Tagalog Sounds Like a Girl Scout Cookie

Rollin, Rollin, Rollin

noreply@blogger.com (Helen) — Wed, 13 May 2009 10:11:00 +0000

I've moved! Sudah pindah! Please change your bookmarks and RSS feeds to Halo Halo

Thanks for following me while I was in (and out) of the Philippines.. from now on I'll be Helenintheworld : )

Change is Inevitable: Blogging, cell phones, and my Dad's ties

noreply@blogger.com (Helen) — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 07:54:00 +0000

I have resolved to finally change my blog address now that I've been out of the Philippines for about 9 months (even if I'm still in denial). I think I need to be a (slightly) more grown up blogger and would appreciate your suggestions for non-country themed blog addresses or suggestions for a nice classy and clean template that I can swipe. I'm leaning towards staying at blogspot and merging all former blogs (Helen in Morocco, Egypt and Philippines) into one. Thoughts?

In other technology-related news, I finally caved into the obsession with fancy phones and decided to upgrade, but I'm back at square one after realizing that it's highly unlikely any phone I buy here will work in the United States. Telecommunications is one area in which I despise American exceptionalism- everyone else makes it so easy! One phone, simply change the SIM card. Thailand, among many other countries, even lets you buy a SIM card before you've left the airport, making communication a breeze. Singapore, oh Singapore, even sells other countries' cell phone credit at its airport. I think the US can do better but for now I guess I'm sticking with my 20 dollar phone that just texts and calls, pondering my options and shaking my fist at the FCC and American phone companies. If any of you out there have gone through this and have suggestions I would greatly appreciate your global phone advice.

Last time in the good news category I only highlighted friends, but my family has plenty to share too!

Cousin Michael is having his Eagle Scout ceremony this weekend and is planning on enrolling at North Georgia College & State University in the fall - and cousin Marion recently decided she will be heading to The University of Florida on a full-ride scholarship! I'm so proud of both of them and am especially excited to have another cousin in Georgia and even though my alma mater officially hates the Gators, I'm also thrilled for Marion and will only be a requisite jerk on game days. : ) Closer to home my youngest brother Emory made it out of fraternity rush infierno alive and kicking and Gregory, in the spirit of perpetually postponing graduation, got a scholarship to study Indian languages in India next year. Go Smith kids!

Perhaps this isn't blog-worthy, but considering my computer backdrop is my family at Easter, I have to say my family looks really good (though they would look better with me there, naturally :)) My dad was even wearing a non-red tie, which was a shocker. As I recall, last Easter he moved into the light-red, almost pink category, but this year went crazy with a light yellow tie. Emory was looking fratastic in pink and of course Mom and Gregory also looked great. I was sick on Easter but this year I celebrated both Passover and Good Friday so I didn't completely miss out on Holy Week, but longed to bring pink dogwoods from my tree and put them on the flower cross at church.

6 months by the numbers

noreply@blogger.com (Helen) — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 05:17:00 +0000

This month has been a letter bonanza! Stories from Aunt Diane, Aunt Carol Ann, Mom,Cousin Katherine, Brother Gregory, Friends Annie, Sarah, Thomas - thanks to all of you for making my April a better month : ) . Several of the letters were written on or around March 8^th, the date of my accident, and I like that nice sign from the universe that some of my loved ones were thinking of me during the most difficult couple of days here. If you don't know by now, I love letters and I have a good track record for responding, so send one my way if you'd like to add a stamp from Indonesia to your collection.

We've passed the month anniversary of my accident, the accident that made March pass by in a sort of dream. I'm much better now- I can sit with my legs bent and feet on the ground, walk almost normally and my last open wound has closed up and is no longer emitting blood, transcudite or yucky stuff. It's still awhile until complete recovery, skin regrowth, etc. and of course I've got a nasty cold to keep kicking me while I'm down (or, in Indonesian parlance- I've already fallen but the stairs are falling down on me). You would think I would take my down time to write up fabulous entries on the elections in Aceh or other fascinating things but the drugs make me feel too loopy : )

Fun fact: Phrase for ulterior motive in Indonesian is "A shrimp behind the rock."

Six months by the numbers:

Indonesian songs memorized: About 15

Times swimming with all my clothes on: 3

Bike trips outside the city: 6

Text messages sent:1555

Text messages received:1643

Unintentional pseudo dates: 2

Visits to the field: 2

Number of districts I've been in Aceh: 6 (NAD, Aceh Besar, Pidie, Pidie Jaya, Lhokseumawe, Bireuen)

Number of letters written: Approx 60

Hitler posters taken down from the wall: 1

Expat parties: 2

Books read: Approx 10

Estimated Indonesian vocabulary: 800- 1,000 words

Days on antibiotics: 19

Holiday-themed packages from mom: 5

Half-way through, six-month review

noreply@blogger.com (Helen) — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 05:25:00 +0000

I'm about to send off my PiA 6 month report- can you believe it's already that time? I can't! I got to reflect on the effectiveness of my work, cultural differences, travel opportunities and if I had "found myself" in Asia. I'm still not really sure what my expectations were for myself coming to Aceh so it's hard to say if my experience has lived up to them or not and what my goals are for the remainder of my time here. I know I'm a different person now that I've been in Asia for nearly two years, but I'm no longer so obsessed over what that means or how those changes manifest themselves. I think most of it is just getting older ; )

For your reading pleasure, my response to: What have you learned about your own values and worldview through living abroad? Were you hoping to 'find yourself'? Have you?

In general everything is all mixed up. It’s not that hard to imagine that moving from an evangelical South to a Catholic Philippines to a Muslim Indonesia makes you question a lot of your religiously-determined worldview; my ideas on feminism and human rights and development have also been challenged- sometimes confirmed and strengthened and sometimes I’m no longer sure where I stand.

If 'finding yourself' is 'knowing yourself' then yes, I've made some progress, although not all of it is fun. Living abroad shows you to yourself at all of your worst moments. The good ones come along too, of course, but I've seen myself at my most depressed, most lonely, most confused, least self-confident, and all my conceptions of myself as a hard worker, a go-getter, a patient and responsible person, a leader, etc.etc.- all of these have at one point or another, for a short or long time, gone out the window.

