Tania Rose

Searching for the Muse

2011-09-15T17:21:00.000+10:00

There are times when inspiration abounds, when i find magic all around me, in the smallest things. But then there are times of emptiness. Times where there seems to be nothing but a vacuum or a dark void. I get lost in it's vastness, the depth that seems to never end.

I'm not the kind of person who is generally inspired by nature, though i love it immensely. But it's not the kind of thing that inspires my work. My music has always been an exploration of the human experience, and the endless layers that make up that reality. It's so hard to explain, because it's not something in which words can express completely, which is probably why i have found i tend to gravitate towards writing music mostly without lyrics. Without words, the music can speak of many things...something different each time it is played, even.

So, as a consequence of my inspiration, i tend to find that it's humans who inspire my work. And there are times when i feel such a need to express something that's so close in my heart, but there is no conduit. It's like knowing that there's someone trying to call you on your phone, but your phone has no reception.

It's usually at a time of some kind of personal awakening that i lose my muse. My muse can be anyone...a perfect stranger, a friend, or someone who just arrives in life. But the emptiness of a muse-not-yet-revealed becomes more than a frustration. It grows into a deep yearning. It clouds all of my thinking, and devours my day. No matter how hard i try to ignore it, it plants roots inside of me, and creates havoc. It's like yearning for a lover who lives across the waves, and the ache is insatiable. And there's the tease that at any moment, you could stumble upon it unannounced..

So, here i am, observing my emptiness. I will keep searching for the Muse, for though i feel it is a fruitless exercise, i live in the hope that maybe, just maybe...

The Labour of Love

2011-08-07T11:07:00.001+10:00

I love it when i'm "in the zone" in the recording studio, when the music just seems to come out of me from nowhere, and when something from that moment hits a kind of sweet spot. I love that feeling of synchronicity, even if some of the bits are a bit rough, a few notes pretty jarring, and some of the playing sounded a lot better to me when i was actually playing it.

And then, there's the labour of love...or hate in some cases...when the recording has to be fine-tuned, when the sharp edges have to be carefully ground down, and when the rough diamond has to be patiently cut and polished. Every artform has this process. It can be painful and damn-right annoying. It can see me spending more time walking away from it to clear my head that actually doing the work that needs to be done to make it presentable to the world. Because, you see, i want others to experience it that way i can see it's potential, without having to see past the roughness of the first draft.

Sometimes the process can take so long, i want to throw my hands up in the air and walk away and never return to it. Sometimes i scare myself, thinking that "if this keeps up" i may never finish it, or i'll get so "over it", that i'll no longer hear any magic. I occasionally wonder how long before that labour of love becomes the thorn in my side, especially when it's only a technical problem that's holding up the birth. It's enough fear to keep me motivated to get it done whilst the motivation is there, because i can never guarantee i'll feel the same about it tomorrow.

But recently i spoke of how much i enjoy being privy to the process of others, and so i made a decision...to share some works-in-process, with their warts and all. I've given myself a challenge to spend more time in the creating and sharing of drafts than in the polishing. I'm going to put aside my desire for detail, and leave things a bit raw and "not quite right". Maybe someone else might enjoy hearing my own progress through a piece as much as i enjoy watching another artist evolve their piece of art. Who knows. Maybe there's people out there who would actually prefer to hear drafts than listen to something slick and shiny.

And you know what? it feels GOOD.

Stronger Today demo mix7aug2011 by taniarose

Art In A Crisis!

2011-07-08T13:00:00.000+10:00

When a life crisis hits, many creative people instinctively turn towards their art. Sometimes they can experience a manic surge of artistic activity, creating large bodies of work within a short time-frame. For many artists, life's misadventures can help build creativity and dedication. So what's the drive?

Celluloid by Tania Rose

Friends and family sometimes find it difficult to witness a creative loved-one disappear into their world of art, assuming that they are using it to "escape the truth", or "ignore" those around them. But often there is something more going on. Many artists first discover their need for creating art through a negative experience, or a sudden change of circumstances. If they were lucky enough to have discovered it from a young age, their art may be the only reliable constant in their lives they feel they have control over.

Professionals in medicine are now beginning to understand how powerful creativity is in promoting healing and good mental health during times of crisis. through art, we can express things that cannot be said, cannot be changed, or cannot be understood. It also infuses a sense of empowerment and strength, and the process offers a place to purge and analyse oneself and try and make sense of the world around us.

So next time your artist locks themselves away and goes crazy with the art, think of it as a GOOD thing, They might just emerge a stronger and healthier person.

Fiddly and the Dilly-Dally

2011-03-02T12:31:00.001+11:00

Creating something can be a fiddly business. It can be extremely time-consuming and laborious. This isn't to say that it's not enjoyable, but it can be a painstakingly looooong process, full of yes/no, maybe/maybe-not, will/wont i, dilly/dally...

For the painter, who may take months to finish a work, it can be a difficult thing to see an audience spend only a few seconds looking at the finished piece before moving on. Blood, sweat, and tears can go into a work, and an artist will often pour their heart and soul into their creations, forgoing proper eating, relaxation, and sleep in a bid to achieve a finished piece.

