Tales of a Princess

Wineglass or Bust 2014

2014-10-18T06:45:00.000-07:00

My Wineglass Marathon Experience

   On Saturday, October 4th, I kissed my kids and husband goodbye, as I was about to go on my first overnight trip (without kids) since becoming a Mother. As I loaded my luggage into my friend Chris' car, I thought WOW!! This is for real! She and I, along with her 16 year old daughter were about to embark on quite an adventure. Chris and I had a Marathon to run!
   As we made the 3 and 1/2 hour drive to Corning, New York, we laughed, talked, and enjoyed some tunes, as well as each others company. The closer we got, the more excited we were, almost giddy. As we began to exit the highway, traffic got heavy. We could see the Corning Museum of Glass from the highway, but we just couldn't get there. So close, yet so far away. After some time and patience, we finally made our way to the parking lot of the Welcome Center and caught the shuttle to the CMoG to pick up our race packets. As we followed the sidewalk, we saw masses of people carrying Yellow bags with the race logo on them! We were here and all these people were here for the same purpose!!
   We made our way into the building and picked up our bags, race bibs, wineglasses and our bottles of celebratory Champagne. (Not that I'll be drinking mine, I'm keeping it as a souvenir) They tested the chips in our bibs to make sure they were reading and that the information was correct, then we made our way in to the Race Expo! The race expo was awesome. There were several vendors of race gear as well as nutritional products and the museum gift shop to explore. I left with a new running shirt and a hoodie with the Wineglass logo on the sleeve. :)
   Once we were finished with packet pickup and expo shopping, we headed back to the hotel about 30 minutes away. There we met up with Chris' Parents and Aunt and headed to dinner. After dinner, Chris, Sami, and I enjoyed a soak in the hotel's pool and hot tub. Then it was time to head back to our room and get our gear ready for the race. We debated what to wear since the forecast said it was to be in the 30's the next morning, and laid out our "flat selves". I Skyped Jake and the kids for a few minutes, then it was time for bed. We had to be up at 4:15 to get breakfast and head to the pick up spot to catch the shuttle to the start.
   I didn't sleep well that night. The bed was comfy, but not my own, and I was too nervous about running my first Marathon. 26.2 miles... was I crazy or just stupid?? I tossed, and turned, and wondered if I was the only one not sleeping. Finally about 4 A.M., I thought I heard Chris move in the bed across the room, and whispered "Are you awake?" I saw her sit up and saw her phone light up, and knew that she too was up before the alarm.
We dressed, packed all our stuff and headed downstairs to eat breakfast before the big run. At 5:15, we left the hotel to head into Corning so we could catch the shuttle that would take us to the starting line in Bath, NY. It was so cold that morning that we had to scrape the frost off the wind shield before we could even leave the hotel parking lot. Once we arrived in Corning, we stood about 5 minutes waiting for the next bus. The bus ride took about 30 minutes. When we arrived in Bath, we were ushered into a large garage type building that we had assumed would provide warmth. Unfortunately, there was very little warmth to be had, except for the fact that we were sheltered from the wind, and that there were hundreds of people crowded in this building. We had an hour and a half to wait before the start and I began to get even more nervous. After waiting for an hour, we decided to make our way to the Porta Potties and the Start line.
   It was almost time for the race to begin. Since Chris had previously run a Marathon, she knew what her pace had been and what her goal was, so we decided to run with a Pace group and made our way through the crowd to get near the runner holding the 5 Hour pace sign. We had a plan. I was feeling good, knowing that I could run that pace for at least the first half, and when the gun went off, we slowly began to move. Since there were 2000 runners, it took a while before we actually got across the official start line. But soon we were off and moving at a comfortable pace. For the first 4 miles or so, I felt like there was something stuck to the bottom of my shoe, but it was just my frozen toes not functioning properly. Once my toes thawed, I felt great. Chris and I had passed our pace leader and felt like we could pretty comfortably keep a 10:50/mile pace. At least for the first half. We walked through hydration stations, and sipped Gatorade as we walked. At Mile 8, we saw Chris's family cheering us as we went. It was a great feeling to hear all the people cheering as we ran by, and to read the signs everyone was holding. I was still feeling good through mile 9, but at Mile 10 my knee was beginning to feel tight. We stopped to use the Porta Potties, and just that minute or so of rest, gave my knee the break it needed to keep me going strong. At Mile 11, I had to slow down a bit and Chris went on ahead. At the half way point, I was still feeling good physically, and mentally. I was 13.1 miles in and I had made it that far in less than 2 1/2 hours. If I could keep that pace, I was on target to finish my first Marathon in less than 5 hours! By mile 15, my knee was really hurting, and my calves were starting to tighten up. I hadn't trained properly and my longest run had been a half Marathon. I Just kept going, running a steady pace and walking through the hydration stations and enjoying the scenery and the signs that the spectators were holding. By mile 18, it was so much more mental then physical. My legs hurt, and they hurt bad! I was in pain from the bottom of my toes, almost to my thighs, but giving up was NOT an option! I had no option but to walk for a while. A couple times, my eyes welled up with tears, and I thought I was never going to be able to finish. At this point it was more of a mental game than anything! I came up to another runner who was walking and we stuck together for a while, talking and encouraging each other. Her name was Katie, and she was from Pittsburgh. After walking a couple miles, I felt the pain ease up enough that I felt like I could run a bit. I bid Katie goodbye, and good luck, and she told me maybe she'd catch back up to me. Around the 22 mile mark, Katie caught back up to me and we shuffled along attempting to run, but ultimately walking most of the next few miles. It was then that we decided we would run once we hit the 25 mile mark. I had to mentally prepare myself, and when we hit that point, off we went. The closer we got, the louder people cheered. As we turned the corner onto Market Street, I could see the finish line. The crowd was cheering, and saying things like "you're almost there", "looking good" and "keep it up"! As I neared the finish, with Katie by my side, I saw Chris' parents, Aunt and Sami, and as they cheered, my eyes began to fill with tears. I had made it, I was just about to cross that finish line and I had completed a Full Marathon. As I crossed the finish and received my medal, I heard "Shanny, you did it! You finished!" and looked up to see Chris running towards me. As I hugged her, we both began to sob. Not even a pretty cry. We had a down right UGLY cry! She had completed her second Marathon, and I my first. I have never felt such a sense of accomplishment and pride in anything before! It was amazing! But, I couldn't have done it without the encouragement I got from Chris and my new friend Katie!