The beautiful part is that none of these realizations or experiences are stagnant ones and I truly believe I've grown from each of them. If at first I thought I was no longer a leader, now I can recognize the nuance of leadership and how cultural our conception of its value and manifestation is. If at first I bemoaned how slow I was to do things at work, I later was thankful for the time getting to know my coworkers and moving at their pace until I could add value to the work being done. If at first I felt so constricted and harassed by men and self-conscious about myself as a woman, I now feel confident in the line I’m walking between being true to myself and open to what comes my way while at the same time being respectful and sensitive to cultural differences. There are still plenty of difficult times and questions, but this tension and working through it is what creates a different me at the end of my time in Asia and that’s what we all want, even if we have to yield ourselves to it instead of plow through like Americans often prefer to do. : )

So one day Las Vegas students will be taking down Hitler posters too

noreply@blogger.com (Helen) — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 04:12:00 +0000

The hands of taqdir have struck again! Only days after I shared with you my excitement at removing a Hitler poster from the wall here in Aceh, I have another (greater) opportunity to keep the significance of the Holocaust alive, this time through young students in Nevada. Padmini, a college friend who is in her third year of Teach for America in Las Vegas, is seeking support to buy a class set of "The Book Thief" by Markus Zusa to help teach about the Holocaust. She writes on her Donorchoose.org page:

I teach seventh grade reading in Nevada. Over 90% of my students receive free/reduced lunch. Most of my students are English Language Learners with many students arriving to America within the last five years. My students have no idea what the Holocaust is. They are thirteen years old and live in America. How could this have happened? It's our responsibility as teachers and adults to ensure we never let this happen again, but yet, so few of our students have even inkling about the Holocaust. I cannot express to you the fear I feel when I think about that fact. Incredibly, the Holocaust and history in general is not taught in elementary school and in sixth grade. For many of my students, they become aware of the Holocaust at the end of seventh grade, which is covered briefly in conjunction with World War II. After that, my students probably won't hear anything or learn anything about World War II and the Holocaust until high school. As a result, most of my students have little to no knowledge about the true story of the Holocaust. What they will learn is the pop culture references that often belittle Hitler, but without any references to the six million people who were brutally murdered or how we can prevent human beings from doing this again. However, our school library doesn't have the funds to purchase a class set of The Book Thief for our class. As the state of Nevada has experienced serious budget cuts.

If you feel inspired to support Padmini teaching this crucial part of our history please give here. The website that she gives through is a non-profit that helps individuals like you and me give directly to classroom projects all across the United States. One thing I noticed after I gave is the remarkable transparency of where the funds will go, as well as the contributions of the organization itself, DonorsChoose. The project cost report for Padmini includes both the cost of procuring the books and cost to the organization:

This report details the labor performed by DonorsChoose.org to turn your donation into a live project. The project fulfillment fee supports this work and ensures "end to end" integrity on every student project. While the cost of fulfilling a student project remains the same, DonorsChoose.org offers a "scholarship" to the highest-need schools. Depending on a school's poverty
level, the fulfillment fee is 25%, 20%, or 15% of the total project cost. The vast majority of schools using DonorsChoose.org have high rates of poverty, so most proposals carry the 15% fulfillment fee.The organization adds an additional 15-25

I especially appreciate the detail below, which enumerates what staff work went into making these connections (and helps to justify the fulfillment cost) :

Mar 30, 2009 Donorschoose.org volunteer Kelly H reviewed the proposal essay to ensure that Ms. J fully explained the student learning that would take place, and emailed follow-up questions if anything was unclear.

Mar 31, 2009 DonorsChoose.org staff member
John C verified the project resources and calculated the proposal price tag.

It's great to see this kind of transparency that probably does not add much to their work but supports the overhead, though I like the term infrastructure better, that NGOs need to survive to keep making these connections happen. I wonder if Kiva, which already suggests a 5% donation with every loan, could adopt this model to reflect even further the work of volunteers and staff that make the loans possible.

Cinta = Love

noreply@blogger.com (Helen) — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 10:20:00 +0000

Last night, discussing relationships:

TTM (Teman tapi merasa) aka Friends but romantic, or, in American equivalent, Friends with benefits

vs.

HTS (Hubungan tanpa status) aka Relationship without status - American equivalent could range from "talking" to dating w/o commitment, may or may not include physical relationship.

The table was split between preference of HTS or having a pacar, or boyfriend/girlfriend, with some eshewing commitment, others lamenting the frustrations that come along with a HTS. General agreement that Aceh is a difficult place to have either. Dating is a bad word here, though ABG (anak baru gede- children newly big- adolescents), like ABG everywhere (and their older friends : ) ) know how to push the boundaries and skirt the WH (pronounced way ha- Sharia police). Plenty of dates happen, just without being called dates, or within the context of groups. Most flirtation seems to take place through Yahoo Messenger or by text, not so unusual these days.

For every individual a different story. Some of my Acehnese women friends have had boyfriends- one only spent time with him in the presence of her mother or occassionally in group settings. She expects to have her first kiss on the day of the wedding and there are many like her, though I'm in no position to generalize. One of my favorite stories is from New Year's Eve, which I missed while I was in the US. Apparently there were fireworks, and in one of the large fields in the center of town there were lots of couples watching and sitting close together while the outnumbered WH/Sharia Police gave up, unable to censure anyone since there were so many couples!

Perhaps there will be other times to discuss the WH and relationships, the expat world of romance, when the expat world and the local world collide in love and lust and countless other explorations of cinta in Indonesia, but for now I leave you with my new acronyms, thankful that I can just be 'sendiri tapi tidak kesimpian' (single but not lonely) and try to avoid the complex waters of TTM and HTS.

Good News Friday

noreply@blogger.com (Helen) — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 08:32:00 +0000

I'm back in Banda Aceh and feeling very nice, as long as I don't think about 6 more weeks without my bicycle and without yoga... I returned on Wednesday and around 6 I was just hanging out on the couch when Annie busted into the house in a panic- "Helen, my inner tube has come out blah blah blah, can you come outside and help me fix my bike?" I launch into action- this is easy, we can do this, if necessary we can just switch out our front tires since we have twin bikes, etc. etc. We go outside to have a look and to my surprise the front yard is full of my friends welcoming me back with balloons and yummy food and sanger, my favorite coffee drink laden with sugar and condensed cream. This is why I love Banda Aceh! I really have the greatest friends.

