Taming the Goblin

The Sunday Parenting Party - the Parenting Smug list

2013-05-18T20:22:00.000+01:00

Its time for the Sunday Parenting Party. Please link up your parenting posts and check out what others have linked up. Please don't link kids activity posts, they can be shared at Kids Coop.******

Last week I shared with you one of my disaster mornings when everything got a bit too much and I felt like I was battling my child. When I've had a bad moment, hour, morning or day I sometimes need to remind myself of the good things that are going on. On a good day just looking at my sons little face or listening to him babble away will make me smile and I know exactly why I love being a parent. But its not so easy when your child is busy wigging out on the floor and you are at the end of your tether. At times like that I need something a bit more tangible. So I look for all the issues we could have, but don't. And I list them:

Well thank goodness he doesn't refuse to eat.
Well thank goodness he sleeps through the night.
Well thank goodness he doesn't ever say he's bored.
Well thank goodness he can play on is own.

I call this my "Smug list" because lets face it, it relies on you knowing what other parents are having to suffer through and being grateful that you aren't having to deal with that on top of what ever trauma you are facing today. Do you have a mental parenting smug list - whats on yours?*****My recommended reads from last week includeAre you a Mama like me? ~ Mamas like meIntroducing your baby to solids ~ Mums make lists12 tips for a smoother morning ~ Carrots are orangeAnd now to the linky

Kids Coop - Ginger bread letters

2013-05-16T12:30:00.000+01:00

It's Kids Coop. Please link up your child related posts and check out what others have been up to. This week I'm looking the following:

*****

(Goblin is 43 months)

Goblin has started to take a bit of an interest in letters. I think this has come from nursery where they are trying to get the children to recognise the lets of their name. As a result any time he sees a word beginning with the first letter of his name he says "that word says 'Goblin'". He doesn't quite understand that the letters can make different words that aren't his name. But it's a start.

I wanted to do some activities at home that would build on this interest, but Goblin can spot a mile off if I try to ram classic education techniques down his throat. And he just won't engage, its of no interest to him. So I have to find ways of incorporating letters into our normal play.

We do a lot of baking so I decided we could make ginger bread letters. We were going to visit friends and we made biscuits for each of the children in the shape of the letter for their name.

We didn't use biscuit cutters. Instead be cut the letters out with a knife so they were bigger than nornal.

When we got to the friends house I got Goblin to hand them out, thus having to match letter to name off child.

And now to the linky

The Imperial War Museum Duxford

2013-05-14T12:30:00.000+01:00

(Goblin is 43 months)

With the weather improving we've been doing more outdoor outings. Recently we took Goblin to Duxford Imperial War Museum. It is not a cheap day out. Tickets for adults are £17 each. Having said that I hadn't appreciated how enormous Duxford is. You could easily spend an entire day there with hanger after hanger of amazing planes, land vehicles, radar and radio equipment, and informed volunteers on hand to explain stuff enthusiastically.

There are lots of exhibits with buttons and levers so children can interact - although some of them aren't exactly at the right height for little kids. We managed to show Goblin some of the science of aircrafts using fans and control panels.
For older kids this is a wonderful place to learn a bit about WWII, but Goblin is a bit young to be burdened with that so we stuck to the engineering and science side of the learning.

And there are things for the adults to drool over too. Hublet was very excited to find the Blackbird - the fastest manned aircraft and heights flying aircraft ever. Even I was rather impressed by how beautiful its engines were.

The museum hangers sit along side a light aircraft runway. So when you aren't ogling the old planes you can watch the little ones taking off.

As Goblin's vehicle obsession has extended to planes over the past few months this was a pretty perfect day out for us. And the open outdoor space meant he could have a but of a run between hangers so he didn't get too antsy.

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The Sunday Parenting Party - "The one where ....."

2013-05-11T14:30:00.000+01:00

It's the Sunday Parenting Party. Please link up your parenting posts, old or new, anecdote or treasured tips, happy, sad, good or bad. Please don't link kids activities, they can be linked to the kids coop.

*****(Goblin is 43 months)

Goblin has been testing the boundaries recently and I have to admit its probably the hardest period of parenting I've gone through so far. He is utterly delightful as long as he is getting his own way and doing what he wants to do, but the second you ask him to do something - even if its putting his shoes on so you can take him to an activity he has asked to do - he will start screaming "no", throwing himself on the floor, kicking, hitting, bellowing. Well wow! There was me thinking smugly that Goblin's two year old tantrums had been rather mild, when actually they just hadn't fully arrived - he was obviously a late bloomer in the full mega meltdown stakes.

I feel slightly out of my depth as to what to do with him. I've read lots of Positive Parenting books and follow all the blogs. I know the theory and on a good day I can put it into practice.