A few New SVG files

2012-05-16T07:43:00.001-07:00

I've created a few new SVG files... Finally! I'm getting ready to head to work today, but I hope to get them ready for public downloading in the next few days. I'll post again when they are ready... I'm also hoping to get a chance to do a little project with them so I have something fun to show you all as well.
Here is a hint... they have something to do with what I'm involved in right now. :)
But in the meantime, go HERE to make a donation in any amount, or to dedicate a luminaria in honor of or in memory of a friend or moved one, who is fighting, survived, or lost the battle with Cancer.
I'm participating in honor of my Grammy!

Making My Grammy Proud!

2012-05-10T09:39:00.002-07:00

    Today marks 4 months since I lost my dear Grammy due to complications from a Colon Cancer surgery. I miss her every day! It seems hard to believe that 4 months has passed. It still feels so raw, it still feels so fresh.
   Just a short time after Grandma's passing, we lost my husbands Grandma, who also had Cancer, and My Grandfather was also diagnosed with Colon cancer. I felt like a lead weight had just been dropped on my chest!
Just a few years ago, I lost a dear friend to Cervical cancer at the age of 26, leaving behind a husband and a 5 year old son. About 10 years ago, lost a second cousin to Leukemia, at the age of 15. She never even got to go on a date!
   But Thanks to Research funded in part by the American Cancer Society, I have 2 other cousins that have beaten cancer! One of them with Leukemia, and the other with Uterine cancer. My grandfather has had his entire colon removed, and has spent 3 weeks in a nursing home for rehabilitation. Today he goes back to the surgeon for his follow up, and to see if he will be able to go back home on his own soon.
   I have lost too many people I love to Cancer! I'm not going to just sit back and watch it happen any more! That is why I have decided to participate in the American Cancer Society Relay For Life. I want to make a difference in someones life. If it's one of my family members, or friends, or someone I don't even know, they all count. Each one of us is someones Mom, Dad, Aunt, Uncle, Cousin, Sister, Brother, Daughter, Son, Friend or something else. We all mean something to someone! I want to give everyone a chance to have another birthday, or celebrate another holiday, or see their grandchild born.
Please join me by donating any tax deductible amount either in your name or business name, or Anonymously, to me and my Relay Team; Hope & Faith. You can donate by going here:
http://main.acsevents.org/goto/ScrappyPrincess
Grammy I hope I've made you proud!

The Greatest woman I ever knew

2012-01-11T03:00:00.000-08:00

Last night, I lost my Grammy, but Heaven gained an Angel! Words can not even express how much this beautiful woman meant to everyone who knew her. She was kind and caring and nurturing.
She passed on a love of music to my Mother who passed it down to Me and I ultimately passed it down to my children.
She was funny, oh how she could make people laugh. I remember showing her my Ultrasound pictures when I was pregnant with my third child and had just learned we were having another boy... She was hoping to get a Great Grand-daughter.. She looked at my husband and said "you know how to build a house, but you don't know how to plumb it." I laughed so hard, I thought I might pee. My husband just looked at her in awe, not knowing quite what to say, not daring to say anything. I lost a baby in between Chase and Karter, and I truly believe that was my Girl. Now Grammy is in heaven with that Great Grand-daughter she so badly wanted.
She loved her girls and her Grandchildren unconditionally. She made it a point to come to our ball games and band and choir concerts, and she was our biggest fan, even if we didn't play the best. She supported us in everything we did, always!!!
And you should have seen her face light up when one of her Great Grandchildren was around. She loved them so much, and Oh how they loved her!!!!
She was a Godly woman, who not only taught us, but showed by example how important having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ is. I have no doubt that she is dancing on the streets of Gold right now, on legs that were once failing, rejoicing and singing, with a voice that was mostly gone on this earth. She is whole again, catching up with her Mom and Daddy, and seeing Aunt Marie and other family members that have gone before her. She is happy and healthy again!
I am glad she is no longer in pain, and at the same time, I grieve, I hurt, I wish she was whole again and still with us. I grieve for the memories that I had with her that my kids won't get to have. Karter just turns 2 today and he won't remember how incredibly Awesome this woman was. The only memories he'll have of her are the memories of the stories I'll tell him, or the photos I'll show him when he's older.

"Grace was in all her steps. Heaven in her eye. In every gesture dignity and love."