They arrived right when my coworker who is a nurse had shown up to help me change my bandage- I was so excited to show her how much it had improved since leaving for Singapore and she was excited, too! Today at work I cleaned and changed the dressing on my wound all by myself, under her supervision, so that in two days I can do it again at my house!

***

Great news! The Hitler poster at Intense Audio is gone! Now it's just John Lennon, Bob Marley and Rolling Stones for some peace, love and rock 'n roll and no more men "full of hate" who "killed a lot of people." One can never be sure of why it was ultimately taken down- I could have just been one voice among many but either way I'm so happy that it came down and that I got the courage to ask (and encouragement from Annie).

***

More great news- my friends are doing a lot of cool things these days and I just want to point a few out. Share your good news, too!

* Annie Lambla will be having her first international photo exhibit in Istanbul this spring featuring photographs from her life in Turkey last year. Hopefully I can share more details in this space at a later event, but I'm so excited and proud of her for this great accomplishment!

* More than a year and a half into her Peace Corps experience in Morocco, lots of opportunities seem to be coming to fruition for Anny. One awesome development is the launch of a website to market wool, pile carpets woven by women in the Souss Valley of Morocco. Check out the link to view, commission or order homemade carpets with proceeds going straight to the women and community that produced them.

* UGA Foundation Fellow Sarah C. will be working in Detroit this summer to help resettle Iraqi refugees. She's already written some great posts in preparation for this experience and I'm looking forward to following her accounts. One of my dreams of post-Philippines life was to work with Iraqi refugees in Jordan or Syria and so even if Indonesia is quite far I'm glad that I can still get a glimpse of this world through Sarah (and another favorite blogger Transitionland).

* Former Princeton in Asia Fellow and friend Angilee Shah has a great article "Colombo's Secret War on Terror" posted in the Far Eastern Economic Review that was also linked to on another one of my favorite blogs, Wronging Rights. Yay Angilee!

* High school friend Liz Clarke is fighting pirates with the U.S. Navy in Somalia. Read her interview in The Charlotte Observer here.

* Speaking of Charlotte, if you live there and are looking for an affordable house to rent near the cool places in Charlotte (i.e. near Central Ave.) check out Cristina's ad in Craig's List.

I went through books like they were barbeque

noreply@blogger.com (Helen) — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 11:13:00 +0000

Heading back to Banda tomorrow- bummed that I missed out on remote island workcation and real vacation with Selena in KL- I was really looking forward to getting all sweaty and greasy in KL clubs checking out the musical underworld with relaxing days by the pool, but health is the best gift of all and so is missing the place that you live! Who would have thought I would be so ready to trade in the global cuisine of Singapore for my tempeh and all of the Starbucks for some Cek Yukee and Helsinki? My wallet, perhaps, because seriously, Singapore is mean to wallets. I haven't done much shopping except for the requisite purchase of The Savage Detectives by Chilean author Roberto Bolano so that I can be an intellectual hipster no matter where I am (actually it's because I'm reading another book by him that is so incendiarily awesome that I must anticipate what it will be like to finish the book and have no more of his words - 2666 highly recommended: ) ) I also got a few things at an art store where I was using all of my restraint not to buy out the whole store. Wherever I live I need to have libraries/bookstores and art stores. Oh, how I want a studio for myself! It doesn't need to be really big, but it must have good natural lighting. I got so riled up today talking to Ali about the transformative power of art and how I've always wanted to open up an inner city space where all people can come in and create art for free. I choose to ignore all of the practical issues that would come attached and simply imagine the possibilities : )

Now that I'm dreaming, I'll leave you, but knee is good, Helen is good and I hope you are too!

Medical Vacation in Singapore

noreply@blogger.com (Helen) — Sat, 21 Mar 2009 05:49:00 +0000

Well friends, I'm sitting in my friend Ali's apartment in Singapore with my leg propped up and a bowl of edamame shells (soy beans) by my side. I'm just at another point in my bike accident saga, only this point is probably the best one to be at, since I'm here in Singapore to enjoy the benefits of orthopaedic specialists with walls full of diplomas and incredibly friendly nurses who clean my wound and cover the dressing with water proof sealant- I can take a shower! I was scheduled to fly to Medan today to join the health team on our trip to an island to the west of Aceh where programs are coming to a close. I was really looking forward to the island vacation, but at the last minute yesterday I came to grips with the fact that my health needs to be my number one priority and I need to really be sure that I'm on the mends and not jeopardize that with gallavanting on a remote island that could provide ample opportunities for stress or infection and an additional logistical nightmare if I need to come back to Singapore. I'm not always good at saying no and setting limits for myself- I can do everything, right? So this is an exercise in prudence with the side benefit that I'm in Singapore for longer!

I arrived Thursday morning after my boss, a doctor, advised that it was time for me to seek a higher level of care than what she and Banda Aceh have to offer. Enter the crazy process of dealing with my American insurance company, SOS (coordinating body for emergency situations) through my employer and company provisions for seeking medical care. My American insurance company was, predictably, no help at all and just read back my policy to me- "I'm sorry, if you aren't dying we can't help you get anywhere," but SOS in Jakarta was incredible- calling me at all hours of the day and helping me look into booking flights and accomodation and scheduling an appointment in Singapore- my first conversation with a Doctor to get his recommendation for my insurance company was unbelievable- I nearly cried with thankfulness for someone who was reassuring and helpful and asking me if I needed anything, in such contrast to the medical care I had received before and the response from the insurance company. Everyone at work was also extraordinarily helpful- they've done this quite a few times and it shows. The flurry over that day and a half trying to arrange everything while dark spots and discoloration increased on my leg was challenging, to say the least, but it also reminded me that I handle stress well (or at least internalize it really well : ) ) and it was an empowering experience to keep pushing and making sure all of the logistics were in place, while still trying to be calm and smiley. Meditations on how Indonesia cities and airports are not handicapped-friendly aside, I arrived in Singapore relatively calm and at ease, knowing I had friends here, a place to stay, metered taxis, world class hospitals, and so much more to make this experience easier for me.

