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When I think back...

2009-11-14T19:12:00.000-08:00

When I think back when my son was starting to eat solid food, he wasn't too keen with the texture of solid food. I struggled to keep cereal in his mouth, more often than not he gagged on it and we had to stop feeding. The same went with the regular milk. After 13 months of solid breastmilk, he balked at drinking regular milk. He even didn't want to touch bottles while still breastfeeding, I was often up to the point of crying everytime I tried it. It didn't help that he wasn't such a good sleeper either. Because I could only breastfed him at night, I ended up doing most of nightime feeding with him and in the daytime struggled to put him to nap for at least an hour. My husband couldn't help much with milk feeding because he was practically a useless person in this love triangle. There was one point that I thought going out was out of our minds, this baby wouldn't even breastfeeding calmly with all the going-ons around him. For at least three months I had to spoon-fed him regular milk and when I mentioned it to his pediatrician, she didn't dare saying anything contradictory to that. On and on the problem with feeding continued.

Until one day. Or it could be one year that I realized my son is actually a good eater and a good milk drinker. That year is now. This year I saw that his milk consumption is actually up from last year. In one week he could drink one-and-a half gallon milk by himself. He loves drinking milk that he prefers that to anything else almost at any meal. For at least 7 years I kept him on whole milk because he is a skinny little man, this year I switched it to 2% milk because I think that he meets or surpasses his daily requirements of milk.

This kid who detested solid food now eats almost everything on the plate. With the exception of several foods, he is eating what we eat. He still doesn't like mayonnaise based foods like coleslaw, potato salad, macaroni salad. He doesn't ask for desserts too often, he prefers fruits although he is beginning to eat chewing gum and some chocolate candies. He likes my homemade foods very much and misses them whenever we travel and eat out too much. Indonesian or Asian foods are the best he said. He still doesn't ask for seconds too many times but his portion is getting larger already. I got a report from his occasional baby sitter that he ate baked stuffed potatoes and broccoli that she made, even my kids won't touch that, she admonished. I feel so proud of him whenever stranger praises him about his eating choice, I am happy to simply forget those bad years of his not eating this and that.

One thing that hasn't changed since he weaned from breastmilk is that he is still my skinny little man, but now he is a great eater who makes me proud as her mama!

Tough decision

2009-11-07T19:13:00.001-08:00

For a while my husband and I didn't want to get any pet for my son. The only reason was that we like to travel during summer vacation and having a pet could be hindrance. I say a hindrance because if we don't have anybody we know to take care of the pet, we have to hire a pet sitter or put it on a kennel (if it's a dog or a cat). A kennel is a very expensive hotel for a pet, we feel that we don't have the expense to really afford it everytime we want to travel. But, last month we caved in and bought an aquarium and fish for Nathaniel. We started with 2 Tetra fish and 1 cleaner fish. And within a few weeks my husband bought another pair of Tetra and 1 more cleaner fish. Now we officially have a pet at home.

The other night I discussed the possibility that we have to think a plan of who's going to take care of the fish if we're gonna go to Indonesia for possibly a few weeks. I had an idea that it might cheaper to sell the fish and get new fish after we come back. Nathaniel was not amused with the idea :) My husband said, "I thought you like going to Indonesia". He is actually, he always talk about going back to Indonesia and would like to visit it again. Nathaniel answered, "But I love being here with my fish too".

That's a tough decision, huh? I know there's food dispenser and timer for the lamp, but if we were going to go for 4 weeks, that's really tough for the fish too. I'm just afraid that there's a power outtage, leaks, or any unforeseeable incident. I guess the only thing that's bad will be that the fish die. We haven't decided on anything yet and I can see ourselves dwell with this issue every year :)

This is the moment of my life

2009-10-16T17:59:00.000-07:00

"We'll make things right, we'll feel it all tonight

We'll find a way to offer up the night tonight

The indescribable moments of your life tonight

The impossible is possible tonight

Believe in me as I believe in you, tonight"

--Tonight, Tonight - Smashing Pumpkins--

This is my fantasy. A fantasy that is, though not fake, out of my realm. My hands could not reach that high, you see. My heart will stop beating if I see you, I could see my breath fogs up the window.

A dream is always present, at night especially. Whenever I close my eyes, the feeling of closeness between you and me clears up the sky. A dream becomes real in thousand of dreams mesh together to form a tangle of confusion. I do believe we belong, we belong to each other, no one could stop us.

Life would never be the same without you. Life is a chaos which holds its force to push us to see each other eye to eye. My hands try to reach you but you are so far away. My fingers could only trace the outline of your face. I am feeling the coarseness of your face, the slope of your nose, the softness of your eyelashes, the silkiness of your hair. You only make me sigh and wake me up from my dream.

You open up, words coming out of your mouth. I stare hungrily at you, words will not come out of my mouth. You make me feel like a school girl, blushing, crossing my legs, turn my face from you. Why would you do this to me? Is this the moment of my life?

Field trip with the school

2009-10-13T21:37:00.001-07:00

I went with Nathaniel's school to Philip Foster Farm on Wednesday last week and here are some of the photos I took while we were there. This place is registered in National Historic Site and is situated on Barlow Road in Eagle Creek, Oregon.

Just like Nathaniel said, "It's like in Laura's life"--with reference to the Little House on the Prairie's Laura Ingalls ;)

The girls who helped with the kids in the 1800's clothings.

Pulling the hay up in the barn and the kids tried riding on it like a horse.

This is how you grind corns to become cornmeal.

Two cute girls who posed for me, they were giggling before I took the picture.

Coals to be used in the blacksmith's shed.

Hammering away the steel, hard work indeed.

The kids were going to the general store.

Inside the general store, it was a cute store with lots of old-style toys too.

The pathway to the store.

The five pictures below were from the room of Philip Foster's own home:

Old-fashioned doughnuts, just like the one I've made before which was I posted here. I think this one had bits of apples in it. Very delicious!

