, and that one came with a heat sink and fan!

Alas, no; I checked the specifications for the processor, and lo’ and behold, at the bottom of the page: no heat sink and fan. For those who aren’t geeks, this is bad. Why? Because without a heat sink and fan for your processor, you can’t even turn the computer on - you’d burn the processor up in a matter of seconds.

After getting off work, I called around town, checking with all of the local computer shops for a heat sink and fan combo. None of the shops had any. Shortly after I gave up calling around town, I ordered one from Newegg. Shortly after that, my computer parts showed up: a new case, power supply, motherboard, processor, memory, massive hard drive, and awesome video card. All good for absolutely nothing until my heat sink and fan arrive, which won’t be until at least Monday.

I went ahead and put it all together tonight, so now the new (unusable) computer tower is sitting my room. Unlit. Unpowered. Dead, even. Fresh electronic parts, all hooked up to each other, ready to go - and I can’t turn it on.

Geek agony, lemme’ tell ya’. Next time, I’ll double check such things. Until then, maybe I could set it up in our big chest freezer…

I dreamt this morning^[1] that I was at a massive shopping area; it seemed like it was a flea market or some such, but it was in something akin to a warehouse; very tall ceilings. We were at a used book place, except rather than browsing the shelves, you stood in line, and people “took your order”, as it were. The counter was piled with books, so while waiting, I picked up a book with a blue cover, and, lo’ and behold! It was a copy of Russian without Toil, printed in the 70s. Having the German version of the book, I obviously wanted (but didn’t need) the corresponding English version. They also only wanted $1.16 for it. No, I don’t know why it was a dollar and sixteen cents in my dream.

I’m not sure why we were at a flea market-ish place without any cash, but we were. I asked them if they took debit or credit, and the lady said yes. So, I reached to my back pocket, only to discover that I didn’t have a back pocket for my wallet, as I was wearing my boxers. Okay, then! I’m not sure what exactly happened, but in the next part of my dream, I found myself at home with the book.

By the time I got home, however, the title had changed - literally. When I looked at the cover of the book, it was for a completely different language. In my dream, it was something like “Yeradov ohne Mühe”; I remember not knowing what language that was, so I googled it, and discovered on Wikipedia that it was the Russian word for Hungarian.^[2] And yes, the base language of the book had morphed as well - from English to German. Fiddlesticks, the base being English was why I wanted it to begin with! I recall being a bit bummed that it had changed to Hungarian, but decided that I’d probably want to have a go at it later, so it joined all of my other books on the shelf.

I think such a dream is worth at least 50 Geekery points. Maybe 75.

1. I tend to only remember dreams that I have after I’ve woken up in the morning, and then fallen back to sleep. I’ve no idea why. Does anyone else have this?
2. Not really, of course - that would be Венгерский язык.

Do you remember how you developed a love for reading?

No, not really. Basically, as far back as my memory goes, I remember reading. As I’ve gotten older, the obsession love has grown. The idea of not reading baffles me.

What are some books you read as a child?

I recall reading lots and lots of those horrible Goosebump books by R. L. Stein. They were all pretty much the same, and the writing was truly terrible. I remember I read one of my mom’s Mary Higgins Clark books when I was 8 or 9, and only then realized how very pathetic Goosebump books were. But hey, they got a lot of kids reading, so…

What is your favourite genre?

What, I have to choose one? History, then. But fantasy and science fiction come in at a close second and third. And, generally, I like to cast my net wide, and see what I catch. While I do stay away from romance novels, if it has words on a printed page, I’ll usually read it.

Do you have a favourite novel?

Lord of the Rings, as it ended up shaping my character a great deal. It led to my interest in history, languages, as well as (obviously) the fantasy genre.

Where do you usually read?

Anywhere and everywhere. Regardless of where I am, I typically have a book on hand. I read in bed, sitting around the house, in classrooms before my classes start, at the library reference desk where I work, waiting in line at the post office… Like I said, just about anywhere.

When do you usually read?

Pretty much anytime I can. I don’t really have any set times for when I read, but I do have a few time slots that are fairly regular: before bed, and before classes. I’m quite weird about making sure I’m early for classes, often half an hour or so early; I typically use that time to read.

Do you usually have more than one book you are reading at a time?

Not “usually”, but always. I’ve accepted that I’m incapable of sticking to one book at a time. This leads to it taking me months to finish some books, but that’s fine by me. If someone offers me prize money for getting through books more quickly, I’ll consider changing my reading habits. Until then: the more the merrier, I say.

