Talking Fingers – Tales from Borneo

Bornean Bald Laughing-Thrush (Melanocichla calva)...the unexpected find

noreply@blogger.com (Zaiton Yunus) — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 02:26:00 +0000

I wanted it from the first moment I laid eyes on its illustration in the first edition of Phillipps' Field Guide to the Birds of Borneo. Such an ambitious wishful thinking on my part I guessed. I mean, who wouldn't. Wouldn't you?

Given of its rarity, I told myself "never know". Well, I told myself that all the time. My sort of confidence booster I guessed. I would sometimes told my hubby that I'm just gonna root myself at my favorite spot and let the birds come to me, hahaha. Lazy, no. It's just that my feet sometimes refused to obey my command.

And the "never know" situation greeted me unexpectedly on my recent trip to KNP.
An unexpected find on a chillingly windy day.

Its red beak was so distinguishable even from a far. I was just lucky enough to get record shots of it before it disappeared.

Like I said, these are just record shots.
This translates to...
I need to meet up with this fella again to get better shots.
And again, like I said before...
"never know" ;)

The quest for the Hooked-billed bulbul...

noreply@blogger.com (Zaiton Yunus) — Sat, 08 Oct 2011 04:00:00 +0000

22 January 2011
Klias Peatswamp Field Centre, Beaufort

God!
I thought I almost died from exhaustion.
It was very hot.
It was high noon.
Hubby and I were on the 3km long boardwalk within the Klias Peatswamp Field Centre.
We met up with the rest of the gang at the Bird Tower before going the opposite way.
We almost reached the circular shelter when I heard hubby talking on the phone with Jay, "hooked-billed bulbul, ok-ok, the place just now, ok-ok".

We turned around immediately.
Hubby started to run. I started to walk briskly. I'm not light on my feet.
He kept looking behind while running. I signalled him to just move ahead.
I no longer see him. I practically dragged my feet.
A few more feet. A few more feet. That's what I kept telling myself during that long walk, a 100 metre walk to the next shelter.

I thought they will be at the Bird Tower but no one was in sight.
I was almost reduced to tears coz it's been a while since I do some walking.
In an attempt to trick my mind, I looked at my feet while walking instead of looking at the long boardwalk.

Upon reaching one of the corners of the boardwalk, I could hear laughter. Loud and clear laughter. That can only mean one thing. The bird is no longer there and the gang are looking at each other's camera in an attempt to best out everyone else's photos.
And I thought, "Geezz, there goes my opportunity".

I noticed that hubby did not joined in the gang's merriment and when I asked "got it?", he shook his head confirming my suspicion.

Frustration seeping in, I leaned against the wooden railing, closed my eyes and took heaps and heaps of long slow breathing. Slowly in, slowly out. I thought I was going to pass out by then.

Then all of a sudden, George called out, he sighted the Hooked billed bulbul again. Mustering all the strength I had left, I quickly dash to George. I had difficulty pinpointing the location of the bird, my eyes were still burned out from the heat of the sun. The only thing I could do is to look out at the leaves' movement. And then I saw it, perching quite far away. "Record shot, at least a record shot", was what I told myself over and over again.

And these are my record shots of this elusive bird...

If not for Seng who had posted this bird photo in his facebook, Hooked bill bulbul, I guessed we would not have this bird in our collection that soon...

Seng...our beloved friend and brother...
taken away much too soon from us...
without saying a word...
without bidding us farewell...

Seng...
this posting is dedicated to your memory...
rest peacefully in your eternal sleep Lil' brother...

Another lifer...the Whitehead's spiderhunter

noreply@blogger.com (Zaiton Yunus) — Wed, 23 Feb 2011 02:53:00 +0000

If not for Jay, I don't think I would be able to see them this soon, let alone photograph them.

But luck is on our side that day. I couldn't believed it when Jay hollered 'spiderhunter' to hubby and started pointing his hand to the top of the fruiting tree.

I squinted my eyes trying to locate their movements coz by that time the sky was overcast and the rain somehow picked that very moment to start drizzling. My heart started to race faster and I think I even willed the rain not to pour as this is the first time I've seen this most elusive bird. Ignoring the gloomy sky and the cottonish background, I started to shoot at will.

I'm not proud of these photos but I just could not refrain myself from sharing my accomplishment.

Please be warned though. These record shots were heavily cropped and tweaked.

Whitehead's spiderhunter (Arachnothera juliae)

Good...not even close...
Proud...oh oookay...just a little bit...
Relief...a definite yes...
And Jay, least I forgot to thank you...
Yeah, yeah...I could hear it...Teh C Ping...
Thank you my friend...
You're the man...:D

A beautiful lifer...the Long-tailed broadbill

noreply@blogger.com (Zaiton Yunus) — Tue, 22 Feb 2011 08:52:00 +0000

Of late we would normally travel in a group of people but on this particular trip, there's only hubby and myself, and this translates to only 2 pair of eyes to spot the birds and only 2 sets of ears to hear and distinguish their callings and singing. We are greatly at a disadvantage I'm afraid. Unperturbed, we can only hope that the feathered ones would grant us an audience.

The Long-tailed broadbill and the Whitehead's Spiderhunter are the star birds that has been on my wish list for since so long and Tambunan has graciously granted this wish. It was not an easy accomplishment I have to admit. Well, bird photography never is and never will. That being said, so, please do excuse us if we are a bit 'protective' with our precious photos as we put out our sweat and blood for them, seriously...

And only on the 3rd attempt...
on the 3rd sightings...
on the 3rd trip to Tambunan this month...
Only then I managed to get decent shots of this beautiful lifer...
...the Long-tailed broadbill (Psarisomus dalhousiae)

Decent shots, yes...
Good shots, not yet...
Killer shot, wishful thinking...
One does not need to be a rocket scientist to guess where we're going this weekend...:D

Inflight Practice Shot...Again...

noreply@blogger.com (Zaiton Yunus) — Tue, 11 Jan 2011 06:59:00 +0000

It's been a while since I last blogged...
April 2010 to be precised...
Hhhmmm...if that could aptly described 'a while'...:D

It was a day after Christmas...
Hubby was early to rise...
I was also early to wake but I refused to rise...
My lazy bone ruled that morning...

The moment I woke up, hubby asked me if I wanted to follow him to look for the Tufted Duck...
Our friend Jay is already at the pond looking for them he told me...
Being away from birding for a long period, and with no apparent plan for the day, what better way to waste the day off...
And a good opportunity to test my new assault weapon...
the 7D...courtesy of Mr J...:D

I was quite disappointed tho...
The Tufted Duck decided not to grant me with an audience...
And the sun...oh my...the sun was unmercifully bright and blinding...
The heat from the asphalt road was unforgiving...
And the pesky mosquitoes are most unwanted...

I was standing in front of Jay, squinting my eyes through the heat...
He was looking through his bino when I noticed a shadow on the water...
I looked up and thought it was the Egret...
But it's a bit small, was what I thought...
I kept on taking my eyes off the eye piece just to locate the flying bird...
Then I heard Jay said...'wow, it's the tern'...
I gunned the shutter button furiously then...
The tern was circling away crazily...it was feeding on the insects on the pond's surface...
I kept on gunning the shutter button until I felt I could not pressed it any more...
I thought there's something wrong with my camera...
I thought I have maxed out the CF card...
Then I heard Jay said...'push your ISO'...he must have noticed that I am not clicking anymore...

