Tambatan Hidup

Crabbing last year and A New Year to Ponder

2014-01-25T19:15:00.001-08:00

My posts have been fewer and fewer in this blog :) Since September 2013's post there's not much going on in my side of the world. My Thanksgiving break was uneventful; in fact, I think I had times to cook leisurely, took food photos for fun, and had a nice Thanksgiving dinner with my parents. It's something I looked forward to at the time because since school started there's no break in daily activities; I hoped hard for Thanksgiving break.

My husband and I were waffling about what we're gonna do during Christmas break. He had a 10-day break which was usually difficult to get. But honestly, we're broke, or precisely I was keeping our budget tight for next year's (this year) project. So we decided to stay home, and when it's almost time for the break, my mother-in-law called us and said that she's coming to visit. Oh yeah! We hadn't seen her for about a year so we're excited to hear the news. At the same time, my parents' friends invited them to go crabbing in Newport. I jumped at the chance to go crabbing, I've never done it before and was always curious to see how it's done.

We went to Newport on Christmas day, which my son previously was set against doing any travel on Christmas day, and stayed for 2 nights in a resort by Yaquina Bay. The resort was set right on the bay and we got a room overlooked the bridge. The day of Christmas 2013 in the coast was the best ever Christmas day since I've lived here. The temperature was in the 50's, there's no clouds in the sky, and the sun shone gloriously. We savored the afternoon by relaxing in our room and waited for the sun to set over the Yaquina Bay Bridge.

The way the crabbing went was pretty basic. We filled the pots with baits, usually raw meat, then the pots were thrown to the water with ropes tied to the dock. We didn't go crabbing by boat because my dad's friend, who did most of the crabbing, couldn't stand being at the sea. Same with me, I was glad this was done on the dock. After 10 minutes or so, the pots were pulled and examined for the contents. If we caught Dungeness crabs, males only, with the right size we got to keep them. But if they're too small or females, we threw them back to the sea. Often times we got different type of crab, which was called red rock crab. This wasn't as favored as Dungeness but I found their meat was actually sweeter and tender. One time we got a starfish twice as big as a man's palm. We inspected it for fun, touched it, and after that, threw it back to the sea. Crabbing is a lot of fun, but it's hard work and you have to be patient. It can also an all-day activity especially if you're determined to get lots of crabs.

We basically ate crabs non-stop from that night to the next day. Even though we brought other foods, the crabs were the star. After lunch the next day, we went to Yaquina Bay State Park. We visited the lighthouse, walked on the beach, and of course, splashed with the cold water of Pacific Ocean. It was just as beautiful as the day before. We were very happy.

So yeah, Christmas season last year was just wonderful. It was filled with activities done with families which was the most important thing to do at Christmas. Not some shopping frenzy after Christmas! What's 2014 going to bring? I don't know yet but I just want my family to be safe and healthy, and I want to make sure we're going to have lots of fun as well!

Summer's gone, autumn is here

2013-09-29T01:04:00.001-07:00

Oh wow...look at the time. Where has it been? The last time I wrote in here was June, the beginning of summer; now, it's already the end of September. Let's just say, I had the best time of summer. I've gone north to Vancouver, BC with my parents and several times back and forth to Seattle. One of those trips was for my birthday celebration and I had a blast with my family. We've gone to lots of road trips this year, tiring but of course we always came home with memorable experiences. Life has gone back to normal since school started and I hope I can go back to writing...

The incredibly shrinking waist

2013-06-16T21:34:00.001-07:00

When I logged in to the dashboard I had 2 drafts left untouched since March. My intention of writing doesn't have the power to march on forever anymore :)

Lots has happened since March. I went to Bay area on President's day to visit my brother-in-law and his wife. Hubby and I dropped non-stop for about 12 hours from Oregon to California; we did it during the night and we only stopped for restroom breaks. I had to drink coffee to stay awake, but consequently, I had to stop frequently for a break. It wasn't as bad. Why did I have to write this particular information, I had no idea :P

Highlights from the trip were visiting Google headquarter (courtesy of my brother-in-law), taking photographs of Golden Gate Bridge at dusk (wish my lens were wider & my camera body was full-frame), eating at Bar Tartine & Bi-Rite Creamery (wish I could've gone to Mission Chinese Food as well); all done in a perfect West Coast weather in February. I wanted to go back again...I really left my heart in San Francisco.

Then in March, came spring break. We went south again but this time we veered to the east a bit. The vacation destination this time was Las Vegas. I didn't intend to go anywhere during the break, but an opportunity came to spend a few days in Las Vegas for cheap so hey, let's just go while we still could. This time, the highlights from the trip were watching Cirque de Soleil's Love Beatles (love, love the show; had a bartender flirting with me, a good looking one too), went to Death Valley State Park (too little time for such a big park), ordered food from Lotus of Siam & Monta, bought macarons from Payard Pattisserie & Bouchon (yummy food will always be on my radar), and of course, took picture in front of the famous Las Vegas sign (just to proof that we were there). Las Vegas was fun but there was way too many people in the city.

