Tale of a Sarawak Gal

11.11.11

2011-11-12T11:02:00.001-08:00

wao, look at d special date, sui hor...

actualy i was looking forward 2 hv some memorable crazy events dat day.

but. thank god, it was a normal day.

happy though.

but normal.

kinda jelus coz got alot of ppl can get married 2day.

if i m 26-30 years old edy, n got bf, i wil select 11.11.11 marry also oh.

such a good date.

now 21 ler lor..

sometimes, feel kinda lonely don hv any bf oh....

got bf jiu good lor, got some1 2 care, got some1 2 text, got some1 2 talk 2 when sad or bored...

bcoz 11.11.11 my very best fren left me le. go 2 kedah study. now im officially stuck alone in bintulu again.

cant c her until dono when. haiz..

so im lonely again, im miss lonely, so lonely...

n sadder even, my sisters all going back 2 kuching later. which is sunday morning.

outside im edy alone, now at home no siblings 2 talk 2. only parents.

i know i shud b grateful. but im really feeling lonely.

mayb 11.11.11 means im stuck with single life, no couple, no siblings, no frens...

kinda bad right?

haha.

well back 2 my topic, actualy dat date, wat i did is, morning my family n i had breakfast, then i go 2 work, n take some ss pics with my collegues.

datz all. nothgn more interesting than dat.

diary ah diary,

now im in quite an excited state.

if im not mistaken, got a guy chasing me.

im not sure.

how do i met him? well, firstly,

he add me at fb, then after dat, we got chat, sometimes, not much

n 2 avoid myself 2 fall into any trap, i seldom find guys 2 talk 2,coz im afraid i wil fall for them

so i leave matters on dis guy's hand

since he's d 1 finding me 2 chat

i wil also reply him.but not much.

don wan 2 put any hope in first.

then 1 day he came 2 my shop around 4.30pm.

well he told me he wana come hv a drink with me.

i din know he was serious.

n he really came!

gosh, dis guy i never talk eh, ok la since he wan 2 talk, let him talk.

after dat, we kinda know a bit more about each other, talk about 40 minutes i think.

treated me 100 plus.

n he got my number. dono y i gave him. seriously molly!

after dat. i was kinda hoping will get sms like:good morning/how r u 2day/ hi/

something like dat.

coz when a guy randomly text u, it means he misses u, right?right??

but no wor...

dis 2 days, wat i observe is,

he wil text me 2 ask how is business?

n if not busy, he wan 2 come my shop hv a drink.

n wan me accompany him drink.

so..i was not so sure if he really wana pikat me or not. mayb he juz nid some1 2 drink with him.

n i saw his fb status, he juz celebrated his bday with his gf, on october!which is less than 1 month ago. n i notice he n his gf has been in a really long relationship.

juz dat he changed his status from "in relationship" to "single" on end of october. which is really not long ago.

n i know him a few days nia.

i where got d face 2 ask him wat happen 2 his love life, like so obvious mehhh

haha!

klah, but somehow, dis guy is quite good, i mean, face not so lengzai(if 2 lengzai i feel insecure), rich(heard he drive good car leh), 6 years older than me, sporty(very good in badminton), very leaderly(from his fb c he enter alot of associations), so far datz my observation.

i like mature guys lor.

hehe.

kla, i juz wana write in case i forget everything dat i nid 2 tell my children, later say mum no life 1.

haha!

chao~

moulla....hen fan oh

2011-11-07T10:30:00.000-08:00

hi diary.im in a dilemma right now.

wat should i choose actualy.

i know wat i will choose.

my very best fren.

i know wat she said 2 me meant alot.

its for my best.

tq.

i really do appreciate it.

datz y im thinking 2 break off my relationship with another fren.

i mean.

actualy, i don like those stuff.

molly kueh, u know wat u meant right, u holy shoot.

wat u told me at d bistro really made me wake up.

i was awoke but not sure m i fully awake....

n i think ppl around me misunderstand u...i know u know d best for me....

coz u always think d best for me.....

i hope ppl around me understand u 1 day, juz like i do....

n i sincerely hope our frenship last forever...

dis post refers to last sunday.(i think) which is yesterday, 6/11/11 where u told me how 2 struggle in uni when u eat beef burger...

tq so much....i really thank god i hv a fren like u.....

Handwriting analysis-useful tool to find bad guys

2011-09-05T07:53:00.000-07:00

Today im gonna write about something useful n exciting(4 me, not for u)

Sometimes i feel like im physcho physcho yi xia d...

i wonder, how come everytime i write stuff,

there is somethng unique about it, its similar but at d same time totally different too.

Itulah dia, dah sot, i pun go on9 google search la, "handwriting"

so ngam keluar alot of stuff which is exactly wat im looking for,

its call handwriting analysis.

After going thru alot of different articles,

I will make some summary on my own.

Don't u feel excited if u can judge a person juz by looking at his handwriting??

Slant

Slant = emotional response to pressure.

(///)left slant

Left slant d ppl very emotional based. caring, kind, outgoing r their characteristics.

Heart rules their mind.

(\\\)Right slant

Very opposite from left, they are cold hearted,indifferent, unconcerned, self centered

(|||)Vertical

Mind rules their heart, they keep their emotions in check.

I think d easiest way to c some1's personality is by slant. Next, you can use d other indicators 2.

Size

if i say big small, u may wonder HOW BIG or HOW SMALL i meant, well, in 1 of d articles i read, d benchmark is

small<3mm< large

Large

extravert, outgoing, puts an act of confidence(only showing to ppl he knows)

small

thinker, academic

small, delicate

not sociable.canot adapt to new environment easily

other indicator: d pressure, loops, some letters, T, G, Y,word spacing, line spacing, etc

Im stil not so good with how to differentiate these, so ill juz skip.

I make a few surveys, 75% have normal (|||) sometimes (///) handwriting, 15% hv ocipala handwriting- mayb he is confused y he is on earth??

another 15% is \\\ d, well mayb she is cold? from the weather?lately keep raining bah..

n i found dis website which hv alot of questions n examples.im doing it haha!

http://home.comcast.net/~markjoel/Handwriting/Handwriting.htm

k la, nothg liao. good nite. Hv fun knowing urself!

Molly

v5h333

Matthew 16.27

For the Son of man will come in the glory of his Father with his angels; and then he will give to every man the reward of his works.

how i sambut raya in utp

2011-09-01T05:42:00.000-07:00

Hwa hwa....

2day, actualy juz a boring day, started my day from 1.30pm.
juz study, look here n there, surf net. tidy tidy, go study again.
dis is how i look when study.

look at my cup got leftover milo...yuck...

tidy tidy, exam time i owez very hardworking tidy 1.
most of d time juz look outside window. c monkeys...

c my storage of awakening drugs......not yet drink pun. siapa nak datang ambil la.

so bored right?
haiz.
SOOOO
i decide 2 do something.
panggang!!
in utp.
how r? i hv my own way la. canot tell 1...

i put d pot outside my window

check out d fire burning, Fire burning on d dancefloor, wow ho~~

yummy
(ok kidding. look yummyless.
taste ok if u juz think of it as sushi....T.T)

after dat alot of cleanup to do...

black dao like dat, next year ill get a new 1..

Hrm,
actualy my point of doing dis is coz
i crave other food rather than steam fish n maggi everyday.
n i really enjoy panggang food, i mean d process.
so.
hope utp don tangkap me la...

lastly, i juz wan 2 share my mouse,
its so pretty at nite, looks like im holding a heart
reminds me of a song from korea, Heartbeat.(nickhun lengzai>.<)

Molly
v5h.3.3.3

To know Christ, the Living Word,

is to love the Bible, the written Word.

B4 & After "Face Surgery"

2011-08-30T09:06:00.000-07:00

Hehe, i normally don write happy or excited topics nowadays.

Everytime come here pun write emo emo n emo stuff.
Pity my diary la.
so.
i suddenly thought of something new, but somehow similar to my other post.
Click here to read my old post.

I kinda fall in love in the art of makeup.
Ya. Makeup. I used to hate dat. My mum, my sis, dont wear makeup alot.
So makeup does not appear in my dictionary until now.

My My My.
I think my age is poisoning me.
I have dis super dark eye circles torturing me. n some black spots on my cheeks.
even my lips feel dry all d time.
Uneven brows.
fine lines appearing near my eyes..
owh shoot me now(quoted from my fren hehe)

21 years old. but face complexion looks like 31 years old.
Juniors call me auntie instead of big sister nowadays.
Lau Auntie? Ah Po????

Nid 2 hao hao bao yang le lo. Now i finally nod my head to d phrase:
"Women's money easy to earn."

Buy toner la, cream la, 1 bottle pun minimum RM2X.XX, i really nid a rich husband now.

Ok la, dis r not d main points.
To solve my face problem, d only thing i can do is 2 use makeups.
I bought maskara, eyeliner, blusher, eyeshadow n lip gloss.
well.
not so much but dis will do to shine my face i guess.>.<

so here i will post d pictures of myself b4 using makeup n after using makeup.
Aiyo, look at d difference moh!
So ugly n so-so pretty. Quite big difference neh.........
dono wan 2 happy or cry lah....

well, i hope i can achieve d professional level of putting makeup.
coz i wan 2 look natural on it. Don like ppl 2 say:"hey molly, u put makeup 2day?"
kinda insulting.
for me la.

Sometimes i use eyeliner/blusher a bit bit nia but some ppl(gals) jiu nge nge nid 2 say out 1.
haiya.
don like don like>.<

Before makeup.
Not scary la, juz normal ok? Don make dat face ar....

After makeup.
well, i can say my face looks younger. Can i?
version[1]

Version[2]

I did 2 versions of makeup, on d eyes,
i juz put base on instinct,
or mayb accidentally trying 2 imitate some movie superstar or something.
Somehow version 2 is scary 2 me.
haha.

Here i wan 2 voice out dat.
girls hv d right 2 feel/be pretty, however in a controlled manner.
i don suport face surgery of coz. No No No.
N putting makeup does not mean im ashamed of my own face.
If not i wont post my bare face here dy. >.<
Im lucky of wat i m n proud of myself.

Thanks god n thanks mummy!!

God bless.

