SystemsThinker.com Blog

Publicizing The Threat of Personality Disorders Among Those in Positions of Power

SystemsThinker — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 15:30:57 +0000

As some of you may know, I often rail about the abundance of sociopaths and people with Narcissistic or Borderline Personality Disorder in positions of power in our culture. There has been ample evidence of this problem in the news recently. Yet rarely do analyses of these cases go beyond charges of corruption to asking the crucial question of whether they involve an actual psychological disorder.

In the wake of the recent scandal involving Detroit’s ex-mayor Kwame Kilpatrick, one of our major local papers finally directly raised this issue in an article entitled “Politics & personality: Psychologists weigh in on behaviors of the former Detroit mayor”.

But, in general, coverage of this issue, so central to the destructiveness of our times, is dangerously and tellingly lacking. (more…)

Adam Monroe: Another Web 2.0 Talent Promotion Success Story

SystemsThinker — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 02:19:11 +0000

One day last December, I was on YouTube, checking out videos of songs by Tool and A Perfect Circle, two of the fantastic bands fronted by singer Maynard James Keenan. At one point, as I was watching a performance of “3 Libras”, perhaps my favorite of the many great songs by these bands, YouTube’s related recommendations feature suggested several videos of various artists performing cover versions of the song.

In the past, while watching videos of original bands performing songs I enjoyed, YouTube’s related videos feature had introduced me, through cover versions, to the wonderful Meghan Julius and Kiersten Holine. This time, after listening to a couple of other cover versions of “3 Libras”, I was introduced to an amazing piano and vocal version of the song by the incredible Adam Monroe. (more…)

Josiah Leming: Brilliant, Haunting Music & Web 2.0 Drive American Idol Castoff’s Prototypical Success Story

SystemsThinker — Mon, 19 May 2008 14:30:53 +0000

Another Season of Inspiration on American Idol

Two years ago, I wrote an essay called “How American Idol Changed My Life”. I realized as I wrote it that some who see me as a person focused on more profound issues might find my enjoyment of an iconic pop culture talent show to be seriously out of character. However, there was no denying the impact on me of the show and especially of particular contestants from the show.

As I described in that essay, American Idol has the power to stimulate crucial thought and dialogue about the importance and optimal methods of promoting talent and authenticity in a hierarchical culture that often suppresses people’s true selves. These are themes I also explored in my piece called “The Joy and Power of Discovering True Selves”.

This season has been no exception. I’ve watched every minute of the show this year and it has already provided more than one powerful example of a genuine talent beginning to truly blossom. It was during the second round of auditions in Hollywood early in the season that I was first blown away by the gifts of one of this year’s performers, David Archuleta. Watching him sing Bryan Adams’ “Heaven” gave me chills and I instantly felt that this was one of the best contestants the show has ever seen, a feeling that I still maintain, having watched him progress through the season.

However, it is another contestant - one who didn’t even make it past the Hollywood auditions and into the Top 24 - that I want to talk about in this piece.

A Memorable Audition

It was even earlier in the season, during the initial auditions in Atlanta, that America first met Josiah Leming. Josiah was a kid with a very moving backstory. He was an 18 year-old high school dropout from Morristown, Tennessee, who, unbeknownst to his family, who believed he was staying with friends, had been living in his car for the last year as he traveled around the country playing shows. In early interviews, he conveyed a willingness to sacrifice to achieve his dreams, declaring that he felt right at home living in his car. But then moments later, Josiah first displayed his deep vulnerability as he tearfully described how lonely and scary life on the road can be.
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Borderline Personality Disorder Awareness Month: Discussing, Understanding & Publicizing an Under-Recognized Epidemic

SystemsThinker — Mon, 05 May 2008 14:30:26 +0000

The End of a Borderline-Riddled Relationship

As described in my last blog post, “Choosing Intimate Partners: To Repeat or Not to Repeat?” I was recently involved in a challenging relationship that followed a familiar course. It began intensely, inspiring great hope for mutual healing and joy. However, gradually patterns emerged that I recognized from experience as typical of relationships involving a Borderline dynamic.