All these trips, eating out, and such should've put impact on my weight but yet, I've managed to lose my last 5 stubborn pounds. My weight is back to where I was before I was pregnant and it took me 11 years to lose it :D Way funnyyy... I'm now down one clothes size. Happily, I now can claim that my waist is shrinking and my tummy is flatter. But it isn't without hard work that I had to do and I've to keep it up. I'm feeling great and I haven't gotten sick for almost a year. Now, the big question is if I want to keep losing some more or keep the current weight. The way my summer schedule looks like, it seems that I might lose a few more pounds ;)

Question? Answer?

2013-01-27T00:00:00.000-08:00

Today someone commented on my appearance. She said,"Looks like you've lost some weights." My first response was that because I work in a different school that demands my walking to several parts of the building that perhaps I've lost some weights.

But back home, I was thinking about it again. Whatever she meant by that actually? Did she think I was plump before and now I look thinner? Or was I thin before and looking much thinner now suits me better?

On my previous post, I wrote that I've lost some weights. That doesn't mean that I'm alarmingly looking like an anorexic. Perhaps I'm sending a wrong message to people here :)

That's why a particular male member of my family dislike commenting to a female species anything about her appearance; it'll just mess up the relationship :)

Blue as the sky

2013-01-26T20:13:00.000-08:00

January started relatively calm. My 2-week break from work in December/January proved to be beneficial for my body. I was experiencing discomfort on my left knee for a few weeks before the break started. At one point, it hurt for me to try to bend it; and I thought it looked a little swollen. I used analgesic cream, cold/warm compress, but nothing worked to end the discomfort. I trudged on. I still walked but half-heartedly.

In the beginning of the break, I did some walking but slowly stopped because I got busy with holiday preparation. In a way, I rested. I didn't remember if I did some stretching exercises or not. Interestingly, the knee started to get better. Towards the end, I didn't experience anymore pain and it wasn't swollen anymore.

When I went back to work, my whole body felt new again and of course, I resumed my walking. Now, even, I started to add a couple of jogging days in the week. I guess, rest was all I needed.

To my delight, I lost few more pounds without having to do anything. Well...except maybe those jogging days :) Diet was the same. Green juice is still going strong. My pants are getting loser too. Just last weekend I went to the mall thinking that I was gonna walk around, a little window shopping. Lo and behold, I found a cute boyfriend jeans on sale in Gap. The price was right, the fit was right as well. I was so giddy to be able to fit into that size :) Without making a resolution I've succeeded an unspoken resolution.

This month is not without its drama. Sadness came in the middle of January. My co-worker lost her mother unexpectedly. I wasn't so sure if it's something to do with her heart but she was quite old though didn't suffer in any illnesses. My co-worker and I have become closed since we worked in another school previously and especially now. My heart is broken as well and everytime I see her mom's photo in her Facebook, tears well up in my eyes. To lose someone so close who lived together for many years must have been extremely hard to bear.

This year will be a year with several road trips that I've already planned although none of it will be in summer. One will come soon and I can't wait for it. I just love going somewhere. Don't you?

The day after Christmas

2012-12-26T22:43:00.000-08:00

I quickly go back to normal :) Listening to Ellie Goulding, Florence Welch and the like on my iPod. Oh, and a bit of shopping therapy did cheer me up as well. Not much to buy but little somethings for delicious treats.

I gotta put my mind back to assignments. It's been pretty hard wrapping my head around them during holiday season. Tomorrow is the day. And to bake Parker House rolls along with it.

But how's Christmas? It's good, peaceful and familiar. Didn't do tons of baking, which was a good plan. I did quite enjoy the laziness; two type of cookies proved to be enough and they're good recipes!

This year my husband and I kept our resolution of making sure our checking account is intact during the holiday season :) Nobody's gone overboard and I'm so happy to see positive numbers (and more) all month. He got what he wanted and I got some nifty gifts for myself.

So life's back to normal. Sort of. Looking forward to the new year.

I can't make you love me

2012-11-30T22:50:00.001-08:00

A long time ago. I should have listened to this before I laid my eyes on you and fell for you. Now you are someone else's and I can't make you love me.

A flicker of happiness

2012-11-07T17:06:00.001-08:00

After a disappointing and defeating last night, I've a glint of happiness in my unexcited life.

It came in the form of a under 4-ft tall human being, with curly blonde hair and a ponytail. This is a girl who likes ketchup with everything she eats and whenever she has breadsticks for lunch, she'd automatically ask for ketchup.

Last week I didn't any, so she dumped the content of her lunch tray in the trash can without a sliver of guilt. But I was taken aback because I knew she'd eat those if I had a bottle of ketchup.

Today I made sure I brought a bottle of ketchup with me. At the end of lunch, she approached the trash can and I caught up with her. I asked her if she ate those breadsticks and if she had ketchup with them. Wholeheartedly she said yes.

And then, came the surprise:

"Can I give you a hug?" she questioned me.

I wasn't sure if that what I heard the first time, so I asked her to repeat that.

"Can I give you a hug?" she repeated her question.

"Of course!" came my reply.

And that was it, she gave me her tiny hug.

And it meant a lot to me.

I felt like there's a hope being a citizen in this messed-up world.

