Taking Care of You

noreply@blogger.com (Suzanne Sergis) — Tue, 01 May 2012 11:11:00 +0000

Whatever we plant in our subconscious mind and nourish with repetition and emotion will one day become a reality.

- Earl Nightingale

Until next time...Take Care Of You!

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Quote to Reflect Upon (Apr12)

noreply@blogger.com (Suzanne Sergis) — Sun, 01 Apr 2012 11:11:00 +0000

Be sure to taste your words before you spit them out.
- Unknown

Until next time...Take Care Of You!

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Quote to Reflect Upon (Mar12)

noreply@blogger.com (Suzanne Sergis) — Thu, 01 Mar 2012 12:11:00 +0000

It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all—in which case, you fail by default.
- J. K. Rowling

Until next time...Take Care Of You!

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Quote to Reflect Upon (Feb12)

noreply@blogger.com (Suzanne Sergis) — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 12:11:00 +0000

Celebrate what you want to see more of.
- Tom Peters

Until next time...Take Care Of You!

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Quote to Reflect Upon (Jan12)

noreply@blogger.com (Suzanne Sergis) — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 12:11:00 +0000

Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better (wo)man.
- Benjamin Franklin

Until next time...Take Care Of You!

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Quote to Reflect Upon (Dec11)

noreply@blogger.com (Suzanne Sergis) — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 12:11:00 +0000

Keep your thoughts positive

because your thoughts become your words.

Keep your words positive

because your words become your behaviors.

Keep your behaviors positive

because your behaviors become your habits.

Keep your habits positive

because your habits become your values.

Keep your values positive

because your values become your destiny.

- Mahatma Gandhi

Until next time...Take Care Of You!

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Quote to Reflect Upon (Nov11)

noreply@blogger.com (Suzanne Sergis) — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 11:11:00 +0000

As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives.
- Henry David Thoreau

Until next time...Take Care Of You!

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Quote to Reflect Upon (Oct11)

noreply@blogger.com (Suzanne Sergis) — Sat, 01 Oct 2011 11:11:00 +0000

There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.
- Edith Wharto

Until next time...Take Care Of You!

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Quote to Reflect Upon (Sept11)

noreply@blogger.com (Suzanne Sergis) — Thu, 01 Sep 2011 11:11:00 +0000

Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.
– Maria Robinson

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Quote to Reflect Upon (Aug10)

noreply@blogger.com (Suzanne Sergis) — Mon, 01 Aug 2011 11:11:00 +0000

Be less curious about people and more curious about ideas.
- Marie Curie

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TCOY Lessons From My Favorite Bloggers (Jul11)

noreply@blogger.com (Suzanne Sergis) — Wed, 27 Jul 2011 11:11:00 +0000

At my day job, 2 of the 3 administrative people in my office are new as one retired and one "got married and moved away". It has been fun getting to know new people and seeing what assets they bring to the work mix, and answering question upon question while still keeping up on my own work. Late March through mid-September is a "crazy busy" time of year for me, typically. Thankfully, one of the new staff has been a terrific help to balance the workload more efficiently and I have not been overwhelmed. What a delightful change!

Relationships
From Corey at Simple Marriage:
K.I.S.S. – The art of non-sexual touch
But in a marriage, there’s more to life than sex...A major component of a fulfilling marriage is the connection you sustain with your partner...In my experience, most men will report that sex is a way to gain closer connection with their wife. While most women would state they want a closer connection to be more interested in sex...Incorporating more non-sexual touch in marriage will increase the level of connection.
As a woman, I completely agree with the need for a strong connection outside of "fun time". As I've told my husband, my view on marriage is that "It's you and me against the world". Non-sexual touch is one way that we reinforce our connection and serves as a reminder to each other that we are still sure of our commitment.

24 Keys To Remaining Friends With Your Spouse
Popular culture would say we should start with strong lust, but if your goal is a marriage that will last, friendship has more staying power than desire and needs to be acted on first, middle, and last. Paul Coleman...says, “Friendship is a form of intimacy. It represents a sharing, an openness, a willingness to be vulnerable. It requires a degree of trust. Friends show caring to one another by their availability, their thoughtfulness.”
Once I realized this on my own, I thought "But, of course, we should want to be and remain friends." However, not all relationship participants do value this. And those are the kind of relationships that baffle me. Why would I want that much intimacy with someone and not be friends?

Finances
From Sally at Already Pretty
Do You Buy Treats For Yourself When Overwhelmed?
And this combination of factors meant that I indulged in the “treat” mentality for much of this past spring. In a string of exasperated internal tantrums, I allowed myself to repeatedly decide, “I have been working my ass off without a break for what seems like forever, and I deserve a treat, damn it.” Historically, my “treat yourself” weaknesses are food and shopping...And while I nabbed some amazing deals on wearables during this haze of treats, what I really wanted to purchase was time. If I could buy a gift card for myself that would give me a week to just laze around with my cats, read a few novels, and do an obscene amount of napping, I’d be thrilled beyond all human comprehension.
Keeping in touch with ourselves allows us to know when we are feeling out of balance. It is especially important to identify whether our "coping mechanisms" are 1) effective and 2) worth their cost. If either is not true, then use your awareness to determine what is the true source and develop a strategy for minimizing its influence. Like Sal mentions in the article, her treats were not bad per se but she did determine that they were doing nothing to eliminate the problem and could, in the future, lead to other problems. By identifying the exact problem, she can use her awareness to heal herself instead of just addressing the symptoms, and that's taking care of yourself.

From Get Rich Slowly:
Reader Story: Estate Planning—The First Month
What would happen if you, your spouse, a parent, someone who you shared a financial life with died today? Not next week after the car payment is sent in. Not next month when you’ve finally gotten around to writing down all of your passwords and account numbers. Not next year when you’ve updated your will. What would happen if they died today?
This is my biggest (but haven't done anything about!) concern; followed by getting a will done. Have I reached the point of deciding that doing the work is more worthwhile than living with the procrastination and accompanying fear, worry, and possibly regret? Well, I can't say. Time will tell. Though I have discussed this with my husband and, hopefully, between these 2 procrastinators we can get it done.

From Trent at The Simple Dollar:
Twelve Excuses
Edward on Facebook asks “How about a small list of justifications and excuses people make for not getting their finances in order or for buying crap they don’t need?”...I started just making a list of the common ones I hear and came up with a fairly round number of twelve (after merging the ones that were essentially the same). You’d be surprised how often I see these excuses right in the emails of people looking for personal finance help!

Self Improvement
From Get Rich Slowly:
What Do You Care What Other People Think?
Instead of comparing yourself to others, compare your Present Self to your Past Self. Your goal is to constantly improve your own life, if only in little ways (emphasis is mine)...It’s easy to become your own biggest critic, especially when you think others are doing better than you are...Don’t think that everyone around you is living with a net carbon deficit, reading 400 books a year, helping to end world hunger, and clipping coupons to buy the ingredients needed to make phyllo dough from scratch. Because they’re not...Instead of criticizing yourself, notice what you’re doing right. Be your own personal fan club. Choose your values and follow them as best you can. Keep growing, learning, and stretching. Live well by living wisely. Be nice to yourself. And remember that it does not matter what other people think.
Exactly!

Playing To Your Strengths
J.D.’s mentioned this philosophy before in a roundabout way. For instance, in his review of The 4-Hour Workweek, he quoted this passage: “Emphasize strengths, don’t fix weaknesses. Most people are good at a handful of things and utterly miserable at most. [...] It is far more lucrative and fun to leverage your strengths instead of attempting to fix all the chinks in your armor.” J.D.’s admonition to do what works for you is nothing more than a call to play to your strengths...Buckingham argues that our innate strengths and weaknesses are established fairly early on in life. Yes, we can improve on our weaknesses, but we’ll never completely overcome them. He believes we’re better off focusing on our strengths. As he puts it, “You will grow the most in your areas of greatest strength.”
An interesting look on career choice and about many of the choices we have to make in general. It does take more effort to overcome a weakness than to go with the flow one gets when engaged in something we enjoy doing.

Awareness
From Lysa:
All Twisted Up
I once had a toy car that had a twist knob on it’s bumper. With each twist the tension inside the car ratcheted higher and higher so by the time I released it on the floor, the car went buzzerk. It shot across the floor with no regard to anything in its path...Nothing stood a chance in its wake until the tension knob inside untwisted completely and the car slowed to a halt...Sometimes I feel like I have that same kind of twist knob inside my heart. I let things build inside until I’ve been twisted one to many times and then wham! Off I go in an emotional fit with no regard to anything in my path.
I know of some people like this and they really do just erupt and let it all flow out like hot lava (ahem, my husband). If you can relate, this would be an amazing awareness opportunity to seek out new ways of responding (versus reacting) to your stimuli overloads.

From David at Raptitude:
How To See Straighter By Crossing Your Eyes
I would go ahead and watch the movie, and whenever I was getting a bit freaked out, I would cross my eyes just slightly enough to blur the scene, and the scariness was gone, instantly...It wasn’t long before I found myself doing this as a reflex during other unpleasant scenes in life...A profane and obnoxious cell phone conversation across from me on the bus. An argument ahead of me in the queue, between an unreasonable customer and an unreasonable employee...The interesting thing is that for many of these situations, it was not the visual element that was the unpleasant part. My hearing didn’t blur along with my vision, I could still listen attentively to their grating nonsense, if I wanted. But blurring my eyes for a moment still made it easy not to react to it. I had a choice whether to get my feelings involved with it, and so I felt no need to get away from it, to tell the speaker off in my head, or to shut him up...It is an experiential demonstration that all the ups and downs in life — all things that can possibly happen –are really just reactions to configurations of sounds, shapes and feelings. It’s all just content, always renewing itself, always turning over in front of us. If we could just stay aware of that, interacting deliberately where warranted but without getting taken in by the torrent, we could spare ourselves so much suffering.
When you shift your awareness, it is amazing how the scene in front of us, aka life, changes. Suddenly we aren't in the show anymore; just an audience member watching the people moving, saying things and other stuff happening around it.

From Mary Ann at Simple Marriage:
Expectations Equal Unhappiness
A good working definition of expectations is planned disappointment...When what we expect to happen does not happen, we are disappointed and we suffer pain at some level...Ironically, we are also likely to be unhappy even when our expectations ARE met!...We are most grateful for the good things that come our way that we did not expect to happen...If you expect your spouse to help with the housework, you will be disappointed, mad, sad, or angry when your spouse does not help you with the housework, but you won’t necessarily be grateful when your spouse does help with the housework...Whatever you focus on, grows. Grow your happiness by lowering your expectations and growing your gratefulness.
Interesting to consider, no? Just changing our way of thinking in such a small way produces a big result.

Until next time...Take Care Of You!

Photo Credit: Iron Design

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Quote to Reflect Upon (Jul10)

noreply@blogger.com (Suzanne Sergis) — Fri, 01 Jul 2011 11:11:00 +0000

Every time you don't follow your inner guidance, you feel a loss of energy, loss of power, a sense of spiritual deadness.