Do you read non-fiction in a different way or place than you read fiction?

I don’t read it in a different place, but I do read it a bit differently. With fiction books, I can lay them down at any time, knowing that I can pick it up hours or days later, and be able to pick up the thread quickly. I’m unable to do this with a lot of my non-fiction books, particularly history. There’s just too many strands, names, dates, concepts etc. in the text for me to be able to stop mid-paragraph. When reading non-fiction (especially history), I really prefer to stop at breaks in the text which the author has inserted.

I also will occasionally take notes while reading non-fiction, something I don’t do very often at all with fiction.

Do you buy most of the books you read, or borrow them, or check them out of the library?

A mix of the first, last, and one other path: book mooching. I’ll buy books or mooch them, but usually only after I’ve checked them out from the library to see if I really want my own copy. I’d say at this point in my life, the balance is tipping towards “library”; by using OhioLINK through my school, I can get pretty much whatever I want for free. Throw in 4 renewals, and I can keep books for months on end if I want.

Do you keep most of the books you buy? If not, what do you do with them?

Most of them, yes. Due to how I go about deciding on what books I’m going to purchase, I don’t really end up owning a lot of books that I don’t want. Those that do fit that description, though, end up going to Bookmooch.

If you have children, what are some of the favorite books you have shared with them? Were they some of the same ones you read as a child?

Due to his interests, most of the books I’ve read to my son have involved bulldozers, tractors, and other such things. I still have a few books from my childhood, though, that I read to him: one is a compilation of 3 stories: 1 about firemen, 1 about cars and other vehicles, and Scruffy the Tugboat. (Yes, the first two have titles, I just can’t remember them off the top of my head.)

He’s also fallen in love with a book I got for him from the library, Take Care, Good Knight.

What are you reading now?

• The Third Reich in Power by Richard J. Evans
• The Middle Ages by Morris Bishop
• Europe in the Central Middle Ages, 962-1154 by Christopher Brooke
• A bunch of foreign language books - Assimil’s French with Ease, Assimil’s Russisch ohne Mühe (Russian without Toil in German), New Penguin Russian Course
• The Human Mosaic: A Thematic Introduction to Cultural Geography (for a class)
• A compilation of literature from the beginning of history to the Renaissance period (also for a class)

Do you keep a “To Be Read” list?

Nope, not in any concrete form. I’ve tried to keep them in the past, but they just grew to be monstrous in size, and ultimately unhelpful. I decide I’m going to read when I’m reading to start something new.

What’s next to be read?

I don’t know. I’m not ready to start something new yet.

What books would you like to reread?

Most of my history books; Lord of the Rings, which I reread every few years. Other than Lord of the Rings, though, it probably won’t happen. I tend to not reread many things, as there are too many books that I want to read that I’ve not yet read.

Who are your favourite authors?

Tolkien; Terry Pratchett; Iain Banks; Antony Beevor; Stephen King.

One was from a guy who apparently thinks that those of us at the reference desk are omniscient. He walked up to me and said, “Hey man, I need the book for my English class.” I looked at him and waited for some elaboration, such as what class he was in, or perhaps even the title of the book. He just stared at me. “Can you get that for me?” he asks. “Well, I need to know the title of the book to look for it. Do you have that?” “Well, um.. no, hang on. It’s for class.. uh, the intro English class, yeah.” “I’m sorry, we don’t keep a list of all of the textbooks that professors use.” More staring. “So you can’t get me the book?” “Not without the title, no.”

At this point he sighed, and started digging through his backpack. A few moments later, out came a crumpled piece of paper - success! It was a syllabus. He reeled off the course title and course number to me. I repeated the fact that we don’t keep a list of textbooks in use for each class. More staring… “Um, it says on here, something about it.. he said it was supposed to be like.. on hold.. or something.” “Ohh, okay. You mean it’s supposed to be on reserve?” “Yeah, that’s it. How do I get it?” “Come over here to circulation with me, they can get it for you.”

I walked him over and asked him who the professor was. After a bit more staring, he gave it to me, which I then passed along to the circulation person. They got the book off the shelf for him, and informed him that it could only be used in the library. At that point, he said he didn’t want it, and left. Sigh…

The second fellow wasn’t “difficult”, just humorous. He needed some help finding a book on the shelf, which I was glad to help him with. He acted, however, like I was doing him a wonderful favor - he kept thanking me over and over. And then he thanked me some more, and apologized for being such a bother. I told him to relax, that it wasn’t a big deal at all - most people don’t understand the LC system when they first come to the school, because they’re used to the Dewey decimal system. I also told him that it was my job, after all, to help him. He just kept saying he was sorry, and thanking me.