Also, not only did I get my bandage changed yesterday, I also had a teeth cleaning and a hair cut, all after 2pm! Singapore is a marvel of efficiency! Today's goal is to get the bandage changed again and also to look into getting contacts. When I moved to Indonesia I had to resign myself to wearing glasses everyday and I would really be interested in not wearing glasses everyday, or at least having an option, and in the process getting over my fear of putting anything in my eye. If I can handle eating chicken feet and cow lungs and arranging a medical trip to Singapore I think I can handle putting contacts in. We'll see how it goes!

Time to go take a shower and marvel at my waterproof dressing- updates will follow!

Saint Patty's in stitches

noreply@blogger.com (Helen) — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 06:59:00 +0000

Happy St. Patrick's Day! Life is a bit slow these days, though it's bound to be when your mobility is compromised. Although I wish I could summon up the spirit to write a post on my exhilarating adventure that ended up in stitches and crutches, it's still marinating, or at least the lede is. In short, to go ahead and spoil my future post, I was riding my bike downhill, I fell, I had to get 7 stitches below my right knee, I've now had those stitches removed and I'm just taking it easy, changing bandages frequently and bemoaning my lost future as a leg model. All this time I was thinking post-Indonesia, I'm going to be a leg model, but now I guess I have to figure out a way to use my brain instead. Life is tough, I tell you.

You should not worry about me because a) I work for Doctors, b) I work for Doctors, c) My friends are amazing and d) My Mom's got it covered. There are some upsides to the situation since I have now had the opportunity to be inside two hospitals as a patient for the first time in my life outside of being born (one for stitches, one for changing bandage before my doctors took over) and this proves I'm an incredibly dedicated public health person working to improve health systems in Aceh since I'm getting some firsthand experience. Finally, it gave me an opportunity/excuse to watch the final season of Gilmore Girls again and spend some evenings chilling out with just me since believe it or not, my social calendar in Aceh has gotten to the point where I rarely have time to myself. Crazy. I am going through kopi withdrawal but I have promises from a friend to bring me both coffee and Javanese herbs to help one of my bruises get better, and who turns down a Javanese herbal treatment? Also, my Indonesian vocabularly has expanded to include words for: bandage, stitches, crutches, and swelling. (Fyi: Perban, jahitan, tongkat, gembong)

I am your brother best friend forever

noreply@blogger.com (Helen) — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 10:38:00 +0000

"I used to think Americans were serious and wise and didn't get very emotional... until I watched American Idol."

My friend Ricardo

I haven't watched any of it this year apart from one of the selection shows even though it's on TV 2-3 nights a week, but then again I try to avoid American Idol every year like the bad American I am who only pretends to like it when my blood is being taken and the nurse is asking me who I like best. Needless to say, even though I don't personally follow American Idol, I think it happens to be a nice slice of America- our crazies, our sweet stories, our varied backgrounds and aspirations- and I guess it goes a long way in proving to some that Americans can do emotional : )

I've been MIA for a bit since I was on a biking trip this weekend and haven't had much access to internet since, but daring tales to come!

Eating notes, an attempt to bring down Hitler

noreply@blogger.com (Helen) — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 07:23:00 +0000

The tap water is served warm so that you know it's been boiled first and because people think cold water makes you fat.

Eating ritual: rinsing off the spoon/spoon and fork/hands before enjoying a meal. Sometimes there are individual bowls with water or water and a piece of lime, other times it's a pitcher sitting in a bowl that you use to pour water over the cutlery. At the very least people grab a napkin to wipe off the spoons.

Most places have bags of krupuk on the table- assorted kinds of crackers made of cassava flour and fish/beef/chicken fat and deep fried. There are several kinds that taste exactly like Pork Rinds/chicharon, but don't tell that to Muslims, who do not eat pork.

At coffee shops the waiters put lots of little plates on the table, holding deep-fried bananas, deep-fried tofu, tempeh, cream puffs, white bread with a caramel-like spread... lots of finger foods to accompany your coffee. Sometimes there are doughnuts with chocolate sprinkles on top but friends will warn you that some people, who can't afford the doughnuts perhaps, will just take a lick and place back on the table, to be passed on to someone else.

There are lots of rumors about food, like that at some bakso places (salty broth with meatballs) you can find underwear at the bottom of the pot. Who knows about the veracity, but rumors are fascinating and reveal plenty in and of themselves.

***

Unrelated to food, last night I engaged in a bit of mini-advocacy but feel convinced that I was unconvincing. At the local popular Intense Audio, home to plenty of DVDs and CDs, there is a picture of Adolf Hiter on the wall between John Lennon and Bob Marley. I have a friend boycotting this establishment because of said poster, so I thought I might as well give a whirl at asking them to take it down. My efforts went something like this, only far more nonsensical-

"Hi, may I ask a small thing? Sorry my Indonesian is not yet fluent. Maybe you could remove the poster of Adolf Hitler from the wall? You know, because he is full of hate and murdered a lot of people. Ya... maybe Ibu could ask her boss. Ok. Thanks!"

All the way over there my heart was pounding, wracking my brain for the right words, the right way to ask without offending or making it seem accusatory- you know, the Asian way to smilingly ask someone to take down a poster of one of the most unquestionably evil-doing people of our time. I'm proud of the "full of hate" line- didn't think that that was what was going to come out of my stutters, but I'm not sure it did anything. Still, worth a try, and maybe others will join the chorus who can do a better job at explaining why it's offensive. Apparently there is also a Hitler poster at the "24" hour internet cafe in case the first campaign is successful I can try my hand at the internet cafe! I've already posted an Osama bin Laden poster in sight on this blog, but I'm not touching that one : )

Photo credit: Pillars by me

time for a haircut

noreply@blogger.com (Helen) — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 08:57:00 +0000

Helen at the United Nations

noreply@blogger.com (Helen) — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 03:41:00 +0000

I'm not entirely sure why, but today brought back memories of my first real experience with the UN and …

We were only 18 and we had 80s-looking name tags that granted us access to the inner chambers (or at least one of them) of the UN. We saw firsthand the furniture that hadn't been replaced in fifty years, the old tape room that still provided audio copies on tapes. The TV screen was on some Pakistan vs. Indian controversy. Maybe nuke trials. There was a roped off smoking area right next to the chambers… maybe that's changed now that New York has tighter legislation? We took a woman to a hospital and called our parents to find out what you are supposed to do if you bring someone to a hospital. We saw people getting arrested outside the emergency room. I think. We met a charming man from Morocco and made friends with our Kinkos men. Thanks be to Jose. We had to purchase a second cart to wheel our boxes of printed newsletters into the U.N. after the first broke. I believe we named her Hedwig?

