While I’m preparing to let you know my whereabouts for the past few months, you should seriously consider getting your home — and life — together with Ultimate Spring Cleaning.

If you haven’t checked it out, it’s not only help in getting your place ship-shape; there are also 30 exercises to boost your life outside your four walls, and inside your brain.

The whole 30 day plan is here, and I’ll post each day on the Tao of Bachelorhood Facebook page.

If you have any questions at all, I’m here to help.

Let’s get started!

Original article: How About a Little Spring Cleaning?

©2013 Tao of Bachelorhood | Men's Lifestyle. All Rights Reserved.

NOTE: The lucky winner of the Philips Norelco Bodygroom Pro giveaway was Alex, from Nashville, TN. Thanks to everyone who entered!

We’ve spent some time here discussing body hair and what to do with it. We know from surveys that men don’t groom most of the areas women would like them to. But why? Perhaps it’s because it’s time-consuming, hard to do (especially if you’ve got back hair) and requires a drawerful of tools for trimming here, shaving there, edging…it’s a hassle, and most guys don’t like hassle.

Recently the kind folks at Philips Norelco sent me their Bodygroom Pro cordless grooming device, and I jumped at the chance to review it. Not just a trimmer and not just a shaver, it’s designed to groom your body hair to exactly the length you prefer. It’s kind of ingenious, a little stylish, and it’s definitely going to replace some of my current grooming arsenal because it simply saves time.

Two Tools in One

The Bodygroom Pro System is literally a dedicated trimmer and a dedicated shaver in one tool. At one end there’s a clipper head with an adjustable comb/guide so that you can keep some strategic fuzz and avoid looking like an alien. Flip it around and you’ve got a Norelco shaver head, just like an electric razor you’d use on your face — but with the addition of a cutter on each side to clip off longer hairs before the shaver finishes the job. The whole shebang pivots, both up-and-down and side-to-side, for better contact.

That shaver head is the genius part of this device. Usually shaving a body part is a two-step process: first trim the hairs with clippers, then go over the area with a razor. The Bodygroom makes this a one-step process. This could be especially helpful for guys with back hair. If you’ve given up on clumsily dragging a razor around your back while looking in a mirror, or worse, having to get a friend to help, you can get to even the hard-to-reach spots with the Bodygroom’s shaver head, making the process incredibly quick.

Personally, I don’t have a lot of hair I need to shave, but the shaver quickly takes care of my random hairs — you know, the ones you find and ask yourself, “was this there before?” Although I thought about using it for touch-ups on my face, the Bodygroom’s documentation warns not to do that. If I was about to shave off several weeks of beard, however (and didn’t have my i-Stubble), I’d have a hard time heeding that warning, because it looks like the perfect tool.

The trimmer head on the other end of the Bodygroom Pro is personally more useful to me, because I trim the vast majority of my body hair. I’m genetically blessed with a relatively large amount of chest hair — inherited it from my father, whose chest hair wisps out in tufts over the top of his shirts. I’ve always kept mine short but visible, and the trimmer works well to do just that, with the guide pushed up to the appropriate length. It also works well on my armpits and, well, down under. (As with any clippers, take care with the sensitive, loose skin in your nether regions, because it’s much more prone to being nicked. Trust me on this.)

 Wet or Dry?

The other great feature of the Bodygroom is that it’s “water-resistant,” which means you have the all-clear to use it in the shower. I can’t tell you how great it is to have the hair wash down the drain instead of having to sweep and wipe down my bathroom floor or sink after grooming. In addition, by using the shaver in conjunction with soap or shaving cream, you’ll get a closer shave. Water-resistance also means you can clean the groomer by rinsing it out, which also reduces the time you spend in grooming-related tasks. The shaver and trimmer heads pop off for a more thorough cleaning, and the shaver blade is replaceable.

When your Bodygroom isn’t in use, its stand doubles as a charger, keeping the counter looking clean and avoiding the ugly gadget-adapter plague. Kind of stylish, actually.

There’s Always Something

When I trim the various areas of my “coat,” I use a few different lengths, which means frequent adjustments to the trimmer guide. While the Bodygroom’s guide is much better designed than my old clippers, it has a habit of popping off when I try to slide it up to its highest setting. Not a dealbreaker by any means, but a minor annoyance.

