Tales From the Library

Personal Calls

2015-04-07T14:07:00.001-05:00

I totally understand making a personal call in the staff room. Do you really need to be on speaker phone though?

SHUSH.

2013-10-02T15:59:00.003-05:00

I don't always shush people in the library, but when I do, it's because you're shouting into our courtesy phone.

Ew ew and EW!

2013-08-21T12:02:00.000-05:00

Nothing like cleaning blood off of a book on a Wednesday morning...

Getting ripped off by publishers.

2013-07-02T14:59:00.002-05:00

A girlfriend of mine posted about this on Facebook the other day & I thought I would share.

Can you believe the gall of some publishers? Both books have a strikingly similar title, an almost word-for-word back cover summary, same page count and PERFECTLY duplicated information on corresponding pages. It's a gently repackaged reprint, sold to the library as a different book!

Have any of you ever seen something like this before? Tell me about it in the comments!

"Lost" books: the bane of my existance.

2013-06-25T21:53:00.004-05:00

Why is it always the nice, brand new books that students "lose"? That's 5 this year now...

The dreaded overdue fine & public library hours.

2013-06-18T22:07:00.003-05:00

I find it very baffling when parents are displeased with me because their child has racked up an insane amount of overdue fines (which is really hard to do, because I don't charge the kids that much at all - just enough to hopefully instill a sense of responsibility in them & to motivate them to return things on time). Apparently it is my job to constantly chase after them & remind them that they do actually have to return the book(s) at some point and that they can't just keep them.

Quite frankly, these kids are in secondary school now, and a stamp on a "date due" slip should be sufficient in my view. A couple of students have had books since September 2012 and of course they are newer titles that other students have been wanting to borrow all year! Yet I should let this go without any sort of penalty? Doesn't seem fair to me.

Do parents not want to instill in their children to respect the fact that items that are borrowed must be returned, and must be returned on time? In all facets of life? What happens when these kids rent a car and return it 6 months late? You better believe there will be a hefty fine! Or what happens when they make their car payment late, or send in their apartment rent late? More fines, or evicted! There are going to be a lot of tough lessons being learned in adulthood.

I would also like to complain about the fact that almost all of the public library branches in my city are closed on the weekends in the summer! Some are also even closed on certain weeknights. This definitely makes it difficult to pick up the books I placed on hold! Also a loss for the kids who are stuck in the city on the weekends that might be getting into trouble or just wasting time now instead. I'm sure there are some of them who would like to be relaxing in a nice teen space and reading. The city is slowly renovating & updating some of the branches and it would be nice to see some expanded hours in the future as well.

Sunday afternoon shifts...

2013-06-16T13:54:00.002-05:00

I just had a patron come up to me and ask "where is the art section?" ummm...we're a MEDICAL library...

We have also had not one, but TWO patrons yell at us across the library for help. Both times it was for something related to Facebook. Are you kidding me?! I always find it to be the rudest thing ever when someone is too lazy to just walk the 10 feet to the desk & instead they'd rather wave their arms frantically until someone notices them or they just yell over to us & disrupt everyone else in the library who might be trying to do actual work.

Also just had a woman walk in & say she "needs to check out the pocket dictionary". Sorry, but again we're a MEDICAL library so we only have regular sized dictionaries or dictionaries specifically related to pharmaceutical or medical terms. This reminds me of the story someone from an aquaculture library sent in about a patron coming in on several occasions and demanding a copy of the Koran.

Broken things.

2013-06-11T11:09:00.001-05:00

Ah, the day of the broken printer. Where even after you put an "out of order" sign directly on the front of it, you still have 50+ students & staff asking "is the printer broken?"

No. I just made that sign and requested technical support for fun.

Although it WOULD be nice if the computers in the library could connect to one of the other printers in the building.

Its a long one...

2013-06-06T18:43:00.001-05:00

But worthwhile & important in my opinion...

Michelle Martinez, Assistant Professor and Reference Librarian, and Scott Vieira, Assistant Professor and Electronic Resources Librarian at Sam Houston State University are conducting a survey on how librarians and library staff view the collection of sexually related materials for libraries - whether for education, entertainment and/or research purposes.

By completing the survey, you can choose to be entered into a prize drawing for one of four Amazon gift cards at a $25 value. Click the link below to participate.

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/NZT9P79

Please feel free to pass this survey on to your library colleagues.

Reading of instructions (or lack thereof).

2013-06-04T08:59:00.000-05:00

It never ceases to amaze me how so many people manage to make it to adulthood (or even just THROUGH LIFE) with absolutely no ability to read instructions or just to use common sense & attempt a bit of standard troubleshooting.

Exhibit A: People who do not have library cards with us are required to sign up for a temporary internet pass. Once you open up Firefox or IE & leave the library's website, a box will pop up prompting you to login. The computers themselves don't require a password - the computer "name" is already entered by default & you just need to hit the enter key & the desktop will load. This is all explained very clearly in a box RIGHT ABOVE the login box on the computer screen - yet about 80% of people try to login to the desktop & wind up coming back to the circulation desk for help.

