The Bilerico Project

Gay Marriage Hurts My Breasts

Yasmin Nair — Wed, 02 May 2012 18:00:00 -0500

I am at the first checkpoint. I can't help feeling that I really shouldn't be here. At any moment the smoothly coiffed blonde woman with the discreet earrings and the beautifully manicured hands will look at me with a frown and say, "You're not supposed to be here. How did they let you in?"

I hold my breath, waiting. I quietly exhale with relief when she looks back up at me, ticks something off on the sheet in front of her, smiles and tells me to go through the door on my right.

Now, the second checkpoint. This is much more exposed. I am now in front of everyone else, everyone else who looks like they actually belong. We are all waiting for stage two, as personnel step up and call out our names one by one, directing us each to any one of the kiosks staffed by people in blue uniforms. I scan their faces, wondering which ones seem more or less sympathetic to me, which one is more likely to scrutinize my credentials with more or less care. I keep waiting for the ball to drop: "Ah, yes, I see, yes, well, I'm afraid you really shouldn't be here after all."

But it all goes well. I'm home free, and I can have my breasts examined.

Continue reading "Gay Marriage Hurts My Breasts"...

In Defense of Sluts

Yasmin Nair — Mon, 05 Mar 2012 15:00:00 -0500

As the saying goes, unless you've been living under a rock in the US, you know by now that Rush Limbaugh recently did what he does best: malign, defame, eviscerate, and demonstrate that he is the king of douchebaggery.

On March 1, perhaps filled with rage at the advent of Women's History Month, the popular talk-show host ripped into Sandra Fluke, a third-year Georgetown University law student who had testified before Congress about the need for birth control coverage. Limbaugh berated Fluke, calling her a "slut" who wanted the government to pay for her promiscuous lifestyle, making the inference that her need for birth control signaled an active sex life, presumably with many people.

This is vintage Limbaugh, and it's fairly typical of a man who has made derogatory comments about nearly all groups, including undocumented immigrants, African-Americans, and women.

The recent incident has prompted a cultural backlash on both sides, with liberals decrying his words and conservatives rushing to his defense. To those who declare that Limbaugh has put his foot in his mouth, I would caution that he is one of the most dexterous in manipulating media attention. I would also caution that such manipulation does not imply a lack of belief in the ideology he professes or that, somehow, that belief could be changed - progressives, liberals and lefties love to imagine that arch-conservatives are people like them who've just lost their way.

Continue reading "In Defense of Sluts"...

F--k Equality: Erotic Short Stories for Rowdy Queers

Yasmin Nair — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 13:30:00 -0500

Against Equality is putting together a new anthology of erotic fiction, so we need your help! We're looking for submissions of original, unpublished stories between 1500 - 2000 words that incorporate our political agenda of challenging mainstream gay and lesbian politics (ie. marriage, military service, and hate crimes legislation) into the storyline. We're always trying to find new ways to animate our politics; what more fun and sexy way to share our political project than with naughty tales of queer debauchery and gender terrorism!?

We want to hear about your wildest fantasies of raucous anti-war organizing, lesbian wolf packs fighting to end anti-queer violence (Born in Flames tribute anyone?), trans prison librarians organizing erotic poetry writing groups, seducing marriage equality interns to the dark side, and lots more! These are just a few examples to get all your juices flowing. And remember: political erotica (when is erotica not political?) doesn't have to be dull and didactic - let your imaginations run wild!

Submissions are due May 15th by email to againstequalitygmailcom; we hope to complete the editing process early in the summer. Each contributor selected for publication will receive two copies of the book as compensation. Submissions should be formatted as either .doc, .docx, .pdf, or .txt files. Please include a short 50 - 100 word bio.

New Yorker Sheds More Light on the Clementi-Ravi Story

Yasmin Nair — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 12:00:00 -0500

Please note that you do have to have read the New Yorker piece in question before you continue reading this particular blog.

In the wake of Tyler Clementi's September 2010 suicide, the gay community set about demonizing Dharun Ravi as a cold-blooded killer who committed a "hate crime" against a gay student. Clementi's death spurred a series of public statements about suicides amongst LGBTQ youth.

