Meanwhile, back in the kasbah…

Sooooo, yeah. I’ve been gone a while. Again.

I know, I just up and left the kasbah without warning. But you see, life has this funny way of finding you and forcing nudging you to face your inner demons, those stories and beliefs that you’ve been dragging around like a set of old luggage circa 1981. No wheels or fancy handles. The kind that weighs a ton and is ugly as sin. But this time when the suitcase burst open and the little buggers came bursting out, I realized I had to do something different than simply trying to avoid them.

So, out of sheer desperation and exhaustion, I decided to take a different approach. I welcomed them. Invited them to tea right here in the kasbah. And in order to do that, I had to close the doors of the kasbah for a bit.

Apologies. Again.

But now I’m back. And hopefully with a little more consistency.

While I was having tea with the demons, I took some breaks to read some other blogs. Throughout the months of January and February, many of them focused on a word that’s been chosen to influence a whole crap ton of goals, both broad and specific, throughout the year. I like the idea of having a word to reflect on during the year, a word that can inspire or guide or act as a reminder. I like this more than having a set of resolutions or coming up with a list of should’s or have-to’s. (You might remember I touched on this a bit last year with my Un-Resolution List in a letter to a certain classy British actor, which you can read about here.)

That said, I had a hard time narrowing 2014 down into a one-word nugget of wisdom to follow. (And yes, I realize nearly a quarter of the year has flown by already. The You Must Be Perfect All the Freakin’ Time Demon was part of the entourage I courted for tea and was told I no longer needed his services. As such, I’m 87.3% ok with sharing this very belated post. That Demon still loiters around and we argue a bit, but mostly he just wanders in my unfinished garden muttering how I should really get some of those ceramic garden gnomes to spruce up the joint.) So, instead of one word I decided to go with the Big Three, words I’ve noticed repeatedly wriggling their way into the forefront of my funny little brain:

*Intention – to make more of my waking moments mindful and filled with outward intention, and to do so with as much energy and attention as I spend inside my head in quiet reflection.

*Love – to live with this always in the forefront of my mind, so it becomes my default setting in all things, and to choose it over any and all fear-based thinking and rationalizing crap that has been weighing me down for ages.

*Create – to stop with the renovating or renewing or re-anything. It’s time to create new things, to build, to manifest, to bring forth. This is less about how an end product turns out and more about having an end product to hold in my sweaty little palms, all the while continuing to learn everything I can about the things I’m drawn to and love.

Intention, Love, and Create. My three guide posts for 2014. 

***

Tell me, wise readers, what would your word for 2014 be if you were to choose one (or three like me)? Sit, sip, and share. It’s been far too long and I always love to hear from you.

All who answered this age-old conundrum had very strong convictions on which one they’d rather be. In the cat camp, people claimed the life of a cat was a pampered and relaxing one. Having been owned by a cat for many a year, I can vouch for this reasoning. My cat takes a nap whenever he needs one. He lounges about when he feels like it. He does what he wants when he wants. And we adore him, shower him with hugs and kisses and tell him what a good job he’s doing being a cat.

Yeah, I’d say it’s a pretty cushy life.

The dog people were as clear in their stance as well. The chance to travel, to play outdoors with people and other dogs, to go for walks and hikes, and to give as much love as you receive were the key points in choosing a dog’s life. I’m still searching that one perfect dog and can’t wait to share all of this with the little fella. Being a dog could be pretty darn sweet, too.

So which did I choose?

Lately I have had dogs on the brain AND I like to travel AND I like to go for hikes and walks and such. Therefore, I’m going to join up with the dog people. Just don’t tell my cat.

And now, on to this week’s question…

Would you rather

 have to live in a biosphere on the moon

photo credit: Storm Crypt via photopin cc

– OR –

under the ocean?

Howdy, neighbor. photo credit: San Diego Shooter via photopin cc

***

So which will it be, adventurous readers? Building a new life on the moon? Or moving under the sea? Ponder, sip, sit, and share. I always love to hear from you.

Hello? Anyone here?

*walks into cobwebs strung about like streamers*

*flails about trying desperately to remove the cobwebs now clinging to my hair and clothes*

*steps outside and grabs nearest large stick*

*returns to kasbah and with spastic, ungraceful motions clears away cobwebs with said stick*

That’s better.

Now, where were we?