Author
Molly

Makeup Artist
Molly

Credits
Molly

　马太福音15章耶稣说：“妇人，你的信心是大的！照你所要的，给你成全了吧。”从那时候，她女儿就好了。

so, hv faith y'all~

When can i let it go?

2011-08-29T10:49:00.000-07:00

Dear diary.
My feeling now is. sad. worried. happy.
1st y im worried?coz of academic, hard 2 focus, even though i really wana score better dis time.
n since im not genius, kinda envy other ppl who don hv 2 study hard n get dean list.
y im not born with luck n intelligence like dis..haiz..
happy coz. can go mamak, haha! long time din mamak lo~feel like foundation, young again.

sad. coz mentioned bout some1.actualy even though i kinda always c u. but never really i mention about u.
d sudden talk about u reminds me of y we r at dis state now.

I can stil remember very clearly wat u said to me.with ur other snobby fren.
in class sumore. not sure which lecture.
yeah frankly i don like her even though she's pretty, but she is ugly on d inside.
dat is wat i c.
y wana mention about u 2day? juz makes my mind sad now.
ppl say, d more u love, d more u hate.
mayb its true.mayb i do love u b4. datz wat makes me hate u even more.

i juz wan 2 forget u know. wat u said. i hate dat i loved u once.
How good it will b if i never know u in d first place, things wont b so wrong like today.
mayb datz y i never really open 2 any1 again.
u r d reason im like dis, happy enuf?

dis feeling is very scary coz it stays with u forever.
Even when time passed u will still feel d sting every time u touch d scar.
I juz wan 2 let it go. I don wan 2 bear this sadness anymore.
Please juz go away from my life.
Please..

haiz.
anyway. selamat hari raya to my muslim frens.(tryin 2 smile)

From
Molly
Tuesday
v5h3.3.3

matthew 16:19 我要把天国的钥匙给你。凡你在地上所捆绑的，在天上也要捆绑。凡你在地上所释放的，在天上也要释放。

worth to read dis

2011-08-17T03:37:00.000-07:00

Do you have someone you could call in the middle of the night if you needed help? Bible teacher Ray Pritchard calls these people “2 a.m. friends.” If you have an emergency, this kind of friend would ask you two questions: “Where are you?” and “What do you need?”

Friends like that are crucial during difficult times. Jonathan was that type of friend for David. Jonathan’s father, King Saul—who was filled with envy at David’s popularity and God’s blessing on him—tried to kill him (1 Sam. 19:9-10). David escaped and asked his friend for help (ch. 20). While David hid in the field, Jonathan sat at dinner with his father and quickly realized that Saul did indeed intend to kill David (vv.24-34).

Because of their deep friendship, Jonathan “was grieved for David” (v.34). He warned him of his father’s plan and told him he should leave (vv.41-42). David recognized what a good friend he had in Jonathan. The Bible says they wept together, “but David more so” (v.41). Their souls were “knit” together.

Do you have loving Christian friends you can count on in a crisis? Are you someone your friends would call a “2 a.m. friend”?

Thank God for you, good friend of mine,
Seldom is friendship such as thine;
How very much I wish to be
As helpful as you’ve been to me. —Clark

A true friend stands with us in times of trial.

Nice Harry Potter outing(no emo stuff here)

2011-07-27T03:39:00.000-07:00

Hi, its ... 6.40pm now.
Huh?normally i write blog in d middle of d nite right.
but well
since im in good mood now, so u juz listen sajalah.

Yesterday had a nice happy outing with a bunch of frens,
Some i know very well dy, some juz know not long,
but quite frenly edy~

Our objective dat dat
(Haih, y my writing skill so similar like writing a lab report now huh.
objective pulak>.<, bad influence)

Restart.Yesterday we all wan 2 go out to watch harry potter lah, wah so excited!!!
alot of my frens edy watch when it juz come out, im a latewatcher..so wat?
of coz not using d whole day 2 watch lo.
so
first stop we went 2 an eating dim sum place, call mingkok;
but its around 1pm edy
(coz nid 2 find my etp stuff so datz y so late, so sorry guys>.<)
then d food not much, but still
its very nice~
n not expensive considering its dimsum~

then next, we went 2 jusco liao, since tuesday mar,
not much ppl
so d ticket alot, no scare no scare~~
cant decide wat time 2 watch harry potter, so we went KBOX!

hahaha!, sing k for 5 or 4 hours like dat, not bad huh~
all d songs mostly baba n mama choose d, high or emo. no middle rank songs.
so we hv 2 prepare our heart 2 jump like crazy or sank into deep ocean.....
understand dat feeling ma?ok only i understand nia....

after dat barula we go get our tickets,RM13 each, well,since its harry potter,
so its ok 2 let my purse bleed a bit..

then,
we bot 10.15pm d movie ma
so we stil hv like 3 hours 2 go.
so we stop by at tesco , datz y 2day i din go pasar malam coz yesterday
bought d sayur mayur dy...so like housewife now...
then
i really love our dinner
coz
we had it at a place call EURO hOUSE
its near to our CHURCH leh
n it has clubbing feel~
+ its ladies nite,so girls have free bottomless wine refill dat nite.
wao!
i juz drink 2 cups nia la don scare moh...
not dat crazy.
n d food, well, mine not bad la, considering got salmon

(dis 1 mei2 d)

but d appearaance look kinda....tangled..
d best 1 is mama's i think, so huge!
worth lar...
then we chit chat, gossip ppl, satisfied ourselves by badmouthing ppl
(don learn)
around 9.50pm we head back 2 jusco again.
then we watch d final episode of harry potter~

WAOH

not bad oh harry potter
it din disappoint me really
but somehow feel not satisfied yet.
wat more do u wan la molly...

overall harry potter ranked top in my movie list ive watched so far!
n emma so cantik lar..itu ron ...haiz.....speechless...but i like him though
also, juz knew dat harry potter very short ar!165cm smth jer...aiyo..sad..
but nvmd la.

stil remember got 1 scene, sudenly some1 in d movie shouted hocus pocus or somehting sudenly,
n some1 in d cinema SHOUTED SH*T, haha! its not even a horror movie for goodnes' sake.
but datz y i like watching in cinema, enjoy watching with a crowd...

12.30am, habis cerita lo~
then head back utp dy.
i wear contact lens for so long dat day, my eyes like wana pop out liao.
next time nid 2 take d water out, or buy eyemo dy.

ok la, nid 2 go masak sayur dy, be a housewife.

k
enjoy reading~

jonah 2.8:those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs.
(ok m not harry potter fan dy>.<)

juz another emo post

2011-07-16T12:49:00.001-07:00

hi,
this sem leh
i nothg 2 worry so much like last few semesters
juz dat,
1 thing dat worries me alot
is my academic
very poorly done,
every sem told myself 2 get back to work!
go study!
but i juz cant do it
now screwing my test 1 again,
n even easy tutorials pun din go n do..
juz screw my marks like dat...
i learnt from previous semesters
mayb 1 mark for tutorial rili look like a bit of sand
bt
when it adds up
it wil cost u alot!
+ final exam always not easy to score.
me lo, dn wan listen 2 senior who always ask me score for coursework marks,
don score final, so even 1 mark in coursework also muz work hard or beg for it,
now i know d reason liao...
really can cost u a grade, from B to A, or from C to B.
dat is really alot!

haiz i really hope i can turn back times, i wan 2 study like a stupid when secondary,
so i don nid 2 enter unis like dis, dis kind of uni is really not for me,
d academic, i proudly say, actually d academic here not high class stuff
but y i stil score poorly?
coz i no surviving skill....
there is 2 kinds of surviving skill here.
1 is u really study for it, 1 is u pandai tiru.
both also i not good....haiz...not 2 say i don wan 2 tiru, but i dono how...
not 2 say i don wan 2 study, but i canot ma....
some1 please save me lar...
for d moment, i juz hope my cpdc can score better, seeing my coursemates all get full marks,
i really worry alot ler...
y la, so easy stuff stil cant do?if i know every1 score so good i wil try my best 2 cheat la.
haiz. din put heart enuf 2 cheat...
k
fellow christians, don lisen 2 me.im juz sinning now....

haha.
k
emo habis...wana watch movies again..
hihi
at least i finish 1 lab report liao ok?2moro wil hv alot of things 2 do again.....
oh ya, i met some1, i hope i can b like her, good in study, good in playing~totally my type~
i mean as in frens la, haha! thank god for letting me got dis fren, tq ya!!

ok la,doesnt seem so emo though, not like my other fren,hehehe!
nite diary...

Matthew
10.38

不背着他的十字架跟从我的，也不配作我的门徒。

雨总有一天会过晴的。。(don hv 2 read, coz nothg interesting)

2011-07-05T01:11:00.000-07:00

first nite dinner from mum

mum bukaking duriang

Hope she enjoy d durian...

wat is dis?can c?dis is a piece of SH*t...

these few days is the most most most lucky/unlucky -iest day for me

not main2 punya, really is super lucky n super unlucky!!!!!

1st

these few days, my mum came 2 utp wo! so nice, she came a few days, n help me do all d stuff in my room(cleaning, cooking, washing)
looks like slave right, bo bien lo...who ask her daughter so manja n lazy 1.hahaha!
but im very grateful, really 2 my mum, if not i don hv d time 2 study n play le lo..
well, dis is not d lucky part,
d lucky part is
my mum get 2 get into UTP n sleep in my room for a few days without kena security tangkap,
hehehe!
first time when i drive her back, d security din even look inside d car, juz passed!!
hehe!

but after dat, i don dare 2 bring my mum go out eat or anything
its not luck is with u everytime right.

then d others r happy stuff, but not lucky la(can also consider but its, how 2 say ar, not in terms of luck la)
other stuffs such as,
my roomate very fren with my mum lol, dono wat they talk about when im not in room,but can c my mum liked my roomate alot, same as me 2, my roomate really nice person....
n also
2day eat dao delicious d breakfast, at tronoh pasar pagi,
really delicious eh...i really liked, especially d 1 my mum ordered, wantan mi sup with char siew n a bit ma yao(minyak bijan), smell super nice...

after dat, my mum bought alot of things, food, underwears(haha), some r cheaps, some i think we kena tipu lar...especially d fruits.

