The Bilerico Project

Anti-Trans Policies at Gay/Lesbian Newspaper 'Xtra'

Tobi Hill-Meyer — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 17:00:00 -0500

Xtra, Canada's gay and lesbian newspaper, has been creating a stir with ethical concerns over the treatment of trans people interviewed for their paper. Two policies seem to be at the center of the concerns. First is the assertion by editor Danny Glenwright that it can be journalistically relevant to reveal a trans person's birth name without their consent. Glenwright said this after using the birth name of a trans sex worker interviewed in the paper on his personal Facebook account. Secondly, the paper refuses to print the preferred pronouns of those who use "they" as their pronoun. The paper claims it is grammatically incorrect, even though their critics have pointed out that Merriam Webster has released a video saying that 'they' used as a gender-neutral singular pronoun is grammatically correct.

The controversy is becoming increasingly burdensome for the paper. A petition was circulated last spring, and calls for a boycott have been growing since Danny Glenwright's statements in December. Queer musician Rae Spoon was set to be on the cover of Xtra in January, yet they refused permission to be included in the paper when they learned about the boycott and discovered that their pronoun preference would not be respected. Rae wrote a compelling account of the experience on their personal tumblr. This week Ivan Coyote, a columnist for Xtra, wrote a column for the paper pleading with them to change their policy.

I humbly request that Xtra do some serious thinking about what it means for a queer paper to refuse to honour such a fundamentally basic issue so important to many of its readers, or potential readers. All of its trans, gender non-conforming, gender-queer readers and all of our many allies. Call us what we wish to be called.

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Stuff Cis People Say to Trans People

Tobi Hill-Meyer — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 11:00:00 -0500

In response to the "Shit ____ People Say" internet meme, "Stuff ____ People Say to ____" has been a great way to explore the different common types on prejudice and assumptions being made about marginalized groups. The folks from TransFix! carry this forward with many common frustrating statements that trans people tend to be quite familiar with.

Queer Families: Poignant Holiday Letter

Tobi Hill-Meyer — Mon, 26 Dec 2011 12:30:00 -0500

The holiday season can be very difficult for queer people who have strained or non-existent relationships with their families. I grew up in a queer family and have been lucky enough that my being trans was only an issue for my family for a couple of years. However, this is such a strong issue in our community that I still feel impacted each year. Invariably some of my friends struggle with depression and pain. I've often tried to give support and this year in particular I have worried after saying goodbye to a girlfriend as she goes home to family who still call her by the wrong pronouns and condemn much of what is important in her life.

I've seen people try to deal with this in different ways, one of my favorites being queer community dinners to create new family and traditions. Another response comes in the form of "An Open Letter to the Woman Who Gave Birth to Me in Honor of a Holiday I No Longer Celebrate," a poignant and moving letter by Sadie Vashti.

Sadie writes:

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A Response to Dan Savage's Statement on Glitterings

Tobi Hill-Meyer — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 19:00:00 -0500

This morning Dan Savage put out his own statement regarding the recent glitterings he has been the target of. To begin with, he shares the transcript and some of the details that my source apparently got wrong.

DAN: [READING FROM CARD] My boyfriend is straight but he enjoys anal sex and he asks me to make love to him in his butt all the time. [ASIDE:] You have no one to blame but yourself. [READING FROM CARD] Also, he likes watching she-male porn. Could you tell me why he is acting like this? [ANSWER:] Um, I'm gunna go out on a limb here and say it's because he likes shemale porn and he enjoys anal stimulation. He's acting like this because he's a very freaky boy. If you're into him, and you're willing to go there for him, there are a lot of straight guys who are into transexual sex-workers, transexual porn, she-males for lack of a better term, although some people think that's very offensive--

He does claim that he was about to address the problem with the term before being glittered, and I certainly want to give him props for using the terms "transexual sex-workers" and "transexual porn," all of which is much better than the last time I heard him discuss the subject. He spends the rest of the article parsing through the events of the evening without mentioning any of the other concerns that have been raised about him.

But here's the thing, I am pretty certain those individuals had planned this in advance. They weren't fans who just happened to have glitter on them and were so shocked by his words that evening that they jumped into action. I could point out that he wasn't simply reading from the card and used the term "she-male" twice after finishing the question, or that his phrasing "transsexual sex workers... she-males for lack of a better term," implies that he believes it is the better term, and that that's not a bad assumption to make given that previously he has preferred to use that term rather than "transsexual sex workers."

