Tapestry of the Heart

If I could speak to my mental disorder...

2016-05-05T22:04:00.002+02:00

If I could speak to my mental disorder, I would tell it that it had no control over me; that I am stronger than it; that everyone else is rooting for me; that I am not crazy and that I have overcome it once, I can do it again.

Daily, I need to remind myself that everything will be ok, that this bug that plagues me like a moth to light will not win. I also have to remind myself to take my emotions seriously; that I am not a baby or over-emotional like the stigma says. I need to remind myself to take it slowly, to breathe and to carry on.

BuzzFeed created this following video for Mental Health Week 2015, it is inspiring to hear what others would say and to know that you are not alone.

A new chapter

2016-04-16T22:46:00.001+02:00

Previously I have used this blog to talk about my religious experiences. For a while I've wanted to talk about mental health, but I was not sure how it would be perceived. This evening, after recovering from a depressive episode I came across this Facebook post by Amber Smith. This cemented my will to write about mental health. How is there still a stigma in 2016? I am tired of fighting it everyday on top of fighting the monster inside. Mental illness is no joke. So I will be writing more of my story and on topics surrounding mental health to help educate and inspire. #StoptheStigma

LOVE AND HATE

2015-05-11T10:00:00.000+02:00

“In spite of everything, I still believe people are really good at heart.”

—Anne Frank, The Diary of Anne Frank

Despite of all the abuse I have endured, all the horrible things I have seen and heard, despite the state of our world, I still want to believe that underneath all the sin people are still good at heart.

When people give into the temptations of sin they can do horrible things and really hurt those around them. I am sure we have all been hurt by someone really close to us and we have inevitably hurt someone we love. It is difficult to deal with when someone we love hurts us; and when we realise that we have hurt someone we love, we don't feel too great either.

The bible gives us advice for dealing with those who hurt us and those we consider our enemies.

“But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. To one whostrikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either. Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back. And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.

“If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to get back the same amount. But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful.

“Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven; give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.”

Luke 6:27 -38

We should not hate those who hate us, or whom we may call enemies, instead we should show them love. This is not being a coward; in fact showing them love will be of a greater influence than showing hatred towards them. It's easy to love those who love you, but anyone can do that. When we know Jesus, He gives us the love to love those who don't love us. We should love without expecting love back.

Life and Death

2015-05-10T22:10:00.001+02:00

For Life and Death are one, even as the river and the sea are one - Khalil Gibran

For out of dust you were taken, for dust you are, and to dust you will return - Gen 3:19

Death is a strange thing, it is so linked to life, yet at the same time, so far from it. Often when death occurs, those who are left behind find their lives tossed around. No longer will the deceased be a part of their everyday lives, no longer will they be able to share life together, death has separated them. Everyone knows that death will occur, we will all die one day. The mystery is when, none of us know.

With the death of my Grandmother, I have rethought the meaning of life the real importance of it. I concluded that the most important thing in life is Love. Without love, we have nothing, we are nothing. When there is no love, there is no peace, there is anger and fear.

The most important love is loving God Almighty. If we are able to accept His unconditional love, we are able to love Him and others.

When we love others, our relationships flourish. Yes it is difficult, there are some people I find hard loving, but when I do show them love they brighten up and our relationship is strengthened. Showing hate is easier, but showing love is more worth while.

Life is short, we need to make the most of it; for ourselves, but also for those around us. We do not live in isolation, we have to interact with others. Showing love in our interactions is more worthwhile than harboring hate.

Marcus J. Borg quotes

2015-04-15T00:58:00.002+02:00

http://www.religionnews.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/Marcus_Borg.jpeg

I have been reading up about Marcus J. Borg (1942-2015) lately, an American New Testament scholar, theologian and author. He is a well known progressive Christian and has shaped Christian thought in many ways.

Here are some great quotes from him that I have found inspiring:

“The Christian life is not about pleasing God the finger-shaker and judge. It is not about believing now or being good now for the sake of heaven later. It is about entering a relationship in the present that begins to change everything now. Spirituality is about this process: the opening of the heart to the God who is already here.”

“The point is not that Jesus was a good guy who accepted everybody, and thus we should do the same (though that would be good). Rather, his teachings and behavior reflect an alternative social vision. Jesus was not talking about how to be good and how to behave within the framework of a domination system. He was a critic of the domination system itself.”

“Christianity's goal is not escape from this world. It loves this world and seeks to change it for the better.”

“When we read Paul, we are reading somebody else’s mail—and unless we know the situation being addressed, his letters can be quite opaque...It is wise to remember that when we are reading letters never intended for us, any problems of understanding are ours and not theirs.”