A walk in the woods

2012-11-03T16:57:00.001-07:00

Yes, literally, a walk in the woods. We, myself and my son, weren't in the mood to go sit in the pews in a building called church today; so we went for a walk in Tryon Creek. We started around 11:11 am and went on a long loop. We finished around 12:24 pm, our shoes were muddy, our pants splattered by dirt. Surprisingly my son was quite springy all the time we're walking; a couple of days ago he complained of earache, tired feet, and fatigue shoulders. Not sure what ailment he's suffering from :)

I loved the damp air of the woods filling my lungs. The colors of the leaves along with the shadows of the trees cast a serene image, it assaulted my mind and it got me feeling immeasurable pleasure such that I felt thankful to be able to enjoy the beauty in this ordinary landscape. A simple life is much more bearable than a complicated one.

About past experiences

2012-10-27T23:39:00.001-07:00

Aww, I'm now crazy about The Innocence Mission's songs. The singer, Karen Peris, has a haunting and ethereal voice which I love so much. And the songs...such beautiful lyrics. This one is just the best in describing traveling--which makes me want to travel so bad...

"A man said Why, why does traveling

in cars and in trains make him feel sad,

a beautiful sadness.

I've felt this before.

It's the people in the cities you'll never know,

it is everything you pass by,

wondering, will you ever return?

The colors of rowboats, the greens and the blues.

Orange grove side streets you only see halfway.

And beaches in winter

and when kites are flown.

It's the people in the cities you'll never know,

it is everything you pass by,

wondering, will you ever return?"

We shall know no sin nor sorrow

2012-10-15T21:59:00.003-07:00

Finish

"When they ring the golden bells for you and me

When our days shall know their number

When in death we sweetly slumber

When the King commands the spirit to be free

Nevermore with anguish laden

We shall reach that lovely Eden"

Recently I listened to this song again--When They Ring the Golden Bells--at a time when some people from my circle of friends lost their loved ones. One month there's this news that my primary school lost her spouse due to cancer. I was reconnected with her just this year and frankly, I don't know much about her family life. Her photos in Facebook seem devoid of her spouse--only her children and herself mostly. I didn't dare asking her anything for I didn't want to be viewed as intrusive. Her husband left her and their three children.

Just two weeks ago, a church friend lost her little sister unexpectedly. She was only 34 years old, and she left a 3-year baby and a husband. I went to her celebration last weekend and it's hard to imagine her life cut so short.

My best friend's father-in-law fell down on concrete in front of his house about two months ago. Now he lays in coma in a nursing home after spending a month or so in an ICU. He's in his 80's.

At times like this, tears freely flow. Life is hard and short but at the same it can be sweet and forever. Words can't describe the sadness I feel for them...

A little too close to being dangerous

2012-08-22T23:30:00.000-07:00

This episode on Tuesday afternoon really rattled my entire being. Never before have I been that afraid of my life, my son & husband's lives.

I'm going to write it here so I will remember it as an event that happened "once" in my life. Only once, thank you, hopefully no more.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012.
The day started as normal. I woke up in the morning with my husband slowly stirring next to me. We stayed in bed for a minute too long, it felt so good to in bed together. Our bed is the best, especially with the right bed sheet; smooth and clean. I finally got up around 8:30-ish, I like this kind of summer day. A lazy one with no real agenda except for going to my son's school to register and maybe stop by at the grocery store to pick up milk which was almost gone. Sure enough, when I prepared breakfast, the milk was all used up. My son complained that his tasted funny. I smelled it, a little funky yeah, so I drank a bit. Oh, yuck, this was definitely going bad. I drained all his milk to the sink and used up our non-fat milk for him. As usual, I made green juice for me and drank a glass of milk as well. I found that green juice was a really good diet for my body. The bloating was gone, the famished feeling in the afternoon was lessen if I drank it for snack, especially with a spoonful of chia seed in it. After breakfast I changed, getting ready for my one hour walk at the school track.

My friend voxered me to voxer her back because she might be able to walk with me. I voxered her right away saying I was on the way there. But turned out she already walk an hour earlier and there was no way she would walk over the track and walked another hour. So it was just me and my radio for four miles. It was a little cool in the morning, I didn't think that it would get any hotter than 75 degrees. Lately, the weather had turned to be a little chilly in the morning. Hot weather only came for a week in Oregon, it never stayed longer than that. With school was around the corner, I felt that the summer had gone so fast. I couldn't believe that it was the end of August already. I would miss summer.

After my walk I went back home and after changing to house clothes, I started cooking lunch. This lunch was actually an assignment for a magazine; the deadline was looming next week. It went quite well I guess, though the flavor was kind of bland, simple, straightforward. But if it was paired with pasta, butter, and herbs, it actually wasn't bad. My son and husband each got a portion, but I didn't eat it since I had already eaten cheese sandwich before I started cooking. Too hungry to wait.

I tidied up after lunch and it was close to time to go to my son's school. We drove there and the sun started to warm the weather slowly. At the school, the registration went smoothly, I had all the papers, all the checks. I also saw my friend whose dessert was waiting in my car. I made that for her because her husband won the school auction last year. I usually donated my baked goods to the auction every year. We also went to see the progress in the school's new addition. The rooms looked good, though not finished. My son's class would be in a room in the church until the room for it would be done sometime before December. I was pretty excited to see the addition, I thought they did a pretty good job and there's gonna be extra rooms for the middle high schoolers.