After shopping at tronoh for 1 n 1/2 hour, i drive my mum go 2 ktm buy ticket first
dis is d first suey thing happen 2 me!!
i bought a ticket for mum, but i use my name since its cheaper, i really dono dat we cant do dat...
it cost RM21,
but when my mum get into d train, they said canot do dat, n double charge++, hv to pay more RM44 above like dat, total payment for 1 ticket is RMRM60, padahal a ticket for dewasa at 2pm actualy juz cost RM24, ini memang SH*****T stuff la! i tot dewasa RM34 so i try buy using student id ma....haiz, if know is RM24 jiu no nid do dat lar, stupid me la!! i really sad la, more sad than my mum, but she told me money is nothing, as long can reach is ok dy...haiz, super cool mum........

then after dat,
go 2 batu gajah shopping ler...go to a shopping mall call tf, i dono y, but i sper lev dat place
coz dat place is super cheap, especially d veges n fruits,
juz know i banding d harga, aiyo, memang kena pancung at tronoh la, at tf more cheaper leh!!!
even though normally shopping mall stuff more expensive, but not TF!
my mum n i both geleng2 kepala, then we buy alot there,hhahaah!
dono how 2 finish d stuff like dis..
of coz my mum buy alot of stuff for my sisters, n cousin, since she's going 2 visit them later.
pillows, bedsheets, fruits again, food and stuff...din get to buy a pair of shoes for my sister though, yeah shes new intake in kl uni, so yeah we buy those stuff for her...at kl super expensive...
but kesian my mum carry so much there....well, she is 1 superwoman...

then, when eveyrhting finish, i even bought 1 slurpee, plan 2 go 2 ktm stesen wait dy,
luckily!!! i go 1 hour earlier, n unluckily, i kena tangkap.
y i say lucky, if i go late juz now, mayb tak sempat bring my mum 2 ktm stesen dy.
but who knows i wont get caught in red light....
kena saman ah~~~~~~

now unluckily, d hungry traffic hunter waiting there 2 eat my money edy
i DIN EVEN know i langgar RED LIGHT ok
ini semua pasal d car in front la
she also langgar, n i juz follow her...
stupid me....
i cant even c where is d lampu isyarat, d batu gajah roundabout there memang messy la d traffic light
patut la police go there cari makan
so easy 2 make mistake 1
but
i din really nego with d police
n im proud dat i din bribe d police
saman me, ma saman lo, i rather give d money 2 government, wont give u also 1
u 24hour go wait there cari makan la u.
take dis as a lesson
next time i really really don dare 2 langgar red light dy,
dis is a lucky thing for me right?sayangi diri anda wat...

but d police station said i cant pay d saman first, nid 2 wait til next day they key in my details dy
baru can pay after dat.
haish
waste my time go police station

actually
my whole point writing dis cr*p is coz i 1st time during my 21st year i kena saman.RM300 oh!
haha!
such a young age....

but nvrtheless....

im happy dat my mum came here. d last goodbye juz now, i felt really sorrow...

n i wan 2 go back home so much!!

mum keep ask me go back first when d train not yet arrive, but i wana wait til d train leave...
yeah
i waited...
n when d train moved... a hokkien song pop into my mind..
火车已经到车站阮的心頭漸漸重看人歡喜來接親人阮是傷心來相送
我真的很悲伤啊。。。

ok la, 2moro tp test hvnt touch anythign yet.
i don wan 2 cry every sem c my result...really stress a..but i stil play2 lagi gok..y?Y!!!

i thnk when i kena saman, god is actualy doing his job, i din kena saman when i was stil in p lesen, n i kena saman when im at d age of 21(1st stepping in dewasa age)
thank you god. it means u ask me b kful during dewasa time, so glad i kena saman now!!!!

Matthew

9:22

[hgb]

耶稣转过来看见她，就说，女儿，放心，你的信救了你。从那时候，女人就痊愈了。

have faith in god's path for u!!

平淡是真

2011-05-02T14:55:00.000-07:00

亲爱的，
告诉你哦，
这几天蛮emo一下。
为什么？
我觉得
我是个贪得无厌的王八蛋。
怎么说？
看见别人比我开心，我会不开心。
忍着，还是要忍着。
属于自己的，不属于自己的，都从身边溜走了。。。
我忍！
听起来我好像在生气，不不
我只是emo罢了。
贪心？我就是。

某些事情，我不能控制，你要和什么人交往，我管你去。
但是，我认识你，甚至我信心满满的告诉大家
我比任何人更了解你。
我知道你心里一定有我，但是，为什么我的待遇，和她差那么多呢？
可能你觉得这有什么大不了？
你误会了，每次看你和她在一起，我有股说不出来的变态心情。
起初，我忍，当然，不只是看到你和她在一起我会这样沮丧，
你知道吗？她好像不喜欢我。
我真的尝试，fb comment 她，like 她的pic,
她都没有反应。tq也不会说。
我真的sibeh dulan这种人，明明我已经主动了但是
不懂她是太多朋友没空里我？还是装傻?还是真的没看到？

我真的搞不懂，你怎么会搭上这种人？
还好意思跟我说她人多好，我呸！
我就是这样咯，有什么话，当面我是说不出来，但是，我的内心
是这么诚实，单纯的。不是在开玩笑。

想想想想
当烂好人有什么用？！每次不理我的感受，你和她这么亲密，
那我说的话，算什么？被拒绝了还要对着你笑，你知道这样，
我很jialat的吗？
这是我的真心话，虽然，曾经有一次，是有那么一个机会
向其他人当面诉说，但是，我还是过不了自己，会伤大家感情的话，
说不出口啊~
只能痴痴的面对烂电脑说烂话，只希望你能了解我的痛苦。
然后默默地，请你将我当成你最亲爱的人。因为你在我心里
正是如此。

我现在能了解MR.S的心情了，当初我还以为，
一个男人，对另一个男人，又emo又suffer，搞什么gay事哦？
原来，感情，不单单是异性，连同性也一样能拥有的。
友情，就是那么酸甜苦辣咯，和爱情一线之差罢了。
Mr.S我很欣赏你对情义的执著。
虽然在你的blog，我了解你被朋友伤过，但是你以祝福的心，
和他的友情挂上句号。
但我不能这么做。i mean d last part.coz i don like 2 break up，coz i did dat once n until now i stil regret.

我还看了某些人的blog，坦白说，我喜欢看你的blog，因为
你sibeh会用词句优美，高级地简单描绘你的心情。正合我胃口啊！
ur blog is like a picture, where a saying goes, a picture says a thousand words.
不喜欢的，是，你的态度和心情。
可能我认识你，而且曾经不喜欢你，所以每次看你的blog,
你写一句我呸一句。
不要怪我不喜欢你，我肯定你对我也没什么好感的啦。
我是那么坦白，你呢？还是要继续在那边骄傲地自我保护个屁吗？
聪明的话，就知道我在讲你啦，老板娘！我也是蛮骄傲的查某，
but then 我对我的blog是那么的诚实，limit no name saja.
否者i kena saman abuse ppl nanti.
为什么，明明我离开了，看见你，我还是会不爽？
你也没有对我作过什么罪啊。i know!
我看不惯比我更骄傲独立自我中心的人。
bo huat,i have 2 label u like dat.coz u give ppl impression like dat.sorry!

我呢？我给人什么印象哦到底？
孤僻？骄傲？做作？不够温柔？
这些是我自己想出来的啦。
不同的人有不同的待遇，因而有不同的看法。

越写越离题了，看不爽不要看哪，complain多多做莫。

其实还有很多人我想写。
再写一个吧。
这个人，我也sibehjialat和他chat.
做朋友嘛，对现在的我来说，真心的就欢迎。想找个伴陪你熬夜的
你给我滚到太阳去！！
坦白说，我们蛮常chat，还蛮fren一下，为什么，常常听到
你说，molly姐人很好，很social，很fren,我都跟你讲了，我没什么朋友的。
你劝我那去找朋友啊~
难道，你不把我当朋友吗？
我干嘛浪费时间和你chat,听你和其他人去兜风，去游山玩水，
你也不曾约我出去喝杯茶也好，打球也好,
我好像只是你三根半夜的“最佳夜猫良伴”罢了。
朋友，你真是够了！不要再利用我了，我的时间不是给你这样花的。
是朋友就要一起出去玩。我对你失望透顶。

好啦。不要再写人家坏话了。你看不累，人家看了，心情也很累。
molly花，看开点吧。在外面，一定有属于你的一片草原。。

“人生短暂，不必计较太多得失！成功会被时间掩住光彩；失败会在岁月中淡化！人生最珍贵的不是"得不到"和"已失去"而是现在能把握的幸福！平淡是真！”某人曾送，谢谢你某人。。

天亮了。

我要睡觉。读书。很多事等我。下次聊。

matthew
4：19耶稣对他们说，来跟从我，我要叫你们得人如得鱼一样。

DJ got me in love~

2011-04-26T15:54:00.000-07:00

hi blog.
2day is a very exciting day for me
know wat?
i hope u stil remember 2day
coz
its d first time i eva so excited go CLUBBING!
oh yeah~

2nite we really rock d club, every1 is dancing so funny n sexy on d floor~
now i don think clubbing is something sinful 2 do
as long as u keep urself under control
its ok~right?

well, at first i dono wat wil i react when im in d club
coz i dono how 2 dance also
but really
under peer influence
anything can happen~

n since its my other fren's bday
we wana make him happy~
luckily my gal fren is super cool n outgoing
so we went down 2 d dancefloor
n i think only our gang dance like crazy jungle monkeys all nite
since its tuesday not so much ppl around also~
but stil we rock d nite, man!

i so love clubbing, especially going with my frens who r so sporting
i hope next time can go again oh, please please please...
let clubbing b my motivation 2 study, hahahaha!

Palm Sunday 17/04/11

2011-04-16T18:12:00.000-07:00

Dear God,

Im so sorry 2day i din go 2 church because i sick.
thank you god for watching over me through dis process
n cure me with your healing hands.