The lady who fried the doughnuts. She looked just like a woman from the 1800's.

The stove, it's working!

I wish I had a pantry with the all the things inside just like these.

Nathaniel tried washing clothes old-fashioned way, with a washboard.

Hanging the clothes with the pin.

A totally wonderful experience!

He's not the man who you think he is

2009-08-29T22:20:00.000-07:00

Today at Costco I found a man who is staring at me intently. Why? Because this is why...

Everytime people go to Costco, the wholesale store, they have to flash their membership cards to the attendants who usually stand by the entrance. They could stand on the left or right side of the doors and it could be just one person or two on one or both sides.

There were quite a bit of people going in Costco today, and as we were about to enter, I whipped out my card from my purse and flashed it to the guy who was standing on the right side of the entrance. I was kinda surprised to see his eyes went really big and he stared at me quizzically. It's like, why were you showing that to me, lady?? Horrified, realizing what I've done I threw my glance over to the left and saw two ladies with their name cards and finally flashed my card to the right attendants.

And I thought I would die from laughing as I told my husband about the comedy. His comment was why that man stood that way though we both knew that he was waiting for somebody there. Still, this is one good laugh of the day!

when it's done will it ever be done?

2009-08-26T09:36:00.000-07:00

If the title suggests that I'll do another remodeling in the future, it is a likely possibility :)

Two days ago was the last day of the remodeling. Since Wednesday last week I could already move most of the stuff from the garage, I worked almost non-stop for five days my legs and shoulders hurt like I've been running marathon. I still can't stand the dust so I armed myself with a duster and a bucket of soapy water. I cleaned part of my garage on Sunday and was happy that at least the dust was pretty much gone. Most of my baking/cooking books are back in the shelves, that part gives me relief, now I could access my recipes again and am going back to baking!

Looking at the pictures my husband and I took during the remodeling, I found out that we didn't take too many of before pictures. I guess we were fed up with the old style of the house that we didn't bother anymore :) But here are some of the pictures anyway:

My living room after it has been painted and the windows were replaced. The color of the room is in between light brown and green, that's the best description I could offer for a paint that's called coastal path. Before it was painted this color, it was plain white. The windows were of oak stain, same with the baseboards. Now the baseboards and all the trims were painted the same.

The staircase had oak stain on the rails and now were painted kinda tan color with white paint in the entire entry and hallway areas. The carpet was now honey colored and textured, it was plain light brown and ugly. Since I didn't take a picture of downstair hallway, it now has laminate flooring all the way to the two bedrooms. All the doors and trims in those rooms were replaced with similar color as the rest of the house trims.

Study/playroom had trim along the perimeter of the walls and wallpaper on the bottom part. Now, one wall was painted shy cherry (I love the color so much!) and the rest was a very light yellowish-tan. The placement of the furnitures were totally changed and I am not done redecorating yet.

The family room on the other side of the study desk. The windows were replaced and it seems to bring more light into the room.

The garden window in the kitchen. I used to have just a regular sliding window, now I could put plants and use the space provided in the garden window.

As I've written in my post before, my kitchen stays the same except for the wall color, and the only other thing was the laundry room which was painted in brown color instead of the old plain white color. On the outside, the windows upstairs and downstairs have new trims but the color matches the rest of the house.

I paid the contractor on Tuesday afternoon for he came for a final inspection and the check. I kinda miss the construction commotion but of course I don't miss the mess they left behind :) These three weeks has been kinda tiring to me and my family, but we are definitely happy with the result.

there is a light at the end of the remodeling

2009-08-17T09:58:00.000-07:00

Today marks the 16th day of the remodeling. I found it hard to believe that my house could be transformed to a somewhat new house after 19 years living in it. Some things are still old, some things are new; my kitchen cabinets are the only biggest sore spot in the house. But I have a cheery yellowish wall color that I now like it very much. I had a hard time choosing wall colors as I mentioned before in my post and now flood of happiness just filled me in. It's surreal :) Other walls in the house was painted earth tones, more like beige-brown, more like natural dirt all over :) There is one wall in the family room that would be painted red and I can't wait to see it painted. Hopefully today it'll be done.

There is not much to do while the painters were working last week. I was pretty much out of the house during the day and had to have lunches and dinners somewhere as well. This didn't cause me so much distress but slightly inconvenience. My husband missed my home cooking much more and he was not in happy mood for a while. To amuse ourselves, Nate and I had a biking session for several days in the afternoon and it was a great exercise for both of us :) Finally yesterday, I had a chance to clean up some messes, cooked chicken soup, and baked a loaf of bread. My husband was a very happy man again! I regained my kitchen space though the painters still need to do one wall and touch up some mistakes.

Other than that, I am waiting for the carpet to be installed hopefully by Wednesday. The downstairs hallway is looking much better with the laminate that matches the rest of the rooms. I still have my bedroom intact till the last moment before the carpet is installed and I dread the chaos ensuing from moving the big stuff from the family room and master bedroom upstairs. The windows are looking good, I especially love the picture windows that were installed in the living and family rooms, they brighten the rooms instantly. And I have a garden window in the kitchen which I will fill with some plants, I'm thinking some herbs and aloe vera. You could just tell that I'm in a happy mood looking around my house this morning :)

the confinement, the rant

2009-08-06T11:12:00.000-07:00

Today is the fourth day of the remodeling and I'm feeling only slightly better. Carpet has been torn away except my bedroom which is the only room that has everything intact. It is my hole in the wall. Nathaniel moved to sleep with us since Tuesday because his room is too messy. He is pretty happy to sleep on the floor with his mattress so it's not that that bugs me. As the workers work on putting the windows on the living room, they discovered that water has seeped into the siding and underneath some of the windows. They have to replace those which means more money needed.