- Shakti Gawain

Until next time...Take Care Of You!

Photo Credit: Light Reflection

What are your thoughts on this topic?

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TCOY Lessons From My Favorite Bloggers (Jun11)

noreply@blogger.com (Suzanne Sergis) — Mon, 27 Jun 2011 11:11:00 +0000

Ron Gutman shares scientific proof of the hidden power of smiling. "Smiling is one of the most basic biological uniform expressions of all humans...Charles Darwin's theory states 'That the act of smiling itself actually makes us feel better rather than smiling being a result of feeling good.'" (Found on Ten Pieces of Inspiration at The Simple Dollar.)

Relationships
From Corey at Simple Marriage:
6 Ways To Self-Soothe Your Way To A Better Marriage
Think back to when you first began your current relationship...It’s likely that you believed you had found the answer to life’s problems, you’d found a partner to share in life’s journey, you’d never again be alone, and it would be smooth sailing from here on out...Here’s a truism for Simple Marriage: if you look to another person to provide fulfillment, you will begin to focus on the failings of that person as the cause of your own disappointment...Your ability to self-validate and self-soothe is absolutely vital to maintaining long term passion in marriage.
My husband and I just came through the other side of a long, rough time in our marriage. I do believe the ability to self-soothe is what saved me from dissolving my marriage!

From Kara/Simple Kids:
The Three Types of Friends That Every Parent Needs
The important thing, I believe, is that every parent has someone that they feel safe being real and honest with during the sticky, stressful, far from perfect times of our lives. Whether that is a spouse, a family member, or a friend, we need people in our lives whose support doesn’t come with conditions...We need that friend who would, as Brene Brown says, move a body for us.
Rather than chime in with my own thoughts, I'll quote Jennifer from I Choose Change who describes this so well in The ABC's of Friendship: "In my view, there are three types of friends. There are A friends, B friends, and C friends. It’s important to know these types of friends because in tough times as well as happy times, your friendships are what matter MOST...We need friends and family in our life because they help us feel connected, loved, and appreciated. However, without a sufficient amount of each type of friend, especially “A” friends, life can feel incredibly lonely. Even with many acquaintances around, it’s lonely when you feel like there’s no one to call on and talk to about your deepest worries, woes and life challenges."

Finances
From Get Rich Slowly:
Risks That Can Derail Your Retirement
In this post, we discuss the most common causes of financial derailment, and what you can do to keep your plan on course. While many of the solutions are specific to each particular risk, there’s one line of defense that will protect your financial empire regardless of the method of assault, and that is a big, fat emergency fund. You’ve heard it before, but we’ll say it again: Have three to six months’ worth of living expenses in cash, ready to be deployed when the possible becomes the present.
Having an emergency fund of some sort and amount is good for everyone. For me, it's a peace-of-mind thing that is vitally important to the quality of my life.

From Dan Kadlec/Bank of Dad
5 Reasons to Budget (Even If You Think You Don't Need One)
I should lead by example. But I don’t. Certainly, I know our family income and keep a running estimate of our fixed expenses and discretionary spending...Why not? Well, it’s a lot of work. Besides, we make ends meet every month and manage to grow savings as well. In other words: it’s not an emergency. But it turns out that I’m a perfect candidate for a budget — precisely because it’s not an emergency...These major life changes are all emergencies of a sort and typically call for a personal spending response. Yet being pro-active is almost always smarter than being reactive.
Knowing how your money flows in and out will help you in times of a real emergency and in other useful ways as well. It has been one of the most positive components in my financial turnaround. As I've said before, find the financial strategy that does work for you---that motivates you, utilizes your strengths, does not work against you, etc.--and move forward on it!

From Make Use Of:
Citibank Gets Hacked, Admits Compromised Data A Month Later
"Speaking on the Sophos Naked Security blog, Christopher Wisniewski warned:
Customers affected by this incident should be on high alert for scams, phishing and phone calls purporting to be from Citibank and their subsidiaries. While Citi customers aren’t likely to have fraudulent charges against their accounts as a result of this breach, they are likely to encounter social engineering attempts to enable further crime. Considering that the attackers have your name, account number and other sensitive information they are able to provide a very convincing cover story to victims.">
FYI!

Diet & Exercise
From Pick The Brain:
6 Foods To Help Improve Your Brain Memory Power
Regardless of how old you are, you can make new brain cells...Keep in mind that all cells need nutrients to continue their growth. This means your brain needs foods that will give it the building blocks it needs to work right. When you have more neurons and connections within your brain, it means you have a stronger memory and your mind can work better.
I love learning about the science behind how our body uses food as fuel. And who couldn't use all the information they can get to help boost brain memory power!

From Jo-Lynne/Musings of a Housewife:
The Unhealthy Truth: A Review
"I think what is so frustrating about this particular issue is that I feel so duped — duped by the food industry and the government agencies that are charged with keeping us safe but end up being so heavily influenced by the special interests groups and the food and drug industries that they have sorely neglected their duties, and now we have two entire generations suffering for it...Robyn, however, wasn’t satisfied with this. A former equity analyst, she immediately put her skills to use and set out to discover why food allergies are suddenly so pervasive in our society...I love it when Robyn says, “I was raised on capitalism and the Wall Street Journal.” I think this is why I regard her work so highly. She is a mom, like me, who trusted and revered her government, like me, and found herself and her children victims of the corruption and greed that all too easily transforms a noble institution...I won’t lie. There were times when I found this book horribly discouraging. But Robyn doesn’t leave us hanging. She goes into ways we can all contribute to the change that must be made if we’re going to turn the health of our nation’s children back around and going in the right direction...Robyn is fond of saying, “No one can do everything, but everybody can do one thing.”...The hope is that eventually, consumer demand will be such that these companies will change how they formulate our foods too."

From Jo-Lynne at Musings of a Housewife's Good Reads:
Thoughts On The New USDA My Plate Guidelines
Here is the problem with our government's suggestions on what we should eat. They need us to consume the most of what they subsidize the most, and it's gotten them into a dilemma...how can they tell us to eat local, buy mostly produce and grass-fed meats and still hold the hand of their most powerful constituents? They can't. So as long as agriculture is dictated and funded by the US government, we will continue to see double standards like the new My Plate guideline as a means to gloss over a major political contradiction...Those who manufacture processed, unhealthy foods which appear cheap need to be held accountable. It is not the job of the public to spend ten hours in the grocery store reading and comparing labels to ensure they are putting a worthwhile item in their cart...In summation, the consumer is not the only one needing a lesson in what is appropriate to put on the table. I believe the vast majority of the public is doing the very best they can to stay well despite all of the many mixed messages thrown at them.
What are your thoughts on the new USDA "My Plate" guidelines? I liked the visual change; a plate does represent the idea of food-to-mouth and, therefore, body in an understandable way. I also noticed that the wedges weren't of equal size and the larger ones represented subsidized industries. From the knowledge I've learned about our food and how it fuels this amazing machine of ours, I know those are not the wedges that should be bigger if we are actually talking about consuming food that is best for our body rather than the food industry.

From Kara/Simple Kids:
5 Things Your Children Can Teach You About Fitness
When it comes to folks who know about moving your body, children put most fitness gurus to shame...My two kids have taught me oodles about how to make fitness easier and more enjoyable....So no need to pay a hefty personal trainer fee. Make use of the real experts. Keep an eye on how your children go through their day. Learn from them. Mimic them. You’ll be surprised at the fitness results you gain.
I think I'll be paying attention to my personal trainers more. They do inspire me with their ability to always be moving!

Self Improvement
From Pick The Brain:
Plan A Mental Health Weekend--5 Steps To De-stress Your Life
However, there are days when the number of hats feels a little too tight to be comfortable. Days when the need for down time is overwhelming and the desire to do things that bring joy into your life grows stronger and stronger. When time to refresh and energize takes center stage, schedule a mental health weekend. Toss your hats in a corner and take a break to restore some of the calm, clarity, and focus in your life...Step #1: Make yourself a priority.
I love the idea of a mental health weekend, although I believe in living with Step #1 as a constant priority rather than a "tune-up task"! If one does, then the recipe for a mental health WEEKEND becomes the one for a calm and centered LIFE. Wouldn't you agree that it's better to Take Care Of You (TCOY!) rather than just wait until you're broke and then "fix it"?

12 Fail-Proof Ways To Strengthen Your Resolve
Accept full responsibility for your actions. Most of what happens to us in life is a result of our own choices. Yes, there are some things that are out of our control, but even then, we can choose how to react to them. We are not victims. We have an endless array of choices that can change the quality of our lives. There is tremendous power in that.
This is the piece of the puzzle that many lose, hence they don't get to see the full picture. Learning to let go of relying on the victim mentality is the biggest self-improvement change one could ever make, in my opinion.

From Trent/The Simple Dollar:
Goals, Values and Methods
These goals are powerful for us because they’re directly in accordance with our deepest personal values...It is those deep values that we reflect on every time we make a financial choice that takes us closer to one of our goals...The connection between the personal values that define who we are and the goals we have set for the future set our actions for today...It is the reinforcement from both sides of the equation, however, that makes it much easier for us to make good choices today and stay on track for tomorrow...The overriding theme here is simple: our values lead us to our financial goals. The goals come from the values, not vice versa.
Whether you're a goalmaker or not, it does make sense that important life changes have the strongest chance of actually occuring when they are in alignment with our values. Identify what's really the most important to you and orient your goals (or life changes ;-) to take advantage of this strength.

Five Elements of a Successful Goal (From My Experience)
4. Take your first action within a day of coming up with the plan.
It’s easy to think up an excuse or to postpone the start of a plan. “I’ll start next week because this week is really stressful.” “I’ll start on the first so that the calendar can guide me.”...Those moves are silly and often self-defeating. Why? During that period between now and whenever you think you should start your goal, you burn off a lot of the fervor and motivation you have for getting started. That rush of excitement you get when you’re really into an idea is something that you should capitalize on by starting immediately...Don’t wait for doubts to catch up. Don’t wait for the “perfect” time to start. There is no more perfect time than right this moment.
Yes and yes! Have you experienced this? You are psyched to make a change, do something, create, clean, organize, etc. and then find that nothing became of it? Usually, "waiting for the right time to start" was the culprit.

Awareness
From David/Raptitude:
Our Lives Are Not What We Think
So most of the time, we’re not really perceiving the physical details of the moment, we’re perceiving a sprawling mental map of what we think of our lives, of which the present is a small part. It feels like life is made of millions of moments like this, linked by cause and effect, extending each way from here and now. This leads to two huge problems: 1) a preoccupation with these imagined non-present moments, and 2) an astronomical devaluation of the present moment...This means consciously downgrading the importance of the story you tell yourself about who you are, what you deserve and what you can expect, and instead cultivating an earnest curiosity about what is actually happening now.
Have you ever experienced a moment like he described in his "family dinner" experience? I have. I usually only experience this for several minutes where I'm viewing everything going on so passively; in those moments I even see my body or a reflection of my face as totally different than me. It's surreal and very unsettling, to tell you the truth. We are so used to a chatty mind and the distraction of being sentient beings that suddenly becoming, well, nothing can be exciting or disorienting. It's up to you to choose to remain in the moment and experience it the way David describes or to wish it would hurry up and go away, so you can return to your "normal" way of thinking & feeling. It's one of the only true moments when it is up to you, not circumstances.