Other minor quibbles include the non-replaceable battery (a nickel-metal-hydride cell that should hold the equivalent of around 500 full discharges and recharges before it begins to decline in capacity) and the fact that the shaver head doesn’t pop out for cleaning quite as easily as it should. The second time I tried, it flew out of my hand into the sink and the foil popped off. It all went back together easily, and maybe I just need to get used to the proper amount of force, but if I’d paid good money for the Bodygroom Pro, I wouldn’t want to have the thought that I broke my groomer the first day I had it.

Summary

We’d all like to keep our body hair tidy and free of those funky random patches. The pain point is one of time. Make grooming easier and we’ll groom more often. The Philips Norelco Bodygroom Pro does just that. With separate, dedicated heads for trimming and shaving, it’s an improvement on the company’s other grooming tools and covers all the bases where your body hair is concerned. Shave where you want to shave, trim where you want to trim. It really will save time over the alternatives, and if you’ve been nervous about personal grooming, the Bodygroom Pro should get you off the fence.

Philips Norelco Bodygroom Pro Grooming System (Amazon.com)

Now On to the Giveaway!

As I mentioned at the top of the article, the great folks at Philips Norelco are supplying me one Bodygroom Pro to give away to a reader. It’s incredibly easy to enter — and you can enter more than once using multiple methods:

• Add your comment below this article. One catch here: it must be relevant. Ask your grooming questions, share your story, or comment on the weirdest place you’ve found a hair.
• Subscribe to the Tao of Bachelorhood. In addition to occasionally being hipped to giveaways and promotions, I’ll occasionally send you unique content and information — and just for signing up, you’ll get The Single Man’s Grocery List and Simple Starter Workout!
• Like the Tao of Bachelorhood Facebook page.
• Follow the Tao of Bachelorhood on Twitter.
• Send a tweet including @bachelorhood and the hashtag #BGGiveaway.

If you’re an existing subscriber or follower, you’re automatically entered, but you can still enter again using another method. Do all five and you’ll get five entries for the Bodygroom Pro. Just make sure to get it done by 11:59 pm on August 20. I’ll contact you if you won and get your mailing address.

Original article: Philips Norelco Bodygroom Pro Review

©2013 Tao of Bachelorhood | Men's Lifestyle. All Rights Reserved.

I thought, I fretted, I considered knocking it on the head, but the reality of the situation is that I love this site and what I’ve done here too much to just let it go. Therefore, be prepared for more—because if I’m gonna do it, I’m gonna do it right.

And because you shouldn’t have to deal with this:

Original article: And We’re Back…

©2013 Tao of Bachelorhood | Men's Lifestyle. All Rights Reserved.

Not a fortune; a statement of fact.

In the first part of The New Man Manifesto, we discussed the most basic building block of manliness: habits. Your habits define who you are, and if you don’t like who you are or the life you’re living, changing it is best done one habit at a time.

But what are the habits that set you apart as a great man, or at least a good man?

Most men’s magazines define manhood in materialistic terms: money, sex, power. However, chasing any of those as a “solution” is a fool’s game, and the news headlines are full of men who based their lives on the pursuit of one or more to the point where it cost them more than they gained. Money, sex and power do make for very easy articles to write, and a lot of guys are easily distracted by fancy cars or women in bikinis, so I understand why the “lad mags” promote them.

I tend to side with the philosophers, from Socrates to Richard Layard, who agree that beyond the necessities, owning things isn’t what makes people happy. Manhood, as much as we’d like it to be a goal-oriented achievement we can sketch out like a business plan, derives from within, much like happiness.

And success, as much as we’d like to define it as adulation and wealth, is probably more tied up in what we can do for others—how we use our gift. What we leave behind, not just after we’re dead, but after we’ve left the room. Success is how you feel about what you’ve just done, whether it’s an account-winning business presentation or saying “good morning” to your neighbor.

The other piece of the puzzle is the fact that we’ve got to deal with the customs and expectations of our society, as well as the realities of basic life. You’re expected to pull your weight in some way. You’re not awarded a woman as a birthright; you’re expected to attract one. Ideally you have a circle of male friends—of course, you can have female friends as well, but if you can’t make friends with other men, something’s out of whack.