Author: John Milton

Here's another pic... finally

2010-11-17T09:27:00.000-08:00

I sat the boys down and took some photos of them in their Christmas outfits the other day, and although I took lots of pics, I didn't get a lot of awesome ones. Some of my favorites are of Karter. Just seeing the joy and wonder on his face as he played with the Christmas Ornaments made me smile. This picture is 2 of the photos I took, combined with a Close up of a Christmas tree, using Photoshop. My hubby is the Photoshop expert, and I'm thankful for that.

Hey Mom...

2010-10-16T17:29:00.001-07:00

Hey Mom, can I borrow your Cricut??? This is Mr. Karter trying to climb out of his play gym and get Mommy's Cricut cartridges... Maybe he wants to scrap!! I caught him doing this and knew I had to get it on camera. Hope you get as much enjoyment out of it as I did!

Hope you are having a great weekend!

What a stud!!!

2010-10-15T18:14:00.000-07:00

Here is my handsome stud in his Kindergarten photo... I'm polishing up my Louisville slugger, because I know all too soon, I'll be having to beat the girls off him! Special thanks to my very dear friend who was the photographer for the company that did the school pics!

Today's photo!!

2010-10-14T16:12:00.000-07:00

Here are my handsome boys enjoying the Farmer's Inn a couple of weeks ago. We all enjoyed some of the last nice days of summer, seeing all the animals and getting a pressed penny for our scrapbook! OK, here you go... 2 in a row.. LOL I'm on a roll! Hope you enjoyed!!

Photo of the day is back...

2010-10-13T05:06:00.001-07:00

It's ba-ack.... at least for today.. The photo of the day for today is my Sweet Sleeping Baby. Sometimes there is just nothing better than snuggling a sleeping baby to your chest. Karter is very much a Mommy's boy, and loves to snuggle... this is one of the few times that I didn't just let myself fall asleep with him... I mean he's so cozy and comfy..... and warm, sometimes it's hard to resist the urge to just let go and forget everything for a brief moment to just revel in his soft skin and hair and enjoy this time with him.... All too soon he will be up and running, and after they do that, they want to snuggle mommy less and less.... So, I cherish these moments with him.
Sorry there hasn't been a photo for a few weeks... sometimes life just gets in the way. Hopefully I'll have a bit more time in the near future, as I use a few vacation days and get a bit more time off work. I take photos nearly every day, it's just a matter of getting them here.. I'll try to keep up on here, but I'm making no promises!

I got to Scrapbook today!!!

2010-09-16T09:36:00.000-07:00

I'm off work today.. YAY!! I just worked 7 in a row, so it's a nice break. This morning Karter has been snuggling Daddy in bed and Chase is at school. That gave me time to sit at my desk and Scrapbook. With Pandora radio in my headphones, and paper, photos, and embellishments on my desk I actually completed a LO in about an hour and a half.... (That was with a few small interuptions) After thumbing through about 50 photos, most of which I am embarrassed to say are from Karter's first week on the outside, I decided which photo I wanted to scrap.
I just grabbed a bunch of stuff and this is what I came up with.. It really took me longer to put it all together than anything. I knew I had super cute ribbon that I wanted to use, and I wanted to distress something (the torn and inked edges of the photo mat) and of course me being a Sassy Blinging Babe, the LO would HAVE to have some bling on it somewhere. I found the stork left over from another set of stickers and the transparency with the word baby all over it happened to be hidden in my stash too. I figured now was as good a time as any to use it. I had no ideas in mind when I sat down, but I'm pretty pleased with this project.
I really should have been doing laundry instead of sitting here but sometimes you just need a creative release, and for me Scrapbooking is just that!

Oh, and by the way, sorry I didn't get a photo up yesterday.. I'll try to post one every day, but I'm making NO promises! Sometimes life just doesn't afford me the time to get a creative or interesting photo.

Just sayin'

2010-09-14T14:11:00.000-07:00

So, about the Fruit Puffs I wrote about yesterday... You know... The ones that are awesome.. I mean... Just sayin. I've been told that they are "Baby Crack", because they are so yummy that babies get addicted to them. I'm beginning to believe all Gerber Graduates Products are made with this same ingredient that causes babies to become addicts.

There should be a Public Service announcement.. or a Surgeon Generals Warning on them.. you know like the ones they put on Cigarettes and I'm sure lots of other products... It could read something like this:
Caution! May be habit forming.. May cause irritability in small children if not distributed quickly enough..Package may become empty at an alarming rate. Adults should Not use without Supervision of a child.
That last one is for the Mom's and Dad's (and Big brothers in my house) who "try one"... Trying one usually ends up in the Adult (or Big Brother) forgetting just who these snacks are for and eating way too many themselves! Because they are AWESOME.... Just sayin'
On that note, I'm headed out to cook dinner and feed a few of these to my baby while I'm cooking.

Way too Early!!!

2010-09-13T15:36:00.000-07:00

Here is Today's Photo:

Here's Karter at 6:30 A.M. He is way too happy to be up at that time of day... It might be the fact that I had just nursed him and he was sitting in his high chair. He knows when he sit in his high chair, he gets big boy food, and this morning was no exception. He was getting ready to have some Fruit Puffs by Gerber. Have you ever tried those things??? They are awesome... I mean... just sayin'

New Idea!!

