My Medical Journey

MRI

2011-04-05T09:13:00.001-04:00

I have my first Observation MRI on Monday and I'm kind of nervous about it. I'm not nervous about the MRI it'self because I've had so many that I actually fall asleep during them lol but as I keep saying, "this ones for all the marbles!"

This is the MRI that will tell us whether Observation was the better choice to go with vs Chemo/Radiation. I meet with my Oncologist On April 21 for the results of that MRI so of course until that time I get to stew in my juices.

~Tara

Endocrinologist tomorrow

2011-03-28T10:23:00.003-04:00

Tomorrow I meet with my Endocrinologist for the first time and I'm not sure what to expect. Just another specialist, just another day lol I have quite a few specialists these days that I am surprised I can keep them all straight! More poking, more proding and hopefully not too much torture:)

Pain Management

2011-03-27T09:51:00.010-04:00

I've learned that a big part of my Journey is Pain Management and a Balancing Act. Up until about 6 weeks or so ago I couldn't sleep at night because my head would just hurt, well it was tough to sleep at any point because the pressure I have in my head is a constant pressure but it is made worse by laying down. It really sucks because it isn't a "sometimes" thing or a "hit and miss" thing, it's ANYTIME I lay my head down. It's hard to explain how it hurts other than to say that, you know when you sleep a bit too long and you end up waking up with a pressure headache? Well imagine that many times compounded and that's how I feel after laying my head down for a mere 5 minutes, it has really sucked to try and sleep and I've kept my Husband up many nights while I'm crying in pain as we switch out pillows, blankets, clothing, toys, etc to try and find a position in which my head would stop hurting.

I've played around with different support wedges, types and styles of pillows, toys and even balled up clothing: When you are desperate for relief you'll try ANYTHING! What I have is that first and foremost, I have a sleep limit! I use to not only be able to but LOVE to sleep 8 hrs straight, 9 if you'd let me, 10+ if I was sick but I just can't do that now. Now I can sleep 5-7 hrs at a time max. Oh, and I bought a toy worm at Walmart and use it as a pillow, I kid you not:)

I can sleep at night in a block of 5-7 hrs, however the closer I creep to that 7 hr mark the more likely I am to wake up with a headache which unfortunately stays the whole day so I try to sleep 5 hrs at night and if needed I take a 1 or 2 hr nap in the day and that seems to be working. Oh yeah and about that worm lol It's a long plush toy that they had out in Walmart for Sprintime and I thought it might just be soft enough to do the trick and it does help when I need to lean my head to the left. It's odd, but it works. And quite frankly that's all I care about right now.

I've found out that Pain Management in itself is a balancing act but at least I've found what works. As for how long this pain will be with me, I don't know. Until I get a meeting with my Neurologist I won't really know if I should still be experiencing the pain that I am right now or not.

As for why I don't have a Neurologist at the moment, it's an annoying story lol I was referred to a Neurologist in late November by my Family Dr and met with him and liked him. This Neurologist was located in the Cancer Centre in Hamilton which just proves my theory of the one stop shopping for cancer patients! He said he would take me on as a patient if I wanted him as my Dr, but since The Cancer Centre is out of town and at that time I was dreading having to travel there for Chemo/Radiation I asked if I could get a referrel from him to someone back home in the city and he said fine. So I left with another referrel in hand and had my check up with my Family Dr who said that this latest referrel actually moved his practice to Hamilton (the city the Cancer Centre is in) and not St.Cath (where I live) so I said that if I'm going to have to travel to Hamilton that I would like the first Neurologist back because I liked him and he's at the Cancer Centre and I may as well keep all Drs & Documents in one spot. Ok, so you can have him back I'm told, we just have to track him down haha My Family Dr forgot who he referred me too and even though I know the Drs name I forgot how to spell it:) so I have his receptionist on a wild goose chase to track down a specific Neurologist at the Cancer Centre lol I so see my Family Dr on April 1 and hopefully I have my referrel at that point because there are quite a few questions that I have to the Neurologist.