And we have decided to let them paint almost the entire house because I just simply can't cope painting them by myself. The ceiling, the millwork, the doors, caulking, priming, sanding. The thought of it give me a headache. The thought of choosing what color to use on the walls already gave me palpatation. I supposed I could do them after they install the carpet and everything, but it means that the house would still be in chaos after they leave. All the furniture has to be left in the middle, most of the stuff will still be in the garage. Nathaniel will start school in three weeks so there is not much time to do.

I have already feeling like there is something I forget to do. My desktop computer is put away which means I can't have access to do my financial software which means I have to monitor my bills in my laptop which means I am not here nor there. On top of that, the dust. It's kinda hellish looking at your entire house and there is dust everywhere, not thin, but thick layer of dust. The only good thing is that we are not allergic to dust, imagine if we are. Television is not an optional source of entertainment, it's not connected anywhere. My kitchen is off-limit today because the walls need texturing. All of it are covered with plastic, and I have to find food somewhere out of the house. I want to get out but I feel like I need to monitor what they are doing as well. The mall sounds good to me right now, I am just afraid I will spend money there because I am bored. I know I am neurotic, I have a need to control everything and to have a perfect house.

Another thing comes up too, there is an opening in a different building for me to have a longer work hour which I have been contemplating earlier this year. But that means if I am accepted there I have to leave my good friends in my old place. I am torn. This decision will mean a lot to me though because the position offers health insurance unlike the old job. Even though I have one already through my husband, this will supplement my dental and vision portions. I have already submitted my transfer form, so I have to see what happens within a few weeks.

And it is predicted to shower today and tomorrow. Oh great...

plenty of sun

2009-07-31T09:47:00.000-07:00

Oregon had a heat wave this week, the temperature reached 106 degree F yesterday. For the past two days it has been scorching hot, too hot to be inside and outside. Just last night, I finally can breathe again because the nighttime temperature dropped to 65 degrees. My house doesn't have an AC though we have fans in almost every room. It still didn't help much especially in the upstairs rooms. One afternoon I lied outside on a beach towel with Nathaniel, just to escape the heat inside.

In the beginning of summer, I have since dry clothes outside. My husband put a clothesline across the house to the fence in the back. I also have three drying racks. Having growing up with plenty of sun in Indonesia my husband loves having his clothes dry au naturel :) From my point of view, drying clothes outside save money on gas and helping the environment. I don't particularly like sun-dried clothes, they're too stiff and it doesn't help that I don't always iron clothes until needed. My gas bill is down to two digits and the same with my electric bills.

Not all towns or cities in the US approve of drying clothes outside. In some development, there is a neighborhood association who dictates what can be done or used in the houses. They monitor even the exterior paint colors or how long the grass in the lawn until the next mowing :) (not sure about this but I'm sure there's a law about it). There is also city ordinances that impose its rules as to what homeowners can do about in their houses, which is almost all the same wherever we live. As long as my neighbor doesn't complain about seeing undewears and bras in the backyard, I'm safe.

This Wednesday, the hottest day of the week, I hang clothes outside to dry, it only took about 15 minutes for them to dry! A record in my opinion...

sea of purple

2009-07-29T13:13:00.000-07:00

This is the second part of the vacation stories, mainly photographs of lavender which I took during farms' tour in Sequim. I overheard a waiter telling her customer in a restaurant that even though the visitors found lavender smell to be fragrant, she found it to be nauseating already. He he, there is nothing wrong saying that because she might be a local girl, but to us, the smell is one of the best smells in the flower world.

I got a chance taking photographs of two girls working on a farm cutting lavender for sell. In such a quiet morning, they worked hard and fast. There are so many varieties of lavender, the color even varies between species, but they are such darling plants.

a sliver of happiness

2009-07-26T22:15:00.001-07:00

This year we only have one week off from daily life to enjoy vacation. I've made several vacation attempts earlier this year but fortunately they didn't come to fruitful. With the economy down and us wanting to do remodeling project, we decided to stick to just one week vacation. At least we had something to divert our minds before the project begins.

On this vacation, I chose to go to Olympic National Park. I've been dreaming of going there since 2005 when I read an article about it in a magazine. In my household, I'm almost always the one who plan the vacation right down to the detail of where we're supposed to eat :P My husband is the practical and advisor person since I tend to overpack activities. We usually compromise of where to stay, that is not a problem, as long as the accomodation is safe and clean.

Originally I wanted to go to Sequim, Sol Duc Hot Springs and Lake Quinault. But upon looking at the driving distance between Sol Duc and Lake Quinault, I decided not to go to Lake Quinault. It is on the far south end of the park and there are some beaches that we probably will not want to pass either. So this time we went to Sequim and Sol Duc Hot Springs only with side trip to Port Angeles and Lake Crescent. The reason I chose Sequim was that the weekend of July 17 there was a lavender festival. The farms who participate in the festival were open during lavender season, so in order to beat the crowd, I figured I didn't have to go that weekend. I still could see the farms anyway, that way it was less crowded. Plus, the lodging price was cheaper and we could get rooms. During lavender festival, almost all lodgings were booked and the price was higher too.

The first two days we were there, the weather was cloudy and rainy. We trudged along, mainly so see around town and the beach in Sequim. It was a small town with a lot of retirees, almost everywhere we went, there the older people. By the time 8 pm rolled on, the town was dead :) But we found interesting and lovely lavender farms in Sequim, by the third day the sun was blazing again and the day grew progressively hot. Went to Port Angeles on the way to Hurricane Ridge, the gateway to Olympic National Park. Port Angeles was not anything special, just a port with the ferry station to go to Vancouver B.C., Canada. Hurricane Ridge was beautiful, the drive was about 45 minutes but felt longer because we stopped a lot on the way to the top. There was a lot of wildflowers in bloom at that time and we saw a few deer. From the top of Hurricane Ridge we could see peaks of Mount Olympus.