However, I've repeatedly been saying that while his use of derogatory slurs is one of the most visible issues, it is also one of the most minor. For some reason, it's the issue that everyone has been focusing on. Perhaps people are more used to discussing slurs. Perhaps it's easier to understand. Perhaps it's easier to claim people are being over sensitive. But the other transphobic assumptions and teachings are the more impactful ones. And these assumptions are still present, at least to a minor degree, in his statement today.

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Sidetrack: Use of the Term 'Cis'

Tobi Hill-Meyer — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 18:00:00 -0500

Over at my post "Dan Savage Glittered Again, Student Arrested," a side discussion has come up deserving it's own thread.

Travelingman Rick commented that he was opposed to the use of the word "cis" to describe non-trans people and said that it was slur.

The people doing this to Dan don't have a problem throwing around the word Cis, a word that was created by and pushed onto non trans people by the trans community. A term that I and many others find offensive yet trans people continue to push this word and attempt to foist it upon us. Maybe you should think about that before you blame others for simply using words that have been around for ages that were not directed at any one person in particular but were simply being repeated by Dan that were part of a question he was asked. I am going to start glitter bombing the next Trans person I hear use the term Cis to describe me.

Patrick Farley responded saying:

"Cis" is a Latin prefix that means "on the same side as". In other words, you aren't "trans". It's not a slur. Tranny, and shemale, are slurs.

Why on EARTH would you find "cis" offensive?

I also asked if there were any other value-neutral terms that he would prefer.

John Aravosis at Americablog has made a post focusing on this issue. I'll post my response below. I'd love to hear serious responses to my concerns, and it would be great if this conversation stops taking over the other thread.

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Dan Savage Glittered Again, Student Arrested

Tobi Hill-Meyer — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 08:30:00 -0500

On November 9th, Dan Savage was the recipient of a "glitter bomb" stunt for the second time this month so far. He was continuing his MTV tour at University of California Irvine. One of the students involved in the stunt was grabbed by the police and arrested.

According to my source at the event, Savage was in the middle of answering a question from a student who was wondering if her boyfriend was a freak because he watched porn featuring trans women. Savage suggested that her boyfriend was a freak, while freely using the terms "shemale" and "freaky tranny porn." That is when two individuals ran up and threw glitter on him yelling "Transphobe!" Someone from the MTV tech crew muttered "Oh, not again!" Savage laughed it off and said that being gay he loves glitter.

Later, when another student was asking him about the incident, Savage answered, "I'm used to it."

Savage's use of the terms "tranny" and "shemale" are a minor part of the complaints being lodged against him, however, the use of those slurs is the most visible and most discussed part of them. Savage has claimed that he was transphobic 15 years ago but isn't anymore, however, if that is true than why would Dan choose to use those same derogatory slurs knowing how much anger it draws from the trans community and so soon on the heels of the first glitter stunt?

Was he being antagonistic or just oblivious?

Considering that he is being called transphobic so frequently that he now says he is "used to it," it's hard to understand how he can continue to see himself as a spokesperson for the LGBT community rather than solely a gay spokesperson. Especially when he apparently has begun bringing police to his events to protect him from the community he claims to represent.

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Dan Savage Gets Glitter Bombed for Being Transphobic

Tobi Hill-Meyer — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 09:00:00 -0500

Yesterday evening Dan Savage visited the University of Oregon campus in Eugene as a part of his tour filming his show Savage U for MTV. While the details are not entirely clear, apparently a representative from the "Dan Savage Welcoming Committee" rushed the stage to glitter bomb the celebrity sex columnist along with the statement "Dan Savage is a transphobe!"

As they turned tail, they added, "Glitterbomb courtesy of the Dan Savage Welcoming Committee," and just before they got out the door, "He's a racist and misogynist and a rape-apologist, too!" The operative then fled the scene.
--Statement by Dan Savage Welcoming Committee

Dan Savage has made it clear that he intends to be an ally to trans people, but he's certainly been a very inconsistent ally. Sometimes he apologizes for his transphobic actions, such as when he was criticized for saying that a Republican politician was trans as a way to insult him. Other times, he ridicules those who point out his transphobic actions, depicts them as over-sensitive, irrational, and so forth. He occasionally uses the power of his popularity to bring attention to important trans issues, but he refuses to listen to trans people when they tell him what he is doing is causing harm.