Just a little test

2011-03-18T11:25:00.003-04:00

I have to run out today to the lab just for some tests to make sure my kidneys are A-OK. Apparently the contrast dye that they inject you with for MRI's and the like can screw with your Kidneys and can actually shut your kidneys down. I've been told it's rare and I'm not sure whether that was true or to just eleviate my fears but because I've had over 5 MRI's and CT Scans in the last 7 months and I'm due for an MRI next month, they need to check my kidney function.

At least today is a great day weatherwise to be venturing out:)

~Tara

4 months Seizure free

2011-03-17T02:01:00.005-04:00

I was just flipping through my appointment/record keeping book and noticed something: I have been Seizure free for 4 months. This is a good thing and the fact that I only had 1 seizure after the surgery is a good thing too. When I met with my Neuro Surgeon he said that seizures after surgery were quite common because things are resettling in your brain so not to panic because I an on anti convulsants, but the fact that I've only had one *knock-on-wood* is great.

I still am on anti-convulsants but I was told that I would be for at least 1 year post surgery at the dose I have been on since pre surgery and at that time they will ween me off if I'm not having seizures. One can hope that eventually one day I will be off of this medication and not need it and quite frankly a year will be here sooner than I can imagine.

One day at a time.

~Tara

The outcome of my Opthamologist appointment

2011-03-11T14:29:00.004-05:00

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Having a really attractive Opthamologist with a sexy accent who happens to have an equally cute Intern seems to make it that much easier to be up at 4:30 in the morning to get my eyes looked at:) However, an appointment with an attractive Dr wasn't the reason for my appointment, it was just an added bonus:)

So I went to have my Visual Field Test at St.Josephs yesterday and met with Dr. Rodriguez for the results and the verdict is: There really is no change. I've been saying that I have noticed an improvement in my eyesight but he suspects that's just me learning to adapt to doing things in a different manner. Basically I'm compensating in other areas for the loss of vision that I've experienced.

I managed to yet again stump another Dr too! Yay! I enjoy doing that, it seems to be my thing lol He said that looking at my eyes and the deviation that I have in them that I should have a constant double vision and yet I don't. Immediately following surgery I had very little double vision and now I don't seem to have any at all and he said that by looking at my eyes I really should. The only thing he can figure is that my brain is again adapting and it's trying and succeeding at only recognzing and processing 1 image instead of both at a time that my eyes are seeing. Weird, but cool all at the same time!

So officially, on paper, according to the test results there are no improvements to my vision, I however apparently seem to be adapting well to the perminant deficeits that I now have due to the surgery. So while there are no official improvements there is also no bad news to report which is great. I'll take what I can get and that's just fine with me.

He wants to see me one more time to see how I'm doing but that isn't until Jan 2012. Until we meet again Dr.Rodriguez :)

In the larger scheme of things as well: If this is the ONLY perminant damage I come out of this experience with I will consider myself both lucky and blessed.

~Tara

I'm keeping this blog too!

2011-02-22T21:45:00.003-05:00

So I decided to keep this blog in addition to my new blog so now I have two! The other blog is on a cancer blog site and I will keep it solely for updates on my cancer appointments and things related directed to cancer. This blog I will use as my rambling blog to update about other medical issues I'm facing. So yep.....2 blogs I'll have.

My new blog, check it out!

2011-02-19T22:54:00.004-05:00

So I've had this blog for a while and have continously updated it as I venture through new phases but I have started a new blog elsewhere and will be moving my posting to there. I have found a new home at blogforacure, which is a great community of cancer fighters, survivors and supporters that offers alot of great information and support. If you want to continue to collow my blog you can do so at the following link. Thanks to everyone for your support.

http://taraf.blogforacure.com/weblog

The Rollar Coaster that is my life.