After lingering at the school a little too long, we finally decided to leave. We had to stop by at Fred Meyer to buy the milk. I figured since the one on Estacada exit was the closest, we would go there. It's only milk, nothing else. We drove there and arrived a little after 3:30 pm. I grabbed a cart and my husband and son decided to go electronics while I went to get the milk. As I was walking in the aisle to the back, my phone rang. I picked it up and ah, it's my friend who's the lead for the school we're going to work together. She started the conversation when I suddenly heard a loud pop. It sounded so much like a balloon popped; then a woman screamed bloody murder. I was still half engrossed in the conversation when I turned my head towards the checkout at the far end of the aisle. I saw a commotion, a scuffle, and some men jumped all over each other. How strange, I thought to myself, was there a fight or some kind. I remembered looking at a woman closer to me, and her face had a questioning expression as well. While I was thinking, I was getting close to the milk refrigerator when I started to see people around me running towards the back of the store. I knew that near the milk display there should be an exit towards the back. I started to think this was something wrong about everything. I didn't pay any attention anymore to the phone so I had to abruptly say goodbye to my friend without telling her anything. I was following a bunch of people who drifted to the freezer. This was strange, until finally people stopped walking and started to ask, why we're going to the freezer, this wasn't an exit, was there an exit somewhere, did anybody know what's happened, nobody had an exact answer. And I guessed the intercom was on because we could hear a man shouted, cursed, or made some kind of angry rant towards someone. It was eerily terrifying; every face looked like they were seeing ghost. Finally a minute later, an employee pointing to a door, that's the emergency door. So we all went out that way, ignoring the loud alarm that wailed. I started calling my husband phone, trying desperately to know where he and my son were. My mind was racing, I needed to know if they got out safely. The electronic department was so close the checkout that I was afraid to think of anything else. After the third time I finally reached my husband, and he told me that he and my son were already outside. I walked briskly towards the front of the store. Everybody was outside, cars started to leave the parking lot, and we heard police sirens wailing. I got into my car and saw that my husband and son waited near the front of the store with everybody else. The police cars, ambulance, fire department started to gather at that exit as well. I grabbed my son's wrist and half pulled him to the car, we just needed to leave.

In the car, we're all silent, trying to digest what just happened. Only then I started to shudder. This whole thing was like a dream, a crazy dream that was. In the end, we went to another Fred Meyer to buy the milk. In all the craziness, this regular normal as buying milk needed to be done, to make us normal again, to forget that. We just wanted to get on with our lives, get home, and be done with the day. At home, the TV had already buzzing with the news about the shooting. Only then I learned about the shooting. There were a husband, his wife, his son, and his grandson on the checkout. When the wife wanted to put in his pin to pay, this man behind them kept trying to see what the numbers were. The husband didn't like what this man was doing to them, it seemed odd and very instrusive. Apparently they got into fight about that and this man pulled a gun and shot the husband's leg. The husband actually grabbed the man's hand holding the gun, so the shot was pointed downward and some other customers jumped all over this man and subdued him. The store was opened again after four hours closure.

I couldn't sleep right away last night, seemed like my body resisted sleep. When sleep came, thankfully there was no dream. Today I felt much better and my son didn't have any nightmare from the incident. We were thankful that God kept us in His care!

Paintings in the sky

2012-07-13T21:47:00.002-07:00

Field of wildflowers

It's July and it's almost the middle of the month already! Earlier this month we celebrated the Independence Day which we celebrated by hosting a BBQ lunch for a couple of families. My mom and I cooked several main dishes and desserts, all of them were Indonesian foods. There was a snafu with my grill in which the heat was very slow and not hot. Cooking satay took almost two hours, the kids started to eat kerupuk a little too much. Even the cendol, which was supposed to be a dessert, was attacked right away. But finally the main dishes were done and we ate merrily away. Everything tasted very good and with good companies, we enjoyed our time together.

Later that day, I decided to go to Happy Valley City Park to see fireworks display. I've never been there before, and I heard it was one of the biggest shows in the metro area. My parents, son, and me piled up in the car and drove to the park about an hour and half before dusk. My husband stayed behind because he wanted to catch up sleep early, but already I knew that he's gonna regret it. I was a little discouraged seeing the crowds in the neighborhood at first but by luck I found a better place to see the show. The secret was not at the park itself, but away and at the opposite of the park; that's where the person in charge actually fired the fireworks. We found a place to spread our blanket and folding chairs by a strip of grass by the parking lot. Of course at first I didn't know that was the strategic place, only after they shot the firework I understood how lucky I was to be where I was.

The fireworks started at around 10 p.m. and they exploded right on top of our heads. It was a great show with lots of boom, splash, and color. They really looked like paintings in the sky. I will be back there next year!

Jump Up!

2012-06-21T09:07:00.000-07:00

Levitated at Cannon Beach

Two weeks ago I went camping with my family and parents. We stayed in a yurt in Fort Stevens State Park, it was a first for us and I think we quite enjoyed it. It was pretty basic accommodation, but it was warm and the beds were comfy. There were quite a lot of mosquitoes even though the weather was not very warm for June. My parents' church group organized the camping, and there were about 10 families that went camping. Some were in the yurts and a couple of families were in the tents. This was our first time camping (I wasn't sure about camping the tents but yurts/cabins is definitely the place to be when camping) and since my mom can't sleep in tents for sure, we wouldn't even think about doing it that way.