Likewise for other art forms. Music, film-making, and even photography (which can sometimes have a lot of pre and post production work outside of the "click" of a shutter). Art takes time, and for the artist it can be all-absorbing. This is the process. This dedication and care is what creates the wondrous things that we see all around us, from the chair that's been designed by the chair-maker, to the building that's been crafted first on paper. Time and more time are the main ingredients to art.

So, when a piece is finished, most artists will feel an emptiness. Where once there was incredible dedicated effort, there is now a nothingness. Sometimes it can manifest itself in a type of depression or withdrawal, where an artist will seem to skulk, or become ill-tempered. It's ok. All loss is like that, and coming to the end of a journey is a process in itself, one which every artist needs to learn to deal with.

Creating an artwork is in itself an art-form, a head-space. But each piece is unique, and requires it OWN unique head-space, one which will never be lived again. One chapter, one work. We all have to deal with it, and we all have our own ways in which we discover it, live it, and let it go. It's not unlike a temporary love-affair, one which invariably comes to an end.

The upside is usually that one can share their piece with others, finally, after so much has been poured into it. We all hope that you feel something from it. I know i do...

Homus Interuptus

2011-02-18T10:47:00.000+11:00

I love working from home.
I love it because i have small children, and it means i can fulfil my role as a mother and a musician simultaneously. Yes, it does mean a lot of juggling, some rule-setting (for the kids AND for me), and i've had to organise a dedicated space from which to work, but i like it! What i don't like are interruptions...not from the kids (because that's just the way things are with young children), but from people who don't seem to understand that you WORK from home.

The time that i can actually dedicate to working is very precious, as it's been negotiated through the maze of motherly commitments, timetables, cooking, cleaning, clients, customers....you see, dedicated work time is often literally a case of QUICK! i can probably do an hours' work now that the kids are settled into some playtime, and there's a slim possibility they may just stay occupied during this window. Yes, i put motherhood before all else, so "time" is a complicated thing.

But some people like to just call past and "drop in" when i'm in the middle of something. This is very inconvenient, particularly when i'm recording, or in the middle of a difficult edit. Every artist knows that creativity itself can be a fragile thing, and there are many times when i have to cram my artistry into a few minutes. It's not that i don't want to see people, but i do think it's highly unlikely that a friend would just drop in to see me for a chat if i worked in an office for someone else. But because i'm "at home"...do i have a target on my back?

So i have made some rules, and set some boundaries. Firstly, if i don't want to be interrupted, i just wont answer the door. This has literally taken me years to feel ok about it. Sometimes, when i hear that knock or that doorbell, i feel like someone is DEMANDING i drop everything and act RIGHT NOW! I also remind my friends to call me before they visit. Some need a LOT of reminding. The children also now understand that just because someone's at the door, doesn't mean it's going to be answered. Boundaries are important. They help things run a little smoother.

So, if you're like me, trying to keep lots of balls in the air, let yourself off the hook. And if you have friends who are working like me, just pick up the phone before you hop in the car.

You Have A Choice

2011-02-10T13:00:00.000+11:00

When it comes to our communities, one of the most biggest concerns i have, is that people generally seem to think they don't have a choice. They feel trapped in by circumstances. They feel they can't make the changes in their life because life makes it impossible. "I CAN'T do my art because i have to work to get an income", "I HAVE NO CHOICE but to put my child in childcare, even though at the end of the day i'm only $50 better off", "I CAN'T be successful, because no-one will give me any opportunities". These are very real beliefs, with real feelings attached, and real people suffering as a result. So, are the right? Do we really have a choice?

I heard a great talk recently about work/life balance by Nigel Marsh on TED . It points out the obvious, that many people work long hours in jobs they hate to have money to buy things they don't need, to impress people they don't like. Sounds crazy, and it is, yet so many peeps find themselves in this lifestyle. Imagine if we could do things we are really good at, get paid for it, and spend more time with family and friends? Is it possible? it certainly used to be. In fact, only decades ago, a shoemaker HAD to be very good in order to make a living in a small community. Carpenters needed to make things well and take pride in their work, otherwise houses would fall down and he would fast run out of business. So what's changed?

Lies. These days, business is about covering your arse, because someone may sue you for doing a dodgy job. it's about people trying to con their way "up the corporate ladder" to get more money to buy more expensive suits (like, who cares). It's about women leaving their babies with strangers so they can go back to work, so they can afford to put fuel in 4WDs (SUV's) that they bought on credit for very limited justifiable reasons. And it's all based on the lie that THIS is success. More money = a better life. Try telling that to the kid, who never sees his dad because he works 6 days a week, always comes home after bedtime, and is grumpy on his day off because he is so wrecked from his job that at home he lives on a knife-edge. Try telling that to the daughter who wont learn to cook, because her working mother is so exhausted, she can only prepare pre-made dinners. Try telling that to the toddler who gets so used to having to trust everyone as she's bundled about, that she'll happily follow a stranger just because she smiled at her.

I can hear the angry mob brewing. It's hard to hear it, because it's true. It's hard to hear it, because most of them believe that life HAS to be this way. No choice = no change. But there are ways. No-one can change it for you. There is no wonder-plan, but if you are real enough about making some serious changes, then you can.