2011-02-17T14:05:00.003-05:00

So I went to McMaster Friday having travelled on the Highway with a VERY full bladder to get there and be asked by the technician, "why do you have a full bladder?" Well let's see, "I'm here for an Ultrasound on my Ovaries to look for cysts" ya know the one my NeuroSurgeon ordered!? Well the technician consults the requisite and we verify all of the information to make sure it's mine and sure enough I'm not there for my ovaries but rather to have an ultrasound on my liver. *sighs* My liver? Yeah I know, I have no clue either, but the technician must have felt so bad for me that she actually did an ultrasound on my ovaries since she said with a full bladder they should be able to get a good picture of them and sure enough she did. She then let me pee, THANK GOD! Seriously what person in their right mind says, "fll your bladder and let's press on it!" seems kind of cruel doesn't it?! Anyways after I was able to pee she then did an ultrasound of my liver. So I had a COMPLETE abdominal ultrasound and will review those results on Feb 25 when I meet with the Drs again.

I recieved notification of my first Observation MRI which is April 11 at Juravinski. I had been going to Hamilton General Hospital for my MRI's but it appears they now have an MRI machine at the Cancer Center which is good because now it's "one stop shopping" for Cancer patients. lol that sounds horrible doesn't it? But I meet with my Oncologist on April 21 for the results of the MRI and to say I'm nervous is an understatement. I was talking to my Hubby about it and trying to pinpoint it but I think there is a part of me that is waiting for the hammer to fall, waiting for the Dr to say, "well we gave observation a try but now we need to do Chemo." I still have to remember one thing at the end of the day: I am a Cancer Patient, and those words are very hard to swallow. I was fortunate enough to have an AMAZING team of surgeons that operated on me and I have chosen as my Treatment, Observation but I could have instead have chosen Chemotherapy & Radiation as it was an option presented to me. Infact I was told that if at anytime I change my mind and wish to do Chemo & Radiation that I can do that as well, but unless it is absolutely necessary it isn't something I'm going to do.

Of course I try to remain as optomistic as possible and hope for the best, but this waiting is something that sucks big time! In fact the Neuro Oncologist I met with in December said that Observation is something alot of people can't do becaues emotionally and psychologically it messes with them and I get that. For the last 2 months I've been wanting my first MRI to come in hopes it would get here, the results would be good and than it would be over and I'd wait another 4 months, and now that it's in the near future I'm anxious about it. So please, keep the prayers and positive thoughts coming because I can definately use each and every one of them.

~Tara

Appointments.

2011-02-09T22:07:00.002-05:00

So I meet with my Family Dr this friday morning and than I have an appointment at McMaster in the evening for an Ultrasound. This appointment is in regards to cysts on my ovaries that I've had for years but no one ever did anything about. So I go and get a Brain Tumor and for some reason the cysts on my ovaries come up in conversation with an RN because my Nuerosurgeon requested some tests to see if I have PCOS. Yes, it's all a weird weeved little web lol but I suppose once this is done and over with I will more than likely have had a physical from head to toe from the inside out! Or as my Aunt Lynn says, I'm gonna start glowing with all the MRI's I have had and will continue to lol

It's up and running.

2011-01-31T03:42:00.003-05:00

I'm happy to say that the Hope,Believe,Fight website is up and running after final tweeking. Feel free to pass the link on to anyone that may need some help in locating Cancer Resources whether in Canada or the United States.

Head pain galore!

2011-01-31T02:43:00.002-05:00

This week has been a rough week with my head at times feeling like it is going to explide! I am certain it is pain/pressure due to surgery but I do need to speak to my Dr about it soon. It's quite an intense pain throughout my head, I actually call it "skull pain" because that's what it feels like, it feels like it is travelling through my skull. I also ended up getting the stomach bug that's been going around so it's been a crappy week to say the least. I am however at least feeling somewhat better so that's a good thing! I have 2 appointments at McMaster in February and I'm sure they will be interesting as I will be getting some test results back. For now I'm just taking the Tylenol when I need it and trying to rest as well but it's quite hard to lay down and sleep when any pressure on your head just intensifys it all. Oh well, fake it till ya make it right!?

