Tales of the Wife

Wordless Wednesday: Me

noreply@blogger.com (Jacqie) — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 15:10:00 +0000

everyday, unfiltered Jacqie...

IHF: Best Face 2011

noreply@blogger.com (Jacqie) — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 12:07:00 +0000

This week on I Heart Faces is the Best Face Photo from 2011. I can't believe how much the three of us have grown throughout this year. Bug will be 2 in two months and my heart smiles every time I hear his little giggle. His current favorites are strawberries, playing pirate (complete with a "GAR HAR HAR"), and imitating big brother.

Check out other entries:

Be New

noreply@blogger.com (Jacqie) — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 22:49:00 +0000

To say 2011 has been the hardest year of my life would be one of the truest statements bouncing around my head. I've been through every last emotion there is. I've been broken, beat down, crushed and over come all of it.

The person I was a year ago and the person I am today are more than worlds apart. I'm stronger, smarter, happier, more confident and more in tune with myself. I'm not saying life is easier by any stretch. In fact, it's more difficult in many aspects. The difference is that I know me. I know I can more than handle this.

My current situation is temporary. I'm in a transition between the life that was not me, the life where I was nothing and forgotten and the life where I'm me, the Jacqie I always wanted to be. Change is hard but sometimes good. The struggle I feel is diminishing, and I will be extraordinary in this life I was given.

So I as I celebrate the arrival of 2012 I look at the future in a positive way. I see all the possibilities and opportunities that lie in front of me. I'm excited for all the good that lies between the small bumps coming.

Wishing you the 2012 of your dreams. I'm ready to reveal the new me. <3

Wordless Wednesday

noreply@blogger.com (Jacqie) — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 16:48:00 +0000

All dressed up to see Santa...

Life List Updated!

noreply@blogger.com (Jacqie) — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 05:40:00 +0000

I just finished washing dishes. It's 12:29 and lunches are packed, kitchen is clean(-ish) and here I sit. I sit here a lot, working mostly. I've overwhelmed myself with things to do. I get run down and frustrated at the situation, but overall I'm so much more free and happy.

No one really expects their life to fall apart. No one wants to climb impossible mountains or walk through thorny paths. I did. It was my goal to get through that as quickly as possible. It was my goal to lift myself and to make myself better for me and the boys. They deserve a happy mom and I deserve to be happy. So, I may not sleep much (sleep is for wussies anyway - that's what I tell myself so I don't mourn the person who used to sleep until noon or so...), but this is temporary. I'm building a life where I'm happy. I'm building a life I can love. I'm building a life where I can be loved.

So, speaking of goals. I revisited my life list and I find it incredible the number of things I at least started on my life list. I thought for sure I'd ignored my goals since I wrote it, working through emotional turmoil and figuring out living on my own. Nope. Turns out the things on my life list are truly the things in my heart.

One big goal of mine that I crossed off was #4: Publish a Photograph. I have the wonderful opportunity of working with the great minds behind Kaia Magazine. They used one of my photos for the cover and another inside. Plus, I there's an ad inside for my photography business! Check it out!

I have recently formed some pretty lofty goals. Reaching for the stars, literally. Keep watching for additions to the life list.

Merry Fluffy Christmas!

noreply@blogger.com (Jacqie) — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 15:21:00 +0000

Check out the 2nd annual Merry Fluffy Christmas event. I'm not participating this year but there are some great green blogs involved like The Eco-Friendly Family, Healthful Mama & The Crunchy Wife and lots of great cloth diapering related prizes.

Get a Melissa & Doug 25% Off Coupon When You Take the North "Poll"

noreply@blogger.com (Jacqie) — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 13:04:00 +0000

Melissa & Doug want you to tell them which of their educational toys you think is the best! Just click on the image below to place your vote in the North "Poll!" You'll Get a Melissa & Doug 25% Off Coupon** to use at MelissaAndDoug.com just for voting!

Just Quiet

noreply@blogger.com (Jacqie) — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 23:49:00 +0000

It's very difficult for me to turn off my brain. I have a to-do list that would take an entire village to complete... first year Chemistry teacher, mom to two awesome boys, photographer, student (taking two classes for re-certification) and many other responsibilities that make it near impossible for me to just turn off.

