Thanks for your kind words. Of course the “IT” you refer to is closely related to what Daniel Quinn calls “Mother Culture.” Jensen is a little more direct in his tenth premise of Endgame when he says “The culture as a whole and most of its members are insane.” I highly recommend you read Endgame. Very powerful work.

Thanks for linking to my piece and sharing my site with others. And best of luck to you in maintaining that support system you’ve found.

I got really sick and had to stop working and being so self-sufficient a couple years back and have had to rely on family and community. It was really tough in many ways and frustrating, but definitely worth it. I am so glad to find your site, and the great information and resources in it, so very necessary in our world.

Like I’ve mentioned, I love the idea and have thought about it myself before. I think that you should definitely pursue it, starting off as loosely or formally as you wish. I would just take the incremental steps of putting together a first meeting, getting the word out, and allowing the group to work things out organically as you go.

I don’t know anyone specifically in San Diego. If I were you I would search the web for anyone in San Diego interested in Imago or related fields. And obviously I’d put the word out to any Imago therapists in the area, to singles groups and events that take place there, and I’d get in touch with the Imago Institute which I linked to in my previous comment.

I think that there is a vast need for this not just in San Diego but all over the world. And if you could get something started, it could serve as a model for others.

If I can help anymore let me know and I’d be glad to talk to you online or give you a call. I’d love to be a part of creating a movement around this.

A dear friend of mine happens to be an imago therapist and we are exploring the idea of starting a singles group in San Diego that would combine both the study of the imago philosophy and a social componet of some sort (pot luck, dinning out, etc).

Do you know people in the San Diego area that might be interested in helping us get this off the ground? My imago friend and I feel that there is such a vast need in this area for both ourselves and the community here in San Diego.

I look forward to hearing back from you.

Thank you,

Christine Rothwell

I love that idea too and actually once called the Imago Institute to see if they had any such resource for singles into Imago to find each other. They said they didn’t. I have often thought about creating that if I found others wanting to work on it.

Glad you enjoyed the article. Thanks.

Chris

I don’t think there is any one-size-fits-all answer to a situation like yours. It has to be worked out individually between you and your husband or you and a counselor or therapist. As you know from reading Hendrix’s books there is a lot of deep psychology involved in why such deep attractions can form as we project a great deal of our unconscious onto that person. Working through those issues is something that takes time and insight. I would think that your first decision is whether or not to discuss these feelings with your husband. Possibly you could find a good therapist, perhaps even an Imago-trained therapist, to explain your situation to and decide what steps to take. I’m sorry I can’t give you a more specific answer, but without knowing you and your situation in far greater depth, I can’t know what would be your best course. But I do think it is an opportunity to learn a great deal about yourself and possibly even strengthen your marriage if you use this experience to delve deeper into your understanding.

There are certainly support groups for people like you. The key will be figuring out over time precisely what issue you’ve been facing. Was your partner BPD, antisocial or narcissistic? Are you dealing with codependence? For these and other issues there are many forums online and off that can offer you a chance to grow and heal with people who have been there too.

I have links to some such places for those who have been involved with BPD partners on my Borderline Personality Disorder page. You may want to look into other groups like Codependents Anonymous as well. I think if you start exploring in places like that, you’ll learn more and perhaps focus in on just where you belong, which groups may be the right ones for you and therapists and others who can help.

You may also find useful information in some of the books listed in the Psychology section of my bookstore.

Thanks for writing.