Take Ur Vitaminz — 100% Belizean

On FIFA12

2012-01-16T13:21:00.003-06:00

I'll make this quick before le clients crucify me. Gameplay in FIFA12 was a lot better than expected but what the hell is up with the referee?

Gave it a good run over the weekend and my record is a shabby 24-15-19. So far, there are a lot less glitches in this new installment. Tactical defending is pure genius. It feels like you're in full control and not much is left to chance. Well, except for maybe the CR7/Zlatan airball factor. That aside, tactics actually work the way they should!

Beware of Cristiano Ronaldo.

But Why?

2012-01-08T05:34:00.009-06:00

That's Caesar at three and five months. He's very human now. Sings, cries, wipes his own ass. Pre-school starts again for him on Monday and aren't we glad he spends time mingling with his kind. I hope he doesn't end up like me. I never liked mingling with retards at anywhere. I was miserable. Every, single day.

Trouble

2012-01-08T00:06:00.012-06:00

Trouble. It's good for the mind but not for the rest of us. Here's what you do. Isolate it. Out of sight, out of mind, take it away from the rest of us. Plant it in its own soil, damn it. Grow it. On the way, care for it, but just a little. Then let go of it. Throw it away. Hurt it. Yes. Why? Because it's trouble, fool.

Do what more often?

2012-01-04T08:15:00.001-06:00

So I'm here raving to the female about my clothes.

I put to wash relatively new clothes in the basket, next thing you know my clothes return hard, stretched, and effing worn beyond repair. This burns me like you can't imagine. She responds: well, maybe, if you would shower more often I wouldn't have to wash them for too long.

Wawawaaaaaaa?

Hey, Where's the Beef?

2012-01-03T00:34:00.013-06:00

The last two years of my life have been very social. It wasn't always like this but it was worth discovering what the rest of the world was like outside of mine. I met a lot of great people, those who've had lot to share, those who had the balls to slap me in the face, and how could I forget the Friday night football crew.

Caesar is the wow in my life. Even if you're not the caring type, that instinct will kick in when your three year old responds to your threat with "but I'm your son" and suggests that "[Uncharted] is too hard for you". He's doing pretty well and I wish him the best.

There were also a lot of negatives of my own creation. I regret every one of them but as SAF puts it (paraphrase...) "we must bounce back, because that's what we're about".

But there was one thing I liked about life pre-2010. When you had the time, you could skin a thought down so granular that the truth would stare you in the face. When you had the time.

Among the chaos this new year brings, I bid you more free time, profits, and great food. Cheers!

Now Online: Leonardo Melendez Photography

2011-12-10T11:24:00.008-06:00

Finally got a break to launch my photography portfolio at leonardomelendez.com.

You can find me on Facebook».

It's So Good for You, You Have No Idea

2011-11-17T17:15:00.002-06:00

Cup of tea anyone? I've gathered a pound of panda droppings. I concur, it goes well with tea. Don't laugh, it's true. It's healthier than green tea, I can tell you that. It's one of those things that once you taste it, you never forget it. I take mine with two drops. It's two blues a drop for you my friend but it's so good for you, you have no idea.

If only I was working out

2011-11-06T22:36:00.007-06:00

True story. Was out Saturday night, when around 2am I went to pick up my truck in front of Nahil Mayab. As I opened the door some guy was in there sleeping!

The fool fell asleep half way through his crime. He packed everything that was inside the truck into a bag: documents, garbage, my take out ceviche included. Maybe, just maybe, he was cleaning up for me. The dark fella stood up, beer bottle in hand, said a few words and walked away like nothing happened. "Nothing missing mein, check it."

I was high like a kite at the time but there was enough sense in me not to start an altercation. I mean, come on, I'm in no shape to pick a fight. This town needs to invest in a Batman and I need to start working out.

Granny Mrs. Quan

2011-10-24T07:04:00.009-06:00

[Excerpt from January 2008 entry Walkman.]

This morning I couldn’t help but notice a figure sitting on the couch. I walked by thinking “white-haired, aged, short, soft and stocky figure?… must be a troll”. Not sure if she's enjoying the weather or praying but my grandma’s been sitting on that couch since she got here.

This is the grandma dad imported to “fix” our terrorist ways while we were growing. The level of respect and order she damanded set her apart from any granny in the world. She used to strike us with a stick because we looked too tender. Granny Mrs. Quan’s presence terrified us (which perfectly explains why my bed’s been well spread this week).

She’ll be in for a few more days but who’s counting?

My Little Accident on Riverside Street

2011-10-20T11:45:00.010-06:00

Yesterday I was lucky. I'm in a V8 Dodge something when I try to overtake a crawling car on Riverside Street. I hit the gas too hard, my truck skids and the rear tire explodes on the sidewalk. I lose control for a second. What a show!

Landy from Hotel de la Fuente is in the passenger side. He's the one that changes my tire because I'm still a pussy.