I drive and I think. I sit and I think. I work and I think. I shower and I think. I eat and I think. I teach and I think. There are very few times when I'm focused on only one thing, or even better NOTHING. I've recently figured out there's only one place I can go and just be.

Outside.

I'm not talking walking down the street or walking to my car or even driving through a woodsy area. That doesn't work. My brain is quiet when I walk deep into the woods or sit by a solemn river or stream or watch the sun set into the mountains with a gentle breeze blowing my hair.

Being outside in the last few weeks reminded me how much I did this as a child and even a teenager. When my parents divorced this was my escape. I'd tromp up through the woods, leaves crunching under my step and just hide. I'd wish and hope and dream in those quiet surroundings and would be happy and at peace. I would gather my emotions there in the Autumn woods. Or, in a silent white snow I would work up courage and resolve to be amazing.

This is the only place where my mind wanders about nothing. My brain can rest and I only think of the gentle breeze, the floating leaves or the sound of the gurgling water. This is where everything is just quiet.

Winner!

noreply@blogger.com (Jacqie) — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 00:23:00 +0000

Thanks, ladies, for your entries! I've been super excited about this giveaway. The winner is #4 Adrienne! Congrats!

Don't forget to shop Shabby Apple and use coupon code talesofthewife10off for 10% off your purchase. Their holiday collection is now available. Coupon is valid until Thursday, November 16th.

A Little Piece of Me {Shabby Apple Giveaway}

noreply@blogger.com (Jacqie) — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 14:09:00 +0000

As I continue to explore my likes and dislikes I stare into my closet and wonder why I wear most of the clothes I have. Honestly, I've purchased very little of my wardrobe. Most of it was given to me for Christmas or Birthdays and I only actually chose some of it myself.

I've made a habit of passing through ladies' departments or going into stores I normally avoided because I wouldn't buy things for myself. Even though I still find it difficult to actually buy something just because I like it, I'm learning more about the clothes that I actually like to wear. One big thing I've noticed is that I have a HUGE dress fetish. I lost my girlishness for more functional, cheaper attire. But, I love wearing dresses. They make me feel pretty and make me feel like me.

Shabby Apple approached me and I was more than thrilled to share information about the women's dresses they carry. Their selection of dresses and skirts includes styles for both modern and vintage tastes. They carry dresses to get you from casual through formal and even have a line of feminine fitness wear.

I'm especially drawn to white dresses at the moment even though the season is all wrong. I'm okay with breaking the rules a bit to make myself happy.

I've also been searching for work worthy dresses and am in love with Shabby Apple's Azure Coast dress. The faux wrap style is flattering on many figures and the color is gorgeous. It's 100% cotton fabric is perfect for no fuss cleaning, which is important for me.

Shabby Apple also carries girls dresses, maternity dresses and accessories.

Save
Shabby Apple is offering readers a coupon code of 10%! Simply use code talesofthewife10off by Wednesday, November 16th.

Giveaway
Shabby Apple is offering the Azure Coast dress for giveaway to a reader of Tales of the Wife!

To enter simply like Shabby Apple on Facebook, leave some love if you like and comment here letting me know that you did so.

U.S. only. Giveaway ends 11/14 at 11:59 p.m. eastern time. Winner will be drawn by random.org and will be contacted by email. Winner has 48 hours to respond or a new winner will be drawn.

I was not compensated for this review. All opinions expressed are my own, honest opinions.

I Heart Faces: Let Them Be Little

noreply@blogger.com (Jacqie) — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 22:34:00 +0000

Crazy in love with these two. Even when they growl at each other.

Just Try

noreply@blogger.com (Jacqie) — Mon, 10 Oct 2011 12:18:00 +0000

After you're with someone for so long you both feel comfortable. The romance fades a little as normal life takes over and you have to impress that person less. You have her. She loves you. Why put in the extra effort that needs to be spent elsewhere?

