Tales of My Mere Existence

i love this song

2013-05-15T02:37:00.000-07:00

MOMENTS by 1D

[Liam] Shut the door
Turn the light off
I wanna be with you
I wanna feel your love
I wanna lay beside you
I cannot hide this
Even though I try
Heart beats harder
Time escapes me
Trembling hands touch skin
It makes this harder
And the tears stream down my face

[Harry] If we could only have this life for one more day
If we could only turn back time

[All] You know I'll be your life
Your voice
Your reason to be
My love, my heart
Is breathing for this
Moment in time
I'll find the words to say
Before you leave me today

[Niall] Close the door
Throw the key
Don't wanna be reminded
Don't wanna be seen
Don't wanna be without you
My judgement's clouded
Like tonights night sky

[Louis] Hands are silent
Voice is numb
Trying to scream out my lungs
It makes this harder
And the tears stream down my face

[Harry] If we could only have this life for one more day
If we could only turn back time

[All] You know I'll be your life
Your voice
Your reason to be
My love, my heart
Is breathing for this
Moment in time
I'll find the words to say
Before you leave me today

[Zayn] Flashing lights in my mind
Goin' back to the time
Playin' games in the street
Kickin' balls with my feet
Dancin on with my toes
Standing close to the edge
There's a pile of my clothes
At the end of your bed
As I feel myself fall,
Make a joke of it all

[All] You know I'll be
Your life, your voice your reason to be
My love, my heart
Is breathing for this
Moment in time
I'll find the words to say
Before you leave me today

You know I'll be
Your life, your voice your reason to be
My love, my heart
Is breathing for this
Moment in time
I'll find the words to say
Before you leave me today

***I really love this song like I really really love this song. The lyrics, the melody, 1Ds voices (especially Louis') touches my heart in a million different ways.

The Invisible Wound by Karoly Kisfaludi

2013-05-08T23:47:00.000-07:00

Early one morning before the famous surgeon was even out of his bed he received an urgent caller who insisted that his case could not be postponed even for a minute; he demanded instant attention. The surgeon dressed hurriedly and rang for this valet.

“Let the patient come in,” he said.

The man who entered appeared to belong to the best class of society. His pale face and nervous demeanor betrayed physical suffering. His right hand was tied up in a sling and, although he could control his features, a painful groan escaped from his lips now and again.

“I haven’t been able to sleep for a week. There is some trouble with my right hand. I cannot make out what it is. It may be cancer or some other terrible disease. At first it did not bother me much, but lately it began to burn. I have not had a moment’s relief. It pains me terribly. The pain increases hourly. becoming more and more agonizing and unbearable. I have come to town to consult you. If I have to bear it another hour, I shall go mad. I want you to burn it out or cut it out. or do something with it.”

The surgeon reassured the patient by declaring that it was not perhaps necessary to operate.

“No, no”, the man insisted. “It will have to be operated on. I came purposely to have the disease part cut out. Nothing else can help.”

He lifted his hand from the sling with considerable effort, and continued:

“I must ask you not be surprised if you do not see any visible wound on my hand. The case is quite unusual.

The doctor assured the patient that he was not in a habit of being surprised at unusual things. Still after looking at it, he dropped the hand in sheer astonishment, for they seemed to be absolutely nothing that matter with it. It looked like any other hand; it was not even discolored. Yet it was evident that the man suffered terrible pains, for the way he caught his right hand with his left when the doctor let it fall, demonstrated that fact quite conclusively.

“Where does it hurt you?”

He pointed to a round spot between the two large veins, but matched the hand back when the physician cautiously touched the spot with the tip of his finger.

“Is that where it hurts?”

“Yes, Terribly.”

“Do you feel the pressure when I place the finger on it?”

The man could not answer but the tears that came into his eyes told the story.

“It’s extraordinary. I can see nothing.”

“Neither do I, but the pain is still there and I would rather die than go on this way.”

The surgeon examined it all over again, with a microscope, took the man’s temperature, and finally shook his hand.

“The skin is perfectly healthy. The arteries are normal: not the slightest inflammation or swelling. It is as normal as any hand can be.”

“I think it is a bit redder on the spot.”

“Where?”

The stranger made a circle on the back of his hand about a size of a farthing. “Here.”

The doctor looked at the man. He began to think that he had to deal with a lunatic.

“You will have to stay in town and I shall try to help you within the next few days.” he said.

“I cannot wait a minute. Do not think, doctor, that I am insane, or under any delusion. This invisible wound hurts me terribly and I want you to cut out just that round part as far as the bone.”

“I am not going to do it, sir.”

“Why not?”

“Because there is nothing that matter with your hand. It is as healthy as my own.”

“You seem to think that I am a madman, or that I am deceiving you,” said the patient as he drew out his wallet a thousand-florin bank-note and placed it on the table. “You see I am in earnest. The matter is important enough for me to pay a thousand for it. Please perform the operation.”

“If you offered me all the money in the world I would not touch a healthy limb with the operating knife.”

“Because it would not be according to professional ethics. All the world would call you an idiot and would accuse me of taking advantage of your weakness, or declare that I could not diagnose a wound that did not exist.”

“Very well, sir. Then I shall ask you another favor. I shall undertake the operation myself, though my left hand is rather clumsy at such things. All I would ask of you, is to take care of the wound after I operate it.”

The surgeon saw with astonishment that the man was quite serious, and watched him take off his coat and turn up his shirt sleeve. The man even took out his pocket knife, for want of any other instrument. Before the doctor could intervene, the stranger had made a deep incision in his hand.

“Stop”, he shouted, afraid lest the sufferer should sever a vain. “Since you believe it must be done, very well, I’ll do it.”

He then prepared for the operation. When it came to the actual cutting the doctor advised his patient to turn his head away, for people are generally upset at the sight of their own blood.

“Quite unnecessary,” said the other. I must direct your hand so that you may know how far to cut.”

The stranger took the operation stoically and was helpful with his directions. His hand never even trembled and when the round spot had been carved out he sighed a sign of happy relief, as if a load had been taken of his shoulders.

“You don’t feel any pain now?” asked the surgeon.

“Not the least,” he said with a smile. “It is as if the pain had been cut off and the slight irritation caused by the cutting seems like a cool breeze after a hot spell. Just let the blood run. It soothes me.”

After the wound was bandaged, the stranger looked happy and contented. He was a changed man. He gratefully pressed the doctor’s hand with his own left hand.

“I am very grateful to you, indeed.”

The surgeon visited his patient at his hotel for several days after the operation and learned to respect the man, who occupied a high position in the country. He was learned and cultured, and was a member of one of the best families in the land.

After the wound was completely healed the stranger returned to his country home.

Three weeks later the patient again appeared at the surgeon’s office. His hand was again in a sling and he complained of the same tormenting pain in the very spot where it hurt him before the operation.

His face looked like wax, and cold perspiration glistened on his brow. He sank into an armchair, and without saying a word held out his right hand for the doctor to look at it.

“Good Lord, what has happened?”

“You didn’t cut it deep enough,” he groaned. “The pain returned; it is even worse than before. I am almost done for. I didn’t want to trouble you again, so I just bore it, but I cant bear it any longer. You must operate it again.”

The surgeon examined the spot. The place where he had operated was quite healed, and covered with fresh skin. Not one of the veins seemed disturbed, the pulse was normal. There was no fever yet the man was trembling in every limb.

“I never experienced or heard anything like this before.”

There was nothing to be done but repeat the operation. Everything passed off as it had the first time. The pain stopped and though the patient experienced a great relief, this time failed to smile and when he thanked the doctor it was with sad and depressed expression.

“You needn’t be surprised if I am back again in a month,” he said as he took leave.

“You mustn’t think of it.”

“It is as sure there is God in heaven,” he said with an air of finality, “Au revoir.”

The surgeon discussed the case with several of his colleagues, each of whom expressed a different opinion. Not one could ever offer a satisfactory explanation.

A month passed and the man did not appear. Another few weeks, and then instead of the patient, came a letter from his place of residence. The surgeon opened it with pleasure, thinking that the pain had not returned. The letter ran as follows:

“Dear doctor: I do not want to leave you in any doubt as to the origin of my trouble, and do not care to carry the secret of it into my grave, or perhaps elsewhere. I wish to acquaint you with the history of my terrible illness. It has returned three times now and do not intend to go on struggling against it any longer. I am only able to write this letter by placing a burning coal on the spot as an antidote against the hellish flames that burn it within.

“Six months ago I was a very happy man. I was rich and contended; I found pleasure in everything that appeals to a man of thirty-five, I buried a year ago. It was a love match. A very beautiful, kindly and cultured young lady was my wife. She had been a companion to Countries not far from my estate. She loved me and her heart was full of gratitude. For six months the time passed happily, each day bringing greater happiness than the last. She would walk miles along the highway to meet me when I had to go to the town and would not stay away even at the home of her former mistress, where she often visited, for more than a few hours. Her longing for me made the others of her party uncomfortable. She would never dance with another man, and would confess it as a great crime if the happened to dream of someone else in her sleep. She was a lovely innocent child.

“I cant say what that brought me to the belief that this was but a pretense. Man is foolish enough to seek misery in the midst of his greatest happiness.

“She had small sewing table, the drawer of which she always kept lacked. This began to torture me. I often noticed that she never left the key in the drawer and she never left it unlocked. What could she have to conceal so carefully? I became mad with jealousy. I did not believe her innocent eyes, her kisses and loving embraces. Perhaps all these were but a cunning deceit?”

“One day the Countess came to fetch her and manage to persuade her to spent the day at the castle. I promised that I should follow later in the afternoon.

