Tales of a School Zoned Nurse

Translators

2013-05-16T15:55:00.000-07:00

I love translators. One of the reasons I love them is they can be messengers of my bad news, and I don't have to face the reaction. I'd been dealing with a kid with a hole in his tooth for some time, most recently requesting from his Mom that she bring me a note from his supposed dentist for his supposed treatment. To no surprise, I never received a note, so I decided to go one step further with

Birthdays

2013-05-14T16:11:00.000-07:00

To the parents of the birthday boy kindergartner who didn't get picked up for a full hour after school, who spent the entire hour fidgeting with his paper cone "Birthday Boy" hat, staring out the window hopeful that the next car to pull into the parking lot would be you: Why did you have children? I understand that people have to work or have other obligations, but to not make other

Hah!

2013-05-08T18:49:00.000-07:00

It's about as unnerving to leave my diabetics in the care of another nurse when I take time off as it is to leave my pets in the care of anyone else. After taking a long weekend, I asked Mr. High Maintenance diabetic how it went while I was gone. He's recently switched over to insulin pens, and I've also been encouraging to become more independent prior to his transition to middle school next

Happy School Nurse Day!

2013-05-08T07:21:00.000-07:00

It's School Nurse Day, and one of my schools noticed it - what a pleasant surprise! It's also Nurse's Week, so cheers to all the nurses out there. :)

Mama Bears

2013-05-02T19:31:00.000-07:00

Mr. High Maintenance Diabetic is a 5th grade boy who is so sheltered he doesn't know how to tie his own shoes. No one has taught him, and he's happy to stay as naive for as long as possible. I worry that he'll be eaten alive in middle school, but that's another story. His mother, who I think is actually his grandmother, is extremely protective. Case in point: she'll keep him home if he sneezes.

Warning

2013-04-30T16:40:00.000-07:00

I saw an advertisement on TV for the Novolog insulin pen. It included a warning at the end that the insulin "May cause low blood sugar." Duh. Hopefully anyone using an insulin pen is aware that that is in fact the purpose of it.

Substitutes

2013-04-26T16:27:00.000-07:00

As a general rule, I am not fond of substitutes. Teachers know their students, they know when someone is faking it, and when they're not. So it didn't take me long to figure out that there was a substitute with a classroom of children walking all over her as I received note after note all day long with students. . "[Name] doesn't feel well," in handwriting I could barely decipher. I continually

Ask Questions

2013-04-24T17:32:00.000-07:00

I walked into my office in Diabetic Land at lunch time to find a couple of students already in there resting. I let them be while I prepared for the tornado storm that arrives when both my diabetics, multiple kids demanding their Ritalin, and a variety of playground injuries all enter my office simultaneously. Once the tornado of students cleared, I noticed a little girl still on the cot, just as

Red flags

2013-04-23T15:44:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I was dealing with a frequent flyer in with his usual stomachache. At the end of recess, I sent him back to class, only to have him return a few minutes later. Before I could even ask why, he said, "I threw up in the bathroom and then I flushed it right away." With his too-quick explanation, he earned himself a trip right back to class. Tip for kids: if you want out of class, don't

Fitness testing

2013-04-18T17:05:00.000-07:00

It's the 5th grade girls' least favorite time of the year...physical testing. There's several components to this including running a timed mile, counting sit-ups, and height and weight. The scale is in my office, so I have the privilege of recording the student's weights. I do my best to keep it totally confidential and calm as possible, but there's just no way to have a bunch of 11-12

Floss

2013-04-15T17:13:00.000-07:00

Spitfire Diabetic, for weeks and months, had "Recess Academy." Students earn Recess Academy (RA) for not turning in homework, or assignments needing remediation. Instead of going to the classroom designated for RA after lunch, in place of recess, Spitfire began serving RA in my office after her insulin. My office isn't the somber mood of RA, and I know she was doing this to get out of a few

Meltdown

2013-04-11T15:53:00.000-07:00

I call Spitfire diabetic "Spitfire" for good reason. The girl's in fourth grade but has the mouth of a sassy teenager, and a quietly sarcastic sense of humor to go with it. We usually have a good time, though I've certainly had to admonish her for various things (e.g., lying to me), and I know our time is important to her. Her home life is in a continuous state of disarray: a mother who's on

Poor baby :(

2013-04-09T15:19:00.000-07:00

A little one came in first thing this morning complaining of a stomachache, which at that hour usually indicates one of two things: either the parent knowingly sent them to school sick or there is a quiz in class, or something of the sort, that they don't want to do. I asked his name and recognized it, because I had just met his father last week as I accepted medication for this little guy. He's

Names

2013-04-05T15:53:00.000-07:00

I had to talk to a teacher about the child whose name is a letter. When I looked him up in the computer system, I found it's worse than I'd thought: he's [Letter] [Letter] [Last Name] IV. That means there have been three earlier generations of these lettered men! I can only hope he changes it for his kids.