But, the spark should continue as should the romance because you love that person so much that you can't help but show them and the world how much she means to you. It should be genuine and passionate. Real, raw emotions can be felt and are known just as forced emotions are noticed.

The flame stays lit because you try and she tries. When one person stops trying the flame is snuffed out. Darkness closes in, leaving the other completely alone, still trying but not being seen and not being heard.

Dark. Alone.

Just Fly

noreply@blogger.com (Jacqie) — Wed, 28 Sep 2011 02:02:00 +0000

I've been quiet. Way too quiet. I'm not a quiet person. I haven't been myself for a long, long time. Maybe I've never truly been myself. I've never let go because I was trained to think it didn't matter. I thought that I didn't matter. I do for everyone. I please everyone. And, that's how I feel fulfilled. It's what I've known. It's what I've done.

Not anymore.

Just over a week ago I moved out. On my own. My own apartment. My own bills. My own life. At 28 years old, I never really found myself. (I hate saying that. Sounds so cliche. But, it's the truth.) I never really pushed for myself. My wants and needs were forgotten. I was forgotten.

There comes a point when you're so deep in a black hole that it feels normal. It feels okay. I was lost. I was alone. But, that was normal so there was comfort in it.

Then something makes you look at yourself, deep inside your heart and you realize this isn't enough. I'm more than this. I want to be more than this, and I can be more than this.

You get ONE chance to live your life. One opportunity to be the person you want to be. It's not always easy to take a hold of that and run with it. But, if you free yourself from the chains of everyone's assumptions of you and their desires for your life you can really figure out who you are, what you want and what you need.

You can spread your wings. You can fly. You can soar.

That's what I'm doing. I'm flying. I'm learning to be the best me, the happiest me. And through these actions, I'm teaching my sons so much more than I ever could have had I remained in that comfortable, dark hole.

Don't settle. Don't compromise yourself. Just be awesome at being you.

I couldn't remember...

noreply@blogger.com (Jacqie) — Wed, 07 Sep 2011 01:40:00 +0000

I couldn't remember if I had posted about my new job or not. I looked back and I had mentioned it, yes. That tells you how fried my brain is at the moment. But, here's how it's going now...

The transition was SUPER tough at first. Going from staying at home to putting your babies in a daycare center/pre-school is very difficult. I couldn't help but feel like I was letting them down. I was terrified they would think that I abandoned them and that our bond would be compromised.

I was certain that C, my youngest, would have the biggest issue. He freaks if I turn the corner and he can't see me. On the other hand, big brother runs from me every chance he gets. Seriously, this kid is down the mall lickety split. I was so very wrong.

Of course, C fussed when I left but I expected that. What I did not expect was for my independent 3 year old to cling to my neck and cry and cry and say, "Mommy, go home. Mommy, take it with you." I had to peel him from me after twenty minutes, both of us crying, and attempt to drive away. My heart broke into a million zillion pieces, totally shattered. I cried until lunch. The waterworks wouldn't stop. It was like watching that Chase Credit card commercial while pregnant and hopped up on hormones.

Day by day we managed. Fast forward two weeks... they are transitioning much, much better. D, my 3 year old, even told a sad little girl in class today that "Mommy come back. Mommy go work." Now, that makes my heart swell. He's getting too big.

So how about mom? I miss staying in bed and laying around in my pajamas and playing all day. Who wouldn't?!? But, I am glad that my kids are reaping the benefits of socialization that goes along with being in daycare. D's vocabulary has exploded and he's speaking in many more sentences than he was a month ago.

And, I'm also glad I have more time to be me and explore my huge passion for teaching. My students are doing wonders for that passion and brighten my early mornings. I'm so very happy right now with my job and am incredibly lucky to be able to say that. Of course there are obstacles. I'm totally stressed out keeping up, and the textbooks look like they're older than my parents and completely turn me off. (Imagine what they do to the kids!) That just means I turn on my creative side and hook these kids in a different manner.

Today, I'm handling life and I'm handling it well.

Muck

noreply@blogger.com (Jacqie) — Thu, 01 Sep 2011 02:51:00 +0000

The boys are adjusting as expected to being at their pre-school. I get sad faces in the morning, but they have a blast during the day. My 3 year old's language and vocabulary have exploded, and I couldn't be prouder of the awesome person he's growing to be.