“The carriage had scarcely pulled out of the yard when I began trying to open the drawer of the sewing table. One of the many keys I tried at last opened it. Rummaging among the many feminine effects under a folder of silk. I discovered a bundle of letters. One could recognize them at the first glance. They were of course love letters, tied together with a pink ribbon.

“I did not stop to consider that it was not honorable to commit such an indiscretion: looking for secrets of my wife’s girlhood days! Something urged me to go on: perhaps they belonged to a later period--- since she had borne my name? I untied the ribbon and read the letters one after the other.

“It was the most terrible hour of my life.”

“They revealed the most unpardonable treachery ever committed against a man. They were written by one of my most intimate friends. And their tone… They revealed the tenderest intimacy and deepest passion. How he urged her to secrecy. What he said about stupid husbands. How he advised her what to do to keep her husband in ignorance! Every one of them had been written after our marriage. And I thought I was happy. I don’t want to describe my feelings. I drank my poison to the last drop. Then I folded the letters and returned them to their hiding-place, locking the drawer again.

“I knew that if I did not go to the castle she would return in the evening. That was precisely what happened. She sprang gaily out of the carriage and rushed to meet me on the porch, kissing and embracing me with the utmost tenderness. I pretended that nothing was amiss.

“We chatted, had supper together and went to bed as usual, each in our own room. I had at that time decided upon a course action which I would carry out with the stubbornness of a maniac. What a miserable deception on the part of nature to endow sin with such an open face, I said to myself as I entered her room at midnight and looked at her beautiful innocent face as she slept. The poison had taken effect in my soul and had eaten itself through every vein of my body. I placed my right hand silently on her neck and pressed it with all my might. For a moment she opened her eyes and looked at me astounded, then closed them again and died. She did not make a move in self-defense, but died as quietly as though she were in a dream. She bore no grudge against me even for killing her. One drop of blood oozed through her lips and dropped on my hand—you know the spot. I only noticed it in the morning after it was already dried. We buried her without much ado. I lived out of the country on a private estate and there was no controlling authority to investigate. Besides, no one would have thought anything about the matter , for the woman was my wife. She had no relations and had no friends, and there were no questions to answer. I purposely sent out notifications of her death after the funeral, in order to escape the importunities of other people.

“I felt no pangs of conscience. I had been cruel, but she had deserved it. I did not hate her. I could easily forget her. No murderer committed his deed with more indifference than I did.

“When I arrived at the house, the Countess had just driven up. She was too late for the funeral, as I intended she should be. She was under a tremendous strain. The terror and the unexpectedness of the news almost dazed her. She spoke in a queer manner and I could not make out her meaning as she tried to console me. I didn’t listen to her with any interest, it is true, for I was in no need of consolation. Then she took hold of my hand in an intimate manner and said she would like to entrust a secret to me, adding that she would not take advantage of it.

“Then she said that she had entrusted a bundle of letters to my late wife; she could not possibly keep them at her own house owing to their peculiar character, and asked whether I would be good enough to return them to her. I felt a chill down my spine as I listened to her. With assumed calm I asked her what those contained? She trembled at the question and said:

“Your wife is the most faithful and loyal woman I ever met. She did not ask what they contained; she even gave me her word never to look into them.”

“Where did she keep the letters?”

“She said she kept them under lock and key in the drawer of her sewing table. They are tied with a pink ribbon. You would easily recognized them. Thirty letters in all.

“I took her to the room where the sewing table stood and opened the drawer. I took out the bundle and handed it to her.

“Are these the letters?”

“She reached out for them eagerly. I dared not raise my eyes for fear she might read something in them. She left soon afterward.

“Exactly one week after the burial a stinging pain visited the spot on my hand where the drop of blood feel on that terrible night. The rest you know. I know it is nothing but auto-suggestion, but I cannot rid myself out of it. I am going to join her and will try to obtain her pardon. She will surely forgive me. She will loved me just as she loved me when she lived. I thank you, Doctor, for all you have done for me.”

***This is one of the most poignant stories I've ever read which I will never forget. I thank Ma'am Gabatan for introducing this story to us...

new favorite song!

2013-04-24T03:24:00.000-07:00

JUST GIVE ME A REASON by Pink feat. Nate Ruess

Right from the start
You were a thief
You stole my heart
And I your willing victim
I let you see the parts of me
That weren't all that pretty
And with every touch you fixed them

Now you've been talking in your sleep, oh, oh
Things you never say to me, oh, oh
Tell me that you've had enough
Of our love, our love

Just give me a reason
Just a little bit's enough
Just a second we're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again
It's in the stars
It's been written in the scars on our hearts
We're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again

I'm sorry I don't understand
Where all of this is coming from
I thought that we were fine
(Oh, we had everything)
Your head is running wild again
My dear we still have everythin'
And it's all in your mind
(Yeah but this is happenin')

You've been havin' real bad dreams, oh, oh
You used to lie so close to me, oh, oh
There's nothing more than empty sheets
Between our love, our love
Oh, our love, our love

Just give me a reason
Just a little bit's enough
Just a second we're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again
I never stopped
You're still written in the scars on my heart
You're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again

Oh, tear ducts and rust
I'll fix it for us
We're collecting dust
But our love's enough
You're holding it in
You're pouring a drink
No nothing is as bad as it seems
We'll come clean

Just give me a reason
Just a little bit's enough
Just a second we're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again
It's in the stars
It's been written in the scars on our hearts
That we're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again

Oh, we can learn to love again
Oh, we can learn to love again
Oh, oh, that we're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again

Pink & Nate Ruess LIVE:

FAVE Cover by Tiffany and Trevor:

FAVE Cover#2 by Jung Sung Ahn and Sarah Park:

at peace...

2013-04-21T02:34:00.001-07:00

I went to Carmelite Monastery this morning to attend the Sunday mass. It was my first time to there and I am very glad that I did.

When I arrived, the mass has already started. I felt that terrible feeling of being watched as I made my way to find a seat just outside the church. Well, that is so normal for me. The uneasiness of being in an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar people slowly went away as I heard the Carmelite sisters singing. We actually can't see them, we can just hear them singing. And I filled with an emotion so familiar and yet so strange... I felt like I am hearing the angels singing and I then realized I felt that certain serenity I have sought for so long. The songs were most Latin and it reminded me of the 'Vespers' (the sunset evening prayer service) Glogie and I used to attend to when I was yet in Norway. The words were strange and yet it bores deep down in your soul. It's holy. I felt not worthy being there and I suddenly burst into tears feeling so grateful for the most wonderful feeling I am feeling which I know I do not deserve. And when I made my way inside the church when the mass ended, I know that I am entering a holy ground.

I lit 7 candles as I usually do and prayed. But what is more than the usual is that beautiful feeling of solitude where I can feel me, see me standing before God. I then went to an empty pew. I knelt and prayed. I have felt God's love then. I kept saying sorry. Suddenly I had a total recall of my life and I was crying for all the used-to-bes and could-have-beens... I saw myself having failed a lot of times and yet I am in a holy place feeling God's love poured out on me, my heart could burst.
The mass started. Sing a New Song Unto the Lord was sang and I remembered how I used to sing it at St. Olav's church. My happiness overflows especially that i felt I am singing with God's angels.
I kept thanking God for all the religious people that they exist especially the Carmelite sisters, that they keep fighting the good fight of faith, that they stood up against the world, that they never weary of waiting, doing good at all times, praying and inspiring people, praying to save lives and souls... And I was reminded of how I yearned to be one of them. And yet I knew that I was meant for another path, something I wish I knew I could find real soon.
I am all overwhelmed by the unexpected happenings and then I was struck with the last line of the second reading from the book of Revelations:

"For the Lamb in the midst of the throne will be their shepherd, and he will guide them to springs of living water; and God will wipe away every tear from their eyes."

Soon enough, my eyes welled up and I couldn't stop myself from crying. It was as if all the questions I have in mind were answered. I felt that God led me there so I could listen and understand. I never felt so sorry for the longest time. I then remembered every wrong decision I've made, every sins I've committed. I felt so unworthy and I knew that what kept me standing on that holy ground is God's mercy. I now knew why God kept handing me Divine Mercy booklet, why Ate Geegile kept talking about it, why Mama texts us always so we can pray together- It is because I am gonna need it for today.

During the homily, I was reminded how the Good Shepherd nursed me when I was young, nurtured my feeble faith, strengthened me in every adversity, guided me to the right path, caught me when I fell, cheered me when I was sad, healed me when I was broken, rejoiced when I succeed, hugged me when I was lonely, forgiven me when I sinned, encouraged me when I was afraid, never gave up on me and loved me... loves me still, will love me for always, with an everlasting love.

Jesus kept His promise to save me. The world has wounded me deep. There was even a time I felt I have lost my own soul. I pray but I do not feel my prayers. I thought I was going through what most saints call 'the dark night of the soul' but I knew mine was different. I love God but I could not bring myself to worship Him. My faith was fading... I have become weary of waiting that I have busied myself to the point of forgetting what truly mattered in life.

Today, something in me is rekindled. I know that I am a changed person. But I also knew that I can always change for the best. I can always make the right choices. I can always choose to do good and I can always let God lead the way.

For so long I have cried to the Lord for the same prayers I used to utter not realizing that He had already provided me with a solution, only it is different from what I thought it would be. I have been blessed..We were so blessed. There were so many miracles we have received from Him. How could I ever forget that? My mother has been saved from cancer and we knew that it was a miracle. We are living with His gifts, how can I doubt?

So I am feeling so happy right now. There is nothing I can't handle. I know that there is no impossible with God. So I have a new found hope that will help me get through the life of the living. I wish to live well... and I pray that I will always, always remember that Jesus cares for me and loves me unconditionally for all I have been, for all I have become, for all that I am.