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Stop Fisting Censorship

Tobi Hill-Meyer — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 16:00:00 -0500

Today is International Fisting Day. I'm celebrating in a very personal way on my own blog, but here I want to discuss another important issue around fisting. Did you know that fisting is not allowed in almost all porn?

Production companies might skirt the line by allowing performers to use up to four fingers, but will often check to make sure the thumb stays out. When fisting does happen, it's creatively edited out or obscured to the point that there's reasonable doubt that not all five fingers are in.

With all this effort to keep fisting off the porn shelves, you've got to wonder, "Why?"

As a porn producer, I have to be aware that if I include fisting in a film, most distributors would refuse to distribute the film solely on that basis, and it would be very hard to get into a store. To explain this, they often point to the incredibly vague restriction on "obscenity."

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Bert & Ernie Should Be Friends with Benefits

Tobi Hill-Meyer — Wed, 05 Oct 2011 11:00:00 -0500

Have you seen the internet petition after New York legalized same-sex marriage to have Sesame Street's Bert and Ernie get married and the subsequent backlash against it? Okay, I know I'm coming a little late to this issue, but I've been moving, didn't have the internet for several weeks, and have been catching up since.

Anyway, I feel there is an important compromise to be had here. One side feels that this obvious couple should come out of the closet with a New York same-sex marriage, and the other side insists that they aren't a couple at all and are just friends.

Because the truth is always in the middle of two extreme viewpoints, the solution should be obvious: Bert and Ernie should be friends with benefits.

Others have already pointed out how extremely close the two are, how they seem to buy matching sets of furniture for themselves, and wondered how many platonic friends they know of who share a bedroom? Sure, I can buy the "close friends" part, but is the "platonic" all that likely?

Still, does that mean they are marriage material?

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Anti-Trans Company Producing PFLAG Merchandise

Tobi Hill-Meyer — Wed, 13 Jul 2011 18:00:00 -0500

Update: As pointed out in the comments below, PFLAG has issued a statement (http://blog.pflag.org/2011/07/statement-on-outwear-pflag-national-and.html) and OUT!wear has taken down web sales for their anti-trans t-shirts.

Further Update: OUT!wear has posted a statement and an apology (http://www.facebook.com/notes/outwear-pridewear-accessories/an-open-letter-to-the-lgbt-community-and-its-allies-re-the-wbw-product-line/171857096212704)

Yesterday the news spread through Facebook that OUT!wear, a company that produces gay and lesbian designs for shirts and clothing - including a line of PFLAG merchandise - has released a new design in preparation for the Michigan Women's Music Festival to promote the exclusion of trans women. Several people complained that the shirt, which reads "100% WBW," is in contradiction with their mission:

"OUT!wear™ is quality custom Pridewear and Accessories "WORN WITH PRIDE" to promote visibility, unity and self esteem amongst Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Trans-gendered persons.To promote a positive image within our community, whether bold or discreet."

However, all negative comments on their facebook page were quickly deleted.

I can only assume that PFLAG is unaware of this situation, so I wrote to them to inform them of it. My email follows below.

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When You Are Not A Real Transsexual

Tobi Hill-Meyer — Tue, 12 Jul 2011 14:00:00 -0500

Whenever I come upon part of the transgender vs transsexual arguments and fighting, I have an incredibly hard time. I think of myself as a post-transition transsexual woman, but I have no objection to being called transgender. Indeed all my friends when I came out used the term transgender, and practically every lay person I've ever heard use the term was only referring to people with a binary gender identity who have medically transitioned or seeks to (characteristics frequently attributed to transsexuals). I honestly have great trouble simply figuring out what the difference is.

What bothers me the most is when someone spends a great deal of energy insisting that it is incredibly inappropriate to be called transgender, and they turn around and spit the label at others like it is a slur. If it is wrong for a person to be called transgender when they are transsexual, it should not be okay for that same person to throw the term at others who also identify as transsexual. When making the distinction between the two terms, I can see a variety of issues of personal experience, such as social transition, legal transition, medical transition, binary or non-binary identity, and so forth that some people may want to reference. But instead I keep hearing a bunch of litmus tests that don't properly address those distinctions.