Grass stalks

The first night we roasted some marshmallows and had s'mores by the fire. It was such a great experience, the kids got along pretty quick and they had fun playing together. The adults were ready for s'mores as well! We wrapped up the first night at the right time since less than half hour after that the rain came down really hard. But since we're sleeping in the yurt, we're comfy and warm; though the sound of rain on the yurt was something I needed to get used to :)

Astoria Column

Astoria Bridge

The morning of the second day started a bit on the cold side and was drizzly on and off. The group had a team who cooked hot breakfast which was so delicious. Everything was yummy when somebody else cooked it! After breakfast the families who have children went for a walk to nearby Coffenbury Lake to do free fishing derby organized by the park. The lake was beautiful and quite big. My son learned how to fish right there but he didn't get anything :( After about an hour he's done with fishing and we decided to go to Cannon Beach to catch the sandcastle event. We stopped by the Ecola Seafood Market to have clam chowder and fish and chips lunch before headed to the beach. The sun started to show and it was what we needed. We didn't stay too long at the beach before we headed to Astoria to see the column. Astoria column is a great place to see 180 degree view of the town and the surrounding area. Ice cream treat was the next stop before we headed back to the camp for dinner. My husband joined us that day since he had to work first, my son and I were happy to have him join us again. Afterwards, we went to the beach to see Peter Iredale shipwreck and the sunset. It was beautiful view but sadly, I didn't bring my camera. I thought I wasn't able to see the sunset at all. And the night ended with another gathering around the fire, more s'mores, and an "roti panggang" impromptu. We talked until almost midnight with kids running around still in full energy.

View of Columbia River

DS & DH

Red door at Fort Stevens

Bunker at Fort Stevens

The last day started with another great hot breakfast made with leftover food then we packed our stuff and headed out to Fort Stevens museum. We traipsed around the fort and ended the walk on the lawn to watch the firing of the cannon. Then it was time for lunch, we headed to Astoria to grab quick lunch at one of the Mexican restaurants. We're home by around 5, exhausted but had so much fun.

Happiness abounds like May flowers

2012-05-28T18:39:00.001-07:00

Cherry blossom, late April

It's May, it's the time of the year. Seventeen years has passed and I think each year brings us closer than ever. There's comfort of being with someone who I know and love deeply, it's a good feeling.

Happy Anniversary and of course, a happy birthday as well to you, my better half.

Someone's not happy, obviously :)

A Little Greek

2012-05-24T22:30:00.000-07:00

Supermoon May 6, 2012

So I was reading a chapter from The Children's Hour tonight to my son. The Children's Hour is a set of books containing stories from various themes; what I read was from book three and it has stories from the Classics. I don't know much about Greek stories other than reading some here and there. This particular chapter is from stories from Herodotus, and the title is Arion and the Dolphin.

As I was reading further into the story, I found out that there's the name Nausicaa. As a fan of Hayao Miyazaki's movies, I was familiar with the name but didn't know where it came from. The name in the story is used for a ship, and in Homer's Odyssey, she's a one of the characters. See, I haven't read Odyssey so I don't know anything :) But it's always interesting to see where name came from in stories.

And interestingly, there's an island named Lesbos and the inhabitants are called Lesbians. See, more interesting facts coming out of Greek :) It's just fascinating and empowering, isn't it?

The photo above obviously has nothing to do with what I was talking about. But it's another fascinating phenomenon in the world that I got a chance to record it.

"a little buoyant after the fact"

Not anybody's fault

2012-04-21T00:00:00.000-07:00

What I write here is what I have in mind. Perhaps what I'm thinking is a one-sided viewpoint. Perhaps instead of writing here, I could send questions to those advice columns, as a way of justifying one's feeling on a matter. I don't have all the answers, I mostly think of any way to help me accept whatever reasons or perceptions people have on me. Perhaps I'm overreacting, or too sensitive, or taking things wayyyy to personal. But I couldn't help it. And I think it is being human, with all these emotions and feelings, especially being a woman, that I think of this and that too much. So, this doesn't mean that I will hate the person or the family. No, this is just an exercise for myself to be able to grow up, move on with life, and enjoy what I have. I just need to write it down, that's all.

A year ago, I was asked by a niece of my best friend if I was able to be her photographer in her wedding day. I immediately said yes, I'd do it. Even if I had trepidation that I wouldn't do as good a job as a real wedding photographer, I still said yes. It's because I was very happy for her and wanted to be part of her happiness that day. And, I'd be able to see my best friends because I knew they'd come.

After talking back and forth, and she also inquired local photographers to see if any of them would have reasonable rates that she could afford, she decided to go with a local photographer. She lives in the East Coast and it actually was better for her to go with a local one because she/he would know the area better than me, and thus I'm sure it would go well. So then she told me that she decided to go that route. And I understood.

Now, I assumed (this is never a good idea, to assume something) that I would still be able to attend the wedding because she has indirectly told me that she's getting married, hasn't she? Come this year, and this being in April, I was wondering if she would the invitation sooner or later (her wedding day is in June). Out of curiosity, I asked my other best friend if she has received the invitation. I've talked casually about my situation with other friends, and they thought if she has a June wedding, she should've sent invitations way ahead especially for out-of-towners. Immediately, I had a bad feeling that she decided not to invite me. For any reasons that I don't know and I can't explain to my own mind why. My best friend's answer came back as a yes, she did receive it and yes, I wasn't invited. Bless her, she went to a great length, she even called the person under the pretension that if I was invited she's going to share a room with me.