I now know a perfect place where I can find peace.., May we all keep peace within our hearts. Have a blessed and peaceful Sunday!

THANK YOU DEAR LORD FOR THE ROAD YOU LED ME TO WALK TODAY... MAY YOU BE MY GUIDE FOR ALWAYS. I LOVE YOU FOREVER LORD JESUSCHRIST... :)

Below are some photos of the Carmelite Monastery:

happy!

2013-04-09T02:27:00.002-07:00

I am grateful. I am happy. I am starting to fulfill my purpose and I haven't felt this good like every breath matters... like everything seems perfect.
Thank You Lord for the answered prayer... :)
And yes, I am living the dream now. And I wish to live in this dream forever.

God bless us all.

moving on

2013-03-10T20:42:00.002-07:00

Have you noticed that the things we never or refused to talk about are the ones that causes us pain? Or might not just be pain. It can be anger, fear or sadness. Those that are too much to contain. Well, it differs with each person. But I for one, can't bear talking about it without crying. So I write it down... and here I am writing it down hoping it will at least, ease my heart and my mind and my soul and whatever it is that is affected by what we so call 'reshuffle.'

It was just days ago when they announced for another reshuffle. And to be honest, I'm not fond of that thing. I know it must happen but I am not a fan of it and I don't know if there will be a time I will come to like that word at all. Maybe because I have always liked to be where I can be comfortable with, secured..and changes can be devastating... even destructive. That was how I felt with the first reshuffle. When I heard that I won't be together with what they call team but what I call friends and family, I didn't feel like going to work at all. I am not good with meeting new people. I am just too shy I feel I will die if I utter a word. I felt like I was breaking apart. The atmosphere I had with our team was just too good. Even when there were a lot of challenges we had to go through, we always rely on each other and we just made it through because we are happy with who we work with. Honestly, it was hard. It was difficult. I thought of giving up not just a lot of times but all the time. But I gave it another shot. And as time went by, I get to know the new people I am with and I began to see myself smiling and laughing again. That means, that I am comfortable with the people around me. And I gained new friends, new family. And just when we were getting closer, here comes reshuffle again. It is not as devastating as how I felt at the first time but it is nonetheless, difficult. I have new set of people to miss. And I have to go through another adjustment period. It is quite different when there's a familiar face you can glance during work. It's a source of a positive energy. But then again, it is something we have no control of. It's part of what they call strategy.

I tried to be positive that after this reshuffle, I'm gonna gain new friends. But I know that alone doesn't work for me. I know that I have a peculiar way of coping up because again, I am emotional.

I don't know how reverse psychology works. But one thing I noticed is, stating a possibility works well after stating a fact. Life is full of surprises and it keeps changing no matter how we want to keep things together. So with all these changes, I keep a positive attitude that I am gonna meet another batch of wonderful people - that's the possibility. The fact that goes with it is I'm gonna miss the people I'm used to be with and this change really breaks my heart.

There...I'm gonna miss Moonstone.

I think I'm gonna be okay soon. Everything will be... after all, no pain comes to us without a purpose. And God...always...always.. works at the background.

Coca-cola Christmas Carol

2012-11-04T15:09:00.002-08:00

I have watched this video for ten times already and it always leaves a nice warm feeling that makes me want to press Replay.

Please watch. I hope it would inspire you as it did inspire me. Maligayang Pasko sa lahat ng pamilya sa buong mundo! God bless us all!

Ako ang magdadala saan man mapunta
Dadalhin ang ligaya
Ako ang magbubukas, hindi maghihintay
Bubuksan ang ligaya

Kung saan may masaya doon lagi ako magpupunta
Hinding-hindi makikinig pag sinasabing hindi kaya
Ipapakita ko, lahat kaya

Ako ang gumagawa lahat ng makita
Gagawing maligaya
Ako ang magbibigay, halina't sumama na
Magbigay ng ligaya

Dadalhin ko
Bubuksan ko
Ang saya ng mundo
Gagawin ko
Ibibigay ko
Tuluy-tuloy na tayo

Dadalhin ko
Bubuksan ko
Ang saya ng mundo
Gagawin ko
Ibibigay ko
Tuluy-tuloy na tayo...

for San Pedro Calungsod

2012-10-21T18:14:00.001-07:00

"Life that is offered,

Faith that is proclaimed."

San Pedro Calungsod

1654- 2 April 1672

San Pedro Calungsod,
student, catechist, young migrant,
missionary, faithful friend, martyr,
you inspire us
by your fidelity in times of adversity;
by your courage in teaching the faith
in the midst of hostility;
and by your love in shedding your blood
for the sake of the Gospel.

Make our troubles your own
(here mention your request)
and intercede for us
before the throne of Mercy and Grace
so that,
as we experience the help of heaven,
we may be encouraged to live
and proclaim the Gospel here on earth.
Amen.
(With ecclesiastical approval)

Pedro Calungsod may only have been in his early teens (between 12 and 15 years old) when he went with Padre Diego to Guam in 1668. He was one of the young catechists who went with some Spanish Jesuit missionaries to the Ladrones Islands to evangelize the Chamorros. At that time, the Ladrones Islands were part of the Diocese of Cebu.

Life in the Ladrones was hard. Despite the hardships, the missionaries persevered, and the Mission was blessed with many conversions. The first mission residence and church were built in the town of Hagatña [Agadña; Agaña; Agana] in the island of Guam. Subsequently, the islands were renamed "Marianas" by the missionaries in honor of the Blessed Virgin Mary and of the then queen regent of Spain, Maria Ana, who was the benefactress of that Mission.

A man named Choco became envious of the prestige that the missionaries were gaining among the Chamorros. He started to spread rumors that the baptismal water of the missionaries was poisonous. Because some sickly Chamorro infants who had been baptized died, many believed Choco and eventually apostatized. Choco found an ally in the local medicine man, Macanjas, and the Urritaos, young native men who were given to some immoral practices. These, along with the apostates, began to persecute the missionaries, many of whom were killed.

Martyrdom came to Padre Diego and Pedro Calungsod on April 2, 1672 which was the Saturday before Passion Sunday of that year.

At around seven o'clock that morning, Padre Diego and Pedro Calungsod went to the village of Tomhon in Guam because they were told that a baby girl was just born in the village. They went to ask Matapang, the child's father, to bring the baby out for baptism. Matapang had been a Christian and a friend of the missionaries but had apostatized. He angrily refused to have his baby christened.

To give Matapang some time to cool down, Padre Diego and Pedro gathered the children and some adults of the village at the nearby shore and started chanting with them the truths of the Catholic Faith. They invited Matapang to join them, but the apostate shouted back that he was angry with God and was already fed up with the Christian teachings.

Determined to kill the missionaries, Matapang went out to ask for the help of another villager, named Hirao, who was not a Christian. At first, Hirao refused. He knew of the kindness of the missionaries towards the natives. But Matapang chided him for being a coward. Hirao changed his mind and decided to join Matapang.

While Matapang was away, Padre Diego and Pedro obtained to permission of Matapang's Christian mother and baptized the baby girl.

Matapang was enraged when he found out. He attacked the missionaries with spears. He first went after Pedro who presumably tried to defend the priest. Pedro was able to dodge the spears with remarkable dexterity. Witnesses said that Pedro had all the chances to escape because he was very agile, but he did not want to leave Padre Diego alone.

Those who personally knew Pedro believed that he would have defeated his aggressors and would have freed both himself and Padre Diego if only he had some weapon. But Padre Diego never allowed his companions to carry arms.

Finally, Pedro got hit by a spear in the chest and fell to the ground, Hirao immediately charged towards him and finished him off with a blow of a cutlass to the head. Padre Diego could not do anything except to raise a crucifix and give Pedro the final sacramental absolution. After that, the assassins killed Padre Diego.

Matapang took the crucifix of Padre Diego and crushed it with a stone while blaspheming God. Then, both assassins ripped the clothes off Pedro and Padre Diego. They dragged them to the shore, tied large stones to their feet. They brought their bodies out to sea on a proa and threw them into the deep. The remains of the martyrs were never to be found.

The faith that was planted in the Marianas in 1668 did not die with Padre Diego, Pedro Calungsod and the first missionaries. It grew, thanks to the blood of the martyrs and the perseverance of the succeeding missionaries.

Source:

Pedro Calungsod Bisaya, Prospects of a Teenage Filipino by Msgr. Ildebrando Jesus Alino Leyson

The Canonization

I'm maybe one of the million Filipinos who watched yesterday the canonization of Pedro Calungsod, a young seminarian and martyr who was killed on the island of Guam when he visited with a Jesuit priest to baptize a young girl together with six other saints:

Kateri Tekakwitha, North America's first aboriginal Catholic saint who was ostracized and persecuted by other natives for her faith, and she died in 1680 while serving the Catholic church at the age of 24.;

Jacques Berthieu, a French Jesuit who was executed as he had refused to renounce his faith;

Mother Marianne Cope, a German-born Franciscan nun who is known as “Mother Marianne of Molokai” because she looked after lepers on the island of Molokai in the Hawaii archipelago;

Maria Schaeffer, a German laywoman who spent the rest of her life bedridden but was able to spread the word of God in local villages;

Giovanni Battista Piamarta, an Italian priest who in the late 19th century devoted his life to helping young people during the industrial revolution and founded a religious congregation;

and Maria del Carmen, a Spanish nun who founded a congregation and worked to better the lot of poor women in the 19th century, defending their social rights and helping their children’s education.

On a personal note, I am fond of reading the lives of saints. Their lives always remind me of a path I so long to walk but had always failed to. Watching the canonization yesterday had left my heart with a gratitude for the lives they have lived, the miracles God has given through their intercession and most of all for the lives they have touched. I just recently know Pedro Calungsod though I hear his name a lot during my childhood. And as I went over the story of his martyrdom, I felt inspired and so wished that like him, though life can be that brief be spent at every breath proclaiming, defending and loving my faith for my God.