The Three Elements

A “classic” successful man—one admired by other men and valued by women—can be deconstructed into three loosely defined elements:

• Leadership
• Relationships
• Life Maintenance

Each of these elements overlaps the others, and if you excel in one you’re more likely to excel in the others as well. Each element encompasses a series of habits that you can adopt, change or drop. You don’t have to be an “alpha male” in any element to be happy or successful; you merely have to demonstrate that you have these elements within you.

All you need to know is which habits you need to be successful in each element, and as they say in Britain, Bob’s your uncle.

However, no exact set of habits is going to make you successful or happy, no matter what TV or magazines may tell you. That’s both good and bad news. Bad because you can’t simply string together the “right” habits to get any job or seduce any woman; good because it leaves you room to be an individual instead of a men’s-magazine stereotype.

Instead, these habits act as both social cues to others and affirmations to yourself. When you feel good about yourself, you’ll be more confident and adventurous, enhancing your social cues, which gets you positive feedback from the people you interact with, which in turn makes you feel even better about yourself. It’s a virtuous cycle that improves every area of your life.

How Did You Get Here?

Most men don’t even realize when they start sliding downhill. It’s happened to me, and probably happened to you: one day you look in the mirror and wonder where things went awry. Where they went awry was when you changed one habit for the worse, and that habit begat another bad habit, and before you knew it habits were falling like dominoes.

For example, there’s the classic “my girlfriend/wife broke up with me” scenario: you feel down because you didn’t want to be single, so you drop your workouts for a while and spend your days reading “How to Get My Ex Back” e-books that don’t work. Then you gain some weight, and when you do end up in a situation where you can meet a woman, you’re overweight, feel bad about yourself and fixated on your ex. You get the inevitable rejection due to your negative social cues, so you feel worse, stop shaving or cleaning your house, start playing videogames or going to strip clubs, maybe your work performance suffers…you get the picture.

But whether you’ve hit rock bottom or just want to improve one part of your life, the same advice applies: one habit, then another, then another. Live with each one. Embrace it, obsess over it. Once it’s second nature, move forward.

Which habit do you start with? The real answer is any habit, as long as it’s a positive one. Some habits’ success depends on others—don’t go out meeting women cold if you haven’t built some confidence first. Start with some low-hanging fruit that’s easy to accomplish and guaranteed to boost your confidence. For example, dressing in clean clothes is a safe habit to adopt; not many businesses or people will reject you because you washed and ironed your shirt last night.

Habits Are For the Long Haul

A less obvious example would be giving without expectations. For example, offering to pay the check on the first date. It’s a safe habit to adopt because the vast majority of women appreciate the gesture (societal cue), and when your date does prefer to “go Dutch,” you’ll almost never be penalized for making the offer. While you’ll find men and women who adamantly insist that you should never have to pay the whole check, the reality is that the gesture is subconsciously appreciated nevertheless.

This habit demonstrates leadership (by demonstrating you’re not sitting around waiting to negotiate payment, and that you can afford to take her to the place you decided to take her) and competence in relationships (through a “provider” social cue; whether or not she needs or wants a man to be a provider, she subconsciously prefers a man to show he can be).

But what if your date never returns your calls after that night? Doesn’t this habit hurt you when that happens?

This is where you have to realize why you adopt a habit. You’re not offering to pay for the date in order to buy affection. If she doesn’t return your calls afterward, It’s her loss, not yours.

This kind of habit is about you treating others as you would love to be treated yourself, screw the immediate results. Habits are for the long haul. (Another habit to adopt: never take a first date out for an expensive evening. Not for this specific reason, although as a side effect it will minimize the cost.)

Right-Sizing Your Goals

Because we’re using little habits to improve the bigger picture, it might help if you define success for you by setting some goals, both large and small.

You probably already have a larger goal or two, but if not, how about one of these:

• Have a job doing something you don’t hate and preferably uses your gift.
• Meet enough women that you can find one who makes you happy.
• Have a circle of friends who respect you.
• Enjoy something about your daily life.

These are all goals that enrich both your life and those of others who interact with you.