It's not easy...hubby said...shooting white object...
The camera got confused...Jay added...
Phewwww...what a mightly relief that was to me...
It was not the camera at fault after all...
It was my limited technology knowhow...:D

Some of my shots of the Whiskered Tern (Chlidonias hybrida)...

I'm taking a liking to it you know...
Taking inflight shots...
All I have to do is practice...
Practice makes perfect...
That's what hubby always told me...
He walks the talk...
His work says it all...
Nothing but the best for him...
Nothing but the best for a perfectionist...

Inflight practice shots...

noreply@blogger.com (Zaiton Yunus) — Fri, 16 Apr 2010 04:01:00 +0000

Self : I think it's your forte...
Hubby : What...
Self : Taking inflights...how do you do it...
Hubby : Practice...

Practice...
One word...
Which is easier said than done...
Not on hubby's part tho, but most definitely on yours truly...

Sometimes I would just watch him taking shots of the birds when they're airborne...
I told myself, they're just too fast for my camera...
Come to think of it, I told myself a lot of things...
Yeah, that's me...full of excuses...
Whining, complaining, sighing...
That's definitely my forte...:D

So, one day I find myself not whining, not complaining and not sighing...
I was on the verandah of our hotel lodge...waiting for my turn to use the bathroom...watching the swallows flying crazily on their morning feed...
Normally I would just watch them...
But that morning I was not normal...
I grabbed my camera and practice shooting them inflight...

White-breasted Woodswallow (Artamus leucorhynchus)

...too fast...

...after a few attempts...

...following and focusing is mighty difficult to do...

...have to be satisfied with this...not a clean and clear shot...

...kame hame ha...Son Goku great ball of fire...hahahaha...

...my last shot...

Was I happy...a little bit...
Was I content...not yet...
How can I be happy...
How can I be content...

Have you seen hubby's work...Amazing Birds of Borneo
You'll be the judge...
For me...
I rest my case...
...for the time being...

The winter visitor...Mugimaki Flycatcher (Ficedula mugimaki)...

noreply@blogger.com (Zaiton Yunus) — Sun, 11 Apr 2010 08:05:00 +0000

Hubby : Let's look for the Mugimaki...
Self : They're here already?
Hubby : Should be...

Without really specifically looking for the Mugimaki Flycatcher, I've decided to stroll around the back of the Liwagu Restaurant. That was where I saw it first, I think it was in 2008. Like I said, I wasn't really looking for it, but then, just in case.

I was standing near the little manmade pond when I noticed something on the ground nearby. I found the Mugimaki Flycatcher, but it was not a good find I'm afraid.

...the end of the journey for this little fella...

After stumbling upon the carcass in last November, I never saw any of it but hubby did tho. It was only in March I had the chance of seeing it. I guessed to have the chance on sighting this winter visitor is not something that everyone have the luxury of. And for me, trying to get its image into my camera is tough task to say the least. They are but a very shy creature and very fleety. They loved to perch up high and that did not spell good to me, not with my 55-250mm lens.

So when I did chance upon it, I tried to remember all the tips that hubby told me...all the do's and all the don'ts...
These are what I could managed...
These are what this winter visitor permits me to capture...

The female Mugimaki Flycatcher...
I like her...
She's a bit friendly...

...perching just up above me on the wire...

...I aimed my camera between two bamboos...I think this is the last time I'm going to see him this year...

They are a joy to watch...
Thank you little ones...
It's been a pleasure...
Till we meet again...
Safe journey...

She saved the day...

noreply@blogger.com (Zaiton Yunus) — Sun, 21 Feb 2010 10:06:00 +0000

Of late it is becoming a trend.
An undesirable trend.
A worrying trend.
It worried me that we have wasted the day.
It worried me that we would go home empty handed.
That's the worst part.

Of late, the morning part of the day would be spend walking, walking and walking most of the time.
Except for the small birds that always did the high fly over, the park is quiet.
Quite. Hmmm, this word is kind of a standard word nowadays.
Not a good word. Really not good.

On Friday night, hubby told me that he wanted to go inside the Mempening Trail.
Considering the less activities of the birds in the morning part, I decided to follow him.
I don't really like to go deep into the trail.
My feet are not that strong. And I don't really have the stamina to go up and down. If it's a flat trail, I'm all game.
"We walk slowly ok" that's what I told hubby.

And what a walk in the jungle that was.
It was a long walk.
Long and quiet walk.

After lunch I told hubby that I would root myself at my favourite spot, the river.
I told him that I would not be doing any more walking.
I just wanted to sit there and wait for the birds to come to me, I told him in jester.

By 2.30pm, the frustration started seeping in.
One word came to mind.
A dreadful word.
"KILAR"
Not a friendly word.

Then I spotted the Indigo Flycatcher. A pair of them.
I was hoping that they would come down to bathe.
Unfortunately they decided to dash my hope and flew away.
Feeling a bit crush, I suddenly heard the Borneon Stubtail calling.
I rushed over to the nearby underbrush and I saw it. Not it, but them.
I hid behind the big fallen tree and tried to get a shot.
Too small, too fast, too bushy and too dark.
Then all of a sudden, another movement surprised me.
It was the female White-Browed Shortwing.
I was caught by surprise.
She was just in front of me and we looked at each other.
Then suddenly a treeshrew passed in front of her.
I momentarily lost my concentration.
Thinking that she would have fled, I turned again quickly to try and locate her and to my surprise she was still there.
There's the Borneon Stubtail.
There's the White-Browed Shortwing.
"Concentrate on what you want and forget about the others"...I remembered what hubby told me.
The choice is very clear.

White-Browed Shortwing (Brachypteryx montana)...
My first photos after acquiring the Canon 40D from hubby...
Terrible composition...
Difficult shots...

It would have been a dreadful day...
But she saved the day...
At the nick of time...

Crimson-Headed Partridge (Haematortyx sanquiniceps)...

noreply@blogger.com (Zaiton Yunus) — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 04:00:00 +0000

The commonest my foot! Well, don't mind that, that's just frustration talking...

Self : “The commonest partridge in Forest at Kinabalu National Park Headquarters”…they said it’s the commonest at the Headquarters!…How come we don’t see it always…like the Indigo Flycatcher, or the Borneon Flowerpecker or the Jungle Flycatcher…
Hubby : Maybe because they are commonly heard around here…
Self : Okayyyyy...

Obviously I did not do my reading and not until I read "A Photographic Guide to the Birds of Mt Kinabalu by Hitoshi Nakayasu, Shigeru Asama and Alim Biun"...the distinctive loud calls of this partridge are heard around the Park Headquarters every morning, but the bird itself remains on the ground and seldom emerges from the dense undergrowth. In addition, is shy, and thus rarely seen...only then I go easy with myself.

But still. That did not stop my annoyance from biting hard on me. The fact that the Crimson- Headed Partridge is a montane endemic to Borneo did not pacify my disappointment rather it aggravated my annoyance more. If I did not chance upon it I would not be dissatisfied with myself that much.