As we were walking back upstairs, he said, “So, you’re a, um, um.. you’re a… senior?” The way he said “senior” made it sound as if he was addressing some ancient god from Rome or something. I laughed and told him I was a junior. He said “Oh, okay, well thank you again, so much!” - and then he shook my hand. He shook my hand for helping him find a book. It was really quite peculiar, but it made me smile nonetheless. The guy certainly needed to relax a bit, and to stop treating upper classmen like gods, but it made me happy that he was genuinely appreciative of my help. Would you believe that we get a lot of people that ask for help, and then show no appreciation whatsoever? Shocking, I know…

No S

Switching from my former eating habits to No S led to their being many changes for me. Previously, I ate snacks (a lot); I ate sweets (far too many); and I often had seconds. Which would, of course, probably have a lot to do with why I’m currently fat (but shrinking, thank the lords of Kobol!) Cutting out all of those all at once was a bit of a ride the first few days, but after that, things smoothed out drastically.

On the first couple of days on the system, I considered chewing on my arm between lunch and dinner; when dinner time came around, I felt rather ravenous, ready to eat the proverbial horse. After those first few days though, the extreme hunger between lunch and dinner started to subside. Now, when dinner arrives, I’m hungry (as I should be), but not ready to leap into the bowl of mashed potatoes or steal the entire pan of baked chicken, retreating to my room like some overgrown (but hopefully still more attractive) gremlin.

Removing snacks from my weekday eating habits entirely has proven to be quite revealing; now that I’m not snacking all the time, I can see just how much I was snacking. As Reinhard (the creator of the system) points out on one of his websites, “No S makes excess seem excessive.” It’s also proven interesting to see what I want to snack on during S days, when I’m allowed to. Most of the crap I nibbled on all the time before - crackers, bits of cheese, rice cakes - just doesn’t seem appealing. It would seem that throwing such things down the hatch all the time was just a habit; now that the habit’s gone, I don’t really care about the foods. This goes for many of the sweets that I “loved” before; when I can eat them on S days now, I generally don’t want to. I prefer my treats on S days to be real treats, not some yucky little white powdered donut.

It’s also interesting how sticking to a rigid but simple plan has altered how I think. When someone offers me something to eat when it’s not a mealtime, my brain immediately throws out: well, duh, of course not - it’s not a mealtime! The same goes for when there’s dessert available after dinner. I don’t have to make any choices about it, because my habit has already done so for me: if it’s a weekday, the answer is no, good sir; move along from that cake. On to…

Shovelglove

Well, I think the fact that I stuck with this every weekday for three weeks says a lot on its own, but to elaborate:

Shovelglove is fast, it’s fun, and, believe it or not, effective. Having struggled with my weight for years now, I’ve messed around with a lot of different exercise programs, and the vast majority of them were boring and unenjoyable. For a lot of them, I’d even go so far as to say that they sucked. They were things that would have made me lose weight, certainly, but they were things that I wouldn’t do consistently. Something can be 100% effective, but if you don’t do it, it’s 0% effective.

I’ve stuck with shovelglove because it’s extremely enjoyable, oddly so; because it’s helping me lose weight (along with No S); and because in comparison to what I’ve tried before - lifting weights for nearly an hour per session - it takes up practically none of my time. That, and as I mentioned before, shovelglove caresses my inner geek. It’s exercise and roleplaying; I get to pretend I’m a farmer, or a chain-gang worker, or a guy on a steamship stoking the oven, or an elf (a very hefty one!), smiting an orc. I know, that sounds absurd. It is absurd. But I challenge you: get a sledgehammer and a sweater, and do shovelglove for a week. If you go the whole week without imagining you’re doing something like the above, well… I can’t help you. Are you human?

Results

Of course, doing these two systems would be pointless if they weren’t helping me in some way, but they are, as I mentioned above. So, how much weight have I lost? It’s hard to say, honestly. The scales at first went down a bit, and then they went up. At that point, I decided that obsessively checking the scales would be pointless. Doing shovelglove, I know for a fact that I’m packing on muscle; my arms are more muscular than they’ve ever been, even compared to when I was doing a lot of heavy weight lifting. Muscle weighing pretty much the same as fat, but being much denser, it’s hard for me to say how much weight I’ve “lost.”