The question that I have been asking myself these days is 'Am I able to face a spear for my faith?'

And the answer is I really don't know... there were times that I greatly felt I could die for God... though there were times I was in doubt I could not even stand for my faith, how much more, face a spear?

I know that there will come a time that my faith will be put into test. And once more, feeling so inspired, I prayed that if such time will come, I'll wrap my fate with my faith... and perhaps, see God waiting for me with His embrace.

Please watch this inspiring video as well:

sources: google.com

www.angelfire.com

yahoo news

youtube.com

a letter to God

2012-10-08T01:48:00.000-07:00

Dearest Lord,

I thank Thee for today… for the numerous blessings, countless miracles, steadfast love, overflowing mercy, unfathomable kindness and unending grace...

I thank Thee for Your love is never changing… that even though I sinned so many times, You always call my name. I will be forever grateful for Your love for me… for us… For You always take care of things too great for us to bear. Today, I would like to give thanks for all You’ve done for us... and I would like to ask for Your forgiveness for focusing on our own sufferings not knowing that You suffered with us. We oftentimes forget that when we suffer, You suffer too, for You love us. I have realized that when we love a person, we can be greatly affected by their pains, we cry when they cry, we weep when they have lost, we are pained in their anguish… so I know now how each trial affects You. You maybe after our growth, for the lessons we can learn, for the strength that we can gain… that may be is the reason why sometimes You choose us to fall… even Jesus had suffered... even Mama Mary… even the saints. Who are we to complain?

I think I have a better understanding of Your will now… Though sometimes I can be so immature and worldly, I know that all You do is for the best of us. And even if you have the power to shield us from pain, You don’t do that all the time because great things are learned from the greatest sufferings… Maybe, that is also for us to be truly grateful for the times You did save us from the pain.

Lord… have I thanked You enough? I guess not… I know that all moment of my life should be spent giving thanks for all the prayers You have answered. The most impossible ones were heard, and I thank You. Looking back, well, honestly, I never want to look back at those times we were so lost, so pained, so desperate, almost close to being hopeless but I know I’ve got to, to know how greatly I thank Thee. The tears we’ve shed, the things we’ve wept for, those that we prayed day and night have finally reached heaven. Thank You Lord… Thank You for Mama Mary… Thank You for the saints… Thank You for the angels, both unseen and those that You’ve sent on earth to help us.

Your power is beautiful Lord. I guess I had no better adjective with what I think of You… All I know is I love You so much that I want to cry right now. I am really sorry if I have failed You. Do I still have time, Lord? Will I still be able to keep up? I know that there are lessons I need to learn but I refuse to. Your plans for me have been altered because of my misjudgment and impulsiveness… and maybe, I have not prayed enough too… and I am thinking out so loud that I don’t hear You… Sorry Lord if I have not trusted You… I have let fear led the way for me… I had let desperation take me. I had let my heart to be imprisoned in crossroads that I didn’t know which way to go. I have covered myself with sins. I have tarnished the purity of my own soul…

But despite all these things, I remain hopeful. I guess what keeps me standing in the ground is my love for You which never ends because of Your love for me. I have realized that no matter how many times I sinned, I keep coming back to You because I love You. You are the only One that matters most. I wish and I pray that I could keep You all the time. I want to come back to You again and sin no more. I want to be pure again… I want to live life with a pure heart, pure thought and pure soul.

Will You help me stand up again? I have fallen… weakened… broken. Restore me Lord. And let me live in accordance to Your will.

Am I ready to take Your cross? I honestly don’t know… but one thing for sure, basta naa Ka Lord, ma-okay man ang tanan.

Please be with us always… Bless our live Lord that we may be blessings to others. Help us make the right decision. Teach us Your ways that we may be saved… that we may walk in this earth with the yearning of seeing You in heaven. We love You Lord… Please make us worthy… If you have to break us, break us and then remake us…

May Your Holy Name be praised forever… All these things I give thanks and I ask in Jesus’ name together with the Holy Spirit forever and ever. Amen.

Always,

Ayeth

for the sake of happily ever after

2012-07-13T03:58:00.000-07:00

As the whipping top continues to spin, he couldn't get his mind off his old love. It's a wonder how time could have done so much. He almost didn't recognize his old love. It should be easy to say that he had wasted his life fancying over a young ball who now had lost all its beauty. But whenever he thinks of it, he feels so sorry for what they both went through. He tried not to think of her but the more he tries not, the more she fills his mind. And just like before, he's dreading to see her again.
Days passed until one day he went too far away spinning that he ended up in the bin again.

"Hi! It's you again!" exclaimed the ball as he bumped into her.

Looking at her faded color, the top remembered how his love used to be. Looking at her now, he realized how much he missed her. She probably had been alone for so long. Her beauty faded and all but his heart flutters still as it used to flutter as before.

"It's cold and dark in here," said the ball. "Did you know that my father and mother were morocco slippers, and that I have a Spanish cork in my body?” The she fell silent for a while. "Yeah, you might not notice that now. But I was once... never mind. I wish I look as good as you are."

"You think I am good looking?"

"Yes, you are. Among the things inside this bin, it is so clear that you do not belong here."

"And that makes me good looking?"

"Well," the ball looked at him thoughtfully. "You're not as good looking as the one knew from the past. He has the color of fire whenever he spins. I really do not see him as he is way back then. But he was really the most beautiful thing in the world. But," she sighed. "I rejected him for a swallow who never came to marry me."

"A top proposed to you?" asked the top, feeling so sad as he remembered the day when they started to speak no more.

"Yes," answered the ball. "I was once beautiful," she chuckled. "We could have been good together. Too bad, I haven't seen it til now."

"If he marries you now, will you say yes?"

"He probably won't like me when he sees me. He might even have forgotten me."

"But will you?"

The ball smiled sadly and thoughtfully looked at him. "No," answered the ball in almost a whisper.

The top was taken a back by the ball's answer. "But why?" The scars of the past suddenly became fresh wounds and he felt he is starting to bleed.

"Marry him and then what? Let him be trapped in this cold dark place? No. After all, he deserves to be happy. He maybe was hurt when I rejected his love. I was always full of myself I didn't even think of his feelings."

Feeling relieved, the top wanted to spin with what he heard. And for the first time, he doesn't feel sorry that the ball was trapped in here for a long time. Because years of contemplating made her realize she loves him. And he wanted to kiss her for that.

"Then if you can't marry him, will you marry me?"

"Marry?" the ball wore a shocked expression. "What? You?"

The top went nearer the ball. "Have I really changed that much for you not to recognize me?"

The ball stared at him in amazement. "Is that really you? Y-You look so--"

"Yeah, good looking. Now, will you marry me?"

She felt silent.

"We'll look good together in the years to come." The top said, thinking he would fade soon drenched in the water. Just like the ball. And that is what he wanted to be. Because he wanted to be with her. "I love you still. And if it means staying here in this cold dark place, I do not mind, as long as I am with you."

The ball cried as she place her head in his head. "You really love me, don't you."

The top kissed the ball. "Yes, because you have the Spanish cork inside you. And that makes you unique. And that makes me love you so. So, what, will you marry me?"

The ball smiled and kissed him. "Yes. While you are here, I want to be your wife."

"I'd be here forever."

The ball smiled sadly. "Soon enough, they're going to search for you when they find you missing and they will look in here."

"I'll hide. I don't want to be away from you anymore."

But just as he said that, the dust bin opened. And it was too late for the top to hide. It was the boy who used to play with them.

The ball quickly kissed him. "Even when our time together is so short, I'll treasure it for the rest of my life."

"Just as I thought," they heard as the boy peeked through the bin. "Here you are!" The boy said as he reached for the gilt top.

The top, not wanting to leave, rolled over and pushed the ball, that the boy reached for the ball.

"Ah!" the boy exclaimed with disgust when he saw what he was holding but stared at the ball for a while. "This is my old ball. So it was here all along!" he said joyfully as he let it bounce. His other hand searched for the gilt top and took it. Now, his favorite toys are back.

The ball looked clean now, and her beauty shone more than ever. She was so happy to bounce again.

"I hope you still want to get married with me," said the top. "I always feel afraid when you bounce too high for the swallow might come and make you his wife."

"I already told you, you are the most beautiful thing on earth. I still want to marry you, silly."

The top smiled. And he spun happily and she bounced joyfully ever after.

*this is my own ending of the story The Top and Ball by Hans Christian Andersen. I just can't take sad endings. So here's for the sake of happily ever after. Hope you liked it! :)*

-Calla Lily

Have you read Hans Christians Andersen's The Top and Ball?
If not, you can read it here: http://hca.gilead.org.il/top_ball.html

live life loving

2012-06-24T21:23:00.000-07:00

Being be able to live means being able to love. How could I say so? Let's press rewind... back when there was nothing but vast emptiness in the universe... Okay, that's way too far. Let's press forward... on that very week of creation when God said, "Let there be light." and presto! There was light. The power of God was so great that just by the sound of His voice He has made all things well. But how did He create us? He took mud and molded us into His likeness... God didn't merely say, "Let there be man." He created us with His own hands. We are His masterpiece. By that moment of creation, God was happy and proud of His work... because we were created out of His great love.

The keyword is there: LOVE... Life sprung out because of Love.

God has given us life. A very wonderful gift that we oftentimes take for granted. No one can truly understand the gift God has given until it is wasted away. And by then, we think about the time it was awesome and never really noticed that it was. Why? Because we failed to do one important thing: we failed to do our life's purpose. Yes, we failed to love.