“When tradition is thought to state the way things really are, it becomes the director and judge of our lives; we are, in effect, imprisoned by it. On the other hand, tradition can be understood as a pointer to that which is beyond tradition: the sacred. Then it functions not as a prison but as a lens.”

“Our images of God matter. Just as how we conceptualize God affects what we think the Christian life is about, so do our images of God.”

“The book of Proverbs makes the same point: Those who oppress the poor insult their Maker, but those who are kind to the needy honor him. (14.31)”

“Other prophets, other messiahs, came and went in Jesus’ day. Routinely, they died violently at the hands of the pagan enemy. Their movements either died with them, sometimes literally, or transformed themselves into a new movement around a new leader. Jesus’ movement did neither. Within days of his execution it found a new lease of life; within weeks it was announcing that he was indeed the messiah; within a year or two it was proclaiming him to pagans as their rightful Lord. How can a historian explain this astonishing transformation?”

From: http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/22721.Marcus_J_Borg

We all have a stage to step onto

2015-01-28T23:47:00.002+02:00

To see Anna Clendening shine on stage after being bedridden by anxiety and depression disorder brings me to tears. What she did was no easy task. Yet she has shown that anxiety and depression disorder can be conquered!

I can relate to her story, I too suffer from anxiety and depression disorder. There have been low points and high points, it is an on going journey, each day is a new adventure. However, in many ways my diagnosis has been a blessing, I have learnt so much about myself and have been able to grow; it has strengthened my faith in God, at times he is all I can hold onto; I have been able to understand others and help them with similar struggles; and I have been able to create awareness.

"It felt like my mind gave up on me", Anna summed up what anxiety disorder feels like so well with these words. It feels like your rational side knows that there is nothing to be anxious about, yet your irrational side takes over making you fear something that is not there.

Anna Clendening has inspired me to carry on carrying on. Someone once told me, "If you don't have problems, you have a problem". Every day we are faced with new challanges, whether they be physically, mentally or emotionally, it's up to us, with the help of God, to step onto our stage each and every day.

Your love, LORD reaches to the heavens. Your faithfulness to the skies.

Psalm 36:5

Big lessons I learnt in 2014 that I will be taking into 2015

2015-01-02T06:07:00.002+02:00

- If you want something, you have to work hard for it.
- Don't have expectations of others, allow them to show you who they are.
- Give and don't expect anything in return.
- Show love, to EVERYONE.
- Everyone deserves a second chance, but that also means that have to prove themselves.
- Don't make excuses, just do things!
- Don't make excuses for others.
- Joy is a choice, it's something you have to make for yourself.
- The Gospel is so important.
- Don't question Star Wars
- Make sure that everything you do is sustainable.
- Show more love!
- Show an interest in people, make them feel special.
- Be grateful, and show your gratitude.
- Make time to rest.

I'm not always successful in the execution of some of these, there is room for improvement in 2015

Love transcends all boundaries

2014-10-26T14:23:00.000+02:00

Humans of New York is one of my favourite pages on facebook. This was a recent photo.

"This is my neighbor. She only speaks Mandarin, so we've never had a conversation. But she's brought me a handful of candy every day for 20 years."

As an aspiring linguist this really touched my heart. Language is a tool for communication, yet actions speak louder than words. People may not remember what we say to them, but they will forever remember how we treat them.

And the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness... 2 Timothy 2:24

ABUSE

2014-09-16T00:35:00.002+02:00

I pray for a time when men are gentle, loving and respectful...

I have a lot of thoughts on abuse, I feel men need to be educated in how to treat women and women need to know how to recognise an abuser. It's not so simple though... The victim sure doesn't see it coming, especially when the abuser is so loving and romantic as Hank in the article below (follow the link to read it). So all we can do is to continue to pray.

"We want to blame the victim of domestic violence — just as I, for a long time, blamed myself. Certainly I shouldn’t have married Hank. But the world a victim lives in — a world of isolation and diminished self-esteem — is not so simple to undo. Once the domestic violence ball is rolling, it’s awfully hard to stop."

Click here: http://www.thefrisky.com/2014-09-09/why-i-married-my-abuser/

Tough times

2014-08-29T19:23:00.001+02:00

I have really had a tough time lately, with studies, with relationships, with life in general. This song is encouraging... We will go through tough times in life and there will be times when we have to just pick ourselves up because we need to carry on with the rest of life, but God is always there and we can always lean on him and be held

Oh My God - Jars of Clay

2014-07-16T22:02:00.000+02:00

Jars of Clay write such thought provoking lyrics, here are the lyrics below:

"Oh My God"

Oh my God, look around this place
Your fingers reach around the bone
You set the break and set the tone
Flights of grace, and future falls
In present pain
All fools say, "Oh my God"

Oh my God, Why are we so afraid?
We make it worse when we don't bleed
There is no cure for our disease
Turn a phrase, and rise again
Or fake your death and only tell your closest friend
Oh my God.