~Tara

3 months

2011-01-20T20:51:00.002-05:00

It's been 3 months since my surgery, yep just 3 months. Alright who is sick of me saying "it's been..." every month? lol Well guess what? I don't care! Seriously, each day is a gift and each month is a milestone for me. I've continued to do well, infact better than my Drs have thought which is good. My only real issue that I still have from the surgery is that I still do have double vision but it isn't a constant thing and it does come and go so it makes it bearable. My perifrial vision is still buggered a bit but when I see my Opthamologist in March I'll see what "official" progress I've made in that area. My head seems soft on the right side it's really weird and I definately need to bring it up to my Dr the next time. Inbetween where the incision scars are it's as though my head is moist. Sounds gross and doesn't make sense right? lol Well the only way to describe it is gross so bear with me k!? Anyone who has taken a bath or shower and got out without pumicing their feet knows how that dried up calousy bit feels on say your heel, it's that weird texture, ya follow? Well imagine that texture but in a nice patch covering one side of your head, that's how it feels inbetween my incisions. It's a constant moist feeling, not wet and it's not damp but you can feel it's not normal dried scalp, it's really odd and it just won't seem to dry up like your scalp should.

I know it's only been 3 months since my surgery and sometimes it feels like it's been a lot longer so I figure I should be further along in the healing process so this may be normal, but at the same time it may not be so I definately need to speak to my Dr. But really those are my only real issues at the moment which I suppose is a good thing! I have a few appointments next month at McMaster but thankfully I only had the 1 this month!

Cancer SUCKS!

2011-01-12T11:40:00.015-05:00

We all know someone that has been touched by Cancer, you may have even been touched by it yourself but whatever the case may be: CANCER SUCKS! As you all know on October 21, 2010 I had a Malignant Tumor removed from my Brain, my surgeons got the whole tumor but not everyone is as lucky and not just with Brain tumors but with other Cancers as well. One of those people would be my friend Tammie whose brother Ricky, at just 25 years old he is losing his one and a half year battle with Colon Cancer, a disease that use to be uncommon in young people is sadly becoming all too common. And then I think of little Molly Campbell from Vancouver Island who just before Christmas this year and at just 28 days old was diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia and is currently undergoing daily painful chemotherapy. Stories like these not only break my heart but they make me so mad, CANCER SUCKS!!

Back in September I went from a normal day to day routine to finding out I had a cancerous brain tumor, to having major surgery and then being told I no longer have any tumor in me. The last few months have been trying, emotional and even life changing and that's what brings me to this post. When faced with something so serious you do ALOT of thinking, you wonder if you are dieing, you wonder if you've done anything in life that mattered, you wonder why you've wasted all of the years you have on frivulous things but most of all you wonder how things will be different when you come out on the other side. Well I'm about to tell you you how things have changed for me. First of all you all have been so wonderful and supportive of me during this time that I feel blessed beyond words, so thank you. And I now more than ever have a hate-on for Cancer and wondered what I could do that could help someone else that is facing cancer and that brings me to this: www.hopebelievefight.com

When I was diagnosed and also in early stages of recovery the one thing I did was read and I read anything and everything available to me to find out about cancer and also about what resources were abailable to me from the government and it was hard to find this information. Not to mention the fact that I didn't physically feel up to spending time looking for it anyways but it was just plain hard to track down! So I decided that my way of giving back and paying it forward would be to create a website with multiple cancer resources listed in one place. On the website you can find anything from local cancer centres to government disability programs, to lists ofcancer fighting foods to words of hope. And so for the last few weeks I've been compiling information that I already had and searching out new information that I needed and designed a website that has Cancer Resources listed by Province in addition to many other things. I hope that by placing all of this information in one spot online that it helps someone that is facing cancer and maybe makes their journey a little more bearable.

While the site contains alot of information specific to Canada it also contains other great information as well and has been recieved well already as we've recieved visitors and messages from all around the world. If you can pass this link on I would appreciate it, however my ultimate hope is that one day we won't need resources like this, we need to take out this violent predator that has no regard for human life and we need to find a cure!

~Tara

Hope,Beleive,Fight
for a world without cancer.

You can read an article on Ricky Here.

You can follow Baby Mollys Journey Here.

My NeuroSurgeon and my Ovaries?