Drive cautiously. Stop driving 100+mph on that Cancun highway, because, when your car gets a flat while you're busting a move, it's not a good feeling.

Tighten Your Butt Holes

2011-10-17T15:28:00.000-06:00

We got a new house maid today. It's been a while but we need it. Let's see how long before things start go missing. Ugggh!

What Have I Done?

2011-10-05T18:55:00.000-06:00

This work is eating my soul!

Today is the Day

2011-09-27T11:56:00.003-06:00

Tracy will eff me up if I don't clean the bathroom.

That Thing About the Chinese

2011-01-20T00:36:00.007-06:00

Took my first bath of the week this morning. Watched some Skins (UK version). It's Wednesday. I'm feeling right.

I step out to get a can of spaghetti and meatballs at the chinese. A cute chinese baby is lying down on the counter, steering at me cheerfully as I walk in. But really, she's smiling because they're cleaning her filth on the grocery counter. That's the same counter we (me and Smeagol) buy Happy Cow cheese from, where they slice Happy Cow!

I get home and have my small meal, in search of solace, with only one thing in mind—culture my ass!

What's For Tea Da'ling?

2010-05-04T18:50:00.005-06:00

Over a period of three weeks, a teenager has been stabbed to death (one block away), the corner grocery store robbed at gun-point (chinese proprietor shot on the leg), they've stolen one of our vehicles (recovered), burglarized another, et cetera, et cetera.

And to top it all off, the unforgiving heat just brings us closer to heaven. Now isn't that colourful?

What's for tea da'ling? Opra-seed, that blue cheese burger burger on the Brazilian flag, and pricey Parmesan, 12.5 percent GST included.

Adieu World

2010-01-04T15:28:00.002-06:00

Takeurvitaminz is the result of an experiment in web culture. It began in late 2005 during my studies in San Ignacio and comes to end today...sort of.

This is more of a long hiatus from blogging than anything. Why? Personal objectives. Things that require more energy than I can offer. Love. Money. World Peace.

Keep in touch with me on Facebook. Watch my photo site for future activity.

I'll leave you with some randomness for now:

Roy's selling his Mac Book Pro. Check out his site for more details.
Caesar (right) at one year, four months:
What my dad looks like before a trip to the US:

Machine-like

2009-11-16T09:11:00.002-06:00

I’ve been nothing short of machine-like these days. So much that I’ve been losing weight, time in the sun, and much of the essential bond with my girlfriend.

I read an interview once where Hugh Jackman mentioned that his trick to staying fit was to eat small servings but many times throughout a day. And that sounds like what I’ve been doing lately. Pretty much. Only now, I’ve dropped below my average weight and Tracy says it’s not looking healthy. Maybe I’m sick. Note to self: Take a break from "la trabajar" to eat like normal people this week to find out if you have cancer.

Working indoors, on a computer is also taking a toll. I’m beginning to look whiter (maybe I’m sick), and am acquiring a natural slouch. I’ve found a solution to the former; take 4 to 5 days between baths and eventually, you start seeing the browner side of life. About the slouching thing, many people have pointed it out before but I wasn’t paying much attention until I saw this picture. Note to self: Need more vitamins and maybe a trip to the gym.

St. Christopher's shoot, November 2009. Picture courtesy of Da Cori.

My relationship with Tracy is on the funny side. She’s unhappy because I haven’t been spending enough time with her. And this is something I can’t figure out so easily because somebody has to pay the bills! Note to self: Welcome to the twenty-first century.

I gots to whip out. Needs to take Caesar to the babysitter. Note to self: Don't forget to get a snack for Caesar on the way.

Glitters Forever

2009-10-15T18:26:00.002-06:00

I had already given up on getting decent haircuts in this country until I found Glitters.

In the olden days I'd go to my mom's favorite salon for a haircut, which was really just an attempt to bring back the mess I had started on my own head.

When I entered standard 3 (5th grade), it was off to the town's popular barbershops, the types I'd never knew existed if not for peer pressure, where I'd sit down to get a machine and "gillette" haircut for $5 BZD.

The "gillette" is Belizean tongue for a razor blade, held with bare hands by a barber, used to elaborately chisel one's hairline.

The "gillette" is a razor blade, normally held with bare hands by a barber, used to elaborately chisel one's hairline. It made all the difference. Many times I'd walk out sapping up blood with a napkin provided by the barber just after he'd spray my broken skin with an alcohol and water solution.

Once I hit college, I grew tired of the ghetto-glitzy Belizean style haircuts and started experimenting. All through 2008 and 09, I had Tracy cut my hair with a little clipper but she never really got a hang of it — my hair would hardly recover to meet human standards.

