It was during this rare, wonderful time together that one of my friends said something that I have had trouble forgetting. I haven’t written about it until now because I wanted to mull it over and I didn’t want to write a defensive, reactionary reply. To be perfectly honest, I wanted to try to forget it.

We were all gabbing away about the trials and tribulations of parenting our various offspring. There was a lot of sighing and head nodding, dotted with laughter and knowing looks. Then she said it…

“Well, I hope that I am teaching my daughter to be less aspirational. Hopefully she can work less than me and stay at home.”

I think if I remember correctly, there might have been a slight pause, but no one really missed a beat and we kept talking. Our group is a mix of all sorts of backgrounds, nationalities and occupations. I don’t know what the others thought, but the comment shot straight through me. I laughed it off, but it bothered me.

I hope that when she reads this, she knows that I am not trying to single her out or have a go at her. I still love her and I’m not holding a grudge against her. But this is an issue that I have struggled with throughout my nine years as a stay-at-home-parent.

Then…today… someone posted an article on the Huff Post about how hard it is for stay-at-home-parents to measure their successes. It so resonated with me. My mind immediately went right back to what my friend had said. I knew I couldn’t put off writing this another day.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I UNDERSTAND. (I really do!) I understand what she was trying to say. I know her and I know that she struggles with guilt over having to work instead of being able to spend more time with her family. Maybe it was just a poor choice of words on the day. But it’s not the first time I’ve heard something similar about stay-at-home-parents. So, after thinking about it long and hard, here is my response.

The facts:

• I am a stay-at-home-parent.
• My husband and I made the choice together that I would stay at home to look after the children in their younger years.
• My husband has a PhD and works in academia. (That means he makes less than most people who do the same job he does.)
• My own background includes working at two of the top 20 hospitals in the USA and in the NHS in the UK in the field of mental health.
• I had a brain before I had kids.
• I still do.

In my time at home I have:

• completed an internationally recognised qualification as a Lactation Consultant
• taught myself basic html, css and how to design and keep several blogs running (including the techy bits)
• learned about social media, online marketing and content creation
• taught myself how to use Adobe products and make all my own online graphics

Many people would say I’ve had a charmed life being able to study and learn so much in the freedom of my own home and in my own time scale. And in one sense, they’d be right. But there’s the other side of things too. Our decision for me to stay at home has meant that we haven’t had a family (or otherwise) holiday that hasn’t been gifted to us by our parents for the entire 10 years that we have been married. We don’t own our own home and we don’t have new cars.

I would love to have a nice car, our own house, regular holidays and clothes that fit me instead of bulging in all the wrong places. I would love to be able to get my hair cut more than three or four times a year!

I know in the grand scheme of things, most of those things are just the icing on the cake. But my decision to stay at home doesn’t mean that I don’t have aspirations. In addition to my writing, I’m working on a few business opportunities to fulfill my entrepreneurial tendencies and hoping that they’ll give me some of that icing!  I also hope that this teaches the girls that they can make their own choices and be their own boss. Beyond that, some of my most important aspirations include:

• For my daughters to learn that family comes first.
• To teach them to be content with what they’ve been given and to be resourceful and confident to reach for more.
• To teach them that we all have choices, and that nothing is perfect. There is a price for everything, whether it’s time away from the people you love, or the inability to give those same people the things and experiences that you would dearly love them to have. But also that the sacrifice is worth it.
• Through my example, show them that you can do what you put your mind to. If you don’t know something, you can find someone to teach you, and learn.
• To teach them to follow their own dreams.

I hope that in years to come my family can look back and remember that I was there for them, even if we didn’t have a lot of the extras. I work hard every day to find ways to be the person that they will be proud to look back on and call ‘Mummy’. That is my greatest aspiration of all. I fail (a lot) but I keep trying.

The answer is, so far… YES!

Just so you know, my target weight is: 100 lbs (which is right in the middle of the healthy weight category for my height.)

Here is my progress so far:

Start- 28 Feb 2013

Week 1 
Weight: 131.8 lbs
Waist: 36.5″
BMI: 27.5 (Overweight)

This was a Thursday, so it was only a half a week of fasting.