Well, since i cant go church,

I shud go n look up on wat is Palm Sunday rit?
Ya
actualy i dono wat is palm sunday
got ask around, but i nid confirmation myself, with god's word of coz

Now i know dy.
Details of palm sunday
- starting day for a holy week.
(HOLY week? it d week before easter. dat is holy week.
Y do we have holy week? its commemorating events in d last days of Jesus before he died for us.)
-Palm(sun)--1 week-->Easter(mon)
-during these duration, there is 4 days which r d most significant.
1.palm sunday symbolizes the day Jesus arrive in Jerusalem2.Holy Thursday/Maundy Thursday is the betrayal of Judas and last supper.
3.Good Friday/Holy Friday is the arrest, trial, cruxification, death and burial of Jesus Christ.
4.Holy Saturday, the day where Jesus rested in the grave.

2day gonna talk more about palm sunday.
Y we nid 2 celebrate it?
It is to celebrate Jesus arrival in Jerusalem for the Jewish festival, which is the festival of passover.Great clowds of ppl wave palm trees for him. They were so excited that they even put palm branches on the road. n even their cloths on it.
shouting, hosanna!

Extra info:
Palm Sunday also has the nick name 'Fig Sunday' because Christ had wanted to eat some when travelling to Jerusalem (Mark 11: 12-14). Figs were once traditionally eaten on this day.

ok, i think datz all, u can refer to Luke to hv a clearer understanding on dis special event n on easter day.

xie xie ni.

Luke 22:16 For I say unto you, I will not any more eat thereof, until it be fulfilled in the kingdom of God.
Luke 22:18 For I say unto you, I will not drink of the fruit of the vine, until the kingdom of God shall come.

转载一篇史上最感人的黄色小说

2011-04-01T23:10:00.000-07:00

见过最裸露、最黄色、最淫荡、最xx的黄色小说，但你见过最感人的黄色小说吗？

这里转载一篇，据说是史上最感人的黄色小说！现在不妨来感受一下黄色+感人到底是什么感觉！

正文开始：

我是一个孤儿，也许是重男轻女的结果，也许是男欢女爱又不能负责的产物。是哲野把我拣回家的。
那年他落实政策自农村回城，在车站的垃圾堆边看见了我，一个漂亮的，安静的小女婴，许多人围着，他上前，那女婴对他璨然一笑。
他给了我一个家，还给了我一个美丽的名字，陶夭。后来他说，我当初那一笑，称得起桃之夭夭，灼灼其华。
哲野的一生极其悲凄，他的父母都是归国的学者，却没有逃过那场文化浩劫，愤懑中双双弃世，哲野自然也不能幸免，发配农村，和相恋多年的女友劳燕分飞。他从此孑然一身，直到35岁回城时拣到我。

我管哲野叫叔叔。

童年在我的记忆里并没有太多不愉快。只除掉一件事。
上学时，班上有几个调皮的男同学骂我“野种”，我哭着回家，告诉哲野。第二天哲野特意接我放学，问那几个男生：谁说她是野种的？小男生一见高大魁梧的哲野，都不敢出声，哲野冷笑：下次谁再这么说，让我听见的话，我揍扁他！有人嘀咕，她又不是你生的，就是野种。哲野牵着我的手回头笑：可是我比亲生女儿还宝贝她。不信哪个站出来给我看看，谁的衣服有她的漂亮？谁的鞋子书包比她的好看？她每天早上喝牛奶吃面包，你们吃什么？小孩子们顿时气馁。
自此，再没有人骂我过是野种。大了以后，想起这事，我总是失笑。
我的生活较之一般孤儿，要幸运得多。
我最喜欢的地方是书房。满屋子的书，明亮的大窗子下是哲野的书桌，有太阳的时候，他专注工作的轩昂侧影似一副逆光的画。我总是自己找书看，找到了就窝在沙发上。隔一会，哲野会回头看我一眼，他的微笑，比冬日窗外的阳光更和煦。看累了，我就趴在他肩上，静静的看他画图撰文。

他笑：长大了也做我这行？

我撇嘴：才不要，晒得那么黑，脏也脏死了。
啊，我忘了说，哲野是个建筑工程师。但风吹日晒一点也无损他的外表。他永远温雅整洁，风度翩翩。
断断续续的，不是没有女人想进入哲野的生活。
我八岁的时候，曾经有一次，哲野差点要和一个女人谈婚论嫁。那女人是老师，精明而漂亮。不知道为什么我不喜欢她，总觉得她那脸上的笑象贴上去的，哲野在，她对我笑得又甜又温柔，不在，那笑就变戏法似的不见。我怕她。有天我在阳台上看图画书，她问我：你的亲爹妈呢？一次也没来看过你？我呆了，望着她不知道说什么好。她啧啧了两声，又说，这孩子，傻，难怪他们不要你。我怔住，忽然哲野铁青着脸走过来，牵起我的手什么也不说就回房间。

晚上我一个人闷在被子里哭。哲野走进来，抱着我说，不怕，夭夭不哭。
后来就不再见那女的上我们家来了。
再后来我听见哲野的好朋友邱非问他，怎么好好的又散了？哲野说，这女人心不正，娶了她，夭夭以后不会有好日子过的。邱非说，你还是忘不了叶兰。八岁的我牢牢记住了这个名字。大了后我知道，叶兰就是哲野当年的女朋友。
我们一直相依为命。哲野把一切都处理得很好，包括让我顺利健康的度过青春期。
我考上大学后，因学校离家很远，就住校，周末才回家。
哲野有时会问我：有男朋友了吗？我总是笑笑不作声。学校里倒是有几个还算出色的男生总喜欢围着我转，但我一个也看不顺眼：甲倒是高大英俊，无奈成绩三流；乙功课不错，口才也甚佳，但外表实在普通；丙功课相貌都好，气质却似个莽夫……
我很少和男同学说话。在我眼里，他们都幼稚肤浅，一在人前就来不及的想把最好的一面表现出来，太着痕迹，失之稳重。
二十岁生日那天，哲野送我的礼物是一枚红宝石的戒指。这类零星首饰，哲野早就开始帮我买了，他的说法是：女孩子大了，需要有几件象样的东西装饰。吃完饭他陪我逛商场，我喜欢什么，马上买下。
回校后，敏感的我发现同学们喜欢在背后议论我。我也不放在心上。因为自己的身世，已经习惯人家议论了。直到有天一个要好的女同学私下把我拉住：他们说你有个年纪比你大好多的男朋友？我莫名其妙：谁说的？她说：据说有好几个人看见的，你跟他逛商场，亲热得很呢！说你难怪看不上这些穷小子了，原来是傍了孔方兄！我略一思索，脸慢慢红起来，过一会笑道：他们误会了。

我并没有解释。静静的坐着看书，脸上的热久久不褪。
周末回家，照例大扫除。哲野的房间很干净，他常穿的一件羊毛衫搭在床沿上。那是件米咖啡色的，樽领，买的时候原本看中的是件灰色鸡心领的，我挑了这件。当时哲野笑着说，好，就依你，看来小夭夭是嫌我老了，要我打扮得年轻点呢。
我慢慢叠着那件衣服，微笑着想一些零碎的琐事。
接下来的一段时间我发现哲野的精神状态非常好，走路步履轻捷生风，偶尔还听见他哼一些歌，倒有点象当年我考上大学时的样子。我纳闷。
星期五我就接到哲野电话，要我早点回家，出去和他一起吃晚饭。
他刮胡子换衣服。我狐疑：有人帮你介绍女朋友？哲野笑：我都老头子了，还谈什么女朋友，是你邱叔叔，还有一个也是很多年的老朋友，一会你叫她叶阿姨就行。
我知道，那一定是叶兰。
路上哲野告诉我，前段时间通过邱非，他和叶兰联系上了，她丈夫几年前去世了，这次重见，感觉都还可以，如果没有意外，他们准备结婚。
我不经心的应着，渐渐觉得脚冷起来，慢慢往上蔓延。
到了饭店，我很客观的打量着叶兰：微胖，但并不臃肿，眉宇间尚有几分年轻时的风韵，和同年龄的女人相比，她无疑还是有优势的。但是跟英挺的哲野站在一起，她看上去老得多。

她对我很好，很亲切，一副爱屋及乌的样子。
到了家哲野问我：你觉得叶阿姨怎么样？我说：你们都计划结婚了，我当然说好了。
我睁眼至凌晨才睡着。
回到学校我就病了。发烧，撑着不肯拉课，只觉头重脚轻，终于栽倒在教室。
醒来我躺在医院里，在挂吊瓶，哲野坐在旁边看书。
我疲倦的笑：我这是在哪？哲野紧张的来摸我的头：总算醒了，病毒性感冒转肺炎，你这孩子，总是不小心。我笑：要生病，小心有什么办法？
哲野除了上班，就是在医院。每每从昏睡中醒来，就立即搜寻他的人，要马上看见，才能安心。我听见他和叶兰通电话：夭夭病了，我这几天都没空，等她好了我跟你联系。我凄凉的笑，如果我病，能让他天天守着我，那么我何妨长病不起。
住了一星期院才回家。哲野在我房门口摆了张沙发，晚上就躺在上面，我略有动静他就爬起来探视。
我想起更小一点的时候，我的小床就放在哲野的房间里，半夜我要上卫生间，就自己摸索着起来，但哲野总是很快就听见了，帮我开灯，说：夭夭小心啊。一直到我上小学才自己睡。
叶兰买了大捧鲜花和水果来探望我。我礼貌的谢她。她做的菜很好吃，但我吃不下。我早早的就回房间躺下了。

我做梦。梦见哲野和叶兰终于结婚了，他们都很年轻，叶兰穿着白纱的样子非常美丽，而我这么大的个子充任的居然是花童的角色。哲野愉快的微笑着，却就是不回头看我一眼，我清晰的闻到新娘花束上飘来的百合清香……我猛的坐起，醒了。半晌，又躺回去，绝望的闭上眼。
黑暗中我听见哲野走进来，接着床头的小灯开了。他叹息：做什么梦了？哭得这么厉害。我装睡，然而眼泪就象漏水的龙头，顺着眼角滴向耳边。哲野温暖的手指一次又一次的去划那些泪，却怎么也停不了。
这一病，缠绵了十几天。等痊愈，我和哲野都瘦了一大圈。他说：还是回家来住吧，学校那么多人一个宿舍，空气不好。