2011-01-04T18:07:00.005-05:00

I had the first of what will be many visits at McMaster Hospital in Hamilton today and met with a Nurse practitioner to go over my Medical History, get some bloodwork done and partake of the ever dreaded peeing in a cup. Speaking of peeing in a cup I want to know why they don't make those cups a little more "female friendly" for us girls that have to squat! Anyways I was quite surprised when the nurse said to me, "did you know that Dr. Kachur requested you be tested for PCOS?", I wasn't aware of this request and kind of confused by it too. For those that may not know or remember, Dr. Kachur is the Head NeuroSurgeon that performed my operation and why he's requesting tests to be done on my Ovaries to check for Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome is beyond me lol. I know that when I was wheeled into the Operating room I asked the Surgical Team if they all had their morning coffees and they had (hey it was an early operation I wanted to make sure they were awake!) and they made sure that I hadn't had a cup of joe though and I really needed one! But I also told them to feel free to do what they want to me once I was knocked out, I'm thinking that may not have been the best thing;) I can't make the connection between a Brain Tumor and my ovaries so I find it quite entertaining to say the least.

So now aside from my many other appointments at McMaster I must return to undergo an Ultrasound *sighs*

Goodbye 2010!!!!

2010-12-30T23:15:00.012-05:00

To say that this past year has been a rollarcoaster ride is quite frankly an understatement. I can not wait to get this year behind me and move into a brand new year, with a better bill of health, a new outlook and attitude and move forward. The last 5 months in particular have been my own personal hell. In 5 short months I went from having very odd sensory things happening to me, to a bunch of tests being done and subsequently finding out that I had a large cancerous tumor on the right front temporal lobe of my brain that had probably been growing for more than 10 years. Talk about having your world rocked. And of course I can't forget being wheeled into the Operating Room at Hamilton General to have that nasty thing removed on October 21, 2010, that was a Thursday morning and I was home by Monday! My progess has been better than expected, and I recieved my Christmas Miracle on Dec 16 when I visited the Juravinski Cancer Centre in Hamilton to discuss my ongoing treatment only to be told that my Surgeons got the whole tumor and therefore I would be put into observation to have MRI's done as the Neurologist said, "until your grey". What a relief and a blessing all rolled into one. And I know that my continued health and wellbeing lies in my hands. While going through the battery of tests I did and during recovery I read alot about Cancer and I learned quite a bit. The 2 things that Cancer loves and feeds off of is Refined Sugar and White Flour, so as I leave 2010 behind I also leave those foods behind. I will be adopting a Whole Grain Diet, avoiding White Sugar, Aspratame and White Flour and making sure I get my moderate exercise daily. Hey, if I don't look out for myself and my health, who will?

So I hope that most of you who read this haven't been through your own Personal Hell like I have this year but even if you have I'd like to say this: Tomorrow is another day, Chin up and carry on! Leave 2010 behind you and look forward to a new day.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!

~Tara

2 months ago today....

2010-12-21T22:42:00.007-05:00

2 months ago today I had my Operation to remove my Brain Tumor, I really can't beleive it. I can't beleive that this whole journey started a mere 5 months ago, it's been a very emotional and trying 5 months. I've made a lot of progress as well which is good, for starters I don't use my cane at all and haven't for a few weeks now, and my perifrial vision that my Opthamologist said I would probably never regain, well guess what? While it isn't back fully in both eyes I've regained most in my right eye and some in my left!

And ask me about a month ago what my day consisted of and I'd have told you that I was up early in the morning to take my pills and took many naps during the day and not much else. I'd jump online to check emails but that really was about it. Not being able to bend over or carry anything over 10 lbs because of the surgery has unforutunately limited me in things I can do around the house and I had no desire to leave the house, so if I wasn't at an appointment I was probably home napping.

Well as you may know I recieved some good news last week and that definately brightened my mood and lifted my spirits. I went 2 days in a row this week with no naps at all after having been out those days and today I napped only once. But today also consisted of cleaning around the house, wrapping gifts and getting things ready for Holiday visitors. I know it may seem like nothing to someone reading this but to me it's a HUGE thing. The fact that not only am I able to do these things but have the energy and desire to do so is a huge step in the right direction. I've been using a grab stick of sorts which allows me to pick things up without bending over so it's been a great tool for me!