Because of my familiarity with conflicting relationship theories, I felt torn on how best to respond to these worrisome signs. Parts of me believed that the only healthy option was to disengage from the relationship - or more precisely, to resign myself to the growing awareness that my partner had already, for the most part, disengaged. Yet, other parts of me still held out hope that, in the manner of Imago Relationship Therapy, we could become more conscious of the archetypal dynamics involved, agree to reconcile, salvage the fragile but invaluable opportunity and harness the relationship’s conflicted energy toward growth.

However, shortly after writing that post, it came to my attention that the situation had long been, unbeknownst to me, even more complicated and dysfunctional than I had imagined. I had been deceived and misled in ways that, combined with many signs from throughout the course of the relationship, pointed rather convincingly to the conclusion that yet another potentially wonderful and nurturing partnership had been sabotaged by the tragic presence of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).

Revealing Conversations About an Under-Recognized Epidemic

In the painful aftermath of this realization, I spoke with many people who had experienced the shattering fallout of a relationship with someone suffering from BPD. The content of these conversations reinforced my confidence regarding my assessment of this relationship and refocused me yet again on the crucial role that this disorder plays in so many of our lives. The sheer numbers of people who shared their stories with me reinforced how prevalent BPD really is (I believe that it is far more widespread than typical estimates because those with BPD often fail to seek or remain in treatment and because they are often misdiagnosed, for example as Bipolar, due to clinician error, as well as to exploit more generous insurance coverage). Their heartwrenching tales dramatized the tremendous, and statistically disproportionate, emotional toll that the disorder takes on our society by way of all of us directly and indirectly affected by it.

I have gone so far as to say that Borderline, along with perhaps Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), is the core disorder of our culture. In this assessment I seem to be in agreement with the eminent pioneer in the treatment of Personality Disorders, James F. Masterson, M.D., whose book, Search For The Real Self, focuses almost exclusively on these two disorders and, in its subtitle, identifies them as “The Personality Disorders Of Our Age.” I am also in agreement with Jerold J. Kreisman, M.D., author of I Hate You, Don’t Leave Me, who has declared ours “the Borderline society.” And yet, in far too many cases BPD - and NPD for that matter - remain shockingly unrecognized. (more…)

Choosing Intimate Partners: To Repeat or Not to Repeat?

SystemsThinker — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 14:30:49 +0000

Gaining Understanding of A Painful Relationship Pattern

Over the years, I’ve experienced a clear pattern in my romantic relationships, one that has been among the most painful and difficult aspects of my life. Time and again, these relationships have begun with the development of an extreme, intense attraction and chemistry between me and a particular woman. A seemingly very strong attachment builds quickly and we both become inspired by the idea that we may have finally found someone who can help us feel wonderful about ourselves and bring a newfound excitement into our lives.

However, inevitably, this inspired state soon changes drastically. The situation turns unstable as the woman begins to become uncertain, scared or ambivalent and starts to distance from the relationship. Seeing my hopes for a lasting intimate connection threatening to disappear yet again, I tend to become more needy and attached, which only serves to push her away further in a vicious cycle. In the end, the woman eventually runs completely from the relationship, leaving me feeling invisible, abandoned, disposable and very hurt.

After a number of these painful abandonments over the years, I began to seek greater understanding of why the pattern played out over and over and what could be done about it. In the wake of one such relationship with a woman who told me that she had Borderline Personality tendencies, I looked deeper into that subject, reading I Hate You, Don’t Leave Me and other related books about Borderline Personality Disorder. After another such relationship, I followed my instinct that there was an addictive quality to these interactions, and read several books about addictive relationships including Facing Love Addiction, How to Break Your Addiction to a Person (which is the book that then led me to study Inner Child Healing and its role in the pattern), and Finally Getting it Right. After another relationship, I got into therapy which helped me understand even more about how my development had led me to play out this pattern. And yet another such relationship led me to find Harville Hendrix’s Imago Relationship Therapy and its concepts when I read Keeping the Love You Find: A Guide for Singles. I also later went on to read the Imago book for those already in relationships, Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples.

The Repetition Compulsion and Its Role in Intimate Relationships

While all of these books gave me different perspectives and angles on why this pattern kept playing out in my relationships, there was one thing that they all agreed and focused on in one way or another - the fact that there definitely is a well-documented tendency to repeat difficult and painful patterns from our past in our present lives. While not all of these sources named this concept precisely, many of them did, pointing out that it is called the repetition compulsion. This repetition compulsion was first formally named by Sigmund Freud, and while it can be seen in many areas of our lives, almost all of the sources I’ve read agree that it often has its deepest, most powerful impact within our romantic relationships.