From Leo/Zen Habits:
The Illusion of Control
It’s amazing how often we think we’re in control of something when really we aren’t...Control is an illusion, as I’ve said many times before....When we are in the midst of chaos, let go of the need to control it. Be awash in it, experience it in that moment, try not to control the outcome but deal with the flow as it comes...This might seem like a passive way of living to some, and it’s against our aggressive, productive, goal-oriented cultural nature. If you can’t accept this way of living, that’s OK — many people live their lives with the illusion of control, and not realizing what it is that makes them unhappy or frustrated isn’t the worst thing ever...But if you can learn to live this way, it’s the most freeing thing in the world.
I used to live life this way and then suddenly changed for several years because other life circumstances that made me feel powerless overtook me. I felt so out of balance and finally realized what had happened; I was not living in alignment with who I am. I'm changing once again back to the real me, this kind of person, but I daresay it seemed much easier to fall into the hole than to get out!

From Pick The Brain:
The Importance of Indulging
Don’t always think of indulging for superficial pleasure, begin to indulge because you sincerely want to feel and know on a different level. Indulge in drinking water, don’t just drink the water, admire its beauty, taste every single part of it as it touches your lips, your teeth, your taste buds. Feel it as it goes down your throat and into your entire body as it helps sustain your life and quench your thirst. If the elevator at work is broken and you have to take the stairs, indulge in that action. Walk up the stairs with a sense of pride, know that at that moment you are alive, that your legs are pushing you up in a vertical motion, you are defying gravity by moving upward, your heart is pumping the blood inside of you in order to keep you moving...Next time you come across a simple moment in your life, indulge in it in the way that I have stated above. Don’t just go through the motions, actually live the motions, be that moment....Indulge every once in a while in the pleasures that you don’t normally see as a pleasure.
Growing your awareness and letting the "simple pleasures" in, to your thoughts, your sense of well-being and your heart, bring more joy than can be described.

From Corey at Simple Marriage:
Honestly, How Honest Are You?
The world in which we live is filled with lies...The problem with lying is that it creates an alternate reality. And trying to keep up with multiple realities is anything but simple and easy.
I am honest, both because I believe in being that way and because of the statement above; I just don't have the ability to keep up with real life and "the other one". I describe it as "brutally honest" because so many people are used to some variation of truth and, therefore, ill-equipped to handle actual truth. I'm not mean or rude; I will just give you an honest answer said in the most tactful way I can come up with at the moment. I also strive to be truthful in my actions and thoughts as well. Just a little about me...and Corey's post is definitely a must-read.

From Make Use Of:
6 Websites That Can Help You Become An Educated, Ethical & Safe Shopper
In the 21st century and beyond, sustainable living is more than just a buzzword. It is becoming a way of life. But sustainable living and consumerism hardly go hand in hand...But there are a few websites out there that can help us battle it out. They educate us and make us aware of what’s good, what’s bad, and what’s green. Some alert us of banned chemicals and product recalls. If awareness is the first step, let’s take a deeper look with these six sites that can in the very least make us educated shoppers.

House & Family
From Jo-Lynne/Musings of a Housewife:
The Grass Isn't Always Greener
I had to look onto my child’s big watery brown eyes and make a decision. Would I practice tough love and force him to own up to his mistake, or would I cave to the emotion of the situation and let him out of it?...At one point, I almost backed down, but finally I decided to stand my ground. I didn’t lecture, I didn’t yell, and I didn’t use sarcasm...What I WANTED to do was pull his head down to my chest and rub his back and tell him it’s okay, never mind, let’s just go home. But instead, I sat patiently and quietly while my child collected himself and prepared to do what he had to do.
As Jo-Lynne describes, this part of parenting is so incredibly hard. We want to teach them life lessons when the consequences are small, however, they are our babies and we want to shield their little hearts from this kind of thing. Kudos to her for doing what she needed to do.

From Kara/Simple Kids:
3 Strategies for Dealing With Criticism
Parents especially seem to invite scrutiny from others. Everyone has an opinion on how children should be raised and some of us find ourselves getting advice (and lectures) practically from the moment we announce that we’re starting a family.
Ain't this the truth! Thankfully, I don't have to face criticism like this from my own friends and family. I have heard horror stories from others though and it boggles my mind that people think this kind of behavior is OK.

From The Center For Parenting Education
Developmental Stages: The Roller Coaster of Equilibrium and Disequilibrium
Did you ever feel as if parenting your children was like riding a roller coaster? At one point you are enjoying your offspring and the next you are wondering what ever happened to your sweet little girl or your charming little boy.
My 9 year old (oldest, boy) is struggling right now so I've been doing some reading up. I haven't read this much about child development and parenting since my kids were babies & toddlers! It's reminding me that, as they grow, we've still got to figure out what's going on with them; in their minds and with their bodies. I tell ya, dealing with my son's negative attitude is bringing out the poor side of my parenting (the more you argue with your child, the better your child will become at arguing)! Posts like the one above, this one and this one too are certainly helping me to feel more understanding of his side of things and to teach myself how to parent him better during this time. Also, here is the closest thing to a "kids manual" that I've seen and thought I'd share it too!

Life Clutter
From Unclutterer:
The Keystone Demise
In architecture, the keystone is the center stone of an arch. It is the piece that is vital to the arch’s success because it makes it possible for the arch to hold its shape and to bear the weight of the ceiling, wall, bridge, and/or doorway. If you remove the keystone, the arch fails, usually bringing down the entire surrounding structure with it...The Keystone Demise is almost always the cause of an organizing system failure. One small piece is disrupted/broken/ compromised and in a matter of days it is as if the organizing system didn’t exist at all...As someone who wants to keep your home and office organized, it’s your job to immediately identify when a keystone is out of place or broken and fix the situation.
I don't seem to notice this effect for people like me who aren't, by nature, messy. However, it is completely the case for my husband and kids who are. I just witnessed this effect earlier this week. One or two things left out from the morning made each of them see the house as messy. Each person acknowledged that seeing this or that out did make it easier to put whatever next to it. Even though neither one belonged out from its home (aka dirty cup in the dishwasher, a blanket used in the morning put back in the blanket box, etc.)

TCOY on the outside
From Sally at Already Pretty:
Self-Love or Self-Care First?
Learning to love and accept and respect yourself is a highly personal process, and I’m sure that there are as many paths to self-love as there are people following them. Learning to care for and nourish and celebrate yourself is also a highly personal process, and countless actions and philosophies can lead us to cultivate those behaviors, too. No method is more correct or effective than any other, of course, but I’ve been thinking recently about how someone who is still mired in self-loathing might get started extracting herself from the mire.
Either path gets you to love and care for yourself, and either path can be right for you; which one depends on you.

Until next time...Take Care Of You!

Photo Credit: Iron Design

What are your thoughts on this topic?

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Quote to Reflect Upon (Jun10)

noreply@blogger.com (Suzanne Sergis) — Wed, 01 Jun 2011 11:11:00 +0000

Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present.

- Jim Rohn

Until next time...Take Care Of You!

Photo Credit: Light Reflection

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TCOY Lessons From My Favorite Bloggers (May11)

noreply@blogger.com (Suzanne Sergis) — Fri, 27 May 2011 11:11:00 +0000

Lysa shared her thoughts on the "big difference between writing and connecting... Let’s be honest, no one wants their words to be scanned. We want them to be read, ingested, and best of all digested. Digested to the point where they become part of what the reader is pondering for that day. Maybe even part of what the reader brings up in conversation with their friends...That’s when you know your words have movement. Words that leap from the flat page and start traveling from this conversation to the next… those are words that connect." I am a conduit between a writer and readers other than myself, allowing their messages to Take Care Of Yourself to connect with those that will be moved by their words.

Relationships
From Corey/Simple Marriage:
Married Lifestyle Design
Every person has within them a desire to be with others. Hanging out with friends, talking about life with coworkers, sharing serious thoughts with close friends, and sharing intimate moments with a lover. Whatever it may be in life, it’s often better when shared with another person...The key to lifestyle design for married people rests in the ability of each person learning to handle more time together as well as time apart.
That is key to a successful marriage, I feel. Do you have the alone time you require, whether it be a little or a lot? Do you feel you have a connected marriage to your partner? As my husband has learned, my motto for our marriage is: It's you and me against the world. Needing to be together often is not a requirement though we still are, because that's how we like it.
The Paradox of Relationships
When you approach relationships with too much emphasis on the other person and their reaction, response or validation – you create the chameleon. And being in a relationship as a chameleon, or with one, almost ensures that neither partner will experience the intimacy and love both are seeking in the relationship.
Neither my husband nor I are chameleons. I have known a few, though, so I'm sharing this post for those who would benefit by reading this article.
K.I.S.S. - The 10 Second Kiss
What I’m talking about is the kissing like you used to do...The kissing that is just kissing. No groping her back side or trying to get a hand in her pants or shirt. And no trying this as a segue into sex...It will send shock waves deep down inside her, and you. It will allow her to get comfortable in your arms and your presence. And it will likely provide a deeper connection with each other.
Whether this is your thing or not, it's worth remembering the take-away idea: make a physical connection outside the bedroom.

From Dustin/Simple Marriage:
Why Is Sex So Important To You?
Generally speaking, men need to have sex to feel close to their mate, while women need to feel close to their mate to have sex...Very funny, God.
This little blurb says a lot. For one thing, that the differences in intimacy needs should be considered. And, for another, it shouldn't be all serious business either. Keeping the communication lines open, having needs met and having fun while doing so is what it is about.

Finances
From Get Rich Slowly:
How To Build A Better Budget
And remember: If one budget doesn’t work, try another. Don’t just blindly use a budget from somebody else — even Dave Ramsey or Mary Hunt. Use their ideas as a starting point, but tailor them so that your budget fits your life.
The key word in the title is "better". For some of us, reading this post might lead to the creation of your very first budget or to refining what you've got so that it serves you better. Mine has the basic structure all put together but I do refine it as life changes. And it always does.

