Tales in Mommyland

Parenting Redefined: Letters from Baby: Please don't let me cry

2010-12-30T18:45:00.000-08:00

Reading this made me cry looking at things from a baby's viewpoint makes things look very different.

Parenting Redefined: Letters from Baby: Please don't let me cry: "After reading many responses to this blog post, I just want to say that it is not my intent for this to be a complete debate on the merits o..."

Christmas Presents

2010-12-14T19:51:00.000-08:00

This time of year is crazy figuring out what to get everyone on my list is a pain in the rear. I have the family that has everything they want and hates everything else. So this year I resolved to shop early and try not to stress about it. My motto was going to be “you get what you get and don’t throw a fit” like we taught the kids I used to work with. Well that was all great in theory but in my heart I always want everyone to like what I get them so it’s really not that easy to just not stress about what to get everyone. So I did what I do every year I stress and wake up in the middle of the night trying to make sure everyone gets just the right gift. I’m not going to say what I got everyone since most read this blog. But my point is that when did Christmas become so hard. I miss the days when I was younger and no one expected a great present it was just exciting to get anything from me. One of the most exciting things for me this year is getting presents for my daughter, she is already excited by wrapping paper so opening her presents should be exciting for me.

Santa

2010-11-29T06:05:00.000-08:00

This weekend we did what all first time parents look forward to doing we took our daughter to see Santa at the mall. I was a little worried because my whole family has been pretty sick (Thanksgiving takes a lot out of us). We decided to take a chance and head over to the mall if we didn’t do it this weekend my husband may not have been able to go with us since this time of year work is super busy for him. So we bundled her up in a super cute dress her great aunt gave her and we were off. Sadly when we first got to the mall Santa was on a break. So we walked around for about an hour and went back by this time my daughter was feeling a little tired so I wasn’t sure how well she was going to do. Well we got to Santa and she just lit up she loved him. She was all smiles and beard tugs awesome experience.

Happy Thanksgiving Week!!!!!

2010-11-22T06:30:00.000-08:00

One of the big life changes we are dealing with now is learning how to change the way we do things, especially for the holidays. We used to be able to pick up and go whenever we wanted now we have to make sure the baby gets her nap and we have all her crap ready. One of the things that is really changing is how we celebrate holiday’s since we got together, wow, 8 years ago (has it really been that long? Where does the time go?) we used to go back and forth between the families first to my husband’s family since they do things earlier in the day and then to my families. This always made for a very long day and a lot of driving. We have decided to start doing everything at our house. We made this choice for a few reasons the first being that both of our families are super small so it seems silly to drive from on to the other when they could be held together and save a lot of time and a lot of calories. We also decided that staying home would be easier when we first got pregnant we realized that transporting a baby was going to be a lot of work just based to the amount of stuff they need. Once we had the baby we knew that going anywhere with our daughter was going to be a HUGE amount of work. She does not like the car which makes it difficult to go anywhere. She does not take formula well so I have to make sure we have enough milk to make it though the outing which can cause a whole host of other problems. We will see how this holiday season turns out hopefully better than it has started. This week is all about being thankful, so this week I’m going to work really hard to be thankful for the good and the bad since without the bad I wouldn’t have anything to complain about when things are good. This week I’m going to write posts about things I’m thankful for.

Happy Thanksgiving Week!!

I'm Back!!!!!

2010-11-19T05:52:00.000-08:00

I’m very glad to be back I hope you all missed me as much as I missed writing this blog. I took some time off of writing this blog because I was angry and didn’t really have anything nice to say. Don’t worry I wasn’t angry and my daughter. I was angry and all the people in my life who feel like I am a door mat to just walk right over, and then get angry with me when I have the nerve to say something about it. I have purchased a very lovely step stool to help myself get the heck over it.

Since my last post my daughter has perfected sitting which is crazy for me to watch. We used to sit her on the sofa a prop pillows next to her and pray she didn’t fall over now she doesn’t even need the pillows I still put them around her just to make sure she doesn’t roll off the sofa that happened once and it was horrible thank God our sofa isn’t very high off the ground or she might have gotten hurtL. Now I can sit her on the floor and she will just play with her toys cute as can be. She has also perfected rolling over both ways which is awesome because her main goal is to get to the dog. She has learned that if she doesn’t make a lot of noise she can roll to him and grab his fluff which let me tell you it is super funny. As soon as she gets her little hand around his fluff he jumps up super fast and starts licking her and that makes her just crack up. I help her sneak up on Batman now and then because I just find it so funny. I wish I could get a video of it to post you would just crack up.