Exhibit B: One of our public photocopiers isn't used very often in the evenings & usually gets turned off by a day staff member near the end of their work day (to save energy). Right on the side of the photocopier, near the front, there is an on/off switch & a piece of paper taped right above it that clearly labels this - yet about 99% of students will come up to the circulation desk and tell me "the photocopier isn't working" or "the photocopier is broken" rather than simply use common sense & try the on/off button.

Do I expect too much of people? I'm beginning to wonder...

Shushing the librarian.

2013-06-03T14:53:00.002-05:00

There's nothing like having a patron come up and shush YOU, the library worker, in the library (sorry you couldn't handle the 30 second video spot I was showing my coworker). Especially when said patron is consistently the last one to leave at the end of the night & you & your coworker have to stand there & wait for her to pack up her stuff. EVERY. TIME.

If it were any other patron my coworker & I might have understood, but I am really irritated that a patron with so little consideration for the staff would have the gall to try to tell us that OUR behavior is unacceptable to her. Unbelievable.

Hilarious library question of the day:

2012-10-09T22:30:00.000-05:00

Manifesto: "Do you get danger pay for working in a library with wifi?"
Me: "...No."
Manifesto: "Oh. You should."

On new students.

2012-09-01T22:11:00.000-05:00

You are in university now. Do you really need your mom to come with you to get your student ID card? And on top of that, you really couldn't look up where to go & how to do it on your own - mom had to do that too? How old are you, 4?

Don't drink and dial?

2012-05-18T21:57:00.004-05:00

One of my friends posted this on her Facebook last week and I thought I'd share.

M: "Good morning, Library. M Speaking."
Patron: (Heavy breathing, slurring) "Do you have a book on aboriginal medicine and modern medicine? All that in one book?"
M: "Well, the University of M has a lot of books, so I don't know off the top of my head, but I can certainly check for you!"
Patron: "And to use the book, you need to be a student?"
M: "You need to be affiliated with the University of M in some way, yes. Staff at (hospital) have access though! Can I get your phone number?"
Patron: "I do have a card... with special instructions, just for me... I have a staff number."
M: "Can I have the card number? The 14 digit, right on the front. If I look for this book, I'll need to contact you."
Patron: "I'll call next week."
M: "What is your name, sir?"
Patron: "God." *Click*

And on today's episode of "manning the circulation desk"....

2012-05-06T18:00:00.002-05:00

psych health patient: What's the date today? April 14th?
me: 13th.
psych health patient: Oh, when's the world supposed to end?
me: Not til december.
psych health patient: Good, I've still got some time then.
me: Yep.

And in other news, according to Manifesto, one of our chairs "smells like someone had diarrhea in it."

Got any books?

2012-04-13T19:57:00.001-05:00

From Mr. TGS in Canada:

Child: "Are there any books here?"
Me: "I don't know... I think there are..."
Child: "Any GOOD books?"
Me: "Oh no, we don't keep those here."

^ Moments like those make me love my job.

Question of the day:

2012-04-08T18:28:00.000-05:00

Patron: "Where are those cubicle things?"
Me: *blank stare*
Patron: "Like, where people study."

I'm not sure who is made of more jello than brains today, me or him?!

I really get a kick out of my blog stats sometimes...

2012-04-07T14:55:00.001-05:00

Just checking my stats today and saw that someone found this blog by searching for "farting library patrons".

Well my friend, looks like you have come to the right place! Hahaha!

Someone also found this blog by searching for "of what help is library science to religion".

So, dear readers, of what help IS library science to religion?!

Questions from Manifesto:

2012-03-31T12:32:00.004-05:00

We have a patron from the psychiatric ward who comes in on a regular basis & is always spending hours typing out long documents (hence the nickname Manifesto) & always seems to lose them. Here are some of the questions he has asked over the past few weeks, notice that he seems to have some huge issues with Gmail. He also wears two pairs of pants at a time and for lunch, he'll bring in a plastic bag with six plain buns in it & occasionally a carton of milk. He has a bowl haircut that is about 2 inches above the top of his ear...we like to call it the anti-monk.

"Does Gmail work the same on the weekends as on the weekdays? I saved some emails last night and now they're not there anymore."

"I saved a document to my email, and when I came in the next day to open it, the computer told me I need a Japanese translator to open the file! Do you think my Gmail account has been hacked?"

"I just logged into all of my Gmail accounts at once, I have 3 or 4 of them, and then your computer system logged me out! Do you know what's wrong with the computers?" (Maybe just try logging into one email at a time, sir....)

"I was at another library yesterday, and I hadn't been there in a month, but when I opened up YouTube it already had me logged in!! Do you know why it would do that?" (Surprise surprise, he had logged into Gmail just before that happened.)