2010-09-12T17:16:00.000-07:00

I have decided to try something new with my blog. I'm going to try post a photo a day. Hopefully I can keep up with this project... Just a warning... these photos will be random... Just whatever feel like taking a picture of each day.Today's photo is my son's desk.. primarily the Play doh mess that he made. He left all this Play doh out to dry out After he was told more than once to clean it up and put it away...and now he's grounded from his Play doh until he can be responsible with it.
OK, that's all for today. See you tomorrow!!

Tired of fighting with Blogger right now!

2010-09-01T07:25:00.000-07:00

OK, so I'm tired of fighting with Blogger right now, so the post I was attempting tp write today is not happening...

Some of my SVG creations

2010-04-24T11:52:00.000-07:00

Here are a few svg files that I have created using Vector Magic. Hope you like them. I'll try to make some more and have them available here for free download. All I ask is if you use one, you link back to my blog so I can share them with lots of other people as well. I thought with the end of the school year rapidly approaching, and my son preparing to graduate pre-school, I would make some Graduation themed svg's. Here are a couple different Graduation Caps: Click the picture to download the file.

Here is a Solid Graduation cap: Click the picture for the download.
Hope you enjoy, and check back for more free SVG's! Have a blessed weekend

Sassy Blinging Blog Hop

2010-04-17T03:00:00.000-07:00

Thanks for stopping by my blog and participating in the First Sassy Blinging Babes Blog Hop. If you've been here before, glad to have you back and Welcome to those who are visiting for the first time.

My newest obsession is a product from Craft Edge, called Sure Cuts A Lot. I just need to tell you I love this program!! I have had so much fun creating with it and cutting things out using my Cricut Expression. You can use it to cut any True Type Font that you have in your computer, as well as SVG files that you can create using a program called Vector Magic. (I'll explain that more in another post) Maybe I'll figure out how to put my own designs up for free download sometime.. if I ever get some free time!

I'm a busy mom of a 5 year old and a 3 month old, so I don't often have a lot of time to create. Fortunately, I found some great sites that offer SVG files for free download. I used a few of them for this LO and I love how it turned out!
The photo is my youngest son, at 2 months old, on his first St. Patricks day (looking cute as ever) wearing the shirt that his Dad and I created for him using Photo Shop and simply printing the design on iron on paper and ironing it on a onesie.

First I used an Irish Hat SVG from this site:
http://lshdesigns.blogspot.com/2010/02/paper-piecing-patte rn-freebie.html
I inked the edges of the green pieces and the entire shamrock with Green Pigment Ink from Studio G. I used Black Bazzill Bling Card Stock for the hat band, and DCWV Metallic Card Stock for the Gold Buckle.
Then I created a Pot of Gold using an SVG from this site:
http://svgshop.com/blog/?p=1106
I used some Metallic Card Stock from Best Occasions in 2 different colors for the Pot and DCWV Metallic Card Stock in Gold for the gold coins in the pot. Although it's hard to see in the photo, I added some Gold glitter just to add a bit more BLING to the LO.

I created my own Rainbow in SCAL, but later found this link for a rainbow that would have worked just as well.
http://lshdesigns.blogspot.com/2010/01/free-svg-rainbow.html

The Font I used for the title was a free download from www.dafont.com. It is called Action Is. There are some awesome fonts on this site and they are free to download, which makes them all the more awesome!

Thanks for checking out my blog. I hope you enjoyed your visit. Hop on over to check out what's going on at the other babes' blogs too. Next up is Kelly at http://foreverpaperdreams .blogspot.com/

Karter's Birth Story

2010-01-20T08:10:00.001-08:00

On Monday January 11, 2010 we arrived at the hospital just before 7am for my scheduled induction. I went to Labor and Delivery and they got me set up in my room with all the monitors and such on and told me Dr. Rapaport would be in soon to check on me. My nurse Colleen was very friendly, and we hit it off right away!
At 7:45 Dr. Rapaport came in to check me and said I was a good 3-4 cm dilated. At that time, he broke my water. It was such a weird feeling... I almost felt like I was peeing myself! He told me then that if I was planning on having an epidural, that I should get my IV put in soon. The first time the nurse tried to put the IV in, resulted in a blown vein, and since I'm not a fan of needles, she asked another nurse to come in and try to put the IV in. The second try worked just fine...although it was a little more painful.
The nurse then told me I could get up and walk, which I did for a little while, but it was only Jake and I at the hospital at that time, and he wasn't feeling very well, so he wanted to go back to the room and sit down but he didn't want me to walk by myself, so we both went back, and I just got back in bed and watched tv for a while.
At 11am, the Nurse talked to the Dr. and he deci ded that since breaking my water had done little to speed up or intensify my contractions that I needed to be started on the Pitocin. It took less than an hour and 2 upped dosages to get the contractions so intense that I was ready for the Epidural. During that time, I had been up sitting in the recliner, just relaxing and watching Ellen and chatting with my nurse. I called my mom and told her that she could start heading to the hospital.
I tried to hold off on the Epi for as long as I could, but I finally asked at about 12:15 if I could get the Epidural, and the nurse checked me and said that I was a "full 4 centimeters dilated" so yes I could get the Epi. She went to call the Anesthesiologist, and I waited and tried to breath through some VERY intense contractions. I tr ied to stay relaxed, but they were so painful, that my body just wanted to tense up every time I felt one coming on! When she came back in my room, she had me get back in bed so I would already be there for the Epi. The Anesthesiologist came in about 12:30 and by 12:40 I had my Epidural in and I was feeling NO pain! It wasn't easy getting the Epi in though because my ve rtibrae are "tight". The first try didn't work, so he had to move up a bit farther on my back to try again. When all was said and done, I told the anesthesiologist I loved him, and I told everyone else that "the epidural guy is a god". It was such a weird feeling having the Epidural for quite a while (much different than labor with Chase) before time to push, because my legs felt so heavy!
She continued to up the Pitocin every 30 minutes and I could feel the contractions coming and going, but they didn't hurt.. it was just pressure.
At 2:45pm, the nurse checked me again and I was 6cm dilated. She was supposed to be done at 3, but the nurse taking over was in a meeting with the Head OB nurse, so Colleen stayed on til 4, when Lisa came in and took over.
At 4:30pm, Dr. Rappaport called and wanted to know what kind of progress I was making, so Lisa checked me and I was 9 and 1/2 cm, and still feeling NO PAIN!! She told me that we would be pushing soon and that the Dr. was on his way over from the office.
At 5pm, I started to push. They kept saying that they could see his head and told me that he had a ton of hair. Lisa didn't think it would take too much pushing for him to be delivered, but after an hour, I was a lmost ready to give up! I just kept trying to focus on getting him out, and at 6:18pm My beautiful baby Karter Jacob weighing in at 7lb 12oz and 20.5 inches long was fi nally born! Jake gave my mom the Honor of cutting the cord (since he had done it with Chase). Welcome to the World Karter! We are so blessed to have you!