It was an Ad Hoc Committee Meeting on Disability, which I won't try to explain, suffice to say that we reveled in the intrigue, in the last minute policy changes, in the meetings of various NGOs that were trying to establish a common advocacy, the ones who were grumbled to have too much influence. We were a few feet away from Kofi Annan. We loved a crazy Hungarian woman who had lived in Yemen in a house everyone else thought was haunted. Her neighbors threw trash into her yard. She threw it back. We met men and women with disabilities who were advocates coming from all over the world. One woman fell in her bathroom one night, forgetting that she no longer had a leg while trying to step on it. I scrambled to talk to a delegate from Serbia so I could say "Dobro jutro gospodine." I read Queen Noor's biography and dreamed of Jordan. I met men from the Middle East who planted a seed in me. I learned about the campaign to ban landmines. And it's success! I learned what a white paper was. I learned that the UN has crazy bureaucracy and badly needed more than just a facelift. I learned that what the UN does matters, but it wastes a lot of paper in the process. I wonder if my next four years at college were partly working so that I might have the opportunity to be there again one day. Of course those two weeks also taught me a lot about how I might not want to be back there one day. I haven't put that internship on my resume in a long time… it was five years ago, right? But if we could really put down what experiences had shaped us on our resumes, they would look a lot different.

How can you explain what it means to hear someone ululate for the first time or chase a blind man down the streets of New York City, only to find he doesn't need you? It doesn't seem like absorbing two weeks of U.N. gossip should count as something you've accomplished either… but putting together the pieces is invaluable. So now Anny is a Peace Corps Volunteer in Morocco and I'm over here in Indonesia. Once we saw the world in the smoky, outdated and maddening inner chambers of the United Nations we couldn't see it the same way again. Correct me if I'm wrong, Anny, but that was one heck of a ride.

Malaysia smaysia

noreply@blogger.com (Helen) — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 11:10:00 +0000

I have more passport stamps from Malaysia than any other country but all I've seen is the Low Cost Carrier Terminal more times than I care to remember and the view at late night or early morning riding into the city to spend a night in a cheap hostel before returning to the airport. In about a month or so, however, I am going to take advantage of the gloriously cheap Air Asia fares from Banda Aceh to KL ( USD 30 - 90 roundtrip depending on deals) and see Selena, my wonderful friend from Manila, since she's going to be there for a month with a friend. Weee! We're turning into the baddest ASEAN girls around, I think. I was all ready to buy the ticket today but I had to hold my horses and I need to figure out work schedules and get permission from my boss first, naturally, but clearly I'm excited. I'm so glad I'm still in Asia!

Malaysia is one of those countries that I'm not sure I would have believed was a real country not too many years ago (sorry Malaysia) but it must be hard to compete for South East Asian attention when you've got the likes of Thailand! Vietnam! Singapore! and of course, the fabulous Indonesia, many of whose citizens grumble that Malaysia steals aspects of their culture (really it's about the marketing, I think) and is not as cool. It's probably just because they are jealous Malaysia has better job opportunities and a sweet light rail. I'm looking forward to actually getting to see parts of the city during the day time (Islamic Arts Museum! Petronas Towers!) and practice saying my vowels with a Malaysian pronunciation (Indonesian and Malaysian are essentially the same language, though increasingly divergent) and have an excuse to be dorky about following Malaysian opposition politics. No apologies for the nerdy.

Other things planned for my trip: buy more nice but modest tops for work that are common to Malaysia/Indonesia, engage in some medical tourism and try to get a physical or teeth checkup, contacts is probably overly ambitious.

Time to go make some lentils and catch up on my letter-writing after a slew of letters/packages coming in from my brother, mom, Aunt Diane and Aunt Carol Ann, Grammy, Will, Selena, Jane and Rachael. You guys have no idea how exciting it is when I get letters from you!

Red and Pink Day

noreply@blogger.com (Helen) — Mon, 16 Feb 2009 04:24:00 +0000

Happy belated Red and Pink day! Despite there being nothing
particularly Valentine-y about February 14th here, I still wore pink
and gave out candy hearts over the weekend that my mom had sent me. I
also watched the first half of Titanic on tv, Annie didn't trust me
when I told her I was only going to watch the "first tape" and leave
when the ship started sinking, but I only like the gushy love stuff
and not the scary underwater stuff. Back in the days when we only had
tapes Titanic was most certainly a two-tape video, like Sound of Music
and Anne of Green Gables, other Helen-favorites. : )

On Saturday night we had an all-girls sleepover and ate lots of food
and watched episodes of a Korean tv show called Coffee Prince,
involving a girl who looks like a boy who gets hired by another guy to
pretend to be his boyfriend so that he can make all the women his
mother and grandmother try to set him up with run away...complicated,
especially with only Indonesian subtitles, but it was funny girl time
and far better than any Koreanovela I saw in Manila. I love Asia.

Weekend account + ghost stories

noreply@blogger.com (Helen) — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 05:11:00 +0000

The weekend...

Trapped inside by rain on Saturday led to painting, decorating my
room, singing Indonesian pop songs to myself and writing letters
before taking advantage of a break in the rain to bike to get coffee
with friends. Later we attended a Pirate-themed expat party and
engaged in some dancing that would have been better if international
parties didn't mean the presence of too many techno lovers. Although
tempted to hijack the itunes and put in some more danceable tracks I
held back- even though I saw the massive Ray Charles collection from
the screen and wanted to show those Australian surfers excuse me,
Somali pirates, that "What'd I Say" is pretty top notch dancing music
and could be followed pretty nicely by some Missy Elliott.