This is Halloween

2010-11-02T06:48:00.000-07:00

Halloween is one of my favorite holidays, this year I got to experience it as a mother and let me tell you it was fantastic. My daughter looked so cute in her little flower costume. We walked around the neighborhood and visited the neighbors who all oooed and awed over how cute she looked. My mother in law came over and brought pie (how can you go wrong with pie, I just don’t think that you can.). We hung out and gave out candy it was perfect. I can’t wait to experience Christmas. All those boxes and wrapping paper for my daughter to get into that is going to be one heck of a day.

Getting to know me

2010-10-26T10:32:00.000-07:00

I saw another blogger doing this and I thought it would be a great idea for my readers that don’t know me or don’t know me well to get to see something like this so here goes.

1. Tell me something obvious about you. – I wear glasses
2. Tell me something about you that many don't know. – I am allergic to cats
3. What is your biggest fear? – Failure
4. Do you normally go the safe route or take the short cut? - Safe Route
5. Name one thing you want that you can't buy with money. - Brains
6. What is your most treasured possession? - My daughter
7. What is the one thing you hate most about yourself that you do often? - I’m critical… I keep my criticism to myself mostly but in my head I’m always thinking about the stupid choices people make.
10. What is your favorite lie to tell? - I don't lie
11. Name something you've done once that you can't wait to do again. - kayaking
12. Are you the jealous type? - Of some things, its’ not always predictable either but for the most part I’m happy when good things happen to other people
13. What is the one person, place or thing you can't say no to? - Anyone asking me for help
14. What is the nicest thing someone has ever done for you? - Taken care of me when I was sick
15. If you could do something crazy right now, what would it be? - Buy a new car
16. When was the last time you cried? - I cry all the time it’s like my fourth favorite thing to do.

17. When was the last time you felt so good that nothing else mattered? - I don’t think this has ever happened I am always worried about something.
18. Do you feel comfortable in public with no shirt on? - While I look great with no shirt on I wouldn’t want to be in public like that.
19. Name something embarrassing you did while being drunk.- I’m an awesome drunk I never do anything embarrassing

Push Present

2010-10-26T06:15:00.000-07:00

So I’m reading on my mommy website and I see a post about a “push present” which is apparently a present for having a baby. This gift is supposed to be from the husband as a way to say thank you for caring and giving birth to our child. I’m not sure how often this actually happens or what most women get but the ladies on this site get great stuff they seemed to get cars, jewelry , and purses among other things but wow that’s good stuff.

I’m thinking my husband must not be very grateful since not only did I not get a push present but I gave birth 2 days before mother’s day and I didn’t even get a mother’s day card from my husband . To be fair I wasn’t supposed to have our daughter until 3 and half weeks later, but he could have found time to buy a card.

Some of the women on my mommy website I think are just bitter about life. This post about the “push present” was supposed to be fun and a bunch of women are calling these presents selfish. I keep asking myself how in the world a gift could be selfish but I just haven’t been able to figure it out. I think a lot of it is jealousy because their husbands didn’t get them anything. I have to admit I’m jealous but I still think it’s a very sweet gesture especially if it’s not demanded or strongly hinted at and it comes from his heart. I don’t think anything could be sweeter than a man saying thank you for making me a daddy.