And why do we fail? because Love, no matter how beautiful actually hurts... that is a fact. When we look at the Bible, it tells us the greatest love story the world has ever told... the love that was best expressed at the cross. Love is painful... but then... love brings forth salvation... and LOVE, brings forth life. Love is constant... whatever we do, whoever we are with, wherever we are, whenever it is, LOVE remains the same. It's unchanging. However, oftentimes, love requires sacrifice.

It isn't easy to love. To give away ourselves and get nothing in return... and worse, when we give love and get hurt in return. Too often, we stop loving because of fear of hurting. We never realize that by doing so, we also stopped living. For without love, happiness, peace, harmony is also gone. What then is left for our lives to live?

Take away your foolishness, your stupid pride. Bury them deep down somewhere you cannot dig it up. Live. Love. Be happy. Because God wants us the best of the gift He has given.

Fret not if you fail... for as long as the sun rises in the east, God's love and mercy is renewed each passing day. Always remember that whenever you give love, it bounces back to you. Always... Always... because love is constant. It is forever.

Try not to be caught up with things of this life for all are vanity and it vanishes away. These are the things that is preventing love from coming into your heart. Learn to hold on something eternal... hold on to your soul. Your Guardian Angel. Mary our Mother. Hold on to Jesus. Be guided by the Holy Spirit. Hold on to God.

Do not forget, you shall pass this world but once... you get to live one life... a gift so precious God has chosen for you to have.

Live... Today you might be trapped in hatred. But love will always find its way back to you. Get out from the mud you buried yourself. Stand up. He is always stretching His hands wide open for you. As wide as He stretched for in the cross. Forgive yourself... for God already did.

Make a difference. Live life loving. It heals all the pains of living.

Just TODAY...

2012-05-30T12:50:00.000-07:00

I used to keep a diary... Up to this moment, I'm still keeping one. I can best express myself through writing, that is why... But one strange thing is that I've lost last year's journal. Well, last year was... how do I describe it? It is the darkest year for us. Mama got sick. But I have no entry, not one single writing about how I was or how we were able to cope up with the situation... 2011 just seem not to exist. But I knew very well what happened last year... but it is something I never want to talk about for fear that I might feel again that searing pain that I have always prayed to cease.

I don't wanna write about it but I have to. Because I feel the need to. So let me step back to that very day the heavens seemed to have shut its doors for us...

It was Good Friday. I managed to have my final fasting for the Lenten season and accompanied the Lord's passion for the whole night (we sang the passion of Christ, reflecting from the very beginning of His life until His death). It was 9am when I went to my host family's house with my back aching. It was really painful. And it might be because we've been sitting up all night. And when I reached my room, I read messages from home. And I was shocked to read that Mama is not well. It seemed that she has broke some bones on her back and she can do no more than sit in one position and cry in pain.

I felt broken. For a while I wasn't able to speak. I just cried until I could not cry anymore. I felt I've got to do something but just can't figure out what to do. And it struck me that I really can't do anything about it. I prayed... I prayed the sorrowful mysteries with so much sorrow that I didn't notice how long I was kneeling that my feet went numb after I felt I have prayed enough. I could not bear to imagine how they were back home. I could feel the tension, the worry in their voices every time I call. And Mama won't even talk to me. I know that everything is not okay and I can't do anything about it.

It was a long period of sadness... of never ending worries... of fears too great for our hearts to contain. It had been tough for them back home. Because suddenly, Mama isn't able to do the things she used to do. They have to improvise things to make it easier. So that the pain she feels might be lessened. Yes, every second since she got sick, she had been crying for pain. I can't even bear to imagine it. how much more if I am at home watching her crying in pain? They didn't sleep at home at all. And when they had to go to the hospital which is 72 km away from home, it took almost five hours to get there. Because Mama shouts in pain every time there is a bump in the road. And the road to the city is not so good. It was an agonizing trip to the hospital. And they have prayed all kind of prayers just to get through that day.

I could not recall how long they had stayed in the hospital waiting for the result. The doctor said it's osteoporosis. The reason for Mama's slipped disk which caused her so much pain. They had to investigate further for the cause of the bone disease and they had to travel to Cebu to have that. At first attempt, they weren't able to ride the fast craft because Mama was in so much pain despite the pain killers they gave her. They had to wait until the pain is tolerable enough for Mama to travel. Until they successfully reached Perpetual Succour Hospital. They took bone marrow sample from her at which Mama was hesitant at first but was convinced after we all encouraged her. And it was then that they told us Mama's diagnosis-- Multiple Myeloma. Well, that's not what they told me actually. They told me it's cancer. That's a word by the way I could easily understand and hoped to have misheard. I was shocked and stunned and for a while I could not breathe. And as the most painful and fearful truth finally got me, I cried for what seemed to be forever. I prayed so hard and felt like I never prayed enough. I think I've gone crazy for a while... and the most common question in the world that arrives to confused and hurt people popped up in my head, WHY? Why Mama? Why cancer? Why us?

I have read books about people having cancer. Yes, I read about My Sister's Keeper and it was a poignant story that made me cry a lot of times. I felt their pain... I thought reading those stories will at least give you an overview of what it could feel. But the pain of knowing the one person you have loved all your life have cancer is almost unbearable. I could not imagine how I get through those days. I don't remember exactly when I stopped crying. And it's not just cry. It' sobbing. It's wailing with never ending begging that it might just go away. But it didn't go away. For a long time we have lived with that fact. And a day seemed a year. It was difficult. It was intoxicating. It felt like the skies had always been dark.

At some point we felt hopeless... and my greatest fear? Is to be stuck somewhere so far while my mother could anytime you know, die. (feared that word so much) I know that all people die. Eventually I will and I am not afraid of death... what I am afraid of is living life not the way it used to be because someone who has meant the world to you ceased existing. That would be tormenting... and I don't know if I'd be able to cope up with that.

We had been emotionally,physically, spiritually and financially drained. But every time it seemed impossible for us to find money for medication, someone extends help. I was even torn between working somewhere else first rather than going home. The pressure was great. My mother wants me to be home. And I have been longing to see her since I knew she was sick. I had this belief that if only I could touch her she will be healed. Because I have asked God that if He wills, I can have my mother's pain. I am young and I can handle it much better than her. I've asked a lot of opinion. And it tore my heart that the best thing to do in order to continue the treatment is for me to work somewhere else. I was confused and was really troubled. I talked to my family and we always come up with “God will provide.” talks. But we were actually worried. But then, I went home... because I may earn money for treatment but that doesn't guarantee that Mama will be healed. She had been bedridden for months and who knows what else could happen?

I went home. And I was surprised and very grateful for the love my host family gave me and my Filipino family in Norway. I did not expect that they would send me off with a generous amount that was able to hold a week's treatment for Mama.

So I went home... And I saw from my very eyes my mother's struggle. Her every pain... and it was never easy not knowing what to do. Ate Geegile and Ayen joined forces together. Eboy and Papa had remained strong for us. They had been through a lot. And I could not imagine how it could have been the past months (the darkest days) that I wasn't able to witness. Mama Josie (my mother's elder sister) was consistently on our side, never left us, supported us all the way. And together with a lot of people who cared for us, we managed to get life by, day by day.

God has always been good to us. Miracles happen everyday. Things got better. From being bedridded, Mama was able to stand a little and sit on a wheelchair. She used to be depressed but slowly had a positive aura. Gone was the denial stage. Everything was getting better. Our lives weren't normal but at least, it is getting better. And that is by the way a great great change which we are grateful for each day.

And just today... TODAY...the very reason I looked back that painful memory, was the feeling of unmeasurable happiness of what we feel together. It is true that miracles do happen. We had it today. And we'll have it on the days to come.

Mama's diagnosis from her recent bone marrow aspiration is : NO EVIDENCE OF MYELOMA SEEN.

I cried. No, I sobbed. My heart seemed to burst with so much happiness that I wanted to shout at the top of my lungs declaring how good God is.

Right now, my mother's on remission... and how were we able to be on this spot, feeling so grateful to God for the gift of life?

We did not give up... we fought for life. We begged for mercy. And God heared us. He gave us people that would help us. He stretched forth His hand to heal Mama.

I used to cry at night wishing that life won't be so cruel...that it would once again be kind to us... that we would smile and laugh like the way we used to be and not live in fear that something wrong might happen.

I felt that is happening now. And I thank God for being our God...for being forever good and merciful.

Today, I knew God has loved us deeply. And I have truly understood the meaning of this passage: “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things. Endures all things.” 1Corinthians 13:7

While writing this, I'm listening to a song which made my tears well up. And it goes like this, "Savior, He can move the mountains. My God is mighty to save. HE IS MIGHTY TO SAVE."

Very true indeed. JESUS SAVES.

I know that there are still a lot to come... But today... We thank God for the greatest gift He gave us... the gift of Mama's life... the hope of a better future... the promise of a better life... and yeah, who knows that our life might go back to normal?

I thank God of all the people He gave us...family, friends, doctors, nurses, priests, all... We are so blessed. May God continue to bless us all.

in summary

2011-12-16T23:33:00.000-08:00

I could not think of a word that could truly describe how I feel right now. It's been a while since I've written. Well, I've been writing but not blogging. I kinda missed this stuff. Yeah... I just realized now how much I missed this stuff.

My life has turned 360 degrees, and that's not an exaggeration. When I came home, there were adjustments I had to get through but they were minimal. That's like, 20 degrees or less, so to say. There were times I missed Norway, like I can't help but notice the yearning deep inside me. (That's a good thing though. Because realized how blessed I was, how God was gracious to me in a foreign land. Because most of the most wonderful things, best experiences, greatest lessons, happened there.) Being home doesn't make me miss home (being in Norway does) but it did make me feel grateful for each day that God has given.