Once you’ve decided on the big picture, step back and pick something very small you want to achieve. Very small. Not “lose 20 pounds.” More like “visit the gym and ask about a free trial,” “buy only fresh foods at the store tonight” or “buy workout clothes.” From there you can build your fitness habits. You won’t lose a pound until you first make an exercise or diet plan, so focus on the exercise and diet plan.

Small, short-haul habits for long-haul goals.

Next we’ll look at some of the habits and social cues that make up the first element of manhood: leadership. They don’t all involve spending money, but some may involve pretty basic changes.

Original article: The Three Elements of Manhood (The New Man Manifesto, Part 2)

©2013 Tao of Bachelorhood | Men's Lifestyle. All Rights Reserved.

According to the Harvard Medical School, coffee can lower your risk of cancer, diabetes and Parkinson’s Disease.

According to me, it’s a morning ritual that can help you reflect on the day to come, and it tastes incredible—that is, when you combine the beans and water just right.

I’ve consumed buckets of coffee made with different methods, from French press to espresso to Denny’s drip to the massively overpriced (sorry) single-cup “pod” coffeemakers, and if that doesn’t make me an expert, I don’t know what does. My current go-to method of starting my day is also my favorite: the humble pour-over.

In the very first Tao of Bachelorhood video (be gentle with me), I demonstrate the method for creating the perfect cup:

Here’s how to get that elusive perfect cup:

1. Start with cold, fresh water, filtered if you live in an area without naturally clean water. Bring it to a boil.
2. Use whole beans and a grinder, which offer far more flavor than a pre-ground bag of coffee. (And if you’re using a plastic tub of Maxwell House…why?)
3. Place the filter basket on top of your mug and insert a #4 Melitta filter in the basket.
4. Start with a heaping teaspoon of whole beans for every cup of water. (Most mugs will require at least two scoops.)
5. Around the time your water is ready to boil, grind your beans and pour them into the filter. The finer you grind, the stronger your coffee will be.
6. With your water just off the boil (around 190-200 degrees F), fill the filter up as high as you can (without overflowing your cup).
7. Stir! Keep stirring until about 2/3 of the water has run into your cup.
8. Wait!
9. When the filter is completely drained, remove it and drink up!

You may need to adjust the roast, brand and amount of coffee, the coarseness of grind and the water temperature, but with some fine tuning I think you’ll agree this is the best way to get a consistently delicious, rich cup of coffee. You may even become a coffee snob yourself.

How to Make a Perfect Cup of Coffee [YouTube]

Original article: How to Make a Perfect Cup of Coffee

©2013 Tao of Bachelorhood | Men's Lifestyle. All Rights Reserved.

"Gimme a tea, you bastard. Please."

(This is a guest post by Kole McRae of Chilled Soda. If you’re interested in guest posting at Tao of Bachelorhood, you can find out more here.)

You are a gentleman. I am dubbing you one and you are going to learn to drink tea like one. This is important and is a skill that you will use for the rest of your life (if you know what’s good for you).

The art of drinking tea (like a goddamn gentleman) has been around for thousands of years. Ancient British and Chinese cultures had complex and sometimes beautiful rituals around the tea serving process. These rituals have changed over the years but many of the basics have remained exactly the same.

These rituals weren’t made up just for the hell of it. Who would go through all that crap just for tea? Hell, you could just buy some from the guy at ye olde Starbucks.

They created these rituals as a form of meditation and relaxation. The tea ceremony helped people clear their mind, relax, reduce stress and generally figure things out. Other forms of meditation include chanting, dancing or even counting to ten, but this form actually produces something delicious.

So I am going to teach you these basics.

Why? Because it will impress women, impress your boss and get some culture into your head.

There are two kinds of tea drunk around the world: bagged and loose-leaf. The instructions I shall bequeath upon you will work fine for both. I’ll make amendments where necessary. You should use loose leaf though…seriously.

Loose leaf tea has a slew of benefits. It can be reused multiple times, it tastes about 400,000,000 times better and the price really isn’t that much higher. Not to mention it just screams sophistication when you open a drawer to make tea and pull out tins of dried leaves imported from around the world…versus opening a box of Tetley.