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City of Portland Gets Trans Inclusive Healthcare

Tobi Hill-Meyer — Wed, 08 Jun 2011 17:45:00 -0500

Earlier this morning the Portland, Oregon City Council unanimously voted to remove the trans exclusion clause in their employee health coverage and implement a trans inclusive policy, a proposal brought by mayor Sam Adams. They are only the third municipality ever to do so. This is obviously important to any trans employees of the city, however, it is just as important that the city is recognizing the inherent discrimination involved in trans exclusion clauses, where many specific treatments are covered, until the insurer discovers you are trans.

The oppositions main arguments were "But it's not medically necessary!" and "Not with my tax dollars!" However, both of these knee-jerk reactions are uninformed to say the least. Here is a quick, four point, refutation.

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A Trans and Cis Queer Women's Dialog

Tobi Hill-Meyer — Wed, 25 May 2011 18:30:00 -0500

Two months ago, a sold out crowd gathered in San Francisco to see the third annual Girl Talk performance showcase addressing issues between trans and cis women in queer community. Video of the entire show is available below.

Tara Hardy underscored the need for this event when she recalled the realization that "All of my dreams of writing about being a trans ally turned out to be written about being a partner to a trans man and being an ally to trans men. In other words, cis women think we've done our homework when we work towards making our communities, our events, our bars, and our beds safer for trans men - we haven't."

There's a joke going around that events, community spaces, and resources labeled "women and trans" have an unwritten addendum: "(but not both)." The reality is that there are few queer spaces specifically for trans women and cis women. Having a community event like Girl Talk has proven to be invaluable.

I remember the first year it happened, when I kicked myself for being 600 miles away and unable to make it. When it was available, I listened to the entire mp3 audio recording of the show, which was almost two hours long. This year, I had the opportunity to perform in the show, and I was determined to make it as available as possible to those who couldn't make it. My partner, Ronan, did the filming and I edited it with help from my lover/protege, Rose Pedals. Now all two hours of it is up on YouTube. And you can see it right here.

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When Rape Crisis Support Staff Attack

Tobi Hill-Meyer — Fri, 11 Feb 2011 16:00:00 -0500

Does that headline strike you as absurd? That's how I feel about it. But nonetheless it's the one statistic that sticks with me the most after reading the recent comprehensive study on discrimination against trans people, Injustice At Every Turn.

Respondents reported unequal treatment (5%), verbal harassment/disrespect (4%), and physical assault (1%) when utilizing rape crisis centers. When being housed in or utilizing domestic violence shelters or programs, respondents reported unequal treatment (6%), verbal harassment/disrespect (4%), and physical assault (1%).

I don't want to let others off the hook. Greater rates of discrimination and assault occurred at emergency rooms, legal service clinics, retail stores, and of course the greatest offenders: police. Those seeking help by the police were assaulted at a rate of roughly 1 in 16 and more than a third of all respondents reported mistreatment at the hands of police.

What really surprised me, though, was that staff at a rape crisis clinic would physically assault a rape victim seeking services. That it happens at all I find horrifying, and with that in mind 1 out of 100 seems like an astonishingly large number. That number is the same for those accessing rape crisis centers and domestic violence programs.

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Taormino's Replacement Keynote Also Has Porn Connections

Tobi Hill-Meyer — Sun, 23 Jan 2011 17:30:00 -0500

This story just gets stranger and stranger. After administrators cited her "significant online business in pornography and related material" as the basis of uninviting Tristan Taormino from the Modern Sex conference, the replacement keynote speaker is Charlie Glickman, an employee of Good Vibrations (a porn store). Also, the university is encouraging conference organizers to put guests up in the local Hilton - a company that makes millions off of in-room on demand porn.

Now to be clear, Charlie Glickman is by all accounts a great addition to the conference. He was initially booked as the closing speaker and took over the opening slot as he describes in his blog. But as more and more contradictions come to light, it's clear that Oregon State University administrators don't have a problem with men who work at porn stores or with large corporations that make millions off of porn. It leads us to wonder if what they really have is a problem with women and feminists.

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