Oh, right. My prolonged absence. My only excuse is to say that I’ve been really busy. Ok, it’s mostly been a lot of tormenting myself in my funny little brain, but that takes up a lot of air time in here and leaves little space for creative endeavors. Like crafting posts and chatting with y’all.

Lame excuse, I know. Sad, but true.

But now I’m back.

I thought it best if I began this journey into 2014 as many of you have done – reflecting upon the previous year. I realize we’re already 13 days in, but a girl’s gotta start somewhere.

2013 was a year of great change for me. Some of it good, some of it not so good. In the end, and in spite of the challenges, I came out of it having learned a thing or two.

In 2013, I bought a house. All on my own. From start to sign-on-the-dotted-line finish. With a lot of help from my friends, I renovated said house and rescued it from the 1950’s where it had been stuck for the past several decades.

Ugly wood paneling in the living room and entry way

Trapped in the 1950’s. And not in the cute, vintage-y sort of way.

Note the tragic floor. What you can’t see in this photo is the lovely burn marks on the outdated linoleum.

Living room and entry way, sans wood paneling (And yes, those are paint chips on the front door because I was trying to determine what color to paint it. Actually, I still am…)

New floor, new butcher block countertops, new sink and appliances, new tile backsplash, fresh paint, and a new set of knots that had to be worked out of my shoulders and back after having done most of the work myself.

I moved into this house and began an arduous grieving process for the house I left. I’m still grieving that house, but I’ve been slowly making friends with the new one. Some days we’re pals, other days we’re enemies. Above all, it’s been a lesson in thankfulness for what I’m truly fortunate to have, even if it’s not exactly where I’d like to be.

In 2013, (technically in late 2012) I said goodbye to a marriage. While it was the right thing to do in spite of the crushing shame and failure I felt afterwards, I learned that I have the strength to make it through to the other side. On the flip side, I welcomed some new people into my life and have been blown away by the joy and the love they bring. Discovering those things (and being able to share it here) has been a lesson in recognizing the courage I didn’t know I had.

In 2013, I finished the first draft of my very first novel. With all of the changes mentioned above, the revision process has been happening in small bits. A chapter reworked here, a few paragraphs moved there, but not much progress of which to speak. Knowing I can take an idea, shape it into words and sentences and paragraphs and chapters was a lesson in finally tapping into a well of perseverance and creativity inside me that had been dormant for far too long.

Through all of 2013’s ups and downs, I always knew I could find some nurturing in one of the few comfort foods left to me: the quesadilla.

The mighty quesadilla. photo credit: I Believe I Can Fry via photopin cc

Recently becoming gluten-free and a long-time vegetarian, there aren’t many quick and easy foods left on the menu. Enter the cheesy goodness of the quesadilla: shredded cheese (I prefer a nice sharp cheddar, but pretty much any cheese will do) gently sandwiched between some fresh corn tortillas. With a little salsa and some sliced avocado on the side, I found that I could easily give myself the comfort I craved throughout the year. Sometimes, I’d even get a little fancy and roast some veggies to nestle in among the cheese. Yummm…

But no matter how I shredded and sliced it, this was the one constant I could count on. I’ve probably eaten twice my weight in quesadillas over the course of 2013. It was my go-to lunch or dinner whenever I was in a hurry. Or wanted an excuse to buy a bunch of avocados and fresh salsa. Or just wanted a little comfort. Wrapped in cheese.

And, I’m perfectly content to continue the trend in 2014.

In fact, I plan to continue all of the trends – to recognize the depth of my courage and resilience, the breadth of my creativity, the strength of my perseverance – throughout 2014. That is, when I’m not busy eating quesadillas.

***

Next time I’ll share my thoughts and plans and devious schemes for 2014. Until then, tell me, fine readers, what gifts or talents did you discover you had in 2013? Better yet, tell me what your comfort foods are, especially if they’re of the gluten-free, vegetarian variety. The kettle’s boiled and the tea is ready. Sit, sip, and share. I always love to hear from you.

But first, let’s reminisce about last week’s question, shall we? Y’all were given the choice between getting a year off at your current rate of pay or the chance to earn three times your rate of pay over the next year. A little over half of you chose to go for the extra earnings citing a wide range of reasons, from loving what you do so much that you couldn’t bear the thought of taking a year away, to desiring the extra money to do things like feed your tribe of cats. Amazing and noble.

The rest of you were having more carpe diem-flavored thoughts, seizing the day (and the year) and living it as fully as you can. I can appreciate the in-the-moment-ness of it all. It’s something I continue to struggle with and would like to become better at in my life.