This is Halloween

2010-10-25T03:39:00.001-07:00

One of the best things about a new baby is experiencing things you have always loved with your child. My daughter is only 6 months old but already it is super fun doing things with her and watching her reaction. Every year Halloween is one of the holidays we enjoy most, we love all of the holidays; but Halloween is the one with the most fun and least amount of family obligation, it’s all ours and we love it. This year we planned to scale back our Halloween because let’s face it we are tired all the time. We normally do a huge grave yard scene in our front yard topped off with lots of fog bubbles it’s awesome. Setting it up and keeping it going throughout the night takes dedication and this year we decided we just didn’t have enough energy to do it, but we did go to our favorite pumpkin patch for pumpkins and I we had so much fun dragging our daughter all around and having her look at everything. Our pumpkin patch is like a small carnival it has rides, games and many animals. We got Sophia a pumpkin but she was so tired she didn't pay much attention to it at first. When we brought her home we let her play with it, she loved it! She sat there holding on to it and smiling at it, she really wanted to put it in her mouth but it is too heavy for her to lift. I am looking forward to dressing her up and taking her to visit all the neighbors it’s going to be a great Halloween. I get the feeling its going to be a great holiday season.

God Hate

2010-10-22T08:29:00.001-07:00

I read a lot of blogs and a lot of posts on a mommy website. One of the things I have noticed is that it’s wrong or racist or intolerant if you disagree with many issues these days but the one constant is that is fine to bash God and Christianity. Why is it that these are the only things you can hate? I see those coexist bumper stickers and it’s almost always these people who are bashing God. Why do Christians have to be tolerant of things they disagree with but no one has to respect our beliefs? I don’t understand how tolerance does not extend to Christians. I recently heard that it’s my job to change the face of Christianity because it’s my religion then it’s the Muslims job to change the face of Islam because of what the terrorist do. Not all Italians are mobsters and we all accept that this isn’t the way the whole Italian population lives and acts. This is a ridiculous notion everyone knows and accepts that not all Muslims are like the terrorists, that why is it different for Christians? Why do so many people care what my religion is and what I believe it doesn’t affect you? If you don’t want to be treated poorly don’t treat me this way and for all of you on these boards bashing God and Christianity maybe you should take a good long look at your hate and intolerance and see what your teaching your kids.

So I posted this on my mommy website where I’m reading all the hate and boy you would have thought I called someone’s baby ugly. Man I got a lot of anger which is interesting because it is from women that tell themselves they are open minded, funny how that works. I’m open minded as long as you agree with me.

Modern Medicine

2010-10-20T07:29:00.001-07:00

Growing up I was always taught that pain is weakness. My family looks down upon anyone who is ill or has a chronic health problem, whether or not its self created. It was never okay to be sick. So I was never sick. I learned to just act like I was well until I was either feeling better or until I was too sick to cover it up. I didn’t realize this was not how most people acted until I was much older. As a result I think two things really happened. One I am a lot less sick than most other people I have ever met. The second is that I feel like a failure when I’m sick. I found out in high school that I have a thyroid problem which really didn’t sit well with my family. They didn’t really seem to want to understand what the problem was or how to treat it. The doctor gave me a prescription and after that it was never mentioned again. As I got older I found that nothing had really changed and started to explore what was going on. The summer I turned 26 I was planning to have my wisdom teeth out (not looking forward to it). I went in and they did all the pre-testing before they put you under and the doctor told me no way he was getting anywhere near me. My blood pressure was so high that he wanted to hospitalize me. I convinced him not to and that I would see a doctor the next day. I did and that is the day my life changed (for the better). I found that my thyroid problem was in no way controlled and had led to very high blood pressure (it was at levels that can cause a stroke). The doctor put me on medication that day and it was remarkable how quickly I felt better. Looking at my daughter today I am so grateful that I finally had to confront my medical issues. Most women with thyroid problems as bad as mine are unable to get pregnant. In my mind my daughter is a miracle that almost wasn’t. I still struggle to accept that medical problems happen and they are nothing to be ashamed of, but when I look at my daughter, I thank God for modern medicine.

Mama Product of the Day:

This blanket is fabulous!! We bought it just after our daughter was born and she slept much better wrapped in it. We stopped swaddling when she was about 3 months old because we thought she had outgrown it, but have recently started up again. This blanket has made the transition from newborn to larger baby very nicely. We are able to wrap her up securely and it is darn cute. It’s a light weight material that works great in any weather I put her in a onsie normally but if it’s too hot just a diaper, if it’s cold I add socks.