Back to my lesson:

First, get out your ceramic teapot. Metal teapots will not do. Seriously, metal changes the taste, get a nice ceramic one. This teapot is never to be washed with soap. You may clean it after use with hot water and hot water alone. Take some boiling water and pour it into the teapot, swirl it around a bit. Think you’re done? Swirl it a bit more to be sure. Now you’re done.

Next, take some pure, cold water and bring it to boil in a tea kettle, saucepan…any way you wish. Before it boils—like, a few seconds before that water starts to fully boil, take it off the stove and pour it into the teapot.

This is not tea yet. Do not drink it.

For each person who is joining you in this tea adventure, put one spoonful of tea leaves into the pot and then add one more “for the pot.” If you’re using tea bags, just use one tea bag per person and one extra for the pot. But why the hell would you use tea bags? Are you some kind of animal?

Let it sit for six minutes. It is now tea. The tea leaves should have settled, but tip the tea pot gently as you pour to make sure they stay at the bottom.

Pour the newly made tea first into your friends’ cups, and then into yours. It is customary to do it in a clockwise direction starting immediately to your left. You must be using tea cups, not mugs. You may then add milk and sugar to taste, although why you would do such a thing to the beauty of tea (tarnishing it with your wicked milk) is beyond me.

You absolutely must serve biscuits at this point. If you don’t, you are liable to be shot on sight.

Play some jazz or classical music and enjoy.

Kole McRae is the writer behind Chilled Soda, a site devoted to the chill things in life.

Original article: How to Drink Tea (Like a Goddamn Gentleman)

©2013 Tao of Bachelorhood | Men's Lifestyle. All Rights Reserved.

He cleaned up well, too.

(Caution: frank talk ahead, with naughty words. Proceed only if you can handle it.)

What makes you a man?

I mean besides your penis.

I get kind of tired of seeing “expert” after “expert” (anyone can be an expert these days) try and lecture us on becoming a “modern” or “new” man. The fact is, the essence of manhood hasn’t changed, isn’t changing and will not change anytime soon, no matter how many pop psychologists want it to.

Don’t misinterpret that as suggesting that a man can’t be a teacher or a nurse, can’t raise a child, or can’t express feelings. These things are neither manly nor un-manly, and anyone who tells you a man has to somehow change to do them is full of shit.

Then there’s the other side: the (usually) guys whose only advice is to “man up.” If you were to break your leg, those same guys would tell you to “walk it off, you pansy.” It’s shotgun advice that in and of itself means nothing. Usually it’s code for doing things the laziest way possible. Well, you’re not an ape or a lion, you make choices based on some amount of self-aware, conscious thought. We’re socialized creatures who have evolved out of using genetic instinct to solve problems and decide courses of action. Thinking is not only allowed, it’s necessary.

So just what does it mean to be a man in the modern world? Get comfy…

You Are Your Habits

Life is a series of small habits that add up to who we are. What we do and how we do it. The way we eat. The way we shake hands. The way we behave when we meet a beautiful woman. How we choose to spend our free time. The way we act in public, and the way we act when no one’s watching.

All of these habits, put together, are you. They’re me. They make us leaders or lovers or loners.

Habits make the man.

The problem with habits is that right or wrong, we prefer the ones we already have, because they’re far, far more comfortable to us than the ones we don’t have. Even the bad habits. In fact, bad habits are often harder to change because we developed them to give us comfort. We eat bad food because the way it tastes is comfortable to us. We watch porn because it makes us feel like we have a sex life. We sit and play video games because then we don’t have to think about what’s troubling us.

Bad habits create inertia, or worse, they move us backward, make us less likely to build relationships, make us unhealthy, or harm our careers. Small habits, like deflecting criticism or grabbing a donut before work or staring just a second too long when a cute woman enters the room, they all add up.

Often, when you think you’re standing still, you’re actually moving backwards. Repeating habits and behaviors that haven’t produced positive results, but expecting things to be different this time—or worse, just shrugging and saying to yourself, “what the hell”—keeps you down more than any outside force you can imagine.

The reality is that to make your life better you must move forward.

The secret is that you don’t have to do it big or do it quickly.