Sunday morning I slept in until getting up so I could go to Funland
with the bestest 8 year old in town (Annie's hostbrother- he calls me
Kak Helen - older sister Helen, I'm all melty inside) to play arcade
games and bumper cars! Then I spent time perusing through teenage
literature on how to be Gaul and Shari'ia at the same time- i.e. cool
and within Shari'ia law, I suppose- perhaps I should have picked it up
to practice my Bahasa. A two-hour massage later (yes- two hours! for 7
bucks!) I biked over to celebrate a friend's birthday at the Malaysian
food place that doubles as a bikers' hangout most nights. If it's your
birthday (at least in this crowd) you can expect to get raw eggs or
cake or sand (whatever is available) smashed on your head or clothes,
which also tends to result in retaliation and ultimately in about 30
friends standing around suspiciously. One day I hope we'll have a
full-on food fight, in the meantime it's fun to hide behind taller
friends and try to avoid getting frosting on your face.

This is a bit ridiculous to ask 4 months in, but why can't I be fluent
in Indonesian now? I alternate between being super excited about how much
I already understand and can chat about to being so frustrated at being
surrounded by unbelievably cool people that I can't always communicate
with. I was on the receiving end of some ghost stories last night
before attempts to explain things in words that were understood by both parties required us to give up.

There are a lot of ghosts in Indonesia. I learned about two different
kinds of female ghosts last night- one is the spirit of a pregnant
woman who died while giving birth, the other is a mean ghost with a
bloody hole in her back from domestic abuse. I think all of us wish I
could tell you more... just more incentive to keep studying, I
suppose.

Joining the conversation

noreply@blogger.com (Helen) — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 10:16:00 +0000

Since Sunday afternoon I've had a visitor! My friend Sarah, who I know
from UGA and who has been teaching English in China, added Aceh to her
Chinese New Year trip through South East Asia. I've had a great week
and it's been so much fun hanging out with her and taking her around
the city and introducing her to my friends. I warned her that life
wasn't exactly exciting here, and that eating and drinking coffee and
hanging out was about as much as I could offer her in terms of things
to do. All the same, I think it's fair to say that you can learn a lot
and experience a great deal simply spending time with people from the
area and doing simple things- often coming away with more than just
seeing a series of tourist attractions (though those have their place
of course!)

I was delighted (though not surprised) at how effortlessly and
beautifully my Indonesian friends welcomed her into the fold, and
pleased again last night when a touring Egyptian girl and her German
boyfriend were passing through and I invited them to dinner and
coffee. How do I express the feeling of leaning back and looking at
multiple conversations happening around me and not feeling any stress
or worry over making sure my friends felt accommodated- the sense of
ease and delight that they were getting to talk to wonderful and
interesting people?

Every night that Sarah was here we had consistent go-to friends to
spend the evenings with. The numbers and faces varied slightly every
night, but I was so pleased that she got to know the people that I
consider my community here and hear stories and ask questions to
really get a sense that she's visiting Aceh and Indonesia, not just
coming to a place where her friend is. This was her first time in a
predominately Muslim place, so the calls to prayer and visit to Masjid
Raya and meeting lots of Muslim men and women was, I think, a
significant part of the experience. If you've followed my blog since
the time of Helen in Morocco it's probably no surprise that I take
great joy whenever anyone newly experiences Islam or Muslims and can
add faces and conversations to their experiences.

Although this may not be true, I do not anticipate any other friends
or family visiting me while I'm here, so apart from the fact that I
was really excited to see Sarah for herself, I was also glad I could
experience sharing with someone I know what living here is like and
why I've grown to really like it. Many a night my conversations are
full of stories and superstitions, explanations of words, tales of
life in Indonesia both in Aceh and on islands far from here, of
conflict and police, of aspirations and interests. The best way to
know what that is like is to be part of the conversation : )

Jump for joy for tempeh burgers

noreply@blogger.com (Helen) — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 10:11:00 +0000

I'm sitting on a mat woven by a women's cooperative in a vegetarian/vegan (?) restaurant that also has free wifi and displays environmental literature. Nasa langit na. I'm in heaven!

This is a fairly new restaurant, but I hope other people love tempeh burgers on whole grain bread with fresh veggies and limited use of salt and sugar as much as I do : ) It's a 45 minute bike ride from my house, farther than most places I frequent but a nice opportunity for exercise and well-worth it for healthy and yummy food!

This is the first weekend since I've been back that I'm not going on a long bike ride, but it's nice to have a day of relaxing and painting and tempeh burgers

Bensin

noreply@blogger.com (Helen) — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 05:00:00 +0000

Before going up the steep hill to Mata Ie we stopped for gas at one of the ubiquitous road side shelters advertising bensin (gas). A rusted tin can with a handle was dipped into the larger tin can and two and half of these smaller cans were poured into a watering can with a red hose attached. While the gas was being poured I looked behind the bensin stand and saw a woman take out change from a green melamine tea pot.

A different bensin stand near the big mosque downtown

I am here. I love my city.

noreply@blogger.com (Helen) — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 04:45:00 +0000

I have a shirt that features a map of Indonesia on the front with a line pointing to Banda Aceh that reads "You are here." On the back is a small circle under the collar with the words "I love my city." When I first got this shirt I loved the design and fully agreed with the front; yes, I am here, but the back? Love? My city? Not so fast…

I was supposed to go see some orangutans for the three day weekend (holiday for Chinese New Year) but some last minute work and more crucially a last minute return of a cold I'd been struggling to get rid of all week convinced me that perhaps I should take the weekend to rest. On Monday, after my third night of 12 hour sleep (haven't been that indulgent in months and months and months!) I was awoken by a text message from a friend… "Helen mau masak?" Would Helen like to cook? Before I knew it I was with a group of 10 heading to the same spot I biked to last weekend, only this time we were going to build a fire and cook together. Before turning down the road we stopped to get the chicken. Two chickens were taken out of their tight quarters in the coop and killed and de-feathered in the back. Shortly afterwards they were brought out front and placed on the table where we watched the intestines and other entrails being taken out, washed and set aside. My friend Piva wondered why Acehnese people don't care for these parts of the chicken in the same way the Javanese do. She explained the process of killing chicken that was hidden from us in the back room since she had done this herself many times throughout her life. Our butcher chopped up our chicken for us and a familiar sight began to emerge- the raw leg and thigh, the breast, only no Styrofoam, plastic wrap and barcode before checkout.