Tummy Sleeping

2010-10-18T05:39:00.000-07:00

Last night was one of the worst nights we have had since we had our daughter. Sophia has mastered rolling over and has started practicing in her bed. She has never completely rolled over while in bed we keep her swaddled to help keep her asleep. Normally this just makes sure none of us gets any sleep. Well last night she started making noise and I went in to check on her and I didn’t feel her breath. I freaked out I ran and got my w and found that the reason I couldn’t feel her breath was because she was actually on her tummy. This seemed to work out for about an hour and then she wanted to turn over, turns out she was stuck. This continued all night so none of us slept. I can’t believe how much she wants to move around doesn’t she know she needs to sleep. Doesn’t she know that I need to sleep? I don’t think she knows or cares that my husband and I don’t sleep. I’m hoping she stops all this rolling around and waking up soon otherwise I’m going to either go crazy or hire a night nanny.

Priorities

2010-10-14T05:03:00.000-07:00

There are those people in your life that you can always count on to eat your food and drink your beer but will never do the same for you. I think I find more than my share of these people. I can always count on a few things one that I (or my husband) will be considered 24 hour on call IT department. I can always assume that my life and or plans are not important; I should be able to drop everything at a moment’s notice to do whatever they want to do. I can always count on not getting listened to. I can always count on not getting a call about cancelled plans or about running late. I have to admit that if there is an inconsiderate person within a 50 mile radius, I suddenly feel the need to make friends with them or am related to them. It’s not really that I mind helping out or even that I’m not really on top of anyone’s list (accept my husband). My real problem is the sense of entitlement that people have toward me. Why do I owe you my time, resources or knowledge? Now that I have a daughter my priorities are very different. I am working on using the word no a lot more. It is not going well people do not seem to understand that I have other things to do than take care of their issues.

Angry Woman

2010-10-13T07:09:00.001-07:00

Yesterday, I went to the Ob’s office to get my shot of depo. I had to take my daughter because my husband was at work normally she is really good but she was hungry and started (whimpering not loudly) while I was making my appointment for the next shot. I should say that my doctors office is very friendly I always spend 5-10 minutes chatting before making my appointment so while this is going on I start to feed my daughter who is still fussy (but not loud). An older women about 50ish walked up to the front counter and started yelling at the women at the desk and me from my daughter making too much noise for her. There was also a child in the waiting room crying but he hadn’t been crying for long. She was really mean and demanded that the women at the desk tell her when there would be no babies in the waiting room. They told her that they were an ob office and they couldn’t tell when they would have babies in I cannot repeat the things she said to them. Was appalled at how rude this woman was to these women who couldn’t really do anything. The doctor’s office was very nice to her surprisingly so I would have told her where she could take her attitude. They offered her the name of a doctor that didn’t have as many children in the practice. She decided to stay for her appointment but was rude the whole time.

Got Milk?

2010-10-12T03:58:00.000-07:00

My daughter has had gas since we brought her home. I always thought it was much worse than it should be but the doctor said nothing to worry about as long as she doesn’t have blood in her poo. Well to be honest I still thought something was wrong but figured it must not be to bad or she would have worse symptoms. So I did some research and found that she would have a mucusy poo if she was struggling with dairy. I’m going to be honest my books say look for a mucousy poo but what does that really look like? I don’t know so we have spent the last few weeks trying to figure that out and finally we are pretty sure we know and yes she is struggling with dairy and maybe soy. It will be much harder for me to give up soy so I’m just giving up dairy and the moment and hoping that will fix the problem. How is it that dairy is in everything? It’s like vermin it just creeps up on you and gets into every nook and cranny. Did you know that there is dairy in top ramen? Also dairy in my canned tuna and in soy cheese which I thought would be dairy free, since my vegan cousin eats it but nope it contains milk protein which seems to defeat the purpose of being dairy free. I feel more and more for those who are casein free due to an allergy, they are sneaky with it. Thankfully I don’t think my daughter has an allergy just and intolerance that she should grow out of. But wow those with an allergy really have to be careful it’s milky out there.

Top 10 things I didn’t know were a problem

2010-10-08T03:46:00.000-07:00

So this was going to be a top ten list but this was so crazy I didn’t think anything could even compete with it so it stands alone. 1. I had no idea this would ever be a problem. I had no idea sperm clogged up drains but then again it’s been causing women trouble for years.