But I did stumble upon it.
Not once.
Not twice.
But four times.
Not one partridge.
But a pair of them.
Would you blame me then for being annoying with myself?

First encounter...October 2009...
I was on the trail alone. I normally would not follow hubby to look for the Whitehead Trogon.
I saw something came up from the riverbank.
I zoomed my camera to the max.
It disappeared just as fast as it appeared.

Second encounter...
I was not on the trail.
I was waiting for the Whitebrowed Shortwing.
Suddenly it appeared out of nowhere.
But the undergrowth was just too thick.
I only got very blurry undistinguished photo.
I deleted it.

Third encounter...December 2009...
I was on the trail again...alone.
Suddenly I saw it from afar...facing towards me.
Again I zoomed my camera to the max.

I was taking my eye off the view finder when something popped up in front of me.
Another one just came up from the riverbank.
"No wonder" I thought...the other one might be waiting for the partner to come up.
I was shaking with excitement...I kneeled down.
My forefinger was trembling while clicking at the shutter button.
I became lightheaded.
Did they see me? Please don't see me, I prayed...
I think they did see me...But still they did not fly away...
I then tried my very best not to spook them...

The one in front of me started to move towards the other one.
I stooped and followed as slowly as I can.
They just can't stop moving.
And I just can't stop long enough to get a good and steady shots.

Hubby : You should push your ISO to 800...
Self : I just could not remember anything...everything went out of the window...
Hubby : You must remember that if you want sharper shots...

Fourth encounter...January 2010...
We decided to look and wait for the partridge.
Hubby was behind me when I heard him, "ppsssttt"...
I turned around and saw him pointing to his left.
My God! There they were, walking and skulking right next to us.
We took our position and started to crouch, waiting for them to come closer to the trail.
They would have noticed us by then but still they seemed to take their own sweet time looking for food.
I started to back off, zooming my camera in and out.
It was mighty difficult to get a clear shot what with the bushy undergrowth.

I was backing off when I saw it coming my way.
I stopped when I felt my heel on the edge of the riverbank.
There was nothing else I could do but clicked my camera.
I felt like it smacked right in front of my face, that was how close it was to me.

I guessed he thought that we were too close for comfort and make a detour.
It turned around and went back inside the bush.
By then, taking shots is pretty impossible.
We followed for a while until they decided to hop onto the trail.
This is the only good shot I could take.
It irked me when I did not see hubby taking shots at it.
"Why are you not taking photos" I said..."I was videotaping it" was his answer...http://amazingborneo.blogspot.com/2010/01/crimson-headed-patridge-haematortyx.html

I'm still not satisfied...
I'm still looking out for them...
I'm waiting for them to turn up...
...still...

A Lifer Indeed...Tawny-breasted parrotfinch...

noreply@blogger.com (Zaiton Yunus) — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 01:54:00 +0000

Last saturday...6 Feb 2010...

Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!
Not again.
Four phrases.
Constantly playing in my mind, over and over again, like a broken old record.

I was so very afraid that it would be a repeat of last week, it looked like it.
Quiet. Windy. Chill-to-the-bone-breeze. Quiet. Quiet. Quiet. And quiet.
Geez! I even managed to doze off. Not once tho. But a few times.

It was slightly past 12.30 noon when I rang hubby to bring him to lunch. That's considered quiet early. Well, I mean what better to do than have lunch when one has not even fire a single shot since after breakfast. At least I have something to think about. Get the mind to work a bit. Like, think what shall I have for lunch. Talk about pathetic, wooohhhh.

I have the mind to bring hubby home considering the situation. I was not in a jolly mood I'm afraid. That's what the quietness and the chilliness do to oneself. It gets on one's nerves. We just finished lunch and I was arranging my lines to hubby when I turned my head to the right and saw a familiar face.

I could feel my gloomy face broke into a wide smile. I nudged hubby, "It's Encik Alim". We quickly shook hand with him and then I headed off straight to our car. I needed to get something from the car. I have this unfinished business with Encik Alim.

...my unfinished business...I forgot to get his autograph for his book...I had brought it with me a few times not knowing that I would met up with him one day...I am very proud of this book...proud because without his assistance and knowledge, this book would not have materalized...a fitting contribution I guessed for our local talent...one of the pioneer in this field...it is always a pleasure to hang around with the experts..like hanging around with our Birder friend Jason...you get to learn more...you get that extra eyes and ears...;)

...'checklist updating'...wow, that's big..."How I wished I could update you with something out of the ordinary Encik Alim, that would really be something" came to mind when I read his autograph...

I was standing next to hubby when he pulled out the book to look at what Encik Alim's has scribbled when I heard a sound. A faint sound. Then from the corner of my right eyes, I saw something drop on the rock. My first thought was that it was a fallen leave. A deceiving movement. Deceving coz one would thought that it's a bird. We have that most of the time as a result of the strong wind.

I did not take my eyes off the spot tho and then no sooner I saw something moving...

Self : Hey, there's a bird...

Hubby : Where, where...

Self : (pointing my camera)...on the rock...is it the shortwing (talking to myself)...

Hubby : Where, where...

Self : Oh my God! Oh my God! It's green...It's green...can you see it...can you see it...

Tawny-breasted Parrotfinch (Erythrura hyperythra) - female

First Appearance
...it was playing hide and seek with us...poking it's head behind the rock...

...I followed her from the other side of the stream...I was praying very hard...'don't fly off'...'don't fly off'...'stay put'...'stay put'...

...kept on hopping from rock to rock...

Self : What was that...

Hubby : Parrotfinch...

Self : Category?

Hubby : Not sure...

We just could not wait to get our hands on the guide book. We lingered for a while hoping for it to make another appearance. But we only heard her call.

While making our last round before going home, I decided to go back to that spot. I was waiting for the Indigo Flycatcher, if I'm lucky I would get it bathing yet again was what I was thinking.

I sure did not expect to hear that new familiar sound again. But I did and I heard it twice before quickly unlodging my backpack to the ground and stay very still. I squint my eyes to get a better view and there she was, right before my eyes.

I kneeled and started gunning the shutter button. I took my BB out and rang hubby. He did not answer. I called again. Still he did answer. And still he did not call me back. And when he did call, I gritted my teeth answering him. I was angry coz I wanted him to be there to get the photo. His lens is much more reliable than mine was. His hands were much more steadier than mine were.

Second Appearance

We were on our way to KK to get me an external drive on Sunday when hubby sms Encik Alim on our find...I was behind the wheel when hubby read Encik Alim's return message...

When Encik Alim said the bird is very rare...
...I was grinning from ear to ear...
When Encik Alim said no one has photograph it yet...
...my grin went right to the back of my head...
I am still you know...
...grinning...:D

3, 2 ,1...Action...

noreply@blogger.com (Zaiton Yunus) — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 09:00:00 +0000

My 'got landslide at Ranau' was answered with 'one lane is still passable' by hubby. One could hardly deny his enthusiasm when it comes to birding. And I was not expecting any less from him.

Saturday, 5 December 2009...

Hubby : Called Alphon, asked him where the landslide is...