So what did I choose? Normally I’d be all over the time off. Getting to sleep in, opportunities to travel, sleeping in, more time to write and read, sleeping in…

But, since I’ve been at home with a bonus four days off of work due to snow and ice (and the fact that my little city is incredibly ill-equipped for such wintry weather with only 1% of the roads plowed in the six days after the snow fell), I’m more than a little concerned about the fate of my agency as it tries to weather this storm (pun unfortunately intended). And because of that, I’m more than a little worried about my job and money. So, when I have all of THOSE CHEERFUL THOUGHTS, I want to choose three times my pay for the next year. Because that would mean I definitely have a job and extra moolah and ideally, less stress about it all.

And now, on to this week’s question, inspired by my cat and my current search for the perfect dog to get along with him…

Would you rather

live the life of a cat

Snow day activities

– OR –

the life of a dog?

World’s most happy-go-lucky (and spoiled) dog

***

So, which will it be, fine readers? Are you drawn more to the life of the cat with his 18 hour naps and killer lounging skillz? Or do you see yourself more as a dog, running outside, chasing balls, and going for walks? Mull it over while you relax in the kasbah and sip your freshly steeped tea. I always love to hear from you.

This might be what I looked like as I peeked out my window this morning…

I LOVE snow days when work is closed and I have an unexpected extra day to play in the fluffy white stuff and do all manner of snowy things. Like make snow angels and build snowmen. And bake cookies. And drink tasty beverages while sitting in front of a toasty warm fire.

Fortunately, it’s also that time of year when you can turn on your tv and watch many of your beloved holiday movies. I have a few favorites that I look forward to watching each December.

First, there’s the classic of all holiday movies, It’s a Wonderful Life. I know, I know, it’s overplayed during the holiday season. But I still love it. I watch this one when I’m doing a marathon of present wrapping, preferably while drinking hot cocoa or a mocha. The tree is lit as well as any other twinkle lights inside and outside the house. You know, for mood lighting.

One of my favorite scenes

Then there’s The Muppets: A Christmas Carol. I grew up watching The Muppet Show, so when this movie came out it quickly became a treasured one for me. With Kermit as Bob Cratchit, Miss Piggy as Mrs. Cratchit, and Gonzo as the narrator in one of Dickens’ most famous stories, what’s not to love? Nothing, that’s what. I like to watch this with a bowl a popcorn in one hand, a warm, tasty beverage (with or without Kahlua or whiskey in it, as the mood strikes me) in the other hand with gently falling snow outside my window.

And last, but certainly not least, there’s the movie I watch with my kids on Christmas eve, one that never fails to make us laugh no matter how many times we see it: Elf. If you haven’t given yourself over to comedic genius that is Will Ferrell, you’re really missing out. I don’t know how you get through the holiday season, honestly. Buddy the Elf, a human raised by Santa and Mrs. Claus among the elves at the North Pole, decides to search out his birth father in New York City. Hijinks and hilarity ensue. I like to cuddle up with my kids on the sofa with our favorite holiday cookies and a cuppa tea as I watch this one.

So many positive messages in this movie…

***

As part of the WANAFriday theme this week, others are also sharing their favorite holiday movies. Be sure to check them out: (more to be added as they’re written)

Ellen Gregory: My Thoughts on Catching Fire

Liv Rancourt: Bah Humbug

***

How about you, dear readers? What are your favorite holiday movies? Are there ones you always watch? Are there ones you’ve recently discovered and absolutely love? Sit, sip, and share. The fire’s ready, the tree is lit, the tea is steeped, and the pillows are fluffed. I always love to hear from you.

So which did I choose? You’d think that sitting in front of a cozy fire in my living room at this very moment would sway me to select a fab living room. You might also be tempted to think that the below freezing temps tonight or the gusty, rain/hail storm earlier today would push me to want a living room that’s warm and inviting.

But no.

Like many of you, I, too, would opt for the lush, beautiful yard for many of the reasons y’all noted. It would be big enough to have large, old oak trees and a pond. There would also be a hammock, a hot tub, a vegetable/herb garden, a blueberry orchard, fruit trees, and tons of flowers. And it would be located somewhere where the weather is warm more often than not.

I would also want a full-time gardner to help me keep up with all of the maintenance. And to do weed pulling. Obviously. In a yard as big as the one I’m imagining, it would become a weed-infested mess in one season if I didn’t have a gardener. With a British accent. Just sayin’.