I couldn't stop laughing when I saw this picture. I just can't imagine this actually being a problem. how much masturbating do you have to do to have this type of problem? I went to college with a lot of horny guy's that did a a lot of crazy stuff and we never had problems like this at my dorms.

Whore for a day

2010-10-07T04:05:00.000-07:00

I LOVE Halloween its one of my favorite holiday’s, I just love dressing up, the decorations and candy. This year I get to dress my daughter up, I’m super excited. We first start with a family theme then it’s all about the costume. We picked our family theme and so we started looking for our costumes a few weeks ago. As I looked through all the costumes I noticed that once you get out of baby costumes all the little girl costumes are pretty slutty. I know that we are fairly conservative but WOW I’m appalled by a lot of the costumes they have out for little girls. I don’t think any baby as small as mine needs to be showing wearing something this sexy/suggestive EVER. My daughter would have to have a shirt under and tights on to make a lot of the costumes I looked at in any way acceptable. I don’t think my daughter should be wearing anything suggestive until she is 22 and even then I wouldn’t like it, don’t get me wrong I don’t think that all people who wear suggestive clothing are whores, I do it myself. My problem is that we as a culture are dressing out little girls like much older women. I think it’s sad that we have to push our little girls into dressing this way, no wonder there are so many teen pregnancies. We are not teaching our kids to take the world on slowly, which is much better for our daughters and even our sons.

Sleeping with the fishes

2010-10-05T02:37:00.000-07:00

5 years ago my husband and I decided to buy a house (condo) we scoured South Orange country in hopes of finding a place we could actually both live in and we could afford. We had the help of a very interesting real estate agent. In the end we bought a town house in Lake Forest. Fast forward to today our home is worth WAY less then we paid for it L but we would really like to refinance to the lower interest rates of today. Well since we owe more on our house than it worth and we refuse to stop paying our mortgage (sadly yes this was advice that we got). We thought our dreams of a lower mortgage payment were over until we met Katrina Idstein who has been fabulous at helping try to find a program that will help us out. If you are in a similar boat give her a call 562-833-3673. If anyone can help you she can. One of the best things I can say about her is that she actually seems to want to help. Most people we talked to didn’t even seem to want to do anything. If you are looking for someone to discuss options with that actually seems to know what they’re doing Katrina is the one to call.

Sleep Sack

2010-10-04T11:03:00.000-07:00

This weekend I realized that while my daughter doesn’t like to be swaddled she does want to be wrapped up in a very tight burrito like wrap. To help this along, I decided that I would make her a sleep sack. I thought to myself this won’t be too hard. I quilt, how much different can it be. And to my surprise everything seemed to go really well until the zipper. Wow, I did not know how much trouble one little zipper would give me. After about an hour I conquered the zipper and I was so proud of my accomplishment. I stuck my daughter into her new sleep sac immediately. She didn’t seem to mind it so I thought this will work out just as well as wrapping her up. So bed time came and we got her all ready then I brought out her new sleep sack and put her in it again. She didn’t seem to mind it much. I laid her in bed only to realize my mistake. It was like a toy for her. She would kick her feet to see the material move…. Not what I had planned at all. I thought maybe it was just the novelty of her new sleep sack, nope twenty minutes later she was still kicking her feet only now she was crying too because she was sleepy and just couldn’t calm down enough to go to sleep. Sleep sack was not the answer to my prayers L but I wrapped her up like a burrito and within a minute she was asleep. So I wasted all that time and energy and an adorable sleep sack only to find that my daughter would have rather I just wrapped her up in the material. I guess this experience is much like the Christmas day cardboard box problem.