On a good day I can stay entirely calm while he is having a tantrum, but it doesn't seem to actually make a difference. He still has it and it still lasts a long time. At least I have learnt not to worry about what other people think, so I can quite comfortably sit on the floor in a shop while Goblin screams hysterically and rolls himself about on the floor because I won't buy him yet another Hot Wheels. When I feel the tantrum might be abating I offer a cuddle, which sometimes sends him back to screaming, but sometimes calms him and allows us to move forward. So that's what I do on a good day when I am able to implement my Positive Parenting ideals.

But here is what I did the other day when I entirely failed to use positive parenting techniques.

Goblin had taken over an hour to get his clothes on. I had known it would take a while so I'd got started early. We needed to leave the house at 10am to get to the farm where we were meeting friends. After an hour of him failing to get dressed while messing about down stairs I kinda lost the plot. I grabbed him and carried him under my arm to his room where I threw his clothes in and shut the door yelling "You can come out once you are dressed". I then stomped off to my room where I tried to calm myself down.

To my amazement he got dressed really quickly - which actually only served to irritate me as I'd been trying for an hour to help him. But he then refused to leave the house. He said he didn't want to go to the farm, he wanted to go to the steam trains instead. I agreed to check to see if they were running. When I checked on line they weren't running. I tried to explain this to Goblin and was met with "yes they are".

Well what do I do with that?

"No Goblin I checked, they aren't running, we can go tomorrow" his response "Yes they are running" Scream, shout, hit.

Not knowing what to do I told him to go to his room to calm down. I hate the idea of sending a child to their room. It feels wrong to me on so many levels - first because its where they sleep and I don't want sleep associated with punishment, second because I don't think kids are good at calming down on their own, I feel 'time in' is better than 'time out'. But to be honest I was losing any patience I had. All my knowledge of what positive parenting solutions I should use where out weighed by the fact that I couldn't calm down. It was better for the both of us to be apart.

Goblin went to his room and when I felt I'd calmed down I went to find him to try once again to explain that we couldn't go to the trains but we could go and see his friends at the farm. I knew if we didn't go to the farm he'd ask in the afternoon and then get upset when I told him we'd missed it.

But I was met by more screaming that the trains were open.

I went and sat at the top of the stairs and sobbed. I was out of ideas. I don't want to fight with my child. I don't want to scream and shout but sometimes I get worn down and 8am is not the best time for me even on a good day.

Eventually I decided my only option was to be tough and stop offering choices. I went and picked him up and informed him we were going to the farm. "You are three, you don't get to dictate what we do".

He shouted and fought as I marched to the car.

By the time we were half way to the farm he'd calmed down, I'd calmed down, we'd both said sorry and we had a lovely morning at the farm.

But it didn't last long. The afternoon was pretty much more of the same.

Sigh!

Why does it have to be this hard?

*****

My top five from last week are

Peeing outside ~ Raise a boy

100+ brilliant bump and baby bloggers ~ Mums make lists

No School road less travelled ~ Fiddlesticks and Faerymother

Learning to enjoy the ride ~ 3 Children and it

Spin City ~ The Tao of Poop

And now to the linky

Kids Coop - Cardboard boxes

2013-05-09T12:30:00.000+01:00

Its time for Kids Coop. Please link up your child related posts and check out what others have been up to this week. I'm linking the following:

******

(Goblin is 42 months)

As Goblin gets older I have become wiser in the art of playing with cardboard boxes. When Goblin sees a giant cardboard box he instantly starts listing things he wants it to be. So the latest box acquired from our good friends was apparently going to be a helicopter and a boat and an aeroplane.
In the past I would have set to work cutting it up and trying to build an elaborated construction (for examples see here and here and here). It would have taken a lot of time and Goblin would have been frustrated while I was busy with my masterpiece.

So now I stick to a few basic rules
1. Try to retain the structural integrity of the box.
In the past I would have cut down the sides to make the shape more "boaty" but the more you break the boxes integrity the less stable it is and the less durable. This limits the length of time that it will remain intact for play. So keep it looking boxy and get your kid to use their imagination instead.
2. Involve your child in the decorating
In the past I would have spent a lot of time trying to build what Goblin had requested but not included him in the process. Now I try and keep it a lot more simple, and get him to give ideas.
3. Embrace paper fasteners
Paper fasteners are my new secret weapon. All kids like moving parts on their creations right? Well paper fasteners are a super simple way of attaching stuff so it can spin around. Thus giving your child something to fiddle with.

So my latest cardboard creation was a simple boat. I did not try to make it look too much like a boat. Instead I asked Goblin what a boat needed. He told me it needed a propeller (yey! paper fasteners). And a steering wheel (more paper fasteners). After a bit more thought he also decided it needed a radar, start buttons, and flashing emergency light. which were achieved through a yogurt pot, straw and bottle cap.
As we played with his boat I pointed to some barnacles on the keel. "You need to scrape those off so the boat will go faster. Oh and you'll need to pain the hull". My imaginary play suggestion ignited another idea with Goblin. And he set to work actually painting his boat.

And himself!

This simple box provided an entire day of imaginary play. I love cardboard boxes.