他天天开摩托车接送我。

脸贴着他的背，心里总是忽喜忽悲的。
以后叶兰再也没来过我们家。过了很长很长的一段时间，我才确信，叶兰也和那女老师一样，是过去式了。
我顺利的毕业，就职。
我愉快的，安详的过着，没有旁骛，只有我和哲野。既然我什么也不能说，那么就这样维持现状也是好的。
但上天却不肯给我这样长久的幸福。
哲野在工地上晕到。医生诊断是肝癌晚期。我痛急攻心，却仍然知道很冷静的问医生：还有多少日子？医生说：一年，或许更长一点。
我把哲野接回家。他并没有卧床，白天我上班，请一个钟点看护，中午和晚上，由我自己照顾他。
哲野笑着说：看，都让我拖累了，本来应该是和男朋友出去约会呢。
我也笑：男朋友？那还不是万水千山只等闲。
每天吃过晚饭，我和哲野出门散步。我挽着他的臂。除掉比过去消瘦，他仍然是高大俊逸的，在外人眼里，这何尝不是一幅天伦图，只有我，在美丽的表象下看得见残酷的真实。我清醒的悲伤着，我清晰的看得见我和哲野最后的日子一天天在飞快的消失。
哲野很平静的照常生活。看书，设计图纸。钟点工说，每天他有大半时间是耽在书房的。
我越来越喜欢书房。饭后总是各泡一杯茶，和哲野相对而坐，下盘棋，打一局扑克。然后帮哲野整理他的资料。他规定有一叠东西不准我动。我好奇。终于一日趁他不在时偷看。

那是厚厚的几大本日记。
“夭夭长了两颗门牙，下班去接她，摇晃着扑上来要我抱。”
“夭夭十岁生日，许愿说要哲野叔叔永远年轻。我开怀，小夭夭，她真是我寂寞生涯的一朵解语花。”
“今天送夭夭去大学报到，她事事自己抢先，我才惊觉她已经长成一个美丽少女，而我，垂垂老矣。希望她的一生不要象我一样孤苦。”
“邱非告诉我叶兰近况，然而见面并不如想象中令我神驰。她老了很多，虽然年轻时的优雅没变。她没有掩饰对我尚有剩余的好感。”
“夭夭肺炎。昏睡中不停喊我的名字，醒来却只会对我流眼泪。我震惊。我没想到要和叶兰结婚对她的影响这样大。”
“送夭夭上学回来，觉得背上凉嗖嗖的，脱下衣服检视，才发现湿了好大一片。唉，这孩子。”
“医生宣布我的生命还剩一年。我无惧，但夭夭，她是我的一件大事。我死后，如何让她健康快乐的生活，是我首要考虑的问题。”
……
我捧着日记本子，眼泪簌簌的掉下来。原来他是知道的，原来他是知道的。
再过几天，那叠本子就不见了。我知道哲野已经处理了。他不想我知道他知道我的心思，但他不知道我已经知道了。
哲野是第二年的春天走的。临终，他握着我的手说：本来想把你亲手交到一个好男孩手里，眼看着他帮你戴上戒指才走的，来不及了。
我微笑。他忘了，我的戒指，二十岁时他就帮我买了。
书桌抽屉里有他一封信，简短的几句：夭夭，我去了，可以想我，但不要时时以我为念，你能安详平和的生活，才是对我最大的安慰。叔叔。
我并没有哭得昏天黑地的。
半夜醒来，我似乎还能听到他说：夭夭小心啊。
在书房整理杂物的时候，我在柜子角落里发现一个满是灰尘的陶罐，很古朴趣致，我拿出来，洗干净，呆了，那上面什么装饰也没有，只有四句颜体：君生我未生，我生君已老。恨不生同时，日日与君好。
到这时，我的泪，才肆无忌惮的汹涌而下。

主题取(topic out)-not intend 2 let ppl read,but don intend 2 hide it also.juz don judge me.

2011-03-24T09:27:00.000-07:00

today.
juz feel wana write.
coz my heart is a mess.

its a mess.so there is no title for 2day's since there r so many titles in my mind.
tired;true feeling;story behind success;no pain no gain;etc

Now,i juz feel more mentally disturbed than tired.
despite dat im physically very down dis past few days, stil
sometimes, heart sore can break u down much more than wat physical damage can do 2 u.
Mayb because i juz came back from n event,so d memory is stil fresh for me.
my roomate's not around so i juz feel wana write a blog.

Juz came back from icn rehearsal actually.
everything went very smooth,nice 2 say,except for a group.
well,subjectively, i would think dis group of ppl think 2 high of themselves(some)
but objectively, both parties hv their own mistakes,n miscom is owez d leader.

dat is wat i tot, initially.

but dis group of ppl really shock me, how? i owez tot of them as a gentle
type of species. especially some very experienced senior, i can c it in them.

but 2day they proof me wrong, n right at d same time.

do u know y?

it is a very loong story.

first. i know a fren, same species with them. dis fren is super nice. but 1 thing very bad about
dis person is, SNUCK UP.

At first i tot, mayb dis fren is juz special ckit from d other species.N no1 is perfect right.
Of coz im stil fren with dis fren.

N also bcoz d other species, most of them show kindnes n humbleness, not like dis fren.

Then 2nite, i SAW dis same behaviour in d others, not 1,not 2,but almost all.(but stil got some is good)

Besides being snuck up, they don listen, they keep giving excuses, trying 2 blame us 2 other things which r not related 2 d topic.

Is dis how their country work? From wat i know, corruption happen everyday.
They use family relationship 2 get jobs, n they can brag about it.
Wat kind of thinking is dis?

But dis 1 person disapoint me d most.
coz i owez tot of her as responsible n loving n gentle.N good with badminton also.
Not dat i know her but, datz my first impression on her. She has d kind look.
Although we don talk much.

I juz tried 2 explain wat is not right with them. Not even scolding them.
Not right doesnt mean their performance is bad.
Juz dat, they did not fulfil our criteria. Out of topic. Datz all.(dis is wat our advisor wants,
we also hv no choice)
But then, she reasoned dat they only hv a few days 2 change their performance.
Wat do we expect?
So of coz, i tq for their effort, telling them tq again.
N i mention i don expect them 2 change so fast, juz dat i advice them 2 add more dancing
in their performance later on.
Then dat gal got angry.
She said, every year we did d same, dancing, we wana make a change dis time.
n also folo d theme(go green or something)
She also mentioned we never emphasize on whether we can make it a dance or drama.
Not forget 2 mention our mic is super lame.
(coz d mic is not working,long story la)
Well, THESE decisions r not done by me madam.
D judges don wan it 2 b drama,d mics r booked by logistics,but somehow im d person 2 b blamed.
yY?
I never tot we wil end up arguing about dis.
Coz it is a simple matter. All they nid 2 do is dance...
we explain 2 them,u can use drama,but try 2 make ur performers not ACTING inside d drama
but DANCING within d drama.
SAME DRAMA,SAME PLOT.BUT MOVE UR HANDS N LEGS more beautifully
for GOODNESS SAKE.
Is it so hard?

I really don wan coz i join events. i feel d nid 2 hv power.
Y?

Coz y we r in dis mess?
coz we don hv a powerful person among as.
As in some1 of higher level.
As like a lecturer. Or rector.
Wat they say is owez right,even though it may not b right.

N wat we say is owez wrong. No matter how right we r.

N we cant make a final decision coz we r not d high position ppl.

Everything ends with: I nid 2 consult my advisor;I nid 2 consult my supervisor;
I nid 2 discus with my head....c?

Watz d point arguing u all little pighead?

For me i never wanted 2 argue.

Those ppl keep raising their voice, n questionning us.
we r juz messengers... brainless pighead.
Can respect us a bit or not?

When u receive a letter from a postman, u don scold d postman coz wat d letter says 2 u.
stupid.
d postman is so innocent...

Eyes rolling, questionning, raising voices. Dis is wat u do when u fail 2 do something ur not capable of?
Go out from utp la u all,go back 2 ur corrupted country.
y even bother coming 2 our country?

N dat gal really annoying(dis is another 1)
she is hicom but knows nothing of icn. n juz now NEVER try 2 explain 2 her ppl
wat icn want n blame icn 4 giving little info, she is d hicom?hello?
d least a hicom can do is make sure ur performance is on d right track?
A HICOM!!!!not committee but HICOM!!Argh i feel wana juz puke on her!
Silly, she's juz 2 damn stupid n ignorant!!
Stupid hicom, ur job is only strip ur clothes 2 sell tickets.
yes datz wat ppl c in u u brainless b****!

ok la.enuf of d icn thingy.Most of the things i say is from my heart,i never do it aloud.
Coz ya, like ahmad said, im in d good gal group.hihi^^
Now move on 2 health alert.
haiz
starting from monday, i got quite a heavy fever in d aftn.
but at nite i started 2 cool down.however,
i keep feeling wana vomit(tease myself by saying,m i pregnant?)
n also start 2 diarrhoea.
ohmy gudness gracious lord help me!
d diarhia[d] is so so SO annoying!
i keep going 2 toilet
can i say, for juz 1 nite, i go 2 toilet like, 50 times?
my leg cant stay,my anus also cant stay long la like dis...
its not only happen 1 nite, d next day stillll like dat
now is d 4th day edy!!!
n i went 2 c doctor twice.
firs time, i go, doctor din tel me anything about it.
i told him,i fever,vomit,diarhoea,he din tell me anything.
when i come back i realise after i eat med n no change.
i start 2 panic a bit, i tot mayb demam denggi or wat
but when i research,
i saw dat..FOOD POISONING
n d symptoms r all so close...
so d 3rd day since d d hvnt stop so i went 2 check again
then dis time doctor told me ya
might b big intestine infection
doctor don tell me such words la..
i ask him is it food poisoning he said ya, then i understand la!!
how i know how i got intestine infection oh?
told me food poison then food poison la..utp doctors memang haiz ...
he told me 2 take no oily food..ok in utp i cant help it...
oh..n i got super super big ulcer at my tongue,never got dis big on tongue b4
actually cheeks also got 3,but now getting better.
juz d tongue 1 very uncomfortable...

ok la,datz so far i can tell about my health..
my roomate also in bad condition,n she go test again
i really pity her...
mayb i cook her something 2moro..

actualy i stil got alot 2 say
but d icn thing juz wasted d whole pages here....
next time la..my mood gone edy..
don wan write liao

nite!