From Dan Kadlec/Bank of Dad
Time Travel: The Key To Financial Security
Perhaps most interesting, the research shows, is that the savings effect is nil when people are shown age-processed images of other people. Only when they see their own future selves do they change their savings behavior...The good news is that you actually haven’t gone anywhere yet; there is still plenty time to change the future.
I found this quite cool. I think I've done pretty well trying to make sure that future me, and maybe even my heirs, will be taken care of approriately. However, I've never really imagined "old me" living on the retirement I've set up. I just might have to use my imagination and daydream a bit about this.
5 Ways Gas Prices and Mental Accounting Are Setting You Back
“It’s important that you learn to view all money equally,” write Gary Belsky and Thomas Gilovich in their book Why Smart People Make Big Money Mistakes. “The more time you have to think of money as savings — hard earned or otherwise — the less likely you’ll be to spend it recklessly.”...In most cases, mental accounting errors aren’t huge...But they chip away at your ability to save month in and month out, which is the only way most folks have a chance at achieving financial security.
As J.D. Roth says "smart money management is more about mind than it is about math." Learning about the psychology of money (the hows & whys of what we spend) has been an enlightening experience for me. This article just fits another piece of the puzzle.
Retirement Plan: Delay The Date But Not The Dream
People in their 60s typically confront the retirement years with a choice: quit now with less money than they had hoped, or work and save longer until they have the resources they feel they need. T. Rowe Price found that while working longer must be part of the solution, saving more need not. By working longer and ramping up spending, not saving, you can begin to enjoy your later years right away — to practice retirement — with little impact on how much longer you’ll need to stay on the job.
This is what I have tentatively planned to do. I will continue working, though maybe in a different type of job altogether. However, I will be devoting more time and money to what I enjoy while continuing to save.

From Trent/The Simple Dollar:
Overlooking the Free Things
Take today and spend some time enjoying the free things your life gives you. Take a walk outside instead of firing up the television. Turn off your cell phone and have a face-to-face conversation with your neighbor. Watch the sun set. Make yourself a meal that fills your house with wonderful aromas. Take a hot shower and feel the warmth on your skin. Turn on a radio to an oldies station, pull your wife into your arms, and dance with her for a while as you whisper in her ear how lovely she is today...It is through the experience of the infinite beauty of the free things available in our lives that we can deeply appreciate what a dollar is and what you can use it for.
Exactly.

From Pick The Brain:
Be A Peaceful CFO of Your Home
Our oldest daughter has outgrown her bicycle. We were talking about getting a new bike and she asked how much one costs. When I told her, she thought for a moment and knew how many hours dad would work for her bike. I thought that was pretty cool. It doesn’t matter who pays for it. Our money is her money. She recognizes the value of life used in exchange to have something. She values time; she will never waste money....I am training my children to be peaceful CFOs of their own money, lives, and businesses.
My kids are getting old enough to start becoming really aware of money; how we get it, how we use it and how we balance now with later. I've responded too emotionally about it and am trying to teach without overwhelming them. I'm not a Paranoid CFO as described, however, I haven't done a good job of teaching them without seeming to say my way is the only way. If that makes any sense.

Self Improvement
From Trent/The Simple Dollar:
20 Ways to Start A Conversation and Build Into A Connection
Crossing that barrier from being nervously awkward around someone I barely know to having a new friend (or at least a new person to associate with) seems like a gigantic leap for me at times. I know that many introverted people feel exactly the same way...Yet, over time, I’ve built up a lot of little tricks to help me past this...I don’t view these things as some kind of “act.” I view them as tools that help me to click with others in a way that I never could without them. It opens the door to relationships that my own introverted nature would have killed at the start.
This is an area of my life that I happen to be focusing on as well. It can be so difficult to talk when you'd rather just stay inside yourself. However, once the awkwardness is passed, it does feel amazing to have that connection with someone. If you goof up, please be sure to show yourself some grace and realize you're doing the best you can...and that, with practice, you'll do better next time!
The Technique
Over and over again in life, we find one way of doing something that works and don’t bother seeking a better solution. We assume the way we’re doing it must be “good enough” and we keep repeating it until we’re either slapped in the face with a better solution or we discover that the way we were doing things is causing other problems...Things like this are little time investments, yes. However, they pay dividends every single day...What sort of techniques are we going to learn today?
Whether it be tips & tricks to make getting through the mundane that much quicker or finding a way to do something you thought you couldn't, never stop learning as they say.
From The Simple Dollar's Weekly Roundup:
The Seven Stages of Failing at Self-Improvement
"Self-improvement isn’t just a matter of waking up one morning and deciding that some major change in your life is going to happen. You’ll almost always fail at least a little. The trick is to always keep going."
I am also a "Pick The Brain" reader. I liked his description of self-improvement so I shared it this way!

From Unclutterer:
Four Reasons You May Be Missing Deadlines and How to Fix These Problems
If you need to work on missing your deadlines, your solution may be one of these easy-to-identify (and hopefully correct) issues.

From Pick The Brain:
45 Quick & Easy Mood Lifters
Slipped into the doldrums?...Feeling sad and low and lonely?...We all feel this way from time to time. Often, all we need is a good distraction to shake us out of the funk.
No need to be down to choose something to do from this list...all are worthwhile for any mood!
Instant Confidence: Just Add Water
Review the self-dissing comments you are having in your head. You know they’re there! Do you judge yourself? Are you second guessing? Are you being downright mean? I am ready to bet that if you spoke to your friends the way you speak to yourself, you would be pretty short on friends.
It is amazing how critical our self-talk can be. Showing yourself grace and understanding that you are doing the best you can at that time is key for Taking Care Of You!
Why Goal Setting Is A Complete Waste of Time (unless you do this)
By changing the way you think about the process, you’ve just increased your likelihood of success by a huge margin. You’ll still have some work to do, but now you’re positioned for success. And most importantly we now you have an easy way get your subconscious work for you, not against you.
Some may say that the small change he proposes is just a word substitution to trick the mind. However, for many of us, that little trick WILL produce drastically better results. It's all in the way you play the game.

Awareness
From Get Rich Slowly's Spare Change round-up:
Breaking Free From Consumerist Chains
Either way, we find our path as consumers. And everything is solved by consumption — when we’re stressed, we shop. When we want to be entertained, we buy the entertainment. We buy our food in packages, we fix our failing health by buying exercise clothes and equipment. We fix our debt by buying personal finance books and taking out a second mortgage...What if we could break out of it?...What would life be like without advertising, shopping malls, online shopping, working for large corporations, wearing large logos all over our clothing, having Apple logos over every device we own, watching movies and television shows developed by large corporations and made for the masses?...It would be quieter, maybe, with more free time. Without having to buy so much, we would work less. What a revolutionary concept!...It would be more focused on people instead of stuff. It would be healthier, as we would (likely) move more, get outdoors more, eat less fast food and more real food...That’s all idealizing, of course, but it’s an alternative I could see happening. We’d have to break free of the consumerist mindset first.
Gaining awareness leads you to learning about yourself in ways you didn't foresee. I have learned to have gratitude for the ability/means to be a consumerist while at the same time, breaking away from it by enjoying my life with more of the things that truly matter. And they are not advertised anywhere nor cost a thing.

From Pick The Brain:
10 Life Altering Mind Shifts To Rock Your World
There are some people (like Steve Chandler) who are always trolling for ways to grow and improve their lives. They want to be aware and strive to keep their minds open. Sometimes, however, awareness hits us on the head like a brick, and our minds have to be cracked open. Big life events like a death, job loss, or a relationship break-up, can shock us into awareness and cause a mind shift...If you are in a state of willing awareness right now, then think about these ten mind shifts and whether the timing is right to embrace them in your life.
I've experienced both and I *much* prefer perspective changes that occur because of my own initiative.

From Aileen/Kaizen Vision
Finding Focus In This Age of Distraction
Sometimes distractions are there to pull us away so we can return with a fresh perspective and feel rejuvenated, and other times they are time wasters and energy zappers. Self-awareness will allow you to manage your ambitions, productivity and quality of life. A life of distraction prevents you from having the laser focus needed to achieve your goals and live a full-bodied life.
I like her description of the pros and cons to distraction. It's not all bad; sometimes they do serve us well.

From David/Raptitude:
Procrastination Is Not Laziness
It turns out procrastination is not typically a function of laziness, apathy or work ethic as it is often regarded to be. It’s a neurotic self-defense behavior that develops to protect a person’s sense of self-worth...You see, procrastinators tend to be people who have, for whatever reason, developed to perceive an unusually strong association between their performance and their value as a person. This makes failure or criticism disproportionately painful, which leads naturally to hesitancy when it comes to the prospect of doing anything that reflects their ability — which is pretty much everything.
I'm a recovering perfectionist (a condition that had also led me to being a procrastinator). Since realizing these things about myself and beginning to desire peace more than whatever it was I gained by avoiding the issue, I feel I've grown and developed better coping skills than they ever were to me.
Progress is the Only Protection
Last week’s post on the roots of procrastination has evidently motivated a whole slew of procrastinators to focus at least long enough to comment or email me to say that they feel like the post was describing their own lives...As promised, today I’m going to outline my plan for taking on the procrastination monster, with my 11th Raptitude experiment.
David makes some very valid points in regards to anticipated roadblocks that he may encounter and his plan for action when they do. They might be useful to others as well, so I'm sharing.

From Trent/The Simple Dollar:
Personal Finance and Self-Worth
Your stuff doesn’t define you. It won’t fill the holes you feel in your life. It won’t solve the problems you face. It just makes you feel good for a little while, but then you’re back to where you started (and often in a slightly worse spot)...Instead, your actions define you. If you choose to stand up for yourself and for your dreams, you become the type of person that defines their own future. It’s up to you to make that choice. No one else reaps the rewards from making that choice, and there’s no one else to blame when you don’t.
To me, this part says it all "...become the type of person that defines their own future". Meaning, if you're not born that way, it is an option to become that way. Do you want to be in charge of you?
Making Today Your Masterpiece
Simply put, the idea of making each day your masterpiece means that you try to live each day in a way that I would be content having myself judged upon. In other words, would I be happy if, at the end of my life, my entire personhood was judged on the kind of person I was today? It’s a call to do your best each and every day.
Trent, my dear fellow, this is why I love reading your words. I also live each day in this way, so kudos to us both for sharing more of the good to those around us!
Revisiting the Three Questions That Will Transform Your Life
As I look back on the financial lessons I’ve learned over the past half of a decade, I think these three questions strike very close to the core of all of it. I’ve used them time and time again, not only to evaluate the money decisions I’m making, but to evaluate the life decisions I’m making.
When I attempted reading the book he is referring to, I couldn't finish it. It just didn't appeal to me. However, I do know that it is a transformative book for many other people. These questions do strike at the essence of the choice we have in our life and that much has positively impacted my thought process.

House & Family
From Trent/The Simple Dollar:
Personal Finance and Being A Parent
When he asks me about his future with a bit of worry in his heart, I can look at him and, with complete honesty, I can tell him that I’m doing everything I can to make sure that his future is everything he hopes it will be...Good personal finance tactics simply underline my ability to be a good parent. I can give my child the honesty and the emotional reinforcement he deserves, simply because I’ve learned to keep my spending in check and I’m prudent with the money I have...That’s a big win in a dimension that I never really expected when I first sat down five years ago to address that pile of debts in front of me.
This is a "full circle" kind of moment for Trent. In "my story", he explained, "I made one key promise to myself during my adult life, that I would always strive to be the best parent I possibly could...So, when our first child came along, I began to focus a lot of my attention on what he would need for his future...In short, I was obviously heading down a path to a future I didn't want: an absent father and a tenuous financial situation."
I have been struggling with actions matching intentions lately in regards to parenting. I am reminding myself almost daily that giving up is the only way I'll fail and I'd be failing more than just myself. I don't think my kids think I'm failing but, if you're a parent, then you know the kind of self-judgment I have going on right now.