The most important thing about being able to change, is believing you can be empowered enough to do it. Once this idea becomes a BELIEF, you will automatically make choices which reflect that belief. It might start off small, by negotiating one day a week off, for you to spend some quality time pursuing something you love. Happier people work better, have better health, a better to live with, make batter parents, which in turn make better children. Happiness breeds happiness.

If you'd rather be doing something else, shouldn't you do something about it? And if you're not going to do anything about it, you'd better start getting happy.

Partnerships

2011-01-24T10:40:00.000+11:00

It's a tough thing being a solo artist, having to rely on your own drive and motivation to get you through some of the darkest times. It can be a lonely occupation, one which can end up having go round and round in circles, it would seem. Whilst i have discovered my own ways to get things happening within myself, it remains a constant natter at my door, turning me inward more often than not, as i find myself getting in the way of myself.

Sharing and Caring
Sharing your journey in a partnership is delicate. The only way it can truly work is if you have a give-and-take relationship. Everyone involved needs to be flexible and compassionate, as some things may matter more to one person than the other. Some tasks, (such as the business end of things), can take some negotiating, even in the simplest of terms, such as who is going to do what. It's hard to find a good, long-term relationship of trust, action, and equality. In some ways it's like a good marriage, where people are prepared to flex and grow with the times.

If indeed you are one of the lucky few to find such a gift of partnership, most important of all is communication. In this age of electronic comms, things can get lost in text translation, so keeping things real as often as possible is probably a good idea. If you live or work close by, this can be as simple as having a weekly beer at the pub to chat about the week ahead. If distance separates you, (something more and more common), tools such as SKYPE can keep you in touch face-to-face for free, across the globe.

Who Does What
You usually find that some peeps are good at some things, whilst others are good at other stuff. Working out which stuff comes easily to whom can make a huge difference. For example, if one of you is more comfortable on the phone, then it makes sense to have that person make a lot of the calls. Tech folk should obviously take-on the tech tasks, and writing tasks should fall to the one who is most comfortable with that. This can make a HUGE difference to how you feel about the workload and the peeps involved. If you get stuck on something, see if you can delegate.

The Creative Stuff
Of course the foundation of any good creative partnership is the creative arena, which was probably what drove you together in the first place (though partnerships arrive through all manner of needs). Maintaining a good creative practice will keep you solid on the business end. Momentum is so important. It shapes part of the feeling, and the knowledge that you're working on something that only came about because of a team effort. This is what we fall back on, when all the other business stuff feels too hard. It's what you will keep coming back to, so keep it moving. After all, at the end of the day, it will be what you showcase. No one will see all the 1000s of hours you put in to the website, the opportunities you chased, the arguments you had, and the procrastination you constantly felt at your heals. They will see the art. That's all they will have, so make it good.

MuscularRose aka Peter Grigoriadis & Tania Rose

Be Real
The reality is that people also have lives outside of the project. You can't expect people to put the project before all else, even though you yourself may be at times prepared to do so. Most artists also work a day-job for a living, have families, and a social life. High expectations can result in feelings of neglect and frustration, so you need to be realistic. If someone can only put in a few hours after work each week, but you're wanting more from them, you might have to adjust your thinking to save you from self-inflicted pain. Likewise, not everyone is going to be able to answer emails and messages straight away, even though to you it might feel urgent. Patience and understanding are two of the most fundamental assets you can have, as you'll be doing everyone a big favour.

Results
We all want results, but everyone has different expectations. If you communicate your very least expectations to each other, things might be easier in the long run. For example, if you are working towards an exhibition or an album release, then having your art on gallery walls or a box of freshly pressed CDs in your hand might be a wonderful and realistic goal. Selling your art might be a secondary goal, one which you work towards. If the whole basis to your partnership is based on making lots of money, you may be in for a rough ride. Expectations of this kind of outcome are pretty freaky, and can become highly stressful and intense. Not to say that you cant have this goal, but if you look at things in a stage-by-stage manner, you'll have a much more enjoyable ride.

People
Partnerships are people. This must never be forgotten. No matter how far you've come, what you have done, or what didn't happen, it's all about the personal journey. We are feeling, breathing, human people, so a partnership is all about that. It's a shared journey of a meeting of souls, a walk down the same path, a place where we meet, evolve and nurture each other. Sharing this journey, and taking a path you wouldn't take on your own, can be one of the most extraordinary and precious things you do. With the right people, you can create lifelong working relationships, deep friendships, and and understanding that goes beyond words.

Above All Else
Treasure these things for what they are. People come together for many reasons, and often out-of-the-blue. They are gifts, special chapters in our lives, taking us to new places within ourselves, and providing us with new opportunities of growth and exploration. If we learn from them, we can only become better human beings.

:)

A Gem amongst Gems

2010-10-25T16:41:00.000+11:00

I wrote this in response to fellow creative Karin Taylor today, and thought i would share it, as i feel it relates to all of us artists...