About 45 minutes later we were at a small dam next to a cave and everyone began gathering firewood. The large banana leaves were brought over and fanned over the fire first so that they would not tear as easily once the chicken was put inside. We squeezed margarine from a bag onto the chicken, adding salt and lime juice before wrapping the banana leaves up and putting the packet onto the coals. Unfortunately we had not made the packet thick enough and ended up with the chicken on the ground in the fire, but we fashioned two rotisserie-style stakes from thick stems and put them on rocks over the fire. This was to be the ultimately successful preparation of chicken and we all stood watching the juices sizzle before plopping down and eating the chicken on another banana leaf with sweet soy sauce, hot sauce and tomatoes. The dirt was the secret ingredient for our delicious meal! We also ate bananas that we had roasted in the fire- thick bananas that would never be at home in a Dole plantation- delicious starchy and sweet bananas warm and lightly caramelized from the flames.

After lunch we continued to the beach and after finishing our young coconuts we lay down in the sand as the sun began to set. Although I was fully prepared to go swimming the sand was too comfortable and before I knew it it was already time to go home. I showered at home and then biked downtown to eat dinner. Many places were closed for Chinese New Year so we ended up at A&W, an American-style chain with hamburgers and French fries and milkshakes. I didn't want French fries, I wanted something substantial- I wanted rice! I'd much rather be able to buy a freshly killed chicken, make a fire wherever I want, use banana leaves and eat regular food on the side of a road than do the equivalent in the US, with plastic-wrapped food and regulations on campfires and fluorescent fast food restaurants.

I am here and I love my city.

Making choices, having patience

noreply@blogger.com (Helen) — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 07:23:00 +0000

Another good week for Helen! Wednesday night we had an All-America night with some American Idol, Step Up 2 (so much better than the first one!!), Macaroni and Cheese, microwave popcorn, chocolate candy and then 8 girls dancing around my house and singing karaoke with Tiza, my fabulous roommate, on the guitar. After the evening Annie called for a debrief so we could be excited about how splendid the evening was and she confirmed that she had asked if dancing was against Shariah law and it isn't so phew, no sin promotion last night. In slight last-minute anxiety on Wednesday I learned I should alert the security and the security manager for all of SC in Indonesia ended up knowing that there were going to be 7-8 girls over at my house that evening. It was ok (as long as no boys, they said, which I knew anyway) and no problems but a reminder to add security to my list of items requiring foresight. In addition to making sure someone was bringing Step Up 2 and that we had butter for the mac n' cheese, securing permission with all the right people was very important.

Thursday night was yoga + yummy soup and coffee with the PiAers. I keep running into people that I know from biking (small town!!) and even though I can't remember everyone's name I feel warm inside as the connections start to multiply. I recently submitted my three-month report for PiA (three months, seriously? On my half-birthday no less. 23.5, here I am) I wrote many pages about life in Aceh and all of it's crazy contradictions, my work and so forth. One of the questions was about what was the most surprising thing for me here. I wrote that I expected it to be 'harder', though my expectation reveals a superficial idea about what that meant, envisioning a far less luxurious living situation and more work in the rural areas- unaware that Banda Aceh had developed so much in the past few years and that my job would be so office-based.

And yet, despite so many things being far easier than I imagined they would be (amazing living situation, great PiAers with good connections, yoga class, opportunities to bike, English-dominated workplace, colleagues used to working with Westerners, etc.) I was surprised that it would still be so difficult for me to adjust here, that I still wasn't sure exactly how I ended up in Aceh and if I really wanted to be here, in spite of all the reasons I seemed to have to be immediately happy and engaged from the start. I tend to like to make things difficult for myself, but too often it's because I want a situation to inspire me to tackle situations and environments and challenges that I try my best to avoid if not forced into it. Perhaps I run to the developing world because I'm afraid of being eaten up by the developed world, of surrounding myself with people like me, of living in nice places full of liberal hippies and caring so much about stuff, of being swept away by a power suit life (if liberal hippies and power suits can co-exist ;) ). I can't run away from myself, though, which is the disappointing realization you have when you're in a place where you're all you've got. I know my weaknesses better than I'd like to know them. That being said, feeling worthless and purposeless and friendless is a pretty good place to start from (as long as you don't stay stuck there forever : ) ) When you don't feel so hot your logical brain saying "you've done this, you'll do it again" doesn't help very much, but when you start to feel the elation that comes from small victories and the convergence of good in your life, you begrudgingly appreciate what you started with, if only because it binds you that much more to the place you are in, the people you are surrounded with and the work you are doing. If you were writing a six-month report on day one you might not say "hallelujah! I'm writing a six-month report" when you do, if you meet all of the coolest people in a place at the very beginning (though several is certainly nice, especially if Annie is one of them) you might not love your new friends with a ferocity that comes from knowing how much you've searched to meet someone like this (ex: Selena!)

My temporary roommate Tiza, who I mentioned above, said a very wise thing a few days before I went home for the break. We were walking through my peaceful neighborhood, marshes on either side of us and a clear sky overhead. She said life was about making choices, having patience and dealing with the consequences. Simple, yes, but the insertion of patience in the middle reminded me we have to let things breathe a little bit- Asia has given me growing patience with others but I still need a little more for myself. I think as humans we 'learn' the same things over and over, I certainly feel that way, but I'm still hopeful that we can stretch ourselves a little bit more each time and take comfort in the resilience that has been gifted to the human race.

Thank you for allowing me to share the journey with you! Just as last January marked a shift in my experience in the Philippines, I sense the same thing happening now and for that Al Hamdu Lilah.

The return of giddy me

noreply@blogger.com (Helen) — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 05:44:00 +0000

I think that Helen just arrived in Aceh. I'm not 100 percent sure, because I'm very acquainted with frequent highs and lows, but I'm feeling positively giddy and have mid-week plans for Step Up: 2 and macaroni and cheese with my gals, which can't be anything but the best Wednesday night I've had in a long time.