From Kara/Simple Kids
6 Peaceful Solutions For Hitting and Anger
Children learn so much of what responding to anger means by watching the grown-ups in their lives. This has challenged me to further develop and mature my own responses to upsetting situations – knowing that oftentimes I’ll see my own response in my girls the next time they get upset.
Time-in and modeling are two ideas that I think might help us over here at our household. Mom's overloaded and not able to help diffuse everyone else anymore, let alone herself.

Life Clutter
From MaryJo at reSPACEd:
Ask the Organizer: Did I Make A Mistake By Throwing This Away
In the end, we have to realize that there is usually not one “right” place where each of our unwanted items belongs. Instead, there are many acceptable places. We get to choose one place. And our reward for choosing that place is more room in our homes.
I love the way she put this! There isn't one right place and, as you should always believe about yourself, you did the very best you could do at that time. No guilt allowed.

TCOY on the outside
From Sally/Already Pretty
Trying Too Hard
The concept of “trying too hard” irks me. People are constantly being criticized for putting forth minimal effort, and yet we censure them for being overly enthusiastic, too. Talk about a lose-lose proposition...And yet, I’ve gotten several reader questions about “trying too hard” stylistically, and I understand why...I believe that confidence is the key to overcoming concerns of trying too hard.
Thankfully (!), I haven't had to deal with anything but supportive response from those around me in regards to changes I've been making in my style over the past few years. I'd say that it stems from a combination of listening to myself above others and surrounding myself with wonderfully, positive people.
Self Care Cheat Sheet
Cut yourself some slack. You are, undoubtedly, your own worst critic and undeserving of such harsh judgment and unreasonable standards. Find ways to go easy on yourself. You can’t be 100% awesome all the time, and that is just fine...We only have one planet, and we steward it together. We only have one body, and we steward it alone. Floss, sunscreen, vegetables, exercise, rest. If you don’t, who will?
As usual, Sal succinctly reminds us to "put ourselves in the line of priority, and right in front."
You Deserve Good Things
Material objects are part of life. The objects that we choose to use affect our comfort, self-image, and overall happiness. The process we use to select and obtain objects reflects our views about ourselves. When we choose objects that make us feel indifferent, we are slighting ourselves. When we choose objects that make us feel joy, we are honoring ourselves. And that holds true regardless of brand, cachet, and price...We deserve good things. And we should let them into our lives as often as we can.
Thanks to bloggers like Sal and many others, I learned this lesson some years ago. Previous to that, the idea of "deserving" something was a way that I justified over-spending when I was emotionally upended (frustrated, angry, sad, hurt, etc.) Since I grew up with not much money, my spending indulgences were not extremely expensive items but they still hurt my finances none-the-less. Now I fully understand the idea of deserving something and have kept all areas of my life that deserve my care & attention in balance.
From Already Pretty's Lovely Links
Am I a Size 4? 8? 10?
It’s a familiar problem for many women, as standard sizing has never been very standard, ever since custom clothing gave way to ready-to-wear...So, baffled women carry armfuls of the same garment in different sizes into the dressing room. They order several sizes of the same shirt online, just to get the right fit...Now, a handful of companies are tackling the problem of sizes that are unreliable. Some are pushing more informative labels. Some are designing multiple versions of a garment to fit different body shapes. And one is offering full-body scans at shopping malls, telling a shopper what sizes she should try among the various brands.
Yes and yes!!! I only have to carry a size 8 and 10 of each piece into the dressing room and, typically, one or the other will be the right fit. On rare occasion, I might need to go get a 6 or 12 (for juniors items, though, it's almost always a 13). The range of sizes that must be tried on is ridiculous, in my opinion, and I'm not even one of the women described in the article. Until there are truer "standard sizes", I'll just keep trying everything on!

From Jo-Lynne/Musings of a Housewife
Natural Home Remedies
The more I delve into this “natural” world — where we try to find natural solutions to life’s various challenges, I am amazed to find the same few products cropping up over and over. It just goes to show how far our industrialized society has gone to unnecessarily complicated matters...I am hugely grateful for the medical profession, but sometimes I just don’t understand why doctors turn to medicine FIRST. Shouldn’t medicine be the LAST resort? Heck, half the time it doesn’t even WORK as well as the natural remedies.
I am just beginning to delve into nature over man-made for my solutions as well. It's a process. Each effort build upon another, so it's worth doing.

Until next time...Take Care Of You!

Photo Credit: Iron Design

What are your thoughts on this topic?

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Quote to Reflect Upon (May10)

noreply@blogger.com (Suzanne Sergis) — Sun, 01 May 2011 11:11:00 +0000

LIVE YOUR LIFE EACH DAY as you would climb a mountain. An occasional glance toward the summit keeps the goal in mind, but many beautiful scenes are to be observed from each new vantage point. Climb slowly, steadily, enjoying each passing moment; and the view from the summit will serve as a fitting climax for the journey.

- HAROLD V. MELCHERT

Until next time...Take Care Of You!

Photo Credit: Light Reflection

What are your thoughts on this topic?

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TCOY Lessons From My Favorite Bloggers (Apr11)

noreply@blogger.com (Suzanne Sergis) — Wed, 27 Apr 2011 23:11:00 +0000

Corey at Simple Marriage reminded us about "...learning the art of healthy selfishness. A selfishness that is capable of incorporating the interests of others as well as demonstrating love, care and concern to those around you – and most importantly, a love and care for yourself." This is the kind of selfishness I advocate for and, as I've said before, how can we show a deep level of love, attention and care to others if we haven't practiced it on ourselves? If we do not provide nourishment to our own mind/body/soul, we are not able to give as much as we could to everyone else and it will take more effort to do so as well. Isn't it hypocritical to not "start at home" as it were?

Relationships
From Pick The Brain:
How To Make A Difference In Someone's Life
Listening to other people’s problems without passing judgment is one of the kindest things you can do. Most people know the answers to the problems they are facing; they just haven’t realized it yet...By letting them talk through their problems on their own, you help them find their path and realize what they should do...Sometimes they might need encouragement and help to start on this new path, which is something you, usually, always can give.
I excel at this...except when dealing with my husband. After nearly 16 years, you'd think I'd understand that he likes to tell me problems he's facing but not want me to do more than listen and empathize. My reaction is to problem solve. Oops. For everyone else, though, I am a thoughtful listener, compassionate communicator and overall a catalyst for positive change in their way of thinking about their problems.

Finances
From Get Rich Slowly:
Earning, Spending and Saving: The Building Blocks of Personal Finance
Basic personal finance comprises three essential skills:

Earning — your ability to bring in money.
Spending — your ability to live frugally and spend wisely.
Saving — your ability to produce a surplus and to make that surplus grow.

Some folks are good at one skill, but not the others...To be truly successful at personal finance, you have to maximize your performance in all three areas.
Basic financial management is about spending less than you earn. This post reminds us of the missing explanation for the difference; it's not just about making sure the difference of what you spend from what you earn is a positive number. True wealth is generated from smart management of what you save and, the bigger the number, the better.

All About Asset Location: How To Make The Most of Your Accounts
Studies have shown that making the right choices about which investments belong in which accounts can increase an investor’s after-tax wealth by 15% to 20% over a lifetime. So what are those “right choices”? They can be summed up by five basic rules.
I've been saving for retirement by just taking advantage of time; in the beginning it matters less where you put it and more that you just start saving. Now I'm beginning to really consider my investments and think about stuff like tax consequences. Ain't it fun being an adult?

From Get Rich Slowly's Spare Change round-up:
How To Spend Money Wisely
Take action today. Quick, little improvements can have a big impact over time. Improve your spending with these ten tips.
A simple list. Sure. But what all of the improvements have in common is THINKING and utilizing money in such a way that it enhances your life, not detracts from it. I'm thrill that I've learned to become a conscious saver and spender!

From Trent/The Simple Dollar:
His Debts, Her Debts, Or Our Debts?
First of all, regardless of who actually owns the debts, they are now shared debts...When you’re married, your money effectively becomes a shared pool...If one of you has a debt, the money to pay for that debt comes out of the shared pool...Which brings me to my next point: once you acknowledge the debts as essentially shared, the optimal way to get rid of those debts is to consider them all together. It should no longer matter who has the worst debt. What matters is that the worst debt is the one that you both focus on first.
A good strategy for sure. If one of the partners felt the need to keep track of how the shared money had been spent (meaning: I paid more than you did), I could see that working too. First, would be to eliminate the debt together; then use later expenses to "rebalance" each partner's contribution. For many of us that wouldn't be necessary, but if it would be, this is one smart approach to the financial freedom achieved from purging debt and creating an abundant life together.

You Need To Cut Your Spending. It Sounds Painful. Now What?
You’ve realized (finally) that you’re in a precarious financial situation. You’re spending more than you earn – sometimes quite a bit more. You’ve racked up a fair amount of debt. Now, you’re seeing that some changes are going to have to happen in your life, but those changes sound utterly painful...As these numbers add up, make sure you’re putting that amount to good use. It is a bad idea to make these good moves, then look at your checking account balance, think that you’re rich, then spend it all on something silly. Instead, pour that money into improving your financial situation by paying off debts, building an emergency fund, saving for a down payment, and so on. Use a debt repayment plan and make sure your dollars are going toward something powerful.
A portion of this article is a must-read for anyone who's tried cutting costs and felt miserable, rather than empowered, by your choices. It's not all-or-nothing, as Trent explains. And, the key to it all, is to actually divert that saved money towards something with purpose instead of letting the money slip through your fingers.

From The Simple Dollar's Weekly Roundup:
24 Quick Actions You Can Do Today That Can Change Your Financial Life Forever
As Baker says, "Remember, you don’t have to do every item on this list...Pick whichever ones stand out – and knock them off the list. Start small. Start with one...You have the time… it’s up to you do it.".

Diet & Exercise
From Jo-Lynne/Musings of a Housewife
An Enlightening Conversation
As Michael Pollan says, we vote with our forks. We can demand that the companies producing the food on grocery store shelves make it safe, both by spreading the word and by purchasing brands that are already producing safe foods. Everyone deserves safe food, especially our children.
Now that I've finally become aware of how much the food industry has changed since the mid-90's, and realizing how little I knew about the food I use to fuel my body, I've begun to vote with my fork at the grocery store.