After three nights at Sequim we drove to the next destination which was Sol Duc Hot Springs. It was located in the southwest part of the park and was about one and half hour drive from Port Angeles. Along the way we stopped by at East Beach of Lake Crescent. This lake was so serenely beautiful, the color was gem-like green. Lots of families were enjoying the lake too, even though the water was still a bit cold. Nathaniel went into the lake right away and had some fun. Sol Duc Hot Springs had this natural springs that feed man-made pools in the lodge, and where we stayed was just wood cabin with basic accomodations and no telephone or television. The hot spring pools were wonderful, they had three with different temperature for each and they also had a regular "cold" pool. Nathaniel, especially, had a blast in the pool during the vacation.

We stayed for two nights there and had a lot of walking around the lodge plus a side trip again to Lake Crescent. Again, we saw a deer so close that she didn't really mind my husband taking photograph of her in about two feet away. She must have used to people camping around the area. For two nights we really enjoyed the serenity of the forest, it was quite resting. Too bad we had to go back to reality at the end of the trip, but I was glad to take lots of pictures for mementos.

note: I finally had a time to post this story because my husband decided to postpone fixing the desktop computer until later, so I got a chance to upload photos to Flickr.

Halfway through summer

2009-07-23T23:39:00.000-07:00

I want to update my three blogs but unfortunately I can't do much right now. In order to update my food blogs, I need the recipes, but my books have been packed away in boxes. Likewise with this blog, it's a vice versa situation, I have the story in my head but my pictures are left behind in the desktop computer which is packed in a box ready to be fixed. Aiyee...what to do what to do...

Since coming back from vacation, I've been busy in the house. The house will need new carpet, laminate flooring, windows, doors, baseboards, and paints in some areas. My husband and I have been waiting for almost 20 years for this house project to end, but of course it will never end. One project is always leading to another project. In the past we've worked on our bedrooms, Nate's, guest's, and the two bathrooms. As soon as we're done with those, the exterior needs repainting but it will have to wait. This is much bigger project and this summer is the perfect time to do it.

This week almost all the things that need to be put away have been put away. Only the essential remains in the house, everything else is in the garage. My back screamed for two days and I strained a bit on the neck area, but luckily it didn't last long. My husband has worked with pulling off the wallpapers, we found out that the walls in the kitchen might need re-texturing which means another expense. I sometimes get exasperated with house remodeling project, especially when I have a budget and don't want to overspending it.

In another news, I'm done with my chiropractic treatments. My body feels like it's going back to normal. It's really amazing how my chiropractor can repair my body just by adjusting it. I've called the other insurance and they're gonna process my claim right away, though it may take as much as two months before everything will get done. According to my insurance agent, the complete medical reports won't be in for another three to four weeks. Everything is moving slowly but I want to make sure they will pay me for my pain and suffering right, so I don't mind the waiting.

Summer is almost over and I feel like my to-do-list is still long. I didn't get any chance to do things like jam making or cherry picking, though I'm hoping I will still get a chance to do some applesauce making in the fall. I didn't have much time to bake anymore in the next few weeks. I did have a good time during vacation this month to the Olympic National Park in Washington state which I hope I will share very soon. Until then.

Yesterday outing

2009-07-01T15:01:00.000-07:00

I was in the mood to take photos yesterday and since the weather has been so gorgeous this week, I proposed to go to Luscher Farm in Lake Oswego to walk on the pathway along the community garden. Nathaniel has just learned how to bike a 2-wheeled one, albeit with the training wheels still attached to his bike in high position, so he decided to bring it. We were there by 7:30 pm, it was still light and the breeze made the temperature a bit cooler. We made sure to stop by at the community garden to see what has been planted. This community garden started with a small patch at the farm and now it has grown so large. It is a wonderful idea for people who wants to grow vegetables but don't have big yard. When we were done, it was almost 9 pm. On the last photo, he was going downhill from the pathway to the wooden walkway and tried a little stunt by lifting both his feet. Those training wheels could go, I guess :)

Life like this couldn't be better.

Kehilangan seseorang

2009-06-22T20:36:00.000-07:00

Beberapa bulan ini saya merasa kehilangan seseorang. Dalam perasaan hati, apa yang saya tulis pernah menyinggung perasaan dia? Atau apa karena saya tidak pernah menyapanya sesering mungkin?

Dia pernah berterima kasih kepada saya karena saya salah satunya orang yang membuat dia bikin satu jurnal khusus tempat dia berkarya. Saya merasa senang bisa membantu orang lain. Tapi saya terus terang bukan orang yang rajin bertandang. Tapi bukan berarti saya tidak suka dengan dia lagi.

Satu kali saya merasa, koq saya tidak pernah dengar kabarnya lagi? Lalu saya periksa sana sini, ternyata, nama saya sudah dihapus. Dari jurnal yang satu dan jurnal yang lainnya. Mungkin sudah lama, mungkin masih baru. Hilang dari jejak-jejak yang dibikin.

Ah...ya mungkin saya salah. Saya tidak memupuk persahabatan. Saya jarang bertandang. Saya cuma berkomentar pendek. Mungkin komentar saya tidak bermutu lagi di hatinya. Terlalu berbasa-basi. Tidak ada tujuannya. Mungkin ideologi saya berbeda dengan dia. Dia suka ke kiri, saya lebih suka ke kanan. Mungkin saya orang bodoh! Tidak intelektual...

Merasa sedih, tentu saja. Saya bukan orang yang gampang berteman dengan siapa saja memang. Tapi kalau sudah ketemu yang cocok, berat melepaskannya. Supaya bisa cocok itu tidak gampang, kadang harus melangkah dengan hati-hati. Kadang dari tulisan bisa saya tebak apa bisa cocok. Tapi, lagi-lagi tapi, mungkin juga bukan salah siapa-siapa. Bosan tentu melanda siapa saja.