Almost time!!!

2010-01-10T03:50:00.000-08:00

Well, so much has happened since last time I wrote! The last time I wrote, we had just found out we were expecting but hadn't told anyone yet. This time I'm getting ready to deliver this beautiful baby! I've got a lot of catching up to do!
Here is a semi time line of events as written in my pregnancy journal (which once again I didn't keep up with)
5-19-2009: Took first pregnancy test.. I felt the results were inconclusive.. (maybe I was in shock and disbelief) The + was there, but it didn't look like it was supposed to.. one line was darker than the other

5-20-2009: Took a second test... this was a 1 line your not, 2 lines you are kind of test... There were definitely 2 lines on this one!
I was so scared!!! Scared something was going to go wrong, and I was going to lose this baby too, just like I had done 6 months prior!

6-3-2009: I had my first prenatal appointment, and to my surprise, the nurse calculated that according to my last menstrual period, I was 10 weeks pregnant already!!! I was scheduled for an ultrasound on June 26, but since the nurse felt I was farther along then we thought, we had better move the appointment up to June 9. They gave me an estimated Due date of December 30, 2009. I had been having Evening sickness instead of Morning sickness and even laying in bed at night made me nauseas! I knew that being sick was a good sign of a healthy pregnancy, but I was still nervous and worried about this baby!

6-9-2009: Today we had the first Ultrasound! Everything looked fine and we got to see the baby's heartbeat. According to gestational size, my due date has been pushed back to January 12, 2010.
Seeing the baby's heartbeat took a huge weight off my chest! I still worry, but not near as much as I have up to this point! We also told the family today that we are pregnant!

6-18-2009: Today marks 10 Weeks 2 Days! I'm still getting sick, and it's far worse in the evening than it is at any time during the day! Work really tires me out and when I get home, I'm ready for a nap. I still worry every day about the health of the baby, but I have faith that God will see us through to a healthy baby in 6 and 1/2 months. I've been taking pictures of my belly on Friday of every week for the last couple weeks and as long as I don't forget I'll take one tomorrow too.

6-30-2009: I haven't been sick the last day or 2, just a little queasy. I'm feeling a lot better. Today marks 12 weeks, so that's probably why the nausea is getting better. I'm starting to get excited! I can't wait til we have out next ultrasound. I really wasnt to find out if the baby is a boy or girl. I really would like to have a girl this time, but all that really matters in that we have a healthy baby! Thank you Jesus for giving us this precious gift!

7-3-2009: I've been feeling so much better the past couple days. I'm 12 weeks 3 Days now, and it is normal to start feeling less sick, but it still kind of worries me, (since the morning sickness went away when I lost our Angel baby). I'm trying to stay calm and relaxed, but sometimes it is difficult. I'm still praying and so thankful that God has blessed us with this baby! Thank you Jesus!!

7-10-2009: I had another Dr appointment today and we got to listen to the baby's heartbeat on the doppler. The heartrate was 148, that is slower than Chases was, and I wonder if this indicates we are having another boy?? It really does not matter, as long as this baby is healthy. I think I felt the baby move today! It was a distinct little flutter as I was standing in front of the counter in Jeremy and Jen's kitchen helping get dinner ready. I only felt it once, but I'm pretty sure it was the baby!

7-13-2009: Now at 13Weeks 6 Days, I'm feeling better. I officially start my Second Trimester tomorrow! I love my Miracle baby!

7-16-2009: Today I scheduled my ultrasound appointment! It is August 21, at 11AM. I'm excited to find out the sex of the baby, only 5 weeks to go! I would prefer a girl, but it doesn't matter, as long as it's a healthy baby! I saw the cutest onesie yesterday... It was pink and purple and said "if the tiara fits..." I thought that would be so fitting for a little girl of mine, considering I'm such a princess!