Week 2

2 Mar 2013
Weight: 130.1 lbs

4 Mar 2013
Weight: 129.6 lbs
Waist: 35.0″

6 Mar 2013
Weight: 128.4 lbs

7 Mar 2013
Weight: 129.2 lbs

Week 3

16 Mar 2013
Weight: 128.2 lbs
Waist: 34.3″

Week 4

22 Mar 2013
Weight: 127.6 lbs
Waist: 34.0″

Week 5

26 Mar 2013
Weight: 126.6 lbs

30 Mar 2013
Weight: 125.4 lbs
BMI: 26.2 (Overweight)

Month 2

Week 6

3 Apr 2013
Weight: 128.0 lbs

4 Apr 2013
Weight: 125.8 lbs

The recommendation is to weigh yourself once a week on the same day and at the same time. I tend to weigh myself about 3 times a week. I wanted to post some of the in between weights so you can see that there has been some up and down fluctuation, but nothing major. The trend is continuing downwards, and for me, that is a  MASSIVE success!

I’d be lying though if I didn’t admit that the first few times the scales went up, I did get disappointed. One of the only reasons that I didn’t get REALLY upset is because I have a fab friend who is my fast-buddy. She’s been doing it longer than me and talked me through some of her experiences and just generally kept me positive and motivated. Because I like to pay it forward, I have started a Facebook group for anyone doing 5:2 called Life in the Fast Lane. Join us so we’re all on the ride together!

I will be posting some food ideas and recipes here on the blog, so check back soon, or join my Readers List up there on the right side where it says ‘From My Desk To Yours’. It takes less than 5 minutes and it’s free!

A quick way to lose weight? How fast?

I found out about The Fast Diet when a friend mentioned that she was starting it a few weeks ago. I had never heard of it, and frankly, I wasn’t really planning to get back into a fitness programme. I had been completely committed and motivated for 3 years and lost a grand total of 2.4 lbs! (Yes, you heard right. 3 years… not weeks… not months…years.) I had pretty much had it with all things fitness because nothing seemed to work for me! When I went to the GP and talked about it, I told her I had tried everything from 1200-1400 calories restriction, working out 6 days a week, to teaching a hoop fitness class for two hours a week! Still, the weight wouldn’t budge. She suggested that I might need to go as low as 500-600 calories per day, and that some people just needed less to achieve a healthy weight. I was stunned, and you know what? I really, REALLY did not want to restrict what I ate THAT much. So I didn’t. I gave up. I did not make peace with my body either.

So, for the last 4-ish years I have been in a constant state of hating my body and feeling hopeless to be able to do anything about it. I have watched friends and family try various regimes and lose weight. I have done my best to smile and be encouraging and celebrate their successes, while inside I’ve died just a little bit each time. I’ve cried in secret. I’ve prayed and then cried some more.

Despite all this, I’m ever the research hound and I can’t help myself from finding out about new things, so I half-heartedly googled The Fast Diet. I found out that it was a book which was the result of a research documentary on the BBC by Dr. Michael Mosley called ‘Eat, Fast, Live Longer’. Here is the book description on Amazon:

THE OFFICIAL 5:2 DIET

IS IT POSSIBLE TO EAT WELL, MOST OF THE TIME, AND GET SLIMMER AND HEALTHIER AS YOU DO IT?
WITH THE FAST DIET IT IS.

This revolutionary new approach to weight loss really is as simple as it sounds: you eat normally five days a week, then for just two days you cut your calories (500 for women, 600 for men).
Scientific trials of Intermittent Fasting have shown that it will not only help the pounds fly off but also lower your risk of a range of diseases, including diabetes, heart disease and cancer.
Dr Michael Mosley, the medical journalist whose BBC Horizon programme alerted the world to the Intermittent Fasting phenomenon, presents the fascinating science behind the 5:2 diet. Mimi Spencer, award-winning food and fashion writer, explains the practicalities of how to go about it.
The Fast Diet also includes a calorie counter, full colour section, and a whole section of Fast 500 and Fast 600 menu plans which will enable you to incorporate this groundbreaking weight-loss system into your daily life.

It seemed interesting, so I looked up the documentary and found I could watch it online. What I learned made me go out and buy the book…immediately.

Aside from the thought that I just might be able to lose weight by cutting my calories on only two days a week, (only TWO?? Really?!)… the health benefits sounded absolutely amazing. I am at high risk for diabetes, heart disease and have asthma. My picture of health in older age is not a good one without some intervention. If this eating strategy could cut those risks for me as dramatically as they claim to, I’d be more than willing to give it a shot. What could it hurt, right?

So, last week, I did it.

I started 5:2 Intermittent Fasting.

Want to know how it’s going? I will be posting my progress regularly, so you can check back here at the blog. But if you really want to be sure not to miss anything, just join my Readers List up there on the right side where it says ‘From My Desk To Yours’. It takes less than 5 minutes and it’s free! I really hope you’ll join me on my journey.