Soapy mouth

2013-04-04T19:49:00.000-07:00

I had a definite "oops" moment in my office today. I've been dealing with a mess related to a training I need to take, a mess that could have been avoided if a couple co-workers were...ahem...more team-oriented, and the frustration had been mounting until I voiced it to our lead nurse. "This is bullshit," I proclaimed while on the phone to her, right in front of a student waiting for his

Back in the saddle

2013-04-02T15:42:00.000-07:00

Whew! It's already April. After spring break, it's easy to see summer on the horizon now, the light at the end of the tunnel. During my break I was catching up on old mail, and I was surprised to see a headline on the cover of California Educator, the magazine for members of the California Teacher's Association, entitled, "A Day in the Life of a School Nurse." I've been receiving this magazine

Spring Break 2k13

2013-03-22T18:35:00.001-07:00

Spring Break already! How strange, I feel like it was just winter break...next thing I know it will be summer. As always though, I'm ready for it. Today's sad story is brought to you by a second grader with a hole in two of his teeth. Yes, a hole, carved all the way down to his gum, spanning two teeth; it appears to be a gigantic cavity. He's in extraordinary pain, and reporting that he's not

Therapy Session

2013-03-18T15:50:00.000-07:00

Spitfire Diabetic returned to school today after being gone four of the five days last week. Her mom had taken her to her grandma's in another state (because that makes more sense than waiting until spring break in two weeks). After lunch, as always, she came to my office for her insulin. We did our routine, but I knew something was up when she then asked to stay in my office during recess,

TGIF

2013-03-15T14:45:00.000-07:00

A gift from an asthmatic student. She comes to the office to take her inhaler every day, and the one minute I make her wait between puffs is too long for her to not do anything, so she's taken to drawing a quick picture. Happy Friday!

Baby Daddies

2013-03-14T14:38:00.000-07:00

A mother of a first grader has sole custody of her son, but her Baby Daddy and his new girlfriend have been hanging around the school at release time to wave at his son. Duped Mom asked our school to tell her what Baby Daddy's real name is (some of the staff do know him) because he used a fake name with her and as such, Duped Mom cannot currently file a restraining order on him to prevent him

Whose shoes do you want?

2013-03-12T16:14:00.000-07:00

I'll be the first to admit my job is pretty easy sometimes, but I maintain that most people wouldn't want my job at other times. Today, Spitfire diabetic was absent, allowing me to get back to my other elementary school ten minutes early after lunch. I walked in to hear the secretary call my name and ask me to step in the main office for a few minutes. I found a student I didn't recognize in a

Ouuuuuch!

2013-03-06T21:47:00.000-08:00

I walked into Diabetic Land to find a girl already in my office, holding her head and moaning. I asked what was wrong, she said, "My brain...It's in a bad mood today!" Translation: headache. These kids and the things that come out of their mouths are the highlight of my day, every day. I feel like I've hardly worked since Christmas break, and that'll continue through Spring Break. There have

A blast from my past

2013-02-26T18:07:00.000-08:00

I was working on Saturday at a kindergarten preparation fair, performing hearing and vision screenings on some adorable four year olds, when I noticed some familiar faces in line. There were two older girls along with their younger sister, and a parent I recognized: it was the weed-eating family from long ago. Leave it to a child to say excitedly without realizing the awkwardness that might

Changing Times

2013-02-20T15:31:00.000-08:00

A student wanted to call home, and the office was a zoo, so I told her to just go ahead and use my phone. She tried a few times before complaining to me that it wasn't working. I tried myself, and heard a busy signal. Thanks to today's age of cell phones and call waiting, the poor girl had never heard a busy signal on a phone line.