And now to the linky

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Outdoor fun with friends

2013-05-07T20:45:00.000+01:00

(Goblin is 43 months)

The trouble with going on an outing with friends who have much younger children is, its always a little tricky finding things to do together that all the kids will enjoy. Recently went to the woods with some good friends and their 10 month old baby.

I love taking Goblin to the woods because it gives him an opportunity to run free and play with the natural "toys" such as sticks and leaves and mud. However, sticks, and leaves and mud are not ideal toys for a baby who is still inclined to stick everything he finds in his mouth.

When Goblin set off at top speed into the woods and discovered a half built den he decided to finish the job. Normally this would be entirely awesome. However he picked a spot deep in the woods surrounded by ditches and brambles and not at all buggy friendly or crawling baby friendly. Fortunately our friends were happy to hang out on a picnic bench by the path and feed Baby T while we played.

Eventually Goblin was ready to move on and we found an activity we could all participate in, walking round the lake. Baby T's dad is a keen fisherman and he and Goblin spent a while throwing bread into the lake and enticing the fish to the surface. Goblin loves Baby Ts dad and enjoyed the one to one attention and information on fish that was imparted.

And further on from the lake there is a special dipping pond at the woods. It has a path around it that allows you to get really close to the water so you can see all the creatures within. Baby T was able to crawl along the path and hang over the edge to look at the newts, frogs and toads. I was very excited by the fact that the frog spawn and toad spawn were right by the path so you could see it and touch it. Did you know that frog spawn is laid in clumps and toad spawn is laid in strips - I didn't. I learnt this from my friends while out on the walk (if you look really carefully in the photo you can see a tiny amount of toad spawn about an inch in from the TTG watermark - the eggs are much closer together). We filled a jar with some frog spawn so Goblin can watch it grow at home.

And Goblin did something I haven't seen him do before. He asked if he could hold Baby T so he could see the frogspawn. I thought this desire to show and share was so cute, and Baby Ts mum was happy for Goblin (with my help) to lift Baby T over the edge of the fence to have a good look at the frogs and toads.

Despite the nearly three year age gap, by the end of the day Goblin and Baby T were bonded. And we had a great day out.

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Project 365 - week 17

2013-05-05T19:57:00.000+01:00

#peascarrots365

Our tadpoles are growing, of the huge batch of frogspawn only 8 tadpoles emerged.

I left a letter and number sorting activity with a letter monster hand puppet as an invitation to play for Goblin.

Goblin liked the sailing boats at Nanny's house

Hublet was excited at the StarWars exhibit at the Mountfitchet Castle toy museum

Hublet and Goblin made a swarm of bees. How many people can say they were delighted to return home and find a swarm of bees in their house?

Our butterflies have formed chrysalis

Goblin enjoyed being a butterfly

The Sunday Parenting Party - Bossy is a sexist term

2013-05-04T14:00:00.000+01:00

Its time for the Sunday Parenting Party. Please link up your parenting posts and check out what others have been up to this week. Please don't link Kids craft activities, these can be shared at the Kids Coop linky. This week I'm linking the following:

******

(Goblin is 43 months)

I've debated whether to write this post. I try not to write judgemental posts and this is sure to come across as one, but actually its asking that we mind the language we use with our kids. Some words are so much part of our culture that we use them without really thinking, but as someone who has been hurt by this particular name calling in my youth I felt I needed to share my concerns.

I want to talk about the term "Bossy".

Bossy is a negative word. Its a name we call children when they are "pushy" and tell others how to do things. Its a hurtful term and it damages self esteem. I should know. I was called bossy as a child.

And it occurs to me that 'bossy' is a term that tends to be reserved for girls. Lets face it when did you last hear anyone call a boy or a man bossy? One could argue that maybe its a trait that is only exhibited in girls. But I think we all know that's not true.

"Bossy" children .......

Know what they want
They communicate their needs and desires
They set direction for themselves and others

Often when they are doing this as young children, they don't consider other people's desires, needs or feelings. But that is the same if the child is a boy or a girl so why do we tend to only tell girls off for being bossy?

Other terms that could be applied to bossy children are

assertive,
self-assured
dominant,
leader,
manager.

And we wonder why we don't have so many women in the board rooms, in politics and in leadership roles. Could it be that every time this natural leadership talent rears its head during childhood, instead of nurturing it we give it a negative label and slap it down?

Of course it grates when a small person is pushy and demanding. But our job is to take the behaviour and show the child how to use the positive attributes of it. How to retain the self confidence and surety but add kindness and consideration. By labeling the whole action with the negative word "bossy", we diminish the child's desire to behave in that way at all. That can make them feel guilty every time they do. It weakens their self-worth.

If we keep calling girls "Bossy", we undermine their desire to be confident, directive and assertive young people. This coudl have serious implications for their role in later life, so please think twice before you call a child bossy.