We artists are unique creatures, compelled to create, frustrated by our own inabilities, scarcely acknowledging our strengths, emotional yet removed, intense and often flippant. Our passion can scarcely be matched, and our depth often self-destructive, yet we contribute more to the culture of humanity than any other group.

We are timeless. We are often misunderstood. We are dreamers of the highest calibre. We are timekeepers, and shape destinies. And we must live with ourselves through each and every moment.

The journey is, at best, extraordinary. Above all else, this is what we must remind ourselves.
For we have much to achieve, and very little time in which to achieve it.

Live long and prosper, as you are a gem amongst gems

The Pain of ART

2010-09-06T22:08:00.000+10:00

I love creating.
I don't care what it is...music, an artwork, a garden...hang, even a chicken coop! There is, however, an element of pain involved, as with all robust births.

It a kind of pain that can't be explained. Not a hurt, per se', but a dull and very persistent ache which closes you off...not just from other people, but also from yourself. Sometimes it precedes a rush of emotion...anger, tears...it's like a madness, where you literally lose it. (This is a good time to remove yourself from any proximity to innocent bystanders, such as spouses, or friends you'd like to keep).

I don't understand it, and i have noticed it seems to increase with age. It's like the more i know, the more i have to try and cram through the eye of that needle. i sometimes get the urge to rip open my skin to let out whatever-the-hell wants to come out.

Sometimes it gets too hard, and i just want to run and hide, so i try to bury it down deep. Creative people can only do this for so long before they burst.

This is all counterbalanced by the euphoria that goes with creating...this i cant explain. It goes beyond words. It all boils down to the intense experiences that only the artist can know, and that most people who admire the art no virtually nothing of.

Are we all crazy? possibly. It could be that being a creative is actually a symptom of some brain defect they will identify in the future. The fact is that many artists suffer from depression at the very least, so does this go to make them better artists? maybe.Maybe we're all wired for self destruction on the inside whilst we reconstruct on the outside.

I love creating...

Big Things from simple ideas

2010-05-10T20:09:00.000+10:00

TWIG BENCH & CUBE by Pinch Design

Great ideas often come from the most simple ideas. Things don't always have to be complicated to make a statement, to be impressive, or to make you think. If you can relate to it in a way you have never thought about before, it can move you to take your own imaginings to new heights.

So next time you have a slightly bent take on something ordinary, indulge yourself and create something wonderful :)

When Up Goes Down

2010-03-31T18:44:00.000+11:00

The see-saw of having a creative vocation is a never-ending cycle. Inspiration soars, and then just as quickly disappears. Opportunity knocks, and then suddenly becomes silent. Our world revolves around the unpredictable ups and downs; income instability, creative surges and blocks, successes and failures.

One of the most valuable lessons for anyone in a creative vocation to learn, is that these peaks and troughs are a normal part of the game. What's important is to hold on to the knowledge that the down will end, and the upswing will come. Not by sitting back and doing nothing, but by continuing with a sense of momentum. Sometimes this momentum draws us into new enterprises and new ideas, which can then lead to new inspiration and new opportunities.

When you're in a downward swing, remind yourself that you've been here before, and that there is an upswing ahead. Do whatever you need to do in the meantime...re-evaluate your projects, do some housework, catch up on some admin, send stuff to people, reconnect with previous contacts, make new contacts. Sometimes simply doing something completely different helps, with an ultimate distraction which can get things flowing again. The important thing is to not stand still. Pausing is healthy, but doing nothing at all besides wallowing will only feed negativity.

Remember the law...for every action, there is a reaction.

When Opportunity Knocks

2010-02-28T15:27:00.000+11:00

I'm a big believer in creating your own opportunities instead of waiting around for someone else to make an offer, but there are those rare times when opportunity does seem to knock of it's own accord. Then what?

It's never easy to know what the "right" thing to do is. In my world, this is because i don't believe there is a "right" way, only a series of choices that lead us to other choices...endless forks in the road. We all do, however, want the choices we make to lead us to realities which improve our circumstances, and create more opportunities, so when something wonderful comes along, realistically the choice would be obvious...to take that ball and run with it! Right? Well....

The problem comes down to self preservation. You see, most opportunities contain some kind of risk element to them. One of the most obvious risks is the one which involves drawing attention to ourselves, which can bring up all kinds of self conscious traits. Do I really want to do that? I mean, come on! If i expose myself, people might just see that i'm not some genius, i'm a total nerd, and even worse than that...someone might just ask me to do something that I've never done before, which i might FAIL!! FAR TOO RISKY!!

The truth is that we all do things that we have never done before in order to try new things we have never done before. We once took our first footsteps, which led us to walk, which led us to run, which led us to ride. You weren't born knowing how to operate a computer, or drive a car, or cook a meal...you had to try it first in order to find your way. In your career, this is no different.

So, when opportunity comes knocking, and surprises you with it's generosity, don't slam the door and run and hide under the bed. It's what you actually wanted anyway. Just be careful what you wish for...

Building a New Beginning

2010-01-03T15:34:00.000+11:00

I've never built a house. Does a cubbyhouse count? Nup...ok, then.
But after all these years, Mark and i are building our first home.