Self : (on the phone)...where's the landslide...
Alphon : ...about 3 kilometres from the junction to Kota Belud...
Self : Where are you now...
Alphon : ...at Bundu Tuhan...it's raining and foggy...

Hmmm...that is not a good sign. Not a good sign at all. A definite no no for photography.

In anticipation to the landslide and also a warning from Alphon pertaining to traffic congestion nearing the landslide site, we departed early from Tuaran than usual. Even the canteen has not opened when we arrived. It was drizzling and the dreaded thick fog did not seem to want to go away any sooner.

We were having our breakfast when we heard loud bird sound...

Self : Magpie or the treepie...
Hubby : Magpie...
Self : They sounded very near...
Hubby : Yeah...
Alphon : Sometimes they are not that near...they sounded near as they are very loud...

While hubby and Alphon was dilly dallying, I finished my Maggi quickly and rushed behind the hall. I was thinking that maybe, just maybe the magpies are nearby as they are just too loud. I held up my head all the time, trying to locate the sound. They sounded just too close for comfort. The fog was of no help at all and I have to squint my eyes harder for clearer vision.

Then I caught a movement from up high. I saw a pair of them sort of fighting each other off. I quickly aimed my camera and started gunning the shutter button.

With my forefinger pressing down hard on the shutter button, I yelled at the top of my lungs for hubby and Alphon, my voice echoing around the park...

Self : Hurry up, hurry up...there's two of them...they're eating something...
Self : Hurryyyyy uppppppp...not two...there's four of them...

As expected the images are not of the high quality ones, didn't even come close. But I enjoyed myself nonetheless as it is not always everyday that one would came across the opportunities watching the antics of the feathered ones.

Short-tailed Magpie (Cissa thalassina)

...saw a pair of them...they had their back on me...

...I still could not make out what they're up to...

...a tug of war ensued...I thought it was a snake...

...until I saw the claw...I think it was a gecko...

...survival of the fittest...

...the agony of defeat...I think...for now...

...anddddddd...
cut...

His and hers...

noreply@blogger.com (Zaiton Yunus) — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 06:45:00 +0000

21 November 2009.
A date that was eagerly awaited.
The Saturday that we impatiently looked forward to.

Ever since we got word of it, there was not a single day that we did not talk about it. We were like kids waiting to open our presents on Christmas day. We could not wait for each day to end. We could not wait for each day to start.

Upon reaching KNP...

Self : Ohhh (disappointed)...he's not here yet...did you call him...
Hubby : No, I just SMS him...

We were waiting for our good buddy Mr Alphonsus Loinsang.
The bearer of the good news.
The person responsible for delivering the 'package'.

...Alphonsus Loinsang a.k.a the Beastmaster...

Saturday, 21 November 2009, is the day Aphon personally delivered to hubby his new toy...
...his new toy to play with during our photography excursion...
...his new 'assault weapon'...

...Canon EOS 7D...

Saturday, 21 November 2009, is also the day I received my new toy...

...my new 'assault weapon'...

...the hands-me-down from hubby...

...Canon EOS 40D...

...two good buddies...two different gadgets...

...the Eyebrowed Jungle Flycatcher captured with 40D...

I have yet to hear any complaints from hubby on his new acquisition. Despite the negative and unfriendly reviews that were thrown at the EOS 7D, hubby was very optimistic towards it. I was not surprised at all at his decision knowing full well that he is one who loves to go against the flow of things. Against all odds, I believed he wanted to prove his unfaltering confidence in the brand. So far, it has not failed him yet.

I could not say the same about me tho. Still complaining. Still grumbling. "I need to get a lense like yours...mine is slowing me down"...repeated over and over again to which hubby would only nodded his agreement.

Was I in for a surprise on our way home 2 nights ago...

Hubby : I think you should get 7D also...trade in the 40D...
Self : (not blinking...not answering)...
Hubby : What say you...
Self : (swallowing saliva)...10K!!!!!...awww...that hurts...

I'm scratching a non-existing itch on my head as we talked. I started to stare unblinkingly at the dark long road to home. Temptation aside, I have to be realistic tho. But not before wishing that money would drop from the sky at that very instant. I would have to make do with what my financial limit permits me. Let me just sleep on it this year. Next year might be a different matter altogether.

So, in the mean time...

this his and hers...
has pleased him and her...
they are content with their thingamajiggys...

this his and hers...
has eluded the allure of the 'dark side'...

coz this his and hers...
has been delighting him and her...
...always...

Birding heartaches and joys...

noreply@blogger.com (Zaiton Yunus) — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 04:35:00 +0000

Two Saturdays ago...

My chest tightened. It felt like someone is tugging hard at it. I put my hand over my chest. I could feel my heart racing hard and fast, thudding against my palm. My breathing became laboured. I was breathing very hard. I was out of breath. I gulped the air as slow as I can. As gentle as I could.

I could see that my hands were shaking. I opened up my palm. It was pale. I clenched it. I unclenched it. In my oxygen deprived lungs, I reached inside my pocket. With unsteady hand, I took out my BB and scrolled hubby's no.

Self : I felt like throwing my camera...
Hubby : Huh?
Self : It's here...just under the bridge...
Hubby : So, did you get a photo...
Self : (voice shaking in agony)...yaaa...but all blurrrrrrrrr...it's just too fast...too quick for my cam...

My eyes started to burn. I just could not believe it. It was a first time for me. I could hardly believe that I nearly shed a tear. I nearly reduced to crying. Just because of her...the White-Browed Shortwing. Our recent find. The cause of our sleepless nights.

On our way back home, I could not help talking endlessly about the shortwing. Hubby patiently listened to my repetitive narration on the missed opportunities. I guessed he could see the disappointment written all over my face. He could hear the frustration in my voice. But when hubby suggested that we do another trip the next day, thrilled that I was, I did not give him the thumbs up right away.

For one, I would be breaking the rule...no birding on Sunday or a day before work day. The other one would be the kids. They would definitely do not take this into stride. So, we devised an idea. We would take them along for a half day affair at the mountain. And to our surprise but I have to admit much to our delight they flatly rejected the idea.

So, in order to compensate our absence on Sunday, we treated the kids to Dinner at Tuaran Chicken Rice and later got them their food supplies. I was happy with the turn of event and my obsession with the shortwing took me to another level when I dreamt of it that night...

On Sunday...

On our way up, I could not hide my excitement. I chatted non-stopped and when I do stopped I chanted the shortwing name in silence. I willed it to come out and showed itself. I have to see it again. I have to get a photo of it. That's my mission.

While hubby went into the trail to look for the Whitehead Trogon, I lingered around the stream around the park. It has become my favourite spot ever since I spotted not only the White-Browed Shortwing but also the endemic Crimson-Headed Partridge.

It was not long before I caught a movement out of the corner of my eye. Being extra careful, being extra quite, I think I even stopped breathing completely while clicking furiously at my shutter.

I was on cloud nine when I managed to nail these photos. The best that my camera could reach. The best that my camera could give me.

...The White-Browed Shortwing...Brachypteryx montana...

...The Eyebrowed Jungle Flycatcher...Rhinomyias gularis...