******

My five recommendations from last week are

The Road to Independence ~ Home grown urban

What does the Montessori term normalization mean ~ Living Montessori Now

Part Timers Guilt ~ Happy Whimsical Hearts

Body Image ~ The Tao of Poop

What's in a name ~ Raising a Boy

****

And now to the linky

Kids Coop - numbers

2013-05-02T12:30:00.000+01:00

Its Kids Coop time again, please link up your kids orientated posts and check out what others have been up to. This week I'm linking the following:

*****

(Goblin is 43 months)

Goblin can count but he doesn't know his number symbols. He is also not particularly interesting in learning them. I know a lot of children do know them by now but I don't think he will be damaged by getting there later than some. But I am trying to ensure that he is exposed to them regularly through play.

And the other day I found a perfect opportunity. I laid out some handkerchiefs that I'd stuck sticky black felt numbers and corresponding dots to. Goblin was playing with his truck and I asked him if he could make some deliveries.

I told him each person was at a garage and they needed the right number of flat marbles delivered to their unit. He happily took the challenge and drove his truck round. I voiced the little people giving him instructions to leave the marbles and helping him count out the right number.

He did a great job with the low numbers, but by the time he reached the bigger ones he realised he could just leave a pile of marbles and get the little people to take as many as they needed. I tried insisting that the delivery driver needed to take back the extra ones, but he wasn't falling for it. Bt it wasn't a total bust because we still got to talk about the numbers.

And now to the linky.

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Great day out - Mountfitchet Castle

2013-04-30T11:18:00.000+01:00

(Goblin is 43 months)

Mountfitchet Castle is situated right next to Stanstead airport opposite the Mountfitchet railway station - in fact it shares the car park with the train station so you couldn't ask for easier public transport links. It's a reconstructed Motte and Bailey castle from the Norman period (think Battle of Hastings 1066).

The Main norman village is up on the hill and the reconstruction retains all the battlements and defences that would have existed at the time. This means that there are plenty of spiky sticks and steep steps so while I felt completely comfortable letting Goblin run around, this museum is probably not for parents of a nervous disposition. Its also worth noting that the castle is on a steep hill, with ditches and cobbles, plus the huts are all quite small with steps to get in, so its not at all buggy friendly.

That said its an absolutely beautiful setting in any weather and young children can run about freely (although you might need to keep an eye because seriously there are spiked stakes sticking out of the ground in places).

There is plenty for smaller, as well as larger children to do, with lots of things to touch and play with. Goblin enjoyed trying on different Norman soldiers helmets and pushing the mill stone round.

However he was having a bit of an anxious day. He doesn't do well with noises at the best of times and today he was totally freaked out by the motion sensor controlled audio that played in most of the huts. This was exacerbated by excessively creepy mannequins dressed as peasants in many of the buildings. There was also a great deal of torture equipment and skeletons on display. I'm sure the idea was to make it appealing to older children in a "Horrible Histories" type way, but for poor Goblin this part of the museum was all a bit too scary.

But he was absolutely taken by the animals. There were sheep and fallow dear roaming freely and the shop sold bags of food, and the dear came and ate out of your hand. We acquired an entourage of ducks, chickens and peacocks while we still had the food with us. But they soon dispersed when the last of the grain was gone.

As well as the awesome castle and village there is a toy museum and dinosaur "park". The dinosaur park is actually just some 'life sized' models of dinosaurs with audio noises pipped through, on the path o the way to the toy museum. Unfortunately it just served to freak Goblin out again.

But the toy museum was a success. There was glass case after glass case stacked with model cars, planes, trains and robots. There was even a Star Wars exhibit for Hublet to drool over. I thought Goblin would be upset that the toys weren't for playing with but he seemed quite satisfied to just lick the windows of the displays.

Despite being on quite a small site we easily managed to spend three hours there and would probably have stayed longer if Goblin had been less tired. There is both an indoor and outdoor picnic area to have lunch in and their tearom does some lovely cakes and sandwiches. All in all I'd say this is a must visit for anyone within a couple of hours of the place.

I'm linking this to

Project 365 - week 16

2013-04-28T21:44:00.000+01:00

#peascarrots365

We brought some frogspawn back from the pond - but I'm finding the responsibility quite stressful!

Goblin loved the Hay loft at Nature Nursery

I had a very early night after having a horrible cold for a week.

Finally got some sunny weather so we had a picnic

Goblin loved boating at the town and country fair

And as well as tadpoles we are raising butterflies, the caterpillars were just about to form chrysalis in this photo

Our alpine is looking pretty

The Sunday Parenting Party - Fostering independence

2013-04-27T16:30:00.000+01:00

Its the Sunday Parenting Party. Please share your parenting posts and check out others that have linked up. Please don't share Kids activity posts, these can be linked to Kids Coop. This week I'm linking the following:

*******
(Goblin is 42 months)

One of my goals with Goblin is to give him as many opportunities as I can to be self sufficient and independent. Not because I don't want to help him out, but because I think everyone gets satisfaction from doing things for themselves and that helps to build confidence and self esteem. We have arranged our house to assist Goblin in little ways, and I thought I'd share some of them.