So let’s talk slightly more practical results. Doing a simple “how snug are these” test with my pants, I’ve lost at least an inch, perhaps two, from my waist. One pair of shorts I wore a few days ago kept slipping down, practically falling off of me. I was able to slide them off without unfastening anything. For me, this was a bit like finding a hidden 6th toe on my foot - I don’t recall the last time I had trouble with my pants slipping. My arms are more muscular and much more toned, as are my legs (I’ve been doing Hindu squats as part of my shovelglove routine). All in all, I feel better all around, and I’m less, well, round. I’ve still got lots of roundness to me, trust me, but some of it’s gone. For a mere 3 weeks, these are results I can’t really argue with.

As a final note, I’ve chuckled a bit at the responses I’ve gotten from family members when I tell them what I’m doing for exercise. “You’re doing.. what? With a sledgehammer?” They smile and nod, as if saying: well, isn’t that nice, you’ve gone completely insane, and such an exercise routine will never work.

Except it is working. The proof is in the pudding, as they say, or in my arms, I suppose. The proof, not the pudding; it’s a Monday, and so I obviously can’t have pudding today!

As opposed to the vast quantities of unreadable non-fiction they have available… ? Yes, yes, do check out our readable non-fiction, it’s right over there. That stuff way back in the back? Utterly unreadable. Don’t even bother looking at it.

1. In German, they’ve figured out how to avoid saying “handy cellphone.” How? They call a cellphone a “Handy”. “Gib’ mir mein Handy!” [Give me my cellphone!] Awful, isn’t it?

Don’t get me wrong - it’s a good movie. I enjoyed seeing it. But for a time, it was #1 on IMDb’s Top 250 list. That’s just cooky. The Dark Knight better than Schindler’s List? Than Star Wars? I don’t think so. The Dark Knight has since slipped to the #3 spot, which I still think is way too good of a spot for it. It was a good movie, but I wouldn’t put it in the top 10 at all. I felt that it dragged on a bit too long, or perhaps a lot too long. If it had been 45 minutes shorter, I would’ve liked it more, I think; as it was, I kept thinking, “okay, here’s the big action sequence that’ll wrap it up.” And then that sequence would end, and the movie just kept going.

Despite my complaints, I still liked it. Some good points:

• One thing I heard from folks was that Heath Ledger’s Joker was excellent; and on that point, I’ll agree. I liked his psychotic killer version of the Joker a lot more than the classic look. I’d have to rewatch the original Batman movie to refresh my memory of Nicholson’s portrayal, but I think I’d end up liking Ledger’s more.
• A few too many of them, but the action sequences were excellent. I particularly liked the car / truck / armored car chase scene.
• The special effects in general. Two-Face was quite impressive, among many other things.

Do see the movie, whether it’s in theaters or on DVD. Just don’t pay as much attention as the hype as I did.

1. I turned 24 on the 11th. One more year and I’ll be a quarter of a century old!

All was not lost, however. I snapped a couple pictures with my cell phone which I found rather funny. First up, a “sign” (if you can call it that) posted on one of the buildings:

How exactly does one wash their hands throughly? Also, considering it’s misspelled twice, it’s probably not a typo. Oops.

The second picture:

Okay, perhaps not the best placement of the cage-lining cardboard… Poor little bunnies.

Shovelglove

I discovered shovelgloving a few weeks ago, but only glanced at the site; it seemed rather weird, and I wasn’t sure how I felt about it. Yesterday, however, I rediscovered it via my daily consumption of feeds, and decided to read the whole page (something I don’t do much these days on the internet, I admit). If you’d rather not do that, in a nutshell: shovelgloving is wrapping an old sweater around the head of a sledgehammer, and then doing basic movements with your new “shovelglove” - shoveling, chopping wood, churning butter, smiting the orc (I’m serious). See, I said it was weird, and I meant it. But its weirdness gives it an awful lot of charm. How could anyone not pay some attention to an exercise program that has an exercise called “smiting the orc”?

Despite its weirdness, Reinhard, the quirky librarian in charge of the site, convinced me to give it a go. I like that shovelgloving makes exercise such a simple thing, rather than charting it all out - this exercise for that muscle, that exercise for this muscle. Sure, there’s a table of movements, but they’re all pretty logical, with the names (mostly) describing the action very well. I understand “tuck bales” and “drive fence posts” far better than I understand “lat extension to the rear” and “triceps kickback”… what do those things mean?