Apart from the obvious stuff associated with owner-building (the huge learning curve of unraveling the mysteries of a different industry), this is a journey like no other. Building is significant in so many ways to our life's journey. It's a commitment of the self, the soul, and the security of life. I could draw hundreds of psychological and spiritual parallels with which building a home (and in our case, also a studio) represents, but i wont go on about it, except to say that it's an enlightening experience, and one which stimulates my need to grow immensely.

One thing that's extremely gratifying is being able to get my hands dirty and get stuck into the work. A day spent in the studio editing music is very rewarding, but physically i have little more to show for it than empty coffecups on the studio desk, along with scribbles on a whiteboard and scattered papers...but a day spent digging a trench is real and tangible. And the pile of rocks i have collected is as real as the clay in my boots and the filth in my hair. I can smell the work i've done.

So whilst today i watch the rain come down as i spend the hours amidst the intangible worlds, I'll share with you my gratitude for the new beginning i am helping create. And how humbled i feel next to those with the skills and experience who are sharing this journey with us, and who are helping me to learn how to turn these dreams into a reality.

Sick

2009-12-07T19:37:00.000+11:00

Being sick sucks. It bores me, on so many levels, except for it's one major drawcard...the only thing it has going for it....reflection.

When i'm sick, i think about things in a very different way. I consider what i'd REALLY like to be doing, and ask myself questions about what i AM doing. I take time out, doing nothing but nothing, which gives my head some free-thinking time. I imagine a myriad of possibilities, reflect on things i possibily hadn't thought of since the last time i was sick. I value simple things in new ways, and perceive the mundane in a new light.

I've always got momentum, always doing something, brainstorming, planning, making, trying...but when i'm sick, much of that stops. I'm a totally different me. I stand still. i wait. i stall for time. i stare. i simply stop. And sometimes, something wonderful appears...

Different and The Same

2009-11-23T11:12:00.000+11:00

I had some feedback from a customer today, who bought 4 CDs, then followed it up with the Feather's Breath CD. Their comment was "the music is all the same music on all the CDs". Well, of course that's not true. Sure, like most artists, i don't deny that much of my music has my trademark sound. But Feather's Breath in itself has no electronic sounds on it AT ALL, is all voice and flutes, and is quite a diversion from my other recordings. But i got to thinking, maybe they're right. Maybe all of my music is the same.

I don't think that's a bad thing. In fact, i have also been critisised by some fans who dislike anything which isn't like my first release, the "Coral sea Dreaming" soundtrack. So what can i do with all of this feedback? I know you can't please all of the people all of the time, and there's always going to be someone who has a strong opinion on which music is better than another, but where do i file this in my head?

The fact is, i really have very little choice in what comes out of me. Yeah, i might start off with some kind of concept, or an idea, but when it comes to the guts of creating music, it all just evolves out of where i'm at at the time. Sometimes that's in familiar territory, sometimes in unchartered waters, but it all has one thing in common...it comes from me.

I was looking at an older painting done by the very talented artist Karin Taylor this morning, and i knew it was hers just by looking at it. It's very different from her current work, some 8 years later, but there's a familiarity about it that i recognise. I'm sure i could analyse it to find the elements that make it familiar, but it comes from her, so it is a part of her. In fact i'm glad there is a familiarity to it. It made me immediately warm to the painting, because i enjoy her work.

So, I'm comfortable for some people to find my music similar, and happy also for other people to find my music somewhat eclectic. It's going to be very interesting to hear what others have to say when i begin releasing music in completely different genres. I'm sure, like anything, there will be those who'll be very supportive, and those who'll be critical, but one thing is for sure. It's all a part of who I am, and what i create.

Messy Messy World

2009-11-20T12:13:00.000+11:00

I create mess.
In fact, it's possible the biggest talent i have. That's how good i am at it.
I don't like mess. I don't like living with it, seeing it, or negotiating my way around it, but i'm surrounded by it.

I leave stuff lying around to remind me to do stuff. I leave countless things on my desk, on the floor, in piles, on boxes, in doorways, on benches... each of which is a reminder to attend to something. The problem is that after a while, i just look over it, and dont attend to many of those things at all. Then i get sick of the mess.

I'm also a bit of a hoarder. I hang on to things for many reasons, just like my mother. You see, it might be useful one day, it would be a shame to just throw it away...what a waste. The kids might use that. I'm going to fix that thingamebob one day, and that'll be just the thing. This is encouraged by my strong concerns for the environment, and being mindful of waste. BUT it adds to my mess.

I figure what i really need is a really big white board and keep lists instead of stuff on my desks and benchspaces. I also need some super storage, where i can sort my stuff into some kind of system, and not boxes.

Don't get me wrong. I do have some kind of order, of sorts. All my fabric lives in a fabric cupboard now, and whilst my office and stock room are in the same space, i have no choice but to have SOME kind of order. And i like tidy and neat. When i clean up the space, it begins to feel sacred. It feels new and uncluttered, which makes my head feel fresh. I even have new thoughts, to go with the new space.