Kitchen

Bathroom

I'd love to know what you've done to make your house more child friendly?****My top posts from last weeks link up are The evolution of a mother: A scientific approach ~ Seedlings Nursery School

Mommy and Me anger management ~ Prickly momWhy aren't you breast feeding? ~ Mummy Musings and MayhemToilet Learning: Every child is different ~ Two of EverythingFrom Attachment to Available ~ Like Mama~Like Daughter

And now to the linky

I'm sharing this with

Kids Coop - Cress heads

2013-04-25T12:00:00.000+01:00

Its Kids Coop time again, please link up your kids orientated posts and check out what others have been up to. This week I'm linking the following:

*****

(Goblin is 42 months)

I'd forgotten how much fun cress it. Its also such a great quick and simple way to show children how seeds grow. I blew three eggs and bashed in their skulls (she said in a melodramatic way). Then I filled the shells with a few cotton wool balls and some water. Finally I drew some faces on the shells and sa them in a cut up egg box.

I invited Goblin to liberally shake seeds into the shells. He did a good job of getting them spread across the cotton wool. We sat them on the windowsill and waited. After just one night the seeds had germinated. After two they had tiny green leaves. At day three the stalks were poking over the top of the eggs. Goblin had checked on his cress heads every day and was really surprised on day five by how bushy they were.

On day five we decided they were in need of a haircut. So I got out the scissors. And chopped!

I tried to convince Goblin to try the cress but he wasn't keen. When I tried it and realised how spicy it was I thought it was just as well that Goblin hadn't had any. But I left our cress heads to resprout never the less and within three days they had a full shoot of hair all over again. What a satisfying activity.

And now to the linky

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Nature Nursery is back

2013-04-23T12:00:00.000+01:00

(Goblin is 43 months)

A fortnight ago we made it back to Nature Nursery. The farm has been closed for a while because they are doing lots of renovations in preparation for opening the Steiner kindergarden. I was so excited to see what had changes and to let Goblin run loose for a while.

Goblin still wasn't 100% after being ill for so long and this resulted in mini melt downs on several occasions when the flow of the morning didn't go exactly how he wanted. So while I enjoyed feeding the sheep Goblin was busy sulking because he'd wanted to go to the polytunnels.

Once we finally made it back up to the polytunnels he was delighted. While we've been away they have laid a wheelchair and buggy friendly track all the way from the barn to the polytunnels. Goblin and Elfin had a great time exploring them and the various lose parts lying around.

But as usual the best bit of Goblin's morning was some unstructured time just mucking around in the hay barn. He found a pile of nylon ties that had been used around the bails. He called them tomato sauce and the hay was his spaghetti. He and the girls got down to moving the hay around and putting tomato sauce string on the top. And when this imaginary play was done they had a game of hide and seek. I'm so glad Nature Nursery is back.

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Call for submissions

2013-04-22T06:45:00.001+01:00

I am working with some amazing bloggers to put together an e-book to raise funds for a memorial park in memory of Sophie (6) and Madigan (3) Lillard who died in a house fire in January this year. You can read about the memorial park here.
If you are a blogger and think you could help contribute to an e-book celebrating outdoor play, with a submission ready by the end of the month, please read more about how to help here.
The finished book will be ready to receive in the summer so keep your eyes peeled - you can also help by donating to receive a copy of the book when its ready.
Many thanks for your help.

Project 365 - week 15

2013-04-20T21:50:00.001+01:00

#peascarrots365

I had a bit of a theme going most of this week. A bunch of bloggy buddies have been doing a bit of Googlybombing, and there is a pinterest board to share our antics here.

The Sunday Parenting Party - House of Plague

2013-04-20T16:00:00.000+01:00

Its the Sunday Parenting Party. Please link up your parenting posts and have a look at what others have linked. I'm sure you will find something you like. This week I'm linking the following:

*******(Goblin is 42 months)

I am soooo fed up. Goblin has been ill for what feels like an eternity. It started way back at the beginning of March with a hideous cough and a raging temperature. After letting that fester for five days we decided to take a trip down the doctors. They listened to his chest and thought he probably had a chest infection so gave him antibiotics.

That cleared up by the end of the antibiotics and he had a day at nursery before he was floored once more. This time by two hourly vomiting which lasted three days and was accompanied on day two and three by a high fever which obviously we couldn't control as he kept vomiting up all the drugs we tried to give him.

And just when he had recovered from that and was starting to sleep better again (and following a day at nursery - are you spotting a pattern here?) he developed another temperature. This one seemed to make him so lethargic and floppy that we didn't wait five days. We took him to the doctor after only two. The Doctor looked at him and said "Oh my! He's not well" and gave him yet more antibiotics. But this time despite the antibiotics he proceeded to maintain a temperature of 39 - 40 degrees C (86 - 104 F) for the following five days. He was sleeping really badly and coughing through out the night and that wasn't giving us much sleep either.