...an endemic that is highly territorial...it will chase off other birds that went into its "claimed" spot...

...The Indigo Flycatcher...Eumyias indigo...

...saw one of it bathing the day before...it was a treat watching them taking turns dipping in the cool water...

...I heard hubby called out to me..."take both of them, you're at the right angle"...only then I realised that both of them preening at the bank of the stream...

To be able to appreciate the sheer beauty of these winged ones among us...
...is a noble act...
To be able to see and captured their sheer beauty on camera...
...are life's small pleasures...

Yuckyyyy...

noreply@blogger.com (Zaiton Yunus) — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 04:10:00 +0000

...this morning at the office...

Since I car-pooled with hubby, I would asked him to drop me off at the nearby restaurant to get my breakfast...

I was reading the newspaper over my breakfast and almost did not noticed it...since I do not eat garlic and onions I would normally rummaged over my noodles to put them aside...still I did not noticed anything peculiar...I guessed I was lucky enough today...when I took off my eyes from the paper in between bites I saw a roundish black thingy shape...still I thought it was a burnt crust if not for the metalic sort of shine it reflected...it was nothing actually...

...hahhh...nothing my foot...IT'S A FLY!!!...it's not the ordinary fly...it's the bigger version one...'the langau'...

...this brought to mind something that happened some time in April last...

We were having lunch at this restaurant located on the other side from our office at Alamesra. It was always packed with people and we are in agreement that the various selection of tasty foods is really a crowd puller.

...we had our 2nd lunch there when...

Momoi : Oh my...
Aines : Why?
Momoi : Still alive...
Self : What...what is it?
Momoi : Do you think I have eaten it?
Self : What is it?
Sai : Maggot...

A still very much alive maggot was wiggling in Momoi's veggies. We summoned one of the lady workers. It took them quite a while to attend to Momoi and when shown the maggot she informed who we believed is one of the supervisors. Momoi's food was taken away and she was told to take fresh ones. I guessed remembering that wiggly thing had loosen her appetite a bit. She only took one dish instead of three.

We continued our lunch when I noticed something in my dish and asked one of the girls...

Self : What do you thing this is...(pushing a pinkish flatten shred of something to the edge of the plate)
Momoi : What...don't tell me you have one too...
Self : Do you think this is also that thing Nes...
Aines : (peering closer)...Yes...

I signalled to the lady worker yet again...

Self : Just want to tell you (pointing at my plate)...
Worker : Oh my...get a fresh one then...
Self : It's okay...

It was in my veggie. My veggie is different from Momoi's. I did not take fresh food as requested as I almost finish eating mine. Then I continued eating my chicken. Well, the chicken is tasty after all.

2 out of 4 person having maggots in their lunch...one alive...one dead...sitting at the same table...wow...talk about luck!

Just a few hours before lunch that day I had an encounter...I was passing Jacq's work station on my way from the verandah when I noticed something on the tiles...

...it must have crawled out from the newly replaced potted plant...it even got time to poop...

...a closer view of the earth worm...that's quite a poop tiny fella...

...after a few attempts I managed to wrestle it up on the toothpick...

So, this is the deal...
...we abstained from visiting the maggot restaurant as it is now on our blacklist...
...I would still buy my breakfast from the fly restaurant...

Catching up...

noreply@blogger.com (Zaiton Yunus) — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 05:48:00 +0000

...an understatement indeed...

It was indeed a long time since I last blogged...is it caused by what one called the writer's block...I myself chuckled on that excuse...am I out of articles to write...well it is a lame excuse indeed as I have tonnes of things to write actually...okay then...let's just say that I went for a journey to the land of laziness...liked it very much there and decided to stay a while...so much so that I overstayed my visit and got myself stranded willingly...talk about laziness in full force...well I think they have been resting long enough...it is time to let the fingers do their talking again...

Talked about catching up...hhmmm...20 odd years...2 decades is indeed a pretty long time I reckoned...funny thing is, felt like it was only just yesterday...but that was not to be I'm afraid...I aged twice since then...I no longer weigh 40kg...I am no longer the young girl I used to be...against my will I left that life 20 years ago on a one-way trip in the land of no return...I prepared myself for working life...before becoming a wife...before becoming a mother...my new world...my life...all other things became secondary...

I think I was not the only one having to make a 360 degree turn of my life...well, to think that I have a friend who is also living at Sembulan back then...our houses were not that far situated from each other...for the life of me I swore I have never met her after we finished at ITM...except for the once in a blue moon situation where I bumped into an old friend, I guessed that's about it...and then such rare meeting would be cut short by the children's wailing or the spouse's meaningful stare, among others that is...

Then came the FB craze...somehow rather I succumbed easily to this craze unlike its predecessor Friendster and MySpace...even my daughter gave me the oddest-could not believe-big-eye-look when she knew I signed up...I searched and searched for long lost friends and only managed to find a few friends...I could not help thinking...are we really that old?...too old not to be a bit computer savvy...too old not to be having some fun...well, my daughter thought it...

Then out of the blue, a familiar name from the east cost added me in FB...I was pretty happy because I have not heard from her for ages...Darmaliah or Dee as she was affectionately called, messaged me...upon knowing her impending visit to KK, we took this opportunity to hold a small reunion with those staying at KK...since I was pretty incommunicado with most of my friends, I let Dar, as I called her, got the ball rolling...a small voice seemed to tell me that the last minute arrangement would not produce the result that we wanted...it did not deter us at all...even after knowing only a small number could make it...even I myself was not sure I could make it...

...(L to R)...Norhaidah (Pau), Darmaliah (Dee or Dar), yours truly, Diana (Di) and Di's cute niece...

But I did make it...only 4 of us made it...but had a blast we did...we lunched at the Chicken Rice Shop at 1Borneo...we talked and talked and talked...we went down memory lane...we reminisced the good old days...we were 20 years younger...we could not help ourselves...we could not help laughing out loud...we could not help giggling at our own jokes...Dar and Pau were seated next to each other...they would shoved at each other...they would slapped at each other's arms...I thought we were at our former dorm at that time...the 4 of us sitting at the long table outside the dorm...eating hot maggi after long lecture period...Pau and Dar looked just as before...it is hard to think that these two jokers are mothers of grown up children...it will be in no time these two would be getting sons or daughters in laws...wow that would be something to see indeed...

...the 4 of us put our brain together trying to remember everybody from our course...Dar penned down the names on the tissue and we went quite for a while when she wrote down a name...a dear friend who was taken too early...Julena or Jase...Rest in Peace dear...don't worry...you are remembered...I still remembered that I sent you home...we chatted a while and before leaving you gave me a parting gift...a big yellow bee doll...I still remember my friend...I will remember you forever...

Time was really not on our side that day...in the brief limited time, we decided to hold another reunion with the hope of a more merrier attendance before the year end...it would be great to be able to band together with the rest of the girls...it is something I looked forward to...

So, to be or not to be, that is the question...Dar, Di and Pau...I leave it in your good hands to pull this off...

Catching up after 20 odd years...an understatement indeed...
Making up for long lost time for a day...priceless...

Tattoo...

noreply@blogger.com (Zaiton Yunus) — Mon, 11 May 2009 23:46:00 +0000

...ehemmmm...
...not body tho'...
but these...