From The World's Healthiest Foods email newsletter:
How can I get more omega 3 fatty acids in my daily meals? and WhFoods: Salmon
... the National Institutes of Health recommended that people consume at least 2% of their total daily calories as omega-3 fats...Many nutrition experts...would suggest, instead, that people consume at least 4% of their total calories (approximately 4 grams) as omega-3 fats...You can rely on the World's Healthiest Foods to get you "over the top" on your daily omega-3 fatty acid consumption!...Walnuts, flaxseeds, beans, fish, olive oil and winter squash constitute part of the cornucopia of foods that will provide you with concentrated sources of omega-3 fats.
...Salmon has earned its research reputation as a health-supportive food based largely on its unusual omega-3 fatty acid content...About half of this omega-3 fat is provided in the form of EPA (eicosapentaenoic acid) and a slightly lower amount is provided in the form of DHA (docosahexaenoic acid)...In our World's Healthiest Foods rating system for food, only two foods provide more omega-3s per standard serving than salmon. Those two foods are walnuts and flaxseeds. Both of these plant foods are outstanding sources of omega-3s! However, they cannot be compared on an equal basis to salmon because their omega-3 fats come in the form of alpha-linolenic acid (ALA) rather than EPA or DHA.
The World's Healthiest Foods book is an awesome resource to find out more about the fuel you're putting into your body. I also enjoy the newsletters I receive via email.

Self Improvement
From Pick The Brain:
5 Simple Steps To Start Your Day Productively
At this point you’re way passed the tipping point and now it’s time to get the snowball rolling. You have yourself set up for a productive day, the roadmap is in place, you know what the consequences can be and now the only thing remaining is to take action. So let’s get to work!
I'll admit, I'm not always a super productive person. I do try to be as productive as possible early in the day, though.

11 Incredibly Simple Ways to Find Your Passion Right Now
Don’t let that be you. Take control of your life and decide how you want to live. You can go after your dreams if you choose to...The only thing you have to do is take one small step each day towards your dreams and you will get there sooner or later.
Wishing you could will only get you so far. The action step is what will make all the time and effort produce results, making it all worth while.

5 Ways To Think More Clearly: Brain Health and Mental Maintenance
Just like your car, your brain needs fuel and regular care to perform like you need it to. If you drive your Ferrari too many miles without adding gasoline, it will sputter and quit on you. If you go months without replacing oil and tires and hoses and belts, your Maserati will eventually respond with sluggishness or even more catastrophic ends. Your brain is precision crafted—there is no substitute.
I admire the body's abilities; it is an awesome and amazing machine. If you think about it, it controls so many things at once and keeps all of life happening. Here are a few ways to really give your brain what it needs in today's not-so-simple world.

Why You're Not Reaching Your Goals and What To Do About It
If you trace back all of your proudest accomplishments, you’ll find they all started with a thought, which lead to action, which lead to achievement. Want to be a dreamer? THINK. Want to be a doer? START. Want to be an achiever? FINISH.
Sounds simple in writing but, as many of us know, not an easy thing to accomplish. Seeing it through to the end garners results.

From The Simple Dollar's Weekly Roundup:
Be Memorable
I call it the 100% verbal opt-in...when you pique someone’s interest enough with just one or two sentences that you get them to ask, “What do you mean?” or “Tell me more.” That acknowledgement is their way of “opting in” to your story.
Though Erica is using this lesson in the business sense, I thought it was actually a fabulous idea for every day experiences. Being memorable in this way would create more interesting human interaction. And, with today's distracted, multi-tasking, electronics-attention-hogging world, I would love just such a thing. Just like seasoning, a little would enhance and too much would be unpalatable, so use wisely.

Awareness
From Trent/The Simple Dollar:
Convincing Yourself That A Want Is Really A Need--And How To Stop It
Of course, I’m not saying you should never choose your wants. Instead, I’m merely suggesting that mindfulness about the abundance of things in your life that are there just to fulfill your wants can give you a powerful new perspective on how you choose to spend your money...Just ask yourself if this thing you’re wanting to spend money on fulfills something you might do or something you genuinely need to do to survive. When you take that idea to heart, it becomes clear how deeply abundant our modern lives really are.
Since becoming more financially aware, I've learned that I have everything I need, just not necessarily everything I want. Deciding which things in the want category really matter has made it much simpler to let go of my desire to obtain most of them.

From Pick The Brain:
Suffering Comes From Your Perception
Suffering never comes from the facts themselves, it comes from your perception of the facts; it’s the meaning you place on what YOU are processing in that moment...With awareness, gratitude will come because you know the truth. You control how much you let the “facts” control you. Gratitude comes when you realize you have the power to feel any way you want to; in gratitude there can be no fear and you will feel free.
Gaining awareness helps you in many ways; this is one of them.

How To Stop Worrying What Other People Think
"Other people’s thoughts – good, bad or indifferent – are their own. Enjoy your own life to the full; you can’t please everyone all of the time, and there’s no need to try to. Next time you’re worrying about what someone might think of you, ask yourself can their thoughts really affect me? … and get on with whatever you want to do."
I've grown to stop thinking more about the opinions of others than what would make me happy. There are times to bite your tongue, keep your actions quieter, dress in a way different than you'd prefer, etc. but, in general, all the other times are yours to do with as you please. I like to remind myself of this quote by Ethel Barrett, "We would worry less about what others think of us if we realized how seldom they do."

From Emma/Graceful Balance:
The Benefits of Daydreaming
I love to daydream. There is something childlike and innocent to me about just gazing out the window and letting thoughts flow through my head, choosing certain ones to spend time with and allowing others to pass on by.
Maybe it's from being so introspective but I've always been a daydreamer. I visualize "what if" scenarios about discussions (aka confrontations) with someone about an issue, imagine the end result of changes I'd like to make (such as in my home), have "out of body" experiences when I almost seem to be watching my life and what's going on around me like I'm on the sidelines, etc. It's not something I consciously set out to do but, when I do realize I am doing it, I feel comfort and enjoyment at my wandering thoughts.

From Get Rich Slowly:
How To Spend Your Way To Happiness (Part One)
Why is shorter and more frequent better? The researchers found that these little pleasures, like our morning cup of java, allow us to enjoy more first moments, which are tied to our perceptions of happiness. It’s like having ten first bites of cake, as opposed to eating the entire cake in one sitting.
This perspective shift has been on my mind since I read it. I am so using this in my life! I've already learned about the effect of the first experience vs. later ones but never did an article get me to totally understand a concrete way of applying the lesson. Yes, dessert is the way to my brain. :-)

Use It Up, Wear It Out, Make It Do, Or Do Without
"One of the tricks of frugal living is to recognize that with careful planning and savings, you can have anything you want but you can’t have everything you want. Making a commitment to conscientious, intentional personal money management means making some choices. You need to develop the skill of discerning what best serves your goals, and keeping your spending and attention focused on those things...Another part of being frugal is being able to pare back your sense of what you need...I’ve been getting clean just fine with a broken shower, cooking up a storm without those kitchen gadgets, and safely riding the bike that I maintain myself. Turns out, I don’t really need any of that stuff."
Actually becoming aware of what I need financially and what I don't has been an AH-MAZING feeling. I wish I could turn more people on to gaining that awareness for themself. What can I say, I'm a giver and want more happiness for others than just keeping it to myself!

House & Family
From J.D. of Get Rich Slowly and Foldedspace:
Chore Cloud: One Difference Between Men and Women (found via a link in Use It Up, Wear It Out, Make It Do, Or Do Without, above)
The challenge then, one of the primary objectives of marital relations, is to find a balance between the woman's list of chores and the man's cloud of chores.
My husband and I have this exact dynamic. Even if it doesn't follow the exact gender lines he proposed, I'd be willing to bet that MANY relationships share this difference of styles between the people involved.

From Unclutterer:
Teaching Toddlers About Organizing
Young children are eager to be independent, and helping your child learn skills that foster this independence as well as acquire valuable organizing concepts are a great place to start the teaching process.
Yes and yes. My kids have been living the lifestyle described in this post since at least 2 years old, learning important life skills along the way. Their morning routine chart guided us to calm mornings, we encourage them to be responsible for their own messes and their eagerness to help clean-up like the adults do was fun, rewarding and a great way for us to take care of our home together.

From Corey at Simple Marriage:
Winning the Chore War
Life skills are learned through chores and helping with the daily tasks associated with running your household. By sharing in the load you are building teamwork and a ‘all for one, one for all‘ spirit.
In my mind, the idea of chores has been expanded so far that it's sometimes overwhelming; should they do work or not their responsibility, should they be paid or is it just expected, etc. At the purest essence, I believe that "if everyone does a little, then no one has to do a lot" when it comes to the occupants of your home taking care of it. Taking care of one's home is a life skill that is gifted from parent to child.

Are You A Cool Parent?
Let the child handle more of their own problems. When a child comes to you needing help with their homework, what do you do? Do you do it for them? One of the main things growing up entails is struggle, and the struggle to grow up continues across our lifespan. Homework is supposed to be difficult. Learning to accomplish any task takes effort and work. The more a parent clears the path for the child, the more unprepared for the real world the child becomes. It’s important to be alongside them through their struggle, but as a support, not a snowplow. (#4 is also one of my favorite Corey lessons!)
I could not agree more. Helping my kids learn how to find their own way to be a strong, capable person is a gift I am giving them. Why would I want to do more in order to achieve less?

Life Clutter
From Already Pretty
Guest Post: Author Rosie Molinary On Strategies For Delight
It was a handcrafted artisan bag, crafted out of silk and dark denim with embroidered tropical birds and flowers that flirted with me in a small boutique in my native Puerto Rico years ago. It sounds awful. I swear it’s not. The price tag, however, was another story. It was a couple hundred dollars. I don’t spend a couple hundred dollars on an outfit so I certainly couldn’t spend it on a bag. I left the store...Later, my husband went back...“You never get excited about anything,” he explained when he gave me the bag. “I just wanted you to have it since you liked it so much.”...In my hands, the bag felt like pressure, kryptonite. Now, I owned this beautiful piece, and it was my job to keep it beautiful...I am as far from a helicopter parent as it comes, and, yet, I was a helicopter bag owner. I lived in so much fear of what could happen to this bag that nothing happened to it. No one even saw it. It was almost a sketch from theater of the absurd happening live in my own house. And the thing is I know I am not alone.
Enjoy your beautiful treasures; don't hoard them. Life will happen, something may get broke, etc., but, in my mind, ultimately all of the time you were able to enjoy the item means so much more than it lasting forever...especially if forever is stored away where no one, maybe not even you, gets to enjoy it.

TCOY on the outside
From Sally/Already
Reader Request: Body Gratitude in the Face of Illness
In fact, you’d never know I’m dealing with any health-related unless I told you. And if I’m this angry and frustrated, I can’t even begin to imagine how angry and frustrated those of you dealing with more invasive, painful, and life-altering illnesses must feel...But without the will to cultivate gratitude, we all lose sight of hope. And hope can sometimes make poor health easier to bear. Since illness can take infinite forms, it’ll be tough to generalize, but here are a few ideas for how to stay grateful for your body during times of sickness.
I enjoyed the ideas she gave and thought they would be of use to almost everyone, regardless of condition.