So, there you go. I'm quite sad. Rejection always hurts. All this time, I've thought otherwise. And since she befriended me in Facebook at the time she inquired about photographer, I occasionally saw her posting about her upcoming wedding preparation, people I know who is invited talked about the plan to go there, etc. I quite understand that for people wedding is supposed to be their day, they get to choose who they're going to invite, who they want to be with; I get that. What I don't get is why she contacted me about wedding photography if in the end she wouldn't invite me at all. Does the logic go like this: if I'm used I'm invited, but if I've no use I'm not invited? And her aunt is my best friend. And I've actually known her since she was young. Those last two statement don't matter obviously.

I don't want to get the lesson, I'm selfish and I'm hurt. I will move on with my life and will try to forget this, but oh boy it's hard. I feel like I want to get mad with my best friend, but she has no part in the drama. She still acts no different towards me, regardless of what's happened and she has no control over what her niece will do. Well, maybe not; maybe she could persuade her strongly to invite me. I don't want to think bad about her, but it's so hard to stop thinking about the possibility that she could've done something. I could talk till my mouth foams, it still doesn't change the fact.

So if you read this, forgive me for ranting. It's the only way for me to release the steam. I hope you'll have a great wedding day and you'll be happy.

Two books I can't quite finish

2012-03-15T22:05:00.000-07:00

I'm struggling to finish these 2 books that I borrowed from the library. The first one is Blindness of the Heart by Julia Franck. It's such a slow-paced storyline that I'm afraid I'm getting impatient and frankly, quite bored with it. The story is nonetheless interesting but the way it's written is very depressing and tedious. I feel like I just want to skip everything and go to the last page. Ugghh. It's sitting, gathering dust on my bedside table.

The second book is Daughter of Heaven by Leslie Li. The first few chapters are very interesting, funny, and short. But there again, I'm not even halfway through the book and it's been 2 weeks since I've borrowed it. It seems like I'm not motivated enough to pick up one of the books and read it at night.

Why oh why...

Rockaway Beach

2012-03-05T22:32:00.002-08:00

Seagull soldiers

A few weeks back I had a chance to go to Rockaway Beach with my family and parents. I didn't really plan for the trip; President's Day weekend loomed ahead and I didn't have anything planned really. I did asked for a personal day on Friday so that made my weekend off to go on a bit longer. When my husband and I decided we're going to the beach, I thought of my church friend's house on Rockaway. We've never been there but I've heard about it from another friend. I thought, why not, though the beach might be so blustery this time of year but it could also be fair. Well, it's good that I had a positive way of looking at things :)

We got there on Saturday afternoon after church in the morning. We took my parents' car this time since it's bigger than our car. Let me tell you, even that car could barely contain our belongings. The thing was that we tended to pack too much food, although this time since we're thinking of catching crabs and eating them at the beach house, we packed slightly less. What we need really is a much bigger car. I'm deviating from telling the real story here. Anyway, we got to the beach and the weather was fair. We stopped at the Blue Heron Cheese Company. Trying out wine samples with my dad, it's $5 for 5 glasses. I really liked chocolate wine, which was basically chocolate added to red wine. It's good with desserts! Determined to get it at local grocery store on the way back since we found out that the aforementioned cheese company charged $5 more than regular store.

When we got to the house, we're pleasantly surprised to see that the house was much nicer than the photos in the flyer my friend sent me. It was clean, new, comfy, and had pretty much everything we needed for the stay except there's no cable TV or Internet connection. For dinner, my mom had already made bakcang (rice dumplings), and we chilled out for the rest of the day. Nighttime came and Nathaniel was excited to have a movie night there. We watched Marley and Me. Hmmm. I wasn't sure if that's an appropriate movie rated for a PG audience. Too much smoochy-smoochy between Jennifer Anniston's character and Owen Wilson's character. Was it just a ploy to get her gaining some audience? Don't know, but I loathed her in that movie. She's actually a meh actress to me.

The next day, surprise surprise, it was very beautiful day. The sun came out and there's no rain in sight. After pancake breakfast, we went to walk on the beach for a little while. Mom actually walked quite far with her cane accompanied by Dad; they're pretty excited to be able to finally walked on an Oregon beach! :) After spending time there, we went to Tillamook Cheese Factory. It's our first time there, I was amazed that for many years we've lived in Oregon, this was the one time we put our feet in the building. The self-guided tour was short so we moved quickly to the cheese sampling line and the store. We finished by eating two scoops of Tillamook ice cream for each of us.

He caught one!

Fresh oysters and crabs

Steve-O

My husband's friend came all the way from Beavercreek to join us that day and after a quick lunch, we set out to find if we could catch fresh crabs. My Dad and I had a plan to cook steak and crabs for dinner. Of course, my Mom then got excited and she wanted to cook oyster sauce crab dish as well. Alas, we the newbies didn't know that to catch crabs, we had to start out early in the morning when the tides were low. So by the time we reached Kelly's Brighton Marina, the crowds had gone home. Luckily we still could buy fresh caught crabs and some oysters there. Off we went home with our "catch of the day". My mom and I set out to work on the crabs soon and I already marinated the steak with dried oregano, salt, pepper, and olive oil earlier. Soon dinner was ready, and boy, those crabs were totally delicious. Fresh, plump, and juicy. The steak was very good as well, I think the seasonings were my favorite to have on steak so far.