Regrettably, it also became the occasion for the gay community to show its typical bloodthirsty quest for vengeance. To compound matters, Clementi's death became the excuse for a great deal of racist bile, with various demands that Ravi and Molly Wie, the woman considered his co-conspirator, both with recognizably Asian names, be "sent back to their countries."

Lost in the quest to declare this a classic case of "bullying" was a more complex and nuanced understanding of how such a thing had come to be, and lost also were the complicated intersections of class and ethnicity that surrounded the case. But, finally, Ian Parker, writing for The New Yorker has produced one of the most intelligent and incisive pieces on the case.

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Against Equality in Australia

Yasmin Nair — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 12:30:00 -0500

Against Equality was invited to participate in the "After Homosexual: The Legacies of Gay Liberation" conference in Melbourne, Australia. The two-day conference begins on February 3, and Ryan Conrad is flying there as you read this.

The gay marriage (GM) debate is heating up in Australia, and a great deal of it reflects the kind of mainstream politics you might see in the US, as evidenced in that gag-inducing video which went viral a few months ago. If you ever needed proof that GM was a vast right-wing conspiracy, set in place by an international cabal of "messaging" experts who got all their training at Human Rights Campaign, this is it.

But there is dissent.

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Cynthia Nixon Is Not My Choice for a Hero

Yasmin Nair — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 09:41:00 -0500

Poor Cynthia Nixon. Once the darling of Teh Gayz, she must now be wondering what she did to earn the ire of those she worked so hard to please.

The Sex and the City star is in trouble for comments to the New York Times, in which she dared to assert that sexuality was, for her, a choice. She used the "C-word" over and over: "And for me, it is a choice. I understand that for many people it's not, but for me it's a choice, and you don't get to define my gayness for me. A certain section of our community is very concerned that it not be seen as a choice, because if it's a choice, then we could opt out. I say it doesn't matter if we flew here or we swam here, it matters that we are here and we are one group and let us stop trying to make a litmus test for who is considered gay and who is not."

Now, if you know anything about Teh Gayz, it is that they hate, loathe, and despise the "C-word." Suggest to them, however gently and patiently, that perhaps sexuality is not immutable or that, horrors, people might actually choose to be straight or gay or even - deep breath - that it simply doesn't matter either way, and you will be responsible for many hissy-fits along the lines of, "Now look what you've done! All those crazy right-wingers are going to use this against us! If we're not sad, pathetic creatures who just can't help being the way we are, we will have no rights!"

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Polyamory, Thy Name Is Newt

Yasmin Nair — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 09:00:00 -0500

From the world of Newtlandia, where picket fences and stable marriages and...oh, never mind.

I can't even be sarcastic about this guy. Surely, by now, even his most ardent fans, including the Nevada billioniare Sheldon Anderson, who pumped five million into the Gingrich campaign, recognize that he is, shall we say, conflicted about the morals he espouses.

We already knew that Gingrich, who once berated Bill Clinton's morals, apparently left his first wife just months after she was diagnosed with cancer, and supposedly left his second wife months after she was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. Now, Marianne Gingrich is revealing that Gingrich wanted an "open marriage" where he could remain married to her while continuing his affair with Callista, his current and third wife.

There's a real danger for anyone on the left in discussing Gingrich's marital issues, and that's the easy rush to make exactly the kind of moral judgements about marital fidelity made by the Right. Even if we ignore the infidelity, it's tempting to throw moral scorn at Gingrich for, allegedly, leaving his spouses when they were very ill. But, please, let's just admit that life is not a romance novel, and that not everyone who finds themself tied to a very ill person--let us not forget that disease can be crippling, body-and-life transforming, and just plain ugly and smelly--really wants to or should have to stick around.

Yes, that's a brutal way to put it, but perhaps we might be better off acknowledging the truth: that not everyone is made to be a caretaker. Or that marriage does not have some magical ability to automatically bind people together through sickness, health, and all the rest. Or that perhaps illness serves to highlight the already prevailing discordance between two people. Perhaps, more importantly, instead of rushing to criticize Gingrich for his hypocrisy, we might even reconsider our fetishization of the marital state.

Continue reading "Polyamory, Thy Name Is Newt"...

Looking for the Math & Science in Everything: Failing to See the Arts

Yasmin Nair — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 14:30:00 -0500

For R., whose scarf will soon be on its way. Really.