Leo Babauta, author of Zen Habits, wrote about something he calls the “half-step.” It’s the act of pausing, then acting by doing something very, very small, but very, very positive. Your house is a pig sty—do a load of laundry. Your job feels like a dead end—make a list of jobs you really want to do. You’re overweight—take a walk. Then make sure you congratulate yourself on that half-step.

All you need now is a direction to take that half-step in.

Like Steve McQueen

Why am I going on about this?

Well, it’s been a long time since I thought about what I’m doing here at Tao of Bachelorhood. I started this site with the mission to build a better bachelor. I also wanted to avoid the crap other men’s sites do: what sells rather than what helps you. “Tao” roughly means “The Way,” and this site is about helping you find your way.

Shiny cars or expensive watches don’t make the man. Put Steve McQueen in a Ferrari and he’s a badass who knows how to handle the car so well he drove it in professional races. The car didn’t define him, he defined himself. But put a stock advisor in a Ferrari that he only drives around town, and it’s clear he owns the car to define himself.

Steve McQueen wasn’t perfect by any means, but he knew a positive habit from a bad one. Studio executives used to be confused when he’d demand hundreds of pairs of jeans or razors in his contracts. They later discovered that he asked for he items to donate to the reform school he attended as a youth. He learned how to fly a plane and ride a dirt bike. Celebrity didn’t mean holing up in his house. He found his path and he made the most of it.

You need to find the path that will define your life as you want it to be. Not the way it’s shaped by others, not the way it looks in TV commercials. The path that, like Steve McQueen, will make you a singular man.

That’s why I’m here. To share small habits. Good habits. Habits you can put together in a way that shapes your life. Everything from meditation to clothing style to what to say to a woman to how to make a kick-ass cup of joe (that last one coming soon). Because meditating can better focus your mind, your clothes can reflect your personality, talking to women can help you meet that woman you “just click with,” and a great cup of joe can make you feel more ready to take on your day.

I’m not here to pass judgement on who’s a “toolbag” or which TV actress is hotter. It’s not my thing, and I gladly leave that to the guys who really want to do it. There’s plenty of them. My business is habits.

Help Me to Help You

I have a long list of habits to help you with. Actually, I have a long list of habits to help myself with, and share with you as well. I’m also going to enlist others who want to share theirs. (Plug here for the Guest Posting page.)

One of the personal habits I’m working on is asking for help. What I need is for you to let me know what you need help with. What do you seek? What are the bad habits you want to change? What are the good habits you want to learn?

I want to help make you a better man.

Scratch that—I want to help make you the best man.

Believe it or not, this is only Part 1. Next time we’ll discuss the Elements of Manhood: the combinations of habits that define you.

Original article: A “New Man” Manifesto

©2013 Tao of Bachelorhood | Men's Lifestyle. All Rights Reserved.

Update 2/1/12: You can now pick up the Tao of Bachelorhood Guide to Online Dating at Amazon.com formatted for the Kindle. Right now it’s only $1.99—mere pocket change!.)

One of the three bonuses you get when you subscribe to the Tao of Bachelorhood is the Guide to Online Dating, a 30-page book that leads you through the online dating process:

• Find the best site for you
• Set up the perfect profile
• Write your bio for maximum attraction
• Put your best photo forward
• Find the women most likely to have “live” profiles
• Send a message that practically forces her to respond
• Get to the real date quickly

But I’m not here to hype the book—I’m here to let you know it won’t be free much longer. Well, that’s not exactly true: you can always come here and read the original series it’s based on.

The ebook version, however, will be moving to Amazon.com, where you’ll be able to buy an updated Kindle version for a really nominal price (that means cheap). I’ll be looking at an Apple iBooks version as well.

For the next few days, though, you can still grab the Tao of Bachelorhood Guide to Online Dating, as well as the Simple Starter Workout and Single Man’s Shopping List, for zero dollars when you subscribe. Either use the form over there at the right, or if you need more hype, here’s more reasons to sign up.

Original article: Get Your Online Dating Guide…Before It’s Gone!

©2013 Tao of Bachelorhood | Men's Lifestyle. All Rights Reserved.

This year I resolve not to blow up the damn bridge. Again.

If you recall, last year I suggested that instead of a new year’s resolution you consider adopting a motto for the new year. It’s low pressure and gives you a daily mantra that you can live by no matter what happens. It’s good advice and I stand by it.