17:1耶稣又对门徒说，绊倒人的事是免不了的。但那绊倒人的有祸了。

福中

2011-03-13T19:24:00.000-07:00

its been a while since i update myself..
2moro wil b having test, i find dat its a norm for me 2 update during test time??
y?
release stress kot...
n i hv something 2 say la,really..
mid sem break had been a great break for me(10-13/3)
even though im far from home
but there r a few things dat i really felt im in ..not love
im in kebahagiaan...
first day of msb, i went out all day 2 ipoh(thursday)
shopping,watch burlesque(nice!)
sing k(hon's first time)

nearly langgar orang lagi wi th my lame driving s kill
d most significant thing i did

was buy alot alot of "guan tou"
really not a good example 2 others la, but i like it wat
n its not so expensive..

but wasted RM120 like dat overall...T.T

friday is a waste la can say
first of all
slept like a pig whole day til aftn
then wake up
receive some1's call
ask me 2 cook??
wah, means i cook for them 2 eat?
means they trust my cooking?
haha,they dono how 2 die isit?
ok ok, im not dat bad ok..
so,3 of us
go cook at v5cafe....jiu lin paling kuat makan 1
haha
but never get fat wor...so xian mu..
d auntie cleaner there macam bu shuang 1..especially
90 lo, make d place so dirty!hahahak!
then i rallly forgot wat i did at nite n noon..as far as i know..
i did nothing special

saturday came
also slept til noon,ish
then do my lab report i think....
n yeah, best of saturday came..
we went 2 kampung bali!!i suggest 1 ler~
its a happy occasion
but pity sing siang
his phone hilang!!
haiz
i actualy don feel so guilty n dis makes me guilty pulak..
coz i suggest 1 ma...
dono how he handle it,but i hope he is ok..

Lastly(sunday)
i finally wash my laundry,my pillow, mattress cases after 1 month~
went 2 church as usual...
n i did an event job which took me whole nite, from 1am-5.30am 2 do it..
ya its in am..
n nothing much basically,
juz dat..got 3 ppl hadiah me things dat day
which makes me soo happy oh~~not bragging
but if got ppl give gifts normally i thank them using blog~
n i really like them.

First, is a bag of salad veges from my fren coming back from cameron!!
i dono how i can settle dis..how 2 finish it ah?really alot lehh...
share with my roomate^^
thanks yo nanas!!like it~

Second, is a bag of goodies from my roomate herself~
she juz came back from her foster home, its organised by utp
where they go 2 a home n become anak angkat for 3 days
so nice eh her..n her foster family gave a something so special
she nearly cried yesterday...i was touched when i saw it..
its a baju kurung with a very pretty scarf..
it is a symbol of family...makes me feel human stil have heart..
n relationship can be build among different culture...
N my roomate went 2 a few weddings those 3 days..n gave me this, thank you!!

Last but not least,
is d 1 i also love the most!
its a
phone sock!!
its a handphone protector la..
but wats special is....
its from laura!n it got my name on it~
if not mistaken she bought it from SINGaPURe eh...
Finally i got an imported gift!!
GOT my NamE,so nice 1...c d picture for a clearer picture...
the one n only oh~i so happy lolo!!!
i bu she de use it le..takut wil make it dirty

i wil treasure it baik2 d i promise...

so cute~~

Haiz waiting for my fren 2 come back from bintulu,coz he is bringing my hometown things back
2 me...ah,can cook wantan lo~~

faster come back oh....n i plan 2 raise hamsters....

Luke 17:4 倘若他一天七次得罪你，又七次回转说，我懊悔了，你总要饶恕他。

Sleepless again...

2011-03-02T09:05:00.000-08:00

Haiz...
2day has been a tiring day also
juz won a match against my own coursemate..
well
somehow not so happy coz m not satisfied with my own performance
+ going against my own coursemates somehow makes me bad..

d worst part is d leg n hand pain.especially d legs!!
my betis, my paha, all really like cacat liao la....
walk d stairs also susah, wana sit on chair also susah,
bend down 2 pick sometihng also susah..

now..
2nite i don wana think about 2moro's test
i wana sleep
around 11pm i blanketed myself dy, off all lights dy..
but then
a bit sakit perut
n really2 cant sleep

even my eyes is like
stil terketar2
its like im forcing them 2 close..CLOSE

but stil cant...
then my fren came n find me

then now..
i stil cant fall asleep
i really wana sleep
coz i wana study 2moro
i don wana study now
if i don sleep later i no energy 2 study
haiz
please let me sleep soundly can or not??
hai

n there's dis pressure around me
in heart
i dono wat
i feel so pressurized..
im not sure where it comes from
n i really wana cry

tried 2 make myself watch comedy series but no help at all
try 2 chat with ppl but stil don feel d pressure go away..
please jz let me know where d pressure comes from n settle it fast
i don like being like dis

Juz let me sleep la...please...insomnia har...
haiz...cant sleep la cant sleep la...hate i cant sleep at all!!

Phillipians 4:6

	Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.

Tired

2011-03-01T08:27:00.000-08:00

Im tired of everything edy.

People.
Events.
Study.
Sports.
Food.
Stomach.
Wake up early.
Muscle pain.
fat.
dark eye circle.
reading.
assignments.
stares.
disconnection.

Well, yeah, some of them i enjoyed even though i feel tired of it. Like sports.
Yeah, i played almost at least 2 hours each day now. coz got competition.
Really so messed up la my muscles now.
Feels wana laugh each time i wana stand up from a chair,
i dono how 2 express it, d pain makes me wana laugh, both of my cacat legs...
n cacat hands 2...luckily stil can write n type...

Tired of other things.
Hrm.
starting with food.
Everyday,
i eat like...lesser n lesser?n without PORK?
how 2 survive like dis?
i dono y, everyday i don hv appetite, but im hungry all d time.
Really got some serious health problem..i think is mentally, something disturb my mind.
but im not sure is stress or wat..juz i don feel happy while eating.datz all.
its DATZ ALL but its a big deal..i think..god mention in bible also ma, muz take care of health, don care about our clothes. in luke..haha go find it urself..so muz take k of health...

then..wat other things im tired.
haiz
assignments.
i really don like 2 do assignments, or lab last minute.
haiz..but my schedule so funny 1..
sometimes whole day i dono wat 2 do,
sometimes whole day also not enuf time for me 2 finish report.
basically.
time is sometimes 2 much or 2 less for me.
i cant find d balance....haiz...
how come ah...
i ask u all also no1 answer me d la..pity me....

(ah my poor leg, start 2 laugh lagi)

other things im tired of??of coz i hv...
but then, since i juz made a forgiveness prayer. i know sometimes i blame ppl but its because of my own fault la..2 sensitive n overconfidence.so i donwana say much about it la...

stil got?
hrm..
not so much la,nowadays got a more freedom life.compared 2 previous.
but happiness?got up above la, in certain areas,
but other areas stil nid help from god.
some things had lost, but new things has arrived.
I hope i can stay tough 2 adapt with new environments n new stuff everyday.
its giving me a shock n heart attack.

like a fren has mentioned, he lack ++++
i also lack ++++, please --- go away, i nid 2 set my mind 2 b more +++++
so i can feel ++++ 2 right?

hihi..

ok la,actually i wan 2 use a new format in my blog tau, i don mean my special way of writing.
juz my signature, wil end with a verse of the "blog"

As a father is kind to his children, so the lord is kind to those who honour him.
Psalm 103:13

mY 21st chap goh mei + valentine

2011-02-19T06:46:00.000-08:00

Hey there...

dis time feel like writing it..

coz its difren from b4

last time..

valentine n chap goh mei not same date 1

dis time

so ngam 1

dua2 sekali sambut

i feel very happy dis time

coz i got gift for both of d ocasion

even though i din go out n celebrate like other ppl else

while ppl eating happily

other members question me:wat r u doing in a meeting when its chap goh mei?

wel...

no1 teman me go out, plus if i don go meeting, u guys fire me how??

but hor...

dis initially-so-so-ocasion turns into a happy thing for me

coz i got presents

chocolate lagi tu,

1 is for chap goh mei, 1 is for valentine

don wan 2 reveal who these lovely ppl

but i do feel happy sincerely

thanks alot oh~~~

let me post d very tasty chocolate for u guys 2 c, make u jelus gao gao!!

well

datz all from me

i juz wana remember these ppl ~

tq coz u make my utp life not so lonely anymore~~~

oh ya, 2day hor, i nearly die of electric shock, d picture wil tell u everything...

datz all,nite2~^^

chocolate bar 1

chocolate 2

nearly cause my death thingy..

Since u not reading

2011-02-11T18:23:00.000-08:00

Guess wat, i feel more relieved when u said not gonna read my blog anymore.

I can fully use my power 2 chong soi u 100%

ur not reading right?if u do juz get out from here!

U know wat, sometimes i do think

wat actualy u feel about me?i mean as a fren, m i consider ur buddy?

mayb not.

coz im a gal, i cant go 2 everywhere with u.

i like 2 go out wat, i cant help it.

so it juz make me so sad, i cant join u everytime u hang out with ur guys

n u r so fake!n ur mind is actually a sh*thole

full of uncreative sense of ideas.

I don even call it an idea, its d way u express things, n think of things dat make u da*n stupid

i juz wanted 2 make things simple, i juz wanted 2 b frens! damn don u do dat 2 ur frens?

I do dat 2 my frens, b harsh, say hey u stupid come here!!its common.

mayb my language is 2 polite for u?

i told u 2 b polite also because ur not using d "fren" language + n ur dissatisfied with me

i like 2 marah2 ppl also, but dat is wat frens do, we laugh at each other
but d way u talk

yesterday n 2day,yesterday is like, JUDGING me,ACCUSING me, 2day,
MOCKING me.

I really feel stress like dat ok????
i dono how 2 continue talking FORMALLy like wat u wan now

y nid 2 b so formal with frens???

n mocking mocking mocking, n keep mocking me!

i tahan wat u say

til u say muz b formal abit

i really canot tahan liao

A fren being so formal 2 me????after all these years????????

wat u think?u think ur top student ah?

very high level ah?

heng

gila, GILA!

formal language use with frens...

dis 1 juz really touched my limit already.

Im some1 who treat frens like brothers n sisters, like families

relationships r important 2 me.

I really m so so so so so so disapointed 2 u..