Babes in Toyland

2010-09-29T08:47:00.001-07:00

One of the things I never have to worry about is that my daughter won’t want to play with me. She always wants to play or chat (really anything that isn’t sleep, she is up for.). While I enjoy playing with my daughter I don’t have time to play with her all day every day. I have started trying to get her to play with toys and she will for a few minutes at a time but not very long (about as long as it takes to pee). Something I have noticed is that there really aren’t that many toys made for 4 month old babies that they can actually play with. The same with teething rings, they are so big they can’t even fit in her mouth. How is this effective pain relief? If it doesn’t fit in her mouth they are just ridiculously expensive pieces of plastic. I feel like toys at this age are really just a huge waste of money. We have bought so many expensive toys that she could care less about. You know what she likes, this stupid little ball. I feel like she likes it, because it’s one of the few things she can actually pick up and put in her mouth. They make baby toys as big as the baby; seriously she has this elephant that is as big as she is. How is she supposed to play with it? I have no idea how she is supposed to manipulate these things I understand you don’t want babies to have toys that they can choke on, but they should be able to hold them in their hands. She does seem to like her hands but I just can’t seem to let myself leave her alone with just her hands to entertain her. I absolutely refuse to sit her in front of the TV I’m keeping the TV in my back pocket for when she gets older. If she gets used to watching it now it won’t be so exciting when I let her watch it later. I just wish toy makers would make toys my daughter actually wants to play with.

It takes 2

2010-09-27T08:44:00.001-07:00

Why do women think giving birth is the be all to end all? I carried a child and birthed her. Granted she did not slide out of my hoo-hoo, it was still a tough thing have her ripped out of me. Still one of the things I hate to hear is a woman say it’s my child I delivered her. You never hear a man say that’s my child I provide the sperm to make her, you know why because it’s ridiculous. Getting pregnant does not entitle you to be a bitch for 9 months. Sure your husband should take care of the things that get harder for you and be understanding, but a baby should not give you the right to make your husband your slave. Along the same lines, birthing a child does not give you the soul right to dictate who can see that child and when they can see them (unless your divorced and have a court order). I don’t’ know why this stuff bothers me so much but every time I hear women using pregnancy or birth as an excuse to treat their husbands like a second rate citizen it makes me so angry. If you don’t like your husband don’t have a kid with him, heck don’t stay married. Your relationship will be much improved if you just admit the child and the marriage belongs to both of you.

Proof God is Real

2010-09-24T03:32:00.000-07:00

Today’s blog is really like a double feature at the Cineplex. Although the topics in this double feature are not related in any way, they come to my attention today. So here goes. I have proof God is real and I am today going to share it with the world. Please do brace yourselves, you non-believers and those of you who do believe, please get your smug vindicated faces ready.

Part 1
Last night before I went to bed I prayed to God and said this,” Lord mentally I’m wiped out I haven’t slept in days. I’m just not sure we’re all going to make it, if I don’t get some sleep. My daughter is feeling my anxiety level rise which is stressing her out too please God let us all get a good night sleep.” Now fast forward to present time as I write this it is 2 am and my daughter has slept calmly for 6 hours. This is not her longest record, but for the past few weeks she has only been able to sleep for 45 minutes at a time. Tonight's sleep cycle has clearly been a gift from God to stabilize my mental health. Thankfully there were no drugs needed (who knows how babies react to Ambien or for that matter sedatives). So there it is, proof that God is real. I hear you naysayers but I prayed and something happened that seemed impossible. So I have to say I’m pretty sure this was God intervening.

Part 2
There is a mom on my birth blog whose child has shaken baby syndrome (evidence points to her husband). The baby was removed from the home last June and put into foster care. This woman didn’t know her husband was abusing her daughter and has since filed for divorce. What I wanted to actually comment on is the fact that the state has still not given this woman her daughter back. She was shown not to have had anything to do with the abuse and did everything asked of her and still she can’t seem to get her daughter back. There is no reason this baby should not be returned immediately once the police cleared her. Within 24 hours, she should have had her baby back. But no, she still has to go to court and plead with a judge and hope he gives her daughter back. Her lawyer fees are so high that by the time she gets her daughter back she won't be able to pay to take care of her. This to me is appalling, a baby should never been kept from its family for no good reason.

Mommy and Me

2010-09-22T05:52:00.000-07:00

After the traumatic experience I had birthing my daughter, I was not really sure I would ever bond with my daughter. I thought I would magically bond with her and we would be blissfully happy evermore. Well the reality is that I do love my daughter, but I am really struggling with believing she loves me. I know that she needs me. I even think she likes me. My problem tends to start because I think that she would like anyone who fed her, played with her, and wiped her bum. I don’t think she actually prefers me over anyone else she knows. She is not one of those babies that cries the moment she leaves my arms. She doesn’t even really seem to notice as long as someone is holding her. Sophia’s first smile was not at me, it was at my mom. The same goes with holding her arms out to be held, she never does this for me to hold her. If I’m holding her she will hold her arms out to go to someone else. I feel pretty justified in thinking that my daughter could really care less who takes care of her as long as someone does.