The last night we were there was another movie night and a long-winded chat. All of us retired to beds too late but with happy and full tummies. The next day, the rain returned in full force. We spent half a day taking family pictures :) Aww...I just got a new "baby" that I had to try on.

All in all, the weekend was fabulous. It was always too short but we found our favorite place to hang out in the future!

Beer caps

From fragments of life

2012-02-04T22:56:00.000-08:00

Life can be so monotonous yet from it we get our sustenance.

Two months have passed from the beginning of the year. To say lots of things have happened since then it's not an exaggeration. Chinese New Year came and went; it's so nice to be able to celebrate with my parents again this year. My son understood the power of doing something embarrassing for him but he was rewarded with pocket money ;) He's quite a literal guy; if he didn't know what it meant to do "pai-pai" to his elders, he wouldn't do it at all. Luckily, he's learned the power of money! My family was asked to join a little celebration by one of my Indonesian friends in her house. It's nothing much, but I'm touched by her friendship.

For some of my friends, untimely death of their parents brought much sorrow this year. One mom passed away before Christmas, and one dad passed away just after his daughter gave birth to his new grandson. Life is unpredictable yet we must move on.

This month is another assignment month for me. The last big one was just done this week. Photos were delivered, paycheck was received. If only it went faster than I thought. But oh well, one must learn from something new. All in all, the photos were gorgeous, I couldn't believe it myself. I just got a new one about 3 weeks ago from my editor. She, who now lives in New Zealand with her hubby, asked me to do several writing pieces along with the photographs for the spring/summer edition. Life can be hectic yet we gain employment from it. I researched day and night and filled my head with schedule and visions. The first one is done today; I can breathe a little relief. I've prepared some that needed to be done for tomorrow. Tomorrow is another racing day to get 2 done. And the next weekend it's another 2.

But, it seemed like God could hear my plead for better weekend. He showed me the sun, gorgeous sky, and dry weather. It's perfect. It couldn't be much better than this.

By the end of the month I'll be done with 9 things to do. And some more. I'm looking forward to that "some more."

Updating

2011-12-30T22:53:00.000-08:00

Where have you been?
I've always been here. I've been trying to write but lots of things are happening I haven't gotten a time to sit like always.

I'm doing a food photography assignment for a client and it has taken lots of my free time. This assignment is particularly challenging because I have not cooked this type of dish before. The sheer size of the dish is enormous, but twice already it went to family friends who helped us finished it. That's the thing with shooting a cooked dish, the leftover is quite a bit and for the most part, edible. I don't feel like complaining because when it's said and done, I'd like to get a new lens for my camera :) But at times, I felt downhearted because I didn't feel like I did it correctly. Of course, this can be viewed as an exercise for me to get better and getting paid while experimenting.

There's an agony in the beginning when I was contacted to do the job. I wasn't a professional photographer, but I've longed to take on another challenge in food photography and this opportunity was simply couldn't be passed on. I spent some nights fretting about the terms of contract I had to write with lots of terminology that I've to learned quickly. So many things to learn, so little time to digest it all. Fortunately, the people whose I'm doing business are very warm and easy-going that it wasn't as scary as I thought. By being a local company, they're readily accessible for me and very helpful. Plus, the project goes on in a slow pace so I don't have to hurry; that's one thing that I like. I'm just praying that after this one, they'll have more projects for me to do.

Sigh...above paragraphs were written before Christmas and now it's after Christmas and I haven't even published it yet.

Christmas went well but I didn't get a chance to do anything relaxing!! Why do I always stay busy even though I'm not working? We had dinner with a family friend on Christmas Eve and we enjoyed my mom's cooking as well as mine. Made salmon Wellington with cold cucumber-dill sauce. It was okay, but I think I need to work on it more. My mom made Indonesian fried noodles and Kalasan chicken; I got to be her line cook and dishwasher person. She got to be the chef, she cooked, I cleaned. This Christmas I got to make stollen and panettone. The stollen was great, it was beautiful as well as delicious. The panettone on the other hand was okay in shape. I was thinking of dividing it into 2 so my parents would get one, but the recipe wasn't suitable to be divided into 2. The result was that the panettone was small even though it baked successfully. The taste was nice, a little dry, but still nice. These 2 breads are gonna be a tradition to make every Christmas.

And the project? I finally did it again on Thursday. The day was bright enough to get good light. The client was happy but she hasn't decided which one to choose from yet. I breathed a sigh of relief.

For the antidote of stressful week, I'm gonna have a little party tomorrow with one of N's friend's family. It'd be just a dessert party since we'd be able to sit and chat freely without having to prepare elaborate dinner, plus the kids will have time to play together. I just baked a lemon souffle cheesecake and am planning to make biscotti tomorrow if I've enough time. And speaking of relaxing, I also had a massage today. Perfect for ending the week! Happy New Year, see you again next year.