All of these books explained, in their own ways, that we tend to unconsciously - seemingly magically - attract and develop the strongest chemistry with people who trigger our deepest issues and wounds from childhood, giving us the opportunity to play out and resolve what Gestalt Therapy founder Fritz Perls and Harville Hendrix have called our “unfinished business.” My own life and relationships - as well as those of many people I have known and worked with - have provided ample and unavoidable evidence to me of the existence of the repetition compulsion, especially for those with significant past wounds, and especially in the area of romantic relationships.

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Ralph Nader Running Mate, Matt Gonzalez, to Shine a Spotlight on Election Reform

SystemsThinker — Sat, 01 Mar 2008 00:07:37 +0000

In my previous post, I voiced my longstanding frustration with Ralph Nader for continuing to run for president within a plurality election system while simultaneously failing to focus his campaign on raising awareness of and advocating reforms of that system that would eliminate the very possibility of the “spoiler” role of which he is so often accused.

Great news. It appears that Nader’s recently-announced 2008 running mate, Matt Gonzalez, has decided to make these issues a priority. In fact, Gonzalez says it is a major reason he decided to accept the position. (more…)

The Key Issue Suspiciously Missing from Ralph Nader’s “Table”

SystemsThinker — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 16:48:35 +0000

Yesterday, Ralph Nader announced that he will once again run for president. In explaining his reasons for running, he gave his usual litany of stances on a number of issues with which, in great part, I can’t argue. He summarizes these positions in this table on the Issues section of his campaign website detailing the solutions that he has “on the table” that none of the major party candidates has on the table:

It is true that on these many key issues, Nader does, as his table reveals, have particular solutions on the table that none of the major party candidates have on the table. However, I’ve taken the liberty of adding the one line that Nader doesn’t show on his table that I believe goes to the very heart of what is missing in all of his campaigns for president: (more…)

Instant Runoff Voting Excluded: An Unreasonable Omission from An Unreasonable Man

SystemsThinker — Mon, 24 Dec 2007 15:34:11 +0000

I just finished watching An Unreasonable Man, the documentary of the life of Ralph Nader. I loved it except for one glaring omission that has me deeply saddened, frustrated and angered, yet again, with Ralph Nader, the film itself, and many of the people who spoke in it.

The film discusses at length how Ralph’s legacy has been tarnished, perhaps irrevocably, because of public perception of him as a “spoiler” in the 2000 election. But the film never even took one moment to discuss the fact that the very existence of the “spoiler” possibility in our system is one of its most profound flaws. Ralph himself never comments on it in the film, just as he continues to fail to do over and over in his own speeches and other interviews. And none of the people interviewed in the film - not one - even mentions this issue. I don’t know if some mentioned it, but it was left out by the filmmakers, or if it was just chosen not to be touched on. But I find it hard to believe that this absolutely pivotal point to the entire issue was not even touched on by anyone.

I have talked to Ralph personally about this in the past and I am angered time and again that he won’t put election reform itself, such as advocacy of Instant Runoff Voting, at the top of his agenda so that “spoilers” are not even possible. If his true intent was to open up the system to third parties, as he claims time and again, he must realize, as must many of the people who spoke in the film, that this type of reform is the only way to create any kind of fair playing field. I know absolutely that people like Ralph and Theresa Amato are fully aware of these reforms since I was with them, for example at Fairvote’s Claim Democracy Conference in 2003, where they spoke and all of these issues were front and center.

I have my theories as to why Ralph repeatedly refuses to make this issue his top issue and, given his considerable platform, why he chooses to focus on the faults of the Democratic Party rather than the faults of the election system itself which enable and provide the foundation for the Democratic Party’s exclusionary strategies. His refusal to do so remains the one thing that continues to plague my conscience about Nader because it is so disingenuous. It seems to me to portray a higher priority on revenge for his own personal exclusion by the Democrats than on creating a just election system, even when he himself and his legacy are some of the system’s biggest unnecessary victims.