Physically the only real discomfort I have and have had all along is on the right side of my head, big surprise I know lol But it's tender to the touch on the top right hand side which my Surgeon said is due to the fact that they cut the nerves during operation and it takes a while for them to heal after they reattach them. That and I get a pressure from time to time right above my right ear that feels like something is trying to push my skull out, it's uncomfortable when it happens and more annoying than anything but I just take some pain pills and take a nap and hope that when I awake it's gone and it usually is. I'm also quite sensative to white, you read that right: White. I'm sensative to light but white especially. If I'm looking at the computer where the screen is mostly white or in the car and looking at the snow on the ground or reading a book or magazine that has white pages I can't do it for too long because it hurts.

Considering however what I've been through I think these are very small things that hopefully in time will get better anyways.

~Tara

Just to clear up a few questions you may have

2010-12-17T10:17:00.011-05:00

Goodmorning all! I just wanted to write a blog post to address some questions that have been asked and seem to be floating around in peoples minds about what is going
on with me. I didn't really clarify some things in my post yesterday so I will today.

Q) What kind of tumor did you have?
A)The type of tumor that I had was called a Mixed Glioma which specifically is a Brain Tumor and has a mixture of 2 types of Cancer cells, some bad, some not and there is no way to tell which cells are dominant and which cells remained in the tissue which is why I will be doing observation to keep a close eye on them.

Q) Will you need any further treatment?
A)At this point no, nowever because I am in Observation we will be able to watch the cells and see what they are doing and should the cancer cells misbehave and start to regroup with other cells and start to form a new tumor they can catch it at hopefully the start of formation and I would at that point need further treatment. But as long as the cancer cells mind their own business & don't try to make friends, I won't need any further treatment.

Q) What about the Chemo pill?
A)I was told that I do not have the genetic markers to be able to take the chemo pill so if at any point I need further treatment I will be placed on Radiation first and then Chemotherapy. If I would have had the marker to take the pill as pure precautionary in conjunction with observation I would have been taking that now as well because it is easy on the body.

Q) And why the difference between the 2 Drs Wed & Thurs??
A)GREAT QUESTION! You can only imagine how stunned we were when the Dr at the Cancer Centre said what he did and I was quick to question him as well considering what I was told the day before. The information I recieved Wed came from the Chief of Staff at the Hospital. While he was looking at my latest MRI, he was doing so without having my initial MRI with him to compare them both and without having been the person performing my surgery. So really he was assuming how much was recovered during the operation. When I brought this up to the Dr at the Cancer Centre Thurs he simply said that he is going by Pathology and their findings. Keep in mind that Pathology not only compares MRIS they also examine the removed tumor and inspect it. So they are able to determine what was removed alot more accurately than someone looking at an MRI. Plus something did show up on the MRI, that was the Fiberous Tissues!

Q) How am I feeling?
A) I'm a mixed bag of emotions right now. I feel excited, happy and relief but's a cautious relief. It's been a very hard 4 months and my emotions have been jerked around constantly. What I do know is that I have been able to reflect on alot of things these past 4 months and what I once thought important seems to be so far from that. I appreciate the love and support and prayers of my family and friends you guys are amazing! I really doubt I would have faired as well as I have if I didn't have you all rallying around me.

In the New Year I will be meeting with Dieticians and Endocrinologists to help in the study between Diabetes and Cancer. Hey if I can help with something that's never a bad thing.
And in the New brings a new Lifestyle. I've been reading alot of books on Cancer and the connection between our Dietary habits in the Western World and how it feeds cancer cells, so the New Year brings change. When I left the Cancer Centre yesterday the Dr shook my hand and said, "Okay you're not sick, go and Enjoy your Christmas", and I plan to do exactly that! And I hope you all will as well.

Lots of Love
~Tara

I have excellent News!