My husband says this is really just my personality. That is probably at least partially right. I am the type of person who just assumes people don’t like me. Don’t get me wrong it’s not that I don’t like me, I do(I like me a lot I won’t bore you will all my great quality’s but there really are a lot of them.). I have just never been one to make friends easy. I think part of the problem is I am mainly indifferent toward large quantities of the population. It is a rare thing for me to actually like someone genuinely (I am great at pretending to like people. I consider this a good quality.) and want to be their friend. The people I like, I really like and I tend to be a very loyal friend. I just don’t seem to make that many friends. I’m lucky I found a man I liked. I never actually thought I would get married since I hadn’t met a man I thought I could stand for very long. Well I got lucky with my husband and I thought somehow that it would be the same with my daughter. Here we are 4 and half months later and I’m still struggling to believe that my daughter loves me (I keep hearing it will come, she is to little blah, blah, blah. I have to say this sounds like a bunch of crap to me. She is not to little she seems to bond with everyone else.).

The only consolation I really have is that at this point in time I have the happiest baby I have ever met. The doctor is very impressed she is meeting all her mile stones at age level without them having to be adjusted for her being almost a month early. So I guess all in all I don’t really have anything to complain about if she doesn’t love I guess that’s alright as long as she’s happy then she’s got the best I can give her and that’s my goal. But, I can’t wait until the day I look into her face and feel that she is really truly mine; and that she loves me and knows just how much I love her. I hope that day is not too far off.

Grumpy

2010-09-21T08:23:00.001-07:00

Today I think I work up on the wrong side of the bed. I wasn’t in a bad mood, just feeling grumpy. I find this strange since my daughter actually managed to sleep a little last night (she hasn’t really done that in 2 weeks). So I was fairly well rested. I didn’t even get out of my pajamas until after 8. Because of my grumpiness I decided I was going to get out of the house, obviously driving an hour to see my parents is a good idea (my daughter HATES the car). We were out of the house surprisingly quickly for a trip that was only semi planned. I had planned to visit this week, but I was thinking Wednesday would be better (I try to do very little on Monday). The drive was great. My daughter was awake but playing with her toys the whole time. That was a miracle! We get there and still I’m feeling a little off. I’m just not feeling my usual chipper self (you say bitchy I say not chipper they really are the same if interpreted correctly). Our visit was great Sophia never naps outside the house and chose to take a nap at my parents. The drive home was a bit rough, but really not as bad as it could have been. All in all it was a good day so I have to wonder why the heck I am still feeling so grumpy. Hopefully tomorrow I will feel much more like myself. I think I will just blame it on a case of the Monday’s.

Midnight Snack

2010-09-20T08:22:00.001-07:00

I hadn’t planned on starting my daughter on solid foods until 6 months. Recently, I have been feeding her every hour which is getting tedious to say the least. She doesn’t sleep through the night anymore. She fusses and cries which doesn’t help me get my sleep (which you know from my previous posts sleep is very important to me.) In order to retain my sanity, I have decided to try solid foods. Sophia is a fairly calm baby, needy but calm. So she tends to put up with my antics pretty easily. For example, today I thought it would be super funny to lash the dog to her car and see If he could pull her car around the house(it turned out not to actually be funny the dog just sat down and stared at me like I’m nuts.) Sophia thought it was funny and well it could have been funny. My dog actually weights less than my daughter which would have made it very funny to have him pull her around. We have tried banana’s, a week or so ago just for giggles and it was pretty funny. Absolutely no banana ended up in her mouth. It did end up on me, the dog and everywhere else. This incident made us think that we were starting way too early. We tried again today and it seemed like things went much better. We tried rice cereal and she seemed to take to it. I’m hoping it will help keep her from starving so she can sleep again. Here’s hoping