Until next time...Take Care Of You!

Photo Credit: Iron Design

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Quote to Reflect Upon (Apr10)

noreply@blogger.com (Suzanne Sergis) — Fri, 01 Apr 2011 11:11:00 +0000

Only one thing has to change for us to know happiness in our lives: where we focus our attention.
- Greg Anderson

Until next time...Take Care Of You!

Photo Credit: Light Reflection

What are your thoughts on this topic?

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TCOY Lessons From My Favorite Bloggers (Mar11)

noreply@blogger.com (Suzanne Sergis) — Sun, 27 Mar 2011 11:11:00 +0000

After gathering items throughout this month and adding my little notes beneath, I was amazed to see how one of them was a perfect opener to all of the goodness to come. A gentle reminder of the benefits to be had from Taking Care Of You. I hope you enjoy "The Awakening" from Corey at Simple Marriage.

Relationships
From Corey/Simple Marriage:
What Do You Fear Most In Your Marriage
They will choose unhappiness over uncertainty...In this scenario, the only thing left to do is wait for death, which may be a long way off. But...what if you actually faced the fear? Took a risk?
Our marriage existed this way for many years and a divorce was an eventual outcome. One momentous event derailed that plan and we landed, albeit a bit bumpily, back onto the original path we had started following after we got married...the one that leads us to "happily ever after". I wish I could say that I had been brave enough to take a risk but it wasn't my doing. Through that experience, though, I can say that a life-sucking relationship is not worth keeping and that, if you are in this position, consider what Corey suggests.

Finances
From Trent/The Simple Dollar:
Eight Minutes To Financial Success - Minute #8: Bank On Autopilot
Simple moves, big improvements. That’s the kind of personal finance that can change a life.
When I began correcting bad financial decisions we'd made a few years back, automating my savings contributions and bill payments were a saving grace for me. Waiting until the end of the month to see what was left over to save usually resulted in an amount that didn't seem worth saving. Now I save 20% of my income right when I get paid and, because I know what I spend each month, the rest is allocated to bills and a cushion for the unexpected.
From The Simple Dollar's Weekly Roundup:
15 Things People Forget To Budget For
While reading this, I was a bit amused to see that my foresight and planning have come a long way! Now, I actually have a yearly amount budgeted for many of these things and money is set aside in savings accounts each month for: "Chiropractor/Massage", "Clothing", "Dentist", "Gifts", "Haircuts", "Kids Expenses (School & Hobbies)" and "Vehicle Maintenance". I also save monthly to a "Future" account (emergency fund) and "My Next Car".
From Get Rich Slowly:
The Power of Patience
"We live in a Culture of Now. We’re constantly bombarded by messages trying to convince us to buy now, to spend now, to have what we want this very moment. Nobody preaches patience. Nobody explains that the cost of Now is a loss of your future...But if you can learn to be patient, the world opens up to you."
I agree that today's values are so geared towards more, now and debt, that the very notion of patience has been pushed aside.

Diet & Exercise
From Jo-Lynne/Musings of a Housewife:
Top 5 Real Food Habits
Once you start reading and realize how completely and totally derailed the SAD (Standard American Diet) has become and how far from nourishing it truly is, you get overwhelmed. There is just SO much to change about our diets if we want to “do it right”...I have finally come to the conclusion that I just can’t do it all...I want to do it all, you see. I fully believe in the value of a traditional whole foods diet, and I want to give those benefits to my family. But I have finally decided that I will never get there — at least not all the way there...So here are 5 {real food} things I am committed to doing for my family. Everything else is bonus.
If you're stuck in a SAD way of eating, this is a good list of changes to consider making.

Self Improvement
From Pick The Brain:
How To Overcome Taking Criticism Personally
It didn’t matter if their intentions were good or not, for some reason my ego would take control my thoughts and I’d take offense to it. This negative thought pattern I had was on auto-pilot. I’d get offended even if what that person said to me was true. Which actually made it hurt even worse.
Whether you are the "offender" or the "offendee", there's truth in this perspective shift. My husband and I have the same dynamic as the author and his wife so I know how the "innocent" party feels. I don't take criticism personally, especially because I seek understanding and invite growth. As such, learning that not everyone is like me and that my words/actions might offend has been something I've had to grow into. If you find it hard to grow yourself so that it doesn't sting, try empathy. Convince yourself that the other person doesn't intend to or understand that they are being offensive. It's not true growth on your part and just masks the symptoms, but it does help us all to get along.
10 Ways to Chase A New Direction In Your Life
In the stillness of the night, blanketed by the never-ending comfort of darkness, I would begin to dream about the life I wanted to live. One filled with joy and peacefulness where I was doing work that mattered to me, pouring my energy into those I loved, and had the space to just breathe—pretty much the complete opposite of my current existence...When I started thinking about the changes that would need to happen in order for me to transition from one life to the other, the fears within me started to multiply...But I suspect, in the stillness of the night, that voice speaks to you loud and clear about the life you know you want to be living.
Reach Your Goals More Quickly: Use Incremental Change
The antidote to stagnation is “er.” It guarantees small, consistent, and most importantly, continuous progress toward your goals.
As a believer in kaizen, this feels much the same. Are you going to add some "er" to your life?

Awareness
From David at Raptitude:
Why Your Fears Won't Come True
What you fear, whatever horrible scenario you think you’re avoiding — it isn’t going to happen anyway. Similar outcomes may happen, but it will never unfold quite like you expected, because that would make you a genuine psychic.
Another great read from David!
From Pick The Brain:
12 Critical Things You Should Never Tolerate
Use the next few minutes to think about one area in your life you are just tolerating. How does this toleration impact your sense of well-being and joy? What is one action you could take today to begin to eliminate this toleration? Even a small change can make a huge shift for the better in your life.
I agree with all of these. In fact, I tried to find one to spotlight as the least tolerable and I couldn't choose. I've lived through several of these (as you can see by personal notes under some of the items this month!) If you are tolerating anything on the list, I urge you to consider any change that can move you closer to a feeling of peace. You deserve it!
From The Simple Dollar's Ten Pieces of Inspiration for this week:
Daniel Pink's TEDtalks presentation on the surprising science of motivation
He says the approach proposed at the end can be thought of as utopian...I call it awesome. For many people, it would create a positive result to the idea of work. A win for the worker and a win for the other party.

House & Family
From MaryJo at reSPACEd:
Do you live in an "Authentic House" or an "Idealized House"?
I believe that your family is your home's most important guests. It should feel comfortable and representative of you.

Life Clutter
From David at Raptitude:
Everything In Its Place, Finally and Forever
I had to reduce my possessions quite dramatically to get to be able to adequately house everything I chose to keep...There is an indescribable weight on your conscience that is released when you give something up. Every item you get rid of frees you, it really does...I will never go back. There is just zero advantage to keeping more stuff than you can properly care for, even though it’s the normal thing to do. And it’s easy to maintain. I won’t buy anything I’m not prepared to give a home to. For once I am committed to really owning everything I have...This all may sound a bit dramatic, but it’s hard to overstate the immediate difference this has made in my life. It was a lot of work, and I really had to get quite close to a 100% absence of homeless possessions before many of the benefits kicked in. But it could be the best time I ever spent, and it’s only begun to pay its dividends. If you’re looking for a “sure thing” to invest in, here it is.

Until next time...Take Care Of You!

Photo Credit: Iron Design

What are your thoughts on this topic?

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Quote to Reflect Upon (Mar10)

noreply@blogger.com (Suzanne Sergis) — Tue, 01 Mar 2011 12:11:00 +0000

“It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.”
~ Aristotle

Until next time...Take Care Of You!

Photo Credit: Light Reflection

What are your thoughts on this topic?

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TCOY Lessons From My Favorite Bloggers (Feb11)

noreply@blogger.com (Suzanne Sergis) — Sun, 27 Feb 2011 12:11:00 +0000

Awesome things have happened because of changes I've been making after reading these inspiring blogs: 1) I greatly enjoy REAL food (as in the stuff nature made, not a factory), 2) my body has let go of some weight it was storing and 3) my decluttering efforts have thinned my clothing to only what I love and use. All have combined to needing clothing to fill in some gaps, which I've slowly been filling thanks to frugal shopping!

Relationships
From Simple Marriage:
10 Tips To Living A Mindful Marriage
Being the right mate involves living mindfully. It means being conscious about what’s happening in your marriage and taking charge of your own marital happiness.
I agree. You are one half of the sum of the relationship/marriage and though you cannot control it nor your partner/spouse, you are responsible for your own thoughts, words, actions, etc. Being mindful about your part is taking care of your own needs while also taking care of the union.
A Sure Fire Way to Improve Marriage...Play
...play is also important in the adult world. It opens to [sic] door to new solutions and creative sparks. It adds passion and energy to life and marriage. Now, this can be taken too far of course (not being serious when appropriate, etc.) but, at its essence, the acts of laughter, spontaneity, creativity, exhuberance and more that are components of play can reenergize not only yourself but those around you and the relationships you have with them.

Diet & Exercise
From Musings of a Housewife's Links & Shoutouts:
The Unconquerable Dave
Dave first emailed me about a year ago. He had just bought the Primal Blueprint Cookbook and was seeing some real results. Occasionally I’ll get an update from him. One can really get a sense of Dave’s energy and excitement for life from his emails...catch a bit of Dave’s enthusiasm and spirit. It’s contagious.
Regardless of the lifestyle adjustment you choose, who wouldn't want to show this much dedication to and enthusiasm for the method they have chosen to follow? The changes he made in his health and quality of life in that year are ah-mazing!!

Self Improvement
From MaryJo at reSPACEd:
6 Time Management Tips
Nothing new or revolutionary here; just the core components of a system that you control, not one that controls you...you know, the way that feels less like time management and more like "how to get less done in more time while feeling overrun". Each of us is different. Finding the method that works for us is key. If your current method is controlling you, try these tips and see what works for you!

Awareness
From Pick The Brain:
The Anatomy of Open Mindedness
"An open-minded individual strives to develop a better understanding of the world and is willing to listen to other people’s beliefs and opinions, to learn from their insights...He doesn’t feel obliged to agree with others, but respects their right to their own convictions, without trying to force his own views on them...He’s not embarrassed to admit his own ignorance, or when he has made an intellectual error...He doesn’t need to resort to rationalizations to justify his beliefs and is prepared to listen to criticisms without being offended."
How many people in your life can you identify who exhibit this trait? When I realized it's power, I made sure to incorporate it into my life as often as possible. Being willing is the biggest part. Are you willing?
From Trent at The Simple Dollar:
The Less You Need, The More You Have
Step back and look at your life. Remove just what you need from that picture – water, basic food, a few changes of basic clothing, minimal shelter. Look at all that’s left – all of the possessions, relationships, experiences, thoughts, and other things. That’s an abundance, one that can provide you with more than you can ever explore and enjoy.
Realizing all that I have in excess of my needs provides a great sense of comfort. It also boosts a mood quite well. Whenever you're feeling unsettled (frustrated, overwhelmed, unhappy, etc.), try practicing gratitude awareness. Your results may vary but they will probably never be a negative.