However, I understand that there are those of you will ignore that advice and solemnly resolve to make a change next year. You may decide it’s high time you quit smoking. That’s terrific. Perhaps you took a look in the mirror and resolved to do something about that spare tire or those toothpick arms. Admirable. Cut out excess drinking (right after the midnight toast)? You should.

Whatever your big plan for January and beyond, I want you to succeed. And while you’ve already shown yourself to be someone who doesn’t take my advice (see first paragraph), I’m here to give you some more.

Don’t Plunge

The first resolution-related thing you should do is step back and really make this count. Don’t just show up at the gym and start randomly lifting weights if you resolved to get fit, or open Monster.com in a furtive attempt to fulfill that “improve your career” vow. It’s been proven that for most people, diving headlong into that resolution dooms it to failure. Need proof? My neighborhood gym is packed every January and empty by October. Case closed.

So sit down on January 1 with a sheet of paper and a pen, and make a plan.

Start with your goal. You’re probably expecting to see “an achievable goal” here, but that’s not what I’m gonna tell you. In fact, make that goal as big as you want it. The sky’s the limit. Buff and cut by June? Cold turkey smokeless? Hang gliding, skydiving and white-water kyaking solo by the end of the summer? In a band with an indie single for the next Xmas season? Fine, as long as you take the next step…

Break It Down

Now take that goal and figure out what you need to achieve it. The first step is to write down exactly what “success” consists of. “Cut and buff” should turn into a percentage of body fat and inches of muscle. “Cold turkey smokeless” should include what you’ll be doing to combat cravings safely. “Improve my career” should include the exact position you seek. Imagining that success is a powerful way to stay on track.

Once you know what success is, start penciling in the steps to get there. Look up the courses you’ll need for the skills that the career requires, and methods to obtain experience. Look up adventure sports instructors and find out how many lessons and how many hours you’ll need before you can go solo (or find out if you shouldn’t). Have someone to call if the nicotine fits or urge to have a drink gets too great, and strategies for avoiding the situations where you smoked or drank in the past. Create a workout and eating plan (have I mentioned yet that I’ve just created something that can help?).

Plan out your months, then your weeks, then if necessary your days. Know what you’re going to do tomorrow, and the day after that and the day after that. Your plan should also contain your plans after you achieve your success, because anything great enough to resolve to do should also be great enough to use as impetus for the next goal.

Don’t Let Your Resolution Rule Your Life

The last piece of advice I’ll give you is the most important: don’t devote every waking hour to your resolution. Give it time to breathe, and yourself time to live the other parts of your life. For most of us, total immersion in our pursuit of a goal will make us either overly frustrated at setbacks or simply burned out on the whole resolution thing.

Instead, make it about small achievements. Take just one class to begin with, or go shopping for the healthy food you’re going to eat this week, or take five minutes to celebrate another day without a cigarette.

When you suffer a setback—and most of us will—your plan should help you handle it. When you know what success is, and when your resolution doesn’t rule your life, it’s easier to get back on track. Look at your plan, find the next step, and continue on your path.

After writing all this, I’ve figured out what my biggest problem is with new year’s resolutions—you should have goals, and the plans to go with them, throughout the year. The changing of the calendar shouldn’t be required. Whether you’re reading this on January 5th, or July 18th, or November 3rd, and you have something you really want, go ahead and make it your January 5th resolution or July 18th resolution or Novem…you get the picture. Pull out that sheet of paper and get started now.

That way, you can just go ahead and adopt a motto at New Year’s, and everyone wins.

Original article: New Year’s Resolution? Do It Right.

©2013 Tao of Bachelorhood | Men's Lifestyle. All Rights Reserved.

Elevate yourself.

Are you stuck? Do you come home after work and fire up the PlayStation or Facebook and fritter away your evening? Do you dread getting up in the morning? Are your weekends all the same? Do you eat the same food, drink the same beverages and watch the same shows? Do you see people on TV living lives you think you want, but you do little more than daydream about it?

Are you happy with that?

I didn’t think so.