And now, on to this week’s question…

Would you rather

have one year off at your current rate of pay

I think this is where I’d go if I had a year off. At least to start…

– OR –

work your current job for a year at triple your current rate of pay?

photo credit: JD Hancock via photopin cc

***

Which will you choose, clever readers? Will the lure of free time for a whole year while still earning money be the bigger draw for you? Or will you be enticed to make triple what you do now over the next year? Put on your thinkin’ caps, sit a spell, and then share your thoughts. I always love to hear from you.

photo credit: symphony of love via photopin cc

Be sure to stop by next Wednesday when the Would You Rather question will return as scheduled. Happy Thanksgiving!

***

What are you thankful for, kind readers? Is there anything in your life you can look at with an attitude of gratitude instead of one of frustration? Sit, sip, and share. I always love to hear from you.

]]> https://tamiclayton.com/2013/11/27/gratitude-for-the-little-things/feed/ 7 6909 https://tamiclayton.com/2013/11/20/wednesdays-would-you-rather-question-living-room-or-yard/ https://tamiclayton.com/2013/11/20/wednesdays-would-you-rather-question-living-room-or-yard/#comments Thu, 21 Nov 2013 05:46:17 +0000 https://tamiclayton.com/?p=6897 Read the rest→]]> Welcome back, clever readers, to this week’s edition of the Would You Rather question. The last time we convened in the kasbah, y’all were asked to ponder whether you’d prefer to go about your daily routine completely naked or take a long siesta while missing out on a year of your life.

There were fewer than the usual number of comments last week and as such, an even split (2 each way) occurred. Those who chose to rest their heads liked having an entire year to rest and recharge. Equally as enticing was the idea that perhaps the world would be a slightly better place when they awoke. One can hope, right?

Those opting to run amok in their birthday suits tried to get away with imagining these questions as pretend scenarios and made their selection with that justification in mind. I, of course, gently reminded them that the Would You Rather questions are totally real (and also a tiny bit based on the idea that you have to suspend disbelief for a moment and convince yourself that really would be going about your business entirely in the buff). Being the imaginative lot that they are, it was an easy sell. Those choosing to be naked for a week stayed with their decisions, though there was talk of moving to a tropical island while doing so. An interesting spin, I’ll give ’em that.

So which did I choose? I’ll admit I was torn on this one. On the one hand, a year is a mighty long time to be asleep, especially when I thought about what I’d miss out on with my kids. But then again, I am always running a major sleep deficit, so a nice, long nap would be extremely useful.

And then I considered the nude option. I’ll admit that I’m not someone who is comfortable in her own skin when it’s fully clothed, and even less so when buck naked. The idea of having to leave the house or go to work made me cringe. Then again, I wondered if after a week I’d be more comfortable with it since I’d have to get over myself and function in my life on some level.

So, because I’m a fan of pushing my boundaries every once in a while, I decided I’d go the naked route, though I’d definitely have to work from home that week. Since I work in the mental health field with kids and families, showing up to work naked would probably get me fired. Or at the very least banned from the office for the week.

And now, on to this week’s question…

Would you rather

have a home with a great living room

– OR –

a great back yard?

photo credit: angela7dreams via photopin cc

***

Which will it be, imaginative readers? Are you more drawn to a fantastic living room, designed and furnished to your heart’s desire? Or are you more the outdoorsy type who feels more at home in a well-tended garden or a grand sweep of lawn and old trees? Sit, sip, and share. I always love to hear from you.

At almost an even split, those who preferred to know WHEN said that having that knowledge would help them prioritize things, like what they want to accomplish in life or making sure they spent time with loved ones.

Those who are in the HOW camp cited having the skinny on what’s actually going to happen but not knowing when it will happen gave them a greater sense of freedom to live in the present.

Like I said, interesting and intriguing.

Ultimately, I decided to join those seeking to know HOW the world will end, mostly because I surmise that I’ll be able to deduce the WHEN based on what’s actually going to go down. Maybe that’s naively inflating my scientific intelligence, but I figure I can consult and research and come up with a somewhat accurate notion. Also, I think knowing WHEN would give me a little too much anxiety and keep me from being fully present in the here and now.

And now, on to this week’s question…

Would you rather

go about your daily routine completely naked over the next week

photo credit: Martin Gommel via photopin cc

– OR –

miss out on a year of your life because you were asleep?

photo credit: kooklanekookla via photopin cc

***

Which will it be, clever readers? Will you choose to go about your week sans clothing? Or will you choose to lose out on a year of your life in a deep slumber? Which one could you live with? The tea is steeped, the pillows are fluffed, and my ears are tuned to your answers. I always love to hear from you.