Me? Not so much. I'm hurting. Bad. I really like this job so far. The faculty and students are awesome. I'm teaching a subject I love. But, my heart aches.

2 days in

noreply@blogger.com (Jacqie) — Wed, 24 Aug 2011 02:05:00 +0000

I went back to work yesterday, a full time position as a Chemistry teacher. While I'm super excited about science, it's difficult to sift through everything right now and be amazing as a teacher. I'm pulling through it because I want to give these kids opportunities to love science as I love science.

Second day back at work, and I'm dead tired. No wonder people drink pots of coffee to perk up. Anyway, today I was peed on, clung to, cried for and falling apart by 9 a.m. Hardest.thing.ever. But I know who I am and I know why I need to continue on. I don't give up. I fight and push and carry on. I'm determined, and I will get where I need to be.

Hoping for an easier day 3 but ready for it to be just as mucky.

Soap Hope {Review}

noreply@blogger.com (Jacqie) — Tue, 16 Aug 2011 14:45:00 +0000

If you're searching for a place that carries eco-friendly bath, body and home products, look no further than Soap Hope. They carry premium brands such as Badger, Pangea Organics, Klean Kanteen and BioKleen.

Ready to hear the best part? Soap Hope invests 100% of its profits every year into anti-poverty non-profits. These organizations use the funds to provide loans, training, literacy, health care, and other services to women in poverty. This approach can permanently lift whole communities from poverty, providing families with the resources and skills they need to be self sufficient. This program is called "Good Returns."

Every dollar of profit earned by a "Good Returns" company goes to a nonprofit institution to help empower women. Soap Hope's goal is to help lift women out of poverty. Their mission is to give ambitious women all over the globe the opportunity to support themselves and their families.

How do you help? By shopping at Soap Hope, successful women can help support developing women by making your purchase through their online store.

Some of the products they carry include the Pangea Organics line, which is quickly becoming a favorite of mine. The Japanese Matcha Tea Mask hydrates and renews balance for your face. The Balancing Oil is rich in antioxidants, fatty acids and vitamins. It's not as heavy as you would expect, which worked well for my skin.

Soap Hope carries a wide variety of bar soaps, such as the Organic Cedarwood soap and the Wild Honey Oat soap. The soaps contain no artificial preservatives, fragrances, colors, parabens or other harmful chemicals. All products are cruelty-free.

Soap Hope is currently having a special on mineral make-up. Buy $20 of Mahya Cosmetics mineral make-up and receive your purchase with a $20 voucher for $20 on your next purchase of make-up. Use coupon code MYA204.

You can check out Soap Hope's Deals for other coupon codes. They're also offering free shipping on orders over $35 and percentage discounts on lotions and Badger products.

Soap Hope ships their products in an "ugly box" which is a box made from cardboard scraps. No unnecessary extra packaging, just re-used cardboard.

Follow Soap Hope on Facebook and Twitter to connect with eco-conscious families and for product recommendations.

Two in Diapers... Still

noreply@blogger.com (Jacqie) — Thu, 28 Jul 2011 15:37:00 +0000

This isn't your average potty learning post. Honestly, I'm supposed to be working, but talking about parenting is a little more important right now.

Poot turned 3 last month and still wears diapers. Sometimes, he asks to wear them. Sometimes, he runs around naked. Sometimes, he will sit and use the little potty. Most of the time, I don't care. I said it. My 3 year old is in diapers, and I don't care. At some point in time, yes, he should use the toilet. However, this is a phase. Everything is a phase.

He's 3. He's learning to exert his independence. I want to teach him to make choices on his own, preferably good ones. If I do not let him make the decision and instead tell him what to do then I'm teaching him that I'm in charge. I'm teaching him that he should live to please me.

Let's be honest, certain things he does make me happy and other behaviors do not. However, he is not on this Earth to serve me and make me happy. That is not his responsibility. Right now his responsibility is to play and enjoy his childhood. I will not take that from him.