7-29-2009: I've been kind of paranoid and a little depressed lately... I'm feeling better today though. I've been worried that something will go wrong. I dreamed last night that we are having a girl.. I have crazy dreams most nights. I actally look forward to having the crazy dreams! I felt the baby move more today too. This time I'm absolutely sure what I felt! I got my hair cut a few days ago. I got about 8 inches off of it and got it layered. It looks really good now! Jake wasn't too thrilled (he never is when I cut my hair) but it will be easier to take care of once I have the baby.

8-22-2009:
We had the BIG ultrasond yesterday. It was so exciting to see our little miracle in there healthy and growing exactly on target! We are pleased to announce that we are having a BOY!!!! I'm so relieved that everything is perfect. He is handsome just like his daddy! Chase is SO excited about being a big brother and really thrilled that we are having a boy instead of a girl! The ultrasound was awesome!! We got to see our little man in 4D!!! They also gave us lots of pictures of him.. 14 to be exact! Now the task will be coming up with a name for this little guy! Chase just wants to call him Captain Jack Sparrow, and although it's a cool name, I don't think that will go with our last name very well..

8-25-2009: Chase wanted to write a letter to his brother in my journal... it reads:
Dear Baby Brother,
I love you!
Love,
Your Big Brother Chase

8-25-2009: I'm frustrated Jake and I can't agree on a name.. 20 Weeks today! Halfway to holding my newest baby boy in my arms!!! I can't wait to meet him, to kiss his sweet head, face, hands, all of him!!! I'm having a blast feeling our littl guy kicking so much! He actually woke me up with his kicks this morning. It was a much better wakeup call than an alarm!

9-3-2009: I'm past the halfway point in this pregnancy now. I'm so excited and can't wait to meet my little guyI still feel in awe sometimes, even as my belly grows and my feet swell (along with my hands), I still find it hard to believe that I have been blessed again! I am so thankful to have this opportunity to carry and eventually raise another child. God has truly blessed me! Chase is getting very excited too! He often wants to look at "stuff for our baby". Then he proceeds to tell anyone who will listen how to use said products. I find it sweet that he is so interested and wants to be so involved. I'm also glad we have chosen to let him be such an important part of this process of growing OUR family. We want him to know that he is just as important to our family as his baby brother. I just don't want him to ever feel left out. He is going to be a wonderful big brother and we are so blessed to have him!

So I have slacked and not even written in my pregnancy journal since September... A lot has happened since then. In late October (around 28 weeks) I was diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes, and had to begin watching what I eat (and drink) and had to start testing my sugar 4 times a day! I have been able to pretty much keep my sugar under control through diet alone, which is good. That means I don't have to take insulin shots or any other medication for the diabetes. Thank God! Because of the Gestational Diabetes, I have gone for an Ultrasound every week since week 34. They check to make sure baby isn't getting too big, and they also do a Biophysical Profile, to check on baby's breathing and muscle tone as well as the amount of amniotic fluid.

At the 34 week Ultrasound, baby Karter (yes we finally chose a name) was estimated to weigh about 5lb. 7oz.

At the 38 week Ultrasound, they estimated his weight again and he weighed in at 6lb. 10oz. However the ultrasounds can be off by up to 1 lb either way, so he could be bigger or smaller.

Today, I am 39 weeks 5 days. I go in tomorrow morning at 7 am to have labor induced. I'm a little nervous, but so excited!! We can't wait to meet the newest member of our family! God has greatly blessed us, and I couldn't be more thankful!

Questioning Faith

2009-06-05T16:24:00.000-07:00

I haven't been blogging lately, and I miss it, sometimes though, I wonder if I have anything to say that anyone would be interested in reading. Tonight, that isn't the case. Actually, it doesn't matter who reads my blog. Mostly, I'm writing it for me.
Tonight I'm dealing with some fears and questioning my faith. I had faith when I was a kid... I have seen miracles happen... Why now, when I'm praying for a miracle for my own life, am I so unsettled? I've been praying, and trying to just give my fears up into God's hands, but Satan is working overtime in this little head of mine.
I've already seen a miracle in that I have conceived again, just 5 months after losing our last baby. (We've never conceived in anything less than 3 years before) Why then, can I not believe that God has his hand upon me and this baby. I mean, I do believe it, I'm just having trouble believing that He is going to let me carry this baby to full term and give birth to a healthy baby. I mean, why should he, I'm a sinner, and not the best Mom in the world. But I have Love to give... LOTS of it, and I'm trying to be a better Christian. I'm by no means perfect. I just have to keep reminding myself that Jesus died on that cross for my sins, and I'm forgiven.
I am scheduled for an Ultrasound on Tuesday...only 4 days away and I'm so anxious and apprehensive about it. I'm afraid there will be no heartbeat in our baby... again! According to calculations, I'm already 10 weeks, which is farther than we made it last time, but I'm still worried. I'm praying for strength and peace about it. I'm trying to have faith... even as a mustard seed, but today, has been a very difficult day.
Why when I have seen so many miracles happen, can I not believe he'd do one for me???

Let him have all your worries and cares, for He is always thinking about you and watching everything that concerns you. 1 Peter 5:7

I am leaving you with a gift - peace of mind and heart! And the peace I give isn't fragile like the peace the world gives. So don't be troubled or afraid. John 14:27

He tells us right here in these verses that he will take care of things. I know this to be true... Sometimes we just need to be reminded.

By the way, we haven't told any family that we are pregnant yet! Hopefully we'll have good news for them on Tuesday.