Hari ini baru saya tahu. Lucunya, saya baru sadar kalau dia kenal dengan bekas teman sekolah saya. Tapi sebelum bertanya, si dia sudah meninggalkan saya. Ya sudah, apa boleh buat.

Many photos, not too long of a story

2009-05-28T21:50:00.000-07:00

This month is particularly a busy one for me and my family. My mother-in-law decided to visit us for 10 days since the 16th. Prior to her visit, I straightened my house a bit, though not because it's messy, but just because I always like the way a clean and tidy house feels like when visiting one myself. When she's here, I didn't spend too much time with her going about because I still worked during the daytime. Luckily, my husband took a week off from work to be with her. They went to see several parks, including Crystal Spring Rhododendron Garden, a perfect time to visit it since rhodies and azaleas were blooming this month. Her schedule was tight, everyday was a day to go outing and enjoying good weather we fortunately had last week.

My mother-in-law got to go with Nathaniel to one of his field trips to a new emergency wing at Portland Adventist Hospital. Look at how the children were dressed in scrubs from head to toe! My husband came with them, sadly I had to work that day. Each child got to experience how to operate laparoscopy instrument to get a piece of chocolate candy in a fake stomach :)

Later that day Nathaniel had Spring Concert with his classmates in school. This was where they performed songs that they've been practicing in the last quarter. The concert was definitely better than last year and his class performed very good as well. They were singing some songs and also did a sign language song of "Battle Hymn of Republic" with third and fourth graders. That song just made everyone's heart swelled with pride and joy!

Last Friday was the opening day for Rose Festival in Portland, so we (I, actually made the plan) went to downtown Portland that night to see the fireworks. We went to Eastbank Esplanade which was a better place to see the fireworks. The barge was in the middle of Willamette River and we're so close to it that we got a first-class view. Lots of people also took advantage of the good weather to see the fireworks so both sides of the river were jam-packed with people. The fireworks started around 10:15 and lasted about 20 minutes or so. It was a wonderful display and in the end people applauded it cheerfully. Now, I couldn't take credits for the downtown and fireworks pictures since my husband horded the camera :P It pays to have another camera body when this thing happens too frequently...

Then on Sunday we went to Brooks Garden where it has peonies and lilies in bloom. As usual, I love to take flower pictures in a garden, too bad that the sun was particularly strong that day and it didn't help that we went right smack in the middle of the afternoon. When taking flower petals up close I found that the petals were making curvy lines similar to brushstrokes in painting.

My mother-in-law finally went back home two days ago. I still hadn't had downtime myself because my son's school activity took my time again. That Tuesday he and his classmate had an investiture service for being in Adventurer Club. It's a club which is similar to Boy's/Girl's Scout but this club emphasizes interest in nature and animals for children up to grade 4. Nathaniel got his badges for all the things that he had accomplished in the class. The service was bit too long, some children just simply couldn't stop yawning!

And today, my husband and I had our 14th anniversary which we celebrated by doing....nothing! Look, we're not so romantic couple ourselves and I had to watch my son's friend for the rest of the day today until her brother could pick her up in the evening. So yeah... our day was still filled with children. I was gonna bake a cake for today and tomorrow (hubby's birthday) but I think I have to postpone it until the weekend. In the end, I still feel blessed of having a good husband and loving son!

Short note

2009-04-25T07:55:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I felt somewhat the best in two weeks. My headache was pretty much gone though my shoulders and neck areas are still stiff. I have been able to still do my morning walking and I was able to enjoy it more. Sometimes my left leg still feels funny, somehow I feel that the muscle is weak, but it isn't in pain anymore. I wouldn't believe that by just going to a chiropractor my aches will be gone, but now I am starting to believe the care that my doctor administered to me really worked. I have another 2 more weeks of treatments before she evaluates me again. After a month, I'll be coming less frequently for sure, but this treatment will go on for about 3 months total.

I didn't feel I accomplished a lot this month due to the accident. Everything seemed to stop after April 9. I also felt that my short term memory was a bit too short for my taste, especially at work. The past 2 weeks were a blur, I'm just beginning to feel clearer today. It wasn't just imagination because the doctor said that the brain almost always moved a bit during impact and that could cause the lost of short term memory. My theory was also that I didn't want to remember anything at the time of the impact that was why my brain blocked anything not important :)

I also feel that when I drive I am more cautious, almost terrify sometime, especially from any cars coming from behind. I've never been in a major car accident before so this definitely shaken me up quite a bit. I feel that everybody is driving erratically, I don't trust any driver out there, and I always run a scenario of what I have to do if something happens. In short definition, I'm still a mess.

But, there's a silver lining in all of these, I enjoy driving my new car :) It drives fast (very contradictory from what I just wrote before about driving), it smells good, and it has good accoustics :) I think I can live in my car for a while if I have to :)

The day of the unfortunate event

2009-04-18T08:23:00.000-07:00

I'm finally able to write this story after what can be described as a harrowing experience for me.

The story started last Thursday afternoon, April 9. I got off from work at 1 o'clock in the afternoon and before I went home, I stopped by in the library to pick up Nathaniel's DVD. The day was cloudy but it wasn't raining. The road was dry, it was not an unpleasant day as I recalled. As I drove closer to my house, I had to stop on the highway before turning left onto the road leading to my house. I call it highway because the old name of the road, basically it is the main corridor between our neighboring town and our town. It is only a two-way road, though it is a busy road and people tends to drive past a stopping car.

So there I was, waiting to take a left turn because the traffic from the opposite site was busy. For some reason I looked in my inside rear view mirror and noticed right away that the car behind me was coming fast. In fact it was quite fast that I was thinking out loud, "This car ain't gonna stop! It's gonna crash!" Few seconds later, what I imagined happened. The car really did not stop and it did crash to the back of my car.