Living in a house the size of a shoe box has been challenging, so i'm curious as to how my habits will change when i have space in the near future. But in the meantime, i really do need to make the most of what i have, clean up, and turn my mess into open spaces, where my creativity can be let loose without clambering into a teetering stack of boxes

Artists Boxed

2009-11-17T13:16:00.000+11:00

I was interviewed today in a government artist survey.
As i have come to be accustomed to, i didn't quite fit into their boxes. The questions weren't adequate in their scope, and so i found myself and the interviewer (who, luckily for me, had some experience in understanding the music business) squeezing my work, my art, and myself into the various boxes of the questionaire.

It did get me thinking, though. It got me thinking about where i've come from, how i got here, and how hard i've worked to create my career. I thought about the choices i've made personally to fullfill a desire to persure my goals and my creations. i don't consider that i've made persoanl sacrifices, because i've always prefered to be poor and happy working on my projects than finacially seccure and hating my job. But i realise that i have made personal sacrifices, even though i kept a smile on my face.

Artists get used to not fitting in. We generally don't fit in to the usual boxes, and our works are often overlooked as being indulgent or unnecessary. Yet any historian will tell you that it's the art of all cultures that truly reflects society. Art, in all it's forms, brings people together. It's the music we listen to, the stuff we watch on television, the shape of your coffee mug and the design on your tshirt...everything that came from an idea is a part of the creative stream of our time. Art is an integrated medium, whether we want to believe it on not.

So next time you see that small scultpure hanging on the wall of your local cafe, bear in mind that the next inventer to see that could be sparked to create something that future generations can't do without in their day-to-day lives. That CD that you're listening to, might create a fashion revolution, inspiring a designer to draw to the music, and create something extraordinary, and that photograph in that magazine, could invoke a new way , a better way of dealing with climate change.

So, whilst we will never fit into any of the obvious boxes, consider us an all-inclusive package, right where your sitting, right now.

Make more stuff

2009-11-10T12:48:00.000+11:00

I wish i would draw more.
I love to draw. I drew a lot as a kid. But i rarely do it now. I know other people who draw all the time, and they inspire me to draw more. But i've let it go. Now, i need to schedule in drawing time to my week. That's ok. It's better than not drawing at all. And when my kids first saw me draw, they were flabbergasted, immediately gathering paper and pencils to share the experience. Now, i WILL draw more.

I want to sew more. Sewing frustrates me, because i don't like following the rules. My mother used to sew a LOT. She is an awesome seamstress, probably because she had to make all of her clothes when she was a kid. But she follows the rules. She's pedantic and finicky with it. I'm haphazard, and go off on tangents. But i want to find a place in my life for sewing. She taught me how to sew. I don't want to loose anything she's taught me. Sewing is beautiful.

I've never had my own garden, one that i totally own. But soon i will. I want to fill it with plants that provide something, that contribute. Food, medicine, shelter....a plant for a purpose. But i want them to eventually be self-sufficient, surviving and contributing simply because they exist. I look forward to my garden.

The Artistic Solar System

2009-11-07T15:30:00.000+11:00

The world of creativity isn’t limited to one artform or another. It’s a rich reality of possibilities, and the artist is at the centre of this giant universe, like the sun in a solar system. Sometimes this reality seems still, dark, and unending, but swiftly it can change, errupting into a passionate outburst of color and shape, momentum and life. this is the place where the artist resides, where anything is possible, and silence is merely the calm before the storm

What is Success?

2009-09-15T12:04:00.000+10:00

The topic of success comes up time and again for artists. Everyone seems to have an opinion as to how successful you are, which things are more successful than others, and how much success is enough. But what is SUCCESS? Is it merely the freedom to allow yourself to practice your art?

I think we all agree that there are several sides to being successful. The public side (which doesn't reflect how clever, talented, or wonderful you are) is about media accolades more than anything else, at least in our contemporary world. It's about being popular more than anything, and to some, being popular and well-known is a form of success. People who are not artists often view this as a fundamental perception of success. If you make it to a prime time TV show, you finally have success. For an artists, it can be frustrating for Auntie Flo to belittle your work because you "haven't been on TV yet, not like so-and-so". It's important to keep in mind that being famous isn't being successful, and though many people believe otherwise, this is just a marketing and media ploy to manipulate the public to only take seriously what they control.

Let's take it back a bit and get a bit more personal with the artist. Sometimes works take months, even years to complete. Heart and soul, sweat and tears can be poured into a work of art, often in an isolated environment, where there is a whole introspective monologue going on inside the artists head. The fact that one can complete an artwork is a HUGE success. With so much complexity the artist has in their lives, it's an extraordinary thing, which deserves every accolade.

Making something public can be difficult, but many artists eventually find a way, and the stage is set for a "successful" public perusal, which often includes critiques or reviews of ones work. A bad review? A scathing attack? Do these quash success? No. Let me tell you something about critics and reviewers; they embellish, they create their own story, they are nothing more than a member of the public with a single personal opinion which they must justify in order to satisfy their own audience. A review is rarely about the art, but unfortunately often about the art critic, more's the pity.

What about money? Well, financial success is more about business than art. It really doesn't reflect whether or not something is successful. It's about finding a paying public in a small niche' market. It's about running a business effectively where your customer comes first, providing art specifically for them, and constantly evaluating supply and demand. Sure, an artist can make a squillion dollars, but it doesn't make them successful artists. They have just run or had access to a successful business.