For more than two months, I stayed home, doing nothing. That's like 180 degrees. well, not really nothing because I did some things which were worthwhile. Writing is one. But yeah... it is different when you have a job. Well, I knew it will be tough. Before I decided to go home, I knew that will happen. I didn't even have concrete plans so I knew that it will come a time that it will be difficult. But I never thought it could be that emotionally draining. Mama's sick and I have nothing more to offer to support her medication. That was really tough. But help always comes. For so many times, Glogie (my bestfriend) has saved us. And a lot of people do care and pray for us. Ate Joann and Ate Eper had always been our help too. Mama Josie's support is ceaseless and all Mama's sisters and brothers. So, still, I've got so much to be grateful for. Because God has never failed to help us. Some days just weren't perfect. But that's just the way life goes. The thing I was so grateful for was that at the times when things seem worst for us, I was there. I might not have helped that much, but I was there. And that was the thing I have been praying for since I was away from home. Now, I did pray that I would get a high paying job. And guess what, I was hired. And Glogie has helped me on that.

I really never thought I'd be a call center agent. Well, that was my first option before I went to Denmark. I told myself that I need not go abroad if I could have that job. But I failed to. So I went to Denmark. I was hopeful during the interview but not that expectant. I mean, I knew for certain that I am not so good with regards to verbal English. I can write though. I am confident with that. But speak? I am not so sure. But I did my best. And I prayed hard. Like really hard. And it was enough.

On the third week of October, training started. I met nice, good people. During the orientation I just realized that God has given me one of the best accounts there is. First few days were good. I had trouble sleeping though. I missed silence sooo much. As the days went on, the training went harder. I'm not so good with Math. And my English, I realized is poor. It had been a great struggle. There were times it felt like the way I felt before in college... I really wanted to quit. I could not understand anymore. I could not do it anymore. This isn't my line. This isn't the way I wanted. This is far from what I expected.

Life has not been easy. I should say, it turned 360 degrees this time. There were times it wore me out. People who know me would know my tolerance for weariness. And I could say it is high. But sometimes life itself takes the life out of me. Well, I really can't go through the details to that but that is certainly what happens at times I do not understand life anymore. It was a struggle. But when the going gets tough, there is really no other way to go but forward. There were times when hope seems to be gone... really gone. But giving up is never an option. There were times when I've cried so much and found out that tears can do nothing except make my eyes blur. So I had to wipe it out and be strong.

At this point of time, I am actually okay. Well, not A-Okay. But, okay. And that is actually...well, okay, right? I know I need to improve, in a lot of ways. And I am learning everyday. What I just pray is that I will never lose of things essential, the most important ones in life. I am doing things the best way I can. And every time I go to work I put it in my heart that I've got to give my best to help someone. Not just because I am paid for it but because it is what I love to do... I still feel nervous every time the phone rings. All throughout the shift actually. I know I will get used to it. And I know, it will bring out the best in me.

This is so far from the life I thought I'm gonna live. And people close to me know that. But I do believe that God has a reason for everything. So, yes, I'm gonna be here for as long as it takes... :) And be of help... right? Right!

May God bless us all.

journey home

2011-08-20T12:55:00.000-07:00

My last day in Norway was heartbreaking. I felt sadness like I never felt before. The pain was almost like leaving home. Yes, it was almost unbearable. Missing the people you've learned to love was the hardest part. But what made me get through it was the joy of a well-lived life Norway has given me. I know I felt nothing but grateful... for all the people God has given me that molded me into a better person. So even when I've shed so many tears, I was able to smile because I am happy I am finally going home. :)

My flight to Moscow went fine. I waited for four hours for my flight to Hongkong. I've read the cards and letters and scrapbooks given to me. And once again I cried because I felt so blessed and I felt special. I wrote cards for my family too. And cried once more for the unexplainable happiness of the realization that after the long wait, I am finally coming home.

When it was boarding time, I went to gate 50 and was confused when people suddenly got out off the line and went to gate 51. And it wasn't my flight. I hurriedly went to the information desk, following two more ladies who were on the same flight only to hear, "It has already departed." And I was like, "What?" Hoping I heard it wrong but the lady said. "The plane has left."

And there, I felt an adrenaline rush but I didn't know what to do. I thought I was going crazy for a while when they said we need to book another ticket. I was close to tears and was really worried as they kept us (Tracy and me, the other girl must've found another flight) inside the room to wait. They took our passports and our boarding pass. And for what seemed like forever, we waited. I was really afraid of not going home. I was thinking that I have been so irresponsible for myself that I missed my flight. The thing is, they changed the gates without announcements. But I got one fault too, I lost track of time. When worries and confusion and anxiety went too far, I closed my eyes and prayed. I didn't know what will happen next and I guess, I will always not know. But one thing I could do was trust that God will make a way. He always does good things. Why should I worry. So I lifted up everything unto Him. And I felt the burden inside me eased up. The gummy candies from Tracy helped relax my tensed nerves too. It was a great relief that I wasn't alone. I was so glad to have her as a company.

And then the lady in uniform came and said, "Come, ladies!" And we had new flight tickets :) I felt so relieved. Thank God! We had to wait for tomorrow but it didn't matter as long as we can go home. Tracy got a little emotional with what happened. She said it was like an eye opener for her because she always make people she loves worry about her. She went to Europe for a tour and she didn't expect she would be in this situation. I just told her that things happen for a reason though we won't know until the later time.

A memorabilia of that terrible moment... and yet, we're still smiling :)

But the happiness didn't stop there. My second stop-over is like a dream come true. Korea! I really felt so happy. Truly, God does wonders! Sleeping at the airport wasn't so easy but manageable. Back pains can't kill. That's a good thing. I enjoyed being with Tracy until my next flight.

Excitement filled me while I was boarding Korean Air. I savored each happy feeling I got. And I felt more than blessed. I felt like a child who's wish had finally came true. The happiness was undefinable. For a while, I forgot that my heart was breaking. I enjoyed staying twelve hours at Incheon Airport. I love every moment being there. At last, I saw them all and hearing them speak. Yes, it was one of the most fascinating experience ever! I was even lucky to have the chance to wear hanbok (their national costume). Plus, there were live performances of their ancient culture. Amazing.. yeah, severe na severe! I took some pics!

Roaming around the airport. My smile shows how happy I am... hehe

I can't believe I was able to wore hanbok. It's dream come true! Yey!

With a real Korean! haha


Lucky to see them! I even left my luggage and followed the parade.haha

sooo Korea! >¨<

And now.. waiting for my flight home... :)

When I boarded at my flight for Cebu, I was so awesomely fulfilled. Real joy took over. At last, I was going home!
My brother was there to fetch me from the airport. Too bad, the battery was exhausted. I was exhausted too.
And after a long, long journey, I was finally home. I get to hug them all. Most of all, I get to hug, Mama. That was an answered prayer too. I thank God I was at last, HOME.

Prayer to the Lady of all Nations (Prayer for the World)

2011-07-23T16:05:00.000-07:00

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the Father, send now Your Spirit over the earth. Let the Holy Spirit live in the hearts of all nations, that they may be preserved from degeneration, disaster and war. May the Lady of All Nations, who once was Mary, be our Advocate. Amen

*** especially dedicated to Oslo bombing and the massacre at the youth camp in Utøya. May our God, forever good and forever righteous, bring forth peace into our hearts amidst this great tragedy. May He comfort the people who have suffered great loss. May He restore all weary hearts. May His justice and mercy prevail above all. All these we ask in Jesus' name. Amen.

Miracle Prayer to the HOLY SPIRIT

2011-06-07T17:40:00.000-07:00

O Holy Spirit, Thou made me see everything and showed me the way to reach my ideals. You who gave me the divine gift to forgive and forget the wrong that is done to me, and You who are with me in all incidences of my life. I, in this short dialogue, want to thank You for everything and confirm once more that I never want to be separated from You, no matter how great the material desire may be.

I want to be with You and my loved ones in Your perpetual glory. Amen.

Thank You for Your love towards me and my loved ones.

Pray this for 3 consecutive days without saying the wish. After the 3rd day, your wish will be granted no matter how difficult it may be.

Promise to publish this dialogue as soon as your favor has been granted.

in times of trials

2011-05-26T06:00:00.000-07:00

Each and everyone of us has his/her own share of trials. Some we face with courage, with positive thoughts, with fighting spirit... some we face with fear, with despair, with frustration... That's life. Each and everyone of us must go through it.

It is difficult. All trials are. Sometimes we even think we can never get out of it alive. Sometimes the sorrow is unbearable we just want to give up life. Sometimes the pain cuts too deep we just want to let go rather because the hurting seems to never stop. And we begin to ask WHY? and the only answer set before us is the defeaning silence that scares our weakened souls.

But though dark clouds are over us, we are left with a choice: either we fret when we get wet and soaked at the heavy downpour of the rain, or play in the rain. We can complain and cry out for the heavy burden we are to carry or we smile at it and tell ourselves we can make it. Whichever we choose, we still have to carry our cross. The choice is ours. We can worry, that's alright. That is normal... but we can also pray. They are almost the same. Worrying is like chanting over problems (getting depressed in the process thinking of the worst things) while praying is like chanting over problems (getting stronger in the process thinking of the best things that God will be giving). When worry attacks, give it all to God. Because at times you do not know what to do, He knows just what to do.

We must put in mind that during these times of trials, of deep sorrow, of great tribulation, we will never be alone. God is with us. GOD is with us. Our Rock and Fortress. Our Strong Foundation. Our Mighty Protector. Our Friend. Our Greatest Consolation. Our Help. Our Refuge. Our Saviour. Our Shepherd. Our Salvation... to whom shall we be afraid?