From Goodreads: “Set over the course of one school year in 1986, Eleanor and Park is the story of two star-crossed misfits – smart enough to know that first love almost never lasts, but brave and desperate enough to try. When Eleanor meets Park, you’ll remember your own first love – and just how hard it pulled you under.”

Told in alternating chapters between Eleanor’s and Park’s third person point of view, you’re treated to the different perspectives on the unfolding relationship between them. I didn’t realize the novel was structured this way when I picked it up, but I especially loved seeing how another author (successfully) pulled off this kind of narrative since I’m in the process of editing my YA novel, which is also told in alternating boy-girl chapters.

Here’s one of my favorite parts of the book:

(Park and Eleanor first meet on the school bus. Early on in their budding relationship, he loaned her his Walkman because she couldn’t afford one of her own to listen to a mix tape he’d made her of The Smiths and other bands .):

Eleanor

“Did you like it?” he asked.

She rolled her eyes. “Oh my God. It was… just, like–,” She spread out all her fingers. “–so awesome.”

“Are you being sarcastic? I can’t tell.”

She looked up at his face, even though she knew how that was going to feel, like someone was hooking her insides out through her chest. “No. It was awesome. I didn’t want to stop listening. That one song– is it ‘Love Will Tear Us Apart’?”

“Yeah, Joy Division.”

“Oh my God, that’s the best beginning to a song ever.”

He imitated the guitar and the drums.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” she said. “I just wanted to listen to those three seconds over and over.”

“You could have.” His eyes were smiling, his mouth only sort of.

“I didn’t want to waste the batteries,” she said.

Park

That night, Park made a tape with the Joy Division song on it, over and over again.

He emptied all his handheld video games and Josh’s remote control cars, and called his grandma to tell her that all he wanted for his birthday in November was AA batteries.

I’ll freely admit I swooned a little after reading that.

And then there’s this quote:

“I miss you, Eleanor. I want to be with you all the time. You’re the smartest girl I’ve ever met, and the funniest, and everything you do surprises me. And I wish I could say that those are the reasons I like you, because that would make me sound like a really evolved human being … But I think it’s got as much to do with your hair being red and your hands being soft … and the fact that you smell like homemade birthday cake.”

And finally, this one:

“The first time he’d held her hand, it felt so good that it crowded out all the bad things. It felt better than anything had ever hurt.”

O.k, one more, just after Park held her hand for the first time:

“All through first and second and third hour, Eleanor rubbed her palm. Nothing happened.

How could it be possible that there were that many nerve endings all in one place?

And were they always there, or did they just flip on wherever they felt like it? Because, if they were always there, how did she manage to turn doorknobs without fainting?

Maybe this was why so many people said it felt better to drive a stick shift.”

Clearly, I could go on and on, but I won’t. I don’t want to deny any of you the pleasure of discovering others on your own.

So, what is it about Eleanor and Park that impacted me so deeply?

I was in high school in 1986, so I instantly connected with the setting and the cultural references. But there’s more to it than that. This book also reached me on a much more profound level, namely drawing out the stubbornly persistent, hopeless romantic I tend to keep buried deep within me. The succinct, yet powerfully real and tender prose crafted by Rainbow Rowell was so moving for me in a way that few books can accomplish. It also left me with a ridiculous amount of writer envy that later became motivation to continue working on my own writing.

Maybe this book met me at the exact time I was ready to meet it. Maybe the plot and the theme found me when I was most open to hearing its message. Maybe Ms. Rowell’s words discovered me at the moment I was craving a new writing inspiration.

Maybe it’s all of the above.

Regardless, I can’t recommend this book enough. For the closeted hopeless romantics. For those who went to high school in the 80’s. For those who enjoy a great YA read. For the writers wanting to read an incredibly well-crafted book. For anyone wanting to read a damn good story.

You can snag your own copy of Eleanor and Park here on Amazon.

oOo

Be sure to check out these other WANA Friday posts: (more to be added as they’re written)

Janice Heck: What Would I Do?

oOo

How about you, bookish readers? Has anyone else read Eleanor and Park? How about a recent read that evoked a strong reaction, either positive or negative? Sit, sip, and spill the beans. I always love to hear from you.