So what is success? Success is really in the eyes of the beholder. If i've managed to get through some of my tasks for the day, i consider i've had a successful day. If i've sold 1 or 10 or even 100 CDs in a day, i consider it a successful day. If i have written a snippet of a new piece of music, had an inspiring thought, made a decision, done a good deed for the day, my day has been a success. I consider myself a successful person, not because i've been on prime time TV, or had great reviews, or sell my works, but because i live a successful life. Isn't that real success?

The Scavenger

2009-07-29T10:45:00.007+10:00

Creative people are scavengers.
They're always on the lookout for something to take away with them. Sometimes it's tangible, sometimes not, but always it's real.
That view.
The sound.
Those expressions.
The mood.
An idea.
The feeling.
That concept.
Those things.

The Scavenger soaks everything up, taking notes...
Scratching below the surface to find something hidden, in conversations or behind gazes, turning what others cast aside into intricate tapestries, exploring strange worlds of the unspoken.

Sometimes it's the thrill of the chase.
Sometimes it's like diving in the ocean.
It's unknown territory.
Private.
Personal.
It links beyond the dry facade of life's daily grind, into the sweetness of the depths of humanity.
It's unspoilt.
Untamed.
Calling out from beneath layers of time.

It's bitterness and succulence.
Pain and immortality.
Truth.
Denial.

The hunt.
The capture.
And then.....setting it free

Space...the final frontier

2009-07-26T18:05:00.006+10:00

(Yes, i know it's a lame title)

Creative spaces are very important to the creative mind. They provide a sanctuary and are usually places of activity. Sometimes they appear pristine and ordered, but more than likely they appear to be jumbled heaps upon jumbled heaps, with seemingly no order.

So what is a creative space? what's it all about?

The room/studio/corner/insert-your-own word-for-it-here is probably the single most important place on earth for the creative heart. It is as much a birthing room as a work space, and demands the same respect. A pile of "stuff" may in fact be a list of priorities, or reminders, like a 3-dimensional white board. It can represent a thought flow, one which is at the brink of creating a new masterpiece. To you it may have no logic, but to the artist it may be their link to their inspiration.

Whatever you do, NEVER clean up a creative space that's not your own unless you have been given permission to do so!

It's not an easy thing for most creative minds to simply flick from one head-space to the next, though many do out of necessity. If it's at all possible, a studio space is best if that's all it is. A small corner of the living room just doesn't bring out the best in an artist, though it may well be of good intention.

Creative spaces are sacred spaces. Here, things are conceived of and born. Here the mind and the heart can meld and ideas can evolve over time. Here is where chapters are explored, lived, manipulated, and developed. It can often be the only place on earth where an artistic person feels safe, at-peace, and free.

Feeling safe is a really important thing, and is often underestimated.
Sometimes a lot of emotion comes out of a person when they are birthing a new idea. Frustrations can overflow, or sometimes the process itself needs to be an angry one to achieve the desired effect, like the painter wildly throwing paint at a canvass. Musicians sometimes cry helplessly when the muse strikes, and writers often need to become their characters to write from a sense of truth. The creative space is a temple of humanity, where life can explode, crumple, run, or die, in a kaleidoscope of temporary madness. It may not always be visible, but the process of creativity can be as large as a universe outside of the tangible reality.

The creative space is a frontier. It's a place where new things are explored and devoured, nurtured and dismissed. It's a powerful force, and one of the most important tools a creative mind will ever have.

Cloisterers & Loiterers

2009-07-24T13:18:00.004+10:00

You've seen them...
They're the ones sitting there in the corner on their own, at the pub, and the cafe', at your regular haunt. Almost always alone...thinking, watching (but not too obviously). If you sit close enough you can almost hear the cogs turning in their heads. Silent observers.

They might be a writer, perhaps an artist, possibly someone who seeks out the experience without participating in one. They are the Loiterers, an unassuming yet often misunderstood breed of creatives, who can easily spend countless hours in these places. Occasionally they'll find themselves so engrossed in a scenario that they'll laugh out loud, but rarely would they accept an offer to join you. The Loiterers are immersing themselves in reality, not participating in it.

Then, they pack up their notepads and memories, and go back to their world, perhaps to include their observations in their art, perhaps to ponder, and possibly to dream.

You don't really know the Cloisterers.
They usually only spend fleeting moments in public. Their world lies in their own sacred space, carefully crafted out of ordered chaos, or fanatical displays. Though they love to be invited, they'll rarely play, but if you're lucky enough to be a part of a small list of trusted people, you will have a friend for life.

Shutting out the world means there is plenty of room for a new one to emerge. A world full of complexity and creative reasoning. The Cloisterer lives in the world they have created for themselves, one that is safe enough for ideas to evolve and delicate works to be created. Their world is one full of dreams and aspirations, where the demons of the creative minds can be kept in check, and where the ebb and flow of the emotional tides can freely be navigated without justification or excuse.