Reminiscing

2009-04-17T04:14:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago, while Jake and I were cleaning out our bedroom (it has been a catch all for the last 4 years) He found the pregnancy journal that I not so diligently wrote in when I was pregnant with Chase, just about 5 years ago. I started to read it and decided I'd share some bits and pieces of it with you. And since today is the 5 year anniversary of my positive pregnancy test, I figured what better time to share these things... not to mention Chase is still sleeping, so I can think properly without interruption.
For some reason, I didn't immediately start writing as soon as I found out I was pregnant, but I did start writing about 2 months later.

June 19, 2004
Outside, I hear the voice of a child. I wonder who it is. I also wonder what your voice will sound like, what your cry will sound like. I wonder what kind of things you are going to like doing. Will you like golfing and fishing? Will you enjoy swimming and reading and playing video games and drawing?
Present
Chase does like golfing, and as of yet, we haven't taken him fishing, but we plan to go fishing this summer and his Poppa got him a fishing pole (instead of candy) for Easter, so I'm very much looking forward to teaching him how to cast and reel, and maybe even take the fish off his hook. (so he can do it for Me) He loves swimming and just being in the water in general... even in the bathtub. He also loves Video games and books, and I love reading books to him. He hasn't really gotten into drawing much yet, but he likes to scrapbook with Mommy, so that makes me happy!

Well, Chase is up now, so I must get going, before he turns the house upside down. There will be more reminiscing to come, so stay tuned.

It's been a while!

2009-03-26T17:46:00.000-07:00

I haven't written in a while and I have had a lot on my mind lately...
My thoughts are a jumbled mess. I need to try to get them in some kind of order. I had been doing pretty well for a while, feeling like I was healing emotionally from losing the baby, that is until it dawned on me, just how many of my friends are pregnant or just had babies. Is it wrong of me to be jealous of them?? Is it wrong of me to resent their ability to get pregnant or their ability to carry to term and give birth to healthy babies? Don't get me wrong, I am happy for them and nothing makes me happier than seeing those I care about happy, but it hurts.... a lot!

On a happier note though, I had a customer at work mention to me about how happy I always am and that I'm always smiling. He asked how I stayed so happy... First of all I thought.. "I'm good at faking it." Then I thought of a Christian song I 've enjoyed listening to lately... (one that often gets stuck in my head) I can't think of the name of the girl who sings it right now... or even the title because my thoughts are so jumbled, but it says "Do they see Jesus in me, do they recognize your face, do I communicate your love and your grace?" And I thought "do they see Jesus in me?" Do they see that I'm a normal person with problems just like the rest of the world, but I try not to let them get me too far down so that people can still see Jesus in me and see that I am a work in progress, just like everyone else, but I don't let that define who I am as a person. I'm not grumpy or mean to my customers. I always tell them to have a good day, and I honestly DO want them to have a good day. I want them to see what Jesus can do for them, just as he continues to do for me. I am who I am BECAUSE I do have Jesus in me and I am Thankful for Him!

Well, I have to cut this short. Maybe I'll stop procrastinating and write more tomorrow.. I guess it doesn't much matter where my post goes.. My blog is my thoughts, so if no one else understands it, it's no big deal.

My Angel Baby

2009-02-27T04:27:00.000-08:00

I haven't gotten to sit down and scrapbook much lately, but last night, I finished a layout I started about 2 and 1/2 months ago. Here it is.
This was a very emotional layout, and as just about anyone would imagine, very difficult to scrap.
The poem on the LO reads:

An Angel once lay beneath my heart,
A promise of life to come;
My little babe, was resting there,
Yet would not follow me home

My tiny, precious angel,
Had plans unknown to all.
For my Angel heard the voice of God,
And hastened to his call .

My Angel flew on fragile wings,
Into the Father's arms
To slumber there in peaceful rest,
Untouched by earthly harms.

So slumber there my pecious child,
Till I can come to you.
I'll keep you here, deep in my heart.
Till my journey on earth is through.

I'm still not sure if I'm completely satisfied with the layout, but I'm calling it finished for now at least. I started this page about 2 weeks after my D&C, and it sat unfinished and untouched until last night. I just couldn't come up with what I wanted to do as far as the angel goes. At first I just wanted some type of Angel embellishment to put somewhere on the page along with the poem. Then I decided I wanted angel wings coming from behind the poem, but when I couldn't find anything like I was looking for (either online or in my Local Scrapbook Store) I decided to print the poem on Vellum and put an angel above it. 2 problems with that idea, The first problem being that I didn't have enough room left on the page for something like that, and the second problem being that I could not find an angel picture that I liked. When I did a google image search, I found a whole bunch of Anime angels and Topless angels, and all kinds of other weird angels. I just couldn't find what I wanted! Then I remembered the E-card my mom had sent me the day we found out about the baby. That was where I got the poem too... why hadn't I thought of it before? In it, was a beautiful image of an angel holding a baby. It was just what I had been looking for!
The day my mom had sent me that E-Card, I was so mad at her. (Not to mention how mad I was at God?) I thought it was very insensitive of her and I hated that she sent it to me, how dare she tell me that my baby was in heaven, the very day that I had lost it! I didn't want my baby in Heaven . I wanted my baby inside me, growing and thriving. But for some reason, I never deleted that Ecard from my inbox. I'm sure God knew that someday, I would be glad to have it and that it would be used as a tool to help me in the healing process. I don't know how many times I have gone back and read that poem and cried my eyes out, missing my baby, thinking about all the things I'll never get to share with Him/Her. So, when I went back to read it once again last night, and I didn't cry my eyes out, I knew God had given me enough peace to finally scrapbook this very important part of my life, just like any other memory.