When we realize how strong our God is, we then know how to face each trial. We then find that spark of hope that illumines our darkest path. Then we begin to walk in His light. And we begin to take heart... and before we knew it, we become stronger than we thought we ever could be.

These trials and tests in life are God's way of refining us... of preparing us for eternity. It is His way of molding us to the person He created us. His way of strengthening us. His way of making us worthy to be heirs of His kingdom in heaven. The way to eternal life is the way of the cross. We must carry our burdens with perseverance until we finish the race when we finally stand before our God, and He will be saying , "Well done, good and faithful servant."

I know that when we go through something, no amount of anything could make us feel better. But one powerful thing I discovered, prayer works. It does. Always. It may not take away the pain, it may not change things into the way you want things to be, it may not even be the answer you want to hear but prayer... makes you get through the worst. Because when you pray, you humble yourself. Your heart becomes like that of a child. You begin to surrender yourself to God and allow Him to take charge of the things which are beyond your strength. And when you truly discover the power of God, in these times of trials, MIRACLES do happen.

"He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." -Revelation 21:4

This is what we ought to put in mind. This is our strength... our faith that never waver is delightful in the eyes of our Lord... It puts a smile in His face. It brings Him joy... And this, is our strength.
Let me now share a prayer I've read online. The author of this is unknown. It's a beautiful prayer which I now pray for you... and you who are reading this may pray for the someone who is suffering right now...

May the angels keep you til morning.
May they guide you through the night.
May they comfort all your sorrows.
May they help you win the fight.

May they keep watch on your soul.
May they show you better ways.
May they guard you while you're sleeping.
May they see you through your days.

May they show you new hopes.
May they still your every doubt.
May they calm your every fear.
May they hear you when you shout.

May the angels keep you til morning.
More than this I cannot pray.
And if the angels ever fail you.
Then may God be there that day.

Let us remember what Saint Paul said while he was still suffering during his lifetime whom in proclaiming the gospel of the Lord. He worked much harder, been in prison more frequently, been flogged more severely, and been exposed to death again and again. And He said,

"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us." - Romans 8:18

My Girlfriend is A Gumiho

2011-05-24T15:57:00.000-07:00

It's been a long time since I watched Korean Novelas, I was curious with the new Tagalized (dubbed in Tagalog) Korean drama in ABS-CBN because of it's title. My Girlfriend is a Gumiho. What in the world is a Gumiho? So I watched the first episode, and learned that a gumiho is a nine-tailed fox. And I found myself smiling, laughing and crying because of the drama. The storyline was superb! Mi Ho is a nine-tailed fox who had been trapped in a painting in the temple for 500 years because of the goddess' curse. She used Cha Dae Wong to release her from that painting. Because of fear, Cha Dae Wong ran and fell on a cliff and was badly injured. Mi Ho, as a gratitude for freeing her from that painting, gave her bead to Cha Dae Wong so he may live. If she takes out the bead, Cha Dae Wong will die. But she has to be near her bead because it's her source of power. Cha Dae Wong was left with no choice except to keep her and teach her how to act human. Mi Ho then met Park Dong Joo who told her she can be human. She had to drink his blood and let someone hold her bead for 100 days. Cha Dae Wong gladly want to hold the bead because he needed it. But to be human had a consequence. Adding up to that consequence, Mi Ho fell in love with Cha Dae Wong. And she was left with two choices, to disappear or let Cha Dae Wong die. And you have to find out for yourself what happened next. It's worth watching!

It has been so long since I was moved by what I watched. I finished the whole drama in two days! And up till now I still have this last song syndrome : Dubirubiru Dubirubirurafa... haha It's sooo cute! and so so heartbreaking at the same time. I'll rate it 10 :) because it left me happiness which makes me smile until now. I love Lee Seung Gi (Cha Dae Wong) and Shin Min Ah (Mi Ho)- they are cute Hoi Hoi couple.
We used to believe that when it's sunny and it suddenly rains, there's a feast in heaven... After watching the drama, I think of Mi Ho, and think that she might be crying.
hehe

You can watch it in www.mysoju.com. :) and if you want it dubbed in Tagalog you can watch it in www.dabarkads.tk

What's more amazing is that Lee Seung Gi is actually the one who sang the OST of the Drama. Here's the video of his live performance which really made me smile a lot. I thought only wondergirls do those kind of steps. It's quite hilarious to see Lee Seung Gi dance... well in a cute way :)

And here's the song with lyrics so you can also sing along:

He also sang this one, also one of the soundtracks:

And the very famous Fox Rain! :)

Here is a song from Shin Min Ah:

And this one is cute!

And the very famous Hoi Hoi song!

If I had a last song syndrome, I also had a last phrase syndrome, "Baka! Baka!" (Beef! Beef!):)

She is...

2011-05-08T01:43:00.000-07:00

She is the one person whom I spent nine months of pure solitude... I knew then her very heartbeat and she knew mine. She is the first person I trusted (even when I do not know that the word trust ever existed, i just felt it). She is the first person I loved. She taught me my first word. She delighted in my first step. She was so proud with my first scribbles on the walls of our house.

She was the one running when I get hurt and just a kiss takes the pain away. She was the one who stayed up all night whenever I am sick. She taught me about Jesus and taught me how to pray.

She knows everything about me. She knows what makes me laugh and what makes me cry. She always thinks about me even when I can make it on my own. Without me knowing, she was always trying to make things perfect for me. She had stretched forth beyond her own might to meet my needs. And never did I hear her complain. She always forgives me when I do something wrong.

She is the one who loves me best. Unconditionally. And by doing so, she taught me how to love unconditionally, too. And learning how to love the greatest lesson I've learned in this life.

Will a Thank You be enough? Most probably not... But all I have is a heartfelt thanks that God created this one person to be my mother, my teacher, my superhero, my bestfriend, my Mama Didith.

Happy Mother's Day Ma! I love you with a love I can never put into words. May the angels extend forth my hug and wrap you with the warmth of my love ... I do pray you will soon be as good as new. I know you will be. Thank you so much for loving me. Thank you for being the best. I my have grown up but nothing has changed, I still need you the way I do when I was little. I will always need you. I love you kaayo Ma! :)

vennskapsdagene

2011-05-05T13:52:00.000-07:00

The Lord, once again, has blessed me with a wonderful day. :)

It's my third time joining the Vennskapsdagene (friendship day) at Vinderen Skole. It's a day where the whole school is raising fund for their beneficiary which is Afghanistan. The children were making all sorts of stuffs and services to sell. Some were selling food and beverages- cakes, brownies, muffins, buns, popcorns, waffles, hotdogs, softdrinks, saft, smoothies etc; bracelets; figurines; some had a concert, some were offering make-over, face-painting and a lot more. You would love to see the face of the children who are eager to sell. And they knew they are helping the children in Afghanistan. I think Vinderen Skole had been doing it for so long. They already help built schools there. The Afghanistan Ambassador was there, and was happy to see how busy the pupils were. It's nice to see how they enjoyed doing that stuff and that they are aware that they so it for the benefit of others.
I am actually so proud of Kaspar. Early this morning he called his group mates to make sure they are bringing food they could sell. He was like a businessman making phone calls. And I could not help but smile. He talked like a grown up. He's just 10 and he took the responsibility like a real adult. And his mom and dad are so proud of him.
I really enjoyed today. :) I met some au pairs also, there were four of us there. And we had fun with the children. Here are some pics of the day!

the banner

busy school ground

waffles. popcorns and saft!

Kaspar's group's booth

Kaspar in-charge :)

print ads!

Cydney :)

print ads!

on the way to smoothie!

when lost, follow signs!

to the beauty salon

lots of stuff!

Friis and Company

naip polishing :)

adorable

hannah and cydney

too much cakes!

julie and jen

transforming

almost done!

emo puppy!haha

That's what I call a beautiful day! Praise be to our God for making this day a beautiful one. God bless us all!

The Serenity Prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr

2011-04-11T12:31:00.001-07:00

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as a pathway to peace.

Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him forever in the next. AMEN."

When You Thought I Wasn't Looking by Mary Rita Schilke Korzan

2011-04-01T16:22:00.000-07:00

(One of the loveliest poems I've ever read. I just thought I need to share!)

When you thought I wasn’t looking
You hung my first painting on the refrigerator
And I wanted to paint another.

When you thought I wasn’t looking
You fed a stray cat
And I thought it was good to be kind to animals.

When you thought I wasn’t looking
You baked a birthday cake just for me
And I knew that little things were special things.

When you thought I wasn’t looking
You said a prayer
And I believed there was a God that I could always talk to.

When you thought I wasn’t looking
You kissed me good-night
And I felt loved.

When you thought I wasn’t looking
I saw tears come from your eyes
And I learned that sometimes things hurt—
But that it’s alright to cry.

When you thought I wasn’t looking
You smiled
And it made me want to look that pretty too.

When you thought I wasn’t looking
You cared
And I wanted to be everything I could be.

When you thought I wasn’t looking—
I looked . . .
And wanted to say thanks
For all those things you did
When you thought I wasn’t looking.

to love and... just to love

2011-03-18T08:24:00.000-07:00

Something in me has changed... 160 degrees change... Maybe it has something to do with watching the life of St. Francis, because somehow, I felt and understood what it is to live by the life he chose to live, a life of loving God... or maybe it has something to do with the Scripture readings and daily meditations, and heaven letters and God whispers, and yeah, practising the presence of God by Brother Lawrence... Because just few days ago, I am completely devastated... I've cried so much out of grief, out of worries, out of fears because of all of the happenings around the world...