2010-12-16T21:14:00.002-05:00

I am more than excited to report the following:

I will not be doing Chemotherapy or Radiation! Why you ask? Because the Surgeon got the whole tumor! But what did the chief of staff say to me yesterday? Well he said that he didn't have my original MRI to compare this latest MRI with but he suspects that they got 50-75%. So he really didn't have an accurate number to go with, but of course I left the office feeling depressed and thinking the worse. Well when I saw the Dr today he was going over the Pathologists report with me and said that the only thing that shows up on the MRI are the fiberous tissues that the tumor left behind which is what I was seeing when I viewed the MRI!

He said that with Patients my age with my type of brain tumor (mixed glioma) they prefer to put them into Observation indefinitely. All that means is that for the 1st year I will have an MRI every 4 months,and the 2nd year every 6 months and the 3rd year on it's once every year.Basically they will continously monitor my brain and if anything showed up down the road they would deal with it at that time with radiation first and then chemotherapy , but to do chemotherapy and radiation right now I would be putting my body through unnessessary pain and long term effects. So my first MRI is April 2011. To say I am excited is COMPLETE understatement! This really is the best Christmas Gift I could have ever recieved.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

~Tara

My final Surgeons appointment: Horatio lives on

2010-12-15T20:09:00.005-05:00

Alright, so I met with my Surgeon and also the Chief of Staff today in Hamilton where we reviewed the MRI together and I was shown the mass in my brain that they couldn't remove. Yeah you read that right: That they couldn't remove :( I asked both of them how much was removed and I was told that probably between 50-75% but they of course can not be certain. As I hear them say that they were unable to remove about 25-50% of the tumor my heart sank. I knew they probably wouldn't be able to get it all but to hear that it could be as high as half of the tumor it just felt like someone sucker punched me. I was told that with the tumor and location that they had a 7cm area in which they could work with removing it without affecting too much. I was told that had they gone any deeper to try and remove anymore of the tumor that they could have possibly blinded me, left me deaf or severely affected my speech and because of my age they didn't want to do that. The Chief of Staff put me through my paces and had me do some monkey tricks as I call them to see how I'm walking, talking, seeing, etc and both him and my Surgeon seemed impressed with how well I'm doing. They figured I'd have many more issues post surgery that most people that have brain tumors removed do experience but were happy that I wasn't.

And now I cut ties with my Surgeon, and as I left his office I shook his hand and simply said, "Thank you, and on't take this the wrong way but I hope to never see you again", to which he smiled and replied "that would be great."

Now I am in the hands of my Oncologist and the people at the Juravinksi Cancer Centre in Hamilton for further Treatment. That reatment should be Chemotherapy and Radiation but what kind and what schedule I won't know until tomorrow when I meet with them again. I will let you all know tomorrow how my appointment goes, for now I'm crossing my fingers and hoping that I'll get some good news tomorrow and learn that I can take the Chemo Pill. Some good news would be nice. Yeah it really would.

~Tara

Surgeons Appointment tomorrow

2010-12-14T18:55:00.002-05:00

So I meet with my Surgeon tomorrow for the first time since my surgery, this will be my first post-op appointment and hopefully the last time I see this man again. nothing against him, he's a great surgeon, but I'm hoping I'm done with Horatio. My appointment tomorrow however is weather permitting as it's been crazy out on the highways! I also meet with my Oncologist for the first time on Thursday and that's a big day for me, that's the day I find out about Chemo and Radiation. I'm king of nervous as well because we will be going over my latest MRI results as well and I was told previously that something showed up on the MRI we just weren't sure what it was but I guess Thursday I'll find out.

~Breathe~ That's really all I can keep telling myself and all I can do.

~Tara

It's been a rough few days

2010-12-03T23:25:00.002-05:00

This week has been far from a good week for me that's for sure. I went to my Family Dr Monday and got my final stitch out and you wouldn't beleive how much better my head felt after having that tiny little stitch out! My Dr gave me the stitch and I have it in a tiny bag at home:) He put me on some new medication for my Diabetes and well that medication didn't agree with me. I unfortunately suffered most of the side effects which were not pleasant to say the least but once I stopped taking that medication I started feeling alot better.