Oh my God, can I complain?
You take away my firm belief and graft my soul upon your grief
Weddings, boats and alibis
All drift away, and a mother cries

Liars and fools; sons and failures
Thieves will always say
Lost and found; ailing wanderers
Healers always say
Whores and angels; men with problems
Leavers always say
Broken hearted; separated
Orphans always say
War creators; racial haters
Preachers always say
Distant fathers; fallen warriors
Givers always say
Pilgrim saints; lonely widows
Users always say
Fearful mothers; watchful doubters
Saviors always say

Sometimes I cannot forgive
And these days, mercy cuts so deep
If the world was how it should be, maybe I could get some sleep
While I lay, I dream we're better,
Scales were gone and faces light
When we wake, we hate our brother
We still move to hurt each other
Sometimes I can close my eyes,
And all the fear that keeps me silent falls below my heavy breathing,
What makes me so badly bent?
We all have a chance to murder
We all feel the need for wonder
We still want to be reminded that the pain is worth the thunder

Sometimes when I lose my grip, I wonder what to make of heaven
All the times I thought to reach up
All the times I had to give
Babies underneath their beds
Hospitals that cannot treat all the wounds that money causes,
All the comforts of cathedrals
All the cries of thirsty children - this is our inheritance
All the rage of watching mothers - this is our greatest offense

Oh my God
Oh my God
Oh my God

I am always moved when I listen to this song, they really describe pain and suffering well. Their songs are also much different to the happy clappy Christian songs that get played all the time. I prefer something like this as it feels more real; it represents reality more clearly.

Have hope - Hold On Pain Ends

2014-06-16T23:18:00.000+02:00

The Noah Film - controversies and misunderstandings

2014-04-06T00:28:00.001+02:00

The Noah Film has finally been released in South Africa, to the delight of some and to the disappointment of others. For weeks we have been reading mixed reviews about it from people all over the world. Some say it is wonderful, while others say it is horrible or just plain blasphemy. Well, here are some of my thoughts.

Overall, it was a good film. With Darren Aronofsky's last film "Black Swan" in mind, I was a bit worried about how it would turn out, however, this was much better than "Black Swan", a film which I cannot stomach. Aronofsky is a professing atheist and in his own words he desired to make this film the least biblical film he could. In many aspects he achieved this, however, God, the Creator, still shone through in the end. In the same breathe, however, I would not recommend the film to new believer's or those seeking biblical inspiration. It is a complex film and portrays the complexities of human thought, especially on the topics of redemption, judgement and mercy.

The general feel of the film is more fantasy/ post-apocalyptic. This is augmented by the camera filters used, the dressing of the characters, the landscape and the ark itself. However, it all fits together very well and brings the story to life.

Nothing worth doing is completed in your life...

2014-03-01T13:46:00.000+02:00

Nothing worth doing is completed in your life time,

Therefore, we are saved by hope.

Nothing true or beautiful or good makes complete sense

in any immediate context of history;

Therefore, we are saved by faith.

Nothing we do, however victorious, can be accomplished alone

Therefore, we are saved by love.

No virtuous act is quite as virtuous from the standpoint

of our friend or foe as from our own;

Therefore we are saved from the final form of love which

is forgiveness

~ Reinhold Niebuhr

"I pinky promise..."

2014-01-19T20:39:00.000+02:00

Again you have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not swear falsely, but shall perform your oaths to the Lord.’ But I say to you, do not swear at all: neither by heaven, for it is God’s throne; nor by the earth, for it is His footstool; nor by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. Nor shall you swear by your head, because you cannot make one hair white or black.But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.

~Matthew 5:33-37~

This scripture can be confusing and it has confused me for sometime. What I have come to conclude is that it means that we should not promise something unless we know that we will be able to carry it out. When we promise something we are saying yes in advance.

Life happens and we may find ourselves in the position of breaking that promise when something more important pops up. By breaking this promise relationships can be strained and trust can be lost. It is therefore, best to not make a promise, but to rather take a rain-check.

Three Gods or one?

2014-01-19T19:45:00.001+02:00

Understanding the Trinity can be difficult. We humans want to understand as much as possible, but when it comes to God it's not always that easy and maybe it's sometimes better to leave it like that, as if we understood as much as God does, we would be God.