I was in shock when I blinked again. Seemed like that moment passed only a few seconds. But then I realized my seat was tilted towards the back, I felt my knee was in slight pain and I was disoriented. I was surprised that my radio was still on, my airbag didn't deploy and there's an erie moment of silence before I turned my head to the left. Someone in a car came up to me and rolled down his window. I rolled down mine and he asked me if I was okay. I said that I was shaken up but otherwise fine right now. He asked if I've called 911 yet, I said not yet. He suggested that I pulled over because something was leaking from my tailpipe and he was afraid it was gasoline. And he suggested that I be careful when I pulled over so I didn't get hit by cars coming from behind.

My car could still be driven so I pulled over. I went out and the driver of the other car came out too. She was visibly shaken and I didn't remember if she or I asked first if we're okay. I told her to call 911 because I was calling my husband. While we waited she said to me that she saw me but when she applied the brake it was loose. It didn't make sense but I didn't want to say anything because I was still in shock and disoriented. Her car was scrunched up in the front, so I guess she hit pretty hard. My husband was doing some errands with Nathaniel when the accident happened so he was on the way when I called.

About 5 minutes later ambulance and fire department came, we were both assessed but I declined any help because I was not bleeding or had any broken bones, just shaken up. I saw that the girl was told to walk straight, they seemed to figure out if she was drunk/not. A few minutes later the police came and they asked questions, took accident report and did their job. My husband and my son finally arrived and they went home first before walked down to meet me. In the end, my car was deemed okay to drive home, because it was only a block away. We decided to wait for the insurance people to instruct us what to do.

That day was ruined. We had to go to the DMV to file another report and my son had his parent-teacher conference that day which was moved to a later hour which thankfully we could make it. Once we were back home, the calls came in like snowfall. Our insurance acted quite fast, because the appraiser came that afternoon and took a report. The next day we got a rental car and my husband was able to get a day off to help me with that. I was scheduled to have a day off that Friday so in a way it was a rather convenient for me. I was gonna go to a chiropractor that day too but she couldn't do it at the last minute. My body started to feel sore about 5 hours after the accident and I did get quite dizzy too.

My husband and I had to do lots of calls to our insurance company and it turned out I needed chiropractor care and massage for 3 times a week for a month because I had a whiplash which is very common in a car accident. My dizziness came and go but sometimes I felt nauseous as well. My whole body was so sore, especially on my shoulders and back areas. My knee turned up black and blue :( It was only a patch near the kneecap not the whole knee though. I was able to go back to work Monday but I worked in a slower pace.

This didn't end here because my car was a total loss. We mourned it since we had no loans on it, we owned the car, now it's practically useless. We had to find a new car and finding a new car in a week was no fun experience at all. It felt like we're rushed to buy one and I kept thinking whether we made a mistake of purchasing a specific model of a car. And talked about insurance people! They kept us on the toes the whole week, finally today we had the answer that we're looking for and it kinda felt good in a way that we were able to find a car and got what we deserve.

The whole experience just gave me a headache. It was not fun at all and I apologize to my friends whom I ignored this whole week because I simply couldn't sit in front of the computer too long and I simply didn't have time to call them. This roller coaster hopefully will quite down this weekend but my recuperating time is months ahead. I am just thankful that God still keep me and my family in His care all this time. I will post an update from time to time too, thanks for all your concerns!

Obsessed

2009-03-28T18:50:00.000-07:00

... I'm in love and always will be
White Flag-by Dido

I am obsessed

and this is not good

but I still remember you

the closeness we had

even for a brief moment

it was a story long forgotten

out of the blue I had an urge

to want you again

I am obsessed

looking back and remembering

what made me laugh

your voice your face

I am crazy

I know that

nothing I can do about it

it just me wanting you so bad

a decision had to be made

at a wrong time but a perfect meeting

I know you know

you don't want me

but I still want you

I am obsessed

my dreams my wishes my love

I realize life with you

would be different

my path your path was not meant to be

I am obsessed

wondering still

what would it be like

sharing love and passion

that I didn't know you had

must be a nirvana if it came true

I want to feel your lips

and kiss you hard

I am obsessed

looking deep into your eyes

do you still recognize me?

I know you don't

it don't matter

what matter is

I am obessed

with

you

Beberapa hari di dalam kesibukan

2009-03-25T14:24:00.000-07:00

Sudah 3 hari (kerja) berlalu, tanpa terasa liburan musim semi hampir berakhir. Sebelum liburan mulai saya berharap kalau banyak kegiatan yang saya bisa kerjakan. Ternyata setelah liburan berjalan, rencana selalu melenceng. Gak jauh, tapi yang terpikirkan sebelumnya belum terpenuhi :)

Rencana untuk bermain bowling belum sempat. Sudah ada panggilan untuk membantu membuat kukis untuk acara peringatan seorang anggota gereja yang baru meninggal. Saya diminta membuatnya untuk hari Minggu ini, padahal dalam hati ada satu teman yang akan berulang tahun akhir minggu ini juga yang saya janjikan untuk mengirim setoples kukis. Yah...kamu harus tunggu dulu. Saya tidak merasa keberatan untuk membantu acara gereja, buat saya ini adalah satu jalan untuk menyumbang belas kasihan kepada keluarga yang ditinggal pergi.

Hujan pun masih kadang datang kembali. Untungnya 2 hari yang lalu kami masih dikasih kesempatan untuk jalan pagi di satu taman kota yang tidak jauh dari rumah kami. Taman ini sangat luas dan berakhir di tepi sungai Willamette, dari situ jalanan setapak bisa ditelusuri sepanjang tepi sungai. Di tengah-tengah hutan yang kami lalui banyak terlihat bunga Trillium yang khas terdapat di Oregon, mulai berbunga. Ini tandanya musim semi telah berjalan.