I spent more than a year of my life devoted almost exclusively to promoting Instant Runoff Voting, helping to make Ferndale, Michigan the third city in the country in recent years to pass an Instant Runoff Voting measure, which we are now working to get implemented. I feel deeply that, along with Campaign Finance Reform, this is the absolutely central measure if we want to open up the playing field to more voices in our political arena. And the failure of the major parties to widely support such reform is the crucial answer to why it is unfair to expect third parties not to participate. And yet when Ralph - as well as everyone else depicted in the film, especially politically savvy people like Michael Moore - refuse to focus on that issue, it is a shameful lost opportunity for real reform.

I plead with Ralph Nader himself, everyone involved in any way with Ralph Nader and with this film, An Unreasonable Man, to repeatedly refocus the “spoiler” discussion toward the faults of the election system and the need for Instant Runoff Voting. I plead with them to turn the discussion away from Nader personally and toward groups such as Fairvote who are doing such fantastic work on beginning to change the system so that “spoilers” don’t even exist. And I plead with anyone who wants to discuss this matter more to get in touch with me. There are few issues that continue year after year to affect me so deeply, down to my bones, as this one and I am eager to speak with anyone who understands and is passionate about bringing real justice to this system, rather than rehashing a pointless debate about why one of the greatest Americans of all time fell victim to a system that should never exist in this form in the first place.

Nader’s “spoiler” fiasco can still be turned into constructive action if we focus the same amount of energy that supporters put into those several-thousand-seat-filled rallies in 2000 and that detractors have put into Nader-bashing ever since then onto the real leverage point for constructive change, election reform, especially Instant Runoff Voting. I call on those who supported and still support Nader to beat a steady drumbeat of “Instant Runoff Voting would have allowed him to run fully without the ‘spoiler’ issue looming.” I call on those who opposed him vehemently and perhaps still do to beat the exact same drumbeat. This is the common ground on which we can all walk together toward greater justice, regardless of where we fall on the double bind by which this system victimized all of us in the 2000 election and continues to victimize us through a mathematically unfair limitation of our choices.

I hope that whenever the 2000 election is mentioned, it gets to a point where the next words on every one of our lips are “Instant Runoff Voting” and “Fairvote.org”. It is the one way to turn this shameful debacle into a win for democracy and justice. And isn’t that what Ralph Nader himself claims to want in the end, even if in recent times he has failed to adopt wise strategy in pursuing it?

Whatever our feelings on Ralph Nader and his 2000 and 2004 runs for the White House, it is time we stop wasting energy on blaming or defending him and band together, with or without his support, to Fix The Election System!

Emotional Responses to the Andrew Meyer & John Kerry Incident: A Psychological Study in Issues of Power, Anger and Authority

SystemsThinker — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 13:36:09 +0000

By now, most of the country has seen the widely played video of University of Florida student Andrew Meyer being held down and tasered by police while screaming “Don’t tase me, bro!” after asking some questions of Senator John Kerry in a rather heated tone at a forum. I am not going to give any more of the details of the event itself here as they are widely documented.

What I’ve found most fascinating about the situation are the responses.

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My Scheme Team Dream: Partners Wanted for Shaping and Changing The World

SystemsThinker — Wed, 19 Sep 2007 13:53:22 +0000

A Recent Undefined Frustration

For quite a while now, I’ve been feeling extremely frustrated. I realized that the dissatisfaction is related to a constellation of factors:

One of the most obvious factors has been a lack of community. While I talk constantly about the paramount importance of tribalism and supportive social networks in fostering health, I have had a very difficult time developing those networks in my current life.

Another factor was that the frustration was clearly tied into a lack of involvement in creating and developing any new exciting projects with great potential.

I also knew that the frustration tied into my having great energy, ideas and tools with which to generate such new projects, yet being unsure quite what to channel those resources into and where to find the support I need to do so optimally.

Another clue is that the onset of the frustration coincided with the drifting apart that has happened in the last year between myself and Mark, the person with whom I developed my company, Emergent Associates, and to whom I’ve turned most for mutual support and creative partnership in the last several years.

All of these factors shed some light on the source of my feelings. But none of them alone was enough to explain it. For instance, while I do lack enough community in my life, I have also found myself uninspired by some of the people I have met who might have offered some. While I want to be involved in exciting projects that channel my energies, I find myself unmotivated by some of the projects easily available for me to work on alone, even if they might give me a constructive outlet.

I knew there was something more specific behind my dissatisfaction, even though I couldn’t yet put a finger on what it was.
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