Sure he will make mistakes but it's from those mistakes he will learn to make good decisions. He will learn that it's okay to fail as long as you pick yourself up and learn from that experience.

Being a dictator does not work with an irrational 3 year old. Instead give them choices that both you and he can live with. Let go a little... bake cookies... dance in the rain... after all he's only 3 for 365 days. Actually, I'm cheating this year and keeping him 3 for one day longer.

P.S. It's leap year next year. ;)

I'm still here!

noreply@blogger.com (Jacqie) — Wed, 20 Jul 2011 00:15:00 +0000

I'm around. Promise! Just working on a few things, such as...

Shooting a wedding

Doctor's appointments galore and tubes for Bug =(

More of 100 days of summer on Pinterest

Balloon Release for my littlest niece Morgan Marie

Getting psyched for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2

Hanging out at the Farmer's Market. There's this little old lady who never gives me correct change but I love her raspberries so we just deal with paying a bit more.

What activities are filling your summer days?

Summer Skincare {Review}

noreply@blogger.com (Jacqie) — Thu, 30 Jun 2011 16:02:00 +0000

Summer. Playing outside. Sunshine. Days at the beach. Heat. Field trips. Adventures. Summer.

We may go to the lake. We may go to the zoo. We may go to the pool. We may go fishing. No matter where we go, I know how important proper skincare is for both my boys and myself.

First, using a great sunscreen is important when the sun is beating down on you. EcoMom carries a great variety of eco-friendly products, including Dr. T's Supergoop. I'm picky about what I put on my kids, but Dr. T's Supergoop passes the test. By taking your child's health seriously you must also take a hard look at what you put on him.

Dr. T's Supergoop is formulated in conjunction with the stringent standards set forth by Healthy Child Healthy World, whose non-profit mission is to inspire parents to protect their family from exposure to harmful chemicals. It is our mission to educate and help safely incorporate sun protection into your family's daily routine, 365 days a year.

Dr. T's sunscreen products are rate 1-3 in the EWG's cosmetic database which rates products based on the hazardous potential of their chemical ingredients.

I throw a tube of this in the diaper bag and keep an extra in my car. We use this sunscreen for days spent swimming at the lake and building sandcastles on the beach. My kids have been fully protected, and their sensitive skin is unaffected by the ingredient. Dr. T's Supergoop is recommended for babies aged 4 months and older.

Also important are the products we use on our own faces. (Moms are important too!) Sweat, dirt and pollutants can make a mess of your face. Using an exfoliating mask will help remove the grit and will leave your skin feeling refreshed.

EcoMom carries a line of Pangea Organics products for moms as an approach to more Ecocentric skincare. The Janpanese Matcha Tea Facial Mask is skillfully blended to incorporate a holistic approach to beautiful skin, our mask includes a diversity of sustainable elements.

Goji berry in this mask has anti-aging properties and restores nutrients to your skin. Acai revitalizes your skin, and overall the mask makes your skin feel softer and look more even. While the smell was strong (not bad, just stronger than I expected) I was more than pleased with how it made my skin feel.

Check out the other Pangea products carried at EcoMom.com.

I was sent samples of these products to review. No other compensation was requested or offered. This review is of my own honest opinions.

Wordless Wednesday: The Pond

noreply@blogger.com (Jacqie) — Wed, 29 Jun 2011 16:54:00 +0000

100 days of summer!

noreply@blogger.com (Jacqie) — Fri, 24 Jun 2011 03:27:00 +0000

If I wasn't completely involved with caring for a sick baby right now, I'd be totally obsessed with Pinterest. (What's Pinterest? A bookmarking site where you organize all the great things you find on the internet.) I can, however, let my Pinterest friends do the work for me. Here's a great board they found: 100 days of summer. There are 100 activities to do starting with a recipe for sea salted caramel. As you could, guess I'm behind so I skipped days 1 and 2 and went to day three: Watermelon Waffles!

What? Watermelons aren't square? Don't tell my kids... There are some seriously cute ideas! Can't wait for day 64!