So, when I sat down last night, and decided to finish this LO, again, I racked my brain trying to decide exactly HOW, I wanted to do it. I knew I wanted an Angel in the LO somewhere and then it dawned on me, I could print on Vellum and have the Angel BEHIND the poem. Since I don't have a photo editing program in my computer, (and I don't really know how to use Photoshop very well) I enlisted Jake's help in removing the background from the angel and placing the of poem over top of it. I enjoyed working on this with my hubby. I feel likle it helped us connect a little more. I had been kind of bitter towards him for a while after we lost the baby. I was upset that it wasn't nearly as hard for him to heal after the loss. I had to heal emotionally, AND physically, and I'm still a work in progress, but, I am so thankful that God has given me a loving and supportive husband, who is knows how important this baby is to me and knows how important it is for me to ceate this Tribute. Even more, I'm Thankful that God has given me some peace about the situation.
Thank You Jesus!
Nearly 4 months after our loss, I still miss that baby, and I do still cry. (I've shed more than a few tears just writing this post) But I'm a much better person for it, and a better Christian. I have gone to God in Prayer, and Thanks so much more in the last 4 months than I have in the past 8 years.
Well, Chase is up now, and my train of thought has derailed.
And before I forget to tell you. Thank you for all the prayers you have been praying on our behalf. They are very much appreciated!

Lord please give me strength

2009-02-13T03:54:00.000-08:00

It's been a little while since I blogged last. I'm in a sort of depression, and I'm trying so hard to kick it. The last few weeks, I haven't been able to sleep as well as normal. I've been dreaming a lot of weird dreams lately, which is NOT normal for me. Usually, I don't dream, and if, on that rare occasion I do, I don't remember them anyways. The past week though, I have been dreaming some kind of weirdness almost every night.

I've been trying to get some scrapping done. I have been asked to make another baby album as a gift for a friend. I had no idea how hard it would be to scrap a baby's birth, and all the other milestones in a baby's first year. Being that my own loss was just 3 months ago. I'm really struggling with this one. I thought about duplicating some of the LO's I did for the first baby album I made, but the Mom's are cousins and I want each of them to have a book tailored more towards each one of them.

On the subject of babies, I was to the Doctor last Friday to discuss our fertility options. As soon as Aunt Flo makes her visit this month, I have to go back and have an ultrasound to make sure I don't have any ovarian cysts or anything, and I have to have blood work done to check some hormone levels. I will then start Clomid to make me ovulate. After that, hopefully I can come back here in a couple months and tell you I'm pregnant. I'm not holding my breath though. I don't know how much more dissapointment I can handle. I'm so thankful that I have Jesus to get me through. If not for Him, I don't know where I'd be now.

On a random note, I'm getting my hair permed today. I'm excited! I haven't had a perm since right before Chase turned a year old. He's 4 now! My hair is sooo long now (more than halfway down my back) so it should look really nice and not be too curly just because of how heavy my hair is. I'm just getting tired of the straightness of it and I decided it was time for a change.

Please continue to pray for my family and I. Ask God to give me strength to get this album done, and ask him also to give us strength through the ups and downs of the stressfull process of fertilty treatments.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Phillipians 4:13

Nearly 3 months later!

2009-02-05T13:40:00.000-08:00

As I was emailing a friend last night, I suddenly realized that the day after tomorrow will be 3 months since we got the devastating news that the baby we were so looking forward to, had no heartbeat. I thought I was doing pretty well with getting on with life and looking forward to the future, until that moment! When it dawned on me that yet another annniversary is approaching, I got a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach! My mood instantly fell. I've been kind of depressed lately anyways. I think part of it has to do with this winter seeming so long, but if I get real with myself instead of kidding myself, I realize that I am in no way "over" this.
I go back to the Doctor tomorrow. We are going to talk about the fertility issues and about the chances of conceiving again and carrying to full term. To be honest... as badly as I want to heal and as badly as I want another baby, I am TERRIFIED!!! I'm terrified that I won't get pregnant again. I'm terrified that I will get pregnant again, and I am beyond terrified that something will go wrong again.
I have had a couple friends who have given birth since I lost the baby and a few more who are pregnant now. It's hard to look at them and not miss the baby that I so recently lost. But at the same time, I remember back to when Chase was but a tiny baby, my how he's grown!
No one knows what the future holds, but I sure do hope that my future has me holding yet another baby of my own. I do know that I'm going to keep praying that God's plan for me is similar to the plan I have for myself, and your prayers would be greatly appreciated too!

2009-02-01T13:22:00.000-08:00

It's been a while since the last time I blogged, but there hasn't been much going on. I've been scrappin, as usual but it is taking me what seems like forever to get the projects done. Once I finally finish them, I am happy with them though. I don't absolutely LOVE anything I've done lately, but we all have those days!
No matter how much stuff I have, I always feel like I don't have the right things.. or the one thing that would make the project great! I guess that's probably a pretty common feeling though.
We are getting ready to leave to go to a friend's house to watch the Super Bowl, so I'll try to write again later or in the next few days.
Go Steelers!!!