I ended up cancelling my appointment with my Oncologist and NeuroSurgeon though because there was no way I was hitting the highway with how I was feeling.I was feeling somewhat better until the right side of my face started to puff up and was warm to touch! My face was really inflammed and I was in severe pain running along my jawline, teeth and around my right eye. The only relief is placing an ice pack on my cheek which helps bring the inflammation down but within minutes of removing the ice pack it gets inflammed again. Having had many sinus infections before I thought that perhaps that's what it was so I went to the Drs who said it could be a sinus infection but he suspects that it's a bacterial infection on the underside of my cheek :( My Hubby asked him if it could be related to my surgery and he said it would be hard to say. Sure an infection could have set in at any stitch, scab, opening to my head etc, you really couldn't tell.

Long story short he placed me on an antibiotic and I need to follow up with my Dr Tuesday to see how it's coming along. I hope the meds work because painkillers aren't and only an ice pack will help right now which gets pretty cold this time of year! Oh well, yet another bump in the rd to deal with.

~Tara

Some Improvements!

2010-11-23T19:30:00.002-05:00

I haven't wrote a blog in a bit but that's mainly because I've been resting a lot and trying to get myself back into the real world all at the same time. Some good news to report however is that even though my Opthamologist said I would have perminant damange to my perifrial vision I was sitting on the couch last week and was able to see my cat that was on the top of the couch to my right using perifrial vision! So while it may be slowly improving at least it's improving! That and my Double vision is becoming less frequent and previously I wasn't able to lift my right eyebrow or lid and I am able to do it slightly! So a few improvements even though some are small and slow they are at least heading in the right direction!

I've been out shopping a few times and it seems to tire me out easily but little by little I'm trying to integrate myself back into society. My Surgeons appointments today was rescheduled for Dec since he was need in Emergency Surgery but I do have an MRI scheduled for Friday in Hamilton and then with my Family Dr on Monday and hopefully get my last stitch out because it's been hurting like hell. After that I meet with the Cancer Centre on Dec 2 to learn the results of the Genetic Marker Tests and to see what my Treatment will be and schedule for that as well and then I meet with my Surgeon on Dec 3. I have an appointment in the new year to meet with an Endocrinologist in the new year I beleive a Dietician as well. So there are a lot of appointments ahead and some more tests to be done but I'm muddling through.

~Tara

Perm Damage :(

2010-11-11T20:23:00.003-05:00

'm back from my Opthamologist appointment and I suppose things could be worse. I knew previously that the surgery had messed up my vision in my right eye and today I was to find out to what extent it did. My Dr said that my double vision should correct itself within the next few months as should the blurryness but that I unfortunately suffered perminant damage in both eyes in regards to my Perifreial vision .He said if there would be any hope for it to correct itself at all it would be within the next few months but he doesn't beleive it will. How this effects me is that I simply would never be able to drive and things such as crossing the street are a little more dangerous but other than that my vision will be fine. It sucks drastically but I'm trying to stay positive and think that it could be a lot worse. I go back and see this Dr in March to do some more tests and see if at that point I've regained any more of my vision, for now I have a droopy right eye due to the nerves not sending my muscles any messages to work! lol But other than that I'm doing a lot better than the Drs have expected me to which is good.

~Tara

Chemo Fashion

2010-11-11T09:33:00.003-05:00

So I've been told and have been reading about the effects of chemo and radiation and of course losing your hair is one of them. I figured if I'm going to lose my hair I'm going to look fashionable while doing so:) It's been difficult finding anything real cute, I guess most chemo patients just want to cover their bald heads and don't care about much else but dammit I want to make a fashion statement! So I was thinking it sucks that my chemo and radiation is going to start in the dead of winter right before christmas but that means I can be all chrismasy! lol So I looked online and found a chemo hat that is hand made 100% cottom in fabric that is the Peanuts Christmas lol It is so cute and I will wear it to my radiation appointments:)I saw the cutest chemo hat at the Cancer Centre that I might pick up when I'm there next, and my Mom actually bought me my first chemo hat to. It's white with a satin lining inside and really comfy.I think I'll wear the hat today though, afterall it is kinda cool outside and it will hide my scars since my hair hasn't grown back in yet. Chemo Fashion, such a sad reality that such a thing even needs to exist.

~Tara