Licensed Professional Counselor

Resources For Choices, Changes, And Transitions

Tamara — Mon, 06 Sep 2010 06:09:35 +0000

Whether you are faced with difficult choices, predictable transitions, or unforeseen life changes, I hope you will find some of the resources below to be helpful to you on your journey.

The Age of Miracles: Embracing the New Midlife
Marianne Williamson

Rebuilding: When Your Relationship Ends
Bruce Fisher

The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change
Stephen Covey

Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes
William Bridges

The Way of Transition: Embracing Life’s Most Difficult Moments
William Bridges

Things Fall Apart: Heartfelt Advice for Difficult Times
Pema Chodron

4 Signs Of A Cheating Spouse

Tamara — Thu, 26 Aug 2010 06:07:48 +0000

Last week, Dr. Gary Newman was on Good Day NY promoting his new book, The Truth About Cheating. During his interview, he listed these 4 signs of a cheating spouse:

More time away,
Less sex,
Avoids contact and cell phone calls, and
Starts fights and increases criticism.

He also listed 4 ways to prevent cheating include:

Work on increasing the emotional connection,
Spend time together on a daily basis,
Schedule date nights, and
Monitor friends.

What I know about cheating is that the real problem in the relationship started long before the cheating. Cheating is just the symptom.

When a couple is in a good place i.e. when both individuals are feeling respected, engaged, and wanted, cheating can’t happen. If you aren’t in a good place with each other, then cracks (in a relationship) happen and . . . if cracks happen, then cheating is a very real risk . . . regardless of how much you both may love each other.

Violence Unsilenced

Tamara — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 06:08:19 +0000

If you are in a violent relationship, maybe I can help.
Ask me how. Call me. 303-660-4989

How to Find a Good Therapist

Tamara — Mon, 16 Aug 2010 06:08:52 +0000

Elaine Aaron has published an article online in the Huffington Post on How to Find a Good Therapist. In it she offers tips and cautionary notes that you should consider before engaging the services of a mental health professional including:

Make sure your therapist is licensed;
Ask about their formal training;
Check out more than one professional before deciding who to work with;
Discuss fees and any concerns that you have about money up front;
Don’t work with a therapist who is also working with your best friend or a member of your family.

If you have already started working with a mental health professional, what suggestions can you add to this list to help others find a good “fit” with their therapist?

And, if you are looking for a mental health professional in the states of Texas or Colorado, I would be happy to talk with you to see if I am the therapist that you are looking for to help you start to make some changes in your life!

Something To Help With Your Depression

Tamara — Mon, 09 Aug 2010 06:08:26 +0000

Check out this great little post by Tom Jacobs entitled Classical Music an Effective Antidepressant. It it he discusses research that indicates listening to some of Bach and Mozart’s music can actually have a positive effect on depression.

Resources For Grief And Loss

Tamara — Mon, 02 Aug 2010 06:07:34 +0000

Whether you are dealing with the loss of a loved one, a precious relationship, a fantasy, or a job, I hope you’ll take some time to check out some of these resources to support you on your journey.

A Time to Grieve: Meditations for Healing after the Death of a Loved One
Carol Staudacher

Afterwords
Ellen Steinbaum

Broken Open: How Difficult Times Can Help Us Grow
Elizabeth Lesser

Gentle Closings: How to Say Goodbye to Someone You Love
Ted Menten

The Grieving Time: A Year’s Account of Recovery from Loss
Anne M. Brooks

Living When a Loved One Has Died
Rabbi Earl A. Grollman

The Second Half of Marriage: Facing the Eight Challenges of the Empty Nest Years
David and Claudia Arp

Solace: Finding Your Way through Grief and Learning to Live Again
Roberta Temes

Spiritual Divorce: Divorce as a Catalyst for an Extraordinary Life
Debbie Ford

When Someone You Love is Dying
Norma S. Upson

Working It Through: An Elisabeth Kubler-Ross Workshop on Life, Death and Transition
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, M.D.

Grief: Coping with Reminders After a Loss

If you are aware of other books / websites / blogs that can offer support for those grieving, I hope you will introduce yourself and leave them below.

He Never Hits Her

Tamara — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 06:08:16 +0000

She watches, like a puppy
waiting for affection or a treat.

She watches—yet rarely
is there a gentle touch,
or loving eyes.

Instead, his eyes
are gunmetal.
His words are razors.

You’re getting fat.
What do you do all day?
You parent like your mother.
Where did you get that outfit?
You forgot to get my cleaning again.
It’s beyond me how you got a degree.
Your friends say they don’t like you.
You missed a spot when you vacuumed.
You forgot to use heavy starch on my shirts. Again.
You get an allowance because you can’t handle money.
All I ask is that you do what I ask.
You can’t do anything right.

She watches. And he turns, as though
she is a curl
of dog shit that one
would dispatch into sand
with a quick kick of his Nike.

He never touches her. With his fists.”

This poem was written by Marlene Jezierski. She has written an entire e-book, Beyond the Mirror, that you can download for free.

What Is It You Learned To Live With?

Tamara — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 06:08:23 +0000

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.”

~ Excerpt from the poem Children Learn What They Live by the late Dorothy Law Nolte

Resources For Caring For Your Body

Tamara — Mon, 05 Jul 2010 06:07:54 +0000

I don’t really like separating the physical body from your spirit and mind. However, for the sake of providing some resource to support you in caring for your body, I have done just that. Here are some of my favorite tools to help you on your journey.

Injury: Learning to Live Again
Dorothy L. Mercer, Ph.D.

Living with Chronic Fatigue: New Strategies for Coping with and Conquering CFS
Susan Conant, Ed.D.

Mainstay: For the Well Spouse of the Chronically Ill
Maggie Strong

Prayer and Our Bodies
Flora Slosson Wuellner

The Wisdom of Menopause
Christiane Northrup, M.D.

Women’s Body’s, Women’s Wisdom
Christiane Northrup, M.D.

The Empowered Patient

I hope you’ll let me know what you think of the books and websites above and add your own favorite resources below!

A Report Card For Your Therapist

Tamara — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 06:45:18 +0000

Today I was reading a blog post in Under the Microscope. It was a report card for teachers and it got me to thinking . . . . Where are our report cards for psychotherapists?

Many of us have had or do have professional relationships with psychotherapists . . . . amazing ones, horrendous ones, and all the grays in between. Take a moment and think about it . . . . What was really helpful? What got in the way? What worked and what didn’t? What made your therapist really special or what made her especially bad?

If you’ve had a memorable experience with a psychotherapist and don’t mind sharing your story, perhaps the rest of us in the mental health professions can learn from your experience.

You may note your story below in the comments or email me back channel at Tamara at TamaraSuttle dot com. Either way, I’ll be happy to collect them and re-post the results once I’ve gathered the results!