Kemarin saya ajak Nathaniel jalan kaki di lapangan lari sekolah menengah. Sempat dia berjalan selama 1 mile sebelum dia minta berhenti. Ya sudah, dia saya suruh duduk di tempat duduk terbuka selama menunggu saya selesai. Kemana suami? Dia tertinggal di rumah karena sedang membuat laporan pajak untuk bulan depan. Sampai terpusing-pusing dia mengerjakan itu, hampir setiap tahun kesannya selalu sama :)

Beberapa minggu yang lalu suami saya dicabut giginya, dan sampai sekarang masih merasakan betapa nyut-nyutnya bekas operasinya. Sakit giginya bukan masalah yang sepele rupanya, karena saya belum pernah mengalami kejadian seperti itu. Dengan sakit giginya ini, rencana berlibur keluar kota kami pun batal. Sangat disayangkan kalau pembayaran asuransi dokter gigi dari perusahaan dia itu kecil. Ah, beginilah nasib kami...

Di lain pihak, kami berdua sedang berangan-angan yang muluk. Apakah angan-angan itu? Belum berani saya ungkapkan, tetapi seandainya itu terlaksana betapa bahagianya kami. Setiap langkah hidup saya mau rasanya terbang ke jajakan negara lain, membayangkan sesuatu yang belum pernah kami rasakan. Tetapi angan-angan ini akan membawa kenangan yang indah tentunya, siapa tau.

Satu berita sedih yang saya terima beberapa hari yang lalu. Adik dari almarhum opa saya telah berpulang ke rumah Yang Maha Kuasa. Dia seseorang yang hidup hanya hidup dalam kenangan saya setelah saya pindah jauh. Ada penyesalan kalau ternyata penyakit yang dia derita bisa dicegah seandainya dia rajin ke dokter. Tapi nasi telah menjadi bubur, begitu kata petuah lama. Hidup ini bisa hilang dalam sekejap. Kebetulan sekali pernyataan itu saya dapat dari buku yang habis saya baca, The Year of Magical Thinking oleh Joan Didion.

Selain itu, saya mampu menyelesaikan satu buku lagi, Chinese Lessons oleh John Pomfret. Buku yang sangat menarik, dari situ saya belajar bagaimana kehidupan orang Cina yang diatur oleh pemerintah komunis. Kalau dipikir, kasihan mereka yang tinggal di negara itu, jalan hidupnya diatur oleh pemerintah dan kemana arahnya bisa berganti-ganti. Yang ada hanya kesengsaraan, penderitaan, hilangnya nilai akhlak, dan kebencian antara manusia. Dua buku sudah menanti lagi, mudah-mudahan saya masih bisa bernafas diantara kesibukan.

If only

2009-03-12T12:20:00.000-07:00

This is one of hilarious moments in my family's life:

I was talking on the phone with my church friend yesterday afternoon and we were talking about our kids in general. She has 3 girls whom 2 are homeschooling right now but my friend decided to enroll her oldest daughter in the same school that Nate attends. I asked her how it went during the round-up (try-out opportunity for children who're wanting to enroll) last week. My friend said that when she asked her daughter if she liked being in Ms Webster's class, she answered yes; but asked if she wanted to go to school, she replied, nooo.... LOL. My friend was like, "Okaaaayyyy..." But she told me she's going to send her to school next year for sure. So during dinner time I told the story to my hubby and Nate interjected my story by saying that Abbie (his carpool buddy) also didn't like school. It's too long according to Abbie and she would be happy if school is only 1 hour :) But, according to Nate, he wished that he would learn only math in school and had recess, nothing else! Ha Ha. What a comment!

He did like learning math so far and has excelled in that subject. Even though he has some problems with his pronounciation and intonation in language arts, his spelling tests have been all A's. Of course, who doesn't like recess? His class only has 1 recess during the day and sometimes it's only for 20 minutes.

At the same time, I lamented to my friend that sadly, Nate didn't want to practice for children's choir anymore. He never learns his songs and he reasoned that with all his homework, piano lesson, speech class, he simply didn't have time to learn the songs! This time, it's my friend's turn to had a good laugh! :D Nate didn't have too much homework from his class but he does have practice books that he likes to do at home. He called those "his homework." Since the beginning of children's choir, Nate wasn't really interested joining it. This kid who nevertheless will perform with his first grade class, which I suppose is mandatory :D Oh well, I don't want to force him to do what he doesn't want to do.

On another note, I bought a bunch of asparagus today! Oh, it seems that spring is around the corner already. I noticed some of my flower bulbs in the garden already peeking from the ground. We had some crazy weather for a few days but the days are getting warmer and the sun is out longer too. One other thing that make me happier these days ishe fact that my nephews in Jakarta are in Facebook :) They insisted joining it and it forced their mom to join one too so she could monitor her sons. The first thing they asked me was, "Where is Nathan (that's what they call Nate)?" :)

Oh, I just start reading a book called Infidel by Aayan Hirsi Ali. She's Theo Van Gogh's colleague, a Dutch film maker who was murdered a Muslim extrimist in 2004, whom she made the movie Submission together. She wrote this memoir and the beginning is very interesting. It's like she opened a door to us to see what's it like to grow up Muslim in Somalia. I love this kind of memoir, it's informative and engaging. Can't wait to finish the book!

There's a lot more to share but I will spare that until the next time I'll write another post.

Yang membuat hati gembira

2009-03-03T09:09:00.000-08:00

Ya...boleh kan saya merasa gembira hari ini?

Foto kue yang saya kirim untuk Does My Blog Good In This/DMBLGIT menang Host Award (yang berarti mendapat 5 poin yang baik semua kategori) untuk edisi February 2009. Ternyat tidak sia-sia hasil potretan kamera (mainan) saya bulan lalu, meskipun waktu memotret tangan kedinginan ;)

Terima kasih Sefa, kamu memang host yang baik dan terima kasih kepada semua juri dan teman yang telah memilih dan meninggalkan ucapan selamat kepada saya.