Both the Cloisterer and the Loiterer dwell within each creative mind, sometimes simultaneously. They may at times be hidden by a layer of bravado or an extroverted or friendly personality, but they are there, underneath the surface. And sometimes a creative mind needs to sink into their shadow and explore them, though melancholic in their appearance.

The Cloisterer and the Loiterer are here to stay...

My Work, My Nakendness

2009-07-21T11:02:00.003+10:00

Songwriters sometimes describe performing their songs on stage as akin to standing in front of a crowd, stark naked. When you've created something it can be like that...like you're revealing yourself, exposing all your vulnerabilities, all your weaknesses, your secret desires, and your pain.

Sometimes this is because it's out of those things that our art is created. There are times when our pain gives birth to inspiration, or our vulnerability makes way for an expression of inner strength. But there is also the secrets, the stuff that is unconscious. The knowledge that someone might interpret our work and expose something we didn't even know about ourselves. Like the painter who creates random abstract paintings, only to discover that viewers see more than was intended.

The fear of revealing oneself is something the creative mind deals with every time they show their work to a friend, a family member, or an audience. In fact, the fear of one can far outweigh the fear of the many. I remember feeling extremely uncomfortable with revealing my music to my family more than to a venue full of people. And the individuals i chose to show my works to were selected not only with great deliberation, but also via their placement in time. Sometimes there would be only a window of a couple of days where i was willing to share, and if the right person wasn't around to listen...

But it's not just the uncomfortableness of oneself. Creative people are often extremely sensitive to the feelings of others. So imagine sharing something with someone, but not wanting to put them on the spot in any way that would make them awkward to offer any kind of feedback. This is something often overlooked. Artists generally want honesty. Of course they don't want to be hurt, but they don't want to hear Uncle John say "hey, i like that" just because he might feel he's expected to say that. They don't want pandering, though they do want encouragement. It can get complicated.

My mother is my biggest critic. I know that she loves that i write music, but she is careful not to show too much enthusiasm. This i sometimes interpret as indifference, which i used to find very challenging. She is honest with her own taste in music, telling me in no uncertain terms when she can't stand to listen to one of my pieces, or when it's "alright, i guess". It's complicated because she is my mother, and i want her to show a mountain of pride, and lashings of support, but i admire her honesty. She will tell me straight out that the CD artwork is completely the wrong colour for the music and that she finds a sound irritating, but i lean on the knowledge that she is trying to be helpful and truthful, and not mollycoddle me, and as such i only show her pieces that are near completion. Because i know that the complicatedness of our relationship will become too great an influence, and i would find myself changing things to suit her and not myself.

Art is from the heart, whether it's an awareness or a subconscious influence. It's endless possibilities make it a difficult birth process at times. Revealing oneself confidently, warts and all, doesn't come with the job. It's because of our vulnerability that we can create, so to reveal ourselves takes practice, patience, and a lot of gritting of teeth. It's a skill that must be learnt, like on-the-job-training. It's the hardest thing, yet is imperative if we are to share our talents. It's bracing for impact, crumpling in an emotional heap, lashing out with bitterness and anger, cowering with angst and uncertainly, putting on armour and challenging any opponent. It's all of this and more.

We are what we are, and we do what we do. We're not really eccentric. Just creative minds, with a need to explore.

Creator vs Saboteur

2009-07-17T18:52:00.004+10:00

Ahhh, self sabotage. Anyone who writes music, makes art, choreographs, writes, or does anything else creative knows how closely just that term hits home. Living within each one of us lurks the Saboteur, like a devil on our shoulder. Even when things seems to be going well, we can feel it hiding in the shadows, like a grim reaper awaiting it's victim. It stalks us...patiently...waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike us down, with lethal blows.

The Saboteur prays on our weaknesses, our doubts, our holes. It puts us on the defensive, where we feel we have to justify our place in the world, our community, our home, and even ourselves. And being a saboteur of the self, it remains hidden from view from all those around us. Only we are aware of it's presence, only we can hear it's taunts. It lives with us as we work, and we can hear it panning schemes of our undoing.

But people around us can see it's handiwork. i can see that you are your own undoing. I can see that the only thing stopping you is yourself. I can see that you're making excuses, finding reasons why NOT to do, and making assumptions based on fear. But YOU....you live WITHIN the world of the Saboteur. To you it's not that simple, because it haunts you every day, each time you question anything. For you, it's not as simple as being afraid people wont like your art...it runs much deeper than that. For you, it's layers and layers of torment, complication, and desperation, daily guilt, remorse, isolation, and regret. For you it's not as easy to just get on with it, get over it, and turn a new page. For you, it's the thorn in your side that never ceases.

But the Saboteur keeps you in check. It keeps the fight alive. Makes you work harder. To see the light you have to place it in the dark. It's voice, though haunting, can drive you to prove it wrong. You work is better because of it's unending presence. You scoff at it, laugh it down, drive over it with a lawnmower...mock it until it becomes little more than a shade of grey. It feeds you to do better, fly higher, create greater.

Self Sabotage will always be a part of artistic life. The trick is to use it's presence to empower yourself and your work. It is merely the yang to your yin, the night to your day. So long as you strive for balance, your never need to fear it's influence.