I wana curse u!

but i know its not good. no benefit by cursing u.

Juz 2day, u hv left a deeep deeep deeeep slash in my heart.

I tell u, even after i recover, d scar wil stil b there.

After LEaving UTP i never eva eva wana c u again!

Never!!!

go die go die go die!!!!

i hope u never success, never get married, never get child, die alone in dis world!

Juz get on my nerves seeing ppl mocking me!

n For dis another Mr Cha, i hope u also wil die!

i hope u don hv transport go back 2nite!

u juz cuci pinggan in hotel!

when i ask u help me, u give me excuse, n never eva invite me, or assure me dat u can help me

heng! now msg me for my help!u go die la!u r d most annoying n self centered person i hv eva seen!

when nid help ask me, when i nid help, never try 2 help!!!!but when my fren coming 2 miri,
even offered 2 become driver?

wat i am 2 u?stupid ah?feel like being used!

I wil try n find every excuse i can so u cant hv chance 2 sit in my car 2nite!!!

u helpless piece of shit, u go die lah!

2 b pretty n 2 b friendly

2011-02-11T09:51:00.000-08:00

Hai blog

normally
i blog when there is some bad mood

2day

a part of me feel very happy

but most part of me felt tired of self discrimination

when i look in d mirror

sometimes, i kept think

y my eyes r not as big as other ppl?y my face is so round?y my lips so big?nose so blunt?

y m i not born 2 b attractive?

i do feel dat

i hv a good charisma, n wil b friendly if people r willing 2 b my fren

i reli like 2 find some1 2 chat, i owez thought dat

chatting is also 1 good media 2 make frens

sometimes, i even lower my own value, which is 2 find other ppl,mostly guys

2 chat with them, 2 make frens, not as bf, juz frens,not they find me

is i find them(u know wat i mean, coz im a gal, but i don feel shy 2 bcome d 1 who approach ppl)

but

doesn't dat means im willing 2 b ur fren?

2 chat with u?n help u?

but

how come some ppl who stil canot accept me as 1 of their fren members?

Im owez juz another person's clasmate, or an event-mate or even roomate.

i like 2 go out, sometimes i even try telling ppl, hey let's go out 2gether,

d response i got is, either car full, or busy with other things.

car full...dis reason always makes me feel more underestimate(?) myself...

means, all d chatting, all d help i gave, doesnt even worth a value 2 become ur fren

who can hang out 2gether, who can share fun n sadness 2gether

i tried already, i dont mean 2 give up now..

but, d process is really d hardest moment i hv 2 endure...

of coz, i wil keep helping ppl, 2 show dat im worth as a fren, n a listener

juz ask my help, i wil help.

dis guy really makes me sad.

i respect him coz of his result.

i respect him coz he also teach me alot, really alot.

but when i heard, i was being complained, i know ur help doesnt comes from ur heart at all.

i really m very stupid 2 study. i really m very hard 2 understand.

but no1 understand dat i feel ashamed of my own brain which cant compared 2 urs 2.

i really wana hate u, but i stil need u, frankly, coz ur result is good.

n i can feel dat u also hate me alot, u can deny, i even asked dis question lots of times 2 u.

ur saying no, but ur body language has shown it all.

even when my line is down, u use a very disrespectful tone 2 tell me,

how u hv searched high n low for me 2 settle academic problems.

i did not mean 2 ignore u, d line in utp is really bad, n i told u my gtalk is weird.

but d answer really makes me feel im not worth as a fren.
there is not even a word like"its ok" or "its fine"

wat i get is, "y u ignore me?" "how 2 settle dis matter?" "can u settle it faster"
"i need ur answer now"
even when i say sorry, ur next answer is juz "settle it fast"

i know, im d 1 who wronged u first.
did i not say sorry?
did i not mention d line is bad?
did i not mention y not u sms me?
is it so hard, so stingy for u 2 send me an sms?

u said, im d 1 who brought up dis matter. i shud b d 1 telling u d result, not ur d 1 telling me.
ok,very well said.
im very sorry coz i din inform u anythng at all.
but c, d way u talk 2 me, y do u nid 2 b so harsh?
could u at least b more gentle a bit?
wat did i do wrong dat u hate me so much?
did i cause u 2 drop ur 4 flat?
d way u talk, makes me feel,im not ur fren at all.
im juz 1 of ur coursemate, who gives burden 2 u by joining ur group.

ppl tell me ur nice, very helpful, all these few years, datz my impression about u also.
however, starting from last sem, ur attitude totally changed.
im d 1 who owez find u 2 chat, im d 1 who owez ask u things,
im d 1 who owez know about ur condition.do u know anything about me?
now?only know dat i live at v5,datz all.

i juz feel pity 2 myself.Ppl doesnt want 2 b ur fren, y do u keep kacau them?
I owz liked 2 b ur fren, i even tot we can go out 2gether, ipoh,
play bowling,watch movies, i don even hv problems hanging out with juz u,
of coz, not d bf relationship. coz i treat u like my own brother already.

i cant even beat a gal, who u juz know for 1/2 year. who happen 2 b more slim than me
more beautiful than me, more clever than me.

we know each other so long, u never even invited me 2 any outings,
n now ur going out with her?

i reli feel i messed up myself..guys r stil guys, they use their eyes 2 think...

im not shiny, not pretty, even when i offer myself 2 u, u wil stil choose another person.
i juz wanted 2 b frens, frens, is dat so hard?

really, u r not polite 2 me at all 2day. NOT AT ALL.

keep telling me, "y make things so complicated""listen 2 me"i tell u wat"watever"wat u wan now""i expect u 2 inform me"

ive never received answers like dat. at least from u.

u owez talk so nice, how come after 1 sem u turn like dis?

n said wana change ur appearance 2 become more lengzai.trick me wat.

datz y i changed alot also u know.cz i really treat u as my very good fren,who i can share n do same things 2gether, n laugh about it.

sometimes, i try 2 calm myself. mayb i turned 2 lengzai n u feel jelus of me, datz y talk 2 me like dat.

but its true wat, i more lengzai than u ... ask other ppl la..

but then, i feel like, i might really did something wrong 2 u last time.

like how i cheat u, how i lied, how i ignore u, well,
i don wan 2 admit it but, yea i do stuffs like this. im not perfect, i lied 2 everybody,
n all those lies i had commit n say sorry 2 u.
wat more do u wan?

tell u honestly, if i can find some1 better, i wil leave u.
if u wan my help next time, i let u die alone.
if next time u invite me, i ask u invite ghost.
i wil juz pay u watever u treat me good.
sign for u,can!teach u,can!(although im not good)
join my group,can!
boro my bike, juz take it!
but now, i don hv d strength 2 do so...
ur d good 1, im d bad 1...everything i hv 2 depend upon u..
its enuf, talking about some1, who is not handsome, who is not frenly 2 me, im sure u wil b thrilled 2 c dis coz i bet no1 eva write so much about u b4.
me 2.

YOU, dis 1 is a difren u, since 2nite im writing super bad things, n my kamceng chat not around
i wil write somehting about dis guy.lets call him cha.
cha, u hv disapointed me since d start,u help me, but u go n make frens with others.
ok d previous things i don wana mention.
but lately, wat happen 2 our frenship?
when u come, u only greet, i even can tell u my worries, i put my trust on u b4
but now, how come juz greet.go out eat also never ask me
last time u used 2 do dat.
n always last minute tell me things
y u wana boast isit?wana make me feel haiya, how come i dono.
right?
i know im not good, patting d teachers back like u, making frens with 4flat like u
taking notes from 4flat seniors like u, i juz a normal,self discriminate gal
dat really is in deep sh*t of life...
ur also very important in my life, i owez wana talk with u, chat with u, as frens
but u seem more interested in my other fren 2,
she owez said how u find her chat, how u asked her 2 come back 2 class...
i don mean i envy her.
juz dat, sometimes she is also boasty,
n u guys, juz makes me pissed off. how come never find me chat?

datz y, i said, pretty is important, frenliness?
i not frenly with u meh?i owez talk iwth u wat, n always bring good food for u
ajak u go makan also wat.
now, u go n chat with other prettier gal, ask her come back 2 class, then me le?
i no position at all.
suan liao u.

lastly, i wana wrap up with a good guy story.
I thank him, coz he teach me study 2day.
I thank him, coz he promised 2 b my fren, a good fren.
I thank him, coz he is very frenly 2 me.
I thank him, coz he is not a chinese, so i wont fall in love with him.
I thank him, coz he always give good advices 2 me.
I thank him, coz he listens 2 me.
I thank him, coz he take care of me.
I thank him, coz he owez sms me n asked me watz wrong when im feeling moody.
I thank him, for a "hello, good morning, how r u" sms.

Really, sometimes i hope ur a chinese, n ur a christian, then i wont mind 2 chase u.
I feel happy n sad at d same time when ur going out ipoh 2moro.Im happy coz ur happy with ur frens,im sad coz u cant bring me go gai gai..how i hope u got ur own car, then u shud b ok 2 bring me go gai gai le...right, best fren?

I really liked u alot oh...
I hope we can owez go study at irc, n i hope ur dream 2 become a lecturer comes true.
Right now, ur my best male fren, n ur not even a chinese.
Those 2 i hate above r all chinese, i really hate chinese ppl now..
They r so fake.
fake help.
fake smile.
stab u at d back.
help u nothgn if u don mention u nid help.

luckily.
got 1 chinese boy who manage 2 uphold u chinese guy punya face.
his name starts from T.
I really feel i can b ur good fren T.
coz ur humble. hardworking.n u don mind helping me at all.
When i asked u 2 sign my name during class, ur msg back 2 me shows so much kindness of u.
NOt like d other guy, when i ask, he juz,hmph hmph like dat.
U jerk, i tel u, ur not d only 1 who has a big heart u know, at least T has a bigger spacious heart than u.
so pity, i start 2 b more close 2 him only dis sem.
but god, please don make me give up, n please do let him c dat i can b a good fren 2~
please god..i really nid ur help. I promise, i wil spread gospel 2 him 2, if i got d chance, god
please create d chance for me god.
I beg u....
T, i wan 2 b ur fren!!
jia u oh T, i know its hard 2 study n take minor sumore, but i know u can excel, juz u nid 2 keep update ur face a bit, u can b more lengzai liao like dat, cut very hensem hair like me.
I know i not so good looking but at least my hair good ma...
u can do d same..sarawak ppl, jia u oh!

n Mr A, how come u din on9 dis few days, i miss u so much la!so many things wana tell u....
later u find me i forgot...

wat else i wana say?