"Does the library always have human bones on display?"

"Are these real Mac computers?" (He then proceedes to start moving around the monitor & tower to inspect for signs on authentic "Mac-ness".)

"Do staff...monitor the security of these computers? I left for about three hours & when I came back someone had logged me off the computer and I lost all of my work." (Uh no...the computers will log you off automatically. This was also the THIRD time in a week he had come to the desk with this scenario.)

At one point he had gone past a church with a lot of people outside earlier in the day & asked one of my coworkers what she thought was going on. Her response: "maybe a choir practice!" And then he started to go on some tangent comparing a 9-5 job to religion.

Last night he had also decided that the mouse he had been using for several hours was "too greasy", so he proceeded to take a pile of hand sanitizer & start scrubbing the crap out of it. We do lysol all of our computers on a weekly basis & it got to the point where I actually had to go up to him & tell him to stop before he damaged our equipment.

Paranormal evidence @ the library.

2012-03-10T13:22:00.000-06:00

From Lisa in Canada:

During one of my first shifts at my new library job, a friendly older gentleman approached the desk and started making small talk with me while I set him up with an internet pass. He asked me if I believed in ghosts and I said yes. He said "well then I have a treat for you!" He then pulled out his digital camera and proceeded to scroll through the pictures until he found the one he wanted. He zoomed in on something and showed me the camera. It was a photograph of a forest with a strange glowing blue orb. He explained that it was a floating eyeball, and on closer inspection it actually did look like one! At this point my coworker at the computer beside me turned her screen to face me and gave me the look. She had opened up a Word document and typed in giant letters, PLEASE STOP TALKING TO THIS MAN!!!! Later on, she told me that he was a regular who likes to us our computers to upload his ghost phenomenon photographs.

Well....I liked him!

Feces @ the library: take two.

2012-03-05T14:24:00.020-06:00

From H.K. in Canada:

One day, apparently the public washroom on our second floor was occupied when an older lady desperately needed to use it. So instead of waiting, she decided to defecate in one of the nearby garbage cans. After doing so, she came downstairs to the circulation desk and told us what she had done, and that we should "do something about it." She then left and never came back. (Some of us speculate she was a mental patient at the nearby mental hospital.)
Luckily our janitor arrived shortly after to clean up the mess.

Gettin' your jollies @ the library.

2012-02-20T18:16:00.022-06:00

From H.K. in Canada:

One Saturday afternoon several years ago, a male patron came into the library (we are an academic library) asking for access to the internet (we often give out temporary passes to visitors). His only identification was his prison inmate ID card! This was the first red flag.

He went up to the second floor and proceeded to watch poronography at one of the computer terminals. A female student came down to the circulation desk and complained about it. My coworker went upstairs to verify, and he was indeed watching porn and masturbating under the table. We then called security who went upstairs to remove him. When they approached him he said, "Wait til I'm finished."

Security dragged him out anyway, thank God. He was not happy.

Farting @ the library.

2012-02-12T21:09:00.000-06:00

From Miss L. in Canada:

Back in my library school days I did a 2 week work placement in an elementary school library. During a storytime with the kindergarteners one afternoon, a boy in the middle of the group let an adult-male sized fart rip. There was a moment of dead silence, then the boy next to him stuck out his arm and pointed in his face and exclaimed, "Say excuse me!!!!" The culprit turned bright red and bowed his head in shame. I nearly died trying not to laugh. That was the best moment of the entire work placement.

Science vs. religion @ the library.

2012-02-04T10:32:00.000-06:00

From Maria who works in an Aquaculture Library:

One day we had a local scientist come in and demand our copy of the Koran (Quran). Which, obviously, we had no copy of as we are a strictly acquaculture/fisheries/ocean focused library. My coworker and I spent a good 10 minutes explaining to him that we are a science-based library with no religious materials. He then asked if we had a copy of the Bible, and if we did have a copy of the Bible, why didn't we have a copy of the Koran? (He jumped to conclusions on this one.) I then explained that we didn't hold a copy of the Bible either. He then told us that we should get one.

And that was the end of the Koran emergency - he really needed a copy of it for up in his office I guess.

Doctors @ the library.

2012-01-29T17:53:00.001-06:00

Story #1:
This weekend a would-be doctor came in with a ripped, crumpled piece of a Tim Horton's sandwich wrapper with a bunch of chicken scratch written all over it - it was apparently citation information for a study guide that he needed ASAP for an exam. Looks like he'll do well in the field, because I can never read my prescriptions from doctors. Messy handwriting: check.

Story #2:
Medical intern calls from airplane. Asks us to look through all of the books he dropped off the day before for a prescription he left inside one of them. Didn't know what the book was called. Can't remember what the prescription was for. Or who it was for. All he could remember was that he had slightly damaged the book before dropping it in the returns bin.