Is the New Testament Reliable?

2013-11-28T01:25:00.000+02:00

This is just a short video produced by Wretched on the controversial topic of "The reliability of the New Testament". It is in fact an exert from their DVD, which I think would be worth getting, if one would like to watch the full talk, I know I would :) However, even this small exert shows one the New Testament's reliability!

"Are you God's wife?" - Author Unknown

2013-11-27T00:27:00.000+02:00

This is an adorable little story, that I'm sure many have already heard before. It is a good example of the importance of looking after those weaker than us.

It was a cold day in December. A little boy about 10-year-old was standing before a shoe store on Broadway in New York City. He was barefoot, peering through the window, and shivering with cold.

A lady approached the boy and said, “My little fellow, why are you looking so earnestly in that window?”

“I was asking God to give me a pair of shoes,” was the boy’s reply.

The lady took him by the hand and went into the store, and asked the clerk to get a half dozen pairs of socks for the boy. She then asked if he could give her a basin of water and a towel. He quickly brought them to her. She took the little fellow to the back part of the store and, removing her gloves, knelt down, washed his little feet, and dried them with a towel.

By this time the clerk had returned with the socks. Placing a pair upon the boy’s feet, she then purchased him a pair of shoes, and tying up the remaining pairs of socks, gave them to him. She patted him on the head and said, “No doubt, my little fellow, you feel more comfortable now?”

As she turned to go, the astonished lad caught her by the hand, and looking up in her face, with tears in his eyes, answered the question with these words: “Are you God’s wife?”

We are not judges

2013-11-25T20:12:00.002+02:00

"... Such a negative mindset is a disgrace, the antithesis of One who came into the world not to criticize (judge) the rough ways of fishermen, the extravagance of business moguls, the corruption of tax collectors, the immorality of easy women or the men who use them, the pride and prejudice of politicians, or the swagger of soldiers and enforcers, but as the One who came to live and die as an act of love and forgiveness for all manner of people (John 12:47)." ~Ron Nikkel; Radical Love, pg 48

Jesus says in John 12:47 " And if anyone hears my word and does not believe, I do not judge him; for I do not come to judge the world, but to save the world"

However, it is so easy for us to judge those who do not out their faith in Jesus. In our modern culture, so many things go; it doesn't matter what you believe, as long as you're alive and are contributing to society. One day judgement day will come and all humans will be judged, but not by those who have accepted Jesus, but by the Lord Himself. It is therefore, not our place to judge anyone, now or in eternity. We don't know what is going on their lives and where they stand with God. Judging only creates a bigger wall between us and them and then how will the Gospel ever reach them?

I am not perfect, I find myself judging people, sometimes for the clothes they wear! I have to pull myself back countless times and remind myself that I do not hold that authority. Jesus set us an example, by showing bountiful love and not spewing out judgement, we too should strive to live like that. God loves that He has created, who are we to judge it? Let's thank Him instead.

Matt Chandler: Ponder this!

2013-11-07T00:31:00.001+02:00

Ponder on the gospel. What does it really mean?

Gauteng eTolls Make No Sense

2013-10-20T13:46:00.001+02:00

The Innovation of Loneliness by Shimi Cohen

2013-09-22T18:38:00.001+02:00

Do you yell at your kids?

2013-08-17T15:18:00.001+02:00

Parenting is a tough job and all parents should be commended. I hope to one day become a mother and one thing I promise my future family is that our house will be a house of peace. Yelling and getting over excited takes away peace and it's like opening the door for Satan to enter.

Bow your Knee

2013-07-20T15:44:00.001+02:00

I was introduced to Wretched by a dear friend of mine and have come to enjoy their honesty and desire for the truth. So enjoy the video below :)

Have you ever accepted Jesus Christ as your Saviour? It is the most important decision that you can make! If you would like to, all you have to do is pray and admit that you are a sinner and that you want God's forgiveness that was provided for us through Jesus's sacrifice. And then rejoice in God and your salvation : D!!

If you are struggling to find words, don't hesitate to e-mail me, I would love to help you and pray with and for you! (tapestryofthheart@gmail.com) XXX

Girls going crazy in the Red Light District

2013-07-14T16:54:00.001+02:00

So you think you will dance? Sometimes things are not what they seem. Men, women and children are trafficked - tricked, forced and exploited in the sex industry.

Awareness campaign created by Duval Guillaume Modem and produced by monodot in support of STOP THE TRAFFIK. Visit http://www.stopthetraffik.org/ to get involved. Music: a-shja by Raveyards vs. DJ Uinkxxx