...kakak's...I thought it was not yet finished eventho' she already wore it last Sunday to KK...she told me it represent darkness and light...her interpretation of her drawings...

...Adek's..."cantik kah, cantik kah ni" she asked, showing me a beautiful sketch of heart motif...was a bit surprised when she painted this tho...I guessed it is a bit easier to manipulate only one colour...

..."eh tembirang lah tu kan, suka betul lukis hantu jepun ni" I heard the girls saying as soon as their Uncle Joko return home one night...this was really a surprise tho..."oohhh...ko pakai cat yang baru saya beli pula tu ah" hubby garang2 kunu cakap sama si Joko...he even told us that some of his friends are interested...hmmmmmmm...

...later...

My mothers...

noreply@blogger.com (Zaiton Yunus) — Sun, 10 May 2009 08:09:00 +0000

Mak...

I do not need to wait for Mother's Day to remember you by...
Wherever you are...
You're always in my prayer...
Always in my heart...
Rest in peace...
You're in good hands...
You're in a better place...
Till we meet again mak...
Until then...Alfatihah...Amin

...a studio photo when there's only 3 of us siblings...
...except for Bapa's, all our clothes were sewn by mak...
...mak, if only I can taste your cooking one more time...

Mummy...

Thank you for giving me the opportunity...
For letting me be a daughter again...
You're one of a kind...
I am honoured...

...Alli took this photo of mummy holding some mangoes she picked from the small orchard beside the house...a big woman with a big heart to match it...mummy may good health and happiness be with you all the time...

I am blessed...

Inspirations...

noreply@blogger.com (Zaiton Yunus) — Thu, 07 May 2009 00:32:00 +0000

Last night...

Hubby told me an inspirational story narrated to him by Chai during their lunch together on last Tuesday...

...some time in the 80s Chai was doing research work at Danum Valley...he met this one gardener who worked there...the gardener was still there when Chai was doing another research work some time in the 90s...

...this gardener is weirdly special...weird because he would take whatever seeds he found and started to plant them...special because in this way he would be able to monitor the progress of the plants, nurtured them, watch them grew and understand them right from their seed...a self-gained knowledge that others might perceive as something that is merely done just to kill time...nothing out of the ordinary tho, after all, he is the gardener...

...but I guessed little did everyone knew that this hands-on-self-gained-knowledge would open up the path to a new world to the gardener...he was very passionate about what he did and over time he became an "expert" on these plants....so much so that when a group of students from the UK were doing their thesis...he was there teaching them about the plants...they were very impressed with his knowledge...I mean who wouldn't...a lowly worker who most of the time did not even deserve a nod of our head...a lowly worker whose existence is none to some of us...

...the gardener was later joined by his nephew at his workplace and he instilled the same passion into him...his indepth knowledge of the plants won the heart of the students that they suggested he went to the UK and worked in one of the green houses there...he went there in 1999 (if I'm not mistaken)...he is still there...still doing what he did when he went there...lecturing!!!

I was very sure about one thing...
...one does not need credentials to change one's life...
...one does not need all the worldly materials to transform one's life...
...it takes a little bit of passion...
...it takes a little bit of confidence...
...it takes a little bit of desire...
...this is what I believe...

I forgot to mention one thing tho about this gardener...oops two things actually...
...from a non-english-talking-person, he is now lecturing in UK...
...it gets even better...the gardener is a Timorese!!!

Talking about inspiration, I was inspired by what I saw in one of the blogs...I was forever harassed by my colleagues to make use of my children's artistics talent...a talent that they inherited from their father...

I have bought all the necessary materials for them to experiment with but their father dearest has beat them to it...

This morning hubby showed me this...he did them last night...an image of the Borneon Bristlehead, the 5 star-endemic-sought-after-close-to-his-heart bird, hand-drawn on one of his hiking boots (http://www.flickr.com/photos/jordansitorus/3185219520/in/photostream/)

...inspirational stories are abound...
...if we look closely, the doors of opportunity are everywhere...
...if we look closely, the windows of opportunity are there...
...we see them...
...but how many take a good look inside...
what we're good at...
what we're best at doing at...
...be a spectator...
...be an audience...
It's no longer enough for me tho...
I'm feeling inspired these past few days...
It's a wonderful feeling...
It's a mighty wonderful feeling when you shared them with your family...

Ticked off...

noreply@blogger.com (Zaiton Yunus) — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 23:44:00 +0000

Last Monday...

Self : Hari ni buli slot in kah...
E : Oohh banyak betul kereta oh...itu orang berbaris sampai luar...besok buli kah...jam 9.00...
Self : Ok...thanks ah...

Last Tuesday...

Self : 2nd service and ada few things yang I mau dorang tengok...saya mau fully synthetic ah...
E : Eh Triton tiada oh...1 jenis saja minyak dia...
Self : Bah ok lah...tolong suruh check ada squeaking sound di bahagian tayar...mau kena kasi greasing...kami suda guna WD40 tapi itu bunyi balik lagi...lepas tu tolong juga suruh dorang check ini ah...kalau 1000rpm ada mau bunyi kasar sikit...
E : Di engine kah...
Self : Inda tau la tuh...time slow ada bunyi macam kasar sikit...
E : Eh kalau gitu dorang mau kena test drive tu...kau mau tunggu kah...
Self : Eh tidak...saya rushing ni...my colleague nanti ambil saya...you call me la kalo sudah siap...

Well, what can I say. Barely into her 2nd month with us, the triton has to go for her 2nd service as she has already ate up 5800km. Pity her tho but she is doing a splendid job in plying the 115km-5-day-ride from Tuaran to Putatan and not to mention the ride up to the mountain every weekend.

Afer lunch I called up the service centre only to be told that it is not ready yet. I was only called back after 3pm to collect the car and reached the office slightly after 4pm.

When hubby reached home that night...I was in the kitchen preparing dinner...

Hubby : Jadi macam mana kereta...
Self : Mau tau...nasib masa masuk kereta, I check bill...adakah dorang charge cuci kereta padahal indada...
Hubby : Adakah dorang buat...
Self : Eh panjang cerita ni...mesti mau cerita perl...
Hubby : (cutting me off)...ya ka tidak...
Self : Tiada lah kali...sampai ofis tadi I ungat-ungat kereta tu masi juga ada bunyi...
Hubby : Aduiiii...ini lah time yang paling bagus...(tone lain macam suda...menengok pun berkerut2 kening)

I somehow felt that he's blaming me for not making sure that all those things were done. I continued with cooking when hubby came behind me...

Hubby : Bukan saya marah sama kau ni ah...
Self : (silent)
Hubby : Kau dengar kah...
Self : Ya lah...(I did not even look at him)

I'm afraid the damage was done. I myself was angry. All of a sudden the chronology of the day's events flashed back into memory. I started to reminisce...all I need was a bit of understanding on the inconveniences I encountered when servicing the car...

1. I called up Aines to fetch me up at the service centre. She somehow rather did not tell me that she had an appointment with a customer that morning. Just because she had to pick me up, she asked the customer to meet her a bit later. I only knew about this when she rushed out again slightly after reaching the office. This is guilt no. 1.