This prolonged illness made me worry about all sorts of things.
There was the obvious worries:

- Is his temperature going to spike in the night and cook his brain
- is this something more serious that hasn't been diagnosed properly
- will this ever end?

But there were also the stupid parental worries that I allow myself to have

- is he ill because I don't feed him the right things
- should I not fill his days with so much stuff
- Am I making it worse by pumping him full of chemicals?

Now he is on the mend and we are all sleeping a little bit better I have had time to reflect a little. Firstly it gave me a chance to notice the pattern that most of his illnesses came on within a day or so of going to nursery. That's not nursery's fault but scientists don't call small children "super spreaders" for nothing. They are harbingers of germs and their lack of respect for personal space, hygiene or hankies makes them walking infection magnets.
And secondly Hublet and I both commute from London during the week, probably bringing back half the world's lurgy with us. So Goblin has significantly more chance than most of being exposed to germs that his little body hasn't previously encountered.
Still I'm going to up the level of vitamins and reduce the level of activities in our rhythm, in the hope that we might fend off the next bug coming our way.
One thing this experience had taught me is how grateful I am that the majority of the time I have a healthy and happy little human. My heart goes out to the parents of children who are really ill, who have something serious and may not recover. They must be such strong people.

*****
My favourites from last weeks link up are
Parenting Mantra ~ Happy Whimsical Hearts
How to choose the best possible day care for your child ~ Mums make lists
Birth Trauma: If only I'd known ~ Ghostwritermummy
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And now to the linky

Kids Co-op - Rocket streamer

2013-04-18T16:30:00.000+01:00

Its time for Kids Coop. Please link up your child orientated posts and check out what others have been up to this week. I'm linking the following:

*****

(Goblin is 42 months)

Goblin has been enjoying weekly Rugby classes and he particularly likes the throwing practice. He has also been "studying" the planets at nursery. I decided to combine these two interests and make him a Rocket streamer bean bag to throw around.

While the pattern isn't quite easy enough for Goblin (aged three and a half) to manage, I am pretty sure that most middle school kids could make one of these themselves. I just took two Rugby ball shaped pieces of cloth and sewed some decoration on for windows and a door.

I turned the window and door sides to face inwards and laid out two wings and some fire felt and some ribbons also facing inwards. Then I sewed around the edge of the rocket until I had about a two inch hole left at the top.

I turned the rocket inside out and stuffed a plastic sandwich bag inside it. I filled the sandwich bag with lentils and sealed it, then sewed up the hole. The sandwich bag is incase the rocket falls in a puddle - lentils don't do well if wet so this makes the toy outdoor proof.

It got a Goblin seal of approval.
And now to the linky

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Lego Construction

2013-04-16T12:00:00.000+01:00

(Goblin is 42 months)

I usually try and avoid playing Lego with Goblin. I find it quite frustrating trying to design something with a small person asking every five seconds if its finished and then inevitably breaking it about two seconds after you hand it over. But today Goblin insisted that we make lego boats, and by we he meant me.

So I set to work sifting through our giant box of lego to find some suitably boaty parts. Hublet recently dismantled his Millenium Falcon and that has provided quite a few nifty boat shaped bits and bobs. So I soon managed to piece together a few - complete with jets and propellers as instructed. However Goblin has a rather annoying habit. As soon as you have completed the item he first asked for he requests something even more complicated. And today was no exception.
"I'd like a submarine"
Of course you would - *sigh*

Well I have to say I was actually rather excited by my awesome submarine. So much so that I am going to talk you through the highlights: As you can see it has torpedos, and an opening hatch for the men, and the periscope goes up and down and round and round.

In what feels like an ongoing battle between Lego and me, I feel I may have won this round. In your Face lego!

linking to

Project 365 - week 14

2013-04-14T19:17:00.000+01:00

#peascarrots365

Hublet puts together an airfix plane for Goblin

My lovely new boots

Ill boy feeling sorry for himself

The Maltings at sunrise

All the drugs Goblin is on

Chocolates to calm my nerves

A lovely sunset at Nanny's house

The Sunday Parenting Party - Conveying basic information

2013-04-13T14:00:00.000+01:00

Its the Sunday Parenting Party. Please link up your parenting posts and have a look at what others have linked. I'm sure you will find something you like. This week I'm linking a guest post by my Hublet - enjoy:

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Conveying basic information

(Goblin is getting way too old for this shit)

Hublet again after a long gap. Just fill in the intervening months with a variety of baking and Lego based antics. Goblin is three and a half now. He is intelligent, wilful and highly amusing.

Unfortunately, at the least opportune times he is terrible at following basic instructions.

I am sure that the majority of the problem comes from us, we can expect too much, or we can assume that something we think is simple is also simple to a young mind. It doesn’t make it any less infuriating when the smoke alarm is going off, the floor is covered in broken glass and your child is trying to feed a hosepipe through the cat flap.