Dear Declan

noreply@blogger.com (Jacqie) — Fri, 17 Jun 2011 00:33:00 +0000

Dear Declan,

Today you are 3! THREE! I can't believe you're already three. I also can't think of a time that you weren't here with me.

Three years ago at this very moment I was so very close to meeting you. The nurse was asking if I wanted drugs, which I declined. The room was spinning. I couldn't catch my breath. The pain was intense and like nothing I'd ever felt. However, I knew it wouldn't last forever. I knew there was an end in sight, so I focused on thoughts of your little face.

You came into this world and were placed directly on my chest. The pain stopped. The commotion around me disappeared. I would have held you there forever.

You were born in the night, and we were up all that night. That should have been a clue as to how your first two years would go. As a newborn you would only sleep on my chest. I obliged. I never meant to co-sleep, but it happened, for two years. I wouldn't change that. Ever.

Breastfeeding was difficult. You didn't latch correctly at first, but we figured it out. We battled that bad latch, resistant thrush, painful vasospasm, foremilk/hindmilk imbalance, dairy sensitivity, overactive letdown, clogged ducts and your obsession with the right side. However, you nursed for nineteen months. I wouldn't change that. Ever.

I used to rock you to sleep at night. I'd rock for an hour or more and hold you and sing. And when you screamed bloody murder because you didn't want to lay in the crib, we put you in a bed. I would lay in the toddler bed with you for an hour or so, singing, until you were asleep. I wouldn't change that. Ever.

You're starting to speak in sentences. You're super independent. You tell me, "No. Stop it". (Wonder where you got that from...) You like to wear underwear but hate using the potty. You love to color and paint and draw... on the walls. You're a great assistant chef. You love to climb and run and jump. You're a dare devil. You're happiest when you're outdoors. You're the best big brother ever. You're a little lover under your tough shell. I wouldn't change that. Ever.

You see, buddy, when you smile, I smile. When you giggle, I giggle. You are my "twinkle star". I am so very proud of you, who you are and who you will become.

My wish for you on your third birthday and for the rest of your life is that you know unconditional love, that you never feel alone and that you find happiness in everything you do.

Happy Birthday, Little Angel!

Love,
Mommy

Life Strikes Again

noreply@blogger.com (Jacqie) — Fri, 10 Jun 2011 01:16:00 +0000

Well, I was going to blog about how I completed #79 on my life list and include a well thought out photograph. However, if one thing fails in my life they all fail at the same time...

My computer stopped reading the compact flash card from my camera yesterday evening. Great. I figured it was the card. Nope. Loads onto Hubs' computer, a little slow but the images are there.

I turn to Google. I talk to a friend. A pin is bent inside the reader. Okay... Let's try an external card reader. Doesn't work with that card. Try a new card. Pictures load but the files are only half there. Fantastic.

I'm shooting a wedding tomorrow... wahoo... but I NEED these new CF cards I ordered from Amazon. I live in the woods and the trek to "the mall" left with me cards that aren't as big as I need them. Sigh. I didn't even buy the cards I was so ticked. Hubs is out getting them now.

So, here's the photo I got with my gimpy card. Kind of the story of my life right now... most of the pieces are missing. Can you make out what I painted on Poot's wall?

Moral of the story: Don't buy cheap memory cards (Kingston, which I've never had trouble with) from Amazon. Go SanDisk or go home.

Writer's Block

noreply@blogger.com (Jacqie) — Mon, 06 Jun 2011 19:59:00 +0000

To say I have nothing to write would be a lie. I have loads that I could write about. My writer's block is a bit different than the traditional I don't know what to write.

The hurt in my heart clouds my head. I can't think straight because inside I'm scared and I'm confused. I get overwhelmed and stressed more easily and I close up.

I'm not slacking on the writing because I don't like to write or because I don't love to blog. I appreciate every single one of you out there who thinks I'm interesting enough to follow and those of you that peep in on me from time to time.

Know that I'm working on it. Know that I'm trying. Know that I have beautiful and wonderful things in my head that I hope to one day get out.

In the mean time, I'm focusing on my babies, and I'm focusing on photography. Those are two things that I have that help me find focus (literally...).