2. I managed to get one of the boys to send me to the service centre. My exact words..."Ada siapa2 free kah nanti? Mau minta tumpang pigi ambil kereta?...to which Toby voluntereed. I knew that nowadays the boys are drowning in their jobs but you would rarely get a disappointing answer from them. As best as they can, they would accommodate your requests, be it official or personal. We're a close knit small community after all. Nearing 3.30pm I buzzed Toby telling him that I would be waiting for him downstairs. I waited for quite a while when he called, asked me to wait coz 'ada kerja sikit' he told me. When he came down, he apologized to me for being late. Geezzz...I think it should be the other way around. This is guilt no. 2.

3. I paid up without even inspecting the bill. Luckily when I was inside the car I pulled out the bill and noticed I was being charged for body and engine wash. Upon inspection I noticed that it was not done as the same stain at the passenger's door is still there. I went back to the payment counter and was given a raincheck on the body and engine wash. I rushed as quickly back to the office. There are tons to do before the Big Man is going away for his leave. I gave the car a shake on the rear tyre, and there it was, the squeaking sound. Somehow I knew then the rest of the request which I scribbled on a piece of paper for them to do was not done. This is ticked off no. 1.

4. I got ticked off no. 2 when hubby started to let go some steam. I also knew that he was not really angry with me but I also could not help feeling that he's blaming me a bit. It's in the tone. It's in the reaction.

I never like it when he asked me to do stuff for the cars. To me, it's a man job. Never like it, never will be. For God's sake I don't even know how to pump up the tyre. I know I should. Basic mah...so what if I don't want to learn. My loss, my own problem.

So now I'm in a semi-silent mode...
Maybe that happens when you live some time apart...communication gets rusty...
Or maybe the timing is not right...it's those monthly thingy...

Maybe I'll go there...
To those "happy" places a lot of people seems to go to...
...whenever they're feeling down...
I don't have it yet...
But I think I'll go here...
...at least this time...

Reunited...

noreply@blogger.com (Zaiton Yunus) — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 00:00:00 +0000

Some time in early January...

With the haste and drastic decision taken during December, hubby and myself decided to take a week off in order to settle the children's schooling matters. It was a tedious task to say the least, going to and fro from the old schools to the new schools. Patience was wearing very thin by the minute and day. I was very concerned with hubby as he was not exactly a patient person but remarkably he weathered the sometimes nonsense issues we encountered from time to time.

One day, during our drive back to KK from the new schools in Tuaran...

Hubby : Macam mau pigi jumpa Big Boss nanti...mau appeal...
Self : Bah mari lah...
Hubby : (taken aback)...hari ni?
Self : Ya lah...we urus la whatever we can urus...radu satu kali ja...
Hubby : Tapi belum submit lagi transfer form...
Self : Ndak peduli la bah tu...your bos kali sudah pun cakap sama head office...

During the drive, hubby started an Answer and Question session with me. I guessed he was a bit jittery meeting the boss and he wanted everything to go well during the meeting. He was a bit miffed when I reluctantly participated...

Hubby : Kita mesti anticipate apa yang boss mau tanya nanti...
Self : Don't worry la bah...I know what to answer nanti...

Hubby might have forgotten that I have done this before with the previous boss. I went alone to see the big man appealing for his transfer from Sandakan to KK.

The meeting was very brief and all the talking was done by hubby. Most of the time I nodded in agreement, put in a few words and smiled, smiled and smiled.

We, or rather I, did not stop there. I followed up the meeting with a letter...a personal letter from me to the big boss. I guessed there are times when we need to emphasise our stance on some matters what more with the ones that involves our lives.

Dear Encik Xxxxx,

First and foremost, I would like to thank you for your generosity in sparing a few minutes of your time to see myself and Jordan last week pertaining to his request for transfer from F.T. Labuan to Kota Kinabalu. We knew how tight your schedule was and we appreciate your gesture very much.

Before I go any further, I would like to apologize to you for any inconvenience caused for writing this letter to you as I see no other option to voice my concern over Jordan’s transfer. My only reason for writing this letter is to seek your utmost consideration for his speedy transfer to Kota Kinabalu.

As we have informed you during the meeting, the wellbeing and welfare of our children are of paramount importance. For stability and security purposes, we have uprooted them from their urban schools in Kota Kinabalu and transferred them to Tuaran. I guessed in the process we have underestimated the culture shock that they would encounter towards their new schools. I have to admit that I could no longer handle matters concerning the children alone and they on the other hand desperately need their father’s support and guidance. I would not want to sound imposing but rather implore for your utmost kindness to expedite his transfer.

As a wife, I believed that I have been very supportive towards Jordan’s career all this while to the extent of willingly to live separately. All this while even with difficulty we manage to carry on with our lives but the children’s new development made us aware that it has taken a toll on them, be it emotionally as well as education wise. As parents and I believed as any parents faced with this kind of situation, we could not simply put a blind eye to this matter any longer.

Encik Xxxxx, I think I have taken much of your time but before I penned off I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for your support towards Jordan’s career enhancement. I would also like to take this opportunity to once again plead for your utmost consideration for Jordan’s speedy transfer to Kota Kinabalu.

Your kindness and compassion towards the above matter is highly appreciated.

Thank you.

I prayed...
Hubby prayed...
The children prayed...

19 March 2009...
...we are whole again...

Our new life...

noreply@blogger.com (Zaiton Yunus) — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 04:29:00 +0000

Little did I know...

Some time in December last...at the office...before Christmas...

Momoi : Bah siapa cuti time buka school...
Aines : I mau cuti...
Momoi : Ko Ton?
Self : Inda la.....
Momoi : Kenapa pula ko inda cuti?
Self : Anak2 I kan continue ja...Aines sebab Ally baru masuk Darjah 1...

Some time in December last...at home...after Christmas...

Hubby : So, how? Ita said better if Kakak school di Tuaran...
Self : (silent)
Hubby : Bagus juga kalau si Adek pun di sana...Alli stay with us la...
Self : (long silent)
Hubby : Ada juga betul cakap si Ita tu...PMR ni ok lagi...SPM ni si Kakak perlu tempat yang tenang...
Self : (still silent)
Hubby : Jadi apa pikiran?

I pondered heavily on the recent incident that had happened before...
...that is still happening...
...that is showing no sign of receding...

I closed my eyes...
Deep in thought...
Playing and rewinding my memory...
And in the shortest span of record time...
I reached a lightning decision...
A do or die decision...
A decision that I believed I should have taken a long time ago...
Just because I was a coward...
Just because I was afraid...

Then I dropped the bombshell...

Self : Kalau kita semua pindah pun ok juga bah...
Hubby : Hah...betul bah ni...(was hubby in a BIG surprise, big caused I rejected this idea before and I was never short of excuses then...)
Self : Betul bah...
Hubby : Betul?
Self : Iya...
Hubby : Betul bah ni...
Self : Iya bah...kalau dipikir-pikir apa juga yang I mau ni actually...apa yang mau dikejar sebenarnya...kesian budak2 tu...lama suda dorang suffering...
Hubby : Bole suda call Mummy kasi tau dorang this news...
Self : (nodding)

So, in a flash we left our present life behind just as 2008 is closing its chapter.
We prepared ourselves for the upheavel and ruckus that we knew is coming as 2009 is closing in.
When we broke the news to the children, we noticed that they received it with mixed feelings.
Happy caused they loved living at kampung, a friend once told me..."heran juga anak2 kau ni...orang mati2 mau pigi bandar...dorang pula suka di kampung"...
Sad because they are leaving their friends behind...