Here are some which have recently been driving me mad:

Stay still...

No matter how ill or injured he is, Goblin will decide that the best time to run and touch everything in sight is when he is either: Covered in sick; covered in poo; surrounded by broken glass; or wielding a dripping ice cream. The very best way to make him instantly bolt is to look him in the eyes and shout “STAY STILL!”. It is like he knows that something good must be about to happen.

Don't touch that...

I have to admit, that I am as guilty as Goblin with this one. Put me near a large red button marked “DO NOT PRESS” and my hand will start creeping towards it like Father Dougal on an aeroplane.

Goblin is the same with anything which we really not want him to get his hands on but will look at us like a dog asked to do maths when we say “DON’T TOUCH THAT!” (usually leading on to a “STAY STILL”). Examples of this have included: Pools of cat sick, hot saucepans, spicy food, unknown brown goo found on the train, and anything in a public toilet.

Just this week we were in the toilets at a shopping centre, we both went into a cubicle, Goblin did a wee, then we swapped out. Despite me saying “Don’t touch the lock, you can touch anything else in here as we are going to wash your hands anyway, but don’t touch the lock. You are touching the lock, you are still touching it, stop touching it, no, one finger still counts, just stop.” Of course you know exactly what he spent the whole time trying to fiddle with.

Do you remember what happened last time...

I understand that Goblin is still experimenting with the world, and I try to let him do that. I don’t think there is any harm in helping him remember previous experiences in the hope that he might consider changing his actions though. Usually, Goblin has an amazing memory and will alter his behaviour accordingly, but there are a few things that he is totally goldfish like about:

Biting the bottom off an ice cream cone. Yes, you are free to do it, but you do it every time and complain that the ice cream is dripping out.
Mixing all the paints together. It will end up brown. If you are happy to just have brown paint that is fine, but every other time you have complained that you no longer have multiple colours.

Maybe next time he will remember what happened the previous ten times we went through this.

We can’t do that...

Goblin does struggle with the difference between “I won’t do that” and “I can’t do that”. I have spent a depressing amount of time convincing Goblin that some things just aren’t practical or physically possible.

Common examples of this include:

No we can’t go to nursery today. We only pay for you to go on a certain day so we can’t just turn up. Also it is a Saturday so the nursery is closed. And, it is 8pm....
No we can’t go and see Nanny. Goblin won’t listen that she is currently on holiday in the USA, if he pleads and whines enough maybe he will just convince me to change my mind.
A slightly baffling one was when eating a 99 cone with a chocolate flake in it. Goblin wanted to eat the flake, but still wanted the flake to be in the ice cream. He just got increasingly frustrated that I couldn’t make these two contradictory situations simultaneously true.

I think children become so used to parents being able to do things outside their understanding that they assume we are omnipotent.

Pointing

My final challenge is with pointing things out. Goblin seems to entirely forget the whole concept of pointing and looks utterly baffled when I am trying to get him to see the nearby sports car.

“Look there, no, there, where I am pointing. The thing that looks like your red car, it is red, and car shaped. Look at the end of my finger, it is pointing towards a car, my finger is next to a thing, look, just there. I am touching it now, I don't know how how else to tell you where it is.”

With all these things, all I can do is try and stay calm, and remember he is still learning about the world, our language, and the basics of vocal intonation.

And now to the linky

Kids Coop - Hospital Imaginary Play

2013-04-11T14:30:00.000+01:00

Its Kids Coop time again. Please link up your children's activity posts and check out what others have been up to. This week I'm linking the following:

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This post includes Amazon affiliate links

(Goblin is 42 months)

Goblin wanted to play with his cars on his street mat again. He likes me to play with the little people and do some dialogue to accompany his play. But there are only so many times I can say "ooh that car is going really fast" or "wow that was a big crash, is everyone OK". So I decided we needed something additional to change up our play ritual.

So I made a cardboard hospital complete with bandages. This consisted of emptying the porridge sachets out of a box, covering it in white paper (using double sided tape). Cutting a door in the side and using a felt tip to make doors, windows and the all essential helipads. The bandages that filled the hospital were kitchen towel cut into strips. The entire thing took under 5 minutes to cobble together.

Goblin loved this new aspect. He started interacting with "the doctor" and helping to bandage the injured people who tended to be run over in a "Grand Theft Auto" style of play.

Goblin did also get to learn about other medical emergencies that weren't RTAs. This is Goblin attaching a stretcher (which usually lives in the Playmobil Fire Engine) to the LEGO Helicopter so he can airlift Shellington the Octonaut to hospital to put him in a hyperbaric chamber because he got the bends.

Hublet also made Goblin a thermometer using two metal straws, a computer cable, a bottle cap and lots of duct tape. This proved a hit with Goblin listening to our chests and administering medicine. And when Hublet sneezed Goblin administered a medicinal bandage under the watchful eye of the doctor.

