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Pictures of U.S. Soldiers Playing Golf

Because nothing says victory like having the time to hit some balls.

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Gov. Jay Nixon (D-MO) Tells Mizzou Fraternity to Take Down Gubernatorial Rival’s Banner

Because nothing hurts your reelection chances like a small banner on a giant vacant fraternity house during the summer.

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This Little Kid’s Dad is FaF Apparently

Either that or he’s Bill Brasky.

(1) Comments »

What’s It Like to Watch Porn For a Living?

“You stop seeing people and start seeing holes.” – I assume is a quote in the story.

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Hooker Loving Secret Service Agents Want Their Jobs Back

“Current and former agents interviewed by the Post admit, however, that there was a tacit culture of acceptance of sexual liaisons on the road — ‘wheels up, rings off’, as the mantra supposedly went.”

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Bill Clinton is Hanging Out With Porn Stars

This man knows how to be an ex-president.

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Things are REALLY Fucked Up in Mexico

The drug cartels are in an ever escalating war, and this terrifying quote describes it perfectly: “What was once viewed as extreme is now normal. So these gangs must find new extremes. And the only real limit is their imagination, and you do not want to know what is the limit of psychopaths.”

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North Carolina Teacher Tells Student Not to Criticize Obama

It really doesn’t help your case when the teenager is clearly smarter and more articulate than you. h/t to Jeffrey Lebowski

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The Tucson 12 Girls at the Casino Del Sol Pool Party

Casino Del Sol was the venue for The pool party of the year down in Tucson. Check out the video recap featuring the new Tucson12 girls having a blast.

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Tempe 12: Katy Moakley

Katy Moakley takes a break from school to have a little fun.

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Austin City Limits Line Up Announced

Come on down to Austin October 12th – 14th. There’s a decent chance you’ll see at least two members of the TFM team dead in a gutter.

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Taylor Swift Honors Fallen Marine

You are a national treasure.

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Man Turns Super Soaker into Actual Shotgun

Don’t worry parents, that creepy guy at Toys-R-Us isn’t there to molest your children, he’s just making weapons.

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Blacking Out Too Much Will Make You Black Out Permanently

The cyborg brain I’ll have implanted in 60 years begs to differ.

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Pakistani Doctor Who Helped Locate bin Laden Convicted of Treason, Sentenced to 33 Years in Prison

Dear Pakistan, get fucked. Say what you want about Obama but credit to him for giving zero fucks about the sovereignty of our shitty allies and sending in the SEALs anyway.

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Ronald Reagan’s Blood is Up For Auction

Here’s an idea: We take Reagan’s blood, combine it with DNA from Ted Williams’ head and genetically engineer the perfect American. My simulations tell me he’ll look something like this.

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The Best Way to Avoid AIDS

I don’t think the CDC understands the concept of a “target audience.”

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Old “Now That’s What I Call Music” Commercials

Let your nostalgia slip quickly into shame.

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Oklahoma State Invents New Type of Steak, Won’t Share It

We’re sorry about the BCS, now please give us the steak.

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Scott Disick is Lots of Things, and TFTC is One of Them

How is that the marriage that lasted?

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Zombie Hobo Gets DWI While Driving With His Zebra and Parrot

I’m pretty sure the driver was just relieved that he wasn’t the only one who could see the zebra and the parrot.

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Would You Like Any Cream With Your Coffee? Sugar? Menstrual Blood?

A presumably disgruntled (or a terrifyingly kinky) Indonesian maid added Aunt Flo’s secret ingredient to her employers’ coffee. In 100% related news I had to go buy a new keyboard after I threw up all over my old one.

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Claude Giroux, Playoffs Points Leader, Playing Beer Pong with Two Broken Wrists and a Playmate

The Playmate, however, is not his. Poor crippled bastard is probably slamming some pedestrian 10 instead.

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Tim Tebow is Not a Fan of Naked Ladies

So there really isn’t anything new here to report, except that if a naked lady takes a picture with God’s (but not Rex Ryan’s) chosen quarterback, he’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t tweet it.

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Samuel L. Jackson as Darth Vader

“What does Emperor Palpatine look like? Does he look like a bitch!?! Then why you tryin’ to fuck him like a bitch, Luke?”

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6 Movie Bars Where It’d Be Cool to Have a Drink

Coyote Ugly is not on that list, because Coyote Ugly is real… and fucking stupid.

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This Season’s 10 Best SNL Sketches

Anyone not familiar with the “Under-Underground Festival” sketches needs to watch all of them immediately.

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Some Chick from Mad Men Did Some Lesbian Scenes Once

If it says “lesbian” and “Mad Men” I’m contractually obligated to post it.

TotalFratMove.com » Custom RSS

Pictures of U.S. Soldiers Playing Golf

Gov. Jay Nixon (D-MO) Tells Mizzou Fraternity to Take Down Gubernatorial Rival’s Banner

This Little Kid’s Dad is FaF Apparently

What’s It Like to Watch Porn For a Living?

Hooker Loving Secret Service Agents Want Their Jobs Back

Bill Clinton is Hanging Out With Porn Stars

Things are REALLY Fucked Up in Mexico

North Carolina Teacher Tells Student Not to Criticize Obama

The Tucson 12 Girls at the Casino Del Sol Pool Party

Tempe 12: Katy Moakley

Austin City Limits Line Up Announced

Taylor Swift Honors Fallen Marine

Man Turns Super Soaker into Actual Shotgun

Blacking Out Too Much Will Make You Black Out Permanently

Pakistani Doctor Who Helped Locate bin Laden Convicted of Treason, Sentenced to 33 Years in Prison

Ronald Reagan’s Blood is Up For Auction

The Best Way to Avoid AIDS

Old “Now That’s What I Call Music” Commercials

Oklahoma State Invents New Type of Steak, Won’t Share It

Scott Disick is Lots of Things, and TFTC is One of Them

Zombie Hobo Gets DWI While Driving With His Zebra and Parrot

Would You Like Any Cream With Your Coffee? Sugar? Menstrual Blood?

Claude Giroux, Playoffs Points Leader, Playing Beer Pong with Two Broken Wrists and a Playmate

Tim Tebow is Not a Fan of Naked Ladies

Samuel L. Jackson as Darth Vader

6 Movie Bars Where It’d Be Cool to Have a Drink

This Season’s 10 Best SNL Sketches

Some Chick from Mad Men Did Some Lesbian Scenes Once

Hockey Commentator Thinks Soccer Players are Pussies

Nick Kroll and Selena Gomez Spoof “Fifty Shades of Grey” on Funny or Die