After all the hiccups of moving house...
After all the glitches of switching school...
After all the seemingly endless lectures and comfort talks...
We ride through the stormy blend of emotional turmoil...
We drive right ahead through the foggy journey...
We received come what may with open arms...
We received come what may with open hearts...

Caused we knew...
There is nothing more sweeter in this world...
Nothing beats the feeling...
...of being at home sweet home...

...hubby and Alli burning the rubbish...di KK inda pernah dapat buat gini...

...under hubby's supervision, Alli could not seem to go far away from the fire...

...Kakak and Adek joined in...

...kakak and Alli played their old bikes...

...Tiger, the puppy that Uncle Dohoi gave to mummy likes to follow the children biking...

...Tiger seemed to listen to what hubby said...

...hubby mowing the lawn...

...still mowing biar sudah gelap...semangat...

My, my, my...
How very little did I know...

The greatest gift...

noreply@blogger.com (Zaiton Yunus) — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 03:32:00 +0000

Life is indeed strange…
When you’re not looking…when you’re not searching…
There he was…out of nowhere…holding out his hand to you…
Come with me…he gestured to you…
Follow me…he seemed to say…
Is it a figment of your imagination?
Is your mind playing tricks on you?
You become confused…you hesitated…

Is he mad, you asked yourself…
You looked hard at yourself…
You looked at him…
You looked at yourself again…
Yes, that is what he is…he is mad you said to yourself…

Is he playing a prank on you, you can’t help asking yourself again…
You are not sure…you are not certain…
One thing you are sure of…
You are never going to let your guard down…
You are never going to let yourself down…
That’s what you think…that’s what you told yourself

Yet you took his hand…yet you let him lead you away…
Still uncertain…still unsure…

Like a chapter from your favourite Mills and Boon…
Like a beautiful dream embracing your silent nightly slumber…
A tall, dark, handsome man…
A knight in shining amour…
Dashing into your life…
Turning your life topsy turvy…

In your vulnerability…you tried to shoo him away…
In your vulnerability…you hurled hurtful words just so he will walk away…
…go away now, when you still have the chance…
…go away now, before it’s too late…

But that’s the strangest thing…
He wouldn’t budge no matter what…he swallowed all the bitter words…
He braved the storms ahead…he smiled at you still holding his hand out…
For he knew something which you did not know…
For he believed something which you did not believe…
He believes that there is you and him…
He believes in us…

Throwing all cautions into the wind…
Taking the whirlwind romance in your stride…
You took his hand…you hold it tightly…
You no longer want to let go…you no longer want him to let go…
You open up your heart…you let him come into your heart…
Be gentle with my heart…you implore silently…
Be kind with my heart…you plead quietly…
For I give you my heart wholeheartedly…
For I offer you my life commitment…

Babe…
Thank you for the music…

Luv,
your valentine

Awakening...

noreply@blogger.com (Zaiton Yunus) — Sun, 11 Jan 2009 01:32:00 +0000

I saw...yet I see through it...
I heard...yet I just keep on listening...
I did not pretend I did not see it...
I did not pretend I did not hear it...
That's just it...
I just let it happened...
Again...
...and again...

It was the 29th of December 2008...
Something happened that day...
Something that had happened before...
Something that finally resulted in a drastic decision...
Something that made my nerve snapped harder than before...
The catalyst for the things that I should have done before...
A long long time ago...

So I've decided...that's it...
So I've decided...this is it...
I've decided I do not want to be that person again...
I've decided I do not want to be in that position again...

...last year I was this...
...slow and steady...
...miss goody two shoes...

...this year I am this...
...colourful as colourful can be...
...roaring and ready to rock and roll...

I have to bear in mind tho' that things won't go my way as fast as I wish...
I have to bear in mind tho' that things won't be the way I want it to be right away...
I guessed what has been said all this while is true...
It is a virtue indeed...
...that is what it is ...
All I need to do...
All I have to do now...
...is just be patient...

A new dawn...

noreply@blogger.com (Zaiton Yunus) — Sat, 03 Jan 2009 14:22:00 +0000

At the blink of the eye...
It was yesterday...
At the blink of the eye...
It was no longer there...
At the blink of the eye...
It was gone forever...

Never to come back...
Never to be seen again...
Never to be heard again...

...time...
indeed...
...wait for no man...

The new dawn of a new era some would perceive it...
The new dawn of a new chapter some would say it...
The new dawn of a new beginning some would see it...

For me...
...a whole lot of new found determinations...
...a whole lot of new found strengths...
...the ones that I thought I do not possess...
...the ones that I thought was insignificant...

...shining through...

I am now ready...
...to face life's darkeness...
I am now ready...
...to face life's challenges...
I am now ready...
...to face life's offerings...

Adieu 2008...
...thank you for the memories...

Greetings 2009...
...thank you for your new promises...
...I am ready...
...come what may...

All our love...

noreply@blogger.com (Zaiton Yunus) — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 01:25:00 +0000

It was slightly after 11.00 pm last night...

The cough syrup from his last visit did not do the trick...
Instead of subsiding, Alli's cough was getting non-stop...
He pestered me to bring him to see the doctor...an abnormality on his part...a signal that he could not longer withstand the pain...
Upon reaching the clinic, I then decided to also see the doctor...seemed to experience breathing discomfort for the last few days...short interval of breathing time...

Dr : Kamu pernah asma kan?
Self : Kalau time batuk kuat or selesma...
Dr : Sekarang kamu asma ni...I give you this ubat...kuat sikit...jantung akan laju sikit bergerak...jangan takut...
Self : Ok...
Alli : Can you make it quick please...(he was already sitting down next to the Dr's table)
Dr : Why you want to make it quick (still scribbling down my medication)...
Alli : I'm freezing (the aircond was behind him)...
Dr : Ok la...I'll be quick...

I could not help looking at my watch...
It was past 11.45pm...
Waiting for the medication was like waiting forever...
It was getting on my nerve...
I need to go home fast...
I need to get the children ready...
Ready before the clock strikes 12.00am...
Ready for this...

...we gathered together and sang...
...happy birthday to you...
...happy birthday to you...
...happy birthday to you daddy...
...happy birthday to you...
...thank you Skype...

It was fun...
Fun because we were shoving each other so that hubby could see us...
Fun when I recalled Adek saying..."jaga ah kalau siapa suara sumbang"...
Fun when we sang out loud to hubby...

But it was also sad at the same time...
Sad because we could not give hubby the customary hugs and kisses...
Sad because he is all alone there...
Sad because we do not have him here with us...

Babe...
...all my love...
...all our love...
...my knight in shining amour...
...our pillar of strength...
Luv u...

p.s. Nikon D300 or the rumoured Nikon D400 c/w video...hmmmm... ;)