This weekend I found hope in the form of Glitters. If you'd like a very hot, certified, no-speako-ingles Mexican hairdresser prancing around in Dolce, dancing in your head with scissors and shampoo, without a farking razor in site, for $9 BZD, you should make an appointment. (Glitters Beauty Salon: #47 San Antonio Road, Orange Walk Town, Belize. Appointments Tel. 600-7827, Tuesday-Friday 1pm to 6pm, Saturday 9am to 7pm.)

I Am Not Dead

2009-09-30T02:55:00.001-06:00

Just here working hard, watching the occasional football.

A Short One

2009-08-10T19:57:00.000-06:00

I haven’t been here in a while. It’s not neglect, it’s just that there’s nothing in my head to write about.

It’s been work, planning, and trying to convince myself that it’s time to make a move.

Tracy’s going back to school next week and we still haven’t figured out what’s going to happen to the baby. I’ll probably have to fill in as mom and work-from-home dad until we get on top of things. It’s not going to be pretty but it’s manageable.

Ciao.

Know a Real Electrician?

2009-06-25T17:02:00.005-06:00

I like to experiment and tinker with things when they misbehave. But if fixing things were only easy, everything would be cool and collected at the end of the day.

Tonight, I'm listening to, and trying to enjoy music on built-in laptop speakers, instead of the ol' Klipsch, because a couple months ago, I thought I was an electrician...

Klipsch Promedia 2.1 computer speaker system.

The Klipsch Promedia 2.1 computer speaker system is not your mother's Altec Lansing setup that came with her new Dell. Oh no, it has more balls than that. This thing is a stallion. I miss you boo :(.

It so happens that the main cord, the one that connects the small speakers to the amp, was giving problems so I decided to fix it...and guess flipping what? It didn't turn out cool and collected like the directions on the label: "Apply pearl-sized amount. Lather up. Rinse. Repeat.". Hmm.

So now, I'm trying to do the right thing, but I get the feeling that it's ovary now for Mr. Klipsch. Unless that is, if you heard of a body known to have great electrical prowess, like that guy from India.

I'm willing to go cross-country, but not overseas to fix the thing. I saw a Radio Shack in Chetumal once (awesome), not sure if they carry these parts. Recommendations anyone?

The things we do for money.

Took these parts out a little exhibition jar I keep on my dresser.

Ridiculous

2009-05-22T17:28:00.002-06:00

I was walking up a very third-world hill this evening and saw two primary school girls, brown skin, pushing two helpless, equally brown skin babies in a twin-stroller down the hill without chasing after it and away they went! This is not a poem.

On Wolfram|Alpha

2009-05-19T12:28:00.004-06:00

"Today's Wolfram|Alpha is the first step in an ambitious, long-term project to make all systematic knowledge immediately computable by anyone. You enter your question or calculation, and Wolfram|Alpha uses its built-in algorithms and growing collection of data to compute the answer."

Saw this marvel gaining hype on CNN yesterday. Very nice to have but not something I could use on a daily basis like Google or Wikipedia. Check out Mashable's Top Ten Wolfram Alpha Easter Eggs. Would like to see what the masses make of this thing. Reminds me of the attention Cuil was getting before launch. Remember, Cuil was once dubbed as Google's search engine rival. Funny.

18 Titles and Counting

2009-05-17T15:43:00.003-06:00

Crap!

2009-05-07T13:43:00.003-06:00

Last July the ophthalmologist prescribed me glasses for life. My vision got bad in high school where I had to use glasses for reading. Wait. That's not right. I was born with bad eyes. Color blindness to be exact.

Being colorblind means that I have trouble distinguishing between colors. Some people have problems with one or two primary colors. Color blindness is hereditary, passed down by women who are almost immune to it, and has no cure. Take a test, maybe you have it.

Does it affect me? Here's a scenario. Tracy asks me to get a light green shirt for the baby. I open the drawer and everything looks green only in different shades. When in reality there's green, light green, orange, some red, khaki. Then without asking for help, I start reasoning. I pick up the orange shirt, "this one can't be green because it has a bit of red in it", ... and I usually end up taking two or three of them back to her.

So yes, it does affect me a lot. For one, I could never become a pilot. I also have problems reading traffic lights. And the irony here is... I'm a graphic designer! Ah well.

Today I was excited for a bit (yes, even I get excited) because, after an eternity of torturing my eyes with a terrible piece of glass (courtesy of Hoy Eye Center), I finally got a decent pair of frames from the US. It wasn't my first preference but in the end, the Oakley Gasket would suffice.

And I won't get my lenses at Hoy either! My experience with Hoy Eye Center (four years ago) has been the shittiest of shitty experiences. Dr. Hoy is, at best, a shark disguised in shiny leather shoes and a fancy pansy office. I feel suckered. We bought some expensive products from him once that didn't even last a year. So much for his designer brand frames. His lenses looked and felt as checomaleco as the frames and service. Instead, go to Chetumal, ask for H1N1 (kidding). Chet is better and cheaper. If you need contact information just post a comment.

Oakley Gasket eye glasses.