I wonder how long it will be before I need to revamp the hospital into something else to keep my mummy sanity.
And now to the linky

Project 365 - week 13

2013-04-07T20:06:00.000+01:00

#peascarrots365

Experimenting with making things look 1950's

Shoes in a tree at a park we found

Day one of our cress heads

Yummy Easter nests that Goblin and Hublet made (I supervised with camera)

Our messy Lego box

Awesome shadows from the morning sun on my way to work

Goblin is sick once again.

The Sunday Parenting Party - Loosening your grip

2013-04-06T14:30:00.000+01:00

Its time for the Sunday Parenting Party. Please link up your parenting posts and check out some that are already linked up - don't forget everyone loves comments. Please don't link kids activity posts, they can be linked to Kids Coop instead. This week I'm linking the following:

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(Goblin is 42 months)

A couple of weeks ago a friend of mine put this as her facebook status

"I just let my son mix the playdough colours!"

It made me laugh because I remember posting pretty much an identical status a while back.

At the time one of the comments I got from a close friend without kids was basically

"Oh my goodness what is wrong with you, why does it matter".

And I thought, yeah why does it?

Some people do like order and neatness in their lives at all times (and that is fine), but I think becoming a parent sometimes tips the balance. There is so much about being a parent that you can't control, that the 'intense' genes start taking over with the smaller things. Lets face it what exactly was I afraid would happen if the pink playdough was mixed with the green playdough?

Today I have a little experiment for you. Do you have playdough in your house? If so, go and get two different colours.

Take the two different colours
Squish them together so the colours blend irreversibly
Acknowledge how that makes you feel

And that got me thinking, if I'm controlling that minor and inconsequential thing, are there other aspects of Goblin's life that I am controlling unnecessarily.

Kids learn by exploring. If we try and control their environment too much we can restrict their ability to explore, and limit what they learn. We can accidentally restrict learning and discovery if we control too much.
How our children play with toys: Always showing a child how a toy works rather than letting them work it out for themselves; Not allowing them to play with a toy in a different way to that for which it was designed; Restricting toys to indoor and outdoor toys so a child doesn't have an opportunity to play with toys in different environments.

How much our children eat and how they eat: Sometimes there is a need to ensure a child is eating enough, but we don't always need to insist on finishing a meal, that takes away opportunities to listen to their body saying its full; Restricting a child's sensory experiences with food by insisting they always use cutlery.

How dirty they get: Restricting opportunities to explore freely in nature because they might get their clothes dirty; limiting these experiences to planned outings.

I'm not saying that its wrong to exert some control in these areas, but its useful to be conscious of why you are exerting that control. I was doing it unconsciously to try and maintain control over the little things? Holding life a little loser has led to many more fun times.

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My five faves this week are
Everything I wish I'd known about Breastfeeding ~ Mums make lists
10 Parenting books recommended by real mums ~ B-Inspired Mama
The Catastrophe Scale ~ Picklebums
Travelling with kids without a car ~ Mums make lists
Play Space: Mini Centres ~ Kz and Me

And now to the linky

Kids Coop - Volcano Unit

2013-04-04T12:30:00.000+01:00

Its time for Kids Coop. Please link up your kids activity posts and check out what others have been up to this week. Don't forget to leave comments if you like what you see. This week I'm linking the following:

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(Goblin is 41 months)

Following an episode of the Octonauts called The blobfish brothers in which the Octonauts rescue creatures from an underwater volcao, Goblin started asking questions about volcanos. We've been taking his interest in things as a cue to try and broaden is knowledge and deepen his interest. So we pulled together a few Volcano related activities.

Hublet and Goblin painted pictures of Volcanos. This is probably the first painting Goblin has done on his own that actually resembles what it is supposed to be so I had a little "proud mummy" moment watching him do this. Hublet's one in the bottom corner is pretty good to: "proud wifey" moment.

Then we cobbled together a volcano model using home made playdough we had already (hence the odd colours) and a coke can. We filled the coke can with bicarbonate of soda and got Goblin to pour in some white vinegar with red food colouring. He really enjoyed the eruption that occurred. In fact he enjoyed that bit so much that we carried it on with a tray of bicarb and a pipette full of vinegar.

We also did some pretend play, rescuing dinosaurs from lava flows consisting of pompoms and playsilks. He loved that I could blow the top of the volcano to create a chaotic pompom lava flow.

We tried looking for Volcano clips on youtube but quickly realised that some of them were a bit disturbing for a three year old so instead we watched Professor Brian Cox's Wonders of the Solar System episode 4 which talked at length about the volcanic activity on one of Jupiter's moons called Io. This was awesome because it tied together both Goblin's new found interest in Volcanos and his interest in planets which he's been developing from nursery. The Wonders of the Solar System series goes a little bit over Goblin's head but he spends the time watching it asking us to explain things. So we talked about magma and the fact that the core of the earth is hot, and tectonic plates and lava. As an ignition of educational conversation the Wonders of the Solar System is a brilliant series for small kids.

And now to the linky

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