Discussion

2011-08-26T23:21:00.000-07:00

It started this way:

Someone is highly offended as being perceived as a different race than what one's originally from. From there one made comments that racism was involved, one was being treated differently, people make stereotypical comments because of one's facial features and name. One concluded that American people is dumb for not knowing how to differentiate a person's ethnic origin. Too lazy to learn, too bold to ask stupid and direct question.

This leads to a discussion that in the Portland area there are still lots of racism going on, especially when almost 90% of the people are whites. This someone feels that the gap between the have and the have-nots is too great. People in the US is getting too materialistic, all they think is about money and capitalism.

Then it leads to that the US doesn't really have a culture at all. What is the US culture? Is it by being a couch potato, watching football, drinking beers, etc. There seems no positive thing to follow.

And it's on to why the US is meddling into other country's business. Why is it that the US seems want to be recognized as the biggest and better country in the world?

In the end, after trying exhaustively to let her see the positive aspects of being an American, of the US as a country; I forgot to ask her the reason why did she come to the US in the first place. She's only been here for four years. Why did she want to go to a university here, why did she want to learn what is being taught in the classrooms if she doesn't agree with what the US believes. And why did she marry an American?

For someone who's very angry with America in general, she should see America outside of Portland. Travel around the country and see the people of America. Learn to appreciate what this country is all about. I have a feeling she's comparing America to her homeland, which has completely different culture than here. It's a little sad that one can be so hostile and yet at the same time makes a living here.

Hurry up, write some more, post the notes

2011-08-21T00:11:00.000-07:00

I though of sneak in some notes to post while I can. These next three weeks I've to do an assignment of eight recipes with photos to turn in by the second week of September. I'm in a hurry!

Let's go back to the last week of July. I went to Eastern Oregon with my family and my parents for five-day vacation. The timing was perfect, though the weather was awful in Portland area, once we past Hood River it turned out to be so nice. Eastern part of Oregon can be quite dry and hot during the summer unless it is around the mountainous areas. We're going to visit Pendleton, Enterprise, Joseph, and Wallowa Lake. I've been wanting to go to Wallowa Lake for a long time; a desire fueled by one of my son's preschool moms' story of growing up there and after reading a book by Ann Rule (it's a morbid decision!). The other factor deciding why we went there was that there's Chief Joseph the last weekend of July. I've always wanted to know what's it all about.

We stopped overnight at Pendleton and we visited the place where the Pendleton Round-Up will take place on September 14-17. We also visited Pendleton Woolen Mills and went on a tour of the mills. We drove on to Enterprise where it's going to be our base for three nights. The motel we picked was situated on the outskirt of Enterprise. The location was actually very beautiful, with sweeping valley and open landscape bordered by Wallowa mountains. It was very picturesque, almost like the Alps. The motel's neighbor was a ranch, though we couldn't see the house/barn, there were always horses on the other side of the fences. A sighting that we'd appreciate later on.

With a population of 96% whites, we stood out as tourists. Sometimes it's disconcerting, but we plowed on. Not that we experienced bad incidents, it's just pretty plain we're different. The next day we went to Wallowa Lake, a good decision because the weather couldn't be perfect. We wanted to go the tram to the top of Mt Howard, but it was closed in the morning due to maintenance. We went to the lake first because of that, and me, my son and my hubby rented a paddle boat. We had a good time in the lake, but I found out many days later that I got sunburned in the lake. For lunch, there's nothing like a picnic by the lake; my son also braved himself playing in the icy lake water. Each night was finished with a jump in the motel's pool for an hour, and not too mention sunbathing.

We woke up early the next day to go to Chief Joseph Days Grand Parade on Main Street. After parking our car, we chose one sidewalk and plopped down on the ground waiting until the parade started. Chief Joseph was the last head of Nez Perce tribe in Oregon and his remnant people were apparent in the parade. It was a short parade, people were in good spirit and the population of Joseph must have swelled twice than its normal size. Afterwards people wandered in town looking for food and entertainment. There's not much going on anymore other than the rodeo and traditional Indian dance that day. We waited for the longest time to get lunch at one restaurant and it was getting very hot so we decided to go back to the motel. For two nights in a row, we visited the horses. They're gentle animals, and were eager to meet us, hoping that we had treats for them.

The nighttimes there were surreal, there's almost this stillness that settled in the town and it got dark completely. At the same time, the sunset was always spectacular, I loved how the sun spread its rays and how the color of the sky changed. That's what I cherished the most while I was there. It's so much different than the city life, there's a peacefulness.

I'm only posting several pictures, for more please visit my Eastern Oregon album in Flickr.

An assumption

2011-08-19T22:30:00.000-07:00

It's shocking when people made an assesment about my age. It's like, really? Not in condescending way actually, it's actually a compliment. Maybe if younger people stop wearing so much make-up on their faces, then they'll look younger. Or is it maybe that I've to wear more make-up to reveal my true age?

Somebody mentioned to me that I looked around late 20's to early 30's. Life is so much happier when one made that assumption :)

I reached the milestone

2011-08-09T23:10:00.000-07:00

Sunset at Enterprise, Oregon

My hands are touching it, but my body doesn't need to do the same
Teach it to be forever young
A reflection of forty years ago, images flashing, past
They're behind
It's time to live the life to the fullest
Since I still have time