This weekend was relaxing and reflexology for two hours (sigh) and good food and Juno and then more good food with Burmese colleagues and then sleeping at 8:30 pm on a Saturday and waking up to go on a full-day biking trip to the beach! with 60+ other bikers! We biked through rice fields and neighborhoods and slowed down to pass by the big Palestine flags where men with boxes were collecting money for Palestine (for aid efforts for jihadis for who? through what?) and little kids jumping up and down yelling ayo! ayo! (go! go!) and stopping traffic and cleaning the beach and making new friends and grinning constantly and whew....

I know this is a less-than-satisfactory way to describe the first? second? best day in Aceh (the other one involved biking too : ) ) but I'm still caught up in all of the moments. The day ended in a dinner at a Malaysian restaurant where the bikers hang out all the time (will that include me at some point?). There were about 20 of us celebrating a birthday and I had more time to get to know some of the others. Most of them are Indonesian and maybe 1/2- 3/4 not from Aceh but here working for the aid organizations too. These are my people! Sigh. This is really too much to handle. Can I tell you how nice it was to be boy girl girl boy and no problems talking and a mix of Indonesian and English and good food and excitement at possibilities for things to come and being glad that Indonesians are now taking to Facebook like wildfire too?

All of that to say that it was a busy weekend, but full of the things you want busy weekends to be full of- friends, relaxing, good food, adventure, and joy!

Finally, because I know everyone out there is wondering if I kept to my public promise, I did read and translate those four pages of Twilight from Bahasa Indonesian to Bahasa Inggris. Not translating per se, just using the dictionary enough so that I could understand. I didn't want to disppoint you so I finished this morning over breakfast before coming to work. I have left the protagonist worried about going to a new school where noone knows her and she'll be an orang aneh (weird/awkward person). I feel you, Bella. I'm an orang aneh myself most of the time, but this weekend may be a sign that I won't be feeling it as acutely from here on out.

Personal pats on the back: ego tripping on black beans and barley

noreply@blogger.com (Helen) — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 06:31:00 +0000

Today is the end of my first week back in Indonesia. It's been a pretty happy week, outside of one emo journal entry and email to Hannah. That's a pretty good week, I'd say, especially coming off of the highs of vacation. There has been nothing specific, really, only I'm trying to give myself good points for good decisions instead of focusing on my disappointments with myself and beating myself up while continuing to be lame. Hopefully over time the celebration of smaller actions and changes will create a happier and healthier Helen who is doing her best to be present! A few of my personal high fives to myself:

Go Helen for waking up at 7 every morning and having time to eat breakfast (yogurt + muesli + honey - another good point) and drink tea while watching news before biking to work at 8:15. Usually I wake up and leave at the last minute possible...
Go Helen for any efforts to limit eating all of the sweets and snacks that come my way at work (notice that I'm not pretending to avoid everything, just say no/eat less of a few more things).
Go Helen for evenings without tv (or only news and not fluff).
Go Helen for cooking the black bean and barley stew and eating a healthy dinner 3/5 of the working week.
Go Helen for the bike ride I took last night just to enjoy the weather and get a little exercise.

Time and time again you realize that you are the only one who is really going to care about you and you are the only one who can really make any changes to make yourself happier, more productive, etc. As someone who spent too much time in 4th grade willing people to come sit next to me instead of me make efforts to join them at the lunch table, I have a tendency to do a little sulking and be sorry for myself before sucking it up. But that game is so 4th grade and I'm now 4th grade plus a lot, which means it's unacceptable. This also coincides with the passage of three months, which is generally a turning point in and of itself.

In potentially related news, I've copied a few pages of the Twilight book that's become a craze world wide and I'm going to try to read it in Indonesian. Or at least the first chapter. Or at least the four pages that I copied today. One step at a time. I'm not so keen on reading it in and of itself, but a lot of my friends in the office are reading it and I might as well bend to social pressure and practice my Indonesian. (Practicing Indonesian would be a major Go Helen)

Why can't chess be allowed in daylight too?

noreply@blogger.com (Helen) — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 10:59:00 +0000

Two stories, the first a translated summary from a story in Serambi (Daily newspaper in Aceh) from January 5th that I got in an office email, so I'm not sure who to give credit to but I hope it's ok to share. I have plenty of other clips, tales of wild elephant attacks, brothers killing brothers, floods, earthquakes, protests... but for now we'll leave it at tales of chess and tight clothes. The second story is from an English language newspaper and I've directly quoted from the first paragraph. Apparently even jihadis need permission slips.

Ulama in Kota Langsa ask not to 'play' at Sharia Islam implementation - Waspada

Aceh Timur – Tengku Syech Muhajir Usman Basyah, head of HUDA (Ulama Dayah Association) Kota Langsa urges all people to be more serious in implementing Sharia Islam. He asks for all activity that is against Sharia Law should be prohibited. "Bands or keyboard shows are prohibited at night, but in daylight are allowed," he said. Tgk. Muhajir said that based on the Ulama HUDA agreement events or activities that are prohibited are: Band shows, dominos, chess, the transvestite community, tight clothes and unmarried couples aren't allowed in cafés or to go riding on a motorbike together.

Also, from the Jakarta Globe, "Muslim Groups Plan to Send Jihad Fighters, Voluntary Workers to Aid Gaza 'Brothers'" 5 Jan 09. Click through to read the whole article, it's not just about jihadis; humanitarian workers are also being mobilized, but thought you would find this interesting. Last line I've copied is a winner.

"The Aceh chapter of the Islamic Defenders Front, or FPI, will recruit Muslims to fight in Palestine, chairman Yusuf Al-Qardhany said. "The recruitment of jihadis to Palestine will start [today]," he said. "At present, 13 applicants wishing to become jihad fighters have already registered." Speaking from Banda Aceh, Yusuf said that at least 60 fighters from Aceh would go to Palestine via Egypt. Prior to their dispatch, they would receive a week-long military training in Aceh, he said.Registration for potential recruits would be open for two weeks.

…

All applicants would have to fill out a form which included parental approval for them to go to Palestine, he said."