Valentine day ma?
Hope some1 can celebrate with me ler....

N events, i hope everythign wil go smooth?dis sem im more brave i htink, at least i dare 2 speak a bit about my own opinion.
God i know i edy din visit u thru prayers for a long time. but please don leave me here alone ok?
thanks god~
i love u so much god....

The end.

molly
v5hl3.3.3
2.58pm

but let me ask u, is all ur help sincere?

y do u help me when u din even wana help at all?let every1 c ur true face ok?

its not sincere, not at all.

Silent Night

2011-02-06T02:24:00.001-08:00

2nite.while sleeping..

im sure it will b a nite where

d feeling will come back again

FeAR

of my sisters leaving me

they went back 2 their campus

b4 they leave

i asked my younger sis 2 carefully take k of my elder sis(haha)

bcoz i paling sayang my big sis

when d bus started moving

i felt like wan 2 cry

(while writing it, d feeling turns real, eyes turn a bit watery..)

hm...

i asked mum n youngest sis faster go back 2 our car

i wan 2 follow d bus!!

of coz i don mean follow all d way back 2 kuching

but, if can, i wish 2 c her as much as possible

even for a second..

while potong d car, i nearly crash into another car
but its my fault coz i potong recklessly

my mum keep scolding me, force me look at d road don look at d bus...

i don really care le

when we nearly reach d traffic light

with my speedy driving skill

finally i caught up with d bus,

d bus on d left, me in car on d right

all of us, including my mum
stop scolding me

we all laugh at them

even when they eating

looking out from window

use hand do some signal
these r all juz small small thing

but 2 me

is a big big happy thing

but then dis stupid car, dis stupid traffic light

when we stop, we stop at different level
d bus is more in front than us

then
when d lights turn green

i really wana kick those stupid cars in front

sibeh slow 1

d bus move forward...forward...forward

n dat was our last sight of my sisters....

with a sigh i turned right...back 2 our house

2nite

only mum, dad, n lisa(youngest sis)

wil teman me,
packing my road 2 utp

when i look at my emails

haiz...

so many event things, n i wan 2 join more sports

still thinking wana take or not
coz my credit so little...i wana take

but im not sure i can handle d stress or not

coz my academic is not stable..

n now

i got news

11 credit hour(dis sem i take)
if luckily get dean list

utp wont give u cert

wathehell

i think they shud juz cancel dis kind of structure~~

11 credit hour no cert??

but 1 sem d time is being cut short edy

11 credit hour is standard bah!!!!

y no cert!

actualy i don feel really k about d cert la

juz dat. if im d only 1 with 11 crdt hour...feel like im useless...

go back utp, so much thing 2 do...haiz....

event study, event study, frens

i wan 2 die liao....

its ok la...

i have 2 face it anyway...

i hope god wil b with me no matter where i go

i hope in everyhting i do, juz hope dat....god wil make d decision for me....

take k sis, take k molly

at least,

Sorry for turning you down..

2011-01-27T09:54:00.000-08:00

Helo blog, not long n we met again

well

i dono wat happen 2 me, but i juz browse thru fb n sudenly saw ur post

d first thing came 2 my mind is

r u talking about me?

hrm....then, i browse thru almost 1-2hours of ur fb wall status...

actualy its not suppose 2 take 2 long, but coz i noob fb ma

keep pressing d wrong button n hv 2 start clicking "older post" again from d start

i really dono wat 2 say
n
i got a million things 2 say
but i dono where 2 start

juz dat

i really thank you for ur "thing"

but i juz couldnt "accept"

n i really never feel ur action.

all i know is juz rumours.

i prefer ppl who wil directly tell me "things"

u don hv 2 say d "3 magic word"

but

u can express it ma, but i never felt it.

so don blame me for not "acepting"

n i really don like rumours.

u know how it feel when some1 tell me

"hey,u know dis xxx got "sometihng" for u"

but then? how leh?

i never get it from u, n ppl keep telling u got something for me.

lai lah come show it 2 me la.

i never Get d invitation pun...n all i can c is ppl keep consoling u because i din acept ur thing?

i actualy never show i acept or not ok.

really la i don like rumours la.coz ppl keep relate ppl who actualy don really hv any connection at all.

but mayb its coz of karma?coz i like 2 gossip other ppl 2....
sorry oh....
i wont gossip 2 much again...
coz now i know how it felt being gossiped...

i wil b gwed....

juz a random post nothing much, can juz ignore dis post...

我的小小梦想

2011-01-10T07:19:00.000-08:00

ok i give up..

given d title in chinese characters, i tried 2 use chinese words 2 write my blog dis time..

but..crap...

i dono how 2 start leh!

actualy i din plan 2 blog d, but juz now

while i was reading 1 of my fren's blog,

i was so envy of him

because he is going 2 china

wah...juz now saw he wrote a looot of places,like d forbidden kingdom..n wat else i forget
(hey u forbidden kingdom, u catch my eyes, lucky u)

i hope i can go 2 someday

even if im going with strangers, a trip or something

but if go with family or frens of coz d best la

i wil die without regret.....

i mean not so serious la...juz i really wana go 2 china, or paris, india, scotland..
a country other than malaysia...

n a very professional tourguide.
coz from my sabah trip previous day...
i find dat, 2 go 2 a new place, u wont get a loot of new experience without a real good tourguide

get a fren from d local place itself
dat is d best way

but otoh,if i act as tourist
n bring my fren around bintulu

i think they wil feel disapoint la
i don even know watz so special about bintulu other than d chicken leg....
ahahah!

well, datz me, a bit noob noob feel 1...

Ps: sudenly i remember, now im addicted 2 japanese drama, thanks 2 mita(my utp fren)
take loads of japanese drama from her, super love kamenashi kazuya now!!(get his latest
drama-yamato nadeshiko shichi henge aka perfect girl evolution)
actualy i used 2 feel jap ppl not so handsome 1, coz their eyes quite sepet, even kame eyes also like dat,but...i dono how 2 say, they shines 2 me....arh...(melting))
sayonara blog, cu again next time~

Behind the scene

2011-01-02T08:26:00.000-08:00

Hi ppl out there who is reading this 2day
i juz happen 2 fin watching a Malay movie "Qabil Kushri Qabil Igam"
Shockly(coz i rarely watch malay movies)
its a very wonderful movie
suits my taste though,
i dono suits u guys or not but certainly d whole movie,
i waas CRYing all d way~
actualy i think they can defeat korea in terms of
their sensitivity and detailness in bringing out d powerful feeling of romance

without ANY cheap kissing scenes or more R rated.....u know....over 18 xxx..no nid blah anymore..

(Juz feel a bit disapointed coz the plot is kinda "ohh,tsk...ok dokey" for me)

ahh, i stil not yet reach my topic yet! there i go..crapping again...
im not gonna talk about other stuff liao..

NOW
where m i?

ah!

guys guys guys~

hv u eva wonder, who are the FILM CREWS of a MOVIE?wat are their tasks?
actually mostly i can understand of coz, like makeup artist, costume, hair designer...

but some, i find it hard 2 diferentiate~such as d 1 i write below:
what is d difrenz btwn a producer n director?editor do wat?edit song or movie? screenwriter ???

hmpph
i guess i couldnt resist my inner self,
as u know
curiousity kills the cat(ok i was juz pretending 2 b smart, d saying has nothgn 2 do with me except d first word,gotcha!)
i wasted(don say like dat la...) 2 hours 2 find information about dis

VOILA!
here is a very very basic n easy-to-understand human language dat i filter from d websites
which contains words dat is 2 technical for me 2 know..

I present u d Candidates behind the scene:

1. Producer : There are 2 kinds of Producer. First, he is the CEO of the film,but he is juz some1 whose job is 2 generate money for d film. another kind is besides generating money, they get involve in d creative aspects of the film. Jerry Bruckheimer,Steven Spielberg, Adam Sandler, few of my fav producers~

2. Writer : Some1 who writes the Scripts of the film,d screenplay(including the plot of story,the dialogues etc),aka screenwriter. they juz write, nothg more noth less, but i really respect them coz its wat they write dat determines the level of d film, either it is soulful or dead meat. Generally, they are the artist of a film. Adam Sandler is also a writer.

3.Director : He is d person who conveys the script into physical actions for u ppl, d audience 2 c. Example la, in d script, the hero feels tired. So, the director wil determine, wat PHYSICAL ACTIONS the hero should do. He is the sifu ok? The actors all hv 2 listen 2 him 2 know wat 2 do,how 2 act.He is also the artist of a film.
Generally, 1 good film nids AN artist. If there is 2 or more, who shud d actors listen from 2 act out d script?dis is wat i got, quoted from dis site
http://www.aaronsw.com/weblog/001343
"On television, writers generally are the artists. But on movies, perhaps because people don’t care about making good movies, writers are treated as interchangeable, repeatedly rewriting each other’s drafts."

4.Editor : Some1 who cuts the footage 2 make d final movie. In UTP, we can call them the compiler(i hate dis job). The last person who r involve in d whole creative aspects. But, they r not given much credit coz they juz trim d movie, cut here paste there.

5.Cinematographer : without them, d movie wil definitely look ugly. They are known as director of Photography aka DP. Some1 who takes charge of d camera, lighting crews, supervisor in order 2 make d image of d video look gweud(achieving artistic and technical decisions related to the image)~
got Academy award for best Cinematography d oh, don play play~

6.other important crews:
director of music,costume design, stunt coordinator,special effect supervisor, etc
alot lagi, which seems uninterested 2 me coz u wil know wat is their job based on their names...

So, its d end of my blog now, i learnt a lot 2day, next time when i c a movie, i know who 2 look for, for me 2 know who gets d idea, or who make d scene look so damn sensational. u 2 right?

Au revoir~

actualy i wana write about those pictures above, but well, 2 many articles i hard 2 digest,leave next time la~

My fav movie now:

My all time fav actor/producer/writer/comedian:Adam Sandler(isnt he gorgeous~~)