And then, I felt that God opened my mind and my heart to understanding that I can never understand His ways... And I have to accept it. The mind of God is totally different from the mind of human. And it is because He is God. Then, I tried to reflect... It may look devastating, it may look like a loss... but we never knew what it is like in heaven. Perhaps, the ones who have died are even more lucky than we who are alive... for they can be with the Lord forever... isn't that what we are looking forward to? Isn't that what brings us real joy? Should we fear death? Isn't it something we should look forward to? Is the world going to end? Isn't that what we've waited for 2011 years? for the Lord's coming will be at hand? and we who suffer in this present life will suffer no more for He will wipe every tear in our eyes? Shouldn't it give us comfort rather than agony and fear?

And suddenly... my heart is at peace... because I've come to know that I must love God with all my heart... whatever the circumstances may be, whatever situation, whoever I am with, I must love God... for the sake of loving... for He, Himself is God...

I've come to realize that my life should be lived loving Him... and He is in every person, in every creature, in every thing... If my waking days will still be long, I will give thanks because it gives me time to know Him more...and love Him more...

I still continue to pray for everyone who have died, because I believe in the unexplainable power of prayer, I believe that prayer saves souls... and I pray for every broken hearts out there, for every broken homes, for those who cry out because of pain, hunger, and thirst, for the suffering world, and for the hopeless that they may find hope and strength in the Lord... for when we begin to trust Him, He blesses us with understanding... He makes us see and feel how great His love is. He makes us face every affliction with confidence... He will never leave us nor forsake us.

Jesus lives in you and me... inside us... We only have to acknowledge His presence every single second of every single day... Our Lord, hears our prayers... for when we pray, Christ Himself (with all the scars from the wounds He acquired during His sorrowful passion) brings our petition to the Father. And how can God say no to His beloved Son? to the very sacrificial Lamb?

Let us continue to pray... and no matter what, let us LOVE... just love... Remember Jesus said, "You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you."

And also, “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect."

That is the kind of love God has for us... that is the kind of heart I hope to acquire... a heart that can love just like the way Jesus loves... May we all have a heart that loves... just love. God bless us all :)

a heartfelt prayer

2011-03-15T09:16:00.000-07:00

From where I am right now, I can see broken homes and broken hearts. I can hear the loud weeping and what seems to be endless wailing. I can feel the sorrow of every heart...

I was devastated when I heard about the earthquake and tsunami in Japan, and I was terrified when I saw it on the news. I wasn't able to work. Fear crept over me. And my heart goes out to all the people, animals, homes, (everyone and everything) that was wrecked, totally destroyed by the tsunami. I was even more afraid when there was a possibility for tsunami at our very land. I was so sad for those I haven't even met, for a land I don't even know so much about. How much more my own country? My family and my friends are there!

I felt I was literally shaking... and then I knelt down... and in a sobbing voice, I prayed. My confidence and trust lies in my Saviour, in my Maker whose steadfast love never changes and whose great mercy never ceases. Somehow, by the end of my prayer, I felt being comforted.

I am still sorrowful... that on the other side of the earth, people are suffering. And I am still afraid... that the world will end and I am not together with my family. That is the worst thing that my mind came up with. But I am not dwelling on it because the world needs my prayer. I do believe that an honest, sincere prayer reaches heaven the fastest. No matter how unworthy, no matter how much we have sinned, when we pray with a contrite heart, God will hear.

And God will hear US, if we pray with one voice.

Honestly, I don't know how to interpret these things. These happenings are written in the book of Revelations, these famines, wars, earthquakes, floods. plagues... even Jesus predicted this. And throughout the ages, we knew that all the words that came forth from the mouth of God came to pass.

"As the rain and the snow
   come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
   without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
   so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
   It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
   and achieve the purpose for which I sent it." -Isaiah 55:10-11

There were a lot of questions, "Is this the beginning of the end?" If the answer is yes, why are we afraid? We should be happy to be finally out of the land of the exile. The answer is because the world is not yet ready. I wish that all people know and believe in Jesus, because by His name, we all will be saved. I wish every living creature will proclaim Him as Our Lord for He truly is. I wish that everyone can learn to trust in His mercy and love... the greatest kind of love that He expressed on the cross as He lay down His life to save us from the death of sin.

We are bought at a price... a price we will never be able to pay. And it sad that not all of us realizes that. It is what brings forth my tears, thinking of how many unbelievers have died. But I believe that if we pray for them, they will experience an eternal life with God, because God loves both the righteous and the sinners, both believer and unbeliever. Because we are all His creation. No matter how we hurt Him with our transgressions, He still loves us and is always willing to forgive us.

I am afraid of the destruction, of seeing, hearing and feeling the world as it suffers. I can't take it watching the people I love suffer. I know I can handle my own suffering, but I don't know if I can take watching the sufferings of others. But if it is something that should take place, it is something that we should bear with trust that the Lord, Our Most Powerful God, will come to save us. And that would be the moment when He will create new heavens and new earth... and we will be with the Lord forever.

"Fear nothing...Before I made the world, I loved you with the love your heart is experiencing today and, throughout the centuries, My love will never change." (1754) words of Our Lord to St. Faustina

So, I invoke everyone to pray... Let us pray that each soul may be saved. Let us pray for our brethren who are suffering right now... for every child who was made orphan, for every broken homes, for everyone who has lost their loved ones, for those who are waiting to be rescued, for all who are afraid, hungry and desperate... Our hands may not reach them but our prayers will...

These are devastatingly sorrowful events... but I'll put my hope and trust in the Lord that amidst the darkness of this present time, awaits a new life with Him in eternity.

"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us." -ROMANS 8:18

from Heaven Letters

2011-03-10T08:11:00.000-08:00

I subscribed from Heaven Letters and this is just one of the best letters I've received. :) Please read on.

God said:

Pure is the heart that loves. Love takes care of all the obstacles. When there is love, obstacles to love have no choice but to fade. Love wins. Obstacles don’t. Love and obstacles do not coexist. What was an obstacle is no longer an obstacle.

Even if for a moment, obstacles lag. When love surmounts obstacles, obstacles by the very nature of love come down to size. Obstacles, like ego, are not as big or high-faluting as they seem. Obstacles, like ego, are frail.

Obstacles to love are evidence of ego.

You were taught and learned a standard that said: ”Of course, you don’t love here or like that.” Obstacles to love are a matter of pride. In truth, there is not anyone who does not merit your love. My love is full and avoids no corners. If you are to give My love, then you are to love as I do love. You give love like Mine. My love is unrestricted love, for My love within you comes from the heart, not the mind. Sometimes the mind is just too clever to love. The mind is too smart for its own good. The mind plants its feet and dares not depart.

Love is not something that is weighed.

Because you love everyone does not mean that you are obliged to everyone. Love is not – I repeat – love is not obligation. Obligation is love enchained. Love enchained is not love. I adjure you to love and to love all. Because you love and someone loves you does not obligate you to subjugate your will. You are not going to marry everyone you love. Love means going by the heart and not mind. Obligation is of the mind.

When it comes to love, when it comes to the state of loving, love is not denied. Love the reprobate. Love the judger. Love all those who do not know about love and the range of love. The ball is in your court. You love. You just love.

The naughty boy is just as worthy of love as the obedient boy.

The man with a closed heart is just as worthy of love as the man with an open loving heart. This is what it means that you love all. Your love is not respective of status, performance, or judgment.

If love is too big a word for you, then choose the word appreciate, or choose the word blessing. Appreciate and bless. Someone with a closed heart exists in the world. Is he not brave? Bless him for his courage then.

Maybe you were that restricted heart once. And look how much your heart has opened. Look at you now. Someone, or many, appreciated and blessed you. They saw that you were a leaf from God’s tree. For a moment, or for a day, or always, they saw Whose child you are. They saw beyond your daily manifestation. They were not trying to improve or change you. They simply saw what I do see.

What I am capable of, you are capable of. The question is: Are you willing?

Are you willing to defray your willful mind and surrender to your heart? No longer deny the wealth of your heart.

What you surrender to is Truth.

Be brother or sister to all. No longer separate yourself.

Love the lost lambs as well as the found ones.

Love for a change. Love first. Love without revision. Love because everyone in the world can use your love. Love because you need your love. Love for no other reason than that the sun shines. Unrestrict your love so that the sun shines for all.

If you wish to receive daily messages from God, just click HEAVEN LETTERS.

I also subscribed to God Whispers. It is worth reading. It is something I look forward to.

Because I believe that no words comes to you, no message, nor Scripture readings that is by accident. It is what God wants you to know. It is His way of letting You know He is thinking of you and He knows what you are going through. It is His way of letting you understand His love and making you feel you are never forgotten by Him.

I also read Our Daily Bread, Today's Mass Readings, and Daily Scripture Readings and Meditations.

I encourage you to read His word. This time of lent, let us open our hearts to Him. Let us trust in His steadfast love and great mercy. Let us fast, abstain, and offer sacrifices. And when we feel that pain, let us all remember that Jesus had it all...

May this lent be a moment of reconciliation. May this bring forth hope, faith and love upon our souls. God loves us so. No matter how many times we turn our backs on Him, He never turned His back on us. He is always there with an outstretched arm, always ready to embrace us when we are ready to acknowledge Him as Our Father. That's how awesome His love is for us... That even if we continue to sin against Him, He still loves us.

Lastly, I'd like to share a poem I've heard from Father Leo Clifford on Daily Video Reflections. It is a poem of Jesus addressing to Judas while He is hanging on the cross.

Judas, if true love never ceases

how could you, my friend, have come to this:

To sell me for thirty silver pieces

and betray me with a kiss?

Judas, remember what I taught you,

do not despair while hanging on the rope.

It's because you sinned that I have sought you;

I came to give you hope.

Judas, let us pray and hang together,

you on your halter, I upon my hill.

Dear friend, even if you loved me never,

you know I love you still.

May God bless you all...