Sour Cream-Hazelnut Bundt Cake

Tinggal di rumah

2009-02-18T03:09:00.000-08:00

Hari ini harus tinggal di rumah karena Nathaniel tau-tau anget badannya bangun tidur. Kemarin waktu pulang sekolah, temen carpool-nya Abbie, udah mulai batuk-batuk lagi. Minggu lalu dia sempet gak masuk sekolah karena panas dan begitu juga mamanya. Eh, hari ini akhirnya Nate ketularan juga :( Waktu telfon rumahnya Abbie, ternyata dia pun sama keadaannya, demam! Beginilah kalau sekolah pergi sama-sama setiap hari, yang satu sakit, yang lainnya bisa ikutan sakit.

Udah lama banget saya gak nulis-nulis yang panjang di jurnal ini. Rasanya banyak kegiatan, tapi kayaknya gak ada yang perlu ditulis :) Seperti biasa kegiatan rutin selalu ada dan selalu menyita waktu.

Belum lama ini, baru Sein minggu lalu, tetangganya rumah sewaan motong pohon. Karena dia bukan profesional, alhasil pohonnya jatuh ke garasi rumah sewaan. Untungnya garasi itu terpisah dengan bangunan rumah, jadinya gak terlalu parah. Tapi tetep aja harus diurusin. Jadi harus file a claim sama asuransi dia, dan prosesnya lelet banget. Biasa kayaknya kalo berurusan sama asuransi. Baru Senin ini property adjuster-nya dateng buat ngeliat situasi, ternyata saya juga yang harus cari estimate buat bersihin pohon dan buat ngeganti roofing. Si asuransi gak mau mereka yang kerjain soalnya kalau hasilnya gak memuaskan buat saya, berabe lah mereka harus ngurusin lagi. Kemarin baru dapet estimate dari tukang kayu, masih nunggu roofing contractor. Udah 2 minggu berlalu, cuma segini hasilnya? Huh...

Terus juga entah kenapa saya jadi sering bikin kukis. Pertama janji sama temen baik di Michigan kalau saya mau kirimin kukis sebagai hadiah Natal yang sangat amat terlambat. Lalu saya harus bikin lagi untuk acara donasi sekolah, yang bulan ini terakhir kalinya saya buat. Akhir minggu ini bikin lagi, nanastar, kaastengel & oatmeal raisins, buat temen di New York; dia kepengen beli kukis saya :) Lucu juga sih, padahal saya kan gak jualan kukis. Gara-gara kebanyakan ngomong di Facebook, ketemu batunya, alias harus bikin kukis tiap minggu :D Selai nanasnya udah selesai dibikin minggu ini, tinggal nyicil bikinnya akhir minggu ini.

Di tempat kerja, selama 2 minggu terakhir saya kerja di tempat yang super duper dinginnya. Bagian itu memang kayaknya kurang bener sirkulasi anginnya karena bagian tua dari gedung tempat kerja. Setiap serving time, menggigil lah saya dengan sukses, sampe harus berdiri dibelakang free-standing warmer. Minggu ini saya akhirnya dipindah ke tempat yang lebih hangat :D Ini gak minta sama manager loh, tau-tau dipindah aja. Memang manager pernah bilang kalau beberapa minggu sekali posisi bisa berubah. Beginilah kalau jadi kuli, nerima aja :D

Salah satu buku yang saya sempet selesaiin minggu lalu yaitu Suite Française oleh Irène Némirovsky. Udah lama mau baca buku ini, tapi baru bulan ini nyempetin. Bukunya bagus sekali, karena kalau dipikir bagaimana akhir hidup si pengarang di konsentrasi kamp di Jerman dengan apa yang dia tulis di novelnya, sangat kontras. Apa yang dia tulis adalah cerita manusia saat Nazi Jerman menjajah Perancis, salah satu cerita utama adalah percintaan satu perempuan Perancis dengan satu tentara Jerman. Gaya tulisannya sederhana tanpa berlebihan keromantisannya. Angan-angan pengarang buku ini dikarang seperti satu musik, setiap bagian ada kecepatannya; misalnya andante, allegro, dll. Sayangnya cuma 2 bagian novel yang sempat diselesaikan olehnya sebelum dia meninggal di kamp. Jadinya bagian akhir terasa menggantung, saya masih kepengen tau apa kelanjutan ceritanya. Setelah baca appendix baru berasa kalau mungkin jalan ceritanya itu berakhir begini, tapi itupun tidak pasti. Skripsi buku pengarang ini diselamatkan oleh salah satu anaknya yang ditinggal dia dan suaminya setelah mereka ditangkap tentara Jerman, karena mereka orang Yahudi. Dua anak perempuannya ini disembunyikan di berbagai tempat oleh nanny-nya yang orang Perancis asli. Trenyuh kalau mikirin dua anak kecil itu harus gak berhentinya sembunyi selama perang dunia kedua :(

Buku yang menarik bagi yang senang baca :) Kalau mau baca review-nya di New York Times, saya dapet link-nya disini.

One day in a winter morning

2009-02-14T18:02:00.000-08:00

I looked out the window and noticed how pretty the color of the new dawn. I grabbed my camera and went out the door in the cold morning, I was still in my robe and no shoes.

And this morning, in a place of worship, some words struck me unexpectantly. Warmth like water flooded my soul, I still remember them clearly in my head.

"To all life Thou givest to both great and small; In all life Thou livest, the true life of all; We blossom and flourish, like leaves on the tree; Then wither and perish; but naught changeth Thee."

Dr Langston, there's a vacancy in...

2009-01-18T17:35:00.001-08:00

That Thursday night, the last night of all nights. Here comes the replacement. The one and only finally went to Costa Rica to see his one and only. Will I watch more? To be continued....

Happy Holidays!

2008-12-23T07:16:00.000-08:00

To all who celebrate the Christmas, have a good one!

To the year 2009, stay safe and healthy!