Well, your time has come, my friend. You’re going to get your life into a forward gear, and you’re going to start today. Each of the items below can change an aspect of your life that might have stagnated and held you back. And each one requires just one small step to get started. The less thinking you do before taking that step, the better. After you’ve set the wheels in motion, you’ll find yourself in a new life adventure.

1. Buy an airline ticket.

There’s nothing that can open your eyes like traveling to a place you’ve never been before. If you’ve never been out of the country and you can afford it, go to another country. If you’ve only traveled to Western countries, go East. And if you’re on a limited budget, find a city—or better (and cheaper) yet, an out-of-the-way town or national park—that’s unfamiliar to you yet within your means. Just head over to Priceline or Hotwire and get started.

2. Register for a class or lessons.

Everyone has a skill, sport or profession he’s wanted to try. So try it! Whatever your heart desires: skiing, windsurfing, standup comedy, guitar, novel writing, business management, cooking…anything you want to learn, there’s someone out there who wants to teach it to you. Your city parks or the local YMCA offer sports and swim classes. Local community colleges offer classes in a huge range of subjects, including evening classes.

3. Go to the store and buy only fresh food.

If dinner involves removing a box from the freezer or making a phone call, it’s time to change. The stuff in frozen dinners and fast food isn’t doing your health any favors, so give your body the stuff it craves: real food. Make a list (or get yourself a pre-printed Single Man’s Grocery List by subscribing to the Tao of Bachelorhood) and head over to the store. Buy a week’s worth of meats, vegetables, fruit and whole grains and make yourself some tasty meals in less time than you’d think. Stuck for inspiration? Grab a cookbook by Alton Brown (the man’s man of cookery) or Jamie Oliver.

4. Say hello to one woman per day.

What do you say to a woman? Try “Hi.” Say it as you walk by a woman on the street. Say it as you walk by a woman’s table at a coffee shop. Say it when you make eye contact with a cashier (they get paid to let you say hi to them!). How do you do this without being creepy? Walk with good posture, head up, paying attention to the world around you. Don’t stare at her as you approach. Just glance, and if she isn’t looking, glance back again a few seconds later. As you catch her eye, smile, say “Hi,” and keep walking. You don’t have to say anything else…unless she stops to talk you, that is.

5. Apply for a job.

Ever catch yourself pining for your dream job? Well, stop pining and start going for it. Fire up the Interweb and look for something you’re interested in, and apply. Do it right, with a resume and cover letter. Find out the hiring manager’s name if you can and send your application directly to them: relying on the “Apply” button at Monster is like putting a Match.com ad up without a photo—you shouldn’t expect a single bite. If you’re currently working, make sure you let the hiring manager know so they won’t contact your boss. Get that resume updated and fire up Indeed.

6. Start an exercise plan.

If you’re not exercising in some way, your life is going downhill, guaranteed. We were made to walk, run, lift, pull and push things to keep our muscles in tone and our innards in balance. Now’s the time to get things moving in a positive direction, and all you’ve got to do is decide what to do. It can be as simple as writing on your calendar what you’re going to do for exercise each day. Walk a mile, do 30 burpees, swim 10 laps, spend a half-hour at the gym—start at a level where you’re comfortable. If you’re looking for a gym program, might I suggest the Simple Starter Workout?

7. Fill a box for Goodwill.

If you’re like most of us, you’ve got a lot of “things.” In fact, you’ve probably got a lot of things you don’t really need, or things you don’t even really want anymore. Here’s your chance to start the decluttering process. Grab a good-sized box, at least the size of a standard moving box, fill it with things you don’t need, and take the box to your local Goodwill or Salvation Army or other charity. Don’t be concerned about the value or whether you plan to put it on Ebay one day when you have the time (you’ve been putting it off too long). You’ll get a tax deduction that covers the resale value of the items, and the good feeling that you’re helping others in need. And if it felt really good, fill another box. And another. Look for every opportunity to get your stuff to a manageable level. Maybe even take the 100 Thing Challenge.

These are all small steps to bigger things. Take one and follow it. If you find you’re craving more exotic adventure, or feeling healthier, or behaving more socially and with less fear of women, I’ve done my job here. Let me know how you fare.

Original article: 7 Ways to Change Your Life Today

©2013 Tao of Bachelorhood | Men's Lifestyle. All Rights Reserved.