A recent NPR report by Ari Daniel Shapiro was about the confluence of Art and Math at the Joint Mathematics Meeting, recently held in Boston.

Shapiro's piece highlighted the ways in which mathematical formulae are hidden or clearly visible in everyday life, particularly in what we might otherwise consider worlds completely untouched by both. Attendee Stephen Hull, described as New England math professor who "studies the math of origami and how to use origami to teach math" pulls out a piece of origami paper and discusses the use of 90 degree turns saying, "Math is hidden in origami. You just don't see it, but your hands are doing it."

Karl Schaffer, a mathematician at De Anza College co-directs a contemporary dance troupe in California: "I would like the participants to experience creating movement phrases and performing them for each other in ways that deal with mathematical concepts."

Moving through the assembled group of 6000 participants, Shapiro meets Sarah-Marie Belcastro, a mathematician based in western Massachusetts, who is also a knitter and crocheter and who shows him her project: a crocheted hyperbolic moebius band. This is in fact currently a really popular form being explored in the worlds of knitting and crochet, but I'm willing to excuse Shapiro, who may not be part of either, for acting like Belcastro's work is somehow unique and the only one of its kind.

The crocheted band reminds me of the recent craze for yarn-bombing, the act of covering everyday and usually public objects, like trees and statues, with yarn, by crocheting or knitting onto and around them. I'm a recent and even slightly obsessive knitter as well as an embroiderer, so anything that highlights the sheer fun and beauty of needlecrafts makes me happy because it helps keep my beloved yarn and craft stores in business.

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Against Equality on Montreal's Queercorps Radio

Yasmin Nair — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 14:00:00 -0500

Fellow Bilerico contributor Ryan Conrad and I were on Montreal's Queercorps radio program. We were on to announce the release of our second book, Against Equality: Don't Ask to Fight Their Wars as well as Ryan's upcoming appearances in Montreal. The book takes a critical look at the movement to repeal DADT.

The interview starts at 18:50, is about 20 minutes or so and, like so much of AE, is packed with thoughtful questions and commentary. If you've been following us, or are curious to know what we're about, this is a great way to get to know us!

Listen here [mp3]

Your Debt Is Not a Moral Failure

Yasmin Nair — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 10:00:00 -0500

Debt has long been the nursemaid to the American Dream. When you consider that said dream consists of little more than the ability to buy lots of pretty, shiny things and to live for years mortgaged to the hilt, it's no surprise that we've internalised the idea that debt is like, well, mother's milk: Healthy finances requires a healthy dose of it from the start, we're told. Indeed, most of us think we are incomplete without debt.

It is therefore no surprise to read this report in the Wall Street Journal, about debt collectors and banks colluding to possibly defraud consumers by promising them credit cards if they will agree to pay back a portion of their debts. The WSJ article is provocative but fuzzy on the details, which you can see more of in this piece.

The point to note is not that financial agents are working together to bilk consumers of their money, which should hardly be a surprise to us, but that those upon whom they are allegedly preying seem to welcome the move.

Continue reading "Your Debt Is Not a Moral Failure"...

'Against Equality: Don't Ask to Fight Their Wars' Is Out!

Yasmin Nair — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 09:00:00 -0500

Our newest anthology of archival writing and images critiquing gay and lesbian investments in overturning Don't Ask, Don't Tell and militarism more broadly is now available directly through our distributor. The wonderful folks at AK Press are once again supporting us with their amazing book distribution skills, so please support them before you go running off to other mega-corporations like Amazon to buy the new pocket-sized book, Against Equality: Don't Ask to Fight Their Wars!

Due to increased printing and shipping costs the new lil' book will cost you ten bucks. That's a small increase since Against Equality: Queer Critiques of Gay Marriage hit the shelves, but we are doing all we can to keep costs low and our work financially accessible to most folks. Also note, all the books we sell underwrite our policy of making all our published work available to queer and trans prisoners at no cost!

Also: if you haven't yet placed a bid on that image of Ryan - you know which one - you have until the end of the day.

Against Equality Auction: Putting Our Asses on the Line

Yasmin Nair — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 16:00:00 -0500

Well, at least one of them.