Life Clutter
From Rachel at Small Notebook:
Loosen the Grip of "More Stuff"
A brief but important reminder about the diminishing value excess stuff brings into our life.
From Trent at The Simple Dollar:
Eight Minutes to Financial Success - Minute #1: Ask Yourself "Do I Need This?"
You’ll start looking at all of the stuff you’ve accumulated with a more discerning eye, looking for the things that don’t really add joy (and finding that the removal of those items actually does add a bit of joy over the long run). You’ll also use that same eye as you buy things, making stiffer choices about the items you bring into your home and actually finding time to enjoy the things you do have that do bring value into your life...In the end, your bank account will thank you. You’ll be spending less on non-essentials without losing any real value in your life (and gaining some space and some time freedom). You’ll be improving your financial state by getting rid of those non-essentials, too...All it takes is a moment to flip that switch.
You don't have to sell me on the powerful effects of decluttering...in fact, this blog wouldn't even exist if I hadn't begun my own decluttering journey.

TCOY on the outside
From Sally at Already Pretty:
Be Kind To Yourself
Giving all your kindness away and reserving none for your own body, mind, and soul leaves you dry and empty. Eventually, you’ll have nothing left to give...And no matter what you’ve been led to believe, you deserve kindness.
If you've been led to believe that taking care of you is a kindness that you don't deserve, I hope that time spent here will convince you otherwise.

Until next time...Take Care Of You!

Photo Credit: Iron Design

What are your thoughts on this topic?

Copyright © 2010 by tcoyou.com | all rights reserved
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Quote to Reflect Upon (Feb10)

noreply@blogger.com (Suzanne Sergis) — Tue, 01 Feb 2011 12:11:00 +0000

It is not enough simply to wish that love and compassion should increase in us. We need to make a sustained effort, again and again, to cultivate the positive aspects within us – and the key here is constant familiarity. The nature of human thoughts and emotions is such that the more you engage in them, the more you consciously develop them, the more powerful they become.

- Dalai Lama

Until next time...Take Care Of You!

Photo Credit: Light Reflection

Copyright © 2010 by tcoyou.com | all rights reserved
What are your thoughts on this topic? Leave a comment and let us know!

TCOY Lessons From My Favorite Bloggers (Jan11)

noreply@blogger.com (Suzanne Sergis) — Thu, 27 Jan 2011 12:11:00 +0000

In last month's TCOY Lessons, there was an overload of "Self-Improvement" posts as blogs were focusing on resolutions and goals. This month, the tide has turned and there was an abundance of "Awareness" posts to share. As I believe that inner awareness is key to self-improvement, it's nice to see it being spotlighted, albeit belatedly!

Finances
From Pick The Brain: 4 Reasons You Need To Pursue Financial Solvency
Understanding financial solvency is a life lesson that I wish we learned solely from parental guidance or in a class setting. For many of us, though, it seems we need to learn it through mistakes made and awareness gained.
From Get Rich Slowly: Take Control of Your Finances
J.D.'s annual "road map" posting, with a new tip added each year

Awareness
From Raptitude: A Day In The Future
If you're a regular Raptitude reader, you'll understand what I mean when I say this is classic David. He can write a story and deliver a message in an unexpectedly refreshing way.
From Simple Marriage: 5 Passionate Truths About You
In this powerful post, Corey helps us to narrow down "reminders about what’s really important, what matters, what will make the difference in the long run, have enduring value, you name it." Definitely a must read!
From Trent at The Simple Dollar:
Intimidated By The Mistakes of the Past
"Change. Right now. And don’t look back."
Some Perspectives On Career Success
"Your real boss is you", says Trent. Are you an Option A or Option B worker? And, are you being the kind of worker that is best for you?
From J.D. (and staff) at Get Rich Slowly and Foldedspace (his personal blog):
One Problem, One Correction
I thought the quote from J.D.'s fitness trainer summed it up well: "When you try to correct more than one thing at a time, it’s easy to get distracted. You can’t do any one thing well because you’re trying to do many things poorly. But if you concentrate on a single goal, you’re able to obtain a laser-like focus that better helps you achieve that objective."
Underachievement and The All-or-Nothing Mindset
Ah, perfectionism...my old friend. Thankfully I'm detached from the emotional pull it used to have on me. Now I can feel the all-or-nothing tendencies in my life but in the light of grace I show to myself. I love the quote from Anais Nin that she included: "You have a right to experiment with your life. You will make mistakes. And they are right, too.”
Action is Character
"What we say doesn’t matter; it’s what we do that counts."
From Pick The Brain:
Lies Unhappy People Love To Tell
Good read! I loved how she approached the flip-side of this topic.
10 Things Your Mom Said That Were Actually Right
Another great one from Tracy (see lies above).
Stop Taking Yourself So Seriously
"Many of us die before we’re ready. We spend hours, months, years, engaged in activities which bleed life from us one miserable moment at a time."
From Shake Off The Grind: Feeling Stuck?
"You may have learned to get comfortable in your current surroundings. Even with all the frustration and unhappiness, you have simply adjusted to this way of living...Because of this, being stuck might be quite a habit for you. It might be all you know...There is a time to stay and adapt to a situation, and a time to change and move forward. Knowing when to move on is powerful self-awareness to gain."

Life Clutter
From MaryJo at reSPACEd:
Dealing with the post-Christmas gift explosion
"If you are like a lot of people, there's a lot of new stuff laying around -- stuff that doesn't fit anywhere, stuff that you don't know what to do with, stuff you don't really want but feel obligated to keep."
To Get Organized, Avoid These 4 traps
Before you open a cabinet or purchase one storage container, read this!
From David at Raptitude: I Don't Want Stuff Any More, Only Things
Take a look and see if you only want things as well.
From Kristen, the Frugal Girl: Cut Schedule Clutter
"Simply put, I try not to fill my life with things that don’t matter to me or that don’t mesh with the overarching beliefs and goals that shape me."

TCOY on the outside
From Sally at Already Pretty: 3 Stages To Becoming Truly Stylish
I've done pretty well with #1 and #2, and am still working my way through level #3. I had to work through mental clutter issues (fear of letting go of clothing that didn't look great on me just because money had been spent on it, it was still useful, still fit, etc.) to begin to see what truly mattered were the clothes that looked great on me as in not just OK but ones that made me/others say terrific, fabulous or super cute!

Little-by-little I've been editing and then editing some more, while picking up something new now & again, to create a wardrobe that reflects all of my preferences (within budget, a complimenting color, comfortable fit, something that thrills me when I wear it, etc.) And along the way I've begun to find my creativity. That has been the best, I mean absolute awesomest part of this whole journey. I never thought expressing myself through clothing would be something I'd ever do.

Until next time...Take Care Of You!

Photo Credit: Iron Design

Copyright © 2010 by tcoyou.com | all rights reserved

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What's In Your Cup?

noreply@blogger.com (Suzanne Sergis) — Tue, 18 Jan 2011 12:11:00 +0000

Just as there are "cat people" and there are "dog people", I believe the same distinction exists between drinking coffee or tea. You may drink them both but one or the other is your true drink of choice.

I am a coffee-drinker, though not a coffee-aholic. In the dark morning hours, I enjoy wrapping my hands around a steaming mug as I inhale the delicious fragrance of the steam. I sip the drink slowly as I work at the computer, enjoying the silence and solitude of the this time of day. Until the kids wake up or it's time to get us up and moving out the door, this is my time.

For a few weeks last year, I tried to be more healthy and become a green tea drinker. Since my taste buds would not go for anything but coffee in the morning, I drank only a glass of water in the morning and a cup of hot tea sometime during the day in lieu of my regular glass of water. (A bit off topic but to explain, from 11 a.m. - 4:00 p.m., I drink 8 oz. of water at the top of each hour while at work.) Though I was happy for the healthier switch, I still missed the chocolate part of my hot drink routine. So, I returned to my warm cuppa love in the morning.

After reading Jo-Lynne's post over at Musings of a Housewife, I am thinking of attempting another "healthier switch"...this time to Choffy.

Choffy is made from 100% organic cacão beans (also known as cocoa beans), roasted to perfection. All the antioxidant value, mineral benefits, neurotransmitter rejuvenating properties and overall health-giving qualities are found naturally in cacão beans. No sugar, no dairy, no chemicals. Just one ingredient: cacão.

The most favorite part of my warm cuppa love routine is the chocolate I put into the mug. And now I find out that they've actually brewed that chocolatey love and I can have an entire cup of it...Where can I get some of that?!

I emailed Melisa Mons (Jo-Lynne's source) to request a sample and I didn't have to wait long to hear from her. Within a few minutes, she had replied and my sample was scheduled for delivery.

A sample bag of Choffy is $3 (shipping included!) Melisa would love to get the word out about Choffy, so she offered the sample for FREE if I shared my thoughts on it somewhere, such as the blog, Facebook, Twitter, etc. Of course I would be glad to tell the world about brewed chocolate, thankyouverymuch!

Now, Choffy is 100% organic cacão beans, so if you don't enjoy the taste of dark chocolate you might need to enhance your drink with some sweetness! After trying it straight, I decided that just like regular coffee I needed to add some creamy sweetness to my drink. The best part is that with the health benefits of cacão in my warm drink, and not caffeine, I did feel like this was a healthier drink overall.

If you're looking to enjoy a warm cup of something delicious, I would highly recommend trying Choffy for yourself!

Jo-Lynne also mentioned the amazing truffles she tried from Choffy...which are organic, vegan, dairy-free and gluten-free. She is going to give them as teacher gifts and said that they'd make a fabulous Valentine's gift as well. As for me, I've been nibbling on a few grounds left in the sample bag. So incredibly good! I can imagine sprinkling them anywhere I'd like a touch of dark chocolate.

Until next time...Take Care Of You!

Copyright © 2010 by tcoyou.com | all rights reserved
What are your thoughts on this topic? Leave a comment and let us know!
__________________________________________________________________
You should follow me on twitter. Thank you for adding your Twitter identity to the guestbook on the right! Enjoy what you read at Taking Care Of You? It's easy to receive free updates by email or RSS. Click SHARE to help spread the word about TCOYou.com. Please and thank you!

Quote to Reflect Upon (Jan11)

noreply@blogger.com (Suzanne Sergis) — Sat, 01 Jan 2011 12:11:00 +0000

Don't worry about what happened yesterday (or last year);
it ended last night.

- Jennifer Enloe

Until next time...Take Care Of You!

Photo Credit: Light Reflection

Copyright © 2010 by tcoyou.com | all rights reserved

What are your thoughts on this topic? Leave a comment and let us know!

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