In regards to how often and how much you’re supposed to shovelglove, it’s dead simple: Monday through Friday, 14 minutes a day - no more, no less. You rest on the weekend. Reinhard has an interesting psychological explanation as to why he chose 14 minutes - it’s not a typical time block, so it doesn’t really register with a lot of people. 14 minutes? Sure, I can spare that, that’s nothing. But half an hour? That’s half an hour. I could watch a TV show during that!

I put in my first 14 minutes of shovelgloving yesterday evening, and it was a surprisingly hard workout. But it was also a hell of a lot of fun - in a quite weird way. I just hope the neighbors didn’t see me.

No S Diet

The No S diet is perhaps even simpler than shovelgloving. Here’s the diet:

• No Snacks
• No Sweets
• No Seconds

Except (sometimes) on days that start with “S”.

That’s it. That’s the whole thing. No calorie counting, no “you can’t eat that!”; just 3 meals a day, without constantly visiting the kitchen for snacks all day. And while I suppose things could change in the future, I’d say that at least during my lifetime, there will always be 2 days in the week which begin with “S”, so when I want some cookies or cake or whatever, I’ll know right when I can have them.

When I read about this diet, which I discovered via the shovelglove.com site, I thought: this is it. This is the best diet idea I’ve ever seen (and I’ve looked at my fair share of them, lemme’ tell ya’.) Why? Because it’s doable. I could see myself doing this for the rest of my life, because it’s simple, and it’s not going to feel like I’m trying to become an ascetic. I’ve tried counting calories before, and I discovered that it - ahem, sucks. Sure, I did it for a few weeks. And then I started to hate that little red book. Hate it. It made every meal a math assignment, and I think I’ve mentioned it in the past: I hate math! I’ve also tried diets that simply cut off certain foods, and that sucks even more than calorie counting. I like cookies, thank you very much.

I also think it’s going to be a great fit for me, because I know I’m awful about snacking; it’s probably the #1 reason why I’m fat (with a close #2 being that during most of my life, when it comes to physical exercise, I’ve been a lazy bastard - hey, I’m going for honesty here). Bored? Hit the kitchen. In the kitchen for a glass of water? Hey, grab a snack - it’s just one or two bites of food, right? Right, but those bites add up, chum. Read the nosdiet.com page for more about this, because Reinhard’s got some really good info about snacking and why we all should probably quit doing it so damn much. And for the record, no, I’m not being paid to write this. I’ve not even spoken to the guy.

I realize I’ve only done shovelgloving and No S dieting one day, but I must say - that one day felt fine. It didn’t feel like a chore that I had to make myself do, even the exercise - which I can’t say about many other exercises I’ve done. (I still love punching bag workouts, though!) I’m going to continue to give both a go, and if in a few weeks I’m still feeling fine with both, they may just become life habits.

(Sidenote: I read that apparently, many people respond to the No S diet and shovelgloving as I have - very enthusiastically. And then they discover that it’s not ultra easy all of the time, and they start to despair a bit. So I’m keeping that in mind - the diet in particular is a big change for me, and I’m going to have to be diligent. Here’s my daily calendar for shovegloving and nosdiet; if you see a red square, feel free to say “get back on track!” via the comments here.)

We had our landline through a place called Packet 8, a VOIP / internet telephony place that one of my uncles tipped us off to. Until his recommendation, we’d never heard of them, and truth be told, I’ve still never seen anything about them in any form, online or off. Despite the fact that I’d never heard of them (something which always gives me a bit of hesitation when it comes to service places), they ended up being quite excellent. $30 per month for unlimited calling anywhere in the country^[1] - not bad at all. And I never had to call them to say “hey, something is broken” - we hooked up their converter box, plugged it into our phone, and forgot about it.

They were able to impress me once more yesterday when we called to cancel our service - they didn’t harass us to stay. They simply asked us why we were cancelling and we answered with the truth. The lady said, “Okay, that’s fine”, and went about cancelling our account. I recall when we cancelled our service with Verizon to switch to Packet 8, the Verizon rep. practically offered us his first born to get us to stay, long after we’d made it clear we were switching.

So, kudos, Packet 8. You guys rock, and if we ever have need of a landline again, we’ll be in touch.

1. I believe it also included unlimited calling to Canada as well, but I’m not sure - the one good friend I have in Canada, I talk to online.