There's a long-held belief, in some quarters, that Against Equality is run by a bunch of secretive millionaires. How else could we possibly carry off all this fabulousness, people wonder - the books, the tours, the mutliple interviews, the media glitz?

The truth is we do it on credit cards, like every good American (and some Canadians). This time, following on the heels of our very successful first book, Against Equality: Queer Critiques of Gay Marriage, we are attempting to raise funds pro-actively and aggressively. To that end, Ryan Conrad, also a Bilerico contributor, is going (almost) all the way.

Thanks to the generous folks at 2B Magazine / Communications Être (Editor Jordan Arseneault, Publisher André Gagnon, and photographer César Ochoa) Against Equality is auctioning off a large photo print from Conrad's racy photo shoot for 2B's November issue.

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Against Equality: The Naked Truth about DADT

Yasmin Nair — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 09:00:00 -0500

Well, the rumours are true: the naked truth about Against Equality, the collective that brought you Against Equality: Queer Critiques of Gay Marriage, is that we will stop at nothing to draw your attention to our work.

In a few weeks, AE will unveil the second in its trilogy of radical queer anthologies. What better way to reveal and entice readers towards this fabulous new project than to, well, reveal more than you thought you'd ever know about Ryan Conrad, editor of the latest volume, Against Equality: Don't Ask to Fight Their Wars?

As some or many of you know, Ryan (a fellow Bilerico contributor) recently relocated to Montreal and was featured in the latest issue of 2B magazine, a popular local queer monthly publication, as part of its Sex + Health themed issue. Several Montreal queers posed in the nude or, well, almost nude, with bits strategically hidden by emblems of their careers and passions. As you can see, Ryan's pic reveals much about the length and breadth of our scholarship.

The big reveal after the jump. NSFW. No, really. NSFW

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Make Marriage Work Like Disappearing Ink

Yasmin Nair — Fri, 30 Sep 2011 16:00:00 -0500

I don't usually care about marriage news because, well, I don't generally care about marriage, period. But this recent piece on Reuters intrigued and delighted me: Mexico City lawmakers are contemplating issuing temporary marriage licenses.

According to Reuters, "Leftists in the city's assembly - who have already riled conservatives by legalizing gay marriage - proposed a reform to the civil code this week that would allow couples to decide on the length of their commitment, opting out of a lifetime."

Even better: "The contracts would include provisions on how children and property would be handled if the couple splits."

This is, I think, the perfect solution to the intractable and painful process that marriage often becomes for many people. Divorce in a predominantly Catholic country like Mexico is, I imagine, both culturally and economically stressful and while it may be more acceptable here, nothing makes you feel more vulnerable than the drawn out process of deciding who gets the $24.99 toaster you received as a wedding gift, or the 13-year-old kid whose onerous college fees can be seen looming in the near future.

This is a perfect solution: Make marriage work like disappearing ink. Get married, see how it works out for two years - a reasonable time period to decide who gets to take out the garbage and who gets the left side of the bed and, of course, whether or not you'd actually want to continue living with each other for much longer.

I like this. There are, of course, logistical issues to consider.

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Today We Are Not Celebrating: Don't Ask to Fight Their Wars

Yasmin Nair — Wed, 21 Sep 2011 08:00:00 -0500

As the policy of DADT, which barred gays and lesbians from participating openly in the US military, expired yesterday we don't find ourselves celebrating. Instead we are trying to imagine what a renewed, multifaceted anti-war movement could look like while busily plugging away on our latest archival anthology of writing and visual culture that critiques the prioritization of overturning DADT as well as gay and lesbian investments in militarism more broadly.

We hope that this anthology will serve as a historical reminder proving that not all us queer and trans folk were banging on the doors of the war machine begging to be rainbow colored cannon fodder. We also hope it will serve as yet another starting point for imagining other futures without war (including the material conditions that make wars "justifiable") and conjuring actions that will bring us closer to that reality.

The anthology, Against Equality: Don't Ask to Fight Their Wars, features writers like Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore, Kenyon Farrow, Tamara K. Nopper, Erica Meiners, Therese Quinn, Bill Andriette, Jamal Jones, yours truly, and more!

The book will be available in late October from our distributor, AK Press.

Image by Mr. Fish (clowncrack.com)